Montserrat sat on a metal table with her brother on the opposite side. She felt terrible for bringing the bad news, even more bad news than what he already had. "I'm so sorry, Gael. I promise we're trying to figure it out-"
Gael reached for one of his sister's hands and gave her a small smile, the best he could do right now. "I know you are trying. You don't need to remind me. The bail money is excessively high. I don't want you or anyone else to waste it on me."
"We just need $5,000 more. I know we can raise it I just...I haven't figured out a way to do it," Montserrat shook her head. And it wasn't like she wasn't trying. For the past two days she'd been going over her own finances along with her father's and even Casey's but between the three there wasn't any more money they could gather. Each of them had already put up a substantial amount, including Damian's own offer...and it still wasn't enough.
"Montserrat, when's the last time you slept?" Gael's question confused Montserrat since it wasn't pertinent (in her opinion) to the situation.
"I-I don't know," shrugged the detective. "Who cares."
"I care," Gael said, and sharply too. "Because you're spreading yourself too thin. What about your job? Have you gone back already?"
"I'm on an indefinite leave," Montserrat said casually.
"Montserrat-"
"-I'm just meeting with Calhoun to know your situation and I'm working to get some more evidence with Damian, alright? I can sleep when you're out of jail and free of any accusations."
"Montserrat," Gael gripped Montserrat's hand, urging her to stop and listen to him even if it was for just a moment, "I really appreciate everything you're doing for me. I know you hate Calhoun-"
"-eh, it's more of a frenemy thing," Montserrat cut in but Gael went on before she could discard everything else he wanted to say.
"But you're paying her big bucks to solve my case. And then you're taking care of my girls and God knows that's not an easy job."
"Yeah, I never knew putting a four year old to sleep involved...so many things," Montserrat wanted to yawn just thinking about all the tricks she had to pull so Ivana would fall asleep. "But it's okay, because you're my brother and I know these accusations are false."
"Are they?"
Montserrat blinked at her brother. Why was he looking so serious?
"I've seen the pictures, okay? I know everything that happened and...I can't help wonder...what if it is my fault those people got hurt?"
"Shh!" Montserrat quickly went. This was a tactic she would normally love if she hated the perp but this was her brother and he was innocent. "Shut up! Anything you say here can be used against you!"
"I'm only thinking-"
"-no!" she snapped. "You know for a fact you did everything by the book. You did all the evaluations, followed every code. You know that."
"So then why did people get hurt?"
Montserrat shifted in her seat. It pained her to know that they still didn't have an answer. It was an outright mystery why that building collapsed. "I don't know, but I'm going to find out. In the meantime, just stay put and...be a bit patient with me. I'm gonna get that money to get you out of here."
"Thanks," Gael sighed. "Before you go...can I ask how my girls are doing?"
Montserrat smiled. "Ivana is fine. The thing about being 4 is that she is in an endless blissful bubble. She thinks you're just away."
"Thank you...and Juliana?" Gael shared a meaningful look with his sister. Teenagehood was already hell; he was sure he was only making it worse for his daughter right now.
"She's….uh...taking it hard," Montserrat swallowed hard. It was a bit of an understatement but she wasn't going to worry her brother more than he already was. "But we're handling it - I'm handling it."
"Handling a teenager is not an easy job and Juliana already has a temper…"
"She's going to be fine," Montserrat assured him despite not knowing it herself. "I'm going to make sure of it."
"Thank you," Gael gripped her hand again. "Really...thank you."
"What's family for?" Montserrat's smile would only last until her brother was taken away. Because as soon as she left, she handled yet another call from Juliana's school. She made a quick trip to the school and walked straight into the school's main office. She informed the first secretary she saw that she was there for Juliana and was immediately directed to her niece sitting outside the principal's office.
"Are you frikin kidding me?" she hissed at Juliana as she hurried up to the teenage ginger. "It's only noon!"
Juliana sat with her legs tightly closed and her arms crossed just as tightly against her chest. She looked like a four year old who'd gotten a scold...and she just might get one.
"What happened?" Montserrat bent down in front of her niece, letting go of the anger for a minute in hopes of getting the story from Juliana before she got it from the principal.
"I just did what I had to," Juliana curtly answered.
Montserrat tilted her head, then. "What did you do?" her voice sharpened.
Juliana did not answer.
The principal's door opened up to reveal a short, brunette woman dressed in a formal gray dress. Montserrat had come to know the woman in the past week as Principal Jannae Cams. "Miss Novak?"
"Yeah," Montserrat straightened on her feet. "Here I am...again…"
Cams turned away and led Montserrat into the office. Montserrat closed the door and inwardly sighed. She prepared herself for whatever Juliana pulled now.
"You should know, first and foremost, that we do not tolerate any type of violence in this school," Cams took her seat and left Montserrat to figure it out and take her own seat. "Which is why Juliana is suspended for the next three days."
"What?" Montserrat blinked. "What did she do?"
"Got into a fight with another of our students. Juliana was seen by at least three other students when she threw the first punch."
"My niece would never hurt anyone," Montserrat tried to say but Cams already had the story prepared and so cut her off.
"She broke the other student's nose. And when we asked Juliana about it, she admitted it. Juliana initiated the fight. She's suspended."
"I don't...I…" Montserrat drew in a deep breath to calm herself down before she too initiated a fight. "I have no idea what happened but I know for a fact that Juliana would never act like this unless she was provoked. What did the other student have to say about this?"
"That she was punched," Cams said, overly sarcastic which only fueled Montserrat's own anger. "In the nose. The family's pretty upset, as you can imagine."
"Well, I'd like to talk to this student and know what happened."
"Miss Novak, I understand that your family is currently undergoing some...problems, and I think it's affecting Juliana negatively. Perhaps you should take these 3 days of suspension as a way to talk to Juliana or, at the very least, get her some help."
Montserrat may have wanted to throw her own punch, but that wasn't like her either. She closed her eyes for a second to take another breath in. "Juliana's father, my brother, is being falsely accused so...yeah, it might be affecting Juliana but do you know what? She never fought before and even now...I know she wouldn't ever hurt someone so I'd really like to know what that other student had to say."
"I'm sorry, but that would be up to the parents."
Montserrat pushed herself up from her seat. "Fine," she practically spat before leaving the office. She grabbed Juliana by the arm on her way out of the main office, ignoring the teenager's cries to be let go until they were in the school hallway.
Classes were still in session which gave them the perfect chance to talk freely.
"I want to know what the hell happened that would lead to you breaking someone's nose!" she demanded from Juliana. "And don't you dare huff at me. What happened?"
"I already told Principal Cams that I punched Eleanor's nose!"
"Yeah, got that, what I want to know is why!?"
"Because she kept talking about my Dad like he was some criminal! She said he was a murderer and that he should rot in jail so you know what? I punched in her nose," Juliana folded her arms again, "And if I hadn't been pulled off her I would've gladly punched her again."
"Oh God Juliana," Montserrat pinched the bridge of her nose. Yeah, she should've seen this coming. "She was riling you up-"
"-of course she was! I'm not stupid!"
"No, but you were stupid enough to fall for it," Montserrat couldn't help but snap. "And now you've been suspended for 3 days. What the hell am I going to do? I just told your Dad I had things under control-"
"-you saw Dad?" Juliana's eyes widened. Her entire face lit up. "Can I see him!?"
"No! Because you're grounded!"
"What?" Juliana snorted. "You can't ground me. You're not my Mom."
"But I am your aunt and your current guardian so guess what? Grounded. And be grateful that I'm not mentioning this to your father. He's worried sick about you and Ivana."
"Well I'm worried too, but I can't do anything about it can I?" Juliana turned away, nearly letting her hair whip Montserrat's face. "I can't even see him!"
Montserrat had to pray that Juliana would see some light and be patient, otherwise there would be another type of hell coming for them.
~ 0 ~
As soon as Montserrat had gotten Juliana back home, the teenager locked herself in Montserrat's bedroom. She and Ivana had been staying there while Montserrat took the couch. But even then, Montserrat couldn't dwell too much in the suspension because she had to meet up with Damian about the bail money. Once more, they went through each other's finances, Casey's and Montserrat's father but they were still coming up short.
"Woah, what happened to my kitchen?" Kara's voice pulled the two from work to see her and Sonny walking into the apartment.
"We're just trying to figure it out again," Montserrat groaned and crumpled up an old bank statement in her hand.
"You guys are still short?" Sonny came over to see the handful of papers around Montserrat's immediate area.
"Yeah, the same 5 grand and no matter how we look at things...it doesn't add up."
"I told you guys I could put up 2 grand," Kara offered but Montserrat shook her head. "No. You need that for your salon's expenses."
"You're putting up your entire life saving's, girl," Kara countered but Montserrat still wouldn't give in.
"I'm sure, with a couple more days, we can figure it out," Damian said.
"I don't want Gael to spend another day in there," Montserrat sighed. "There's enough problems already and if I can get Gael out...that would really be nice. I just picked up Juliana because she's been suspended for 3 days."
"What happened?" frowned Sonny. The girl seemed like such a sweetheart.
"She punched a girl and broke her nose."
"Ha," Kara smirked. "Been there, done that."
"Yeah," Damian scowled at her and brought a finger to his nose as if it were still broken. "Watch out, Sonny."
The detective in question threw a concerned look at Kara.
"Juliana's getting picked on because of what's going on with Gael," Montserrat brought them back to the story. "So if I can get him out then at least he can be here to help them because obviously I'm not doing a good job."
"Hey, you're doing what you can," Damian got up from his chair and moved to Montserrat's side.
"Dad has Ivana right now because I couldn't pick her up on time from school," Montserrat brought her hands to her face. "I'm crashing here."
Damian gently pulled her hands from her face and squeezed them in his. "You're doing good. Why don't you get some rest? I can take things from here."
"Are you kidding? I can't go to sleep right now-"
But Damian pulled her right up, bringing them just a bit too close that had Sonny eyeing them. "I can take it for a couple hours. Get some rest."
"Yeah, he's right," Kara stepped forwards. "Take my room and if Juliana comes out we'll make sure she doesn't get into more trouble."
"I...I guess…" Montserrat gave the two siblings a soft smile. "Thanks. Really." She gave each a hug though it seemed to linger a bit more with Damian.
Once more, Sonny noticed it and had to hide his frown.
But before Montserrat would leave, she turned to her partner. "I've been meaning to ask, how's Nick?"
"He's good," Sonny answered her with a small smile. "The charges got dropped, actually. And, Olivia's acting commander again."
"What? What happened to Declan?"
"Some undercover mission, I don't know. But Liv's back in charge. And we're all waiting for you to come back."
"Believe me, I really want nothing but this nightmare to end too," Montserrat gave him a quick hug before leaving for a nap.
Kara waited to speak until Montserrat closed the door to her room. "Okay, now that it's just us...how bad is it?"
Damian threw a weary look at the papers left on the table. "We've gone through it dozens of times and...we are just out of money. Not to mention the fact Montserrat's solely paying Calhoun. She can't put up her entire savings for this."
"So what can we do?"
"Any of you guys got 5 grand just lying around?"
"I wish," Kara sighed. "My 2 grand still stands."
"You need that, though," Sonny reminded her. He'd love to help out but he was stuck with bills as well. Plus, he had a feeling Montserrat wouldn't he accepting his money anytime soon.
"We'll come up with something," Damian insisted. "But for right now I'm gonna head back to work. I know I told Montserrat that I would stay here and focus on the bail money but I think I would be a little bit more useful if I tried to find more evidence to help the case. Bail money becomes useless if the defendant is no longer a defendant but a convict."
"Yeah," Sonny nodded. He had mixed feelings about the guy but at least he knew Damian's heart was in the right place. "I need to head back to work too," he told Kara.
"Thanks for having lunch with me," Kara gave him a hug and a kiss before sending him off. Of course no one told her that she would be left to pick up all the papers from her kitchen table and floor.
~0~
"So she's not coming back anytime soon, then?" Olivia was disappointed, yet understood, to hear Sonny's relay of Montserrat's situation.
The detective stood in the middle of the bullpen's desks. He'd come in a few minutes before they were to discuss a new case potentially going to trial. They were only waiting for Rafael to get there.
"Nah, she's got way too much on her plate," Sonny said. "Juliana just got suspended for 3 days."
"What she do?" Amanda asked, looking just as surprised as Sonny had when he initially heard the news.
"Broke another student's nose."
"Teenagers," Fin said as of that was a reasonable explanation for anything.
"Those faces worry me," Rafael said as he came in. "Did the case go south already?"
"Everything's still intact," Olivia eased his worries. "We were only talking about Montserrat's troubles."
"Right," Rafael did a poor job looking casual. Truth was he hadn't heard from Montserrat in days and he didn't have the courage to call her. If she hadn't reached out to any of them, it was because she was too busy. He just had to learn how to control himself. "How...is she doing?"
Olivia gestured to Sonny since he had all the information. The detective shook his head. "Not so good. Way too many problems for one person to handle."
"Is no one helping her?" there was a sharp tone to Rafael's words that Sonny, and pretty much everyone else noticed.
"Well, yeah, but...it's a lot. Right now Montserrat's just focused on that bail money."
"She still hasn't collected it?"
"$5000 short."
"Oh…" Rafael let a moment of silence pass by before he moved the group onto business, but it didn't mean he'd forget what Sonny told him. And much less that it would stop bothering him.
When he was to leave, he managed to pull Sonny aside while everyone went onto their assigned tasks.
"Exactly how much does Montserrat need?" he asked very quietly once they were out in the hallway.
"About $5000 but listen, councilor, I know where you're getting at and believe me I've thought of doing the same thing," Sonny admitted in the same hushed tone Rafael used. "But I think we both know Montserrat would kill us if we tried giving her the money. Kara already tried doing the same and she got the same answer."
"That's insane. She needs help and we can give it to her." But even as Rafael said it, he knew there was no way Montserrat would take his money. She was too proud. Plus, if roles were reversed he wouldn't take money from her either.
But the thing was…
He didn't care.
He needed to help her and he had the means.
So he'd take the chance and be smart about it.
~0~
"Kara, I'm going out," Juliana was adamant despite having the blonde woman standing in front of the apartment door.
"No, you're not. Your aunt said you were grounded!"
"And I said that I wasn't!"
Kara blinked. She couldn't get how the hell Juliana turned into some temper-tantrum teenager - well, she had an idea but it still wasn't cool. "Your aunt is resting and you really need to let her. She has been spreading herself thin just to make sure you and your sister are okay."
"Well I'm not okay!" Juliana snapped. "Because my Dad isn't here! He's being accused of murder, haven't you heard?"
With a sigh, Kara leaned away from the door and walked up to the girl. "And your aunt is working so hard to prove he's innocent. Now you have to do your part and be a good listener."
Juliana scoffed and practically pushed past Kara to get to the door. Kara called for her to stop but of course Juliana never even looked back. She only slammed the door shut behind her. With a groan, Kara hurried to the door and opened it, only to bump into Rafael instead.
"I'm curious, do you or Montserrat ever just say a normal 'hello'?" he rubbed his nose with a common frown on his face.
"Sorry," Kara rubbed her own face. "You didn't happen to catch Juliana out there, did you?"
"Yeah, she looked mad as hell."
"She is." Kara sighed and let her hand drop to her side. "What are you doing here, anyways? If you came for Montserrat, good luck. She's finally getting some sleep and I doubt she'll be waking up anytime soon."
"I actually came to speak with you," Rafael admitted, reasonably surprising her since they hardly crossed words.
"Me? What for?"
"About Montserrat. Are you sure she's asleep?"
Kara nodded and motioned him to come in. "She hasn't slept in days. Trust me. She didn't wake up with Juliana's screams, so...we're good."
"Good," Rafael drew in a breath, letting Kara notice that he was nervous. That was novelty.
"What's going on?" she finally asked.
Rafael decided to just come out with it. He always blurted things out anyways. "Sonny told me that Montserrat was having trouble collecting the last of the bail money for Gael."
Kara sighed. "Yeah. She's going crazy."
"Alright, well...I want to help her with it. But I also know that…"
"Montserrat's too damn proud to take money from any of us?" Kara smiled sarcastically. "Yeah. I know her oh-so-well. And because I know her that well, I know that she won't take any money from you." Especially you, she thought.
"I know," sighed Rafael. He thought about it long and hard all day until he came up with an idea that could would work. "Which is why I'm giving you the money."
"Me!?" Kara blinked with wide eyes.
"Yeah, because she'll take the money if she thinks it's coming from you."
"No, that won't work," Kara shook her head. "I tried giving her 2 grand and she rejected it."
"Because she thought it was money that usually goes into your business. So just tell her that it's from somewhere else."
"I don't know…" Kara didn't feel right lying to Montserrat, but she also knew that maybe she'd be the only one who could actually get Montserrat to accept money from him.
Rafael reached for something inside his coat's pocket and pulled out an envelope. "It's the 5 grand."
"You walked the streets with 5 grand in your pocket!?" Kara exclaimed.
Rafael rolled his eyes. "Focus please. Take the money and make Montserrat use it."
"But she'll think it's from me and...that won't be right."
"That's the point. She'll never take money from me and I really want to help her, so…" Rafael motioned Kara to take the envelope.
Kara studied his face and realized, very quickly, that there was a desperate urge to help. She could identify with that because if Sonny was in dire need of money, she would want to help him by any means possible...and she would do whatever it took to help him. For that, she accepted the envelope. "I'll make sure she takes it," she promised for his concern.
There was an instant relief in Rafael's face. "Thank you. Really."
"You're welcome," Kara went to leave the envelope on the coffee table. She wanted to hand it to Montserrat first thing when the latter woke up.
"Thanks," Rafael headed for the door since he'd finished business, but at the last moment he turned back. "How...is she? For real?"
Kara could appreciate his attempt to be casual and discreet, but his feelings were visible from a mile away no matter what he did. "She's….she could be better. Her brother's being falsely accused of murder, so...you can understand that...it's difficult."
Rafael nodded silently.
"But I know that your help will definitely do her some good," Kara added in hopes of helping him as well.
"Wish I could do more," he blurted.
"You could," Kara wasn't afraid, like most people, to say things how they were. "But that's all up to you."
Rafael pointed at her as if he was going to say something, but in the end he opened the door and left.
"Nobody escapes Kara Mackie," Kara proudly said.
~ 0 ~
It was evening when Montserrat finally woke up, but even when she did she still felt rather tired. She emerged from Kara's bedroom to a quiet apartment. Kara was busy watching television but quickly paused the screen when she saw Montserrat.
"Hey!" she swallowed down the last of her popcorn before sitting up.
"Ivana isn't here, is she?" Montserrat assumed first. A four year old would never be this quiet.
"Uh, no. Your dad's keeping her tonight."
"And Juliana?"
Kara bit her lower lip. Yeah, she'd been debating how to go about that part. "Umm...she's...sort of...out…"
"Out?" Montserrat picked her phone from her back pocket and saw the time. "It's seven o'clock. Wait, she's not supposed to be out! She's grounded."
"Yeah that...sort of didn't take," Kara apologized with a small smile before bursting into a fit of rambles. "I'm so sorry! I tried to stop her but I really forgot what it's like being a teenager! She didn't listen - she was so mad!"
"Kara, it's alright," Montserrat sighed and sat down next to her. "I know Juliana's sort of...in a funk right now."
"But don't worry, I got your friend - Claire Wilson? She's with Juliana and she's keeping me updated in case they get into trouble."
"Well thanks," Montserrat leaned back against the couch. "But it still leaves so many other problems." She rubbed her hands over her face and groaned. Maybe she should just go back to sleep.
"Listen," Kara grabbed the remote control again and shut the television off, "I was...doing some digging through my own finances and…"
"Oh, Kara, no…" Montserrat presumed where her friend was headed. She watched Kara reach for an envelope on the table.
"I got the money, Montse," Kara put on her best smile, a hopeful one at that. "All $5000 of it. It's right here." She held the envelope to Montserrat but, as expected, Montserrat wouldn't take it.
"I can't do that. Where'd you even get the money from, you didn't have it before."
"I, uh, dug for it," shrugged Kara. She pushed the envelope to Montserrat's chest, but the ginger shook her head.
"Absolutely not. I can't take it."
"Oh!" Kara groaned. "And why not? You took it from Damian-"
"-because he's Gael's friend! You're my best friend and I know that you need this money!"
"Trust me, I really don't," Kara waved the envelope in front of Montserrat's face. "What I need is for you to take it."
"I can't do it, I'm sorry."
"Montserrat, stop being stupid. You need it - Gael needs it!"
"Gael needs me to figure it out," snapped Montserrat. "He doesn't need me taking money from other people."
"I'm not 'people', I'm family. And you know what? It's not even the reason you should take the money. You should take it because…" Kara licked her lips nervously, "...because the person who came up with this money really wants to help you." Her voice softened when she added, "He really does."
Of course that earned Kara a puzzled look from Montserrat. "What?" the ginger asked.
Kara sighed. "He's going to kill me," she concluded in a whisper, but she figured if she was killed because she tried helping her best friend it would be a worthy death.
"What the hell?" Montserrat wearily said as she dreaded what Kara was up to.
Kara drew in a deep breath as she shifted to face Montserrat. "Okay, so, that money...I'm not supposed to say, but...it's not mine."
"What, did you steal it?"
"No, Sonny would kill me, first of all. Someone gave me that money-"
"-Kara, please tell me that's not dirty money."
"Oh my God, would you just let me talk!?"
Montserrat pursed her lips together then motioned Kara to go on. "Look, I'm telling you this because I think it's only fair that you recognize the intent. I didn't come up with the money - hell, it's not even my money. Rafael stopped by this afternoon."
"...don't tell me," Montserrat narrowed her eyes on Kara, almost making the latter gulp on the spot.
"He wanted to give you the money himself but he knew you wouldn't take it-"
"-damn right I wouldn't!" Montserrat practically threw the envelope to Kara's face. "How could you accept that money!?"
"Uh, because you need it? And because Rafael was pretty insistent that you take it."
"Rule number 1 when it comes to Rafael: never listen to him!"
"I can see where most of your problems come from."
"It's not funny, Kara!" Montserrat was furious. She jumped from her seat and turned to glare at Kara. "I would never take money from him. So I'm going to give that back to him right now!"
"No you are not!" Kara hugged the envelope to her chest.
"Yes, I am!"
"Give me one good reason why you shouldn't take the money?"
"Because...because…" Montserrat shifted on her feet, the frustration getting to her as she came up with no good answer.
"Aha," Kara tilted her head. "See? You should take the money and use it to get Gael out of that hellhole."
"But I can't!" Montserrat threw her hands in the air. "It doesn't feel right!"
Kara shook her head. "Montserrat, quit being so proud and just accept the help." She patted the open spot next to her and called it a win when Montserrat actually sat down again. "Don't be stupid and please don't be proud. Rafael came with the most honest intentions and he specifically asked me not to say anything. He didn't want you to know that the money was from him."
"Well you sure screwed that up, huh?" Montserrat gently jabbed Kara on her side.
"Yeeeeah. Please keep me safe, he scares me a bit."
Montserrat laughed. "Oh c'mon."
"No, I'm serious! He's nice and all but he's scary," Kara's face only made Montserrat laugh harder. "I don't know how you do it."
"Cos he's not scary," Montserrat sobered slowly despite hearing Kara's continuous accusations of the opposite.
"Alright, so...will you take the money?"
Montserrat looked down at the envelope between them, looking unsure. "I don't...I don't know. I feel like I should just return it."
"Montse, I know I tease you and all but, being serious...he really did look worried and he was just doing what he thought was best. And he asked about you - how you were doing? C'mon," Kara now bumped shoulders with Montserrat. "Don't tell me it doesn't make your heart beat just an itty-bitty-" Kara raised her hand with an index finger just above her thumb to show the amount, "-tiny bit faster?"
Montserrat shook her head but said nothing. She wasn't going to give Kara any reason to actually tease again. "I'm over it. I'm over him. I said that a long time ago-"
"Regardless, before you take that money back...just think about it for a bit. Maybe just...consider it." Kara gave Montserrat a quick side-hug before getting up to leave.
Montserrat brought a hand to her curls as she once again looked down at the envelope. It was so stupid. There laid the solution to one of her problems and she was being too proud to take it. "Goddammit," she sighed and got up from the couch.
~ 0 ~
"Sonny?"
The last thing the detective in question thought he'd see in the D.A's building was his partner who was meant to be taking a leave from SVU. Sonny turned back in the hallway to see Montserrat coming into the building in a rush. She was bundled up in a beige-colored coat.
"Montserrat what are you doing here?" Sonny checked his watch for the time and raised his eyebrows when he realized it was a bit late for her. "It's ten o'clock."
Montserrat shrugged but her pursed lips and a gaze that couldn't seem to look him in the eyes indicated something else was at play. "I just...needed to talk to someone."
"Casey?" Sonny jerked a thumb over his shoulder.
"No, well, no…" Montserrat sighed. She would have to be a little more truthful. "I need to speak with Rafael. Is that where you were headed?"
"Yeah, uh, Liv's got me on a case and…" Sonny got the feeling she wasn't really paying attention to him. Her eyes kept flickering in the direction of Rafael's office. "Montse? Are you okay?"
Montserrat licked her lips and exhaled. "Look, Sonny, can you just give me like...5 minutes with Rafael? And then you can go in and talk about your case."
"O...kay…" Sonny looked her over and noticed she was a bit shifty. "Are you sure you're okay? Did something happen? Is there anything I can do to help you-"
Montserrat raised a hand to stop him talking. "Just give me those 5 minutes I'm asking for and we're good."
"Al-alright, go ahead," Sonny stepped aside and gestured for her to go. She gave him a grateful smile and went on her way.
In his office, Rafael was doing what he normally did each night. On one side he had the usual stack of papers and on the other side, he had the trusty glass of alcohol. He heard a noise - footsteps - outside but before he even thought of looking up, they spoke up.
"You paid my brother's bail money."
Rafael shut his eyes as if hoping this was just a hallucination. Maybe he'd finally had too much to drink. But when he opened his eyes and looked up, he saw Montserrat by the door. "Dammit," he muttered. He put his pen down and stood up. "I honestly thought Kara might manage to keep it a secret," he admitted as he moved around the desk. He had to make a compelling argument now before she killed him. Luckily, this was what he did for a living. "I know you're mad but I know you needed the money. And before you throw it at my face-"
Montserrat rolled her eyes and strode up to hug him, surprising the hell out of him. He was frozen in his spot, arms to his sides as he debated if this was real or not. Montserrat couldn't care less how he reacted or how she should react. She'd thought long and hard about what she'd say or do when she saw him and this was the only thing she felt was right. So, that's why she wrapped her arms around his neck and let that need finally be quenched.
"I'm...very confused here." It pained Rafael to admit it but he just couldn't understand why she was hugging him and not screaming at him.
Montserrat pulled away but never let go of him. "I can't be mad at you. Not when you gave away $5000 from your own pocket."
"...so you're keeping the money?"
"Well, I did think about giving it back to you but...I need to swallow my pride and use it to get Gael out. But I am going to pay you back, every last cent."
Rafael rolled his eyes at her. "Don't worry about that-"
"-but I am because it's the only way I'll truly feel okay with this."
There was no way he was going to get through to her but he didn't want to argue with her. He gave in with a nod and it definitely got a smile from her.
"Thank you so much," she said and hugged him again.
This time, he hugged her back. He held her tight as if she were going to disappear in the next second. He never really noticed how easily she seemed to fit between his arms; like she belonged right there with him.
Every time, he thought. Every time he had Montserrat that close to him he remembered how much he needed her with him. All those previous thoughts that they couldn't be that close were dismissed, forgotten, pushed away. He couldn't be that careless, not when it came to her.
Montserrat pulled away only slightly. She seemed more nervous than before, her eyes even seemed like they were struggling to look up at him. "Hey, um...I know what you said before...I know that we agreed…" she couldn't find the right words to express her feelings, no matter how much she tried. Screw it.
She kissed him. And there went his caution...again. His arms instinctively tightened around her waist, keeping her firmly pressed against him. She had the sweetest lips - even though they often threw some insults at him - and he wanted nothing more than to kiss her forever.
But he needed to remember what he was trying to do for her. He was only able to regain some type of control when he pulled away. "Montse, we can't," he whispered, but the mere fact he'd said a nickname he hardly every used was proof enough that he wasn't entirely convinced with his words. Because he really wasn't.
"Please don't say that again," she begged. She had her eyes closed and maybe it was for the better. She could feel his nose nuzzling her cheek. "I told myself before deciding to come here that I was over you and everything, but...I'm not. I'm really, really not. And I dare say that you aren't either...right?"
Rafael drew away to look in her shiny brown eyes. He tilted his head slightly, a soft smile spreading across his face. "I never said that I was."
~ 0 ~
Out in the hallway, Sonny stayed behind just like Montserrat had asked him to. He was checking his phone for an update from Liv when he heard footsteps nearing him. He looked up to see a familiar woman coming. It took two seconds flat to recognize Yelina.
Oh crap. For some reason, Sonny didn't want to let her in...or at the very least, he thought she shouldn't go into Rafael's office until Montserrat gave him the 'ok'.
"H-hi!" he practically jumped in front of Yelina without a clue of what he was going to say or do.
"Hello?" she gave him an odd, yet reasonable, look. "Do I know you?"
"Um...I'm...a friend…" Sonny said, pretty much making it up as he went along.
"Not my friend," Yelina was quick to say. "And I'm sorry but I have somewhere I need to get to." She tried moving around but Sonny quickly followed in suit to block her way.
"I'm sorry ma'am but Mr. Barba's a bit busy right now!"
Yelina tilted her head at him. "How do you know I'm here to see Rafael?"
You didn't think this through, Sonny inwardly sighed.
~ 0 ~
"It's hard, Montserrat but it's the truth. It's better if we don't do anything. I'm not good," Rafael wanted to sound as convincing as possible but he wasn't doing it right. He could've started by letting Montserrat go but his arms seemed to be on another plan.
"You say all these things like you're no good for me or that I may crash down because of you but guess what?" Montserrat's eyes became even more tearful, some of them threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes. "I'm not with you and I'm still crashing. There's no one to help me pick up the pieces."
Rafael's heart broke at her frail voice. She wasn't falling apart, but she certainly wasn't in her best state.
~ 0 ~
"Ah, so you were one of the detectives who helped put my husband on trial," Yelina's face went sour as she finally recognized Sonny. "That's nice, but...I need to go see my friend."
Once more, Sonny took the same step with her. He held his hands up just as she was becoming irritated with him. "I'm really sorry but he's with someone important right now."
Yelina raised an eyebrow at him. She had a sharp look that gave Sonny chills. "Business?" she asked.
"Uuh…not...really." Truth was that Sonny wasn't sure what was the nature of Montserrat's visit but whatever the answer was, he was sure it wouldn't please Yelina.
"Well, business or not Rafael has some explaining to do," Yelina straightened up, expression more fierce than ever. "Thinks he can blow me off without repercussions? I don't think so." She moved around Sonny and threatened him with a glare not to try getting in her way.
"Dammit," the detective muttered with a hand on his forehead. He quickly pulled out his phone but he wasn't sure who to text: Montserrat or Rafael?
~ 0 ~
"Montserrat, I'm only trying to do what's best for you," Rafael insisted but she humorlessly laughed.
"Do I look okay to you? I'm not. And I thought, that maybe - just maybe - we could finally work something out," Montserrat let go of him but she stayed as close to him as they were when they hugged. "I'm tired of pretending, tired of denying things...aren't you?"
Rafael would love to say 'yes' but that would go against the point he was trying to make. "I do care for you. It's just…"
Montserrat gently put her hands on both sides of his face. "No more long speeches, just tell me the truth."
"Truth?"
"The truth about why you don't want to be with me. Because all these speeches just sound...like speeches. Like something you rehearse for your job. I'm not a jury you have to convince. I just want you to be honest here."
"You want honesty? Fine," Rafael sighed. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep lying to himself and much less Montserrat. The truth was right in the fact that she made him lose control with one kiss. He had his thoughts organized when it came to this subject. He had plans to keep himself away from Montserrat, but then she comes right in and makes those thoughts and ideas disappear. There was no point in trying to build plans when it didn't matter in the end. He would just have to face it, face her. She got him.
"Not business," they heard from the doorway. Yelina looked a bit...fascinated by what she saw. "Definitely not."
Montserrat withdrew her hands. The expression on her face indicated an expectancy of answers because Yelina's presence made zero sense to her.
"Well, I can assume this is why you rudely left lunch early on Monday."
"Monday…?" Montserrat repeated just before it hit her. "Gael's arraignment." She laid eyes on Rafael again with a growing anger. "You were late." He was supposed to be on time, to be there with her when Gael was taken out for arraignment...and he'd almost missed it. Because he was having lunch with her.
"Yes, but I…" He really didn't have a good explanation for that one since Yelina basically beat him to it. But she said it all wrong and now he was screwed.
Montserrat exhaled as the weight of regret began hitting her. She stepped away from him. "I get it now."
"I don't think you do," Rafael said, sounding almost afraid of the conclusion she'd come to. He tried reaching for her arm but she yanked it away.
"There's the truth," she spat.
"It's not that, I swear-" he made the mistake of attempting to touch her again.
"Don't touch me!" she hissed and pushed his hands away from her. The humorless laugh that came next did not bode well. "And here I thought…" she laughed again then shook her head. "Forget it. I get it now. So sorry-" she gestured to both Rafael and Yelina, "-I got in the way. You won't have to worry about me again."
"Montserrat," Rafael called but she was storming out before he could even finish her name. There he went again screwing things up.
~ 0 ~
Sonny caught Montserrat coming out into the hallway a sprint, almost running really. "Montse! Hey!" he barely caught her arm but even then she wrestled to get free from his hands. "Montserrat, it's me!"
"I know! Let me go!"
Sonny only did so because he didn't want her yelling in the middle of the hallway. "Montserrat, what's happened?" She was in tears and he could only assume why. "Hey," his voice softened, "It's because of that woman, huh? I'm sorry. I tried to stop her-"
Montserrat laughed through her tears. "Sonny, you are the least person at fault here. This whole thing is just a mess - it was a mess from the start and you know what? I am so tired of it."
"Montse…"
"And I know that I've said this many times before but this time I really mean it: I hate--" Montserrat's voice truly snapped while she pointed at nothing in particular, "-Rafael so much. I wish I never met him."
"Montserrat, I don't think you mean it-"
"-try me, Dominick," she frantically snapped. Her hands reached behind her neck and in two seconds she had taken off the ballerina necklace Rafael gave her and chucked it at Sonny. With such speed she used, he scrambled to catch it before it would hit his face. "I mean it with every fiber of my being. I hate him!" she turned away and left in a storm.
Sonny sighed deeply. He felt like he should at least drive her home or make sure she got home safely in whatever she came in...but he wasn't stupid to believe that she would let him or anyone else near her right now. So, that just left the other side of the party.
~ 0 ~
"So I guess now I know why you cut lunch short," Yelina made it in three steps before Rafael ordered her to leave.
"You and I are done," he spat and pointed at the open door.
"I didn't do this," Yelina said what she assumed he was thinking. "You did. You always had a tendency to know better and it always backfired."
"Get out!" he shouted at her. "I don't understand what the hell you wanted from me since the beginning! And frankly, if I was even a little bit curious now I'm not! Because you just cost me the one good thing I had in my life!"
"It didn't look like that to me," Yelina cautiously approached the desk Rafael was retreating behind. "She was already upset before I walked in. I was just the tip of the iceberg."
Rafael rubbed his face in exasperation then slammed them down on the desk. "What--" his voice had sharpened, "-do you want from me? Just tell me so you can finally leave me the hell alone. What is it? Money? A hand in Alex's trial? A job? Just tell me!"
But to his mighty frustration, Yelina said nothing. She only tilted her head and studied him. His darkened expression, his narrowed eyes, his heavy breathing. He was outright furious, perhaps the most furious she'd ever seen him...and she'd known him for a very long time. "Oh my God, that detective's responsible for this?" she pointed him up and down. "That tiny thing has got you...so wrapped around her finger."
Rafael gripped the edges of his desk because otherwise, he might have actually thrown her out of the office.
With a sigh, Yelina leaned forwards on the desk but the mere action made him straighten away from the desk. "Truthfully, I don't want anything. I didn't mean to cause you harm. In fact...up until last week, I had no intention of seeing you. I thought I had made a fool out of myself plenty the last time we saw each other. I certainly had no intention of causing this...problem with that woman. She seemed nice the last time I met her. Not quite your taste but that's beside the point."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"The truth is, Rafael, you need to watch your back...as does that detective." Yelina looked around as if someone were going to eavesdrop on them. "Someone paid me good money to come see you. Don't ask me who, because I don't know. I just got a request with the promise of a decent amount that could help me and my girls get the hell out of this city."
"What do you...what do you mean? Are you joking?"
"No," Yelina shook her head. "Why else do you think I had no answer when you asked me what I wanted from you? I mean, yes, it was nice to see you but...I had no face to ask anything from you. Someone wanted me to come and see you, make sure to cause some problems with you and Detective Novak."
Rafael wanted to call her a liar, but if there was something about her was that she was no liar. And she didn't appear to be one right now. "Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because...I was not a good person to you, during the investigation and before...I blamed you for many things when the truth was I had a fair share of the fault. You and I...we didn't work. We just didn't. I wanted more. But I gambled and lost with Alex and now I have no right to take that chance away from you nor Detective Novak. I'm really sorry. And if you want, I could try to talk with her-"
"-you will stay away from her," Rafael warned, leaving no room for arguments. "I don't want you near Montserrat, do you understand? If everything you just said is true-"
"-it is-"
"-then you need to leave. Leave me alone, leave Montserrat alone and just go. I don't want to see you again."
"That's fair," Yelina nodded her head. "But I am taking the money because I need it. My girls need it."
"Sure," Rafael couldn't care less. He didn't wish her any harm but he certainly didn't care what happened in her life.
"Goodbye Rafael. Take care," she said then turned to leave. Only a few seconds after she was gone, Rafael received a visit from Sonny.
"Goddammit," he muttered. What more could this night throw him?
"Yeah, I know, not a place I expected to be," Sonny sighed. "I just came for the warrants you promised Liv. I didn't expect to be right at the center of all...this…"
"I will send them, get out," Rafael returned to his seat.
"Don't do that."
"I'm not doing anything. I have a lot of work to do so please get out." And maybe a lot of drinking too. Who knew.
Sonny drew in a deep breath, mumbling an 'oh boy' before he started off with what could either be his death sentence or the solution to Rafael's problems. "Listen, I'm not speaking to you as a co-worker, I am going to speak to you as a friend because right now you need one. What the hell are you doing, Rafael?"
Rafael could honestly say that he had no idea. "It wasn't like I planned it," he said as a means of defence.
"No, because that would be incredibly stupid," Sonny's flat tone wasn't appreciated in the least. "Can I just ask, in all seriousness...why?" Rafael gave him a confused look. "Help me understand because as much as we both hate it, the reality is I know everything. Literally. Why make all this trouble if you actually do like Montserrat? I don't get it."
Well it was bad enough Sonny knew everything, but now Rafael would have to explain himself? Again? He rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing this, Carisi. You can go."
"No," the detective flatly refused. "Because each time you screw up more than the last time and you should know that this time...you royally screwed up. Montserrat despises you."
"I didn't plan this - I actually had a very different plan in mind...but Yelina cut me off. She has terrible timing. And now Montserrat hates me."
"Yeah she does."
Rafael paused to glare at Sonny. "Aren't you supposed to be helping here or did I misread the conversation?"
Sonny rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright. Truth is, if Kara told me she hated me I'd lose my mind. I need her just as I'm sure you need Montserrat."
"Let's not go confusing things." This time, Rafael's arguments wouldn't win against the detective.
"I'm not. Because it's not a question of 'want' anymore, you have a 'need'."
"What?"
Sonny took a seat down as he began to explain. "Look, I don't 'want' to see Kara. I need to see Kara. Every day. I don't want to spend time with her, I need to. It's a need that I can't push away because...because I love Kara. The 'want' fades away fairly quick but the 'need'...that doesn't go away. That's what you have with Montserrat now. You need her."
Rafael didn't like that Sonny actually thought he knew what he wanted - needed. It was ridiculous...was it? She makes you throw your plans away, he reminded himself. You have no control when she's around.
Sonny watched the internal struggle for a few minutes before he took pity and further explained. "You remember those times where you asked me to find Montserrat? Because you wanted to see her? Well, you didn't want to see her. You needed to see her. You needed to make sure she was okay. And right now, do you want to see Montserrat? Or do you need to go and make sure she's alright?"
Well, the answer was evident, wasn't it?
"And listen, I wasn't going to say anything because it's, well, childish but...you should know that you're not the only one who has eyes on Montserrat."
Now that piece of information was surprising. Rafael tilted his head, for a second almost accusing Sonny.
"Don't get any ideas, councilor. I meant someone else. Uh, Damian." Sonny knew that alone was shocking but it did feel good to finally tell someone the secret that'd been gnawing at his mind.
"What?" frowned Rafael. "He wouldn't-"
"-oh but he would. You know that Kate Spade watch Montserrat proudly wears? Damian got it for her. He knows that's her favorite store. He likes her and if you continue to act like this, you're going to push her straight to him. Is that what you want? Is it really what you want?"
"Well of course not," Rafael found himself blurting. He shifted in his seat after realizing how fast that'd come out. "I already told you that I did plan on telling her. I was seconds away when Yelina made her...presence known."
"Well that's good," Sonny nodded. "Because we have a lot of work to do here." He reached for something in his pocket then put it down on the desk, revealing the ballerina necklace Montserrat had practically thrown at him. "If there's one thing I've figured out about women is that you can't outsmart them. But maybe two of us can and we can get you five minutes with her. Your fast mouth might just save you."
Rafael smiles for the first time. "With any luck."
Author's Note:
There's angst in the air, can you feel it?