Gladiator

by Seyary-Minamoto

In a world where the Avatar wasn't found, the Fire Nation took over two nations and they strive to overcome the last one. Water Tribe warrior Sokka seeks to fight for his people's rights, but he's captured by his enemies. His life is no longer in his hands as he fights as a Gladiator, and his fate will eventually depend on the Fire Nation Princess, who needs him for her own ends...

345. Chapter 345: The North's Aftermath 4

The North's Aftermath

4

Aonu arrived on the first ship to reenter the waters of the Fire Nation mainland, almost three weeks after the initial message about the bodies reached the Fire Lord's office. Organizing the return of the numerous dead had taken time: as many ships as possible were repurposed for the sake of bringing the casualties from the battle back to the Capital, and it would take several days before all of them arrived.

The atmosphere was deeply somber across this operation. Aonu had sent word to Ozai regarding what had happened, and the Fire Lord responded with surprising restraint. Aonu feared he might have been stemming in rage, barely holding in the urges to destroy and raze the Gladiator's armies to the ground… but upon speaking with him in his study, he found something else instead in the Fire Lord's demeanor.

"No bombs? No traps? No sign of the enemy at any point in time as you retrieved the corpses?" Ozai had asked. "They weren't spying on our troops' movements?"

"I sent scouts to comb the nearby area, and they found nothing," Aonu confirmed. Ozai gritted his teeth. "The remains of the soldiers hadn't faced much decay yet, as they were encased in ice… but they will need to be burned at once, when they arrive."

"You… you brought him with you, didn't you?" Ozai asked. "Zhao's body was… in your ship?"

"Indeed, my Lord," Aonu said. Ozai's eyes were clouded by an emotion distinct to rage, for once. "Would you like for me to begin arranging preparations for his funeral?"

"No. I… I will handle it myself," Ozai said, breathing deeply. "Focus on bringing the rest of them home. The survivors, you retrieved them as well?"

"Indeed. They weren't questioned by the northerners, apparently," said Aonu. "Though… they've confirmed his presence. The Gladiator… he was there. This whole operation to send the dead back to us may really have been his idea."

"I suppose so. She still understands him better than she knows, doesn't she?" Ozai said, with a deep sigh and a shake of his head. "Any other noteworthy information they could share?"

"None they offered just yet," Aonu said. "They seem to be… well, not quite alright. Surviving this battle apparently took a serious toll on them too. I will see that they're questioned further later on, but I'm afraid they might not be in a fit state to continue carrying out military duties. They might even become liabilities, if they did."

"Of course," Ozai said, breathing out heavily.

"Should I set in motion our strategies to bolster our troops?" Aonu asked. "I can send word so the conscription begins whenever…"

"Don't," Ozai cut him off. Aonu's eyes widened. "I… I may be able to find another solution. Expand the recruitment efforts… but we won't resort to conscription yet if we can help it. You've done well so far, War Minister Aonu. Please return to your duties now. Should anything else arise, let me know at once."

"I shall, my Lord," Aonu said, bowing down towards Ozai.

That strange, mellow behavior didn't suit the Fire Lord. The fires of vengeance and fury were visibly absent in him… and whatever he meant to do instead of resorting to conscription surprised and confused Aonu. He frowned while he marched down the Palace's hallways, fists tight as his heart raced, pondering the Fire Lord's strange attitude as well as what Aonu himself had to do next…

For he had to take a detour before fulfilling Ozai's commands. The Fire Lord wouldn't approve, he supposed… but Aonu needed to pay a visit to his primary ally in this Palace. A new war meeting would be summoned before long, he knew… the faster he spoke to her, the faster he'd begin the recruitment efforts towards rebuilding their army.

A nagging voice inside his head, though, warned him that it might be pointless. That the more people joined the Fire Nation's army, the more casualties they'd face, rather than the opposite… another voice, one so much harder to ignore, warned him that he had chosen the wrong side of this war. That in seeking so much belonging in the Fire Nation, he had turned his back on his true roots, the roots he had tried to deny for so many years just to convince himself that there was a place in this world for him. Countless people were rebuilding the Earth Kingdom now… why wasn't he one of them? Why was he here, serving the Fire Lord, instead?

That last voice sounded an awful lot like Renzhi's.

His heart clenched at the thought of his vanished friend. To this day, he didn't know anything about where he was or what he would think of what was happening these days. But where Aonu had been born an earthbender, the illegitimate son of a Fire Nation nobleman, Renzhi was the firebending son of an Earth Kingdom woman, a single mother who had chosen to keep her son regardless of his heritage, regardless of what a pariah she had become after his first firebending display. He was a firebender who felt a stronger belonging with the Earth Kingdom… Aonu, the opposite. Neither one could deny their roots – their bending contradicted the mandate of their hearts. But where Aonu had been desperate to belong, Renzhi had simply lived his life as a feather in the breeze, enjoying the ride until he landed, and a gust of wind blew him off to new distances. He had never wanted to be Fire Nation: he had been content without ever becoming part of the nation that had victimized his mother. He hadn't judged or hated Aonu for being his entire opposite, somehow.

Would he be part of the Blue Wolf's army, if he had the chance to be? Would he join forces with him? Would he, perhaps, live his life peacefully in the reconquered Omashu or in Ba Sing Se? If so… then the devastation of this stage of the war would at least have had one positive outcome, among all the dark ones that Aonu wanted to minimize or prevent. He wouldn't change his course… he couldn't, not anymore. But if Renzhi was alright, that would be enough for Aonu.

He suspected the Princess felt similarly about her gladiator… only, the Blue Wolf was certainly not safe at the head of the great army that threatened the Fire Nation as boldly as it did. Even so… Aonu hoped that his visit would provide the Princess with at least a small relief in the middle of the storms that kept striking away mercilessly at her life, these days.

He approached the Princess's bedroom to find a guard standing at the door. Aonu bowed his head respectfully to the man, immediately apprehensive upon addressing him.

"Is the Princess available?" he asked, point-blank.

"She is training in the Agni Kai Arena at the moment, War Minister," said the guard. Aonu raised his eyebrows – somehow, he hadn't expected the man would know who he was. Getting used to his new status in the Fire Nation was harder than it seemed…

After getting directions from this guard, Aonu made his way to the Agni Kai Arena instead. His thoughts, fears and concerns kept him company until he found yet another guard by the door that led into the Princess's current training location. He wondered if this one, whose ornate uniform gave away he was a captain, knew who he was, too…

"I've been told the Princess is here," Aonu said.

"Indeed," the guard responded, curtly. His melodious voice didn't suit the harshness of his response. Aonu's eyes narrowed.

"Please inform her that I'm here to see her, if you would," he said.

"Is this urgent?" the guard asked. Aonu's eyebrow twitched.

"I wouldn't have sought her out if it weren't," he said. "Am I troubling you, Captain?"

"The question isn't whether you'll trouble me but her," the Captain responded. "She is under orders to train by the Fire Lord, and she has asked me to keep everyone out of this room until she's through with her training."

"I'm sure she'll make an exception for me," Aonu said.

"Is that so?" the guard replied. Aonu snarled.

"You think I'm a hazard for her?" he asked. "Funny. I could very well judge you to be one as well."

"Oh?" the Captain appeared to grow less amused by the conversation by the minute, but Aonu felt rather similarly.

"Were you among the guards who stood aside and allowed her to be disgraced? Or were you one of those who were personally involved in it, instead?" Aonu asked, venomously. The Captain winced, his hands balling into fists. "No man who had a chance to spare her from that pain and humiliation has any right to play her staunch protector now. Tell her I'm here to see her: if she refuses me, I'll leave. But I'm not walking away simply because you think you know best, Captain."

The guard seemed upset by his words, but Aonu didn't relent. However cruel as he might have sounded, as much as he hardly knew anything about the circumstances surrounding Azula's downfall, he had no doubt her personal guards had either paid a steep price for her alleged betrayal through her relationship with the gladiator, or had betrayed her somehow, only retaining their position in the military by doing so. If this man were entirely unseasoned, a new recruit, he would have immediately defended himself by claiming innocence, by giving away that he had no part to play in the Princess's downfall…

"Wait here," he said, firmly. Aonu scowled at him, giving him no other answer as the man entered the Agni Kai Arena, shooting one last warning glare at him from over his shoulder.

War Minister Aonu wasn't at fault for not understanding what had taken place that night, Renkai knew as much, but his blood boiled upon hearing him hurl an accusation of the sort at him. In a sense, he wasn't mistaken: Renkai hadn't helped Azula directly when he had the chance, but he had stayed behind precisely to ensure that he could protect her now. He had fulfilled his duties as best he could, from the moment this madness had first begun… but it wasn't up to Renkai to reveal that to the man. The War Minister would have to learn the hard way that he didn't understand the world, or everything about it, as well as he had convinced himself that he did.

The Princess was training on the platform at the center of the room: her firebending displays gained further strength each day, the blue light more intense as it spread across the grand hall. Song and Rei sat on the stands, and the healer was holding the bundle of blankets that, Renkai knew, concealed Hotaru.

He announced himself by clearing his throat after the Princess performed a somersault in which she launched a powerful, packed fireball in the direction of non-existent enemies. She turned around quickly, glancing at Renkai questioningly.

"What's wrong?" she asked, at once.

"Someone's here to see you," Renkai said, without masking his bitterness. "War Minister Aonu. He claims it's urgent."

Azula gritted her teeth as she glanced at the closed door: so he was back… and surely, he had brought the unwanted confirmation of Zhao's fate. Rei tensed up, perhaps fearful of the same thing, and Song wrapped an arm around her shoulders, still holding Hotaru against her chest with her other arm.

"Would you receive him here or would you rather I send him away until you're ready to see him later?" asked Renkai.

Azula frowned: Aonu had no time to waste. Whatever he wanted to do or say, he probably had to get it done quickly.

"Song… keep Hotaru covered," Azula said. Song gritted her teeth. "Let the War Minister in."

"Are you… sure?" Renkai said, eyeing her with uncertainty under his helmet.

"I didn't help him gain that position in my father's court for no reason, Renkai," Azula said, sighing as she marched up to the stands: a towel rested there, and she dried her sweat quickly. "I trust him. This should be over quickly anyway."

Renkai sighed and nodded before marching to the door again. Song eyed Azula with uncertainty, the blankets over Hotaru ensuring that the child's face would not be visible.

"You can trust him, but you don't want him to see her…?" Song asked.

"If he never sees her, he can't confirm the truth that everyone already suspects, and my father can't hold that against him," Azula sighed. "It sounds nonsensical, but it's still true. Rei…"

The girl, resting against Song, winced and eyed her with uncertainty.

"I know I warned you about what might have happened already, but…" Azula said. Rei shook her head.

"Don't… don't worry about me," she said. "Whatever happened… there's no changing it anymore. I'll… I'll be okay. Just…"

"I'll be right here with you," Song said, tightening her grip around Rei, who nodded and hid her face in her friend's shoulder. "You're not alone, Rei."

Azula's heart tightened upon hearing those words: the three of them should never be alone. Whatever happened next, whatever Ozai's demands and commands might be, she needed to make sure that her daughters and Song would stick together.

She sighed before turning towards the door: Aonu had marched in by then, shooting a nasty glare at Renkai from over his shoulder as he approached Azula.

"I do apologize for interfering in your training," Aonu said. "I wouldn't have taken much more of your time, but unfortunately, your guard was determined to keep me from you."

"It is his job to ensure that no one comes close to me without my express permission," Azula said, with an apologetic smile. Aonu frowned. "I'm sure he'll know by now that he doesn't need to get in your way, Aonu."

"Well… if you do trust him to keep you safe, I suppose it must be for good reason," Aonu said, breathing deeply. "Nevertheless, I didn't come here to discuss your security detail. I… well, I come bearing news from the north."

"Indeed," Azula said, her face shifting to a frown. "The report about the bodies…?"

"It was true. There was no trap," Aonu said. Azula's heart clenched. "It took us time to thaw them out of… of the iceberg they were bent into. But by the time we were finished… we counted three thousand, six hundred and twenty-nine bodies."

The blood chilled in Azula's body as her eyes widened. Song, behind her, gripped Rei more tightly as the magnitude of that number sank in, much as it did for Rei, too.

"As you must imagine… this isn't bound to be the full account of our losses in the north," Aonu said, gritting his teeth. "These are simply the bodies they could rescue, some of which were severely damaged. I'd rather not elaborate on the details in that regard. I… I don't know why they took their time to do this, let alone why they didn't keep their prisoners... we've retrieved them, and most of them are in no fit shape to keep fighting, even those who weren't injured."

"The toll on their minds must be severe. Survival can appear to be a worse curse than death sometimes," Azula said. Aonu nodded.

"The situation is no more promising than it was before. Now we simply have… some certainty," Aonu said, gritting his teeth. "I know you're aware that it was the likeliest possibility… but Admiral Zhao's body was indeed among those we retrieved."

A sharp breath… then, a sob. It was muffled, for Rei didn't want to make a fuss, didn't want to call attention to herself, but the confirmation of Zhao's demise didn't hurt her any less. Azula gritted her teeth, tightening her fists and nodding at Aonu. She'd try to comfort Rei later… if it was even possible for her to do so.

"The bodies will begin decaying soon. His will be among the first funerary pyres the Head Sage will begin arranging over the next weeks," said Aonu. "The Fire Lord said he would take care of arranging it. I have to go back out there, continue supervising the return of the bodies, but… there was a letter on Admiral Zhao's body, Princess. It… it was addressed to you."

Azula frowned: Zhao couldn't have written any missives intended for her in case he died. Soldiers were known to carry death poems with them to battle at times, in case the worst happened… but if Zhao were to die, would he leave a message behind for Azula? Wouldn't it be more likely that he'd write something for Rei instead, at best?

Perhaps he had… perhaps the message was intended for her, but it might have been about his expectations and hopes for Rei. Could it be his final will? Could it be a way to make amends for all the anguish he had caused his daughter?

Or was the truth behind this mysterious message more complicated than that?

Aonu slid a hand inside his tunic, producing a surprisingly thick scroll from it. Azula frowned – she didn't think Zhao would be particularly long-winded… but to make matters worse, the scroll didn't look Fire Nation at all. The scroll's handles were blue, actually…

Her eyes widened.

She met Aonu's gaze to find he hadn't been any more fooled about the true precedence of this message than she was.

"How did you… did you read it? Is that how you know it's meant for me?" she asked, probing Aonu. He shook his head.

"I only read the header to make certain that I could deliver it to its intended recipient," he said. "I don't know what the contents might be. Whatever they are… should it be anything important, I beseech you to share it with us as soon as you're able. But for now, I… I shall leave you to it, Princess."

Her hands trembled violently when she raised them to take the scroll. When she clasped it carefully between her hands…

Her heart threatened to burst from her chest as she held the letter… as she gained something new, something physical, unlike their spiritual connections so far. As she touched the same parchment he had touched.

To think he had such an effect on her, to this day. To think he could break her, if he so wished… to think he could turn her life upside down with a single choice, bold and blatant as it had been. How careless of him to choose a Water Tribe scroll to write upon… had anyone else found the message, anyone other than Aonu, it would have been delivered to the Fire Lord at once and she would have never read the words he had destined to her…

"I hope you have a good day, Princess," Aonu said, eyeing her compassionately. She swallowed hard, nodding.

"Good luck with… with all the things you need to do, Aonu," she said. "Thank you for this. I… thank you. Truly."

He nodded, turning on his heels and returning to the door. Renkai watched Azula with uncertainty: he had seen the blue handles on the scroll as well. He had noticed Azula's reaction. He knew just how vital, how valuable, this message would be for the Princess.

He drew in a deep breath, following Aonu to the door. The earthbender didn't leave, however, once Renkai closed the door behind himself and he took his position to guard the entrance once again.

"You… weren't involved in her fall from grace?" Aonu asked. Renkai scowled.

"You have much to busy yourself with, don't you?"

"The Princess is one of the few friends I have left. Perhaps the only one," Aonu said, turning towards him with a scowl. "If you're truly an ally to her, then… I rescind my previous comments against you. I only want to ensure she's alright. Guards like you can be detrimental to that, just as you could be a great help…"

"The Princess's Royal Guards were never anything but loyal to her," Renkai said, harshly. Aonu winced. "They've paid for that loyalty by having to leave her side for a full year now. Think whatever you will of me, but they sought to save her from the Fire Lord's wrath at whatever cost. None of them betrayed her."

"Is that so?" Aonu said, his voice softer. "Then… that's good. I'm glad they were worthy of serving her."

"Indeed. And you should be on your way now," Renkai said. Aonu nodded.

"Good day. I apologize for my harshness," he said.

"You needn't do so," Renkai retorted.

Aonu sighed – it didn't appear that he'd ever stop giving people bad first impressions, no matter his current rank in society. But he wasn't here to make new friends: whatever that guard thought of him wasn't as important as his ability to keep the Princess and her companions safe.

He had noticed one of the women had been holding a small bundle: it had to be the child. The Princess had spoken of her as female… a daughter. Princess Azula had far too much to protect, too many people to keep safe… provided that guard helped her in that purpose, Aonu wouldn't have any problems with him.

He walked away, forcing himself to return to his tasks again, much as the guard would stand by the door… but Princess Azula wouldn't be able to focus on her training again.

Her breath caught as she stepped away from Song and Rei, hearing Song's reassuring words to Rei only superficially, failing to understand their meaning as she took her seat. She would help comfort Rei too shortly, just after she read the letter… but she couldn't put it off. She couldn't waste another second, even if her trembling hands would make it difficult to understand his handwriting…

There was, of course, a chance that she might be mistaken. That this might not be him. That it truly might be a message by Zhao, somehow, even if it made no sense for that to be the case, even if it made so much more sense to think it was Sokka's, the opportunist he was… even in the past, if he found any chances, any possibilities to hold her, to kiss her or even make love to her, he wouldn't waste them. This was perfectly in line with who he was… even if the belief that he had done something so risky and bold threatened to break Azula to pieces before reading the first word.

He knew more about her circumstances now than before. He had to know to which extent she had betrayed him. He had to understand so much she hadn't been able to explain in their brief connections… would he rebuke her for her mistakes? Would he condemn her for them? Was this going to be an announcement of his intent to take the battle to the end, no matter where she stood in the conflict between Sokka and her father, good or evil, balance or chaos?

Her breathing trembled just as much as her hands did: she began unfolding the scroll… and just as Aonu had told her, the header spoke for itself regarding who was meant to receive this letter.

The handwriting, too, told her exactly who had written it.

A choked sob broke out of her throat as she dropped the letter on her lap, covering her mouth with a hand as tears spilled from her eyes. Fool… why was she wasting time? Why would she fail to spread that letter in full, to bask entirely in every single word he had deigned to write to her? How could she be so stupid…?

"Azula?" Song's voice drifted towards her. The Princess shook her head.

"I… I'll explain later," she managed to say, with her broken voice. Song's concern didn't diminish with that, but she had no chance to reach out to Azula when Hotaru whimpered in her arms.

"Oh, dear. Too much going on, too fast…" Song gritted her teeth, rocking Hotaru gently… and Rei as well, if by accident. "Uh, sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"It's… it's good. It's better, even," Rei managed to say, sniffing and hugging Song and Hotaru. "We can rock her together."

"Well, if you say so…" Song sighed, hugging Rei tightly as the two of them swayed from side to side, calming Hotaru – the child seemed to be restless, even if she had eaten shortly before her mother began her training. Whatever was wrong with her, they'd likely figure it out after Azula was done reading that letter…

Azula breathed with difficulty, calming herself as best she could. It was him… and he was as bold, as clever as ever. Naturally, any messages found on Zhao, addressed to 'his wife' would be assumed to be meant for Azula… but he had dared send it written in Water Tribe parchment, knowing the message might be intercepted before it reached her. Perhaps it was more complicated than she realized, perhaps he had anticipated the interception and written, instead, some menacing letter against Ozai… she shook her head: there was no point in elaborating or imagining wild scenarios when the message was right there, sitting before her, ready to be read.

She drew in deep breaths. Once her racing heart seemed strong enough, she unfolded the scroll.

To my wife.

It's hard to believe I'm actually doing this. I'm sure you think I've lost my mind. I shouldn't be risking your safety by reaching out to you, I know. But after everything that's happened, perhaps precisely because of everything we've been through, I couldn't waste this chance to send this letter in the hopes that it would reach you, somehow. It's my mistake if it never finds its way to your hands, but I'll hope that whoever finds it will ensure to give it to you.

I feel I should clarify my intent, regardless of who reads this letter: I didn't organize the return of the dead that Aang retrieved from the battlefield just for the sake of sending this message to you. The idea to write it only struck me after I'd settled on returning the many soldiers who died that day. I wish I could have done that for the casualties from Ba Sing Se as well. I wish I could have done it in the Southern Water Tribe. Even so, none of the massacres I've witnessed has ever been quite as steep as this one.

War is not the fantasy I imagined as a child. This isn't news, of course: I knew that, on an intellectual level, since my teenage years. I understood it deep in my soul after you first took me from the south. For every person who cheers me on and calls me a hero, there are just as many who see in me the monster your father has represented for people all across the world. After this battle, I struggle to see things clearly. After finding Zhen's body, after understanding that I'm responsible for the death of Huiwen's father, I feel lost. I feel weak. I feel like I'm betraying everyone who ever thought I was worth anything in the Fire Nation… I feel like I'm betraying you, even when I continue to fight to save you and set you free. But could you ever be free when I'm responsible for so much destruction? When so many are bound to think that, if my main motivation is to return to you, it means that you, too, share the blame in the countless deaths I've left in my wake?

Azula shuddered, lowering the parchment as tears spilled down her face. An irrational, reckless, foolish part of her simply rejoiced in reading this text in his handwriting… in knowing, without a shred of a doubt, that it was written by the man she loved. It was no ethereal connection, no second-hand information conveyed by her father's people… it was him. There was no intermediary between them aside from the paper and ink with which he had written his thoughts.

The severity of his actions weighed heavily on him. He understood how hard it would be to follow his chosen path to the very end. He wasn't acting recklessly, with no regard for the consequences… she knew he wouldn't be. He had made the choices with eyes wide open, deciding they would be worth it. He had chosen to become the scourge of the Fire Nation even if countless of his old friends and loved ones might feel anguished, betrayed, over his choices… and the general populace, the people who had admired him profoundly, just might see him that way, too. The people who looked up to him, who hardly knew him and yet believed wholeheartedly in him. People like Huiwen.

Azula clutched her chest, hunching over herself as tears spilled down her cheeks: Zhen was dead, too. The boy's father… the child Sokka had taught the way of the sword to, in hopes of helping her establish friendly relations with people in positions of power throughout her crusade to change the Fire Nation for the better. Zhen had died, he was part of the Air Force that had been annihilated on that day… and of course, Sokka held himself responsible. He knew, too, that she'd hold herself at fault as well.

She breathed again, stilling herself before focusing once more. There was much more left… she had to keep reading.

I write this message for many reasons. One of them is to ask you not to blame yourself: I didn't walk this path blindly. Having made that choice hurts, particularly now. But I knew that the cost of ending this war, if done through violence, would be as steep as it has been thus far. You told me to stay put. To live out my life with my family, safe and away from harm. I failed to live up to that hope. I failed… because I needed you far more than I needed safety and peace. And that certainly makes me a monster, considering how selfish it was of me to sentence the world to so much grief through the choices I've made.

I don't know how I'll ever recover from this. I don't know if you will, either. Nothing is ever going to be exactly as it used to be. The leisurely days, in which our greatest concern was hiding what we meant to each other from the world, are gone. But those leisurely days are, even now, what keeps me going. Your heart keeps mine beating. You're still my every sunrise and my guiding light. If, to this day, I'm still your inner flame and your gold fire, then perhaps there's hope that we'll find a solution. That we'll be able to work through the chaos of the past year and find a way to end the despicable cycles of hatred our nations have been stuck in for well over a century.

But if I've gone too far, I'm sorry. If you cannot love me anymore because of who I've become, I understand that too. We did make a promise. We did vow to never force the other to choose between our love and our nations. I never meant for matters to come to this. I know you didn't, either. But these are the lives we have to live. These are the consequences we must endure. They're devastating, I can't lie. The very thought that you might not be there, once this journey is over… that you might choose to break our joined destiny and walk your own path, away from mine? Just imagining that possibility almost brings me down to my knees in helplessness. But after everything I've done… I can't pretend I wouldn't deserve it if that were your ultimate choice.

Azula snarled, shaking her head: how could he still be infuriating, even through a damn letter? How dared he pretend she could ever want anything but him? How could he believe he was the monster, when she was the one who had betrayed him? When she was responsible for so much of the pain he had been forced to face?

"You haven't changed one bit, you idiot…" she whispered, with a thread of a voice, gripping the parchment with unsteady hands.

If there was any reason to pull away from him, it would be her own crimes, her own sins, the ones that rendered her unworthy of him. He couldn't be so uninformed as to not know… no, there was no way he didn't know of her betrayals, especially when he had captured War Minister Qin. Her heart sank at the realization, and she nearly refused to keep reading… but she steeled herself, breathing deeply as she carried on with the next paragraphs.

This being said… I know you. I know you're bound to be going through a similar thought process to mine, because we're far more similar than we should be when it comes to blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong. I already know you've been forced to make choices that I'm sure you'll never forgive yourself for, Azula. Choices that might just make you believe you're unworthy of me.

She had to snort upon reading those words: of course he knew she'd think so. Just as she knew him too well, he knew her just as much. It was twisted, she supposed, to rejoice in this strange manner of intimacy with him when the situation was as dire as it was… but her heart sang in bliss even as she wished she could have a conversation with him directly, rather than reading his thoughts on a letter…

I won't pretend I wasn't shocked. When I first learned of your marriage to Zhao, I was almost torn apart by rage and anguish: of course, I should have known that your father wouldn't fulfill his promises. But after we captured War Minister Qin, I learned far more than I knew before: you had taken in Zhao's daughter, adopted her, he said. If it's true… well, I'm sure you've been a splendid mother to her. I doubt it means anything if I say it now… but I am sorry for what she's lost. I wish his fate could have been different, if just to spare her any pain, if she loved him at all. Considering what a bastard he was on that day, as well as the kinds of things he said, I wouldn't be too surprised if she didn't. But even if it's callous of me, when I am indeed responsible for so many terrible things, I am sorry for her loss. I wish it had never come to this.

He didn't even know Rei, he had never met her… and yet he found it in him to feel compassion and empathy towards Azula's daughter. He was sorry for Zhao's death, then, if only for Rei's sake… Azula couldn't help but feel the same way.

The truth is, I don't know what happened to him. I don't know what came over him. If he was anything like that around you, then I can't help but regret – and may your daughter forgive me for saying so – that I couldn't kill him myself. I did try. In fact, I'd argue that I succeeded more than once, nonsensical as I'm sure it might sound to you right now. I can't truly explain it on a letter, though. To put it simply, he sought to make the most of Hahn's information, and he nearly destroyed the world as we know it in the process. He carried out a brutal siege, one that was far more effective than ever before, with the airships and their new weapons. I faced him recklessly. Maybe I shouldn't have. All I could think about was avenging the harm he'd brought against you, against the Water Tribe, all of it. I failed, though. I tried to climb aboard his airship before he could escape, and I wound up dropping from the worst heights I've ever fallen. Good thing I'm so thickheaded, even now. I took a lot of damage that the Water Tribe's healers have miraculously managed to reverse. I'm not fully healed yet, as I write this letter, but they believe I will be before long.

Zhao's airship, however, lined up to unleash its weapon's attack on me. I thought I would die. For the first time since that day, I thought I would die. I couldn't help but think of you, regretting that I had failed to fulfill my purpose to come back to you. Aang, however, intervened before I burned in that inferno. He bent the fire back into the airship somehow… I think he accessed the Avatar State to do it. He's absolutely broken up by what he's done. It goes against his every belief. He saved me… and as usual, the question to be asked is at what cost. So much of the Water Tribe has been damaged, perhaps irreparably. So many lives were wasted. Even when they will attempt to move on, for that's all they have left to do, I can't stop thinking of how much they've lost. The same is true for Aang. If we had arrived merely a few days earlier, the bloodshed could have been prevented.

As a result, both sides have lost more than they'll ever be able to regain. We don't know the exact numbers of casualties on either side. We probably never will. You said it once: who could pretend to be the victorious party after a hundred years of war? I lived that truth directly that day. The Fire Nation lost… but so did the Water Tribe.

I know you've helped your father choose the course of the Fire Nation's newest approach to fighting the Hundred Year War.

Azula gritted her teeth: her heart sank so badly she almost wanted to toss aside the letter and forget her own existence, even hope for death to take her… all be it so Sokka would never be hurt by her appalling, selfish choices ever again. But she had done what she had… and he knew it. How he had written this letter to her with so much kindness, while aware of her unforgivable choices, she didn't know.

The War Minister didn't share enough information for my tastes, but he said plenty: you were with child, and your dragon was chained and held hostage by your father. Both those factors should have been enough to explain why you could direct your father to the Northern Air Temple, and then to the Northern Water Tribe. At first, I was aghast… but after that initial shock, I realized you're attempting to protect them, aren't you? You're saving all the people whose lives might be at risk if you refuse to cooperate with Ozai… including Xin Long and Hotaru. That's why you've done this. That's why you can't stop now. That's the true reason why, in the eyes of the world, you and I would become enemies.

I would never fight you, not in this way. I would never let anyone bring you harm, either. I've never lied or pretended that my purposes are different from what they are: I want to save you. Jeong Jeong, the miserable asshole, knows as much. I'm afraid the White Lotus leadership is no better than what we imagined. But ironically, as bad as he may be, nothing is quite as poisonous, as vexing, as being anywhere near Iroh. He's quite as apologetic as you'd expect from the bastard: I've never let his sad, manipulative act affect me in the least. My resentment towards him won't go away. I don't even care to work my way out of it… he doesn't deserve to be forgiven, not even if I'd rather not waste more time of my life despising him.

But after striking alliances with people like those two, I've found that I can't be too upset by your choices. You joined Ozai… but you were always his loyal daughter, weren't you? You never had it in you to fight openly against him. And I never held that against you, I always understood it… but I suppose it felt different after everything he's done to us both. You should be able to break free from him. I want to give you that chance. But I also know that it's possible that you'll make a different choice than I want you to, if it comes to that. You won't want your father dead. You don't know how to hate him the way I do. And I don't know how to end his tyranny without becoming the object of your hatred, should I kill him myself.

She needed another break. Azula gritted her teeth, unable to keep reading with her eyes so flooded with tears. Curse him for being quite so insightful, so smart… for reading through her with such ease. Where she weaponized her knowledge and understanding of him for her father's purposes, Sokka used his own understanding of her to comfort her. To reassure her. And to think he'd claim he was selfish… surely the world would see him that way, but Azula knew better. He was entirely mad for showing her so much compassion, even now, after everything she'd done. Her heavy heart seemed lighter, for he didn't seem to hate her for what she'd done… and yet her guilt permeated her powerfully: he should hate her. He should resent her. He shouldn't be so kind, so understanding… no one with sense would be, after facing so many kinds of betrayals by the woman he loved. Sokka was different, of course… Sokka had always been an extraordinary man. He certainly loved her too much… so much more than she deserved. She breathed deeply, wiping her eyes and stilling herself once more before returning to the letter:

Everything is terribly complicated, isn't it? To think things felt difficult before… but becoming the gladiator of the woman who took me from my tribe was surprisingly simple compared to everything that's happening now. More than anything, though… the biggest hardship I face right now is how badly, how desperately I miss you. It hurts every time I learn of a new choice you've made that hinders my progress, that stands against me… doesn't matter if I can rationalize it, doesn't matter if I know why you've done it, it devastates me without fail. I'm a fool for that… but hearts are fickle and reckless. They don't listen to reason. It's why I'm in such pain… it's why, no matter if you stood before me now and swore off me for good, sending me away from you for my terrible choices, I'd walk away knowing that I'll never stop loving you. Nothing in the world can ever change that.

In the end, that's the main thing I needed you to know. Even if you deem me unworthy of holding these feelings for you, if you believe I've burned every bridge between us, it doesn't change the mandate of my heart. It doesn't change that it beats for you. I hold your necklace every night and I beg the universe that I'll see you in my dreams. Every day spent recovering, waiting, preparing my next move, is a day I grieve over how badly I need to be near you again. To think we've as good as spent a whole year apart, Azula… the very concept is unthinkable. I could barely survive a day without you. You mocked me for it many times, didn't you? Even when you didn't, you would tell me I needed to learn to live without you, or so… turns out I haven't, believe it or not, even after a year. I can't shake off this anxiety. I can't shake off the fear of failure. I can't put aside my dread that I won't ever see you again. I don't even know if there's a future for us anymore, my love… but if there isn't, I will fight fate for every day I have left to build us one, no matter what obstacles it might yet throw in my way. Well, provided you still want me, as usual. I know I can't imagine the day when I won't want you.

If it helps… you have a place in the Southern Water Tribe, should you want it. There's so much I should be able to share, but I'll run out of parchment at this rate. Believe it or not, you've become the Tribe's hero in many ways. You're your niece's hero, in particular. I can barely wait to explain why… I hope I'll be able to do it soon. Even if the Fire Nation never accepted us, the Water Tribe would. Even if you think there's no chance they'd want you, I've seen for myself by now that they would. I don't know what the world will look like once everything's said and done… but I can offer this to you, at the very least. You would be safe and loved… and I'm sure so would be everyone you care for, if they wanted to come too. Might be tricky to build igloos for everyone, but it could be fun, huh?

Alright, alright… I can already imagine you rolling your eyes and saying I'm talking nonsense. And that I'm rambling, just when I said I'd run out of space. Damn it. I just miss you. There's so much I need to say. So much I need to show you. And yet every time the reality of what I'm doing sinks in, all those hopes seem to dwindle as I wonder if you'll ever want those things with me again. I know you did, once. If your heart hasn't changed… then I hope you still want this. I hope you still want me. I hope there can be something promising in our future, more in store than just the war that still assails and destroys our world. The truth is, my love… it will end. I don't know on which terms, I don't know how devastating its conclusion will be, but I do know that I can't afford to stop. I know that my allies won't allow me to stop either, even on days when I want nothing but to curl up and cry for weeks as I waste away in my own misery. I have to keep going, Azula. I have to keep fighting until the end. I don't know what will be left of me by then. I don't know what kind of man I'll have to become in order to bring this war to its long-overdue conclusion. I don't know how far I still need to go, or how many more boundaries need to be pushed, how many more sacrifices need to be made… but I will see them done. I won't stop until it's over.

Even if I were to fail, and after what happened in the Northern Water Tribe, it certainly looks like I could, my allies will keep going. I've pushed them forward enough that the tide is unstoppable now. Even if I faltered or fell, the world will be free one day. Your father's days on the throne are numbered. It's up to him to decide how he'll end his rule: either he surrenders and steps aside so a new world can be born… or he will have to pay the ultimate price, only for that world to be born regardless of his wishes. My hatred for him knows no boundaries… but I don't want to shed more blood. You know I don't.

Please, tell him to surrender. Tell him to stop. Tell him it's pointless. Tell him he'll be allowed to live, should he give up the fight. I don't even care if he survives as long as you're free, love. I don't need revenge nearly as much as I need you. I'll forsake all such notions immediately if I had to choose between the two of you. He has a simple choice to make: either he immolates his entire nation in order to prove himself the spineless Fire Lord I've always taken him for, or he chooses to end this pointless war. This is the choice I've granted everyone I've faced on the battlefield: this is probably the only time I'll be offering it to him, in the wake of the horrors I've seen after the last months of fighting. If he steps aside, there will be no more war and bloodshed. Please, get through to him. Reason with him. Make him open his eyes, Azula. If anyone has a chance to do that, it's you.

If you can't, I understand too. If there's no changing his mind… know that I'll ride out into the world regardless, once the time is right. I can't now, not when I'm still recovering, as is Zuko… he took a pretty bad wound. He's alive, but he hasn't come back to consciousness yet. We're worried, but the healers say it's a matter of time and willpower before he does – and as much as he has changed, your brother is still a strong-willed guy. He'll get through this. But the Water Tribe's recovery will take time, and I can't do anything until they're ready. Once they are, though… I'll go, Azula. I'll set out to the Fire Nation once more. I will come to you. I will see you again. I will set you free, even if you don't want me to do that. I will meet Hotaru, too. I will hold the two of you, and I'll never let go of you again, come what may. The world won't get in the way again. I know it won't.

There's one more thing I should say: War Minister Qin happened to share that your midwife is some mysterious niece of your former advisors: Niece Wen. If my guess about who she is happens to be correct… then I thank the universe that she's there with you. I was terrified that you'd be alone, but if she's there, that's at least one small respite, even if it means she's too close to the line of Ozai's fire too. I'm sure that, if he pisses her off, she'll be scary enough to make him shit himself, though… I hope so, anyway. Her mother is safe, by the way. So is her fiancé. Him and his friends stand with me now. I know that might come as no relief for you… but it might be good for you to know they escaped the Fire Nation's reach. Maybe we'll fulfill our old promise still, huh? Maybe we'll be able to share another meal, the four of us, once again. Guess we might be more than four people by the time we can meet again… but you know what I mean, right? Of course you do.

Hell, this stupid parchment should be longer. They told me it was the biggest one they had. I don't buy it. This is frustrating. Everything is without you. I wish you could answer, but I know that's impossible. I settle for believing, for hoping, that you'll be able to read this letter and know that I'm still thinking of you, across every single day of this miserable life without you. I won't ever stop longing for you. My energy resonates with yours still. I feel you deep inside me, underneath my skin, in my heart and soul. I don't know if you feel me the same way… but I can only hope so. I can only hope that I'll see you in my dreams again. That soon, those dreams will become reality once I hold you in my arms again. The one hope that keeps me afloat, amid all this darkness, is that I'll be returning to your light one day.

Stay strong. Fuck this parchment for running out so fast. How's it done already? Fuck.

I love you. I'll always love you. Don't forget that, no matter what comes next.

She covered her face in her hands as she wept. The scroll, fully unfurled, had run out. His final words were almost squished against the bottom, his handwriting smaller to ensure everything would fit within the parchment. Her heart felt so raw, her body exhausted even though she hadn't burned out her endurance that badly during training…

She had a place in the Water Tribe. Rui Shi was with him. Her brother had been wounded. Sokka would spare her father if he had to choose between revenge and saving her. He hated himself for joining forces with the White Lotus, just as she had suspected he would.

Her heart pounded so painfully, her energy as good as singing for him, longing for more of his words, for something greater than that: she needed him so much more desperately than she had wanted to accept. Adapting to a life without him hadn't been impossible… regardless of what he said, he wouldn't have come this far if it had been impossible for him, too. Even if he longed to return to her, her absence hadn't crippled him to the point of being rendered helpless, or useless…

But this direct contact, this proof of the truths she had been clinging to helplessly across a year, shook her heart deeply. He had wanted to talk some more, to share more… there was so much she could have shared with him too, that she would have told him if she had the chance. But even their ephemeral spiritual connections, whenever they took place, tended to end far too quickly. Until they were face to face, she wouldn't be able to share enough with him…

But that notion, too, was terrifying. Sokka seemed to understand her thought process so easily, so clearly… but he didn't likely know or account for the kind of horrors that might be her responsibility in the future: the war wasn't over yet. With Zhao gone, Ozai would have expectations of his daughter… and if she failed to fulfill them, everything she had done so far would have been in vain.

She breathed heavily, trying to still herself as she brushed the tears away. Aang… that had to be the Avatar. The name was suitable for an Air Nomad. He was torn up about what he'd done, then? The massacre of the Fire Nation forces hadn't been a deliberate choice, but a desperate one. He had saved Sokka by it… she gritted her teeth, knowing she should not be thankful for Sokka's survival in the middle of such a tragedy, but knowing the Avatar had done it to save Sokka certainly complicated matters further in her heart.

She'd read it again later. She'd likely read it a thousand times, even… no matter how unwieldy the scroll had become the further she unfolded it, she'd cherish every single word he had written for her. Even if it made her a traitor to her nation, her heart longed for the man she loved far too intensely to set aside those feelings just for the Fire Nation's sake.

One last calming breath, and she rolled the scroll back unto itself. Once she fastened it, she rose to her feet: she was still trembling, and try as though she might, tears continued to escape from her eyes… she wiped them hastily with the back of her hand, knowing her companions were watching her. She breathed out as she marched up to them, intent on taking her restless daughter into her arms.

"I don't know what's bothering her…" Song said, as Azula sat by her side, cradling Hotaru quickly. The baby made soft noises as her small hands poked about at her mother, led mainly by curiosity, it seemed.

"It's okay. I'll take care of her now… I'll stop training for the day. I can't really… can't focus anymore," Azula said, gritting her teeth.

"What's in the scroll?" Song asked. Azula breathed heavily, tears blooming in her eyes again at so much as the thought of admitting the truth.

"It's… it's him."

Song's eyes widened. Rei, still distraught, froze and glanced at her mother in shock as Azula's trembling hand offered the scroll to her friend. Song nearly yelped as she pulled it open: she recognized Sokka's handwriting just as quickly as Azula had. It was her turn to tremble, for her hands to cover her mouth as she looked at Azula in shock…

"Rui Shi… is with him," Azula said. Song shuddered, shaking her head in disbelief before picking up the letter. "And all our encounters… all our spiritual encounters were true. I… I didn't imagine any of it. I didn't…"

"Did he… did he say so?" Rei asked, eyes wide. "Did he…?"

"He knows her name. Hotaru's name," Azula said, swallowing hard. "He called me… his every sunrise. His guiding light. He had never said those words… other than when we saw each other spiritually, that night. So…"

"So… your spiritual connection is real," Rei said, with a small smile. Azula swallowed hard and nodded. "I'm glad…"

Song frantically searched through the letter until she finally found, near the final paragraphs, Sokka's acknowledgement of who hid behind the persona of Niece Wen. Her mother was safe… her fiancé, too. She whimpered, tears blooming in her eyes as well, and this time it was Rei who hugged her as Song bent over herself, tears escaping from her eyes.

"He's… t-they're all okay…!" she gasped.

"Rui Shi is…?" Rei said, reading the letter lightly. She smiled, hugging Song tighter. "I'm glad…"

Rei's kindness and generosity, the fact that she could rejoice quietly with them over this message from the man who even held himself responsible for her father's death, struck Azula's heart painfully. Sokka knew about her… even if he had grown to hate Zhao as deeply as he did by the time of the man's death, he understood the harm he had inflicted upon Azula's daughter by killing Zhao.

The Princess breathed deeply, standing up with Hotaru and taking her seat, instead, by Rei's side. The girl smiled sadly at her: she still had tears of her own blinking in the corners of her eyes, and Azula embraced both Rei and Hotaru tightly.

"I'm sorry, Rei," she whispered. Rei swallowed hard, trying to stop the tears from coming back.

"You'd told me already… I knew what to expect. Doesn't make it easy…" she admitted, with a soft sniff. "But I know… I know you didn't mean for it to happen. I trust you, as I've always trusted you."

"I'm grateful for that…" Azula said, gritting her teeth. "But I didn't mean for you to face pain of any sort. Let alone of this sort…"

"W-well… he hurt me more than you ever have," Rei said, with a sad smile. "I cared about him anyway. He was my father. He saved me, when he did… but he didn't know how to be a father. He didn't try to figure it out, either. I just wish I could've… could've said goodbye properly. Could've talked to him for once, and… and gotten through to him somehow. I wanted to be as brave as you. But I don't know how, and… and it's too late now. But… it's not your fault. It's not…"

"It's not yours either that you couldn't say goodbye properly," Azula said, breathing deeply.

"Yeah… I know it wasn't," Rei nodded.

"He… he'll be given to a funerary pyre soon, likely tomorrow. If you don't want to, it's okay if you don't come," Azula said, but Rei shook her head.

"I'll go. I… I need to see it. But… but maybe you shouldn't think about this. You shouldn't be comforting me if… if Sokka sent word to you," Rei said, with a sad smile. "I'm sure… I'm sure he misses you a lot."

"Rei…" Azula said, as Rei pulled back, wiping her tears with a hand.

"I don't… I don't hate him. I don't know if he did it or not, but… I don't hate him," Rei said, shivering. "It's… it's what war is like, right? You kill… or you die. And my father killed many, didn't he?"

"He did," Azula said. Rei breathed deeply and nodded. "Sokka… he's sorry for it. For your father's death."

Rei's eyes widened. She raised her gaze towards Azula, who cupped her cheek gently.

"He knows about you. War Minister Qin told him," Azula said. Rei's jaw dropped. "He… he said he was sorry. You don't have to forgive him… you don't have to hold back if you have any dark feelings on the matter, Rei. He'd understand… just as I understand. If you think I'm responsible, if only slightly, for his fate…"

"I don't," Rei said, shaking her head. "And I… I don't want to blame Sokka, either. I… I know he means so much to you. I know you love him. I know… I know you wouldn't feel that way unless he was a good man, good enough to match you. So… I believe him, just as I believe you."

Azula sighed, tightening her embrace around Rei as Song continued to read the letter frantically, eyes raking the text at vertiginous speed: she had already found the confirmation that Rui Shi was with Sokka, but the rest of the message was important, too. Knowing he had a chance to write this, that he had gotten away with doing so, regardless of the many allies he had around him at all times…

It was yet another sign of how powerful Sokka had become. Of how much authority he wielded in his army, of how respected he was. Had he told his people that he would convince Azula to join him? That messages sent to her weren't treacherous? Or had he done this without their awareness? It seemed unlikely, considering the parchment had to have come from the Northern Water Tribe… they wouldn't have granted it to him if they found his purpose for it to be unacceptable, would they?

There was so much worth unraveling about the information he had given them, so much to think about, and the Agni Kai Arena wasn't the best place for it. Hence, they returned to Azula's room shortly afterwards: Song as good as dissected every single paragraph of the letter once they reached the room, pacing back and forth as she pondered every possibility, every word. Azula held Hotaru, easing her restlessness with light rocking while Rei sat on the bed, holding the letter whenever Song didn't come back to check more of it.

"He knows exactly what's going on, though! He sees so clearly through you, it's incredible, isn't it?" Song said, smiling at Azula. "You were worried that he might not know, but damn it, he knows you too well. He knows exactly what's going on…!"

"He knows I exist, too," Rei said, with a small smile. Azula smiled more earnestly at her. "I… I didn't think he would have."

"He did learn about you at least during Hahn's conflict with Zhao," Azula explained. "But I guess we owe a lot to War Minister Qin for running his mouth as he did. Feels like he really didn't keep a single secret…"

"But we will have to," Song said, slowing down and glancing at Azula. "The letter… we should hide it with all the papers you wanted to keep safe. If the Fire Lord realizes you received that…"

"He'll throw another of his tantrums, of course. I'll be careful," Azula said, stroking Hotaru's hair gently as the child languished quietly on her lap, unaffected entirely by the strange emotional mood in the bedroom. "He'd think Aonu is a traitor, too, for giving it to me. I won't risk that. I just… I just don't want to put it away yet. It's him, after all… I never thought he'd be able to do anything like this. And honestly, at this point I really was convinced I'd hallucinated our spiritual encounters…"

"Now you know you were wrong," Song said, with a gentle smile.

Azula breathed in heavily, looking at the scroll once more: he had to be deeply troubled, and she wasn't much better off, considering how emotional she had been upon reading his message… but her foolish, weak heart rejoiced regardless. Reading those words, his repeated love confessions, his earnest, true purpose… what had happened in the north was devastating. What might happen later wouldn't be any better, surely. But Sokka still believed in changing the world for the better. The question was whether or not that change would bring the outcome he was pursuing…

And the question, too, was whether Azula would continue to be worth saving in his eyes.

Song and Rei fell asleep after dinner. Ever since Hotaru's birth, the two had relocated as good as permanently to Azula's room, sleeping in their respective futons, positioned right over the plain rug they hadn't painted just yet.

Azula should have been in bed too, but Sokka's letter continued to dominate her every present thought. It would have done so even if Hotaru had cooperated and gone to sleep… but it seemed her daughter was on a whimsical spree as of late.

"I wonder if you have any clue of what's wrong with your terribly emotional mother," Azula said, stroking the girl's hair as the child poked at her clothes again, letting out soft sounds as she looked at Azula intently. "Oh, Hotaru… he knows about you. He wants to come back as soon as he can and hold us both. Aren't you lucky to have such a loving father?"

Azula smiled… and so did Hotaru. The Princess's grin strengthened over the sight of that expression on her daughter's face: surely she was only mimicking what she could see, but she wanted to believe, instead, that her daughter was genuinely excited over the prospect of one day meeting her father.

"I… I don't know, though, if things will work out as well as I wish they would," Azula confessed, stroking Hotaru's hair delicately. "I don't know what I'll have to do in the future, my dear. He's done terrible, painful things… I might have to do my own share of them, too. But he'll fight his hardest to come to you… so, even if I faltered, even if I failed you, I swear you'll have him. I swear he will be the greatest father anyone could possibly imagine. He'll come home to you, Hotaru… to us, if it's possible. If… if I'm still worth it."

Sokka's compassion was far too great, she didn't need anyone to tell her as much, for she had seen it for herself enough times. He was coming home to them… but he would likely shrug off any notions of what a monster Azula might have to become by the time he reached his family. Would it be right? Would it be fair? Was she allowed to turn a blind eye on her own crimes, on his, and simply bask in their happiness…?

"Who the hell knows, huh…?" Azula said, with a sigh. "At any rate, you little restless firefly… you've been awake for much longer than you usually are. Time to go to bed, isn't it?"

Hotaru, however, appeared most uninclined to do so. Azula laughed softly, shaking her head before lifting the girl into her arms. She climbed off the bed, pacing through the room and rocking her softly: she thought that would help, but instead, Hotaru seemed to grow more active over the supposedly relaxing motions of her mother.

"Maybe hearing from your father has triggered all the things you have in common with him, huh?" Azula smiled. "So energetic suddenly… he hated resting when he could be up to other things, you know? Though he could be ridiculously lazy too, whenever it suited him… he was a delightful contradiction that way. I wonder if you are one, too. I wonder if I could find a way to calm you that would've worked on him, too…"

She frowned, pondering the matter, though her mind shifted back to the same thoughts that troubled her soon enough. She bit her lip as she approached the window, soothing her active daughter by hugging her snugly over her chest.

"I'll probably stop rejoicing over all this soon enough, huh?" Azula said. "It'll look a lot less exciting once reality catches up with me again. What he's doing is no laughing matter… countless people will be hurt by it. People we care about… like Captain Zhen's son, Huiwen. Like Rei. But it will also hurt people we barely know, whose lives will change forever due to the sacrifices of those they lost in the war. I can't turn a blind eye on that, or feign ignorance… but at the same time, I know he's doing the right thing. I know no one is better suited to do it than him. It's twisted, I guess, that it feels like our paths in life have built us up so that we could be ready for what's in store still… so we could see to the end of this war. But I cannot stand by his side… just as he can't stand by mine."

She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head. A pair of small hands touched her face, and Azula smiled at the feeling.

"Even so… I guess it's the first time in a year that I'm allowing myself to feel hope. As mistaken as I might be to feel it at all," she said. "So… perhaps I should try to think of the future. Of a possibility where you, your father and I won't be torn apart ever again. It won't happen yet… but maybe one day. Maybe… maybe one day the darkness will truly fade away. Maybe it's not my light he reaches for… but yours."

Azula smiled kindly at her daughter just as she thought of one idea to soothe Hotaru. She took a deep breath and the words of an old song, one Sokka had caught her singing once before, as she carelessly groomed Xin Long's messy mane, came back to her smoothly.

The sound of her singing voice didn't startle Hotaru, but she seemed intrigued upon hearing her mother using her voice differently. The words would be unintelligible for the child, but Azula hoped Hotaru would still be able to come into touch with emotions she had never experienced, so young as she was, through the sound of her voice.

A song of hope poured from her lips as she carried the child towards the window. As she let herself glance past it, across the night sky, her heart racing at the thought of the man who was out there, gathering his strength to come back to them, to stand by their side…

The darkness of that night was strangely comforting, for it promised a new dawn. The comforting presence of her daughter, of the familiar lyrics of the long-memorized song, eased her troubled heart. And in the midst of such a strange sensation, a voice seemed to join hers… a voice that brought a smile to her face: Xin Long had joined her, in her mind, with his draconic voice, attempting to keep up with her melody. Their harmonies, of course, weren't as smooth as they should have been, but they didn't need to be. Hotaru's soft voice also followed, as she cooed as though to join them in singing. The song had taken her by surprise, but by her reaction, she seemed to rather enjoy it.

Azula raised her higher once she finished the song, pressing a soft kiss upon her daughter's brow. Hotaru's restlessness hadn't changed in the slightest: it seemed, however, that she wanted to channel it towards singing again. And so, Azula obliged.

She sat by the window, singing for hours, it seemed, until Hotaru fell asleep, soothed eventually by her mother's music. Azula closed her eyes, sending a deep, heartfelt thank you to her dragon – his response was a soft chuckle, as well as his own warmth as he ushered her to embrace what few moments of respite she could find. The war was not over yet, much more strife and grief surely waited around the corner… but Sokka remained as faithfully hers as he ever had been. His heart belonged to her, just as Xin Long's did: the Gladiator would come back soon, and when he did, he would set them free.

It was irresponsible of her to indulge in such hopes. To let herself believe she could simply wait and stand on the sidelines as chaos unfolded upon her nation. When it came down to it… she wouldn't stand aside to allow such a thing. Everyone knew she wouldn't. But for that night, wistful as it was, she let herself dream of him. She allowed herself to imagine she was in his arms, while Hotaru rested in hers. She envisioned Xin Long, too, free to wrap around them with his long, warm body. If there truly could be a future for them, then she would let herself dream of it on the days when her heart was not as torn up, when her guilt didn't overpower her. On the days when Sokka, distant as he might be, offered her the comfort she direly needed to find in the man who loved her as desperately and unconditionally as he did.

Holding his necklace, much like he swore he held hers, Azula brought Hotaru to the bed with her. She held her daughter kindly, carefully, relaxing into what might just be the very last placid night of rest she'd enjoy in the foreseeable future.

---

The sun rose, waking Princess Azula. Her heart, eased by the man she loved, grew heavy once again when the reality of that day's expectations dawned upon her.

Word had been spread in the Capital. An official announcement had been written and posted across the city. News of the lost battle in the North Pole had certainly darkened the spirits of many who had as good as forgotten the war continued… who had assumed their nation would never fail to be victorious.

Song stayed behind, in the tunnels, with Hotaru. Rei donned an outfit she had never worn before. Renkai and the Princess's new guards marched together with Azula and her daughter towards the Temple, where the curious and the mournful gathered already, most of them baffled by the shocking news that, once again, their nation's Crown Prince had fallen in a battle in which the Fire Nation had been indisputably defeated.

The white robes of those in mourning weren't too ornate. Even so, they were some of the most luxurious clothes Rei had ever worn. For once, it felt as though she truly were acknowledged, in full, as part of the Royal Family. She didn't know how to feel about that, not even as Princess Azula led her to stand next to her, right by the Fire Lord's side.

He often arrived at his leisure to such events. He hadn't done so this time. The gravity of the situation was unquestionable. He had seen to the preparation of Zhao's funerary pyre personally. He had been responsible for writing the public missive that revealed the truth of his friend's demise. Now, he stood solemnly at the right distance from the pyre, in somber silence, unable to give his eyes any credit at the sight of Zhao's lifeless body.

Rei winced as she recognized him, too. She clasped Azula's arm nervously, knowing she shouldn't behave like this in public, knowing she should show no weaknesses… but the Princess didn't shake her off, scold her, or told her to behave herself. Rei didn't expect her to. Instead, Azula clasped her hand gently, reassuring Rei through the gesture as best as she was able.

There might have been familiar faces in the crowd. It was possible that Mai and Ty Lee had come to witness the burning of Zhao's remains. Maybe the people who had formed that group to support Azula would be there too, including Mei Xun and Shoji. The Princess didn't glance about to recognize anyone. It wasn't the time or place to seek out friendly faces: her father was mourning his best friend, and her daughter was mourning her father. Azula's heart ached far more keenly for either of them than she could suffer for Zhao himself.

No one spoke. Only mumbles in the crowd cut across the silence at times, and they fell quiet quickly. The Head Sage and other senior sages began the ceremony before long, reading from the Book of Fire, then reciting Zhao's accomplishments before a crowd that appeared entirely unaffected upon hearing those words. Only Ozai's hands clenched into fists upon revisiting each of the campaigns he had sent Zhao on, as well as the more recent events he had forced upon him, such as the unwanted marriage to Azula.

Once the explanations were finished, the time came for the burning itself. Anxious and miserable as she had been, Rei grew even more restless once the firebenders stepped forward, wielding the purified flames that they cast upon Zhao's lifeless body.

A part of her, childish and foolish, thought he might awaken and sweep away the flames. That he might reject the fire and demand for respect. That he would turn towards her and accuse her of betraying him again… that he would have another argument with the Fire Lord, with Azula, with anyone…

She simply thought she'd hear his voice again. She thought to tell him she had never hated him. She simply wanted to ask him if he had ever truly wanted to be her father… if he would have tried harder, if she had just been a better daughter. Whoever was at fault, she didn't care… all she wanted was to start over. To change things. To beg her father to come back, even if he would never love her… for at least, if he lived, there would be another chance. If he lived, she might be able to do the right thing as his daughter. She might be able to stand up to him when need be, to talk to him without fear, to call him her father properly, rather than using only his title…

But the fire burned him. It caught his clothes. It caught his skin. Little by little, Zhao's body was given to the flames that consumed him.

Rei sobbed, unwilling to watch for another moment, unable to stop doing so all the same. After today, once she turned around, he would be gone. This was the last time she'd ever see him… this was it. Her father was well and truly gone.

No one else cried. Everyone else watched the burning of Zhao's body silently. Only Rei wept, amid hundreds of onlookers.

Her voice, as much as she tried to muffle it, reached the Fire Lord's ears. Azula could tell it did. Her hand gripped Rei's tightly, supporting her, standing between her and her father as she feared his reaction. She would defend Rei's right to grieve, in whatever way she needed to do so. If her father would scold her for crying, much as Azulon had scolded Azula for it when she had run to her father in tears as a child, then Azula would take a stand. She wouldn't let him obstruct the mourning of the only person in the world who truly had loved Zhao.

Unbeknownst to Azula, her father's feelings were much more complicated than that. He didn't feel comfortable with Rei's tears… but it was all the worse to realize that no one else wept. The Fire Nation was certainly meant to be strong, led by ruthless people, by those whose hearts were made of unyielding flames… but was this truly strength? Or was this indifference? Was Zhao's life this insignificant? Had he been quite so distant, so uninteresting, so aloof that the Fire Nation people, highborn and commoners alike, couldn't even spare a single, genuine tear for his sake?

Only Zhao's daughter wept. Only Zhao's daughter cared.

Ozai dared tear his eyes away from Zhao, glancing down at the girl. He found Azula's eyes instead: she seemed apprehensive, if not reproachful. His eyes, however, didn't grow harsher upon recognizing an unfavorable emotion in his daughter's.

Of course, he grieved him too. He didn't know how to cry, did he? He didn't know how to show that this death affected and afflicted him deeply. It took Azula a moment to realize as much, to understand how deeply disjointed her father's heart was. He wasn't bothered by Rei's tears… if anything, he was relieved by them. By the knowledge that someone else could cry… for he could not.

But there was more to it than that. There was a deeper, darker emotion permeating his gaze as he met hers. One he conveyed to her wordlessly, as Azula continued to hold her daughter's hand:

Zhao and Rei offered them a most disturbing mirror of their own fate.

Azula's heart sank at the vertiginous conclusion. Ozai's gaze, however, only softened. It was, indeed, a display of a future he would never witness. Once it was his own body on that pyre, no one would cry. No one would grieve. No one would mourn him… no one but the daughter he had failed, in even worse ways than Zhao had failed his own child.

Would she even cry? Would she think him worthy of her tears? After all the pain he had inflicted upon her… would she be able to cry and mourn him? He had done nothing to earn such a reaction. He had failed her. He had ruined her life. He had stolen her away from a man who was honorable enough to send their dead back to the Fire Nation so they could be granted a dignified send-off, something unthinkable from any other leader across these hundred years of war. If only they had never developed the relationship they had, if none of this had happened… Zhao would still live. And if he did, would either of them have become worthy fathers for their daughters? He rather doubted it.

Whatever came in the future, Ozai thought, as he turned towards the pyre again, he might be given to similar flames soon. The tide of war rushing in their direction would never be stemmed. And by then, his daughter might just grieve… whereas his long-lost wife might just believe he deserved no better fate than to burn into nothingness, much as Azula was bound to think that of Zhao.

Would Ursa cry? Would she ever grieve him, wherever she was, if she learned of his demise? Sometimes, he let himself believe she would. Sometimes, a part of his bleak heart would seem to awaken over thoughts of his estranged wife. And then reality would return… the gravity of his choices, of his crimes against their children, and he'd know she'd resent him without remorse. He had failed her… he had been a miserable husband, in the end, no matter how much he had prided himself on being better than Zhao. His greed, his need for power, had torn apart his own family. He had no one to blame for that but himself.

All he had left was Azula. His only heir… his only family. And even she would be better off without him.

The Princess could guess what her father was thinking. Her heart clenched at the thought… at the realization that, even after all this time, she hadn't changed for the better. She was as tied to her father's will as she ever had been… for the very thought of seeing him to his own pyre filled her with fear. Rei felt lost now, knowing Zhao was gone… Azula knew she'd fare no better if her father faded from the world. And the world certainly wouldn't miss him… she, of course, shouldn't miss him.

But how could she turn her back on him? How could she ever accept a fate as dark as the one Zhao had been engulfed by? How could she ever send her father off to the flames without fighting tooth and nail to ensure he survived, if just as a prisoner, if just to spend the rest of his life paying for the countless sins he was responsible for?

He had taught her loyalty. He had taught her strength of heart. He had taught her so many things… and it seemed everything had paid off in the worst of ways. For now that she knew exactly what kind of monster he was, now that she broke free from his creed, the one that believed attachments were a liability, the truth was that she cared for him. She feared for him. She wanted him to live on and make amends for the harm he had inflicted upon countless people… his death would be a closed door, just like Zhao's. There would be no second chances. There would be no hope.

But in every iteration of the future she could hope to envision, her father was absent. Fire Lord Ozai had no place in the world Sokka was fighting to build. Even if he had changed in the past months, even if he had developed the mercy he had often boasted of, but never truly felt, it didn't change that his previous crimes, his upholding of his forefathers' legacy, had sentenced him to oblivion from the get-go. Could there be a solution without his death? Could that ever be the case? Could she avoid being in Rei's shoes, witnessing as her own father was given to the powerfully burning flames that ate away at Zhao's corpse?

It was as though only the three of them stood there, side by side, watching the fire consume that body. As though only they could feel the deeper meaning of the funerary rite they were witnessing. As though, much as Sokka had said it on his letter, Fire Lord Ozai's days were numbered, and they were already witnessing the fate that awaited him once they ran out completely.

---

Song sighed as she waited in the tunnels. Hotaru was comfortably asleep in the basket next to her. The tunnel itself was as empty as ever. All she had to do was wait, sitting below the trapdoor, as the lamp near her allowed her to see her surroundings and read Sokka's letter again and again, as many times as possible, hoping to find a deeper meaning somewhere that might have escaped them so far…

Then, she heard the sound of the bedroom's door creaking open, upstairs.

Song frowned. She set down the scroll, glaring up at the trapdoor. Ever since they had begun this method of protection for Hotaru, Azula ensured that Song would bring Wolf's Bane with her into the tunnels, in case anything dangerous happened while she was absent. Song only knew the very basics of how to wield a sword… but she intended to use those techniques if need be: she doubted a Fire Nation funerary rite would end quite so quickly. She couldn't hear Rei or Azula's voices… the door closed again.

Soft, very quiet footsteps moved back and forth across the room. Her heart clenched, vertigo gripping her chest: it was a spy. She didn't know what kind of spy, she might not figure it out anytime soon, but someone was here to inspect the room in Azula's absence. Her guards weren't there: whoever had done this believed they'd find the room empty, or they had believed Song would be a quickly dismissed liability as they sought…

Hotaru.

Song clenched up, clasping the sword close to her chest once she realized the footsteps had stepped closer to Hotaru's crib. She shuddered as a protective rage she had been nursing for months reared its head powerfully…

The footsteps moved away, towards the second crib.

Then, they wandered towards the closet. They stepped away briefly afterwards, closing its door. The dining room was next. Lastly, the bathroom.

The person stood in the middle of the room after a while, right atop the rug. Song tried to make no noise… keeping her breathing as quiet as possible. Dread rose inside her as she feared Hotaru might just awaken now, and if she did, she sure hoped she wouldn't cry…

Slowly, the footsteps marched back towards the door. Song's clenched breath didn't release until, after what might have been one last glance across the room, the mysterious spy closed the bedroom door and walked away.