Chapter 38: The Belltower

Quasimodo had a lonely afternoon after Esmeralda left, keeping his hands busy with woodwork. He felt ridiculous for being too emotional to see her, but it was only natural for him to be more affected by this heartbreak than most people would be.

He'd lived a life of hopelessness, brought up hidden from the world and told that he was too hideous to be accepted by anyone. After twenty years of that, he'd been thrilled to meet Esmeralda. Esmeralda, who defied the Minister of Justice for him. Esmeralda, who told him he wasn't a monster. Esmeralda, who kissed his cheek and gave him hope. Hope that love might be meant for him after all...

Of course it wasn't. Quasimodo had known from the start that Esmeralda wouldn't want him that way. He'd allowed himself to entertain it as a possibility, since the idea made him so happy, but he'd always known deep down that it was too good to be true. The sight of Esmeralda kissing Phoebus had only been proof of what Quasimodo already knew. But he hadn't realized it could get worse. Hearing her admit that she loved Phoebus and not him... That was the worst.

He didn't know how to look at her after that. Not that he blamed her. Quasimodo didn't expect a gorgeous woman, one who had other options, to choose him. Even if it really wasn't about his face, like she'd assured him. He didn't have what other men had. He wasn't worldly or experienced with people. He hardly knew how to handle people after being isolated for so long! He didn't have money and hardly owned anything. He was just a lowly bell ringer whose greatest ambition was to spend time outdoors. Who could possibly be attracted to someone like that?

"Hello?"

A voice travelled through the belltower. Quasimodo flinched. He quietly turned away from the table to investigate.

To his surprise, he saw a curious looking girl just entering the tower.

Quasimodo hid behind a wall, worried about frightening the girl with his appearance.

"Are you lost?" He asked.

"No!" The girl replied happily. "I'm here to see you!"

"Me?" Quasimodo questioned.

"Yes. You're the bell ringer, aren't you?"

"Um... Yes."

"I just thought you might like a visitor. Where are you?"

"I... I'll come out. But please, don't be scared!"

"Why would I be scared?"

"Well... People don't really like my face."

"Oh, don't worry about that! I've seen you around town, and I'm not scared."

Quasimodo was relieved to hear that, but he wondered who this person was and what had possessed her to come here. He was a little nervous. Still, he came out of hiding and went to meet the girl.

"Hello there!" She greeted with a smile.

Quasimodo took in the sight of her. He first noticed her vibrant red hair, which was slightly messed up. Her eyes were a deep brown, the opposite of Quasimodo's blue eyes. Most noticeable was her kind looking face, which was spotted with freckles. She was very petite and looked innocent and youthful. Her appearance went well with her sweet, soft voice and happy attitude. Quasimodo immediately felt safe around this girl. Everything about her demeanor was welcoming.

"Hello." Quasimodo finally managed to say. "Uh... I'm sorry. Who are you?"

"Oh, where are my manners? I'm Elaine! I live with my uncle downstairs. He's the archdeacon."

"Oh, okay. My name is-"

"Quasimodo, right?"

Quasimodo smiled awkwardly.

"Yeah."

"I can't believe you live up here! I didn't think there was much to see in the belltower, but this is a cool place!"

"Well, yes, I suppose it is. Would you like me to show you around?"

"Yes, please!"

Quasimodo gave Elaine the tour, trying to learn about her on the way.

"What made you decide to come up here?" He asked.

"I met your friend downstairs." Elaine explained. "She said she was just visiting, and it occurred to me that you might be lonely up here, so I thought I should visit too."

"Oh."

Quasimodo was a little uneasy at the mention of Esmeralda, but he appreciated the fact that someone cared enough to want to meet him.

"Do you see her a lot?" Elaine asked.

"Yes. No. I mean... I normally do, but she's taking some time away now. She's... Busy."

"Oh, that's too bad."

"Yeah..."

Quasimodo wanted to get away from this subject, so he showed Elaine the bells.

"I didn't know there were so many." Elaine said in awe.

"And I've named them all." Quasimodo said proudly.

He listed the names of the bells. Then Elaine found the balcony.

"What a view!" Elaine remarked.

"You should see the view from the roof!" Quasimodo suggested.

He took her to the roof, where she looked in awe at the grand sight of the city.

"I would love to paint this..." Elaine said dreamily.

"You paint?" Quasimodo asked.

"Yes, I love to paint." Elaine replied. "My goodness... This is the best view I've ever seen! I MUST paint this!"

"If you paint a picture, I'd like to see it." Quasimodo said with interest.

"Of course!" Elaine agreed. "Do you have any hobbies?"

"I'll show you!"

Quasimodo showed Elaine his woodwork.

"Wow!" Elaine exclaimed. "These figures are beautiful!"

"Thank you." Quasimodo said with a slight smile.

"There's the blacksmith, and the baker. Oh, is that one Esmeralda?"

Quasimodo frowned.

"Yes." He replied.

"And that must be Minister Frollo." Elaine pointed out.

"...Yes."

"How did you learn to do this?"

"Well, I'm mostly self-taught."

It was true. Quasimodo had perfected his art of woodcarving through repeated trial and error. Frollo was the one who had first taught him to carve, but he didn't want to talk about that.

"It was the same for me with painting." Elaine informed. "I learned it when I was bored at the convent."

"Convent?" Quasimodo questioned.

"I was studying to be a nun." Elaine explained. "But it was ever so boring, so I've given up on it."

"What are you planning now?" Quasimodo asked.

"Well, I want to get married and I want to sell paintings. I don't know which will happen first, but until I get to one or the other, I'm staying with my uncle and helping him around the church."

Elaine handled one of the wooden figures.

"These are so well done!" She remarked. "Could you make one of me?"

Quasimodo smiled.

"Absolutely."

Esmeralda couldn't sleep. Being alone in this bed was definitely doing more harm than good. Thoughts of Phoebus troubled her. She longed for someone to comfort her, to make her feel like more than someone who had been rejected.

She was tempted to go to Claude. It was strange that he was the one she thought to seek comfort from, but no one else was available. And even if part of her resented him, she knew that Claude would be there for her the moment she asked. He was her friend.

The memory of him holding her through the night was still pleasant to think about, but Esmeralda also remembered how she'd felt the morning after. She hated to be dependent, and it was especially embarrassing to be so desperate for comfort that she would curl up with someone whom she had such difficult feelings about.

But her loneliness was stronger than her pride, right now. Strong enough that Esmeralda gave in to the temptation.

She didn't know if Claude was awake at this time of night, but she would check. She didn't expect anything when she came to his door, but she quickly heard sounds of distress coming from the room.

"Father... Please!"

Without another thought, Esmeralda went into the room. She saw Claude in the midst of an obvious nightmare, thrashing and breathing intensely. She rushed to him.

"NO! STOP!" He was shouting.

"Claude!" Esmeralda cried.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him until his eyes opened.

"...You're here." Claude managed between breaths.

"Of course I am." Esmeralda said reassuringly.

Claude pulled her closer to him, hugging her as he tried to catch his breath. Esmeralda held him tightly.

"You're safe." She whispered. "It's okay..."

Claude let go of her when he started to breathe normally, but Esmeralda unexpectedly lay down next to him. Claude turned onto his side and looked at her. Her head was right by his, close enough that their faces would touch if either of them moved a few inches.

"Are you okay?" Esmeralda asked.

"Fine, now." Claude assured.

"You don't look fine." Esmeralda observed.

The light of the moon shone through the window, barely reflecting off a tear on Claude's face.

He only noticed it after Esmeralda did. He wiped it away, but another one soon replaced it. He sighed.

"I went so long without crying." Claude shared. "I had no tears left after my father died."

He told Esmeralda the story of his father's death, from the incident of falling asleep in class to the sabotage he'd pulled to regain his class rank.

"I didn't cry after that." Claude explained. "I became too cold. A nightmare would have made me, but I'd stopped having them by then. So I didn't cry again... Until the first night I spent with you."

Esmeralda didn't know what to say. She only looked into Claude's eyes, listening.

"Between the nightmares coming back and the coldness fading away... It seems that every tear I failed to shed for so long is breaking through now."

Esmeralda touched her husband's face, her fingertips wiping the stream that fell from his eye.

"You know I would never judge you for crying." She reminded.

"Neither would I judge you." Claude returned.

Esmeralda realized she'd needed to hear that. She thought back to how she'd cried in Claude's arms after seeing Phoebus, and how she'd stayed close to him all night. She'd felt so pathetic for that, but she realized that Claude didn't see it that way. Why would he think poorly of her wanting his comfort when he'd been the one breaking down in her arms so many times?

Her eyes were wet now, but she didn't mind that.

"Thank you..." She whispered.

They looked at each other silently for a moment, until Esmeralda asked the question she had in mind.

"Do you want me to stay?" She asked.

"I would like that." Claude replied. "But you don't need to sleep here for my sake."

"To be honest..." Esmeralda said unhappily. "Nights are too lonely for me right now. I want to be here. With you."

Claude was slightly surprised. He didn't think she would say this after asking him to forget about the last time she'd slept by him. But her mind had changed. She wanted to be near him now, and of course he wouldn't deny her that.

"Then of course you can stay." Claude told her.

Esmeralda was grateful. She was even more grateful when Claude let her move up against him, holding onto him securely. Claude felt her tears, but he didn't mind. He put one arm around her body. With his other hand he held the back of her head, stroking her hair while he kissed her forehead.

The thoughts of loneliness and rejection faded. Esmeralda told herself that she wouldn't fight the urge to be comforted like this anymore. It was okay for her to need a friend, and it was okay for that friend to be Claude Frollo.