Conflict (Resolution)

Frisk froze. They didn't know what to do. Susie came back and she was clearly upset about something. The most they could hope for is that she ignores them.

The death glare aimed at them made that very unlikely.

Susie stalked over to where they were sitting and pulled them out of their chair. "What did I tell you when we first met?" she growled.

They were scared. This was just like the bullies from school. Frisk shut their eyes and pushed the panic down. Being scared wouldn't help them. They needed to cut off their feelings and figure out what to do. They needed to figure out what Susie wanted so they could comply.

After a moment, Susie shoved them onto their bed. "I expect an answer!" she demanded.

Frisk stayed still and quiet. They pushed their fear down and let themselves embrace the tingly sensation that came with not feeling anything. They felt themselves breathing, but it didn't register. They knew their bed should feel soft, but their brain couldn't interpret it. Everything felt clear and far away at the same time.

They opened their eyes. Something black and purple was in front of their face. It was so close that they couldn't focus on it.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Someone was saying something. They knew there were words there, but nothing was making sense.

"I'm talking to you!"

The black and purple blurs were moving around. It looked kind of cool. Too bad they couldn't see clearly.

"Are you trying to piss me off? What. Can't even look at me?"

They weren't a fan of the sounds. They wished that the sounds would stop so they could fully embrace the distant tingly feeling. It was hard to completely settle into it when things kept moving in their vision and making noise to distract them.

"Is your silence an admission of guilt? Huh?"

That noise was troublesome.

"Still nothing? Oh hoh, you're really asking for it now."

It was out of their control. They thought they should care, but they couldn't. Maybe they didn't like it, but they couldn't change it.

Frisk made to stand up. They could leave and then they wouldn't have to hear it anymore.

"The hell? Where are you going? I'm still talking to you!"

They walked to the door and twisted the doorknob, but the door didn't move. They turned the lock, but it was already unlocked. It didn't make sense.

"You're not walking away from me after avoiding me for the last two days!"

Oh. There was something heavy on the door. They just needed to move it so that it wasn't blocking the door anymore.

"No! I'm not letting you just move me out of the way. Stop trying to run… shit."

Frisk tried to push the heavy thing out of the way. It didn't work.

"Dude, can you even hear what I'm saying?"

After a couple of failed attempts to push the heavy thing, they gave up. It wasn't meant to be.

"Like, can you say anything? Or nod or something so I know you can understand what I'm saying?"

Frisk went back to their bed and sat down. A few words made it to their brain intact. Say, nod, understand.

Frisk bobbed their head a few times. That's what it wanted, right?

"So you're trying to piss me off on purpose then?!"

They kept nodding.

"Fucking-! What the hell man?!"

They kept nodding.

"Fuck. I don't remember what I'm supposed to do about this."

Nodding seemed to be working. The noise was getting quieter and the black and purple wasn't in their face anymore.

The black and purple left quickly, so they stopped nodding. It was quiet now. They let themselves sink into the empty feeling.

Frisk didn't notice when their fingers were uncurled and wrapped around something. This blank feeling was relaxing. Something made them roll over onto their front. When did they start lying down?

A cool spot appeared on their back. Why was it so cold? What was going on?

Suddenly the back of their neck was shocked with a freezing sensation. Frisk yelped and the world came back into focus.

They rubbed the back of their neck to make the freezing stop. It was a bit wet.

"Finally. What the hell was that?" Susie asked, still seeming to be angry with them.

Frisk opened their mouth to speak, but words weren't coming. They tried a couple of times, and probably looked really stupid. When they understood it was futile, they grabbed a piece of paper and pen from their desk.

"Don't ignore me!" Susie accused.

My words are stuck. I can't help it. They'll probably come back soon.

Frisk shoved the paper towards Susie and let her decide what to do with that information.

"Huh. Okay. So you can't talk right now. That doesn't explain what the hell happened before though. And that doesn't explain the last two days either."

I didn't want to make you mad so I stayed out of your way.

Susie sighed in frustration. "What did I tell you when you moved in?"

Frisk blinked. You told me lots of stuff.

Susie snarled, "Quiet people. Piss. Me. OFF!"

Frisk knew they'd screwed up big time. Compliance looked different here than it did at their parent's house and at their old school. They couldn't just stay quiet and try to be invisible here.

Sorry.

Susie scoffed at the word. "Words are cheap. Actions are what matters. Your actions won't change unless you know why they were wrong. So what, you're sorry. At least say why you're sorry and say what you'll do to change."

I'm sorry for avoiding you. I will try to talk more.

"Good." Susie said, "As long as you follow through, then that's that. You can start now by talking to me and telling me why."

There was no way that it was this simple.

Because that's how it works.

"How what works? Be clearer. I can't read your mind."

When people are mad, it's because I did something wrong. So I stay quiet and out of the way. If I don't say or do anything, then no one can get mad.

"You can't run away from everything you know." Susie commented, "What happens when someone gets mad about something that matters to you?"

Like what?

"Like when your parents use the wrong name. Or when someone tells you that your adventure didn't happen?" Susie said, "I'm not dumb. If you didn't insist your time in the Underground was real, you wouldn't be here. And Miss Eleanor kept calling you a girl until you showed up on Saturday. It's not a huge leap in logic to guess that that's what your parents call you. Obviously, you've got a backbone. You just quit when the going gets tough. Don't."

Frisk paused to consider Susie's words. Was she right? But they were a red soul. That meant they had a lot of determination to work with.

"Look, I've gotta bring this ice back to the kitchen before it melts and makes a mess," Susie gestured to a rag with ice cubes in it, "You just think about it. When I come back, we'll go to group and after, we can finish this. Got it?"

Frisk cleared their throat and managed to get some sound through. "Mhm."

Susie did as she said, then brought Frisk to the group therapy session. Both of them stayed quiet as some of the other students shared stories about their Nonsense worlds. From what Frisk understood, everyone was expected to talk eventually and the other students were supposed to offer support. Staying quiet was also allowed too. Not everyone would feel up to contributing every day.

For today, Frisk was happy to pretend to listen as a yellow-souled girl talked about her world where everything was made of sugar, and a blue-souled girl whose world was all about movement and how her special shoes would let her run on rainbows. It was neat to see their souls glowing when they talked about their worlds. Lundy dismissed them after an hour to make time for the next group.

Frisk and Susie went back to their room to finish the earlier conversation.

"So spill. What the heck happened earlier. You space out hard when I came back before." Susie said. She stared expectantly at them. Frisk only wished they could give her a proper answer.

"I… don't know. I was scared, but I couldn't be, so I shoved it all down until I couldn't feel it anymore. It's never gone that far before."

"You know that's not healthy, right?" Susie commented, "Like, you need to be able to react to stuff. Anything could have happened. Much worse than some ice down your shirt."

Frisk shrugged. "It's always worked before. Why stop?"

Susie snorted. "Sometimes, I forget you're still just a kid. You didn't spend so long in the Underground that your brain and body are different ages, right?"

Frisk shook their head. They figured that they probably spent more than six weeks in the Underground, since they were able to skip a grade in most subjects, but it couldn't have been more than a year. For one thing, they hadn't grown. It also didn't feel like it had been as long as a year. Maybe their brain and body were off by a few months, but that wasn't too long compared to some of the other students.

"Exactly. You're twelve and your body is twelve. You're gonna act and think like a twelve-year-old. My body might be seventeen, but in my mind, I'm closer to twenty, give or take a year. I found a Dark Fountain in the supply closet at school when I was fifteen. I spent four-ish years in the Dark World before I fell back here. I had only been missing for a month." Susie explained.

"I got to grow up, but you didn't spend long enough in the Underground to have aged much. That means, someone's gotta teach you how to grow up and be a person." Susie flashed her teeth in a wide smile. It was the kind of smile you'd see on a teacher just before giving their least favourite student a detention. "As your roommate, I guess that's my responsibility."

Frisk started trembling. What was that supposed to mean? They started to work themselves up, before they noticed the light coming from Susie's chest. It was a pale green. The trembling stopped.

Souls were beautiful, captivating things.

Susie started snapping her fingers in from of their face. "My eyes are up here, shorty."

"But your soul is here." Frisk said as they put their hand over the spot where her soul was. They wanted to see if they could draw it out and get a better look.

They were startled when Susie slapped their hand away.

"Hey! Not cool, dude! I will kill you if you try anything like that again! Twelve or not."

Frisk blinked. They were just trying to see her soul better. To draw it out, they were going to try touching the spot. The spot in the middle of… her… oh.

"Nonono! It's not like that!" Frisk made an X with their arms, "I was just trying to see your soul better. I wanted to see if I could draw it out like the monsters in the Underground could. Nothing else!"

"Well no more of that!" Susie exclaimed, "As your self-proclaimed mentor, lesson number two is to never do that again. Not unless you ask first and get permission!"

"Okay," they nodded, "but lesson two? What's lesson one?"

Susie glared at them.

"What?" They asked.

Susie kept glaring at them.

There was a moment of awkward silence.

Frisk grumbled, "I don't get it."

"Quiet people. Piss. Me. Off." Susie stated quietly, "You're still a kid, you'll make mistakes, but if you need something, you gotta say it. If you want something, you gotta fight for it. Be loud, be bold, be mean! Be anything you gotta be or the world is gonna eat you alive."

"Running away makes you go away, nothing else."

Frisk considered Susie's words. They were still running away from everything, weren't they? But how were they supposed to do anything else? It was easy to bring out their determination when they thought about trying to go back. Their resolve crumbled when they thought about the futility of being a kid in a world where adults thought that children couldn't understand themselves.

"It's just so hard though." They admitted.

"Then you fight." Susie said, "If someone insults you, throw words back at them. If someone ignores you, make noise so they can't. If someone hits you, hit back twice as hard. Show them all that you're better than what they think of you."

Susie's soul filled the room with a soft green light. It was like a lamp in a dark room, though the lights were on. Frisk could feel the power coming through.

"Your soul is green, you know. It's not the same green as Eleanor's but it's still really pretty. And it feels strong too."

Susie laughed, "Man, that came outta nowhere! I'm trying to tell you how to take on the world, and you're focusing on my soul? Geez dude."

Frisk shook their head, "No. When you were talking, your soul glowed brighter. The colour filled the whole room, and it's still shining. It's brilliant!"

"And does the colour mean anything? Or is it just random?"

"Your soul colour determines what kind of magic you can do once you activate it."

"Nice! I bet loads of people here can probably do magic if they tried." Susie grinned, "And what can green do? Is it like, ultra combat magic? No, I bet it's like the strength to do anything. When I swing my axe in the dark world, I can make blasts come out. But I can also do some healing magic. What's so funny?"

Frisk was laughing. Susie was so far off the mark. "No. Strength stuff is what orange and blue souls can do. Maybe red too."

"So then what's green?"

"According to the King, green souls have some kind of mimic magic. Like, if you see some kind of magic, you can probably do it too, but less strong than the original. I don't know if it's only certain kinds of magic that you could copy. The Librarby didn't exactly have any references, and I only got to have one conversation with the King. There wasn't enough time to learn much."

Frisk paused for a moment. They fiddled with their shirt and looked towards the floor. "Green is also supposed to be the colour of kindness. Soul colour doesn't actually mean anything about you as a person, but some monsters think that different soul colours match up with primary personality traits."

It was Susie's turn to laugh again, "No one would ever tell you I'm a kind person. I'm rude, I'm loud, and I'm not gonna apologize to people who can't handle me. As far as I'm concerned, that's a them problem."

"Eleanor told me you were nice though."

"I bet she says that about everyone when she's making room assignments."

"And I think so too."

"Hah?" Susie quirked her eyebrow, "I scared you so badly just by talking to you, that you checked out so hard you couldn't hear properly. How is that kind?"

Frisk kept staring at the floor. "That was my fault. I was insensitive and asked about your candy."

Susie let out a long, slow sigh. "All of this," she gestured around the room, "was about the fuu- flipping candy? You see, this is why you talk to people. The candy doesn't even matter!"

"But you got so upset when I asked. I didn't mean to."

"It's just candy! It's a sore topic for me, sure, but it's just candy and you didn't know. I overreacted, I admitted it, so now it's over." Susie said, clearly exasperated with them, "In the end, it's just candy and you just asked a question. No harm done, so let it go."

"But what if it happens again?"

"Then don't let it. Before, you didn't know that chalky candy is something important to me. Now you do, so you won't make that mistake. It's that simple." Susie explained.

"But what if I do?"

"Just don't! If you're filled with a burning desire to talk specifically about chalk candy for no reason, then that's an obsession you should probably work out in therapy." Susie said.

Frisk was unsure. Was it really that simple? Normally their mistakes would be dragged out forever.

"Look," Susie continued, rubbing her face with one hand, "If you're that worried about it, just tell me something you like that's weird. Then we'll be even."

That made sense. Trading information seemed fair. "I like snails." They said.

"Like… as pets?"

"No. They taste good."

"That's super weird." Susie commented while smirking.

"Snails are one of the few food sources in the Underground that can be farmed without magic. Snails and spiders are the only non-magical source of protein." Frisk explained. They paused for a second, "Maybe water sausages too. I'm not sure. But I think those are magic so maybe they don't count."

"Wild. Chalk candy has a similar story for me. The first Dark World I went to was composed of toys, games, and things you might find in a school supply closet. Makes sense since I found the Dark Fountain in a supply closet. Anyways, one of food items was chalk. It tasted sweet in the Dark World, like candies. Since then, I've been able to digest real chalk. Tastes good to me too. Problem was that when I reappeared at school, someone caught me snacking on a box from the same supply closet that the Dark Fountain appeared in. What happened after… it wasn't the best time." Susie explained, "Since eating real chalk is a bit much, even for this place, Miss Eleanor gets me chalk candy. It's not the same, but it's the closest I can get."

Frisk nodded, "I miss the Underground. When I was there, all I thought about was coming back, but now that I'm back, I don't want to be here. The Underground was so much better to me. Even when monsters were hunting me, some of them were really good to me. I abandoned that world, and I want to fix my mistake. I know there's a way, so I'm gonna go back and do it again. Over and over if I have to until I get everything right."

"There you go. Fight for it! And don't stop until you get what you want. Otherwise, what's the point? Life is meant to be lived for you, not for what other people think of you. And if they've got a problem with it, then kick their ass."

They wanted to tell Susie that she really is kind, but they didn't think she'd believe them. Instead, they just nodded.

The roommates went about their business for the rest of the evening before settling down for the night.

Nothing special happened for the rest of the week. School here was nice, since the classes were small. There were fewer students to pick on them, not that anyone tried to, and the extra attention from the teachers was reminiscent of Toriel. It wasn't one-on-one like in the Ruins, but the teachers could easily adapt assignments to meet different needs and spend extra time with students who needed help. One kid in their class was so focused on numbers that she had a hard time understanding anything unless numbers were involved in some way. Apparently that was related to the high Logic world she went to.

In group sessions, Frisk opted to remain quiet for now. They didn't mind listening and observing to see what was expected from them when they did choose to share. At least, they tried to pay attention. Every time one of the students started talking about their worlds, their souls would start glowing. It wasn't a bright glow, but the lights were pretty and distracting.

They hadn't had any more problems with Susie either. They did their own things in the evenings but spent mealtimes together and occasionally chatted in their room. All in all, Frisk felt comfortable here. On Friday, they got their first tastes of their elective classes.

It was easy to see why most students only took the Mapping class for one semester. Mostly, it was a few students who were very invested in examining and explaining everything about the Compass, with the newer students asking questions as they came up. Frisk knew they'd become one of the statistics who only attends for a short time.

The self defence and outdoor education classes were much more fun. They were given a plastic knife to practice with in their self defence class. At this point, they only went through simple exercises and motions to get used to wielding a small weapon. The girl they were partnered with was quite knowledgeable. In her world, she was an assassin tasked with removing the ruling tyrant from power. She got caught up in his ritual by accident when his blood activated the magic he'd prepared. She found herself in her parents' backyard shortly after. While Frisk wasn't interested in becoming an assassin, they appreciated her knowledge of small, concealable weapons.

Outdoor education was one class that they found themselves reasonably well equipped for. They didn't know how to make a fire from scratch, or which plants were safe to eat, but they did know enough about finding shelter, cooking on a fire (once it was lit), and identifying drinkable water. While they learned to make a fire, they also helped a couple of girls with cooking. It was a nice experience.

If they stayed at this school for a while, they might even make some friends.

Of course, their priority was still finding the Underground again. Once a month, outdoor education students were allowed to hike through the surrounding woods and set up a camp for the weekend. The next outing would be held in two weeks. They still had some time to write the letters and exchange some of their clothes.

That evening, Eleanor found them and gave them four letters. Three were replies from the others who fell into the Underground. One was from their parents. The last one was addressed to their old name. As expected, the letters of the name were blurred to their vision, and they couldn't read it.

Dear Frisk,

It is lovely to hear from another Underground adventurer! It certainly has been some time since my own travels, but it was a great experience that helped shape my life into what it has been.

As you mentioned in your letter, I am a green soul. I used my magic to learn to cook monster food, as it is magical in nature. Coming back to Earth, my food gained small magical enhancements. I'm sure you learned in the Underground that eating magical food would restore your energy and heal you very quickly. My Earth foods do something similar, but the action is much slower. As a mimic magician away from an abundance of magic, it is understandable that this would happen. It was quite useful though, when my children fell ill. They tell their children all about grandma's special lemon tea that cures their colds and makes their scrapes and bruises disappear.

Oh but that is just an old woman rambling. I'm afraid I can't help you too much with your magic. Mine showed up naturally as I asked Toriel if I could help her in the kitchen. As I was a teenager at the time, she was quite happy to have the help. Does she still live in the Ruins? I know that, as a boss monster, she should still be alive now.

As for other monsters, only Toriel and King Asgore recognized me as a human. I spent some time in Snowdin and Waterfall, earning my keep by cooking at the various establishments. I think I stayed for about a year Underground before making my way to the castle. The king was surprised to see me when I arrived. He knew that a human had fallen a year before, but assumed I was dead when Toriel had reached him and I hadn't. He asked me if I would stay and free them, but I declined.

You see, I found the Underground while I was young and trying to escape an engagement that my parents had chosen for me. My betrothed expected me to be a housewife with a duty to raise his sons and saw me as nothing more than a means to an end. Upon falling into the Underground, I wanted nothing to do with housework or femininity. As I settled into life in the Ruins, I couldn't escape that I enjoyed some of the traditionally female activities.

In the Underground, I learned what I valued and how I could use that back on Earth. If I had waited, I would never have had my life. I returned to Earth and escaped to a women's shelter. The year I spent Underground made me sixteen, and able to leave my parents behind, though three years had passed on Earth. My ID cards showed me to be eighteen, which served my purposes even better. I found a young man I loved who was a priest for a large Catholic church.

We lived a good life together, though I never spoke to him of my time Underground. I didn't attend Eleanor's school, as it had not been established at the time, but she did find and contact me a few years after opening it. I won't pretend to understand how she knew when I had never told anyone, but she appeared at my door one day while my husband was out and asked if I would like a teaching position at her school.

Naturally, I had to decline. I had a husband, a child on the way, and had never completed formal education. I attended until the end of eighth grade, but was withdrawn by my parents before high school. They didn't see the need to have their daughter educated like a man, and I didn't mind. If I could study cooking and needlework with the neighbourhood girls, I was happy. We did keep in touch though.

Now, I don't know if I was able to answer all of your questions, but your letter makes me happy. I'm glad that other children found their way to the same magical world that I experienced. Please write again, if you'd like. I would enjoy hearing your tale too. It would make this old woman's day.

Warm Regards,

Julia.

Dear Frisk,

Pleased to make your acquaintance. Your letter was a surprise, but a pleasant one. I hope you are enjoying your time at Eleanor West's school. It is a great place to ease your transition back into life on Earth.

I am indeed a yellow soul and my powers were quite obvious from the moment they appeared. I call it "Intuition" because it allows me to observe the surface level thoughts of anyone whose face I can see. It was useful in the Underground because it allowed me to easily judge which monsters were a threat and what they might need to appease them. It made my trip through the Underground fairly quick, lasting only a few days after leaving the Ruins.

From what I learned from Toriel, you are blessed with a very Determined soul. I'm afraid I won't be able to help you narrow down what your powers might be. From what I was told, red souls have the widest variety in what their magic could be, as well as a high efficiency in their magic use, which could cause any number of misleading hypotheses. I expect your red eyes are somehow related, but I could not begin to guess how.

There were three monsters in the Underground who were able to identify me as a human on sight. Toriel and Asgore are a given, since boss monsters are so long-lived that they remembered humans from before the war. When I fell into the Underground, it had been over six hundred years since they were sealed. Some of the older monsters might have recognized me as a human, but I used my magic to help me sneak around the elderly without being seen.

The third monster was a surprise. A small skeleton child recognized me. He looked to be about eight years old and was carrying a large bag of groceries through the capital. When he saw me, he stopped and asked if I was a human. Before I could answer, he shook his head and wandered off. His thoughts were about his baby brother being more important than some random human. I didn't think much of it since I was so close to the barrier anyways.

When I met Asgore, he gave me the option to live in the Underground until my natural death, or to take a magic donation from him and leave. I asked for a few days to decide, and he allowed me to live in his house until I made my decision. I was given a children's bedroom with two beds. I figure that this room must have belonged to his previous kids. From his thoughts when he led me to the room, I decided it was best to not inquire about what happened. It was when Toriel arrived that I came to a decision.

I decided to leave because I had changed. When I fell into the Underground, I was running from punishment. I had borrowed my brother's hat and toy gun and spent the afternoon playing cowgirl in the backyard. My parents were strict and intolerant people. They wanted me to be a girl who wore dresses and submitted to the authority of the man in charge. I was scared when they caught me, so I fled. I tripped over a rock, tumbled down a hill, and fell into a hole that had never been there before.

In my time in the Underground, I got a better understanding of the actions and intentions of people. I spent my days talking to Asgore and learning about the state and the future of the Underground and its inhabitants. I agree completely that their sealing was unjust, but by waiting around to eventually die, I wouldn't accomplish anything. I decided to leave so that I could finish my education and use my life to do something worthwhile.

I was Underground for about a month. When I returned to Earth, it had only been two days. My father punished me upon my return, so I waited for the time to strike against him. My magic helped me to avoid the worst of him, and I was able to move away when I turned eighteen. Six years after my time Underground, I got a full scholarship to a good university and completed a B.A. in political science. After that, I attended Harvard Law. Since then, I have spent my life so far as a prosecutor, primarily taking on domestic cases and trying to help those who can't help themselves. I am using my life to do something.

And if Intuition helps me to ask the right questions to ensure the victory of my clients, then I certainly can't complain.

If there is anything else you need, feel free to contact me again. As a lawyer, my life is busy so it might take some time for me to reply, but I will.

-Simone

Hey Frisk!

I'm so happy to hear from someone else who ended up in the Underground. I bet you've sent letters to Julia and Simone too, right? Eli is pretty cool about helping people get in touch with others. And you're so young too! I hope we can get along, even if it's just through letters. Simone was the next closest to me in age, but the two of us really don't have anything in common. But now you're here! I'm looking forward to getting to know you. I'd like to be a good mentor for you, if I can and if you want it.

About my powers, it's nothing special. I almost didn't figure it out because it's pretty subtle most of the time. I didn't figure it out until I left the Underground. Basically, I've got the power of perfect balance. It doesn't sound like much, but as a professional break-dancer, it suits me perfectly! For your magic, I don't know what it could be. Red souls are kind of unpredictable. Once you figure it out, I'm sure you'll know that the magic was made for you too! It's hard to talk to Julia about it, since our generations are so far removed, and Simone will never admit it, but I think that their powers were made for them too.

I guess that makes sense though, since it is soul magic.

Anyways, you wanted to know about my time Underground? I spent lots of time in the Ruins with Toriel. I've never been big on school, but I'm not stupid. I just prefer doing things over sitting around and reading, you know? I think I stayed with her for about six years even though her interests and mine didn't really align. I was fourteen at the time and high school was more school than I ever wanted to do. She did teach me the basics of soul colours and what to expect from my blue soul. Even if Asgore says that soul traits aren't reflective of personalities, I disagree. Julia is truly kind, and Simone is the embodiment of justice. Integrity is who I am, and I'll never let anyone tell me who I am or am not.

My parents were always supportive of me. As an only child, I was their world. When I told them at the ripe old age of 5 that I was a girl and not a boy, they went to the store and bought me some dresses and switched me to a different school. When I asked, they enrolled my in ballet classes. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a ballerina.

By high school though, I was tired of the strict routines involved in ballet. I was pretty damn good at it, but it felt stifling. Maybe part of it was my fear of puberty, but I couldn't tell you now. At the time, I was stressed about when my voice would drop and my appearance would start changing. Puberty blockers are a thing now, but back then, they weren't an option.

Over time, I noticed a strange feeling in my throat, but I wasn't sick. Sometimes, after exercising, I'd catch a whiff of my smell and it was so different from the other girls. I carried spray on deodorant everywhere with me to hide it as best as I could. When my voice had changed enough for other girls to ask if I was catching a cold, I panicked. I coughed a few times and told them I'd call my mom to pick me up while they had class.

Instead, I hid behind the building freaked out. I just couldn't do it, you know? I couldn't bear the thought of eventually looking more and more like a younger version of my dad. Don't get me wrong, he's great and I love him, but I never want to look like a younger version of him.

Exercise has always been my escape, so I started to jog around the parking lot. I took the pathway just off the lot towards the local park. I intended to just go to the park and come back, clear my head you know? But the path was too long. I passed the "Be Sure" sign and kept going. I think I passed the same sign four or five times before stopping to look around. When I walked closer to the sign, a hole opened up in the ground and I walked right into it.

I won't lie to you and say I didn't know what I was doing, or that it was a surprise that I fell. I saw it and I took the step forward. Whatever was down there wouldn't involve growing into a man.

As for my time Underground, I liked it. Even better, I didn't age while I was down there. My voice didn't go back to how it was, but it didn't get any deeper. My musculature didn't change much beyond what I could naturally achieve as a young teenager. I stayed fourteen and on the cusp of puberty for six years. Every day, I danced. Toriel had some old cassette tapes that I could listen to make up routines for. There were a few classical pieces, and also some hip-hip, pop, and rap.

At first, I stuck to the classical pieces and the traditional steps I'd learned at ballet school. After more than five years of diligently practicing ballet and following Toriel's schedules, I decided to try dancing to the pop music. I deviated from the steps I'd always been taught and tried new moves. It was fun. Over time, I brought out the hip-hop and rap tracks too. I'd seen breakdancing on TV, and thought it would be fun to give it a try. I tried a few of the moves that I remembered and it was an incredible experience.

The freestyle nature of breakdancing was freeing for me.

Unfortunately, as I started experimenting, I also started aging. I was lucky, and my natural voice is on the higher pitch end of the male spectrum, but the timbre was still male. It took a couple of years of voice training on Earth to sound female again.

Anyways, when the changes became unavoidable and impossible to hide any longer, I fled from Toriel in the middle of the night. Monsters didn't recognize me as a human. I didn't even need to speak to them, most of the time. I would dance and sometimes they'd dance in response. Other times, they just let me be. After a few days, I made it to the castle.

I ran into a few monsters in the area around the castle who really stood out. There was a skeleton, a young adult I think (he wasn't wearing stripes) looking after a preteen skeleton and making dumb jokes. When I walked past them, he winked at me. Not in a weird creepy way, just like we had some sort of inside joke or something. The preteen was confused and told him to stop being weird, but that was about it. There was also a teenage lizard who asked if I knew anything about Asian culture. Well, she said human culture, but she was really talking about animes and stuff. Have you ever seen Evangelion? She was talking about the Evas and if making robots like that was actually possible.

Besides that, when I met Asgore, he gave me the choice. I chose to leave. I'm no hero, and I wasn't going to wait around while my body changed into a man without the means to undo it. I asked Asgore to give my regards to Toriel if he ever saw her again, but I don't know whether he did or not. I took his donation and crossed the barrier. When I returned, I found out that I had been missing for five months, not the six years that I had spent Underground. My body was the same as it had been Underground, and it had probably only aged about five months anyways.

I had to do high school all over again. It SUCKED!

My parents were so happy to see me, that they even let me "indulge in my fantasies" about the Underground for a while without directly refuting it. We saw some doctors who agreed to start prescribing me androgen blockers and estrogen when I turned sixteen. In the meantime, Eli called my parents and invited me to her school. Toriel had taught me the high school curriculum, so I spent most of my time outside of class learning to breakdance properly.

As soon as I was old enough, I found a group and we began touring. We do shows throughout the country and sometimes internationally. I love it.

I discovered the truth of my powers shortly after arriving at the school. I hadn't been practicing much at all in the month between returning to Earth and going to her school. All the simple moves that I had taught myself I was suddenly unable to do. No matter what I tried, I kept falling over. Even when I was learning, I never fell over. Soon enough, I put the pieces together. Blue soul, sudden lack of balance, I'm not dumb.

It really helped my career. Without the magic, I'm sure I could have done it, but it made my goals easier to realize. So I'm glad for my time in the Underground, but I'm also glad I left. If I stayed, I would have been stuck and never become everything I wanted to be. Maybe it's selfish, but I'm me. I won't settle for less.

Mind telling me your story? I'd love to hear about it. Maybe it'll help you figure out your magic if you spend some time telling me about your adventure. There's no way your magic didn't activate in some form while you were there.

Write back soon!

-Tash

Dear [REDACTED],

We hope you're settling into your new school well. How are classes so far? What is your roommate like? Is everyone treating you well there? Because we can withdraw you at any time if they aren't treating you properly.

Did you find the extra clothes we sent for you? I know that skirts have never been your thing, but I'm hoping you grow into femininity during your time away from us. You've always been such a pretty girl and we'd love to see you smiling again when we see you at graduation.

We miss you a lot. This time, we're just happy to know that you're safe and healthy. When you ran away, those were the worst weeks of our lives. Your therapy sessions will hopefully help you come to terms with what happened to you and get you back on track to living the life you were meant to have. You left as a shell of a child, and we hope to see you again as a confident young woman ready for college.

Please let us know how you're doing and remember to behave! This school is an opportunity, so take advantage of it and get your grades up! With the amount of attention you'll be getting from your teachers, we expect to see straight As on your first term report card at Christmas.

Write back soon!

-Mom and Dad