Chapter 271 – The Second Surprise of the Day
Jack got downstairs and as much as he wanted to go use the punching bag, he knew that would not be a good plan with the show coming up. So he went to his room and grabbed his sketchbook. He then found a spot in the corner. He took some blankets and pillows and made them almost like a little nest. He then sat with his knees drawn up. He started to sketch one thing and then quickly flipped to a new page. Between crying and praying he ended up drawing a few different pictures all with the same theme. His pictures were scattered around him and his sketchbook still in his lap when he closed his eyes and leaned his head back. The tears rolled down his cheeks and he didn't even bother to wipe them away. He wasn't even sure why he was crying. He had given up hoping in Tommy years before. Maybe it was just the combination of everything that had pushed Jack to his breaking point. He wanted to go back to not feeling and not caring so much, but he also knew it wasn't healthy either. As he sat there once again crying, he prayed to God to help him. Not only was he asking for help with dealing with things but he was asking for God to give him the strength needed to make the hard decisions needed in the coming weeks and months.
Jack was upset and focused on trying to calm down, that he didn't hear anyone come in or even sit down by him. Father Mark had come in and found Jack curled up in the corner. He saw the drawings and picked them up. He was pretty sure they were him, even if you couldn't see his face. He was amazed at how well done they were. He took a moment to gather his thoughts and then he cleared his throat. It was only then did Jack open his eyes and look at him. Father Mark could tell that Jack had been crying, besides the tear streaks on his face, Jack's eyes were red.
"These are really good." Father Mark said, pointing to the stack of drawings he had gathered between them.
"Thanks." Jack mumbled as he ducked his head.
"No need to be embarrassed." Father Mark said. "I need to ask, are these of me?"
"And if they are?" Jack asked softly.
"I am fine." Father Mark said. "I was just curious. Normally you draw horses and landscapes. I have never seen you draw people. That is just all."
"I hadn't intended on drawing them when I sat down." Jack said. "I started one of some horses, but got frustrated, then took a moment and when I put pencil to paper again, those came out."
"Well they are really amazing." Father Mark said. "Can you tell me about the one of the hand, there seems to be two different ones of roughly the same drawing with a third being very similar."
"I don't know." Jack said. "I was thinking how you have always been there to pick me up and that is what I drew. Then I was thinking how Christ does the same thing, so I drew a second hand reaching out and it didn't seem right until I put the wounds on His hand."
"Okay." Father Mark said. "That makes sense. So the other three seem to be during Mass when the Consecration of the Eucharist happens. My question is why are there different colored vestments?"
"I am not sure." Jack said. "The one in white/cream I guess I was thinking of the wedding and the other one this past Sunday. The other one where it is just your arms, I just grabbed the purple so it could be lent or advent, I know it is the wrong shade of purple, but it was all I had in the colored pencils."
"I guess that makes sense." Father Mark said. "And there is no wrong shade of purple unless it is like neon. I actually like this color you have chosen better than the more bright purple that I have currently. What about the one where it appears I am carrying the Monstrance for Adoration. I don't think you have ever been here for that."
"No." Jack said. "But I have been to Adoration before and seen the procession so I used the image of you and the procession I saw at the retreat in March. It wasn't hard to combine the images. Then why didn't you say something, I would have gotten you different vestments. I know that Gran and Grandpa bought you the set you have, when you were ordained, as a gift to you."
"It is okay." Father Mark said. "I don't mind the vestment set they got me, they just went with what the Bishop's assistant sent when they asked. I just happened to see a set I like more a few months ago, but they cost several thousand dollars and I don't have the money and I didn't think it was fair to ask them for another set."
"I will get them for you." Jack said. "If you show me, I have no problem. I know that your white/cream vestment is more cream and I have a white set picked out for the wedding that I have ordered."
"You didn't have to do that." Father Mark said.
"I wanted to." Jack said. "Besides, I like the white white better than the linen cream."
Father Mark sighed as he knew he wasn't going to win. He figured he might as well show Jack the set of vestments that he wanted or Jack wasn't going to let it go. But at the moment he needed to change the subject.
"Again." Father Mark said. "I want to tell you how great these are and it is a shame that you hide them from people, especially the person they are about."
"Again, I had never intended to draw these, much less for you to see them." Jack said. "I have never really shared my drawings. I think it was because Ma made me feel ashamed about the few things that she did see."
"You shouldn't be ashamed." Father Mark said.
"I know." Jack said. "I am still struggling with people knowing about the things I do. I have been so afraid for years that Ma will find out about the drawing or the music and suck the fun out of those things as well. I mean I think she knew about the drawing, sort of. But I am sure it was never more than the doodling I left on random papers that she would call a waste of time. I am honestly trying, but it isn't easy.
People may see me as a confident rider and someone who has it all together, but there are times I feel like that little six year old boy who was so proud to run to his mother and show her what he had drawn, only to be berated and belittled, having the drawing called childish and a waste of time. Ma said that I should have been working on my reading or math or my riding and not wasting time doing silly things."
"I am sorry that happened." Father Mark said. "Your mother did a huge disservice to you when she didn't encourage your natural abilities and only found fault with what you did. She stunted your growth and I honestly think that is why you turned more into yourself."
"What do you mean?" Jack asked.
"I remember you as a very energetic and outgoing toddler." Father Mark said. "You babbled all the time and always wanted to be with people doing everything everyone else was doing. As you got to be school age, you started to become more quiet and withdrawn. I was a child myself, but as I look back and think about those times, I realize how different you became. It has only been as you shared what your mother did that I realized it was because of her tearing you down all the time. No wonder you always loved being up here, I know that Gran and Grandpa loved on you unlike what you were getting at home."
"I never thought about it like that." Jack said. "I am trying to break out of old habits."
"Just try to remember we all love and support you here." Father Mark said. "I know it is hard to change a mindset after hearing one thing for so many years, but you need to, not only for yourself but for Elizabeth and your future family."
"I have a question for you." Jack said. "But I don't want you to think I am having second thoughts or cold feet. I just want your honest opinion."
"Okay." Father Mark said. "You know I have always been honest with you, even when it has been difficult."
Jack nodded and then let out a sigh.
"I am starting to feel that people think I am rushing into things and I haven't thought them through." Jack said. "I love Elizabeth and I can't wait to start our life together, but with everything else going on, do you think we are rushing it?"
Father Mark rubbed his hand over his face and thought for a moment. He needed to figure out how to say what he wanted without it sounding like he didn't believe in Jack. He also wanted to know where the thoughts were coming from.
"If I wouldn't have had several conversations with both of you." Father Mark said. "I might think that you are rushing it. If I was speaking to the Jack that had been up here between Christmas and New Years, I would think that you are rushing it. But right now, sitting right here talking to you. No, I don't think you are rushing it. Have people been married in shorter times? Yes, I might not have personally witnessed any of those marriages working out, but as far as I know, most of those people don't have the conviction of faith that you do."
"Anything else?" Jack asked.
"I would ask you why you are letting people who don't know you get in your head." Father Mark said. "What happened?"
"It was something that was said at the show." Jack said. "Then again I heard a few comments while we were out on Sunday. I also made the mistake of going online and reading some of the comments on an editorial that was written about me and returning to jumping."
"What was said that bothers you so much?" Father Mark asked.
"The person who wrote the article basically said I returned to jumping to impress some new girl who doesn't even ride." Jack said. "I know that I shouldn't let this random person bother me, but there were many comments from people I used to jump with that were surprised I was with a girl at all because they had never seen me with anyone and they all assumed I was gay or just not into dating at all."
"But you aren't into dating." Father Mark reminded him. "You went out with Sarah because your mother made you. From what you told me, you never saw them as dates that would lead to a future."
"True." Jack said. "It was just hard to read."
"I am sure it was." Father Mark said. "But you need to let it go. The people who matter know the truth and that is all that matters. You have found a rare thing in Elizabeth and personally, I am happy for you. I know that you might not have it easy at times getting married so young, but I think if you guys work to make sure you communicate and solve problems together, I have no doubt that you will make it a success."
"Thank you." Jack said. "It is just hard. So much has changed in the last few months. This was not how I had planned on spending the summer and I certainly had no intention of getting married at eighteen. I always thought I would be done with school before that happened."
"Then you need to trust in God's timing and why he brought you and Elizabeth together." Father Mark said. "Because I can say without doubt that you two were made for each other. So hold on to that and keep praying for strength and I will keep praying as well."
"Thank you." Jack said. "I was letting outside voices get to me. I know I shouldn't but sometimes it is hard, especially with everything else going on. I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things have been going so good for a while here and it feels like it is all going to fall apart."
"I can understand why you feel like that." Father Mark said. "But I am pretty sure that Gran meant business when she kicked your parents out and your grandparents put their foot down with Tommy. I don't see any of the three of them backing down. They have all seen what your parents and Tommy have done to you and I am sure that they feel guilty that things had gotten so bad before they stepped in. So please try to think about the positive.
You have a show coming up this weekend and it is going to be amazing with all the work that you have put in and it will be so good for the ranch. Each day you are one day closer to the wedding and being with Elizabeth. So please try to focus on the good things. I mean even the video that was done of Nathan, Doug and you helped. From what Lee said this afternoon, all the classes are full and there were even others that you all added so most of the lower three classes have closer to thirty people signed up."
"Wow." Jack said. "I guess I didn't realize that. I was letting Lee and Elizabeth handle that and if they needed something to come to me. I guess they asked if they could add some to the lower classes, but I wasn't listening to the numbers as I was thinking about something else."
"Well." Father Mark said. "That is a good thing. The Jack from a few months ago would have been micromanaging everything."
Jack just grinned and ducked his head. Father Mark laughed and shook his head.
"Now." Father Mark said. "Let's go upstairs. There is still a lot to do and I have let you sulk long enough."
"I wasn't sulking." Jack protested.
Father Mark just raised his eyebrow at Jack.
"Okay." Jack said. "I was sulking a little bit, but was also trying to work things out in my head."
"I understand that." Father Mark said. "But it is time to join the others. Like I said, there is a lot to do before tomorrow."
"Okay." Jack said. "Let's head upstairs. Sounds like something is going on up there."
"I wouldn't be surprised." Father Mark said. "It has been busy around here."
… … … …
The second surprise arrived in the form of Father Mark's little sister, Emily. She got to Coal Creek and almost couldn't get in. She was still shaking her head when she knocked on the door. Emily wondered what was going on. She had never seen so much security at her grandparents' place. She also had never seen so many people. Emily showed up to see her grandparents. She had stopped at her parents house but it was full so without talking to anyone, she decided to go stay with her grandparents, not realizing that they also had a house full. She figured she could crash in Laura's old room until she figured things out.
"Emily." Abigail said, when she opened the door.
"Mrs Avery." Emily said.
"We are adults." Abigail said. "You can call me Abigail. Please come in. Your grandmother is in the kitchen with Trish Burke. We are just finishing up a batch of cookies and figuring out what else to make."
"Let me just run my stuff down to Laura's room." Emily said.
"You better talk to your grandmother first." Abigail said.
Emily just looked at Abigail, but set her two bags inside the door and followed Abigail to the kitchen.
"Emily Louise." Gran said, in surprise.
"Hi, Gran." Emily said, softly.
"What are you doing here?" Gran asked.
"Mom and Dad have a houseful." Emily said. "So I thought I would crash in Laura's room until I can figure things out."
"Sorry." Gran said. "We have a houseful as well. It might have been different if you had called. We are putting on a show this weekend and JP has friends here for the summer since they are jumping."
"Gran." Elizabeth said. "I can crash with the twins for a few days."
"No." Gran said. "I gave you that room and told you, you were welcome to stay there as long as you were here. It is not your fault that Emily decided to surprise us."
"Who are you?" Emily said.
Gran shot Emily a sharp look.
"She is JP's …" Gran said, looking back at Elizabeth.
"Fiancée." Elizabeth said.
"JP is engaged!" Emily said. "Wait until my friends all hear about this."