The trip back to Skyhold was a rather quiet one. Barris had been understanding about Siara's silence regarding the markings, but he wasn't entirely convinced about keeping it to himself. Of course, Siara hadn't told him everything. She certainly hadn't told him that she had been developing magic since the markings had first started appearing, only that they had appeared way back at Haven and had been growing since. She'd said she didn't know what they were, and she didn't know how she got them. She hadn't mentioned the theories that Solas and Anders had come up with.
She stopped as they approached the gates to Skyhold, her eyes moving from the ancient stone of the castle walls to Barris. It took a moment for him to notice that Siara had stopped her horse, pulling his own to a halt and turning to face her.
"Is everything all right?" he asked. Siara almost felt touched. He had been caught up in his own thoughts, had hardly talked to her this whole trip back, yet his first thought when he noticed her lagging was to make sure she was okay.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just…" she paused. "Barris, I just need to know -"
"I won't tell anyone about the markings."
Relief flooded over Siara. She hadn't even realised she was so anxious about what Barris was going to do when they returned to Skyhold. She'd been apprehensive, sure, but she didn't realise she'd been this worried. It felt like it went a bit further than just keeping her secret until she was ready to tell people. Part of her was relieved to know that she was right to trust Barris, and was almost happy that his agreeing to keep her secret implied he trusted her, too.
"Thank you."
"But I think you should," Barris continued. "I don't have enough knowledge to be able to help with those markings, and if there is something else going on with them you'll be needing it."
"I know," Siara assured him. "I've already told…" she paused for a moment, briefly contemplating if she should be telling Barris, "I've already told Solas. He's been looking into it for a while now."
"How many people know about this?"
"Uh… living people?"
A look that almost resembled concern passed across Barris' face.
"Yes?" he said, sounding a bit uncertain.
"Including you?"
"Sure."
"I think… two. Excluding me."
"Maker…" Barris sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Siara raised an eyebrow.
"The fewer people who know about this, the better," she told him. "I don't know what these markings are, I don't know how I got them, and an annoying number of people know who I am. If word started getting around that The Blade has contracted mysterious marks, then, well, I don't know exactly. But I can't think it would do Inquisitor Trevelyan any favours. Public opinion is irritatingly important."
"You think people would stop thinking she's the Herald?" Barris asked. Siara shrugged as her eyes flicked to the walls, where a couple of soldiers were now looking over the crenulations at them.
"I don't know," she admitted, gently nudging her horse forward. "But I don't think she'd much like sharing the spotlight, and that would be a pretty good possibility, too."
Barris turned his horse around once more and together they rode in through the gates.
Siara slid down from Blaze's back before moving around to his head, reins in hand as she gently stroked his nose while leading him to his stall. She was midway through removing his tack when Cassandra walked over to her. For a moment the Seeker just stood there, looking almost awkward. Siara glanced from Blaze briefly before returning to watching what her hands were doing.
"Can I help you?" she asked, one eyebrow slightly raised.
"It's not exactly something you can help me with," Cassandra said, almost hesitantly. "There's just something I need to say to you."
"Uh… huh?" Siara carried the saddle past Cassandra through Blaze's stall door, letting it swing gently shut behind her as she took the saddle to where the rest of the horse gear was kept. "Cassandra, I don't mean any offence by this, but we've never exactly seen eye to eye, and I'm not even sure we've really talked to each other since recruiting Bull."
"I know, I understand that, but… I need to get this off my chest. Do you have a moment?"
Siara paused a moment, her hands lingering on the saddle as she set it down. One of the stable hands came over, taking over cleaning her gear and putting things in their appropriate places. It almost irritated Siara. She wanted a reason to not have to talk to Cassandra. She wasn't really in the mood for being told off about something that she didn't even know she'd done wrong.
"I guess so," she grumbled, stepping out of the tack room and briefly heading back to Blaze's stall to grab her own bags and to make sure that the horse was being appropriately cared for. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong, exactly," Cassandra said, falling into step beside Siara, "it's just that… well, there have been a few things happening recently that have gotten me thinking."
"Yeah, I'd be careful with that if I were you. Thinking often leads to trouble."
"Please, don't interrupt. This is difficult enough for me to say without your… attitude."
"Sorry," Siara shot Cassandra an uncertain smile, feeling a bit awkward herself. The way Cassandra was acting and talking to her was making her feel uncomfortable. She was used to Cassandra ignoring her, or even being abrasive to her. Not… whatever this was. Siara found herself looking back towards the stables, hoping to see Barris stepping out so he could interrupt whatever this was. But he wasn't anywhere to be seen, probably still caring for his horse. Siara would have stayed to care for Blaze, but she knew that others knew more about caring for horses than she did.
"As I said, there have been things coming to light," Cassandra continued, "things that have had me thinking that… perhaps your actions aren't as reprehensible as I initially thought them to be."
Siara's footsteps came to an abrupt halt and she stared at Cassandra, a shocked frown on her face. There were a million thoughts swirling around in her head, but she couldn't make one stay put for long enough to voice it. So instead, she settled for regarding Cassandra closely, as though she expected a second head to grow on the Seeker's neck.
"I can understand why you challenge the Inquisitor on so many decisions she makes," Cassandra continued, "and perhaps you were even right to save Empress Celene. I don't know. But I am sure that you're aware of Cullen's recent relapse into taking lyrium again."
"Yeah, I am," Siara said, rather hesitantly, still watching Cassandra with apprehension.
"I understand that you were supportive of him not taking it. Is this true?"
"He didn't want to be taking it, from what I know," Siara shrugged. "It's his choice. Why wouldn't I support it?"
"What are your thoughts about him taking it again?"
"That either he was thinking stupid thoughts or that he wasn't thinking at all."
Cassandra scoffed, but she also looked somewhat relieved. The frown on Siara's face deepened slightly, and her head tilted to the side, regarding the other woman with curiosity.
"I'm relieved that I'm not the only one believing he made a mistake," she admitted, "and I thank you for being so understanding."
''You really don't have to thank me."
"But I do," Cassandra emphasised. "I have tried talking to Cullen about what made him start taking lyrium again, and tried to ask him if it is what he truly wants, but he doesn't listen to me. He says that the Inquisitor asked him to start taking lyrium again, that she said him being off it was too great a risk," Siara rolled her eyes slightly at that, but didn't interrupt. "I am surprised that he allowed anyone, even the Inquisitor, to talk him into taking it again, but I believe that if you talk to him, he might listen."
"I was already going to talk to him," Siara admitted, starting to walk past Cassandra, heading in the direction of her room. "I don't know why all you people think that the stubborn bastard will listen to me any more than anyone else, but I've already promised to give it a shot."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Please. I mean it. It's weird coming from you."
Cassandra scoffed slightly, a small smile on her lips.
"I suppose I deserve that," she admitted, "and I apologise for the way I have treated you in the past."
"Okay, while I appreciate it, Cassandra, I really do, please stop now," Siara rubbed her forehead. "I think my head is about to explode."
"I'll leave you to settle back in, then," Cassandra told her. Siara nodded a silent farewell, taking her stuff back to her room, her head still spinning with everything that Cassandra had said to her, bracing herself for the conversation she was going to have with Cullen.