Chapter 250 – Awkward Conversations
Once Jack, Elizabeth and Father Mark walked away, John looked around the table.
"Something happen this afternoon?" John asked.
"Yes." Gran said. "I am not sure what exactly, but something happened. I am trying to let them work it out. That said, I have my suspicions about what happened. I am going to continue to believe that JP wouldn't break the rules of my house. I will pray for them."
Gran looked at Doug, Nathan and Lee.
"If I find out they broke the rules and anyone who is covering for them." Gran said. "They will also be in the doghouse."
The boys didn't say anything and just sat there.
"Anyone care to share?" John asked.
"I know a bit more than others." Doug said. "But Jack and Elizabeth need to work it out between them. Father Mark is going to mediate. I think we best leave it to them unless they ask for help. There have been a number of pretty intense conversations the last few days and emotions have been running high."
"Then you add in that intense prayer session from Father Mark last night." Frank added. "On top of Jack working out like a mad man late at night. There is definitely something going on. But I agree with Doug, that we need to let Jack and Elizabeth work this out between them with Father Mark."
"I have a feeling that they are finally dealing with some of the big emotions that they have been putting off." Nathan said.
"Very well." John said. "I will try to leave them alone. I just know that Jack has other things that he needs to be focused on this week."
"Midnight's Run and the show." Doug said. "We know. That is why I think Father Mark pushed the issue and is making them sit down and talk about things tonight."
"What happened with Midnight's Run?" Chief asked.
James and Doug filled the Chief in on what happened with Midnight's Run. They also let him know a few other things that had happened on the ranch that he might not have been aware of. The girls excused themselves to go read before bed. They wanted to get their homework done so they wouldn't have to worry about it the next day as they wanted to be able to ride and play in the pool.
"So when is everyone coming over tomorrow?" Chief asked. "Moreover, who is all coming?"
… … … …
Jack took a deep breath and looked at Elizabeth. Father Mark could feel the tension and was silently praying. He was going to try and sit back and let the two of them work things out.
"We need to have a conversation about this afternoon and I have asked Father Mark to be here because I felt it would be better. He won't repeat anything we talk about, but things need to change."
"I agree that things need to change." Elizabeth said. "I am sorry that I pushed the boundaries."
"I am sorry as well." Jack said. "I should have been more of a gentleman and not let things get that far. But again, you see why I said from the beginning that we need to be careful."
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I love you and would it have been so bad if we crossed that line. I mean we are getting married, it is not like we won't be together later."
"Yes." Jack said. "For me it would have been a sin."
"Elizabeth." Father Mark said. "I want you to try and understand something. Jack made a vow to God a number of years ago to remain pure until marriage. To break that vow would not only be a major sin, but it would cause immense guilt for Jack. He would view it as a personal failure to God."
"Oh." Elizabeth said.
"Furthermore." Father Mark said. "You both have made it this far, and as difficult as it might be the next six weeks or so, I would encourage you to wait. Not only from the mortal sin aspect, but it is the right thing to do."
"Elizabeth." Jack said. "You are the only woman that has ever made me feel this way. I seriously struggle to maintain being a gentleman when it comes to you. There have been times in the last two weeks that it has been physically painful for me to be around you because of what you do to me. That is why I have had to walk away. I have done that to try and calm my body, but it is not helping as much as it was before."
Elizabeth blushed, but she wasn't the only one. There was pink color across Jack's cheeks as well. He knew it and was trying to not think about it.
"No need to be embarrassed." Father Mark said. "Because I am sure you are feeling things similar to what Jack is feeling. Things you might not be able to put into words or even understand at the moment. Just know that what you are both feeling is natural, what you do with those feelings right now is what needs to be talked about. It won't be long at all and you won't need to stop or hold back and that is a good thing. Right now, even though you are in a committed relationship and working toward marriage, in the eyes of God, you are not in a place to act on those feelings – together or apart, especially apart."
Father Mark looked between the two of them sitting there blushing.
"If you have done those things in the past." Father Mark said. "If you haven't already, you need to seek God's forgiveness and refrain from such activities in the future."
Both Jack and Elizabeth nodded.
"Elizabeth." Jack said. "Do you understand why this is important to me?"
"Mostly." Elizabeth said. "You believe that sexual intercourse is reserved for a married couple."
"Yes." Jack said. "That is why in most Catholic circles it is referred to as the marital act."
"I still don't fully understand why it is only a marital act." Elizabeth said. "Or how no birth control factors into things. Not that I want to be on birth control. It is just wanting the options."
"The simplest explanation I have for both of those things is this." Father Mark said. "In Genesis two twenty-four it says 'therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh'. That joining of two to become one flesh not only refers to the physical act but it is also a sacramental expression of the communion of persons. Essentially, the marital act makes visible the invisible mystery of God. God is a communion of three persons."
Jack nodded. Elizabeth still looked a bit confused.
"Does that make a little bit of sense?" Father Mark asked.
"I think so." Elizabeth said. "So because Catholics view sexual intercourse as more than just the physical act, but the joining of souls for the purpose of creating new life, it has a high purpose and/or meaning and therefore is something that is not to be taken lightly. If I understand it, the world or current culture only views sexual relations as a physical act, they have muddled the true meaning it was meant for."
"More or less, that is correct." Father Mark said. "From the beginning of time, Christians had always viewed the sexual act as something within the confines of marriage. It wasn't until the nineteen sixties did those views start to change at least in popular culture. They wanted sexual freedom without the responsibilities and I firmly believe that is what has led to the problems that the world faces today. When you take something that is meant for one thing and use it for another, it has consequences."
"Okay." Elizabeth said. "I understand a little better. I know that I have a lot to learn, but thank you for trying to explain it to me."
"Absolutely." Father Mark said. "I will always try to answer your questions or at least point you in the right direction. Sometimes, it might mean you do some reading on your own, but I will never dismiss your questions. You don't have the foundation that Jack or I had having been raised in the Church. I want nothing more than for you and Jack to have a successful marriage. So in order for that to happen, open conversations between all of us need to happen."
"Not that this hasn't been important for us to talk about." Jack said. "But we do need to get back on track and specifically talk about this afternoon and how we are going to move forward without crossing that line we came so close to today."
"You are right." Elizabeth said.
… … … …
"For the most part it will only be the people here who are invited tomorrow." Gran said. "The Avery's will be over at some point in the morning. Major Thompson and his family at some point around lunch. I told Kathy we were going to sit down with burgers and hotdogs around one."
"And the employees?" John asked.
"Manny and Marcus L. are hosting a huge party down by the large arena." James said. "With everything going on, they wanted to give us more privacy this year. Some may wander up here throughout the day. The guys will be setting the fireworks off in the field across the road around ten pm tomorrow night."
"Sounds good." Chief said. "Now, if you don't mind, I would like to be excused with my wife, we have a few things that we need to discuss."
"Breakfast when you come down in the morning." Gran said. "We still have plenty of waffles or you can make something else."
"Thank you." Chief said. "Good night and we will see you in the morning."
The Burkes headed upstairs. The rest of the adults looked around the table. Gran quickly went over the schedule for the next day. Then Frank, Nathan, Doug and Lee excused themselves to head downstairs and watch TV. John, James and Gran sat with a cup of tea at the table.
"What are we going to do?" John said.
"About what?" James asked.
"This wedding." John said. "The moment Thomas and Charlotte get wind of it, they are going to either try to come between them or try to take over."
"Elizabeth said they weren't inviting either set of parents." Gran said. "Neither wants to deal with the drama and they want to keep it quiet for as long as possible. In all honesty, I don't think JP and Elizabeth have thought much about including people who aren't already here, extended family included."
"I had a little bit of that conversation with JP earlier." John said. "I think that there is a part of Jack that would like all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins from your side to be there. But then there is the other part of JP that would prefer if it was just us, and a very small circle of close friends. I am going to assume that Doug and Lee are going to stand up with Jack."
"Yes." Gran said. "Probably Nathan as well. Elizabeth asked Caitlin and I think she was going to ask Katie as well. Not sure who her third would be. She wants Bill to walk her down the aisle. She was tossing around the idea of the twins doing the music, and Frank the readings. If they go ring bearer and flower girl I have a feeling that would be Cody and Opal."
"Those choices all make sense for them." James said.
"So what are we going to do about the rest of the family?" Gran asked. "Trish and I had an idea, but haven't run it past Elizabeth and JP."
"I was thinking that as well." John said. "JP said the plan is to have a sit down dinner under a tent here in the backyard. What if instead of inviting people for a wedding, we invite people to a formal dinner to celebrate the engagement and when they get here they learn about the wedding ceremony that was held in private at the Church. Father Mark has the whole Church on hold for us that Friday."
… … … …
"This may not be easy." Father Mark said. "But I need both of you to be completely honest with each other, no matter how awkward this conversation is going to be. You are adults and I expect you to be mature about it."
"Elizabeth." Jack said. "This afternoon when you push the boundaries, I crossed a line and I don't want to do that again. Like I said, sometimes it is physically very painful for me to be around you. You do things to my body that no other woman has ever done to me and even when I am trying my best to be a gentleman, it is difficult. I know that I bear some of the blame, but this afternoon when you pushed me, it was too far and against my beliefs the only way that I was able to get past it was to seek physical release. I tried everything I knew to calm my body down when I went to the gym after you walked away and it wouldn't happen. It hurt so bad, I was shaking and in pain and that led me to do something that I had vowed I wouldn't. I have sought and received forgiveness, but you need to be aware."
When Jack finished speaking, he ducked his head and the pink color in his cheeks deepened.
"I thought all guys sought physical release as you call it." Elizabeth said.
"No." Jack said. "Not all guys do that. This was the first time in six years for me and I hope and pray that it will be the last time I ever do that. It is a sin and something I had vowed I wouldn't do. It was part of the purity pledge."
"Oh." Elizabeth said.
She blushed and ducked her head as well.
"Jack wasn't trying to make you feel bad, Elizabeth." Father Mark said. "He was trying to be honest with you. What happened hurt him. He was wracked with guilt over what happened and from what I gathered very disappointed in himself for not being able to control it."
"We set boundaries and I am asking that we stick to them." Jack said. "If either of us is feeling like they are getting close to that point that they can walk away for a few minutes, no questions asked. If I had walked away when I should have, the rest of this afternoon would never have happened. I don't know what it is like for you as a woman, but I am sure that you were feeling things that you may or may not have felt before. Much of this is very new to both us and for the time being, we need to roll things back. It won't be long and we will be able to express our love to each other as we both desire. But at this moment, we need to come to an agreement that either of us can walk away when we need to calm down."
"You are right." Elizabeth said. "After I walked to my room, it took quite a long time for me to calm my body as well. I even took a cool shower. I didn't seek physical release as you say, but it had crossed my mind. It just has never been something I have done. That doesn't mean that I haven't thought about it or heard about it from other girls. I am so sorry that I pushed you to that point. You know that was never my intent."
"I know it wasn't." Jack said. "But it happened and we both need to be aware of how quickly things can approach that place."
Jack took Elizabeth's hand.
"I am not saying that we can't have any form of physical contact." Jack said. "We just need to respect each other and not push each other. I would suggest that no more French kisses and you maybe not playing with my hair. If there is something that I do that pushes the boundaries, please let me know and I will stop."
"Probably best for you to keep your hands on the outside of my clothes." Elizabeth said.
Jack nodded and ducked his head as he had kind of forgotten about the soft skin on the small of Elizabeth's back. Father Mark just shook his head, since Jack had failed to mention that part. He wasn't going to call him on it as he felt that Jack had punished himself plenty.
"Very good." Father Mark said. "You both were able to clearly communicate what your boundaries were for the next six weeks. If you need to sit down and have further conversations, you have a great foundation."
"Thank you." Jack said.
"There is something that I want you both to do." Father Mark said. "Can you turn so you are facing each other?"
Jack and Elizabeth turned so they were facing each other, their knees touching.
"Jack." Father Mark said. "Please take both of Elizabeth's hands in yours and look her in the eye."
Father Mark waited while Jack did as he asked.
"I want you to repeat after me." Father Mark said. "I also want you to both take this seriously."
"I will." Jack said.
"Me too." Elizabeth said.
"Jack, please repeat after me." Father Mark said. "Elizabeth, I Jack promise."
"Elizabeth. I, Jack, promise."
"To never intentionally hurt you, physically or emotionally." Father Mark said.
"To never intentionally hurt you, physically or emotionally."
"I pledge to always have your best interest at heart." Father Mark said.
"I pledge to always have your best interest at heart."
"So help me God." Father Mark said.
"So help me God."
"Elizabeth." Father Mark said.
Elizabeth nodded. She repeated the same pledge back to Jack line by line.
"I want you both to keep this pledge in mind." Father Mark said. "You have made it to each other in front of God."
"Thank you for helping us." Jack said.
"Before you leave." Father Mark said. "I think we should pray."
"Okay." Elizabeth said.