I was so relieved when Ms. White's car stopped in front of my house, that I've had to go on enormous lengths to appear calm and give her a proper goodbye. I knocked on the door but no one answered, so I had to take out my own set of keys and open it myself. I carried my suitcase inside and closed the door behind me.
"Jeremy! Aunt Jenna! Guys I'm home!"
I frowned when nobody answered. They knew that I would be back today, but they didn't know the exact time, so I assumed that they went to the Grill or something, considering the early hour and absolute incapacity of Elena and Aunt Jenna to cook.
I chuckled to myself when the thought of them eating only toasts for five days without me being around to cook proper meals came to my mind. I picked up my suitcase and sighed heavily before heading upstairs, dreaming about hot shower and fresh clothes.
I walked into my room and looked around. Everything was exactly as I've left it. My mind drifted away to the happy times when me and my father decorated it. Unlike Elena's room, decorated and furnished in light colors, looking very delicate and feminine, mine was the exact opposite. It was decorated in all shades of brown, from a lovely beige color of rugs, pillows, bed sheets and curtains, to a dark brown color of furniture consisting of a wrought iron bed, a desk with million little things scattered on it, a wardrobe with carved wooden doors and finally my beautiful wooden bookshelves which entirely covered one of the walls. I went to my wardrobe and picked out a simple tee and sweatpants to change and headed to the bathroom.
After taking long relaxing shower I was in the kitchen, finishing the salad while mac 'n' cheese was waiting for its time in the oven. Caroline just texted me asking to meet her at the Grill in a few hours, dying to learn all about my trip, when the front door opened and I heard Jeremy's voice.
"Do I smell Thalia's favorite mac 'n' cheese or am I hallucinating?"
"Aww is my baby brother hallucinating, 'cause he missed his favorites sister so much?" I asked walking out of kitchen with a huge grin on my face.
"Thalia!", "You are back!", "Oh my God!" They all exclaimed at the same time rushing towards me. Jeremy was the first to reach me and engulfed me in a bone breaking hug. I returned it with the same effort smiling like an idiot when Elena and Aunt Jenna joined us.
"Why didn't you call us to say that you are arriving early? I would've cooked something..." Aunt Jenna paused for a second thinking about what she'd just said then continued sheepishly, "... or ordered a takeout."
"No it's okay, I just wanted to get home as fast as possible and totally forgot about calling you guys. Anyways, I know that you might be returning from the Grill, but I was so hungry and the thought of starving Jeremy was breaking my heart so I prepared some salad and mac 'n' cheese. Would you like some?" I asked heading back to the kitchen.
"Go ahead, make fun of your old aunt's cooking abilities," Jenna said rolling her eyes but didn't look offended at all.
"I didn't mean only you though," I said throwing an accusing look towards Elena before taking out mac 'n' cheese from the oven. "I am so going to sign you up for some cooking classes, young lady."
Jeremy laughed at Elena's shocked expression while me and Jenna set the table. I could feel my heart squeezing seeing my family happy, it was such a heartwarming scene comparing to the depressing first weeks. We were laughing, teasing each other and eating and it felt amazing. I told them about my trip excluding supernatural events, and they were so genuinely happy and I can swear I saw a glimpse of tears in Aunt Jenna's eyes.
We were having such a good time that I almost didn't want to leave, but I promised Caroline. So I took the keys of my beloved BMW X6 and headed to the Grill.
Caroline was as hyperactive as always, God bless her. I was almost suffocated to death that's how bad she missed me.
"I missed you too Caroline," I said returning the hug. We sat at the booth and made our orders. "So tell me how was the cheerleading camp?"
"It was fine, but would've been better if you and Elena were there," she said sadly and I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently to comfort her.
"I can understand the part about Elena but I'm not even on the team Caroline."
"But you could've been if you wanted to, you have such an amazing body, I know what you are capable of, it's like you are a professional gymnast rather than MMA fighter," she whined slightly and I chuckled at her childish behavior. She always wanted me to join the cheerleading squad, but I had too much on my plate already so I refused every time. "Enough about cheerleading, tell me about your trip," she demanded excitedly.
"Well it was fine, but to be honest I don't remember first two days that much," I said feeling my cheeks getting hotter.
"What? Why? Were you too nervous or..." Then she probably saw my red face and I had to hold my laughter because the mix of shock and happiness on her face was too funny. "You've met someone! Oh my God, you are blushing! I've never seen you blush before! Tell me EVERYTHING!"
We were chatting for almost an hour when I noticed Vicki Donovan looking at me weirdly with a strange mix of smugness and fear. The two of us never got along to be honest, I despised her but learned to ignore her when her brother and my sister started dating. Matt was a sweet guy and he deserved better than his slut of a mother who was never around and his drug whore of a sister. She even had the guts to call my sister a slut for hurting her little brother's feelings (as if she gave a flying fuck about his feelings, jealous little bitch) and I had to threaten to rip out her tongue If she utters my sister's name ever again.
"What is wrong with the druggie? She looks like she slept with my boyfriend but is too scared of me to say it to my face." Caroline followed the direction of my gaze and her expression changed instantly to one of despise.
"You won't like what I'm gonna tell you," she looked at me hesitatingly but I gestured ger to continue. "I've heard from Amber, who heard from her cousin who loves to hang out at the stoners' pit, that he saw Jeremy there, and apparently Vicki was all over him."
I closed my eyes for a second suppressing my anger, not wanting to make a scene by killing the slut in front of everyone. I was so angry that I even felt the shifting of the scarce amount of magic that I have left which was a rare thing lately. Bitch was lucky that I wasn't at my best, hexing her would've made me feel so much better.
"Calm down Thalia, you can't kill her here, there are too many witnesses." Caroline whispered hotly, throwing glances around as if I was about to start a God honest bloodbath any moment. That's why Caroline was my best friend, she knew me so well sometimes I even thought she could read my mind.
"Oh I'm not gonna kill her right now. She did the only thing that can really get me, she went for my family. She will never know what'll hit her."
And once again I knew that she would get what she deserved, so I didn't even have to do anything at the moment. That's why I decided to concentrate on a dinner with my best friend instead of thinking about a perfect way to kill Vicki Donovan.
Once I got home, I went straight to Jeremy's room, knocked on his door and waited till he invited me in. I found him playing a video game on his computer, but decided to not interrupt him, so I went straight to his bed and lay down with a heavy sigh.
"Hey, what's up?" Jeremy asked, eyes remaining on the screen.
"Nothing," I said after a long pause. I was lying on my brother's bed, silently watching him play and didn't know what to say. I wanted to help him so bad but I didn't know how. I felt like I was failing my parents, I was the oldest and it was my job to take care of my little brother and sister and I was failing. I felt so desperate, my eyes were burning but I didn't allow myself to cry. I was so deep in my thoughts that I missed Jeremy talking to me again. That's why I was really startled when I felt him stroking my hair in attempt to get my attention.
"Hey, are you alright? You look like you are about to cry. It is really freaking me out," he asked, sitting down beside me. I looked at him for a second then put my head on his lap sighing tiredly.
"I was just thinking about stuff, you know. I don't know what to do." I felt so vulnerable at that moment that it was making me sick in my stomach.
"I've never seen you like this. Please tell me what's wrong. You are really freaking me out right now. Did I do something?"
I just kept looking at him, I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to make everything worse.
"You know how dad always told you and Elena to listen to me, how he told me to always take care of you two?" he nodded hesitantly not being sure where I was going with this. "If he was watching us now, I think he would've been really disappointed in me. I'm failing him."
"Hey, what are you talking about? Y-you are doing a great job. It was you who helped me and Elena out of depression, you helped me when I was at my worst," he said quickly, his eyes filling with tears.
"Then why did you go there again? And with Vicki of all people, which is even worse. Why Jeremy?" I covered my eyes with my hand trying so hard not to cry.
"I'm so sorry Thalia, I swear I'll never do that again," his voice broke and I couldn't hold my tears anymore.
"How can I trust you? You've promised me before that you would never do that again, but did it anyway," I said, taking my hand away from my face, so I could see him.
"I'm sorry, okay? You weren't here and I was feeling like hell, and then Vicki said that it would make me feel better and I..."
"And you let her convince yourself. Look Jer, I know how painful this is, I really do. I feel like I'm dying from grief all the time. Yes it is easier to get high or drunk, and forget about the pain, and sometimes I feel like doing that as well, but... then I remember about times when I didn't have them, when I was all alone and no one gave a shit about me. I don't want to stop thinking about them even for a second Jeremy. The pain that I feel tells me that they were real, that they were in my life, that they gave me everything I have right now, gave me family, gave me you," I said looking at him with tears running down the sides of my face and noticed him crying as well, and it was breaking my heart but I needed to make him understand. "They deserve to be remembered, Jeremy."
He finally broke down and I made him lie down beside me and hugged him tightly. I was vaguely aware of quite sobs that could be heard from the corridor, probably Elena or Aunt Jenna eavesdropping, but I didn't care.
I don't know for how long we lay like this, crying and hugging each other, but eventually we managed to calm down.
"I'm sorry, Thalia, I didn't want to disappoint you," Jeremy whispered quietly.
"Hey, look at me," I lifted his chin up with my finger so I could look him in the eyes, "I could never be disappointed in you, no matter what you do, do you understand?" I waited for him to nod and then planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Now tell me what that bitch wanted from you?"
It was hard to tell in the dark but I can swear I saw him blush. He tried to escape my gaze but I was still holding his chin so I didn't let him. At first I didn't understand why he was reacting like that, but then it hit me.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I can't describe how angry I was at that moment. And for the second time that day I felt my magic shifting inside uncomfortably answering to my anger.
"I always wanted to ask why do you hate her so much?" he asked, trying to change the subject, and seeing how uncomfortable he was I decided to let it go.
"I don't hate her, Jer, hate is too strong of an emotion for that wench. I despise her. She's just a jealous little bitch, always whining about how everyone else has everything that she doesn't, but she does nothing to change that. And Matt, on the other hand, is trying so hard to change his life while she, instead of helping her little brother I might add, is just making everything harder for him. Have you ever heard Matt complaining about his life, even once? Me, neither." I took a deep breath to calm myself a bit, then continued. "It's just... I always imagine us in their place and I can't even see myself letting you down like that. I'm your older sister and I will do anything for you. And she should too. But she's jealous, selfish and ungrateful little bitch." I stopped talking when I felt him hugging me tightly.
"I love you too Thalia. Thank you for always being here for me."
"I am and I'll always be, even if you don't want me to," I joked to make him ease up a little bit. "Anyways, that's not the only reason that I am angry at her. I had a run-in with her a few weeks after the funeral, she said that Elena broke Matt's heart and went on about making her pay until I explained to her how wrong she was to threaten my sister. Don't look at me like that, I didn't even break anything, just threatened to rip her to shreds, if she ever comes closer to my family again."
Jeremy laughed quietly at my murderous expression and I put my head on his shoulder, hugging him across his chest with my left arm. And we lay there like that for hours, speaking about everything in the world.
I left Jeremy's room when he fell asleep and stopped in the hallway for a moment, thinking about what to do. There was something that I wanted to check out, but I couldn't do it at home, so I went to my room and took out the mini fridge, which I hid under my bed. I opened it and hesitated for a moment looking at the bottles full of blood, before taking one of them out. I went to the bookshelf, grabbed my grimoire and put it in my backpack along with the bottle of Nik's blood.
Now, you are probably thinking, why her grimoire was just lying there, where anyone could take it? The answer is my bookshelf is charmed so no one would pay attention to the magic books, they just wouldn't be able to see them. I actually did a lot of work around the house, so many runic arrays are used here, making this place one of the safest. It's protected from supernatural creatures, from any kinds of magic and even from humans with bad intentions.
I went downstairs to grab something to eat before I left and stumbled upon Aunt Jenna, who was sitting there alone, sipping from the glass of wine. She looked quite upset and I assumed that it was her who was eavesdropping near Jeremy's room earlier.
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked quietly, gently stroking her hair. "You look sad."
She looked a little confused for a second, obviously surprised to see me, but quickly recovered and gave me a sad smile.
"I'm okay honey, just thinking." I knew what she was thinking about, we both were worried about the same thing. I felt really sorry for Aunt Jenna, she was so young yet she had to take care of three of us, while she was probably still figuring out how to take care of herself.
"You know that I'm always here for you right?" I asked, hugging her tightly.
"I should be telling you that," she laughed. "Sometimes I forget that you are only seventeen. You are doing a great job, you know? I'm so happy that you are doing this, I have no idea what I would've done without you."
I kissed her on the forehead before going to find something to eat. I opened the fridge, grabbed a can of Coke and few chocolate bars and shoved them into my backpack.
"You are going as usual?" she asked, not surprised with my actions at all. It wasn't the first time I went out in the middle of the night to my usual place "to think". That's what my therapist said, "from time to time she needs some time for herself". And no one ever questioned it, not even my parents. I was always the responsible one, so they were completely okay with letting me have some alone time, even in the middle of the night.
"Yeah, I won't be out for too long. Go to sleep, don't wait for me," I said kissing her on the cheek and headed to the front door. "And don't drink too much, or you'll be feeling like shit tomorrow."
"Language!" Was the last thing I heard from her before I closed the door.
The one thing that I loved as a witch in living in a small town like Mystic Falls, was the forest. The closeness to nature means a lot to me, I think I would never be able to live in a big city like LA or New York.
It was really dark outside, and it became even darker, when I reached the forest, but I had a good night vision so I was okay. While walking through the forest I was thinking about this weird feeling that's been gnawing inside me since I left the house. Like someone was watching me. I couldn't sense anyone near, but my gut was telling me otherwise, so I decided to be safe than sorry and cast a little spell upon myself. The spell scattered attention that was directed at me and It wasn't as draining as my other spells so I ignored the pain. I listened to myself and when I didn't feel any attention on me anymore, just continued my walk.
Meanwhile, Stefan Salvatore, who was watching Elena Gilbert after he saved her from drowning in the lake, to figure out why she looked exactly like Katherine Pierce, his long lost love, was really confused. He was watching Elena like he had been doing for a few months now, and when he saw her weird older sister heading to the forest in the middle of the night, he became really curious and decided to follow her. He noticed that she felt free in the forest, not tripping even once. She was walking with dedication, like it wasn't the first time. Suddenly she stopped and Stefan, thinking that she probably reached her destination, watched her curiously. She stood there very still for a second, then shuddered like she was cold and started looking around. Stefan had this really strange feeling like she knew that he was watching her, but shrugged it off. He heard a little noise not far away from him and looked in that direction only to find that it was just a squirrel. When he looked back a second later, the girl was gone.
Later that night I was sitting at my personal meadow in the Lotus position in deep meditation. I said my personal, because when I found it seven years ago, when I was wandering through the forest in search of a quiet place to practice my magic, I did everything in my power to hide it from everyone. I put so many shielding runes and spells around it that it doesn't exist for anyone else except for me.
I came here not just to meditate. Today I realized something very important - my grandma put some kind of suppressing spell on my magic core. I haven't thought of that before because I was so overwhelmed with sorrow, grief, betrayal and sadness, that I wasn't able to see the bigger picture. I forgot that unlike other witches' magic, magic of my bloodline cannot be taken away. But it can be sealed, suppressed.
Today my magic reacted more times than it did in last few months, and the only thing that's changed, was the fact that I drank Nik's blood. And that day when we were attacked I used powerful magic, well powerful comparing to other spells that I used after the accident. To be honest, since the day when I tried to use a spell with suppressed magic for the first time and felt an overwhelming pain, I barely tried anymore. I was too afraid. And it wasn't like me at all. I was never afraid of physical pain. I let myself just accept defeat and haven't even tried to fix the problem. And it wasn't like me at all!
Now it was time to finally face the problem. To face the pain.
The very first thing that my grandma taught me was how to meditate. Witches of our bloodline could look inside themselves, at their magical "body" through meditation, and for the first time since the accident I decided to do just that. And I immediately saw the cause of all my troubles. My magical body was weak, even weaker than it was when I saw it for the first time when I was ten. It was weak and dim and my magical core was trapped in some type of a field. And that exact field was suppressing my powers.
This field wasn't a permanent thing, with every use of magic it should weaken, until it's completely gone. It would be painful as hell, but I took out the bottle of Nik's blood, put it right in front of me and with a deep breath cast one of the most powerful spells in my arsenal.
And then I screamed.
I woke up on the forest floor, face soaked with tears and blood, lying in a circle of scorched earth. I could barely move, but I was able to reach for the bottle of blood and take a few gulps. As soon as I felt better, I slowly sat up and checked the time. I was out for fifteen minutes. That wasn't bad at all.
I concentrated and looked at my magical core and couldn't contain the tears of joy. The suppressing shield was weakened, the changes were almost nonexistent but it was something.
I wiped the tears from my cheeks and my own blood from under my nose, checked if Nik's blood was at arm's length and started chanting again.
It promised to be a long night.
I didn't remember how I got home. I felt like a zombie, moving on autopilot. I quietly opened the front door with my key and sighed tiredly looking at the stairs. I freaking hated stairs. I'm not gonna tell you how I managed to climb to my room, the only thing you should know is that it was painful and slow. Very.
As soon as I got into my room I hid the bottle with remaining blood in the mini fridge and went to shower. After the hot water worked it's magic on my tired, aching body, I changed into my pajamas and looked at my bed. It was a long, hard, painful day and I didn't want to sleep alone. So I went to Elena's room where I found her sleeping peacefully and lay down beside her. I gently stroke her hair thinking about how much I missed her.
"Thal?" she whispered quietly in a sleepy voice with her eyes still closed and I laughed quietly at her cuteness.
"It's me, go back to sleep," I whispered back.
She muttered something still in her sleep and hugged me.
I was almost asleep when the strange feeling that I experienced in the woods returned.
Someone was watching us.