Part 5
James visited his father when he was sure that his brother was busy elsewhere.
"So what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" Dave asked. "I've seen more of you in the last few months than I have in a long time."
"I'm sorry about that, we all have busy lives," James said, as he took a sip of wine his father had poured for him. "I'll try to be around more."
"I wonder why," Dave said amused.
"What can I say I never knew I had a baby brother, so I'm hanging around more to get to know him better," James shrugged.
"So what are your conclusions?" Dave asked.
"Well, he's really super intelligent," James said, as he thought about what he had learned.
"Yes, he is," Dave agreed, stirring the tomato sauce.
"His childhood wasn't very easy," James added after taking another sip of wine.
"And how did that make you feel," Dave asked.
"Like I wanted to go beat up William Reid with my bare hands," James said candidly.
"I felt the same," Dave told his son who nodded. "Both of us and Caroline lost almost 30 years with Spencer due to his actions. Still, prison is no easy place James, especially a federal one. I put the word out that he kidnapped a baby from his family and then treated him like crap. You might not think that people who are in prison care about that kind of thing, but believe me a lot of them do. They might be bad people, but there're some things that a lot of them will never do. This isn't true of all criminal offenders of course, because some do kidnap babies for ransom or because their pedophiles or simply because they are sick in their mind and have fun torturing a baby or a young child before they kill them. The world is full of very sick people James, but a lot of them have certain standards of what they will or will not do, so I expect William Reid's time in prison will be even tougher than it would have been otherwise."
"That will have to be enough," James said.
"It will be, because these people will make his life miserable for a very long time hopefully, 20 or 30 years, which is the same amount of time that William Reid took your brother and my son from us and from Caroline. This way our hands are clean and he gets what he deserves, which might have happened anyway, even without me saying anything, as at least one of them is bound to have seen the media coverage of the trial and likely more."
"This isn't something you would normally do," James said knowing that his father wouldn't normally even suggest doing what he had already done. No, usually, he was very law-abiding, but he supposed that this could be considered a special case.
"No, you know, I wouldn't have," Dave said and James nodded. "In this case though, I feel it is justified. If William Reid had treated Spencer well while he was growing up, I would still have been happy to see him in prison, but I probably wouldn't have asked the guards I know over there to spill why he was there to the inmates, appropriately edited of course. I know very well what often happens to children that are kidnapped, but William Reid just wanted a child that would carry on the family name to replace his son that was dying due to an uncorrectable medical issue, not because he desperately wanted a child to love. I'm sure Diana Reid would've been devastated when she learned her son had died and might not have been willing to try again, but who knows she might very well have been willing despite the schizophrenia. According to Spencer her schizophrenia wasn't as bad back when he was born and didn't get so for several years. She might've been willing to try to have another child, but William Reid jumped the gun."
"Spencer thinks it's possible he had a psychic break, maybe when he heard that his son was not going to live past a few days," James said.
"That's certainly possible," Dave conceded. "We'll never be sure if that's the case or not, but that still doesn't excuse his actions. It was pure chance that I happened to notice that birthmark that is on his hip, the same one that Peter had when he was born. Normally, we don't share a room on cases, but Morgan was visiting his family in Chicago and Spencer usually shares with him."
"So it was pure chance that you were sharing a room," James said and Dave nodded.
"Yes, pure chance as you said," Dave agreed. "I had noticed similarities of course, but I put it down as coincidence, until after I saw that birthmark. It was the birthmark, which is rather unique, that confirmed that my son was not dead after all. Of course, Spencer and I had to have a blood test in order to confirm it, because he doesn't look as much like me or Caroline as you do. He does look a great deal like his mother, but a lot of people share similar features so that's not a sure indication."
Dave placed the spaghetti he had been cooking on the table on a huge platter.
"Help yourself," Dave suggested smiling at his oldest son.
"I just love your spaghetti, dad," James said smiling in return.
"It's one of my favorites too and it's not that hard to prepare," Dave said as he helped himself to a large portion of the spaghetti, and took several pieces of garlic bread that was on another large plate.
Father and son ate in silence for awhile and James tried to come up with a way to bring up the subject he wanted to.
"What's on your mind, James?" Dave asked finally seeing that his son was agitated and had been since he had surprised him with his visit.
James stared at him in surprise and shook his head. He had stopped being amazed years ago that his father could practically read his mind, or at least it seemed like that, but really his dad was just profiling him like he did when he was working a case. He knew very well and that his father tried not to do so, but it wasn't something you could just shut off when you didn't need it. James also knew that his father knew him very well, which was at least partially why he could read his son so easily.
"It's nothing bad," James said finally giving in. "Spencer and I had lunch a few days ago and I started teasing him on whether or not he had a girlfriend."
"Oh, I know where this is going," Dave said immediately. "He blushed and told you was none of your business, didn't he?"
"Yes, he did," James admitted. "I could tell he was rather irritated at me."
"He's not used to having people that truly love him or used to having a brother to tease him about his love life," Dave told James who nodded, as he had figured that out for himself. "While the team loves him in their own ways it's a totally different type of relationship from love of a family. We're not really supposed to profile each other, but it's not something you can shut off as you know. He's really not used to people asking about his love life and he's so self-contained that Morgan assumed for a long time that he was a complete innocent in that area. Morgan used to tease him about finding himself a girlfriend, but Spencer never responded. This is not to say he hasn't had several girlfriends over the years, just that he's very private about that part of his life. As to your question yes, I know who he's interested in, but I'm not going to tell you who. For one thing Spencer doesn't know I'm aware that he's in love with someone and if he found out I told you that may damage our relationship and considering I just found him I won't risk that. You really don't want Spencer mad at you trust me on that, James, as he's been betrayed so many times in the past that he doesn't trust easily, and I'm not going risk damaging the trust I have built over the last few years. He's finally beginning to open up more to me then he has to anybody as far as I know and I won't risk damaging that."
James sighed in disappointment, but he knew he would never be able to convince his father otherwise as he wouldn't risk his relationship with his newly found son. James couldn't really blame his father for that, because his dad had believed that his youngest son was dead for nearly 30 years after all, which would've been painful for any parent or at least ones that loved their children. Both of them had lost out on nearly 3 decades with Peter who was Spencer now, all because of one man, who was now in prison and would be for what remained of his life.
Both men at the kitchen table didn't believe that William Reid just being in prison was enough, which was why Dave had done what he had. All his dad had really done was tell the guards about what William Reid had done and asked them to let it be known if it wasn't already due to the media coverage of the trial, as he knew that the inmates of whatever prison the Senior Reid had been sent to would make that particular prisoner's life ever more miserable.
James had seen the news, but hadn't made the connection or he would've appeared on his dad's doorstep as soon as he had. He had thought it was a tragedy distantly, but at the time it hadn't really affected him otherwise.
"I know you're disappointed, I would be too if I didn't already know who he's in love with," Dave said.
"Do you think he'll ever say anything to her?" James asked plaintively.
"I would say it depends," Dave said finally seeming to be thinking of how to answer.
"On?" James asked curiously.
"On whether or not he ever gets up enough confidence to ask her out, as he's sure that she will never return his feelings. William Reid did quite a number on his self-confidence I'm afraid and was always disparaging him for one reason or another. That kind of thing tends to stay with any child and Spencer's eidetic memory only made things worse in his case. I don't know exactly what was said when Spencer was a child, as he never gave me any details probably on purpose, but I can guess very well," Dave said.
"So you think it's lack of self-confidence in his desirability or at least in this woman he's interested in returning his feelings."
"Yes, I'm afraid so, it's a very common issue when your parents are not exactly the kind that support you like they should. Spencer might very well have turned out differently if Diana Reid hadn't been so sick, as she would've helped boost her son's confidence while he was still a child instead of leaving him hanging in the wind. There are so many things that we get from our parents, not just our looks, but a lot of our habits and many other traits. That's not the whole issue of course, it's also environment, role models and so on," Dave said. "Spencer didn't have any of that and he was severely picked on because his father refused to send him to a special school for those that are more intelligent or at least hire tutors, which is something that Caroline and I would have done if he had grown up with us like he should have. I think, he turned out rather well considering."
"So what do you think was said?" James asked.
Dave knew very well what James was asking and so he replied, "I think he made disparaging comments about how Spencer would never get married, because he was too plain, to intelligent and how nobody would ever want somebody like him because he wasn't normal, well, you get the point. I wouldn't be surprised if William Reid deliberately broke down Spencer's self-confidence, by making nasty comments that were in no way true and probably exaggerating Spencer's faults and adding others on, ones that he, himself was guilty of. Spencer would've been fairly innocent back then, even living with such a man, so I can see my son believing everything he spewed, because almost anyone that age would believe their parental figure. Back then, Spencer wouldn't have known that there are other people just as intelligent in the world that get married and have families of their own. He was just a child after all."
"No matter how intelligent he still would've believed William Reid's words," James realized.
"Oh, Spencer is intelligent enough that he probably stopped believing his father before he left, but by then the damage would have been done," Dave agreed looking sad and furious at the same time. "I'm sure that Spencer thinks that he's to plain, too intelligent and a lot of other negative descriptive phrases about himself that are in no way true that are stopping him from asking out the woman he's in love with. I'm sure he believes that this woman will not return his interest, so he doesn't bother to try to ask her out, as he likely fears rejection above all. He doesn't see that she loves him too, because he's totally oblivious or thinks he's misreading the signals she's giving off, I'm not sure which."
"So this woman loves him too," James said even more intrigued.
"Yes, it might be nothing more than infatuation, but I don't believe so, as they've known each other for years, far longer then the two of us have," Dave said.
"Isn't there someway we can get them together?" James asked.
"I don't know," Dave said. "I'll have to think about it. If we do anything we're going to have to be very careful, because Spencer at least will object to us interfering."
"You don't think this lady will," James said.
"She might at first until I explain my reasoning, as she's also logical and intelligent," Dave said.
"If you know her that well, you and Spencer probably work with her, as you don't exactly have a lot of time to meet anyone, not even someone you're youngest son is in love with," James said shrewdly. "At least you shouldn't know her so well if you only met her a handful of times over the last few months."
Dave said nothing knowing his son was right, but refusing to respond as he'd given too much away as it was.
"Leave it alone, James," Dave said, in a tone that James just had to obey, as it was a tone he recognized from his childhood when his father was deadly serious. "I'll see what I can do to convince her to approach Spencer, but I won't do more than that. I'll let you know what happens either way."
"Alright, fine," James said dropping the subject.
Father and son chatted a little more drinking their wine and James helped clean up the kitchen before taking his leave.
~~~Criminal Minds~~~
Several months later JJ finally made her move. Dave had managed to have a private conversation with her and in that conversation he had told her that Spencer would never make a move on his own and if she was interested in his son like he believed she would have to make the first move.
JJ had asked day point blank why he was trying to matchmake and Dave had answered that he wanted to see his son happy. He had felt so, even before he had known that Spencer was his son, but didn't feel that he had the right to interfere.
JJ had understood his reasoning immediately, because before Dave had just been part of the team and like an honorary uncle to all of them, but now that he knew Spencer was his son he felt interfering was the only way to ensure his son's future happiness, hers to of course.
JJ was well aware that Spencer would never ask her out on his own and not because he didn't like her. She wasn't entirely sure what Spence's problem was, but suspected it had something to do with William Reid who everyone had thought was his father until very recently. Really, JJ was incredibly perceptive and observant, so suspected that the man they had believed was Spence's father had made uncalled for comments all throughout his childhood that had simply stuck with Spencer all his life, mostly due to his eidetic memory. Despite having a happy childhood JJ was not unaware that many children did not have such childhoods, as the team saw it a lot on a regular basis when they were on cases and it always made her sad.
Dave had left it up to her to approach Spencer. He had said he could do no more, because he didn't want to risk his budding relationship with his son who he had believed was dead for nearly 3 decades.
JJ had agreed knowing that if Spencer or Peter Daniel, since that was his original name, felt betrayed then his relationship with his father would go in the toilet, which was the last thing that JJ wanted to happen, since Spencer had been so much happier lately.
"So Spencer what about some dinner," JJ suggested at the end of the work day.
"I'll just get something on my way home," Spencer said, as he gathered up his belongings and dumped them into his messenger bag. Spencer didn't bother to look at her, as he gathered his things, mostly because he knew spending time with her was a bad idea as he was bound to reveal how he felt and he couldn't take her rejection no matter how kindly given as it would destroy him. When they were on cases he had something else to concentrate on, so being around JJ didn't bother him as much, except of course, at night.
"Come on, it's just dinner, Spence," JJ said. "How often do we have time for a nice, quiet meal without anybody else around? We don't hardly ever spend time together anymore outside of work, not like we used to."
JJ hated having to guilt Spencer into having dinner with her, but she knew he would dig in his heels if she did not. She knew that Spencer at least liked her, even if Dave believed that his son had very deep feelings for her. She didn't know if Dave was right or not, but the older profiler was good enough at his job that he probably was and it gave her hope. She and Spencer had used to be really close and spend a great deal of time together outside of work. Unfortunately, that had stopped a couple of years ago, mostly because they were so busy, but she suspected it was at least partially because Spencer was probably afraid of revealing his feelings for her and so avoided her whenever possible, without making it obvious that he was doing so.
He was likely afraid she wouldn't return his feelings and so had decided to never ask her out.
She suspected he feared rejection above all else, which was reasonable considering he had likely been rejected before this and not everyone was polite when rejecting someone they didn't like or at least had no feelings for. Both men and women could be very rude when rejecting someone that they didn't want to go out with, as a large percentage of them didn't bother to think about others feelings. For someone with Spencer's low self-confidence at least when it came to asking out a woman he liked a rude or nasty rejection would do considerable damage to what little he had. If Spencer had dated before JJ doubted very much that those relationships had lasted more than a few weeks. Most women wanted a man around more than Spencer would be due to his job and if that didn't wreck things Spencer's confidence issues, intelligence and habit of babbling about any subject would. So many women wanted a man that was intelligent but not a genius or anything or at least a man where it wasn't obvious he was one, one who was handy around the house and could fix a leak when necessary. Also, one that would be home at a regular time every day, as very few women wanted to put up with a man's job that took them away for days or even weeks at a time.
Of course, since men were the same way, she, Emily and also Penny had had trouble finding understanding partners. Humans as a species were largely selfish, shallow creatures and often wanted more then someone could provide, whether that was time or something else like gifts. There were a lot of exceptions to the general rule, but finding those exceptions was not easy.
She had dated plenty, but had never been successful in finding a man that would put up with her job and in fact, a lot of them seemed to expect her to be a stay-at-home mom while they were the breadwinner. JJ had very firmly shown them the door when they had started to be too demanding. Did she want a family? Of course, she did, but she wasn't going to settle down with just anyone, just to have children. She had realized only a couple of years ago that she had fallen in love with Spencer without realizing it and that she had been in love with him for several years at least which was at least partially why none of her other relationships had worked out. Of course, Spencer wasn't the main reason, but still, he was one of the causes.
Spencer immediately started to feel guilty, just as JJ knew he would, as she waited quietly for his response. It wasn't obvious that he was feeling guilty, but JJ knew Spencer too well to not see the signs. Neither JJ or Spencer were aware that Dave was watching the pair of them quietly from his office doorway observing, but not interfering in anyway.
Dave had wondered when JJ was going to make a move and it looked like now was the time. He realized though, that they had been extremely busy with work over the last several months and had barely had a moment to breathe in all that time, so it was probably wise that JJ hadn't made a move before now, as things had finally calmed down again.
He hoped things went well and Spencer didn't let his fears stop him from opening up his heart to JJ, because if anybody deserved happiness it was his son. If Spencer and JJ actually got married he would be very happy indeed to welcome JJ and any children they had into his family.
Dave wasn't sure if using guilt was the right route to take, but also knew that his son could be stubborn and it was likely the only way to get him to agree to going out to dinner. He knew that JJ and his son had been friends for several years before he had rejoined the team and that Spencer had stopped hanging around with JJ so much, probably afraid of revealing how he felt, if he spent too much time with her outside of work. It was quite possible actually, considering that JJ was just as much a profiler as the rest of them, even if you weren't supposed to profile your teammates.
"Alright," Spencer finally conceded. "I suppose I have time for dinner."
"Good, because we haven't been out to dinner together in a long time," JJ said wanting to cheer aloud, but restrained herself. "We used to do it regularly, as I know you remember."
"I know," Spencer answered trying to remain calm hoping that JJ didn't clue into how he felt, as that would be disastrous and he knew it or at least he thought he knew it.
Spencer only hoped that this didn't become a regular occurrence because he knew he couldn't conceal his feelings from one of his best friends forever. He was usually pretty good at concealing his emotions, a skill he had developed in childhood, but when it came to the woman he was in love with it was very hard to keep up his façade.
"We need to get back to that no matter how busy we are," JJ said.
"We'll see," was all Spencer allowed himself to say, although he was frantically thinking that it was a very bad idea for their quiet dinners or doing other activities together when possible to continue. He wasn't sure how he could stop it though, without being rude or revealing how he felt, so he would just have to bear it silently. Well, he was used to being in emotional pain, as he had been in quite a bit during his childhood, though he has certainly been happier lately. Still, it wasn't like it was weird for him to have feelings that caused him pain, so he was well used to dealing with them.
JJ knew that was the best answer she was going to get so she dropped the subject for now.
"So what do you want to go for dinner?" Spencer asked. "Casual will be best as we're not going to get in anywhere really fancy at this late date."
"Casual is just fine," JJ said smiling. "I'm not really a fancy restaurant kind of girl, except on very special occasions perhaps."
Spencer had known this and nodded. "So want to meet at our favorite place then?"
"That sounds just fine," JJ agreed immediately before Spencer could change his mind.
What JJ really wanted was for them to travel together in the same vehicle, but that would mean leaving one of their cars at work, which would clue the rest of the team into the fact that they had gone somewhere together. Not a good idea, or at least it wasn't until JJ had actually gotten Spencer to go out on a date with her, preferably several dates until he was sure enough of their relationship that he felt comfortable revealing it to the rest of the team, including his father who would already know.
The two of them finally finished gathering their things and walked towards the elevator together not quite touching.
Dave watched this from his office and smiled a little truly hoping that the relationship between his son and JJ worked out. He would just have to wait and see.
~~~Criminal Minds~~~