Jake's made up his mind already, he's asking. He heads into Jake's quarter (perks of being a major, you get your own room), finding where Nate's huddled up reading in his bed, back pressed against the wall like he wants it to swallow him, you know, like a total loser.

No amount of dirty blonde hair and perfect jawlines could ever save Nate from being a loser, not even his very toned body, muscles and-

Besides the point. Jake is better than him, he knows it, so when he walks over he doesn't bother to ask for any permission before sitting on Nate's bed, making himself comfortable like it's his own.

He catches the way eyes peek up at him, ever so judgeful. As if Nate doesn't want Jake here.

Which is whatever, Jake doesn't really want to be here either. Who cares.

He only returned because it was the only other option besides, well, jail. Which was and still is ridiculous. You do the smallest things around here and bang, they've got your name on a list, close eyes and strict rules that tighten each time he's gotten in trouble.

Really, it's Amara's fault, building her own little jaeger and such, dragging him into it because she stole what he was trying to steal to then sell. And again, off track.

So yeah, who really cares, he came back after like ten years or something, saved the fucking world and lost his sister Mako.

Not a super big deal.

Because it doesn't really matter, the questioning glare Nate's sending him doesn't really matter either.

Jake might glare back too, thinking about it. But he is totally the mature one here, and doesn't hold any grudges or drown in any guilt from a fight from years ago when they were barely teenagers. Of course not. So he just rolls his eyes and wears a mockingly sweet smile on his face.

"Reading won't help that depressed look on your face, mate," He says, tilting his head and nodding towards the door. "Want some ice cream?"

For a moment Nate's not even there. He blinks, then he's gone, and Jake almost feels that tiny connection between them disappear. It's awful. They used to be so close, so young, a strong drift, and they were just getting it back-

Then it's just a false alarm and it returns full force and Jake can almost hear Nate's heart picking up a bit of speed, nearly feels it too. It's really fucking weird, everything about Nate is, everything about them is.

He glances closely, watching as Nate's lips purse downwards and he looks down at his book, the wall, the messy sheets, a different wall, and finally at Jake.

"Fine," He says, sighing, like it's a chore and not an invitation to eat some sugary stuff together. "Sure."

Jake claps his hands. "Splendid."

As they're leaving Nate naturally groans out of annoyance and fake exhaustion at least five or six times. He's just dramatic like that.

Neither bother to make actual conversation as they walk down dimly lit corridors, snoozing rangers, cadets, and whatnot behind closed doors.

It's sort of nice the way no one else is awake, at least, in this small area. The halls are empty save for one other person.

It's just them.

And now, featuring bowls being filled with scoops of ice cream over shiny metal counters, Jake almost uses a third of the big hunky jar of sprinkles.

"That's gross." Nate comments, eyeing Jake's bowl and scrunching up his face.

"It's heaven." Jake corrects, shaking a can of whip cream aggressively, then adding it on until it's a good two to three inches. Nate shakes his head, scraping his own bowl closer towards him and shoving the offered sprinkles away. "Don't yuck another man's yum, Nate." With that he lifts his head and opens his mouth, filling it up with whip cream too, smiling at Nate with it in his mouth.

Nate raises his eyebrows, nodding in a pretend way to care. Then, he furrows his brows and glares down at the cold counter. "Did you seriously just offer me ice cream to annoy me?"

"Are you seriously acting like we didn't save the world together?" Jake shoots back, popping the red cap back on and turning around, rolling his eyes at Nate's dramatic scoff as he puts the whip cream up. "We're drifting together and fighting for the world one moment. You know, you say stuff like I've done good, congratulations bro, all that crap." Jake shuts the freezer, ice cream put up, and whirls back around. "Then the next it's just like the first day I returned."

He doesn't use an exact word for it, and doesn't think he could.

Jake waits, only now noticing the tightening weight in his chest as Nate stands there. He looks unimpressed, then confused, then like he might say something.

But Nate doesn't, he just takes a big spoonful of his plain, no toppings ice cream.

Jake nearly feels upset. Thankfully after swallowing Nate has the generous idea to open his mouth, clearing his throat and avoiding eye contact.

"Not like you're acting far off from it either."

Jake hums dismissively, gesturing around the room. "Actually, pretty sure we ate ice cream together in this very room. So saying that isn't bad." He states stubbornly, crossing his arms. "Remember? Told me the kids 'needed us' or whatever."

Jake can see the way Nate bites his cheek before side-eyeing him, and placing his hands on the counter. "Yeah, as in somebody to look up to. A legitimate role model. You continued your attitude until we got in the damn jaeger."

"Attitude?" Jake leans back, offended, and waves his hand around. "I called your face pretty and perfect."

Nate pauses for the slightest second, shifting around and frowning at him. "You also said it was stupid."

"Why does it matter?" Jake hisses, taking a big spoonful of ice cream afterwards, the spoon clicking against the bowl loudly. "We're supposed to be enjoying some of this," He says, pointing down at his bowl, then pointing at Nate, "to remove that ugly sad look you've got. Okay? Not make it an upset one." He sighs, glancing to the side.

"Or whatever the hell you've got going on." He mutters in addition.

The response where Nate raises his voice and shoves Jack away doesn't come like he expects it to. Nate doesn't tell him Jake doesn't know anything about him, that while he's grown to be a man, Jake's still some immature boy. Instead, it stays silent. It rubs Jake completely the wrong way and he snaps his head back only to see Nate just standing there looking at him.

Seriously, he's staring, and it might make Jake start worrying for him, ask him if he's alright. So it's good Nate blinks back, brows furrowed and lips pulled downwards. Jake really doesn't want Nate to start thinking he cares like that . Because that's- it's too much.

"You serious 'bout that?" He asks and Jake's a little taken back, hiding it with a scoff and a roll of his eyes.

"No I lied, I brought you here to poison you, get rid of the Ken doll in our base of operations because we all hate a guy with good looks," He says sarcastically, setting a hand on Nate's shoulder and shaking him a little. When Nate grimaces, not very appreciative of any of it, Jake barks out a laugh, pulling him closer. "Yeah, obviously I'm doing this to cheer you up." He steps back, then winks terribly. "Gotta save that face from wrinkles one step at a time."

"I hate you," Nate says, then stuffs his mouth with ice cream.

Jake grins, twirling the spoon between his fingers. "Why so?" He asks.

"Well for starters I don't look like those dolls." He grumbles, tipping his spoon towards Jake as a substitute for a lazy but still accusing finger. He ignores the shrug Jake gives him to say 'a little'. "Plus you talk complete nonsense, Pentecost."

Jake's shoulder drops, frowning out of annoyance. "Why are back on the last name basis?" He acts like it doesn't hurt in the slightest. Sure he tells people it's just a name, pushing away the shocked eyes when they find out his father's a hero, who died saving the world and all, a famous marshal. But it's wrong in a different way when Nate says it. Instead of simply not wanting to be called that with other people, it feels like a million steps back with Nate, like maybe they didn't drift at all. "You know I don't like it."

"And I don't like being called a toy." Nate shrugs.

Jake clenches his jaw then huffs, leaning on the counter messily, spoon almost falling out of his bowl when his elbow knocks it. Then a moment passes and he shakes his head. "It's different, though."

Jake waits, then there's a hand on his shoulder. "I know, sorry." Then a couple of seconds pass, and quietly Nate blows out a low breath, Jake can nearly feel it. "I've been all over the place today."

"Yeah?" Jake glances up at him, humming with a smile, like baby steps. "You look like you have."

Of course, he doesn't ask for anything further. What he did, what was difficult, what's got him so tired. He leaves it at that and they both return to eating, occasionally bumping shoulders just because they can.

So now it's calm, silent, co-existence. Before they were a bit on and off there.

For some reason it seems their moods and dynamics both appear to be extremely indecisive and lack some consistency.

Jake comes back after ten years, Nate's all uptight and dramatic at the same time. They clash, they bicker, and Jake's got a snarky retort to everything.

Then there's Jules, a very pretty lady, but it seems she had something going on with Nate. Even when she'd send hints to Jake.

So it was really confusing when she kissed them both on the cheek before they headed out to fight for the world.

But at least Jake and Nate were getting along now, right? Sometimes.

There's the problem, after drifting together the edges started to smooth and Jake genuinely didn't mind hanging around Nate, and Nate didn't bite at his heels and push him away as much. It looked good. It was going good.

But only two weeks after the kaiju were finally defeated, two weeks after they fought side by side, Nate flipped a switch and now it's like nothing happened, the small string Jake imagines as the connection of the drift being the only thing left. But it's practically dying.

He does not know what to do about it. Not really. They aren't young boys who could basically read each other like a book anymore.

He could ask Jules, maybe, about why Nate's been so pissy lately, extra distant and stiff. But he thinks that would be kinda weird, right? Asking the girl you like about a guy who also is into her, while she's been openly flirtatious with both men, even at the same time in front of them.

It sounds awkward, at least. Jake knows he's supposed to think it's weird because he likes Jules. But, to the short of it, when he lets himself think, he doesn't really like Jules that way. He's just supposed to. Yes, she is pretty, smart, and strongly-willed, all good stuff. But Jake can't actually bring himself to want something with her by the end of the day.

Honestly, he just plays around and acts like he's into Jules to see Nate's reaction. (He can't explain it, but he just enjoys seeing any reaction from Nate- well, except this avoidant and depressive thing he's currently got going on.)

So maybe it wouldn't be weird if he asked Jules?

Then again, he partially refuses to ask her because deep down he knows he'll tear down a bit if Jules knew something about Nate and he didn't . Dejected as he gets knocked down a step.

Of course, sure, he has the possibility to cut straight to the chase and ask Nate upfront. Right now, even. He could do it right now.

Is that ice cream good? Great, now what's been up with you lately? Been a bit of a proper bitch.

That's stupid. Totally dumb. Jake even rubs his face from how idiotic it is, fingertips going in circles on his forehead. He thinks if he's going to ask Nate himself, he should go about it in a better way than that.

Glancing over at Nate, there's no denying that despite the sweet delicious bowl of ice cream in front of him, Nate still isn't exactly "alright" and he is most definitely thinking about something.

He did say he has been all over the place today, but Jake is starting to realize that's a bit more than the truth. Nate's upset one moment, then all drawn in the next, apparently, even saying sorry. Then he's unreadable. Or whatever the word is. It's just- Jake can not figure out a single emotion or thought that might be going through Nate.

Again, they lack a proper amount of consistency.

So even the simple things, well, the things that are supposed to be simple- like asking if Nate's okay- seem to be complex and leave Jake trying to calculate the best possible way to do so.

Really, it could be a short little "something been bothering you recently?" that would most likely lead to Jake getting the answer he wants. Not that he wants a certain answer in particular, just an honest one at least.

He hopes that will be what he gets, preparing himself as he breathes in, then exhales rather loudly, leaning his head and looking up at Nate from where he's leaning on the counter, back completely curved inwards.

"So uh," He starts and it's awful, really, that's what it is. He wishes he had an undo button, it sounded so painfully cringe and unready. Not that he's trying to make some grand speech full of strong words that make him sound smarter, that was more his dad's thing. He's not his father, still, even after embracing his return to the jaeger program and saving the world. It's really obvious too, his father isn't awkward in the slightest when it comes to any sort of confrontation or conversation for that matter. But here Jake is, sizzling with the burn of awkwardness. "Nate..."

Nate lets his spoon clink against the bowl, swallowing (Jake may have been watching to see his throat move, no reason for it though), and blinking at him. "What now?"

Okay, so, he's built up his walls again, that's great.

Well, no, it's definitely not. Jake is just really sarcastic at times and he knows it. Sometimes he thinks it's a great quality of his. He's never found anybody that agrees.

Not that it's relevant, but anywho, Nate's currently looking at him like he might walk away without hesitation if Jake doesn't start talking soon, like in a second. It really should piss him off, it used to, he always used to scoff and push at Nate's impatient manner that he would just randomly acquire at times. But now, it just makes Jake panic as he thinks of what to say, because he really does want to say something and know Nate heard it. But he can't do that if Nate's out in the hallway and he's here alone with his bowl of sprinkle-covered ice cream.

"Just wondering," He says, but it's more of a murmur. He hardly murmurs, so it's really fucking embarrassing. But he pushes through because although he may be awkward, it's normally a part of the charm. But embarrassing? It's a bit much. Luckily he's pretty tough and shrugs at Nate when he gives him a questioning look. "You've been, well," and he needs a word that isn't too offensive, but gets the job done, so it takes him a moment as he glances to the side, presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek, and looks back, "Prickly."

Nate's brows furrow. Jake tilts his head to the side and back.

"Like a cactus." He adds.

For good measure, of course. What a wonderful word, honestly, and comparison.

"And I'm curious as to why that is," Jake says slowly, deciding to dismiss the small thought that he sort of sounded like his father just then, but rather it's about Jake misbehaving or whatnot and not Jake simply caring for his friend.

Friend-ish. It isn't exactly too easy to put a name on his relationship with Nate. Sometimes they connect like matching puzzle pieces, other times anyone around is waiting for some sort of snappish comment or raging glance.

Now Nate's just been avoidant and Jake's trying to find out why.

But Nate isn't easy, unfortunately, so he just looks Jake up and down and purses his lips downwards. "Why?"

"That's what I said, innit?"

Nate huffs out a little, a mix at some awkward attempt at a laugh, stifled halfway, and a noise of disapproval for the sarcastic smile on Jake's face.

"I meant why do you wanna know why, smartass," Nate clarifies, though Jake obviously already knew this. The little name at the end isn't said lightly, not in the joking manner it could've been days ago when Nate wasn't occupied with building barriers all around himself to shove out Jake. It's a little biting, like he needs to be. It's strange. The concept that for some reason Nate has it in his brain that he's got to be defensive, that he's got to block Jake, or- or something will happen.

It makes Jake weigh out his next step as he rests his eyes down at his bowl of ice cream, looking intently like it'll give him answers. He breathes in, glancing at Nate out of the corner of his eye. "Am I not allowed to be curious?"

Nate pauses, blinking at him, and scrunches his nose. "You gonna let me decide?"

"If you absolutely need it," Jake says, quicker than he could think of it. He shrugs. "Then yeah."

Nate huffs, faintly amused at the response, and pokes at his ice cream, twirling his spoon as well. "Uh, then no, you can't be. I don't want you to be."

Jake scoffs, holding back the urge to roll his eyes. "Why not. You hidin' something? Got a bunch of secrets in the gel you use for your hair, huh? That's what it is."

"No." Nate denies firmly, sort of stabbing the bowl with his spoon. He grunts at the way Jake raises his eyebrows, not convinced. He takes a spoonful of ice cream and shoves it in his mouth.

Meanwhile, Jake is waiting for any form of persuasion, because oh it's definitely the hair gel, for sure, he thinks, a small smirk spreading across his face.

Nate frowns at it, distasteful, and then groans with annoyance and exhaustion. "I really can't talk about it with you."

Jake pauses, reeling back and clutching where his heart would be, offended. "Shit- like, specifically me?"

"Specifically you," Nate grumbles, not even bothering to look at the other.

"Pft, that's a load of crap, man."

"No, man," Nate argues, almost mockingly. "I just can't. Okay?"

"Why not?"

"Because."

Jake crosses his arms. "Where's the rest of that sentence, lad?"

"There isn't one."

"Liar, just tell me."

Nate's brows furrow, lips dragging downward, a sour expression on his face as his grip on the silverware in his hand tightens. "Lay off, Jake."

"You really wanna keep secrets from me after- fuck- I don't know, everything?"

Nate snorts. "Uh, yeah."

" Nate ."

Nate snaps a bit, fist slamming down on the counter, spoon left behind. It's not terribly aggressive, but enough to shut up Jake momentarily. This gives time for Nate, with his tense shoulders raised around him like a barricade, to rise and fall with his frustrated breaths, deep as he tries to grab ahold and stave away his headache.

He sighs, shoulders sagging, but his hands still balled up, and looks at the other. "You should drop it, alright? I'm not-" He blinks, hanging his head, throat so tight even Jake can pick up on it. "There's no way I can tell you."

Jake droops, practically like he's been turned into a big pile of goop that slobs over the counter. He ignores his ice cream for the first time in his life and examines Nate, eyes raking over him, a pit in his stomach. "Mate, this serious?"

Nate chuckles weakly. "Fuckin' obviously."

Jake frowns, looking down at the counter. "Well…" He's never been truly good at this, he doesn't know why he signed himself up for it anyways. There was always a high risk of him making it worse, of it being something he doesn't know how to navigate. Yet, Jake allowed himself to jump out, no parachute, and now he's dealing with it, anxiety crawling up his skin as he tries to decide what to say. He knows, really, what he should do. But again, he's not good. He's garbage at this. So, honestly, it's straining and his vowels all come out wrong as he grits his teeth in an attempt. "I'm sorry."

Nate shifts, wordless, and Jake squeezes his eyes shut for a second like it'll remove how he feels. "I guess."

Nate then clicks his tongue, fixing his posture as he heavily debates something. Then, he sets both his hands flat against the counter and leans on them, hair falling over his forehead as he tilts it down. "Jules asked me on a date."

Jake stirs at the new information, nearly feeling shocked before he starts to wonder if this is the whole grand reveal, the big fat secret Nate wanted to keep locked away and out of Jake's reach. Surely not, honestly, because that- this- it's utterly ridiculous. No single date with a girl is that serious to cause such a divide between the two of them.

So Jake groans, in disbelief, and throws his hands to the side. "Oh my God, this one's gotta be joking right here-"

"I'm not exactly finished," Nate says, hissing, and Jake presses his lips into a thin line, compliant, which surprises Nate a tiny bit as he does a double take at Jake's waiting expression before he sinks himself further into his self-inflicted misery- as Jake would call it. "I uh, I didn't go out with her."

Jake ruffles, actually confused this time. He swore Nate would have jumped out for an opportunity like that. But he let it slip? Just said no? He scrunches his face up, twisted into a plea for an explanation. "Why not?"

"A couple reasons." Nate states, tilting his head to the side as he seems to mentally recall them. Then, he faces Jake, offering a thin smile. "Hey, I guess you can now, huh?"

Jake winces slightly, shoulders raising as they just faintly curl in on him. Still, he tries for an innocent look, a tentative smile. "What if I don't wanna?"

Nate falters for a moment, lashes fluttering, and he squints. "What?" He recovers fast, looking casual as he glances down at the other. "What do you mean, man?" He asks and Jake scoffs.

"Can't it be same as you?" He suggests with a wave of his hand. "I decided I didn't actually wanna go out with her. Okay? So it's the same."

"No," Nate whispers, clearing his throat as he looks away. "It's not the same, but whatever. Alright, you don't like Jules?"

Jake shrugs. "She's pretty, just-" And well, yknow, he's been too busy thinking about blondes, actually. Short-haired and doll-like, all American and well-toned and well, shit, he shouldn't think about any of it too much, that's bad for his brain and even worse for his soul. "I dunno, it's the same as you."

Nate laughs like that's funny. "Oh, sure."

This gets a little frustrated grunt out of Jake who rolls his eyes, head swaying, before he points at Nate. "Okay, what the hell else is there, Nate? You're not sayin it all."

"Oh, no," Nate starts, shaking his head as he crosses his arms. "That's alright. I like this. You know, where you don't know. And what would be better is if you stopped asking."

"I won't." Jake points out and Nate seems to have expected that as he frowns a little, displeased, yet accepts the facts as he glances around the room.

"I know, Jake."

"So?"

"No." Nate shuts down, but his fingers twitch nervously, tongue peeking out like it does sometimes when he's like this, a bit strung up. "No, it's… Not good, man. I said no to her because… Well. Yeah."

"That explains nothing, 'm afraid."

"That's good news, then. You screw around, go figure it out yourself since you're so interested, Jake," Nate says sharply, backing up again like he's started to realize how far down he's gone, a longer walk than he clearly meant. More words tumbled out of his pretty (Jake doesn't know where that adjective came from, but he allows it unfortunately) mouth when, really, Nate planned on keeping silent. He puts distance from the two of them, raising a hand to rub at his forehead. "Jesus, I mean. Fuck. If you really wanna go mess it up , Jake, put two and two together."

The ice cream is melted now, neither of them like it that way, so apparently it's a bit wasted. A shame. But Jake can't blame himself when currently there's been hints and clues placed out for him that Nate reluctantly set there, and even though he's regretted it, he isn't taking them away. Like he knows it's already too deep, but of course he isn't helping Jake with the bigger picture. So Jake has to do this by himself as he presses his hands together, leaning them up to his face in an effort to extract some brain cells and force them to work.

Nate watches him, cautious from the side, as he bites down on his lip.

"I don't get it," Jake mutters, holding up both hands, all fingers down. Then he puts one up. "You said no to her for more than one reason. I ain't allowed to know any of em."

There's no way he's getting to four fingers, he thinks, and instead tries a silent approach, keeping the thoughts rolling around in his head like a laundry cycle.

Nate said no to Jules because he is already dating somebody? Not a reason, as it's something with more stakes. Afterall, he wanted Jake out of the loop, like if he found out- like if it was about it- like.

Like shit.

Jake might be insane, he thinks, or a genius. There is no in between (except maybe genius is stretching it, just 'correct' works as a title).

But, still, he doesn't want to confirm either of those right now. Because being wrong means he's insane. Probably. Not really, but he's dramatic like Nate. But it would be gut-wrenching type of humiliation if he was wrong. So he doesn't state it outright and just drowns in the way heat engulfs him at the slightest possibly he's got it right.

What if, now hear him out- what if Nate said no to Jules because he liked Jake? As in would rather go out with him, but as per loser behavior, thinks he'll be rejected so he ignores Jake instead? It sort of fits, Jake thinks, especially Nate being a loser.

God, that's crazy, right? It's crazy. There's no way.

It's impossible that Nate, who Jake thinks about way too much- likes Jake? Cus that would be insane. Liking Jake? Who has been acutely aware of Nate's stupidly long eyelashes and strong grip, tough hands and heart-throb of a smile?

Yeah, uh, Jake surely has got it wrong. Maybe he hit his head, he tells himself, as he slowly looks at Nate. But Nate looks so damn handsome, it's true, he's thought of this before, and the way he's biting his cheek and avoiding looking back at Jake makes him hesitant.

"I don't wanna assume-"

"Go ahead," Nate says instead of calling him an idiot, and it makes Jake's heart swell.

"Fuck."

"Yeah." Nate agrees, eyes dropping down to the ground because now it's out there, confirmed. Nate likes Jake. What a phrase, huh?

Jake's heart pounds so loud it shoots up into his head and rattles against his skull, sending booming waves across his brain that make him weak.

"I have something even worse to add," Jake mumbles, watching the flash of curiosity go bye in Nate's eyes before he finally meets him, lips gentle and deliberately stretched into a thin line, purposefully void of any readable emotion. Jake raises his hands, a total submission, and throws all of his last self-preserve away. "I've liked you for a while."

"You're not funny." Nate warns, making Jake gingerly step forward, the most careful he's ever been, and he places his hands on Nate's shoulders.

"I'm not joking."

"I don't believe you," Nate says, brows pinched tight, face all worn out from emotions, tired and weary to be hopeful. It makes Jake's stomach twist up, makes him stand straighter, makes him feel.

"I'm telling the truth. You may be a loser, but I like you."

" Jake ."

"Nate, I like you."

"Prove it," Nate says, and he can't even cross his arms before Jake throws himself out a metaphorical window and leans forward all the way, kissing Nate.

His heart thumps so obnoxiously loud, bouncing off his skull, but it's worth it for the way the kiss makes the rest of him feel. Their connection, that sort of ghost of a drift, it's been fucking tumbling since he asked Jake why he was 'prickly'. Right now, though, right now it's like sparks in the moments of clashing forces, yet only instead of opposition and anger, the forces are meeting each other halfway for balance, for some strange mutual desire that makes him realize that Nate's actually kissing him back.

In fact, his hands slide up, holding the sides of Jake's face like he has to hold on or it will all end.

Jake sure hopes that doesn't happen, so he returns the favor, the hands he's got on Nate's shoulder drift down, instead throwing his arms over before he pulls Nate closer, practically feeling the weight of all of those walls and barriers break down, fade away, and dissipate between their lips, being burnt to a crisp with the smoldering heat of Nate's thumbs on Jake's cheeks.

In short, it feels fucking good. Like there isn't a pole set in both of their stomachs that starts impaling Jake whenever he gets too close, like Nate's got a force field around him that not even he knows how to shut off.

It's amazingly the opposite, as Nate invites him closer, drags a smile across Jake's neck with an airy laugh, breathless. But happy, and that's the best, really.

And it ends with that, with Nate's arms wrapping around him in a hug that Jake initiates, where Jake feels like he can proudly say that ice cream was a damn good idea.