"Ladies, we have a potential crisis on our hands," said Yae Miko from the pulpit. "Once, again it's coming. The most dreadful time of the year. I'm talking of course about the horrible No-Nut November."

Mirror Maiden, Lisa, and Yelan shuddered. Eula gulped, knowing the impossible task ahead of her. Noelle cocked her head and asked, "What is Donut November?"

"Sounds delicious," said Ei.

"It's not," snapped Yae Miko. "For the entirety of November, every creature is expected to abstain from all erotic activities, or they forfeit five Mora and their Nut Pass."

"Oh no!" Mona wrung out her hands in dismay. "I can't afford that!"

Ningguang bit her tongue before she could inquire how Mona had so little Mora on hand. Even as a child selling seashells, Ningguang had more than five Mora.

"Come on," said Yoimiya. "Nobody has to do it. It's optional."

The Shrine Maiden glowered.

"You risk social judgment if you don't participate," said Miko. "Do you know what people who abstain from NNN are called? Do you?! No, I'm afraid we'll all feel obligated to participate come November unless we take preventive measures immediately. I propose we ban No Nut November in the Serenitea Pot."

Hu Tao chuckled. "Come on, nobody wants a war on No Nut November. That's like how those stupid Sages declared war on the Subzeruz Festival"

"IT'S NOT A BELOVED HOLIDAY; IT'S TORTURE!"

"Well, maybe for you," murmured Arlecchino.

"Shut up, Perry. You mock me now, but come November, you'll be the first to crack and we'll become monkeys in a tree flinging crap at each other! Trust me, I've lived over 500 years, I've seen it happen! How do you think Khaenr'iah fell?!"

"Um… Miko," Ei frowned. "That's not why Khaenr'iah collapsed."

"But the nation collapsed in November! Coincidence? I think not!"

"This doesn't seem like a productive use of time," said Ganyu. "How long are you going to keep up this filibuster?"

"As long as it takes," she declared.

The lewder UHA members applauded Senator Miko's resolve. Eula stood up and cheered, knowing she'd never last a month. Mirror Maiden cried proud tears. A whole section of Congress began a hymn:

"Fondle the boob, and bust out the lube,"

"We must screw; God wants us to,"

"Don't be a prude, let's be lewd,"

"Deny the Nut; Do the Smut."

Their hymn broke into an elegant eight-part harmony with Mirror Maiden as the leading soprano. It went on for over ten verses with that unrestrained passion.

The more wholesome UHA members like Noelle, Ganyu, and Collei were baffled. Their whole congressional session had been completely derailed by this anti-Nut crusade.

Mualani leaned over to Dehya and asked, "Are meetings always like this?"

Dehya shrugged, "Welcome to the family, kid."

When the chorus ebbed between the verses, Yanfei leaped into the debate.

"I have an idea," she declared. Miko restrained her followers, permitting the lawyer to speak. "We can claim medical exemption. Not for us, but for Aether. Remember when Katarina joined our ranks? He had to do it a lot or he'd die. How about the UHA releases a joint statement saying that we can't do the No-Nut challenge in case Aether ever needs us."

"Yes, yes! That could work!" Yae Miko grinned. "Oh, Yanfei you beautiful, wonderful lawyer with your loopholes."

"Cool," she said. "So, if that's settled, can we get back to discussing the budgetary and infrastructure issues already?"

Once the statement had been drafted and issued after an hour of debate, Congress finalized the budgetary and infrastructure plans within five minutes, approved them, and went home.