Today was Montserrat's first official day back at SVU after a long leave. Before today, Olivia had tasked Montserrat with catching up on all their cases as some of them were forming links between past and present cases. And considering some of those cases had to do with the biological mother of Olivia's foster son, Noah, Olivia wanted everyone up to date on the Ellie Porter cases. It wasn't anything Montserrat couldn't handle. In fact, she'd finished the cases two days before she was scheduled back.

So when it was finally time to go back to work, Montserrat was ready a few hours before her clock-in time. With a few hours to kill, she thought of one place where she could do something productive. That was her opinion, anyways.

"But are you actually ready to come back to work?" Rafael asked her for the third time since she'd dropped by his office. He was all for having her come back to work where he could see her more often but only if she was truly ready for it. He'd much rather visit her after work.

Montserrat groaned. Apparently, not even sitting on his lap would effectively distract him. Maybe it was the formal clothing she had on, who knew. "Yes, I am. Everyone keeps asking me that. Yes, I am so ready to go back to work. I'm so bored at home, you don't even know!"

"I just want to make sure you're not rushing or anything. Your brother was accused of murder-"

"Framed, more like it-"

"And they still have no clue who did it-"

"-and they'll keep investigating. Trust me, I'm on their asses. But look, even Gael's gone back to work. It's good for everyone, okay? I really need it."

Rafael nodded. She did look prepared but he couldn't help but worry that something related to her brother's case would set her back.

"Besides," Montserrat slid her arm around his neck, "We'd be able to see each other more if I'm back at work. Doesn't that sound good?" She purposely leaned on him with a knowing smile on her face. She'd long figured out he liked her on his lap. She got a lot more 'yes' that way.

Rafael softly smiled at her. "Of course." He did admit to missing her presence whenever he visited the squad at the precinct. Smart remarks or not, she made the visit all the more worth it.

Satisfied with his response, she gave him a kiss. "I guess I should get going," she said afterwards.

"Already?" Rafael turned his wrist over to see the time on his watch. "Oh, right. There's actual work now."

Montserrat chuckled. "Yeah. Which means we have to be on guard next time we see each other. So will you be able to control yourself?"

Rafael deadpanned her for a few seconds. "You're the one sitting on my lap. Besides, you're the one who kept throwing yourself at me."

Montserrat gasped and meant to hit him but Rafael caught her hand. "You take that back or I'll-"

Rafael laughed as he hitched a leg up and made Montserrat's body slide against him. "It's alright, Montserrat. I get it."

Montserrat finally yanked her hand out of his grip and frowned. "You're not funny."

And yet, Rafael was close to laughing again. "You're going to be late for work," he bopped her nose.

"You don't bop noses," she muttered.

"Well, you've been making me do things I don't usually do," he shrugged.

She playfully rolled her eyes and patted a hand over his chest. "Okay, Mr. Drama Queen. I'll just go." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips before standing up.

"Take it easy, okay?"

She straightened her jacket up and moved for the door. "Don't worry, I'm fine. But you know what?" she looked back at him once she stood by the door.

"What?"

"You might want to give Carmen a raise or something."

Rafael made a face, clearly confused. "Why?"

"Because I've been in here for an hour and she hasn't heard any of our usual fights."

Rafael tilted his head in consideration.

Montserrat smirked. "You better treat her extra nice now." She opened the door and left.

Rafael sat in silence for a few seconds and eventually smiled to himself. He picked up the landline and called. "Carmen? Can you come in here for a second?"

~0~

Montserrat wasn't fine with lying, but she considered this to be a little lie. She had gone to her therapist before work. She had asked Olivia if she could come in just a bit late today and of course Olivia gave her the ok. Montserrat felt like there was a lot she needed to say before she could get into work mode.

"It's been a while," Dr. Weslin noted once their session began.

"A bit, yeah," Montserrat scratched the side of her head. "Didn't mean to let such a big gap happen but... there's just so many things that have happened and I…" she brought her hands to her curly hair, making Weslin smile in amusement.

"Well, why don't we take it little by little?" suggested the doctor.

Montserrat agreed and started with her brother's case finally being dismissed.

"Everything's good with him except for the fact that we still don't know why he was framed nor who did it," she sighed.

"There's no more evidence?"

"As of right now, it's a cold case. It just doesn't make any sense, you know? But I'm not letting it get to me. Gael is doing fine, his girls are...and I am. We'll get to the bottom of it in time," Montserrat nodded to herself as she spoke. That's what she'd been telling herself and it was actually pretty convincing enough so that she wouldn't get so worked up.

"That's a good mindset you have," Weslin praised her, though she suspected there was something else that was driving Montserrat towards this content path. And it seemed like Montserrat caught onto Weslin's thoughts. The therapist had been giving her a tilted-head study for a few minutes now and Montserrat came to learn that was the woman's day of deducing what else was going on with her patients.

So, Montserrat went ahead and told Weslin about the new relationship she was in. It felt odd explaining the fact she and Rafael were together now, after so many sessions where she constantly rejected any idea that she had feelings for him. "Yeah, I know. I used to want him to leave me alone and it turns out...I don't want him to leave me alone, like ever."

Weslin actually chuckled.

"We've only been seeing each other for about two weeks now, but...it's been a pretty good two weeks," Montserrat sighed with a dreamy smile. "We're kind of in this nice bubble where no one knows. It's nice."

Weslin nodded in acknowledgement. "It's very nice to hear you're doing better. But I'd like to focus more on this due to your last thoughts about any relationships."

Montserrat's smile wanted to fade but she kept thinking about the last two weeks and how everything was going just fine. "I know what I said, but...I like being with Rafael. It's fun, it's nice and he makes me feel good."

"And you know that I am content hearing this but I don't want you to ignore any possible triggers, or be casual about them," Weslin lowered her notepad to her lap and really looked at Montserrat. The detective was shifting a bit but so far…

Montserrat had picked at the skin underneath her right hand's thumb.

There it was.

"Montserrat, you know the point of you being here - coming to every session - is so that you can talk about yourself and anything that surrounds you, so...is there anything you might want to talk about pertaining to this new relationship?"

Montserrat swallowed hard. Her gaze seemed to have fallen slowly to the ground. "I…I meant what I said. I do like being with Rafael…"

"You don't have to be guilty," Weslin cautiously said once she began to get the feeling Montserrat was purposely keeping things out of the session because of guilt. "You can enjoy any relationship you're in, despite feeling some setbacks."

Montserrat raised her gaze then, revealing another small smile that seemed to want to disappear like the one before. "We've been on like three dates and I've loved them all. I like the hugging, the hand holding, the kisses, but then…" she sighed, scrunching her face out of frustration. "There was this moment last week where I…" the air in her lungs suddenly seemed to get thinner, making her sound like she was out of breath. "We were in his office and naturally we started kissing and…one of his hands might have gone a little higher up along my thigh than I...expected in that moment...and I stopped it. I stopped everything." She shook her head fervently at the memory. She knew it hadn't been a big deal for Rafael. He just understood she wasn't quite ready for that but Montserrat kept thinking about that evening for days afterwards.

"What did you feel exactly?" asked Weslin.

"Like…" There went the loss of air again. Montserrat watched Weslin motion her to slowly breathe in and tried to follow. "Like I was back...with him." Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "And it's terrible because I know Rafael would be nothing like that but I just couldn't stop the memories from coming back. They hadn't been back for a while now…"

"Well, the start of a new relationship after a traumatic experience like that one is bound to make some of these memories resurface," Weslin explained. "And I repeat that you have no reason to feel guilty about those feelings."

"It's a little hard when I have this wonderful man at my side and he has no idea why I was so weird."

"Did he happen to ask about that situation?"

Montserrat shook her head, smiling bitterly. "No. One of the things about us is that our jobs have pretty much created this clear line of consent. I don't need to explain why, and neither would he."

Weslin nodded. "That sounds good, but now I have to ask...do you plan on telling him about your past?"

Montserrat took in a shaky breath. "I...I don't know. It's far too early to spill something like that. Plus, I'm a little scared to be honest."

"Natural," assured Weslin. "But I do have to point out that a relationship works when there's honesty. Plus, I do recall you having problems with him specifically because you would lash out at him because he tread too close to your rape. That's not healthy. And if we're being honest - and off the record - it's not too fair to him either."

Montserrat bit on her lower lip after swallowing a lump in her throat. She knew that was all logical and on point, but there was no easy way to reveal a secret like that. Plus, she liked where she was with Rafael right now. There were no problems, no actual arguments...just a nice bubble around them.

She really didn't want to ruin that.

~0~

Montserrat got to work on time and showed off the fact she truly did catch up on all of SVU's latest cases. She knew exactly who they currently had in custody and in the hospitals. "Has Diego Ramirez said any word to you guys?" she asked after reviewing Sonny's latest notes.

"Nah," her partner shook his head. "But his prints did match ones on the gas can found at Ellie Porter's murder."

"Does he have a lawyer, then?"

"Hasn't shown up yet. But it's not like it matters. Not-" Sonny leaned forwards on his desk and nodded towards the hallway, "-when we grabbed the girls Joaquin Menendez had stashed in his house, he's just one of the puzzles pieces we can't figure out."

"Hm," Montserrat propped an elbow on the desk and rested her chin over her hand. "But we're still technically nowhere since Luna didn't talk and that Missy girl said nothing."

"I've got something that'll make her talk," Amanda suddenly said, pushing her chair away from her desk. She stretched her arms over her head, seeming tired already from her in-depth search. "She might have been a mother to one of the kids we found last May."

"And we're just now finding out?" Fin gave her a look, but Amanda just rolled her eyes and got up to go inform Olivia. A few seconds later, Fin's cell phone went off. He took the call as it turned out to be from Nick.

"How's he doing, by the way?" Montserrat quietly asked Sonny while the call went on. She fiddled with a pen until it somehow found the edge of her mouth. "I haven't really talked to Nick in a while."

"He's just doing what he can," Sonny said. "But it's been a month since he's been put on officer duty."

"Maybe we can visit," Montserrat said in passing just before Fin hung up.

"So Amaro said everything worked," Fin put his cellphone down on the desk. "Joaquin now owes him a favor. Said he'd put him on retainer."

"Well, I'm glad Joaquin's happy," Olivia emerged from her office with Amanda in tow. "Did we get anything out of the raid?"

"Look, TARU is going through the girls' cell phones. The numbers match the ones on the craigslist ads," Sonny answered. "And lots of phone calls from midtown hotels. But all the girls had the same app for a same car service, Quickride."

"I know that app. Their ads pop up everywhere," Montserrat raised her chin from her hand. "Drive for us, make four grand a month," she recited from memory and scoffed. "I bet they're making a lot more than that driving around out-calls."

"Let's give them a visit, then," Olivia suggested and as soon as she had said it, she had Montserrat standing up.

"Can I go?" the detective was all for the idea. Olivia understood the woman's tenacity to return to work, so she gave Montserrat the nod. Montserrat eagerly grabbed her blazer off her chair and hurried out.

"Montserrat?" Sonny called from the bullpen's threshold and by that time Montserrat was already halfway towards the elevator. "Wait for me?"

Montserrat smiled. "Better hurry up."

Sonny rolled his eyes when she playfully gestured to run. He did, however, sprint towards the elevator. She couldn't help laugh when he barely made it inside the elevator.

"You're not funny," Sonny gave her look as she pressed the button to go down.

"Bet you missed me," she smiled cheekily.

"Yeah," Sonny didn't have a problem admitting to it. He even said with a happy smile. "Carisi and Novak back on the case."

Montserrat laughed. "Right."

~0~

The two detectives had no problem getting through the line of Quickride employees to the major boss. One flash of their badges and suddenly no one had to do with anything. Once they got to the boss, however, it was a little harder to dismiss the detectives' case.

"A prostitution ring?" the man, Angel, practically groaned out of frustration. "Not again. My brother's on the job in Miami, so I know how these things work, but there's not much I can do."

"Uh," Montserrat tilted her head and gave the man a sharp glare, "Yes, there is something you can do. How about giving us the names and addresses to these accounts?"

The man shook his head. "We don't record that for privacy reasons. You saw what happened with Uber. I spent three years building up this business, I'm not gonna see it go down because drivers were arrested for harassing female customers."

"All right, well, how are the accounts paid?" Sonny asked, thinking it was a better alternative to use before Angel completely shut down on them.

"Some direct deposit, some billed monthly, some coin. These accounts, all paid by an offshore LLC. Address is a PO box."

"And you mentioned earlier you've had this problem before?"

"I had to close an account about five months ago. Drivers were complaining about a man being rough with young girls in my cars."

"This guy got a name?" Montserrat watched Angel go through his computer for the account. She wasn't about to let the man purposely mess things up for them.

"Tino Aguilar," Angel finally said after a couple of minutes. "He wasn't happy when I cut him off. A real badass."

Sonny and Montserrat exchanged looks of dread. It seemed like everything was coming back to the very beginning - to when Ellie Porter was alive.

~0~

"So we need to go back to Little Tino again," Olivia concluded after hearing out Montserrat and Sonny. She pulled her glasses off and set them on her desk

The case was already getting weary for her, and now with Ellie being thrown back in the mix?

"Where exactly is he right now?" asked Montserrat.

"In Attica," said Sonny. "But he's not going to talk to any of us. Believe me, we've tried."

Montserrat thought for a minute what best alternative they could use. "Well, how about you let me go?" she asked. "I haven't talked to him and he doesn't even know me. Maybe seeing a new detective will make him think he has options now."

Olivia considered her idea and could agree that perhaps it was their best option at the moment. God knows she tried one way and another to get Tino to talk and maybe that's why Tino stayed silent. He knew she had a special interest in the case because of Ellie and Noah. "Let's do it," Olivia straightened up in her seat. "But you're not going up there alone."

"It's really fine-"

"Let's really make sure we convince Tino he has leverage," Olivia reached for her desk phone. "How hard would it be to get Barba to consider witness protection for Little Tino?"

Montserrat scrunched her face and tilted her head. Oh, these little bits were going to be extra funny. "Uuum...I'm pretty sure I can convince him."

Olivia let a small chuckle come out from her mouth, obviously finding it a joke, but Sonny cleared his throat with the intention of saying something else. Montserrat discreetly elbowed his side...a warning not to even try anything. Of course that didn't wipe the smirk off his face.

~ 0 ~

"I may have just cancelled our lunch plans," Montserrat came up to Rafael outside the Attica prison. "Sorry about that."

Rafael tilted his head at her with a sarcastic look on his face. "Somehow, you don't look very upset."

Montserrat shrugged her shoulders and looked at the dim, gray building. "Well, you know, I figured what better way to spend some time together than going to a maximum security prison?"

"Completely normal for us," Rafael resolved this would just become another part of their relationship.

The two headed inside the building to make the visit. They were on a tight schedule, as Olivia reminded Montserrat.

"Can't say I missed these parts," Montserrat crinkled her nose once they stood inside the terrible visitation room. Unlike their usual prisons, this one had them encased in squared-jail cells.

"You doing okay?" Rafael gently touched her arm. They were waiting for Tino to be brought to them.

Montserrat softly smiled at him. "Of course I am." She took his hand off her arm and lowered it so that no one would see their interlocked hands. "Now would you quit worrying? You're kind of embarrassing me at work. Sheesh." Rafael rolled his eyes, intending on cutting that sarcasm when they heard the cell doors opening.

Tino was brought in handcuffs and was forced to sit down at the table. Montserrat didn't waste time and took a seat across him.

"I don't know you," the man immediately said. His cold eyes raked her over with mild interest then looked behind her to Rafael. "Nor you."

"I'm Detective Novak, from SVU," Montrserrat cleared her throat and gestured to Rafael, "And this is ADA Barba."

"Novak?" Tino gave Montserrat a more interested study, one that Rafael wasn't particularly fond of. "The detective?"

Montserrat slowly nodded, not quite sure why Tino was giving her another look. "Yeah. And we need to know about Quickride, you know? The app your girls used. My co-workers just busted another house that used Quickride. So, we're here for the same question my Sergeant has been asking you: who's in charge of all this shindig?"

Tino scoffed lightly. "I'm already in jail for rape and murder."

"And that's why I'm here," Rafael spoke up. "You talk and we can arrange Witness Protection."

Tino turned his head, of course not believing it straightaway. "You can get me off from that?"

"I'm here, aren't I? You cooperate, Witness Protection is one phone call away."

But Tino still didn't give in. "If I talk, everybody's gonna know it's coming from me."

"No they won't," Montserrat shook her head and leaned a bit forward. "Because didn't you hear me? You have cover now. We have the other house, we have the car service. We even have a shooter in custody right now for trying to take out one of the working girls. If there was ever a time to say something, it'd be now. Somebody's gonna give up your boss. You're the last person that they're thinking about."

"But none of those witnesses talked yet? Doesn't that tell you something?"

Montserrat's eyes narrowed. "It tells me that you're all cowards, but that's beside the point. You, though, you can be the smart one and get out. And it starts by answering who ordered Ellie Porter's murder?"

"You shouldn't ask questions like that," Tino said instead of answering.

"Considering it's my job I will ask whatever the hell I want to ask," she snapped. Now she was seeing why Olivia was so agitated with the man.

"Hm," Tino once again looked her over, this time with a small smile. "It is you."

"Excuse me?"

Suddenly, Rafael got a feeling Tino had more information than what Olivia previously thought, but it didn't pertain to their case. And for that matter, he inched closer to Montserrat.

"You said Novak, right?" Tino kept his eyes locked with Montserrat's. "The detective from Queens' Homicide?"

Montserrat raised her head a bit. Something was wrong. "How did you know that?"

"D'Amico," Tino suddenly said and it was an honest sight seeing the detective's color drain from her face. "Everybody heard when her crew went down, but not everyone's in here, right?"

"I don't…" Montserrat took in a shaky breath.

"I wouldn't continue getting so comfortable because not everybody follows the rules. You might not be so protected."

Before Montserrat could ask for clarification - if she would ever find her voice again - Rafael slammed a hand on the table. "Are you stupid enough to threaten a detective in front of a DA when he's offering you a deal?"

Tino met his fierce gaze but there was no malicious intent that Rafael could see in the man...and that was even more infuriating. It was the fact Tino felt he had enough power from where he was to make such threats, and much more towards Montserrat? Who the hell did he think he was?

Montserrat touched Rafael's arm, unknowingly pulling him out of his thoughts. She gave him a small shake of her head, but there was a clear fear in her eyes he couldn't ignore. "He doesn't know what he's saying," she said quietly.

"All I'm saying is, if I was you, I'd leave this alone," Tino said in the end. "Some of your own guys are working against you."

Rafael never had to control himself so much, but it was probably going to become a thing...whether or not Montserrat wanted it. He didn't want to see anyone making threats towards her, not even joking matters.

"He was saying nonsense, Rafael, it doesn't matter," Montserrat hurriedly made her way out of the prison. As calm as she was trying to portray, she felt her insides twisting and churning. How the hell could Tino know about her? There was no way! Absolutely no way!

"Are you kidding me?" Rafael yanked her arm once they were outside, turning her around. "He made a threat-"

"He didn't," she insisted, but he saw right through her.

"Montserrat, your face is pale as a ghost," Rafael touched her cheek. Even her skin was cold. "You're nervous."

"Of course I'm nervous - you're making me nervous!" Montserrat snapped. "You're making a big deal over something that's not!"

Rafael knew better than to take her bait of distraction. She was trying to deflect his attention by blatantly denying and putting the problem on him. Nice try, he thought, almost smirking. She was subtly sneaky and that was one thing he could openly admit to liking now. "He said D'Amico and that's when you started getting nervous. Who is that?"

Montserrat's small bitter laugh was just another attempt at being casual that Rafael saw through. "There's no one-"

"Why are you acting so weird? I just want to help," Rafael said, but she shook her head.

This is what Weslin was talking about, Montserrat remembered. Her past just wouldn't leave her alone and it certainly wasn't fair to Rafael. He looked sincerely worried but Montserrat couldn't take his help. She didn't know how to take it.

"Montserrat?"

"I need to head back to the precinct. Thanks for coming with me." She offered him a smile and a brief kiss on the lips.

"I don't…" Rafael didn't finish on account of Montserrat already being too far to hear. He'd forgotten, were relationships supposed to be this hard sometimes?

~0~

Dr. Weslin was surprised to find her patient already waiting for her outside the office. It was pretty early even for her.

"I just have a lot to talk about," Montserrat apologized once Weslin opened the office door and let her in.

"Did something happen?"

Montserrat found her usual seat on the couch and started divulging the happenings at Attica from the day before. "I mean - I completely convinced myself that I would never have to hear anything about that crew...and then Tino shows up. And he apparently knows everything?"

"Do you think this man actually does know everything?" Weslin asked, truly making Montserrat wonder.

"I...I just assumed he does. 'You said Novak, right? The detective from Queens' Homicide?' What else could that mean?" Montserrat groaned and brought her hands up to her face. "And of course, to top it all off, Tino said all this in front of Rafael. It's exactly what I didn't want. Now he's asking me questions and I don't really know how to answer."

"It goes back to what we were discussing in our last session: do you plan on revealing anything?"

Montserrat dropped her hands to her lap. "I'm scared. I-I don't know how to tell Rafael that-that I…" she swallowed a lump in her throat. Her face scrunched with the struggle she face to even say it to her therapist, something Weslin already knew.

"Breathe, Montserrat," Weslin instructed. Montserrat had grabbed her own hand to nip at the skin under her index finger.

The detective obeyed and breathed in slowly. Once she felt able enough to speak, she started again, "How do I tell Rafael that some…" her face scrunched again, but this time she pushed through, "...some drug lord's lackey raped me? How do I tell him that? I haven't even told my family about it. Only Casey knows. And that's just because she was my emergency contact."

"This is not going to be an easy task, If you are going to reveal the secret, but perhaps there is a tactic we can employ. Perhaps instead of saying the entire truth, you could start piece by piece." Weslin's suggestion was one Montserrat would consider but it still scared her to death.

Even as Montserrat left the office, she tried imagining how she would even start that conversation with Rafael. Where would she even begin? How would she know how much to say? When to stop? Maybe as soon as she saw Rafael's horrified face she would stop.

"Way too hard," she mumbled after coming to a stop at a pedestrian light. She needed to figure something out or else things with Rafael wouldn't last very long. He was kind, but everyone had their limits.

The pedestrian light flashed for her to go but just as she'd stepped onto the road. a car swerved by and shot bullets her way. Her body - as well as everyone else around her - instinctively ducked but the car's wind force made Montserrat fall against the sidewalk.

Author's Note:

Yes, yes...I did end it like that :)

As always, I have a tumblr account dedicated to my fanfic works! It's a place where anyone can comment about a story or even just talk to me! I often drop aesthetic work belonging to my stories too! Feel free to check it out, my URL is "noble-crescent" and the tag I created for any posts having to do with my work is # noblecrescentedit.