DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe. This is my Mito, though.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Mito speaking to Kurama in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Jiraiya hummed for about the dozenth time since Mito began her story, she reckoned. "SO!? Don't just sit there! What do you think?"

Jiraiya frowned. "You need to stop listening to that fox, Mito-chan!"

"You," Mito stuttered, pouting furiously, "y-you need to stop being a… a butt!" Jiraiya only raised a bushy white eyebrow at her. Mito could admit that was not a sick burn by a long shot. In response, she set her hands on her hips and got all sassy about it. "You can't tell me that you hadn't heard that story before! I saw your face! –So don't you dare act like you're all 'bad fox this and bad fox that' when he obviously told me something I'd never heard before but you HAD!"

Jiraiya groaned, guessing that was true enough - if he even understood what she said. Crazy Uzumakis! "I never heard about moon men."

"Well, yeah," Mito admitted, beginning to blush. "I mean, that part of the story is pretty outlandish."

"Nor did I know the Sage's name."

"Right?" Mito said, feeling a little proud that she did and standing up straighter. Kurama hadn't even complained about what she'd said thus far. He'd only demanded that "Indra" not be told and Jiraiya agreed that he wouldn't tell any Uchiha - something he found funny until toward the end of the story - when he'd been appropriately concerned. "Anyway, as far as the yin stuff goes that I know of, Naruto might heal a little less quickly - but not necessarily - and he'll need to do chakra control exercises again, I guess." Jiraiya looked thoughtful and she planned to quiz him more about his knowledge of yin and yang techniques or their sensitivities before she left.

Mito had previously had patients with yin/yang problematic issues listed on their charts but she'd never had trouble healing them before - ever. Her chakra just "worked" with them. "Back to the story, Tou-san mentioned that an Otsutsuki was on the toad's summoning contract."

Jiraiya hummed. He'd have to take a look at it sometime and see. Maybe the Great Lord Elder could tell him something about the whole Sage thing - not that he believed the tale by a long shot. That toad was old as hell, though. If anyone would know anything about reincarnating, super-powered brothers, he bet a living fossil would (if said fossil could remember, that is.) "Interesting - and chakra control's always been a struggle with Naruto. …I had heard of 'ninshu' but only of the word," he said more to himself. "Now you need to get out of here."

"What?!" Naruto and Sora had just bedded down for the night (after Naruto chased Mito around, trying to attack her for knocking him out. He was really tired - and mad. He'd been so mad, Mito pinned him and found a very slight, very unusual issue within his Gate of Healing. When he got up, he was in a better mood for all of five seconds before beginning to attack her again - but this time with a smile on his cute face.)

"No! I want to scare the boys in the middle of the night and then tell ghost stories." She might be whining but Mito really wanted to stay.

Jiraiya began chuckling. "You tell terrible stories and you're the one who always gets scared," he recalled. He pulled out a bottle of booze and Mito internally groaned. "I need to talk to you about something anyway. And I guess another hour or so couldn't hurt."

- She was already here, right?

Mito knew that Jiraiya drank and stuff; almost all shinobis did unless they were in treatment but Mito knew that he wasn't one to drink much - or at least that's how he'd been when they were together when she was small. Since being around him as an adult, Mito had only seen him offer up alcohol, himself, when he needed to discuss something serious. "Have your contacts gotten back to you about anything?"

"On the Gato/Missing Persons thing, yes - but that's above your pay grade."

"I hope not. I make a lot of money, really." Mito figured that part of that hefty amount could do good elsewhere. She really needed to start thinking about charitable giving and investments aside from the amount of her pay that, like for all ninjas, went into pre-made deductions or savings on auto-draft; she wasn't a kid anymore. Or maybe I could use that money to get the Uzushio Museum up and running…

"On the Akatsuki front, I don't have much", Jiraiya continued. Really, he didn't WANT to tell her much.

* Three of his contacts that had been looking into the organization had been taken out, all in the same week.
* Word had gotten around and the lines of communication in his spy network were a mess because of it.
* Worse, his people were afraid.

"There are some things that we can assume, however, which is why you need to stay away from Naruto. –At least for a while," he said, leaving her hanging.

"What happened?"

Jiraiya sighed and poured each of them another shot. "You know that whatever it is that this Akatsuki wants, they're tailing jinchuurikis or trying to find out who they are, at least. All except for YOU." He didn't have proof of the Akatsuki doing that with every tailed-beast holder, but it only made sense considering that he knew of at least four who had been made, plus Killer-B, whom everyone knew of. "YOU, who identified and put the hurt on Obito; YOU who became a jinchuuriki right in front of him, correct?"

"Yes," Mito said in a desperately small voice. She knew what he was saying. "You think Obito will get back at me by going after Naruto. -But Obito could be dead!" Mito hoped that he was dead - and it's not like she hadn't worried about this before. "And maybe they haven't tailed me since they already know who and what I am. …We also don't know if Obito saw Naruto become a jinchuuriki, too. I… I think he disappeared just as that went down." I passed out, though, and couldn't see as the fox's chakra burned through me.

"Maybe," Jiraiya admitted.

"If Naruto's in danger, then I'm the one who should be beside him, protecting him." That only made sense! Really, she'd be a lot better choice than Jiraiya, whether Naruto was a toad summoner or not.

"The council won't allow it." Mito looked like she would blow her stack so Jiraiya raised his hands in acquiescence. He agreed with her, somewhat. Minato was also afraid that someone - Akatsuki or not - would get hold of both of his children if they were outside of the village (or not) in a controlled environment like they were now, although eventually, they would be together. When Naruto's stronger. "That includes the Shinobi Council, Mito-chan. You have been deemed to have a status and skills worthy or befitting of Konoha - in Konoha - whereas Naruto is or does not. Or does not have that status yet."

"That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard. –What? If I was so skilled, then why did they send me away for a decade in the first place? Don't they remember that I'm a scary nuke, too? And Naru's an official Genin!"

"Please don't say that nuke crap." Jiraiya got up to go get larger glasses; it looked like they were going to need them. "People are ignorant, Mito-chan. You're incredible with seals; you're a clan head, a Jonin, and a med-nin who fights like a teleporting, chain-wielding Tsunade. The village needs you."

Mito clenched her teeth before downing an outrageous amount of very strong liquor from her water glass, all in one go. She wanted to scream but only found that she could twitch and then want to pound something really badly. "The village… can sssssuck it!" She may have made a shocking and lewd gesture just to prove how much she felt that way.

"Shh, shh, shh," Jiraiya hushed her, giggling. He laughed harder at seeing Mito hide her red face when she realized that Akimichi Chouza had heard and seen her just now. Chouza was here at the Southern Base training with his clansmen for their monthly thing. He was a good guy; he'd raised his eyebrows at the two of them but then just shook his head and walked out of the cafeteria they were in. "Be careful in saying stuff like that, hime."

"Ugh. Don't call me that."

"It's a term of endearment," he grinned cheesily.

"Oh," Mito said, guessing that was alright. Jiraiya did use to call her that before her father had become Hokage, just as a cute thing to call a little girl. "Okay, then. –I'd still prefer it if you just called me by my name, ya know."

"I know that Mito; I know. …Alright! Let's have a little more of our chat, get a little tipsy or tipsier, then wake up the boys and scare the crap out of 'em! But don't tell them I said that."

"Yes! Thank you, Ero-ojii!"

"You damn brat; don't call me that!"

Later, Naruto and Sora gripped each other's clothes as Jiraiya dramatically expanded on Mito's shitty ghost stories about zombies and cannibals that would come for their souls if they didn't mind their elder sisters and grandfathers.

Jiraiya woke up around 0500 and jumped up, whirling his goddaughter around. Mito looked thunderstruck and had been looking at what was one of his two most important large scrolls. "That is my father's handwriting," she said worriedly.

"You know better than to get into my stuff." Jiraiya was angry.

"It was partly open," Mito informed him. Even now the seal wasn't closed and she hadn't touched it other than to - uhhhh - straighten it. Yeah, that's a good word for what I was doing.

Jiraiya closed his eyes and sat back down on his bedroll, rubbing his aching head. He really needed more sleep.

"I want to look at it. The whole thing."

Jiraiya blew out a stream of air, trying to decide whether it would matter or not. "Go on then." Mito might figure out a way to overpower it anyway. And it's not like seal masters would let a good seal go to waste: they had to see and dissect them all.

Considering its large size, Mito unfurled as much of the scroll as she could, taking in its every component. Spread out and on paper like this, it was much like the seal that was holding in the fox in her gut - and in Naruto's. "Oh, this is the key, huh? I didn't know where it was."

"Nnnngh. Enma had it."

"Why is it in my father's handwriting? I thought our primary seals were the same; and that Ojii-san made them."

And why did you take it from Monkey King Enma?

Jiraiya groaned and wiped a hand over his face. "Sensei must've ripped the scroll off of Minato. Or… I don't know. When I saw it, I recognized Minato's script and was puzzled."

Mito closed part of it and continued unrolling the rest, trying to memorize what she could of it. Considering that one of these days, she'd be letting Kurama out, she needed to know what she was doing - especially if she needed to do it quickly. "I guess," she began but then frowned when she saw the sacrificial component of the seal. "'Twin seals,' huh? That's what I was told, but no; Ojii-san just stole my father's work."

"Hey," Jiraiya replied almost cheerily, "Sensei was a great ninja! One of the greatest of all time! Ninjas steal things." Mito gave him a dirty look. "He asked me about a twin seal, though - but that was essentially what your father wrote, wasn't it?"

"Naruto's eight trigrams is overkill," Mito knew. Really, either one of the jutsus casters could've gone with a variety of four-point or other seals and have been done with it. "Not that I want to do any tailed-beast splitting but do you have to kill yourself in order to get the job done?" What a bunch of bullshit.

"That is highly disrespectful!"

"Sorry." It's also disrespectful to split someone in half!

"And I'm not really sure about the necessity of it. Ask your father."

Mito snorted. "No thanks."

For a few minutes, Jiraiya was lost in thought about that terrible night - although he was unconscious and/or bleeding out for the worst part of it. "Hiruzen-sensei had asked me about a twin seal and some other crap: that's what brought me back to the village that night." In a lower voice, he added, "he probably used a jutsu to copy Minato's scroll."

"You didn't plan to be in the village?" Mito thought that was beyond uncool and almost… traitorous. She'd bet money that Jiraiya knew that her mother was going to be induced when she was. Sarutobi Hiruzen knew, and they were close.

"No. Minato sent me out beforehand and I got tied up." He raised his hands at the look he received from his goddaughter. Maybe his pervy ways were getting in the way of healthy, trusting relationships. Either that or maybe Mito was simply now, even more, put out with or wary of her father. "I was on assignment and actually went against orders to come back to the village and see what was going on."

Mito shook her head, feeling aggravated that her father was as stubborn as he was. "There was 'an intruder' on the site before that night. I mean, I'm now sure it was Obito, considering the teleportation: that asshole of a traitor. Tou-san and I checked it out and laid down more seals before everything went down. My father didn't tell you?"

"No. Not until after the fact. –I was concerned about something sensei mentioned and… I got hit by the little shit when I approached the cave your mother was in. I may have been the first - or one of the first to go down." That was embarrassing; Obito must have teleported in behind him.

- Before everything went black, Jiraiya remembered looking down and seeing a blade sticking out of his gut. One of these days, he wanted to get a proper rematch.

"I will lkill him if Obito's not dead already," Mito said firmly. She was pissed off as hell again - just like every time she thought of what had happened that horrible night. A night that should've only been joyous, and would have been if not for Obito. Jiraiya didn't say anything but he did look at her with incredibly sad eyes that she didn't want to read into. "Why's this here and not with Enma, anyway?"

Jiraiya grinned, knowing that she wouldn't be happy with the real reason he asked Hideki for it. "Curiosity!"

Mito sweat dropped. "...killed the cat. –No; Jiraiya. Seriously. Why is it here?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "I always keep it with me." Mito just kept staring at him. She'd always had this creepy stare that she could pull off, even as a baby. What a stinker. "What can I tell you? The monkeys and Hideki-kun had it and you see, Hideki got himself into some pretty rough trouble and uh… We-ell, we thought it would be best if I kept it. Just in case…"

Mito's eyes had gone wide with fright. "Hideki's hurt?"

"Urrr," Jiraiya grimaced, playing the part of a worried friend. "I promised I wouldn't say…"

"I GOTTA GO!" Mito flashed out of there and Jiraiya lay down and chuckled.

"Ah, that brat is too easy."

As soon as a healthy-looking but furious Sarutobi Hideki came running to answer the splinters and sawdust that were left of what he thought was his anti-Mito reinforced front door, Mito knew that she had been had.

But then Konohamaru had wandered out, wearing his Curious George PJs, and was just so cute, she blew Jiraiya off since she'd already said goodbye to Sora and Naruto after tucking them in the night before.

.

Now that Kiba had weapons that were actually the right weight, Mito decided that it was time to teach him and Hinata some low-ranked wind jutsus so they could get used to using the element. Kakashi had underestimated how strong Kiba was but that was probably because Kiba "forgot" that he was wearing the weight seals Mito had on all of the kids when he advised him on what ax set to choose.

The fact that Kiba could forget such a thing also meant that he was gaining a lot more strength much faster than Mito had anticipated.

She increased the weight on his seals more and more, grinning crookedly when the 13-year-old let out a wimpy groan. "You take these off at night, right?"

Kiba wrinkled his nose. "I forget sometimes. –Plus, it's weird. I always feel like I'm floating when I take them off."

"I like that part," Hinata chirped. She tried not to make a sound as Mito-sensei increased the weight she was wearing as well. Sensei's smiling: she's a sadist! "Do you not enjoy the f-feeling of weightlessness as you fall asleep, Kiba-kun?"

"Meh. I woke up on the ceiling, freaked out, and then lost control of my chakra the other night." Akamaru yipped, thinking it was funny, and Kiba ducked his head. At least his team didn't laugh at that. "I broke my bed."

Hinata then did giggle but Mito thought about that. "Always take them off at night, Kiba. It's not healthy for you to have this much weight on at your age, 24 hours a day" Just to add impact to her words, she told him "If ya don't, you'll end up super short! –Did you have a nightmare or something?"

"I did," Kiba said gravely, shivering just thinking about it. "Ma said we were going to become vegans."

"There is nothing wrong with a vegan lifestyle," Shino said with one eyebrow raised. Most Aburames were vegetarians and they almost all limited meat consumption in some ways. There were also a few vegans among them but most found the lifestyle too tedious to keep up with since they were often assigned missions in the wilderness that could last for months at a time.

Ration bars were not vegan-approved.

"Hey man, I didn't say there was anything wrong with it," Kiba cried, wanting to avoid a Shino lecture. Geez, one time he'd brought up diet and meat and then he'd had to go to the library AGAIN, looking up crap to put on more flashcards for his sensei. Although what I found was interesting. Holy shit: Kiba would never admit that! "Anyway, teach us something cool. Please?"

"I was planning to - but mind your chakra usage, okay? Gai's team is in town training today and I want to race them!"

"Nooooooo," the children cried. Even Shino.

Mito frowned, giving all three of her whiners the stink-eye. "I was only gonna sic my cats on Gai's team but now you three are each getting your own personal cheetahs, too."

"Oh, shit."

Kiba fell back, laughing.

Shino smirked at his blushing kunoichi teammate. At least she wasn't anywhere close to passing out this time. "I thought Hyuugas didn't curse?"

Mito snickered but tried to hide it behind her hair. "Yeah! Watch your shitty language, Hinata. I mean, what the hell?"

"S-sorry, sensei! Sorry, mina!"

"Stop corrupting Hinata-hime, Mito-sensei!"

Mito hummed and winked at her flustered kunoichi student. While she wasn't into corrupting children AT ALL, if cursing once in a blue moon loosened the Hyuuga heiress up and eventually got her to stop stammering? Mito could handle the flack she was sure Hiashi would deal out to her. (To Mito, not Hinata: otherwise, she'd kick Hiashi's ass.) So the answer was, "No. I don't think I will. ...Uh - you're free to speak freely here just be respectful and more importantly, don't use that kind of language around your parents! Please?!"

.

"Your jungle friends are most youthful, Mito-chan." Gai enjoyed seeing his students run for their lives from Mito's four-legged friends. Neji's occasional screaming, in particular, was highly amusing.

"I don't know when they're going to realize that my allies won't hurt them. They just want to race and play."

"Perhaps when your cats stop biting?" Gai wasn't sure if the cats were simply tenderizing everyone for their eventual delicious feast but he would not allow it to work. However much he enjoyed wrestling with Mito's lions and the giant black panther, Gai was determined not to let himself die as jungle cat food.

Mito pulled out the scroll that contained her mother's swords. Gai already looked excited and raring to go. "Show me what you've got, Gai."

Gai was about to pull out his own twin swords but stopped when he saw Mito's stance. "That is all wrong. I am highly unimpressed!"

Mito grimaced. How could Gai look so excited - white teeth sparkling and *PINGING* excited - about her not knowing what she was doing? "Well, straighten me out, please."

"Yosh," Gai easily agreed but did reach out his senses, searching for his rival or others. Mito-chan had many admirers although most were terrified of her.

Kakashi was known to lurk in the shadows and the last thing he needed was Kakashi believing he was interested in Mito-chan. Although… Maybe that would make Kakashi initiate a challenge! "YOSH!" He grabbed Mito's hips, positioning her harshly as Mito squealed.

"Watch your hands you green maniac!" Gosh! Mito figured she might have bruises now. "What the hell?"

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Gai dodged a senbon but let out a manly squeak when he realized that Genma's sneaky throw had hit Mito and she'd gone down in a heap when he moved. "Oops."

"Ah, shit." Genma dropped down from the tree he'd been napping in before he heard Mito's yelp. "She's gonna be pissed. Don't tell her it was me?"

Gai beamed at him. "I am definitely telling!"

Genma picked her up and heaved her over his shoulder, surprised at how heavy she was. "Remind me to poison you later."

"Of course, my youthful friend!"

.

"You're lucky I was holding back and poisoned," Mito lectured angrily as she healed a banged-up Genma.

"Lucky," Genma muttered to himself. Mito's eyes had barely opened when she laid into him: fists, feet, and palms flying. "You're so strong."

"Of course I am! What is your deal?"

Genma pouted. "I was asleep when I heard you yell."

"I can handle myself!" For God's sake. it was just Gai and his oddly strong fingers! "What kind of poison is that? I'm all weak and stuff."

"That's the only reason I'm alive," Genma brokenly (and accidentally) said out loud.

Mito rolled her eyes. As if she'd kill a friend. "You big baby! Hey, have you seen Asuma or Kurenai around? I was looking for them before I met with my team."

"They're setting up what Asuma called a 'local network.'"

Mito gasped happily. "So we can contact each other by phone?"

"I guess," Genma shrugged. Mito had nice chakra although it seemed like it pulsed to him. Interesting; it's like a heartbeat. He leaned into it, thinking about how different her medical ninjutsu was compared to the feel of her normal violent ocean waves of chakra. –Not that he'd describe it that way to her!

Weird. Tsunade's, Shizune's, and some of the other medics' chakras didn't seem like that to him: so vastly different in one scenario versus another.

"Contacting each other by smartphone, I mean. –Or whatever they're called." Genma knew his way around a lab but did not consider himself to be an otherwise technical guy.

"I know. How does Asuma even know how to do it, though?" Mito wondered but then realized that Shin had told her something about downloading how to do stuff online when he was in Tokyo - although the cheetah hadn't known what Asuma was talking about. "And why is Kurenai with him?" That's a dumb question: she realized it even as the words were coming out of her mouth.

What was the deal with her brain-–straight-to-mouth instant messaging? Oh right: I'm poisoned.

"You know Asuma asked for her," Genma was sure. "And it actually makes sense if Kurenai-chan's keeping a genjutsu up around him to hide where he's doing… whatever it is he's doing."

"Yeah," Mito smiled. "OO! Maybe their assignment will end with me getting a little niece or nephew!"

Genma smiled at her before finally putting another senbon in his mouth. Mito was so pretty. "Pervert."

"I am not! …I just like kids," Mito admitted with a slight blush.

"Me, too." Maybe it was because he'd just been pummelled and was out of it but Genma figured this was as good a time as any. "So. You wanna go get dinner with me… Like, on a date?"

For all her intelligence, Mito could be pretty damn oblivious so Genma figured he'd make his intentions really clear.

"Oh," Mito said, looking up at him with big, wide eyes. Is that what we've been sort of doing all those times we went to lunch? When he asked me? Mito hadn't realized that he might be interested in her like that. All her friends called the very handsome, desirable Genma a "fuckboy" or "playboy" and as much as she liked him (and wanted to "go on a date" with ANYBODY) she wasn't into being with a guy that slept around a lot.

Plus - more importantly - there was the whole thing that happened with Chiriku.

Genma already saw it wasn't going to happen. Dammit. Why was it that every time he was genuinely interested in a woman they weren't interested in him? "Or we could just go get dinner as friends."

"I'd like that," Mito said softly as she finished healing him. She turned around and leaned on the wall next to him - but couldn't look at him. "To tell you the truth, I'd like to um…" Mito swallowed down the tightness in her heart and the butterflies that felt like had come to life in her stomach. "I'd LIKE to go out on a date with you but I recently had a… bad experience, I guess you could say. And I ended up losing a friend because of it."

"That sucks," Genma said, looking at her appraisingly. Actually, it actually didn't suck. He could wait! "You're not going to lose me." She finally looked at him and seemed so vulnerable. He gave her a wink and grinned when she put out her hand to him, pinky out.

"Promise?"

Genma linked his pinky with hers. "I promise, Pretty Girl."

Mito twisted his pinky around, blushing madly. "Don't call me that!"

"Owww. You're so mean, Mito-chan! But I'm just calling it as I sees it."

Mito knew that she had to be as red as a tomato. She grabbed his hands and pulled him up. She'd only twisted his finger a little, after all. "C'mon. Let's get some dinner so I can recharge from this poison you waylaid me with!"

"Okay, but since you won't make it a date, you'll be paying."

"Oh, hell no! That's not fair! You poisoned me!"

"I did," Genma said proudly. "But you eat a LOT, Mito-chan!"

"Dude. Saying that is no way to a girl's heart."

"Separate checks then."

"Okay. I suppose that's fair."

.

Two hours later, Mito cursed herself for kissing Genma. ...So she gently pushed him off her balcony by his kissable face.

That's what he got for kissing and then smiling at her like that: that turd!