AN: Here's part 2 and the final part of the episode. Yeah not a big one.

Disclaimer: We do not own Helluva Boss and the Angel AU concet is originally EmositeCC's idea who we were given permission to use!

Istanbul Not Constantinople

Part 2

By TalosLives & CrackedInkWell

Based on EMositeCC's AngelAUSeries

Blitzo woke up to feel like his head was about to explode from the inside. He hadn't had a headache this bad since he tried some of that Beelzajuice drink that Stolas got for them on their anniversary. God, he still couldn't remember what the fuck happened that night. Or how to remove that tattoo of Stolas's dick on his ass. Slowly opening his eyes, his vision was spotted and blurry; Blitzo found himself trying to move, but he felt like his limbs were all tied up. Even his wings weren't moving. He also could tell he wasn't alone. Despite the ringing in his ears, he could still hear the voices of his co-workers as they woke up to whatever happened to them.

"No, Mommy. I don't want to get up for school. The kids will just pants me again," Moxxie moaned.

"Anyone get the flyin' license of the truck that hit me?" Millie muttered.

Closing his eyes to concentrate, Blitzo asked, "You two okay?"

"Aside from feeling like I got a concussion? I don't think I'm moving. Oh shit, am I paralyzed?!" Moxxie asked in terror.

"No, I think we're tied up," Millie said before grumbling. "And not in the sexy way either."

Their vision soon cleared up, and based on their surroundings, they were still in some kind of hotel room on Earth. What was keeping them all from moving at all was the chains that were wrapped around them. Blitzo was surprised at this since angels were far stronger than humans. He tried flexing his arms to break the steel. However, he soon learned it wasn't possible as it wasn't just regular steel.

"Is this… titanium?" Blitzo asked in surprise. "Who goes all the way to get titanium-based chains?!"

"The ones who want to ensure that their captures never have a chance to escape with whatever super-powered strength they have due to their alien physiology!"

The three looked to their left, and their eyes widened when they saw four humans standing there, one holding a camera. It all soon came back to them. Humans discovered them, so they tried to escape, only to get knocked out. The four looked at them with various responses, which worried the three angels. Unless authorized or it was involved with a human you were helping, angels were not allowed to show themselves to mortals. And here they were fully exposed before four of them.

However, there was a far more pressing question on their minds.

"Why do you have tin foil hats on your heads?" Moxxie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"So you cannot use your mind-reading powers to delve into your brains and control us to do your bidding!" Dr. Jones said in triumph.

"Mind control?" Millie tilted her head. "Didn't think we could do that… Right?"

"We can't," Blitzo snored. "Goes against the Free Will thing God gave humans. But that's a long story."

"I can't believe it!" Dr. Jones said as he looked at them with glee. "They said I was insane! A madman! But here we go! Right here is actual proof that aliens exist!"

…

…

…

"Huh?" Blitzo asked as he and his friends looked at each other in disbelief.

"Wow, Boss! I can't believe we got them! We're gonna be billionaires for sure when we show the world!" Cassie cheered while clapping her hands.

"Glad to know I didn't waste months of my life for nothing," Hank muttered while keeping the camera on the angels. "Even if it was mostly a drag."

"Wait, hang on a minute! We're not-"

"What should we do, sir? Conduct experiments? Interrogation? Maybe put them in a suitcase and return them to the States?" Billy inquired.

"If you just let us talk-"

"I honestly haven't gotten that far yet. I'm so excited that we finally have aliens in our clutches, and I can finally show the world the genius of Dr. Oswald Jones!"

"And we're going to get tons of likes on YouTube for this!" Cassie cheered.

"Will you idiots shut up! We're not aliens! We're angels!" Blitzo shouted, which got their attention.

"Angels?" Billy asked while tilting his head.

"Duh? See the halos? The white wings? The heavenly cute and sexy faces? We're angels! Ya know, messengers from God! I know atheism is on the rise in the US, and the education system ya got is crap, but ya can't be this dumb," Millie pointed out.

"Oh, please! That's what you want us to think," Dr. Jones said as he got in front of Millie and poked her nose. "I know how you aliens think! You pretend you're something else. Like normal people who walk among us in disguises! Pets like my neighbor's dog, who keeps staring at me because he's a shapeshifting invader seeking to prepare for his people's invasion of our home! Or those so-called "doctors" at the medical facility who keep trying to trick me into thinking I have a mental issue!"

"I think that last one is true," Moxxie said in a deadpan expression.

"I'm telling you! We're not aliens! We're angels!" Millie cried out in frustration.

"They kinda do look like angels," Hank said with a shrug. "Besides, aren't angels technically aliens anyway?"

"Maybe they're just disguising themselves as angels to fool humans?" Cassie suggested.

"Or they're aliens from a different dimension!" Billy theorized.

"Look! The point is that they aren't human! So we're going to make sure that they get exposed to the world so that everyone can stop making fun of me, and we can get rich off of it!" Dr. Jones said. "So keep rolling, Hank!"

"Uh, that's not going to work," Blitzo said with a chuckle. "Angels don't appear on human electronic recordings. Failsafe for us so we don't get exposed."

"What?!" Dr. Jones shouted as he grabbed the camera and started playing it. Indeed, there was no sign of the aliens on the screen, just a set of floating titanium chains. "Son of a bitch! How are we gonna get subscribers now?!"

"Can't we just explain the situation?" Billy asked.

"Sure, let's tell the audience that we have invisible aliens that we legitimately captured! What do you think I am?! Stupid?!" Dr. Jones shouted at Billy.

"So am I even needed anymore since I can't do shit?" Hank asked out of boredom. "'Cause it's hot here, and I want to go into the pool."

"Not yet! Just because we can't conveniently expose them doesn't mean we don't have other methods!" Dr. Jones declared. "But first, we need to know what these aliens are up to and where their mother ship is!"

"He does know we're right here, right?" Moxxie asked his wife in confusion.

"I think he's the one out of this world, sweetie," Millie commented.

Grabbing a nearby chair, Dr. Jones dragged it over to them and sat in it sideways with an arm resting on the backseat. "Why are you three on Earth? Are you scouting for an invasion?" He questioned.

"First off, buddy, personal space." Blitzo shifted his weight, trying to move away from the mad doctor a little ways away from them. Yet, given that his legs were tied to the chair, he could barely do it with his feet to move a few inches. "Second, what we're doing here is our business. And third, we're not here to invade or conquer anyone. Really, this is all a big misunderstanding."

Dr. Jones narrowed his eyes. "Is there any way to turn off your electronic failsafe?"

"Ha! Good luck! Even we don't know how to do it." Blitzo stuck out his tongue. "You can even try recording audio all you want, but you won't hear a thing from us."

"What about non-electronic?" Billy asked.

Blitzo's face went blank.

"Ha! Good luck with that!" Millie said, "I bet that probably won't work either, right Blitz?" There was no reply. "Blitz?"

Doctor Jones thought about it, "Yes… That might be it! You say you can't be captured electronically, but what about mechanical? Hey Hank! Get some cash and go to the markets to see if you can find antique cameras that use film - and go buy some of that, too."

"Do those still even exist?" Cassie asked.

"I bet there is." And then, another thought came to the doctor. "Also, why were you three talking to the camels earlier?"

"We like animals," Millie told him, "What's it to ya?"

"Oh? And are they really just animals? Or did you place secret robots to spy on us humans that just happen to look like camels?"

"I swear this guy is just making shit up as he goes," Moxxie commented under his breath.

"Hank! Go to the market to find an old-fashioned camera that uses film - one of the old motion picture cameras if you can find one. Then go back to the alley and see if you can get data from those camels."

"Ugh, fine." Hank set the camera on the bed. "But if I'm gonna run around, I want coffee. Does anyone want anything?"

"Get me a moca with a couple pumps of vanilla." Cassie raised her hand.

"I'm good." Billy shook his head.

"I'll take an expresso if you can find one. You know how I like it." Dr. Jones told him.

"Cool." Hank went a few steps when a thought came to him, "What about them? Do they drink coffee?"

It was then that Moxxie got an idea. "Actually, we do," he smirked. "And we're in Turkey, right?"

"Yeah?"

"In that case, I'll have a robusta blend, vanilla-infused sugar, no cream where it's all heated up in a cezve - but make sure that it's heated over a fire and not hot sand; I prefer to have my coffee being coarse free. So make sure that it's heated over an open fire or charcoal. The latter if you can find it. Oh! Also, ask them to flavor it with freshly grounded cardamon and a little salep, but not too much; I still want to watch my figure. And make sure that they put in exactly a tablespoon and a quarter, no more of the robusta blend, and at least two tablespoons of sugar. Have it be heated to the boiling point at least three times, or there won't be any froth. Oh, and while we're at it-"

"Jesus, enough we get it already!" Billy exclaimed.

Blitzo gave a low whistle, "Wow, Mox, I was getting some Karen vibes with that. I'm impressed."

"Hey, should I write all this down?" Hank questioned. "You wanted a robusta blend heated in a what?"

After about ten minutes of Moxxie repeating his order, Hank finally left the hotel room to run errands.

"Now, with that out of the way, I have a question." Billy asked, "How long have aliens been on Earth?"

"That's a good question," Dr. Jones returned to the three angels. "Have you always been here or in this area recently? Did you build the Pyramids of Giza? Machu Picchu? Any influence on the Egyptians? The Mayans? The Chinese? Or-"

"Okay, I must stop you right there, buddy." Moxxie interrupted. "So you're saying that aliens had anything to do with those civilizations?"

"You must have. At least, some extraterrestrial influence. There was no way those primitive people thousands of years ago could have created those structures or come up with mathematically precise calculations all on their own. The evidence is clear to me that something must have influenced them."

Moxxie shut his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Okay… Setting aside that casual condescending racism - I have a question for you."

"And what's that?"

"Buddy… Even if we are who you think we are, even if there are aliens out there. Even if they had come here dozens of times in the past… Why would you need our help?"

The whole stuffy hotel room went quiet.

"I mean, c'mon," Moxxie laughed. "I don't know if you noticed this, but… humans aren't exactly as rock-solid stupid as you think. Even thousands of years ago, wherever there were people, even if they had a skin tone darker than Pantone 727, they had this thing called problem-solving skills. Wherever there was a need for something, they found creative ways of making straight lines, counting, and moving stones much heavier than they were with nothing more than what was around them. Maybe you can't figure it out, but those civilizations managed to brainstorm ideas on how to do stuff. Even in the past hundred years alone, you figure out how to use electricity safely, split an atom, get from one part of the planet to another in a matter of hours, connect to the biggest communication and information platform from your pocket, and figured out how to feed every man women and child with a small workforce. Aliens never did a thing; everything here is practically on you, humans. So again, why would you need our help when you can do it yourself?"

Blitzo gave a low whistle. "I mean, you're not wrong."

Dr. Jones fumed but didn't say anything.

"Hey, I have a question," Cassie raised her hand. "Can y'all breed with humans?"

This question caught the angels off guard. "Excuse you!?" Millie exclaimed.

"Ya know, have any extraterrestrials ever gotten freaky with a human? With all those abductions I read about, most of it keeps mentioning probing - if ya know what I mean." Strutting over, she walked over, swaying her hips. "If it turns out that you come in peace, then I wouldn't mind seeing what it's like. Especially with this cutie." Cassie traced her finger around Moxxie's chin, "What do you say there, sexy? Would you like to conquer my moons?"

Blitzo looked at this uncomfortably, Moxxie was flabbergasted at what was happening, and Millie… If she wasn't tied down with titanium chains, she would tear this bimbo with her bare hands. So, she used her words instead.

"Hey! Hands off my husband ya succubus!"

Cassie frowned, "Oh no, you didn't just call me a succubus!"

"Yes, I did ya fifty-year-old, boob-job having, hair extending, dirt cheap back-alley, dog-dick tasting, shameless, free-for-all cumdump whore!"

"Millie!" Moxxie interjected.

"What did you call me bitch!" Cassie reached out to choke Millie, yet Dr. Jones pulled her back.

"Cut it out, Cassie! Don't you see the alien is trying to get under our skin?" Dr. Jones eyed Moxxie.

"Well, it's working!" Cassie broke through Dr. Jones's restraint, trying to rush to Millie. Although being tied up, Mille craned her head back and headbutted Cassie as hard as she could. Making Cassie stumble backward, knocking over the TV.

"Cassie! Enough!" Dr. Jones shouted while Billy rushed over to help her up. Taking a few deep breaths, he said, "Okay… Okay, how about this? While we wait for Hank to return, we can still go ahead and at least record the episode's opening. Just me giving the introduction, and then we can be ready for our real evidence."

"And do it without Hank?" Billy asked.

"It won't be hard. Let's set up the tripod, you push the button, and I'll start talking."

After a minute or so, Cassie sat on the edge of the bed, eyeing Millie. Dr. Jones and Billy set up the digital camera on a tripod to aim it towards the drawn curtains. Dr. Jones took a moment or two to look over the bullet points of the hastily written script before stepping in front of the camera.

"Alright, give me the countdown."

Billy placed his finger on the button. "Okay, rolling in five… four…" He pressed the button to record. His hand counted down three… two… one… and pointed at the doctor as if to say "action."

With his back turned, the doctor peeked behind the curtains as though he was looking out for someone.

"Hello, YouTube, welcome to an exciting episode of Dr. Jones's Journey of The Truth ! And for this, you are in for a wild ride that will blow your minds." Shutting the curtains around, he dramatically turned to face the camera. "Today we will be exposing actual proof that extraterrestrials exist here in Constantinople-"

" Istanbul. " Billy corrected him in a loud whisper.

"Istanbul, Turkey. I am with my crew at our hotel room with the find of the millennium! Is it a flying saucer? A credible eye-witness to an alien cover-up? No! Today, we will give you the absolute, concrete, proof-positive evidence that the government does not want you to see! Here on this channel, you will be able to see real-life aliens that we've captured."

"God, just listening to him makes a snake-oil salesman sound credible," Blitzo remarked.

"Yes, you heard that right! Real aliens from another world. But before we show you, let me tell you how this happened. A few days ago, we received a reliable tip that unusual sightings were seen in Constantinople-"

"Istanbul."

"Where, in Istanbul , blurry photos of strange winged creatures were seen leaping from rooftop to rooftop. And we knew that we must come here right away to investigate. Here in the streets of this ancient city, we come across aliens in a back alley, where they have dropped their human disguises. They extracted data from their spying machine, disguised as a camel, giving them vital information to their mothership."

"Oh, brother," Moxxie rolled his eyes.

"But we arrived just in time to find them in their true forms. Humanoid-like, blue skin with horns on their heads and wings on their backs. They tried to flee, but thanks to my brilliant last-minute thinking, we knocked them over the heads, wrapped them in sheets, and bravely took them to our hotel room before the shadow government could have the chance to cover this up."

"This guy has no shame, doesn't he?" Biltzo shook his head.

Glancing out the window again, Doctor Jones added, "Of course, we had to take great measures to keep this a secret, buying titanium chains and borrowing chairs from the hotel lobby. And then, once we showed them the trinity of all alien weaknesses - germs, water, and a stick - the aliens started to talk. And what they have to say will change everything."

" War of the Worlds, Signs, and fucking Plan Nine from Outer Space references?" Millie rolled her eyes.

"Millie! Language!" Moxxie interjected.

"They cower before us and reveal what we had suspected all along." Dr. Jones continued. "That despite what histories have said, aliens have visited ancient civilizations of the past to turn from primitive savages to advanced, technological societies."

"Oh fuck you!" Moxxie blurted out.

"Language, hun," Millie smirked, and her husband's face blushed deeply in embarrassment.

"It is they who crafted the mythologies from all around the world, everything from tales of Native Americans to the biblical stories of the flood."

"That's not true, and you know it, asshole!" Blitzo shouted.

"But the most shocking of all was why they were in Constan-" Dr. Jones paused for a second, getting a look from Billy. "Istanbul. And that is that they have-"

The door to their hotel room opened, and Hank closed it behind him. Panting like he had run a marathon, he held an old reel camera in one hand and unopened film boxes in the other, balancing coffee on his other arm without spilling a drop. His clothes, hair, and hands looked as though he had walked off the set of a horror film, as they were covered in blood.

"Uh, cut." Dr. Jones walked away from the curtains. "That was quick."

"What happened to you?" Cassie spoke up, eyeing Hank as he set the stuff on a nearby table.

"And why do you look like you just walked out of a slasher film?" Billy asked.

"Well, uh… funny story." Hank went over to the bathroom, and a sink was heard to be turned on as he explained. "The thing was, getting the coffee, new camera, and stuff was easy. I mean that market nearby - it has everything within walking distance. Go figure, right? But the camel was the hard part. I spent forever poking, prodding, getting kicked and spat on trying to find anything metal, ya know? I looked for anything weird, but all I found was nothing but blood and guts."

"You killed the camel!?" Blitzo's jaw dropped. Their client is going to kill them for this.

"I didn't mean to; it just happened, ya know?"

Then there was a sound of someone shouting angrily that was getting closer to their door.

"That, and I had been running from a cranky old guy. But I think I lost him a while back."

Unfortunately, that cranky old guy came bursting through the unlocked door. Someone who appeared to be at least in his late fifties or sixties, he had black pants, a white shirt, a black open vest, an AK-47 in his hands, and an angry look on his face. Oddly enough, he wasn't paying much attention to the three angels in the room. Instead, he bursted in yelling: " O nerede! Devemi öldüren piç nerede?! " ( "Where is he! Where is the bastard that killed my camel?!")

"What did he say?" Dr. Jones asked.

"Onun burada olduğunu biliyorum!" ("I know he's here!") The old man cocked his gun. "Onu bu odaya girerken gördüm, şimdi nerede o!?" ("I saw him come in this room, now where is he!?")

It was then that Blitzo got an idea. There might be a way to get out of this. Even as an angel, he knew it wasn't good policy to play to people's anger - but desperate times call for desperate measures. "Lütfen bize yardım et!" ("Please sir, help us!") He pleaded, making his eyes as wet and glassy as he could. "Devene yaptıklarını bize de yapacaklar! Onlar çılgınlar!" ("They're gonna do to us what they did to your camel! They're crazy!")

"Hey! What did you say?!" Billy asked, looking between him and the furious old man.

The next thing anyone knew, the old man was firing bullets in the room. Dr. Jones, Billy, and Cassie ducked while Hank locked the bathroom door. Among the flying bullets, a few stray ones managed to shatter the backs of one of the chairs the angels were tied to. Moxxie noticed that the chains felt looser somehow and realized that the bullets had broken his chair.

Seeing the opportunity, Moxxie pressed his back against the broken chair as much as he could and wiggled his shoulders. The titanium chains moved upward to where they were going over his head. Soon, he had enough room to let all three angels escape. Moxxie made a mental note to thank Erik Weisz for his tip for getting out of situations like this once they make it back to Heaven.

"Good thinking, Mox," Blitzo said, pulling the chains over his head. "Now, let's hurry and get out of here."

They heard a crash of broken glass, and they realized the window was broken. So, as soon as they all got untied from the chairs, the angels rushed for the windows and down the fire escape—just in time for the old man to run out of bullets and for the doctor to look up.

"They're getting away!" Dr. Jones pointed. "C'mon! We got to go after them!

The three ran down the fire escape and soon landed on the ground. Thankfully, they were in another back alley, and no other humans were around. Pulling out his cell phone, Blitzo prepared to call Loona to get them out of there but winced upon seeing it ruined. "Great! Tell me one of you has yours working."

The two searched their pockets, but they came up empty.

"I think we lost them, sir," Moxxie answered.

The slamming of a door nearby alerted them that they still had to deal with the crazy folks who were now looking for them. Dr. Jones raised his hand and pointed at them. "There they are! Get them!"

"Scatter!" Blitzo shouted as each of them ran into a different alley. Blitzo going left, Moxxie going through the middle one, and Millie heading right.

"What do we do? Which one do we go after?" Billy asked as he looked in three different directions.

"We split up! I'll go after their leader! Cassie, go after the female! Billy, you take the last one! Let's move people!" Dr. Jones shouted as the three nodded and hurried off in different directions—all of them except Hank, who just stood there and looked around.

"Tch, fuck this. I'm going to see some belly dancers," He said as he walked off.

Biltzo was smart enough to put on his human disguise as he ran into a public market, but the problem was that Dr. Jones had seen him doing it, so hiding among the public was not possible. It also didn't help that, thanks to his outfit, he stood out like a sore thumb. Maybe Moxxie was right about the shirts.

"Get back here, you alien!" Dr. Jones shouted as Blitzo continued to run. He started throwing random objects he could grab at the human, from fruits to tea sets to even a scimitar. All while angry merchants were complaining about "Greedy Americans not paying" as Blitzo made a mental note to come back later and pay everything back

"Yip!" Dr. Jone shouted as he dived down as the sword passed over him. He wiped the sweat off his brow before charging forward. He then found himself heading for a large center square that was full of Turkish people in white.

"Great! How am I going to find him in this sea of Turks?!" Dr. Jones complained. Suddenly, the speakers nearby said something in Arabic, and the people all got down to bow and prey in the direction of Mecca. Standing without moving, not too far from Dr. Jones, was Blito, who realized he had been spotted and bolted. "Huh. Praise Allah, I guess."

Blitzo made it to the nearby street and looked around for something to help him escape the crazy human. He soon found an unoccupied classic 1958 Dodge Coronet with keys in the ignition. Thanking God for a moment of convenience, Blitzo jumped in the driver's seat and started the engine. Dr. Jones came out immediately and saw Blitzo getting ready to speed away. Not wanting to lose his ticket to fame and fortune, he looked for anything and saw a person selling harpoons for fishing. Placing whatever Turkish money he had on the table, he grabbed one with rope at the end of it and threw it.

The car drove off just as the hook hit the rear of the vehicle (and classic car owners worldwide gasped as their hearts hurt for some reason) while Dr. Jones held onto the rope. Of course, this being reality and not cartoon, he was dragged down on the streets screaming. The car swerved and dodged through Istanbul's fast-paced traffic. A cabbage vendor was trying to cross when Blitzo's car smashed through it, sending the cabbages everywhere as Dr. Jones landed on a large part of the wooden cart that he started using as a street surfboard.

"Benim lahanam! (My cabbages!)"

"Woah! Yeow! Yeep!" Dr. Jones cried as he surfed the street, avoiding beeping cars, bicycles, and a camel. "Stop in the name of science and YouTube clicks!"

"How about you stop in the name of sanity?!" Blitzo shouted as he swerved hard to the right, and Dr. Jones found himself skidding to the sidewalk.

"Nothing will stop me! Not even-" He then gasped at what was coming ahead. "Snail soup stands?! Shit!"

Dr. Jones screamed as he crashed into various stands, which caused the hot soup to get all over him. Combined with the nation's already hot weather, it was like the burning fury of a sun in his face. The snails splattered all over him, some of the living ones still crawling all over his body, as a trail of angry shop owners screamed at him. Still, the YouTuber didn't let go and slowly got up with a growl while keeping his feet on the board of wood.

"You think… that's enough to stop me? I can handle…" He gasped in horror again. "Camel manure?! GAH!"

Smelly bags of camel dung were ripped open as he got splattered in the waste. The smell was even worse than it looked; some of it got into his mouth and eyes. The bags kept opening up at the slightest movement, already filled to the brim and barely keeping together. When poor Dr. Jones emerged from his messy situation, he was almost as brown as dirt. And yet he kept holding on.

"You think… I'll..." He spat out a nasty nugget-shaped object he didn't want to know was out of his mouth. "Let go…because of…"

He gasped in terror again. "K-POP FANS?! NOOOOO!"

A swarm of hyperactive and obsessed teenage Turkish girls were all screaming and dancing because a popular male Korean boy band was in town and found themselves in such a thick group that it was almost impossible to get out of. The doctor's screams of agony and suffering were soon heard, as well as the rope losing its occupant as he finally went down. Cursing the nation of Korea as he was drowned out by the teenage girls. Lost in their sea of fandom.

"So long, Screwy!" Blitzo said as he looked behind him. "See you in St. Louie!"

He turned forward only to gasp and hit the brakes quickly.

CRASH!

Blitzo moaned as he shook his head. The car was smoking as broken glass could be heard cracking. Mixing with the smoke of the ruined car was the smoke from the multiple nargile and medals whose users ignored the damage in front of them, entirely in tune with nirvana and the cosmos.

One of them looked at Blitzo and silently handed him a pipe.

"... Fuck it, I need it," He grumbled as he took a hit and sighed. "Oh, that's good shit…"

Millie barely had time to put on her disguise before she burst out of the alley and onto the street. However, Cassie still saw it happen; worse yet, she was gaining up on her. Millie knew that she had to lose the attempted hubby-molester somehow. She had to improvise something and fast.

Across the street from where she was was a bazaar that was crowded with people. With not a moment to lose, Millie ran across the street despite the honking cars, furious drivers, shocked mothers, screeching visualize, and confused camel herders. She had to be quick and light on her feet to avoid colliding with any of them, hoping that doing so would deter Cassie from crossing. However, just as Millie crossed the street and looked over her shoulder, she found Cassie running just behind her, leaping over a motorbike. So she dove into the bazaar.

Underneath the shade of canopies and tin roofs was a confusing maze of stalls, merchandise, cloth, spices, antiques, electronics, coffee, and a jumble of everything. But Mille doesn't have time to stop to look around; she has to keep going and keep running further into the maze. Behind her, Cassie was still in pursuit. Jumping over tables, knocking over angry Turks of the rude American, and knocking over perfectly placed spices along the way.

She realized that no matter what she threw at the human, Cassie would still keep chasing her. Yet, the bizarre had all sorts of things that gave her an idea. Here, she snatched a fog machine; there were some vails, a turbine from this stall, a frying pan under a table, a colorful scarf that hung about, and an ancient brass oil lamp.

Cassie followed Millie behind, turning a corner where the disguised angel disappeared behind a curtain of beads. Pushing it aside, it led to a dimly lit room that had no windows and no other way out except for the door. "Where did she…?" Cassie was confused. The angel somehow disappeared. There wasn't anything in this room except for a table, an old brass oil lamp, and a small card that said, " Rub Me ."

"Huh, that's weird." Cassie looked under the tablecloth but didn't see anything. Returning her attention to the lamp, she picked the thing up. Turning it over this way and that, she rubbed the side of it where, unexpectedly, smoke came spewing out.

"Ahh!" Cassie dropped the lamp, and smoke burst out more than ever, almost causing the whole room to be in a misty fog. Cassie was about to run out of the room when something popped out of it.

"Free! I'm free!" Jumping out and landing triumphantly on the table, a small humanoid creature appeared in colorful robes, turabian, and a wedding shimmering scarf.

"The hell are you!?" Cassie stepped back.

"The king of Sweden. No silly! I'm the Genie of the Lamp. The Lamp Genie. Look." Millie kicked a leg straight up and held it to her head, showing her ankle. "Stamp of authenticity."

"A tattoo that says: I Own Mox's Ass? "

"Exactly, stamp of authenticity." Millie let her leg down. "Thank you for freeing me, stranger. I have been unable to get out of that lamp for the past five hundred years."

"What? You've been in this thing for that long?" Cassie picked up the lamp.

"And hated every moment of being in such a cramped space with nothing to do? Absolutely. It's good to be out here again. Tell you what, since you did a good deed for setting me free, I shall do one in return. I will grant you a wish."

"Wait, like, for real?"

Millie nodded. "Yes, one genuine wish. Just name it, and it's yours."

Cassie hummed in thought. A wish from a real Genie Genie, where she could have anything she wanted, anything. From making herself a few years younger to world peace, from having enough money to never having to work again to ending all evil on Earth, she could have anything. All she had to do was ask.

While Cassie thought about her wish, Millie held her wish-granting-frying pan behind her back.

"You know what I would like? I wish that I could be a star."

"A star, huh?" Millie jumped off the table. "What kind are you talking about?"

"Like the famous kind. Where I would have people line up from the door just to have me in their movies, recording albums, and theaters, and maybe have a YouTube channel of my own that would make Mr. Beast look like an amateur. Ya know, something that would make me famous all over." Cassie turned around towards the door. "The kind of famous that would have my name up in lights."

"Now that I can do." Millie grinned wickedly, stepping behind her, raising the frying pan like she was about to hit a home run. "As you wish, bitch!" Millie took a swing, aiming at the hubby molester's ass as hard as she could. Sending her flying out the door. She spanked her so hard that she flew to the other side of the market, getting several confused, surprised looks from the locals below by the time she crash-landed at a fruit stand. Splattering all the pyramids of oranges, apples, grapes, dates, and cherries.

"Benim duruşum! Mahvoldum!" (" My stand! I'm ruined! ) The merchant cried, dropping to his knees weeping.

"Oh look, stars." Cassie pointed out, her head woozy, the world spinning and a galaxy turning around her before she fainted.

Meanwhile, Millie ditched the genie to get up. Finally seeing her opportunity to escape, she prayed that her husband would get out of this, too.

Moxxie had no idea where he was going. If he was honest, he had no idea where he was. After splitting up, he stuck to the back alleys of the ancient city. Trying to navigate through a confusing maze of back doors, laundry lines, dead-ends, brick walls, and here and there a stable or two.

"Get back here!" The words echoed in Moxxie's ears, a constant reminder of the danger that was close behind. He didn't have to look over his shoulder to know that Billy was there, a relentless force in pursuit. Moxxie's heart raced as he tried to throw whatever was in his way to slow the human down. Garbage cans, boxes, laundry baskets, and a support beam for the scaffolding of an ancient archway collapsed behind them. Yet even then, it only bought him a mere few seconds before Billy returned.

More than anything, Moxxie needed something to shake the human off. Or, at the very least, a place to hide.

Then, from a sharp turn, Moxxie spotted a sign overhead that was hung over a doorway.

Şehrazat'ın Halıları

Scheherazade's Carpets

Dashing through the door, Moxxie saw various colorful carpets hung from the walls, dangled from the ceiling, and on suspended rollers. From floral to geometric, large and small, there were rows of colorful carpets. Straight ahead, he saw a cash register with a note: "Out for Lunch." As far as the angel was concerned, it was a good enough place to hide.

"Get back here, asshole!"

Moxxie instinctively dove down behind one of the carpets, pushing under it until he was on the other side.

Billy rushed through the doorway, scanning around the shop. He was about to leave when he noticed that one of the carpets was swaying a little. Walking over, Billy reached down and pulled it up - only to see nothing there.

Moxxie levitated just enough off the ground to be out of sight in front of the human. Yet, when the carpet was lowered back down and hearing Billy's footsteps, Moxxie quickly flew to the other side to the next aisle. Just in time to be out of Billy's sight.

"I know you're here." Billy walked down the aisle and to the next, every so often, would suddenly lift one of the carpets. "Come out, E.T. or whatever you are."

Moxxie went from one aisle to the next, trying to find a good hiding spot. Yet the rollers were too thin, the carpets on the walls were right up against it, and there was nowhere on the ceiling he could be that wouldn't have him be spotted. He was being pushed further back into the shop. Unless he could somehow outrun or find a good hiding spot, he might be captured again.

C'mon, c'mon! There's gotta be something here!

Eventually, he was driven towards the very back of the shop. Moxxie thought he could maybe slip through the employee's entrance, but he found none there. Instead, he found a wooden cabinet. One side of it had a lock and a piece of glass that showed an old blue and green carpet with a handwritten card taped to it.

Gerçek Uçan Halı - Satılık Değil

Real Flying Carpet - Not for Sale

If Moxxie hadn't been chased right now, he would have rolled his eyes at this. Surely, this must be a joke. A cheap sort of gimmick to amuse tourists or something. Yet, this cabinet seems relatively thick enough to have hidden him in. A perfect hiding place. So Moxxie conjured a simple lock-pick spell to get the door opened.

No sooner had he unlocked it than the door suddenly burst open in front of Moxxie's face. At first, he thought some poor animal must have been trapped inside. But no. That carpet the cabinet was holding was flying out like a drunken bat out of hell. It ricochets this way and that, knocking over stands, plowing through the cash register, ripping through rows of carpets.

"Hey, what the shit!" Billy cried, taking cover just when the carpet was almost about to decapitate him. He took cover with hands over his head while carpets were thrown down from the ceiling.

Moxxie couldn't believe his eyes. Of course, even in Heaven, he had heard about the flying carpets from the Arabian Nights, but he had never imagined that he would see one! How it flipped and kicked like a wild bronco. It behaved more like a furious bull than a colorful, flat, fibrous thing you walk on. Something like the expression: Bull in a china shop. A wild thing, but an actual flying carpet.

Billy looked up and spotted Moxxie still pressed up against the cabinet door.

"There you are!" Billy scrambled to his feet, but the wild flying carpet knocked him off before he could get close to the angel. Falling onto the thing, Billy was swept up in the erratic twists and turns of the carpet that flew about the shop.

"Hey! Woah! Stop!" Billy was holding onto one edge of the carpet, pulling on its ancient tassels like the mane of a frightened horse. It forced it to turn, but it flew faster, went upside down, sideways, did a barrel roll, loop-de-loop, and then zoomed out the front doors.

Moxxie rushed out in time to see Billy fly down the streets screaming: " Woah! Stop! Cease! Desist! Jane, stop this crazy thing! " He saw the carpet take a sudden right turn, a crash, and even more screaming that was getting further away.

For a moment, Moxxie was still stunned at what had just happened. Flying carpets were real. And just carried his chaser away like magic.

Note to self, add a magic flying carpet to the Christmas wish list.

As relieved as he was that he got away through sheer dumb luck, finding Millie and Blitzo was still a priority. Fortunately, he knew what the plan was. After the nearly disastrous Mexico City incident, their boss said that they had to agree on a place to meet before going on their mission if they needed to scatter.

And in this case, it would be at the Hagia Sofia.

The three disguised angels met at the back of the building, all gasping for breath. Moxxie wiped the sweat from his brow and turned to his colleagues. "I take it you had to go through some extreme classic-style cartoon shenanigans to escape your crazy human chasers?"

"Pretty much," Blitzo said as he rubbed his wings. "Now, let's get out of here before-"

"There you are!"

"Oh, come on!" Millie groaned as the three chasers rushed forward and stopped. All three of them were clearly angry and pissed off. "I'm this close to saying "F" the non-human killing rule and ending these bastards!"

"Why can't you just leave us alone?! For the last time! WE! ARE! NOT! ALIENS! WE'RE ANGELS!" Blitzo shouted.

"That's what you only want us to think!" Dr. Jones shouted as he pointed at them. "Do you know how long I have waited to prove my theories?! The mocking! The mental asylums! The amount of rejected applications from the universities! All those nights crying in my bed, sucking my thumb, listening to Abba songs while watching Gilmore Girls in order to make me feel better?!"

"There is so much wrong with you I do not know where to begin," Moxxie muttered while shaking his head.

"The point is that nothing, and I mean nothing, will get you three away from my grasp!" Dr. Jones screamed.

Suddenly, a portal opened next to the three angels as Loona poked her head out. "Hey, Uncle Blitz? Mind if I use the last of the whipped cream? I'm making a sunday."

"Sure, sweetie. Just remember to throw it out before you…" Blitzo paused for a second. "Wait! Keep that portal up! Dive guys! Dive!"

The three dived into it, tackling a surprised Loona just as the portal closed. Leaving the three stunned humans behind the Hagia Sofia in silence.

"... Um, boss?" Cassie cleared her throat. "They got away."

"I can see that, Cassie," Dr. Jones muttered, eyebrow twitching.

"What was that?" Billy asked in surprise as he fixed his glasses. "Was that a portal?"

"... Of course! That's how they get around the galaxy! Portal technology! They don't need fancy spaceships! They have successfully created a means to jump between time and space to go to their destinations!" Dr. Jones theorized as he pointed his finger in the air. "That wolf-looking creature must be their Space Princess Ruler! If we can get her, we can have the entire alien planet in our hands!"

"But they got away, sir," Billy pointed out.

"For now, Billy. For now. But we know they exist, we shall be ever watchful and focused! We shall not rest until we recapture them! Soon, the world will know about the brilliance of Dr. Jones! And nothing will delay our crusade!"

"FREEZE!"

The three turned around to see multiple Istanbul Police cars with their officers all holding their guns and aiming at the three.

"... Right after we get out of Constantinople prison."

"Istanbul," Billy corrected him.

"Shut up!"

"Don't worry, guys! I'm sure Henry will rescue us," Cassie said before pausing. "Where is he anyway?"

Henry was sipping his bourbon while watching the belly dancer before he shook around as if an earthquake was going on. Her skimpy outfit flowed in the air as she performed for the various men around her, cheering and clapping for the beautiful dancer. Henry was watching with his earbuds in when he heard he was getting a call from his boss. He debated for a few moments before putting it to voicemail. "I'm sure it's nothing big."

He then turned up the volume of the song he was playing and sighed in relaxation to watch the dance:

"So, take me back to Constantinople

No, you can't go back to Constantinople

Been a long time gone, Constantinople

Why did Constantinople get the works?

That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul!"

Next Episode: Debts of Despair

A New Client has asked the angels of H.O.P.E. for help in preventing their mentally depressed friend from committing suicide due to all the loss and misery in her life. Seeing it as their moral duty to do so, they head down to help her. However, her depression has attracted a supernatural like creature to her life and is making it worse to try to get her to take her own life for it's own reasons. Can the angels prevent suicide or is she too far gone for help?