Dr. Weslin gave Montserrat the moment of silence she typically needed each time she arrived to her office. This time, however, she noted that she was fiddling with her fingers. She seemed to be pulling at the skin near her nails. That was one of the first signs of anxiety she had dealt with early after her rape. With months of treatment, she'd been able to get a better control of it but it seemed like this case she was dealing with was reverting her back.

"Josh Galloway makes rape jokes for a living and people actually go for it. It's disgusting and the fact that he's hiding behind an amendment just shows how weak he is in reality," Montserrat was venting without interruptions. The more she spoke, the faster her fingers pulled at her skin. "He raped this girl and he doesn't even care. He's so sure that he's gonna get off scot-free meanwhile we're over here scrambling to give our ADA any ammo he can use." When she took in a deep breath, Dr. Weslin knew it was his time to make a response.

"And this case was one that you specifically pushed for?"

"Well yes, because there was a crime committed," she shrugged. "It's what I was supposed to do."

"But you mentioned that you had a bit of disagreement-"

Montserrat scoffed. "Try multiple disagreements. Since this has gone to trial, I've been in Rafael's face for quite a while and vice versa." It made her feel ridiculous and shameful about her unprofessionalism but every time they came back from court Rafael was on a streak of 'we're going to lose' and she couldn't take it. She knew Olivia was on the same page as her due to the fact many disagreements had been between the three in general.

"Montserrat, why are you specifically pushing for this case?" Weslin's question momentarily confused Montserrat, which led the doctor to reword it. "You've had several cases already and each of them have been conflicting as is normal so why is this case pushing you to have these disagreements with your co-worker? And this man, Josh Galloway, he seems to be pressing your buttons-"

"-he is, because he's a rapist and he's getting away with it," Montserrat looked down at her lap and shook her head. "He might get away with it like...he did."

"He did?" Dr. Weslin repeated and carefully watched Montserrat. She was aware of her fingers and her skin being pulled off.

Montserrat raised her fingers and examined them. "I...used to this before…" Weslin nodded but allowed her to continue without interruption. "Back when it was early...after my rape, I was so...out of place. I used to peel my own fingers' skin. I'm doing it again." A sad realization struck her face the moment she figured it out. "I'm doing it again and I don't even see it."

"You are now," Weslin gave her a second nod.

Montserrat tilted her head back and rubbed her forehead. "You know, I've been anxious ever since the trial started. Galloway is treating everything like a joke and he just...he reminds me of...him. My rapist." Even just mentioning him filled her with disgust. "He thought everything was a joke too, including what he did to me."

"Montserrat, you know there is nothing wrong with recusing yourself from this case. You have to testify?"

"No-"

"-then you don't even have to go to the trial if it still makes you uncomfortable."

"But then he wins," Montserrat gritted her teeth together. "He gets to control my life even after almost a whole year. I like my job, I do, and I don't want anything to get in the way of it."

She couldn't let that horrible act ruin the rest of her life. She had a good life at the moment, she loved where she lived and where she worked. She was beginning to get to know her co-workers and they were all turning out to be good people. That man didn't get to further ruin her life. Even if he was still somewhere out there, doing whatever the hell he wanted, he didn't get to have power over her.

No sir.

~ 0 ~

"Josh Galloway here, live-vlogging my persecution. Today, Carly - oh, I mean, my anonymous accuser - swore under oath she came to my hotel room suite, raided my mini bar, but did not want to make it with my joystick. I just sure wish the jury got to see her a few hours earlier…"

"I don't want to-" Carly was promptly shut down and forced to watch the remainder of the video in silence, though she knew despite the video playing the detectives' and ADA's eyes were on her and not on the screen.

Because on screen, she was pulling her shirt up for an entire crowd to see.

"Do you know what else ends with a 'y'? Perjuryyyyy."

Montserrat could not help herself. She slammed the laptop lid shut. She looked at the other detectives who were all wearing similar grim faces. Of course they were about to all go down due to this one video.

"I'm sorry-" Carly barely got to say before Rafael cut in in one of his usual cold tones.

"For what you said? Or for not telling us about it before?"

Carly looked down at her lap. "I didn't remember being recorded. I didn't do it on purpose."

"No one thinks that," Olivia spoke up for her. "But this will make it more difficult."

"How did this video even come up? I thought the detectives said they-"

"-vetted the club-goers?" now Rafael was glaring at each and every SVU detective in his office. "Those were the rumors."

"We did," Nick seemed to be the one - besides Montserrat - leveling his glare. They did their job just as mandated. "Someone must've taken the video and sent it to Josh."

"I'm sorry," Carly felt like it was the only thing she could say, but it didn't do much for her.

"You should be," Rafael circled her chair. "The jury will remember it when they acquit Josh." Carly looked mortified but it didn't phase him one bit.

"Why don't we get you home?" Olivia started helping the girl up and looked to Amanda and Fin. "Get her back home safely, alright?"

"But what's going to happen?" Carly looked for some answers as Amanda and Fin started walking her for the door.

"This doesn't change anything, we're still going to try our best, right?" Montserrat finished by specifically glancing at Rafael. He didn't even answer, instead only making a half shrug of an 'I don't know'.

"Could you at least look like you have faith in this?" Olivia started as soon as Carly was gone.

"Faith in what?" Rafael nearly shouted out of frustration. "That video cemented the ending of this trial. I already went for a mistrial attempt-"

"-you did what!?"

"Don't worry, it was denied."

"Is there anything else we can do to mend this error?" Sonny's attempt was as futile as Olivia's words of encouragement.

"You want to redeem the case? Good luck," Rafael sincerely wished them. "Calhoun just told me she's calling Olivia to the stand."

The Sergeant in question blinked in surprise. "What? Me?"

"So I suggest you watch what you say. Calhoun knows exactly what she wants from you on that stand," Rafael moved back towards his desk.

"That's it?" Montserrat helplessly looked between Olivia and Sonny. "Just 'watch yourself'?"

"We all knew where this was headed." Rafael's matter-of-fact tone irritated even more.

"So then we should have, I don't know, done more for this? Instead of sitting there-" Montserrat gestured at him, "-and taking the lose."

"No I specifically said this case was not going to make it," Rafael snapped and glared at Olivia for a moment, as if silently warning her the Detective was pushing his buttons again.

"It was the right thing to do," Olivia reminded him, but even then it wasn't enough to ease the tension.

"I never should have let you convince me to take this case-"

"-we decided that it was the right thing to do-"

"This was before I had all the facts!" Rafael shot up from his seat, finally aggravated enough to shout at all of them, including the two silent detectives who'd been turning their heads each time someone spoke up. "If your detectives had done their due diligence and found that video, I never would have brought this case to trial!"

"So this our fault now?" Montserrat moved for his desk which prompted Sonny (and consequently Nick) to rush and stop her. "I thought SVU was all about being a team but you're not! You're just taking an easy way out and blaming us because you can't come up with a strategy to get the trial back on track!"

"ENOUGH!" Rafael ordered and received. He was outright enraged with such a string of insults and Montserrat didn't even look regretful.

She upheld his look for a minute before turning and storming out. You're an idiot. You shouldn't have done that. What were you thinking-

"Montse?" she started hearing Sonny's call and turned around once she was in the hallway to see him and Nick coming out.

"I know that was awful-"

"-more or less," Nick shrugged.

Montserrat rubbed her forehead and tried calling herself down. "I'd go back there but I'm afraid I'll just pick up where I left off."

"Yeah, don't worry, I think Barba is pretty much in the same state," Sonny instead motioned if Montserrat wanted to start leaving. "I've never seen him go that type of red before-"

"-not helping," Montserrat took in a deep breath and hopes she would be able to hold herself together.

"I'm gonna go back…" Nick pointed to Rafael's office. "You okay?" he put a hand on Montserrat's shoulder. "We all have that type of case. And sometimes our temper gets in the way. I should know."

Montserrat didn't exactly know what he meant but she supposed he would elaborate at another time. "I think I should just go home."

Sonny turned her for the doors. Like he said, he brought her home. He did notice the 180 Montserrat did in the while it took him to drive to her place. Her rage was replaced with a guilt ridden expression. Her eyes were downcast the entire ride home, and even as they headed up the stairs of the apartment building.

When Montserrat unlocked the apartment door, she silently walked in and let her coat fall on the floor without care. She didn't really acknowledge the fact Kara was coming out of the kitchen.

"Montse, what are you doing-" Kara stopped and Montserrat went straight into the hallway. She flinched when Montserrat slammed her bedroom door shut. "What just happened?" she set her mug on the kitchen table and went to pick up Montserrat's coat off the floor.

Sonny picked it up before she got there and held it to her. "Tough case."

"Again? Can't you guys ever have something easy?" she took Montserrat's coat and draped it over a kitchen table chair.

"Unfortunately, no," Sonny stuffed his hands into his pants pockets. "She had a go with our ADA and let's just say she got him to scream."

Kara made a face. "I heard he's easy to irritate-"

"-so imagine when he meets a detective who puts his skills in question."

"Montse's not like that. This must be a case that's just getting to her. She wouldn't fight with a co-worker. I mean, she's told me how much she likes everyone at SVU," Kara felt like she needed to make sure that everyone knew Montserrat did indeed love her job. "Including that ADA. She likes Olivia's maternal side, um...that blonde detective-"

"-Amanda?"

"That one! Montserrat loves her accent - she thinks it's adorable." Kara chuckled with Sonny. "And then that tall one - he's Spanish I think?"

"Nick, yeah," Sonny gave her the nod. "Cuban."

"Right. Montserrat says he has a daughter and because he's a single Dad she just respects him a lot. Her parents haven't been together since she was five so believe me when I say she respects Nick for keeping a good interaction with his ex. And then Fin - I met him last week on a run - has all the jokes that make Montse laugh. And you…" Kara smiled, "Montse really likes you too. And your cooking."

Sonny's face went a bit red as he laughed. "You don't need to convince me of anything, Kara. We all know she likes her job, and we really like her too."

Kara nodded. "And that ADA, Montserrat likes him too. She says he's good at what he does. If she argued with him it was on the spur of the moment thing. She respects him too."

"Believe me, Kara, we know. Hopefully by tomorrow she'll be more calm," Sonny started backing up for the doors. "I gotta go though."

"Thank you for bringing her back," Kara followed him to the door. "Still keeping us safe, I see."

"My job," Sonny sheepishly smiled, referring back to the first time they met.

"I thank you for it," Kara leaned on the hinge of the door. "And I'm sure when Montse gets her shit together tomorrow, she'll thank you too."

Sonny nodded and gave her a wave before turning to leave. Kara slowly closed the door and turned towards the hallway. She headed for Montserrat's bedroom and gently knocked on the door.

"Montse? Montserrat, you wanna talk?" Kara didn't even bother with the doorknob since she was sure Montserrat had locked herself in. "Sonny said you had an argument with your ADA, what happened?"

Inside her room, Montserrat was sitting on the floor with her back to the bed's foot. She wasn't even listening to Kara's calls. It wasn't registering. All she could see and hear was that terrible day that changed her life.

He doesn't get to win. He doesn't get to do this to me. She closed her eyes and tilted her head against the bed. She had to believe in that or else she would never get to live.

~0~

The next day when Montserrat returned to SVU, she found most of her co-workers had yet to come in. With a sigh, she dropped her things on her desk and went to sit down. Not a minute later did she hear someone clearing their throat.

"Renée?" Montserrat noticed the young woman was looking oddly uncomfortable. Throughout the trial, Renée had been a close supporter of Carly Rydell - even if the two women didn't really like each other - so of course Renée made her appearance to the courtroom for each trial date.

"There's something you should see," Renée pulled out a USB from her bag and held it out to Montserrat.

Slowly, Montserrat took the USB and plugged it into her laptop. There was a video in it and when she opened it up, she came to see a video of Josh Galloway attempting to rape Renée. Montserrat brought a hand to her mouth and stopped the video.

"Renée…"

"Before you say anything I did this out of my own accord!" the girl pulled a chair beside Montserrat's desk. "If the other girls couldn't Josh raped couldn't come forwards then I had to. No one told me to do it. I thought about it myself." Montserrat pulled the USB from her laptop and handed it back to Renée. Renée seemed disappointed until she saw Montserrat getting up. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know, but we need to get this to our ADA now," Montserrat nodded for the exit and of course Renée rushed to follow.

On the way to the DA's building, Montserrat notified Olivia in a text what was happening. Hopefully, it would start paving the way for a redemption from Montserrat's part.

Though it was early, Rafael was already in his office. The moment he saw Montserrat he laughed quietly, assuming she was back to continue in her crazy argument. "Should I even bother saying good morning detective?"

"I'm on business," Montserrat led Renée in, though she heard his snarky 'that'd be a first' along the way. She let it go and just stuck to the reason she came in. "Renée did something...more or less good but I don't know exactly how good."

Rafael settled a look on the nervous woman. "What did you do?"

Renée took out her USB and held it out for him. Rafael looked past her towards Montserrat, questioning the USB but the Detective nodded him to go on and take it. Like she did earlier, he stuck the USB on a laptop and found Renée's video.

Renée shifted in her seat until after he finished watching. "Like I told Detective Novak, nobody told me to do this. In fact, Sergeant Benson warned me not to try anything."

"And you should have listened," Rafael cut her off. "This was dangerous, Renée."

"I had to do something," Renée argued without hesitation. "He cannot go free without paying for what he did."

"Renée, wait outside and then I'll take you home," Montserrat motioned the girl to start getting up.

"Please don't let him get away with it," Renée pleaded as she got on her feet. "Use that video, please!"

Montserrat turned to Rafael once Renée was gone. "Can we use that?"

Rafael closed the laptop down and considered the options. "Maybe, but the judge will never let us use this. Are you sure no one told her to do this?"

"Listen, you can be mad all you want but I would never put a civilian's life at risk like this," Montserrat pressed her finger over his laptop. "This video may not be useful for this case but maybe it doesn't have to be used for this case." Her suggestive smile did offer another option Rafael would be willing to take. It was easy, and best of all it guaranteed a win.

~0~

"There was a camera in her eyeglasses?" Rita Calhoun was practically offended the NYPD would sink so low at breaking obvious rules just to take out her client. She pushed shut the laptop that had the disgusting video of her client and Renée. "The NYPD give her that?"

Rafael looked up to where Olivia stood. The Sergeant had made it clear she wanted to be there when he showed Josh and Calhoun the video.

"She bought them herself," Rafael answered but Olivia added on.

"At Best Buy."

"I'm sure she did. This won't be admissible regardless," Calhoun's statement gave Josh an irritated smugness. "My client was set up while still on trial. This is NYPD entrapment."

"Renee did this on her own," Rafael met them with his own smug smile. "Neither NYPD nor I had any knowledge. And I'm not looking to use it at this trial." Calhoun barely had time to be confused when Rafael explained better. "I'll be bringing a new case with separate but equal charges. Attempted rape, sexual assault."

"Whoa, whoa, what is this?" Josh frowned. "First it was a vendetta and now it's a shakedown?"

"Josh, stop-"

"Rita-"

"Stop!" Calhoun snapped, finally succeeding in making Josh go silent. "I'm sure Mr. Barba and I can work something out."

The smirk on Rafael's promised she would get a deal alright.

~0~

"Girl got guts to go out there and get that video," Fin said decently quiet since Olivia and Rafael had Carly Rydell in Olivia's office.

"Renee could have gotten herself seriously hurt, though," Amanda reminded them all that while this was a good ending there were still some unaccounted risks that hadn't been necessary.

"At least we know Galloway is getting some punishment," Nick looked at the office door that was opening.

"And it seems like we're about to know just what he got," Sonny rubbed his hands together, making his co-workers chuckle.

Carly seemed pretty satisfied as she walked out, leading the detectives to believe the deal must have been good.

"How much time is he getting?" Montserrat didn't beat around the bush. Everyone around was curious to know the lucky number of jail time anyways.

"None," Rafael's answer was initially met with a degree of incredulity before he added on, "He'll be going on the registry for ten years."

"And the video never sees the light of day," Olivia added, looking not too pleased as well.

"What - that's it?" Amanda gawked. "So he is above the law?"

"He pled guilty and he's on the registry. Fatty Arbuckle was found innocent. Barely ever worked again," Rafael reminded them. "The court of public opinion, once it turns on you…"

"So it was the right thing to do," Montserrat smirked.

"Detective, I won't even bother answering that," Rafael stepped towards her desk. She got up from her chair with the actual intention of apologizing, but he didn't give her the chance. "I know you're still new but the next time you go off on me the way you did, I'll report you for unprofessional conduct. I'm sure that'll be take into consideration at the end of your probationary period. Do you understand?"

Montserrat's eyebrows raised together. The others prepared themselves for another argument - and perhaps a louder one too - but all Montserrat did was slightly smile and give a small nod.

Rafael briefly looked at the small audience they'd collected and went on his way. Montserrat turned to watch him leave and suddenly chuckled after he disappeared in the hallway. "He'll get over it," she waved him off and smiled at the rest.

"You okay?" Olivia asked while Montserrat went to take a seat again. "That was harsh and even if he does end up reporting anything, I can vouch that you were still new to the job."

Montserrat didn't seem at all perturbed with the threat. "In six months when 1PP reviews my job progress, I'm sure I'll have pissed him off countless times that he won't bother to do the paperwork for each incident."

"Alright…" it was clear that Olivia didn't know what to say about Montserrat's way of thinking, but at least she seemed to be doing better than yesterday.

"Montse?" Sonny quietly called when everyone started returning to their daily tasks. "Are you sure you're okay? Barba was intense-"

"Yes," she chuckled. "Plus, he'll get over it. I may or may not have left a little something in his office." Sonny's questionable look just made her laugh again. "Listen, Kara's been bugging me to ask you where you bought those cannolis that you gave me on my first day. She really loved them."

That made Sonny change his focus onto his favorite dessert, as well as the cute, friendly roommate.

~ 0 ~

On his way into his office, Rafael bid goodbye to his assistant for the day. He walked in, dreary of the remaining work he had left, but slowly came to a stop when he spotted a white plastic bag sitting on his desk. He looked around but of course no one but him was there. It was too late to go catch Carmen and ask her who brought it around.

He put his things down on a chair and peered inside the bag. The moment he did was he greeted with smell of food - dinner by the looks of it. There was a yellow paper taped to the top of the white box inside. He pulled it off and took it out of the bag to read the note on it. After he did, his mouth opened in a gape.

~ 0 ~

"No way, they make these with peanut butter too!?" Kara practically yelped when Sonny read off the different flavors of the dozen cannolis he and Montserrat brought to the apartment.

"Apparently they do," Montserrat eyed the specific pastry with hesitation while Kara picked it up from the box.

Kara's moan after taking a bite of the peanut butter cannoli made both Montserrat and Sonny laugh. "What? It's good!" Kara reached for a napkin on the coffee table.

"Glad you like them," Sonny closed the lid of the box (after offering Montserrat one) and set it on the table.

"Mm, I do. But you didn't have to pay for them," Kara shot Montserrat a mock glare. "I specifically sent Montse go pick some up with the promise I'd pay her back."

"He offered," Montserrat argued through her chews. She admitted the chocolate cannoli was her favorite, though perhaps it had to do with the fact she loved brownies. "I'm innocent in this."

"It was my pleasure," Sonny assured them both before they got into a disagreement.

"Still, it seems like a lot…" Kara sheepishly said.

Montserrat rolled her eyes when Sonny gave the same expression. Oh brother. "Thank God," she mumbled when she heard her cell phone ring inside her bag. "Don't mind me…" she said but doubted either of them were listening. They seemed to like smiling at each other.

Sonny and Kara were forgotten the moment she saw who was calling.

"Hello?" she got up from the couch chair and walked a small distance from the living room.

"Montserrat Novak, just what do you think you're doing?" Rafael promptly demanded from the other line.

Montserrat imagined him in his office, confused out of his mind with her gift.

True to her image, Rafael was holding the note she'd left and couldn't stop rereading it. "I swear to God if you're laughing-"

"-I'm not," Montserrat was biting her lip to keep herself from laughing. "I just wanted to apologize in my own way. One of Kara's customers owns the restaurant so they did me the favor." She glanced back at Kara to see if the roommate had heard anything. Thankfully not. "You don't like it?" her soft tone made it difficult for Rafael to accuse her of something else.

Rafael looked at her note then back at the meal on his desk.

It was my turn to pay. Hope you like French food!

- Montse

"It's just...it's a lot, Novak," he admitted it did make him just a little uncomfortable accepting her 'gift' and it wasn't because of his ego. He actually didn't understand the exact feeling he was getting.

"C'mon, Rafael. My name is Montserrat. We're not working so you don't have to keep calling me by my last name," she chuckled. "And I just sent that as part of my apology. I was a particular pain in the ass for this case and I went off on you. You have every right to report me."

Remembering his threat put Rafael in shame. He'd been set on making her remember where she stood and he'd probably said what he shouldn't have. She was, after all, still new to SVU and still learning. "I wasn't actually going to report you, Nov - Montserrat. I just wanted you to have a reason not to argue with me again."

"Yeah, that I can't promise," Montserrat bit her lip again when a laugh threatened to slip through. "I always argue, and it seems like you're my candidate to be on the receiving end."

"Lucky me," Rafael hummed.

"You make it too easy by getting annoyed with the simplest of things."

"Excuse you, you insulted my abilities on a job I've been doing for more than ten years-"

"-and I'm sorry," Montserrat apologized slowly. "I said what I said because…" she sighed and only gave a brief explanation that would hopefully cover it. "This case just...it hit home. And I shouldn't have let it, but it did, and I said things and acted in a way I hope I never do again."

Her choice of words had confused Rafael for a moment. "It-it what? What does-"

"-don't ask questions, please," she'd gone to a whisper, furthering his suspicions. Once again she glanced back at her friends hoping they hadn't heard. "You just gotta know that I think you're a talented prosecutor. I still remember the belt."

That soon brought a smile to Rafael's face. He chuckled, actually. "Let it go, Novak."

"Not in this lifetime," she promised. "You basically asked a man to choke you with a belt on your first SVU case and you want me to let that go? Absolutely not." She smiled when he laughed, hoping it meant things would be better from here on out. "So...are we good?"

Rafael put her note down on his desk. Despite his efforts he ended up smiling. "Yes, Montserrat. Of course we are."

"Great," Montserrat beamed, perhaps more than she should have. "Enjoy your dinner. The chocolate mousse was really good by the way, but then again I really love brownies so it might stem from the fact it was just chocolate."

"There's dessert too - Montserrat!" Rafael had peered over the bag again and caught sight of a second box underneath.

"It's fine, Rafael, don't worry," she chuckled while he sighed in resignation. It's not like he could return it anyways.

"Next time it's my turn," he said without much thought and suddenly Montserrat was glad this was a phone call and not in person because her face had gone a little red.

"Whatever you want," Montserrat shrugged, making him pause in his endeavor to pull out one box of food.

He realized the context of his words and internally scolded himself for it...but maybe he wasn't so sorry about it in reality.

Author's Note:

As usual, thanks for reading!

For the review: I'm following the episodes but they won't always have the same scenes! And I think it goes without saying but the episodes won't be done in the same order as they aired on the show! I like giving it some twists! :)