Have I told y'all how much I love you? Talk about a warm welcome back. You're amazing. All of you. Xo

*Fiddling was had. All mistakes are mine.

Songs:

"Gives You Hell," The All-American Rejects
"The Best Part of Me," Lee Brice

Chapter 25

Edward

Garrett's appearance at Bella's was an eye-opener for me. My first reaction was, of course, anger. What right did he think he had to show up and run his mouth about my fiancée? To refer to her as his wife and accuse me of stealing her and turning his kids against him? Garrett's inebriation notwithstanding, I was beyond pissed. Every one of my instincts screamed at me to forcefully shut his mouth and make him regret ever showing up at Bella's door. Not taking a swing at him was a test of my self-control.

I've spent a lot of time since that night thinking about it. Living the life I have, I've seen over and over again how a man's actions and choices can come back to bite him in the ass—sometimes professionally, but more often, personally. And when those realizations dawn, some of those men lash out and try to play the victim.

Regret is one hell of an emotion.

But as much as I'd like to cut all ties with Garrett, to take Bella and the boys far away and live our lives without him, I know I can't. He's still Jacob and Seth's father. We have a solid decade ahead with him in our lives, whether or not I tolerate the guy. And I owe it to those boys to try and forge some kind of peace with the jerk … no matter how much I'd rather knock him on his ass and never look back.

I'm also leaving my new family for a year in a few short months, and I won't be able to look myself in the mirror if I go to Balad knowing Bella has to deal with him after the way things were left.

That's how I find myself sitting at a bar with him on a Monday night, when I should be with my fiancée, helping her plan our wedding that's happening in a little more than a month.

I raise two fingers to the bartender and get a nod in response. The local watering hole where I've asked Garrett to meet me isn't busy, so it only takes a minute for two beers to be poured from the tap.

"Thanks," I say as our drinks are set on the bar in front of us.

"So, is this the part where you threaten my life if I step foot back on Bella's doorstep?" Garrett asks, reaching for his beer.

As I bring the pint glass to my lips, I pause. A smirk tugs at the corner of my mouth. "That remains to be seen."

Garrett places his glass on the bar and keeps his eyes on it. He's silent, pondering what he wants to say, I'm sure. Instead of prodding him, I lean forward on my forearms, resting my gaze on the TV over the bar, and wait for him to speak.

"I gotta say I was surprised to get your text," he finally says. A nervous chuckle escapes him when I don't reply. "Kinda freaked me out when you said you wanted to meet up to talk. But when you suggested this place and not a dark alley, I relaxed a little."

"As enticing as that thought is, I'm not that kind of guy."

"No, I guess not." He sighs and straightens his back, staring straight ahead. "Before you say whatever it is you need to say, I need to start with an apology. I was out of line. I know it's not an excuse, but I'd had too much to drink, and well, some shit set me off at home and I brought that to Bella's. I'm sorry for that."

I set my glass to the bar top and look over at him. "I appreciate that. It doesn't excuse any of it, but I appreciate you saying that." I wait for him to meet my eyes. "I can't say you driving under the influence isn't a concern. If the boys—"

He holds up a hand. "I know. Em already reamed me about it. It was poor judgment and a mistake I won't be making again."

"Good." There's more I could say, but judging by the look on his face, a lecture from me about the dangers of drinking and driving wouldn't be appreciated. Besides, I have a feeling Emmett did a thorough job.

"I've made a lot of mistakes," he continues. "And not just recently."

"We all—"

"Can you just …" He lets out a frustrated grunt. "Look, this will be easier if you let me get all this off my chest. Then we can talk about everything else, okay?"

"All right."

"I know I messed up … in a lot of ways. I don't know how much Bella's told you about our relationship."

"She's told me enough," I say cautiously.

He nods, like he expected as much. "I didn't appreciate Bella when I had her. I took her for granted in a lot of ways, and the longer we were together, the further apart we grew. And in the middle of all that, I found Katie. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my wife. She's my second chance to get it right. But there's a part of me—a small part—that still loves Bella. And I probably always will."

While I'm not at all surprised at his admission, it still makes my stomach twist.

"No," he's quick to say, likely noticing the expression on my face, "it's not like that. I'm not in love with her anymore. It's just … we have a history, you know? She's the mother of my kids. She's been part of my life for a long time, and it's hard to wrap my head around the fact that she's moving on from that. And I know how damn hypocritical that sounds. I'm the one who left. I'm the one who moved on first. But I think I took for granted she'd always be there. And now …" He sighs. "Now she's getting remarried, and the thought of everything changing sent me flying off the deep end the other night."

I press my lips together and consider how to respond. On one hand, I get it. I'd feel like a chump if I'd lived a life with Bella only to let her slip through my fingers. And the mere thought of meeting someone else—of thinking anyone else could take her place in my life—is unimaginable. But I can also understand the consequences of loving and then walking away from such a remarkable woman. I'd carry that grief with me until the day I died.

"So," he says, breaking me from my reverie, "I guess this is me with my tail between my legs, laying it all out there."

"I can see that. And I can respect that you'd do that—be up front with me." And because I can't help myself, I prod him just a little. "It can't be easy to admit to the fiancé you're still carrying a torch for your ex-wife."

He groans and shakes his head. "I'm really not, man. It might sound that way on the surface, but I'm not hung up on her. It's hard to put into words, but I—"

I hold up a hand. "My bad. I'm a little defensive where Bella's concerned."

"You don't need to explain yourself. I get it. But we were over a long time ago. I was the one who screwed up, and I'll carry the blame and my regrets for the rest of my life. I don't want you to think I'm waiting in the wings to swoop in the first time you have to fly off to wherever."

I pick up my glass by the rim and let it dangle from my fingertips, staring at the foamy liquid as I swirl it around. "I won't lie and say I'm not worried about what'll happen when I have to leave her." I turn to face him. "I need to trust you, Garrett. In more ways than one. Bella hasn't told you yet, but I report for duty in Iraq on June 1st."

He raises his brows, but doesn't say anything.

"So, you can see why I need to make sure things are settled here before I go," I continue. "The last thing I need is to be worrying about Bella having to deal with you while I'm gone."

He clears his throat. "Ouch. Deal with me, huh?"

"You know what I mean. I don't want to leave and have to worry that you're going to add any extra stress to what will already be stressful for her. She's … she has a partner again, someone to look out for her and for the boys, and I need to know, for my own peace of mind, that you two can work together for the kids before I go. Because like it or not, I love those kids. After Bella, they're my first priority."

He nods, slowly and thoughtfully. "How long will you be over there?"

"A year."

"And Bella's okay with that?"

I look down at the bar top and shake my head, chuckling, but there's no humor in it. "No, she's not, but marrying me means it's part of the deal."

I can feel his eyes on me, and while his stare is a little disconcerting, the longer he scrutinizes me, the more it feels like he's seeing me clearly for the first time.

"She really does love you, doesn't she?" he finally asks.

I turn my head to meet his gaze. "I'd like to think so. She did agree to be my wife."

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean she's really willing to live that kind of life? With you gone so much, off to fight a war in some other country?"

I shrug. "It's what I signed up for, and for some reason I still can't comprehend, she wants to sign up for it, too. I guess that makes me the lucky son of a bitch to come home to her." I swivel around in my seat to fully face him. "Look, Bella knows … I know it won't be easy. But this isn't my first rodeo, Garrett. I'm under no false pretenses that being apart, especially so soon after getting married, will be easy. Leaving her behind when I get on that plane will be the hardest thing I've done in a long time. And I know it'll be hard on her and the kids. But I can't say I'm not thankful every day that she's willing to walk that road with me, because God knows she's worth it. They're worth it."

My words hang between us, and as Garrett's attention falls back to his glass, I can see his resignation. He has no choice but to accept that I'm in this for the long haul. I'm going to be at Bella's side—even if from a distance—and be there for his sons for a very long time.

"They are," he finally says. His words are said so lowly that I can hardly hear them over the sound of the game playing on the TV over the bar. After a moment he looks up. "And I'm ashamed it took me this long to realize it."

"We understand each other then?" I ask, holding out a hand.

Without a moment of hesitation, he takes my hand in his and shakes it. "We do."

I hang my keys on the hook by the door and sit on the bench to unlace my boots. As I slip my foot from the second one, Bella finds me.

"Hey. I thought I heard you come in."

"Hey." I pucker my lips, and she complies with a kiss. "Mmm," I hum as she pulls away. "You and the boys made the cookie recipe Mom sent, didn't you?"

She grins. "How did you know?"

I rise to my feet and pull her into my arms. "Because you're a little sweeter than usual." And since I can't help myself, I peck her on the lips once more.

"So, where did you disappear to after dinner? You said you had an errand to run, but you've been gone a while."

I sigh, unsure how she'll take what I did. "I, uh, actually met Garrett for a drink."

"Garrett?" Taking a few steps back, she opens her mouth once, twice before repeating, "Garrett, as in my ex-husband, Garrett?"

"One and the same."

"But … why?"

"Because we had a few things we needed to work out."

"What the hell did you possibly have to work out with him?" She spreads her arms wide and raises her voice. "Didn't he do enough damage right here the other night? Are you asking for trouble, seeking him out like that? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that he and I needed to have a man-to-man talk so he knew where I stood. Where I expect him to stand."

"What are you talking about?"

I rub a hand over my face. "I told him about my orders, Bella."

She presses her lips together, and I can almost see the steam pouring out of her ears. "Again, why? He's my ex. It's my problem to deal with him. And what possessed you to tell him before we've even had a chance to talk to the kids?"

Before she can get any more worked up, I pull her back into my arms. "I wanted to make sure he understood what I needed from him before I leave."

"But—"

"But nothing. And he may be your ex, but you're going to be my wife. This is my life, too. Our life. Our kids. I don't like it, but he's their father. He's as vital to their happiness as we are, and I need to know he's going to do his part while I'm gone. I can't go up in the air and do what I have to do and be distracted by what may or may not be happening at home." I press a kiss to her forehead, murmuring my words against her skin. "You and the boys … you're my life now, Bella. I need to know you'll be okay while I'm gone."

Her sniffle makes me hold her tighter, and for a moment, we stand in her entryway, swaying back and forth. It's ripping me apart to know I'll be leaving her so soon and for so long. I've done it before; I've left friends and family behind, but this time I'll be leaving my family behind. As difficult as it'll be for me, it'll be a hundred times more difficult for her.

"You okay?" I whisper.

When she pulls back and looks up at me, tears linger on her lashes. "I have to be, right?"

"I'm going to do everything in my power to make this as easy as possible on you, Bella."

"But it won't be the same as having you here," she says softly, almost as if the words physically hurt her.

"I know, baby. I know."

We stand there a few minutes longer, holding each other, until, finally, she pulls away.

She exhales a cleansing breath and wipes her cheeks. "So, when are we telling the boys?"

"I'm ready when you are. I wanted to talk to Garrett first, and now that that conversation's out of the way …"

"Maybe tomorrow? At dinner? I'd say tonight, but they're already in bed. And with school in the morning, it's too late to start a heavy conversation like that."

I reach for her hand and bring it to my lips. "Then maybe we just go to bed and put this day behind us?"

"I like the sound of that."

Dinner the next evening is as lively as usual with the boys rambling about their day at school. Bella and I, though, can feel the tension of the impending conversation. She merely nods and hums as Seth and Jacob command the conversation.

When the last of the food is eaten, the boys stand and collect the dirty plates. Their M.O. is usually to clean up then retreat to their rooms for the evening, so I make sure they know to come back once they're finished in the kitchen.

"When you two are done cleaning up, come back to the table, okay? Your mom and I have some things we want to talk to you about."

They look at each other, back to me, and then over to Bella. Jake is the one to ask, "Are we in trouble?"

She gives them both a reassuring smile. "No, honey. It's nothing like that."

The boys gather the stack of plates and casserole dish and disappear into the kitchen.

"You ready for this?" I ask Bella.

The smile she has for me is more reserved. "As ready as I'm going to be. How about you?"

My stomach is in a knot in my throat, and I'm more nervous than when I asked for Charlie's blessing to ask Bella to marry me, but I reply with, "I'm ready." Pulling out the chair closest to me, I pat the seat. "Come sit by me. I think it'll be easier if I can hold onto you while I do this."

When Jake and Seth make it back to the table, apprehension is rolling off them in waves. The poor kids look like they're about to go before a firing squad.

I take a deep breath and blow it out. There's no time like the present, so I dive right in.

"Like your mom said, you're not in trouble, so relax. But there is something important we need to tell you."

"Are we moving?" Jake asks. "Is that what this is about?"

"No, honey," Bella replies. "Edward is going to move in here with us after the wedding."

Seth crosses his arms and narrows his eyes. "But his house has a pool. Why can't we move there?"

"Moving would mean you two would have to change schools, and we don't think that's the best idea right now."

"But we can when school's over, right? We can move into Edward's house and start the new school next year." He shrugs. "Easy."

I clear my throat. "That's part of what we need to talk about. When I move out and in here with you guys, I'll be putting my house up for rent."

Seth's eyes widen. "But why? You have a pool!"

Under the table, Bella places her hand in mine and squeezes. It's just the bolstering I need. "You boys know that my job takes me all over, right? That I've lived in different places and I've had to go to different countries?"

They both nod, but I keep my eyes on Jake. Of the two, he's the one whose reaction I'm more worried about. And it isn't long before he figures out where I'm going with this conversation.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" The accusatory tone in his voice stings, but it's what I expected.

"I am. I'm leaving about a month and a half after the wedding."

"So, you're still getting married?" Seth asks.

"Are we going with you?" Jake asks over him.

"Yes, your mom and I are still getting married. And no, they're sending me to Iraq, so you guys will stay here."

"You're leaving Mom?" Jake's biting question and narrowed eyes give me pause.

I steel myself with a deep breath, hoping he understands the why of what's happening. "I'm doing my job, Jake. I'm not leaving her … or you and your brother." My gaze bounces between the two boys. "Where I'm going isn't a place to take your family"—Bella's grip on my hand tightens—"so this time, you'll stay here. But when I get back and get new orders, it'll be different. We'll be together."

And while I don't tell them their father will have a say about what the four of us relocating will look like, in my mind, it's as good as done. I'll do whatever I have to do to keep us together.

They take several moments to process what I've told them, and as I expected, Seth is full of questions, but Jacob is silent as he stares down at the table.

"I'd love it if you sent me letters, Seth," I reply to yet another of his inquiries while keeping half an eye on his quiet brother. "I'll write to you as much as I can, too."

"Oh! Like pen pals!" He turns to his mother. "Can we make him cookies, Mom?"

She laughs. "We'll see. If not, I'm sure there are other things we could send him."

"Jake," I call over to him. "Do you have any questions?"

He glances up at me, and the expression on his face nearly breaks my heart. "Maybe a few."

"I'm all ears, bud."

"How long will you be gone?"

"A while. A year or so. But I'll get to come home for a visit about halfway through, so it won't be too bad."

Bella's grasp on my hand tightens.

"Will we be able to call you?" he asks.

"If there's an emergency here, your mom will be able to make some calls to get in touch with me, but you won't be able to call me directly. I'll be able to call you once a week, though. And we'll set it up so you know when to expect those calls. You can write and email me as much as you want, too." I bring Bella's hand to my lips and kiss her knuckles before getting out of my chair and walking around the table to crouch between the boys. "I know this is going to be hard … on all of us. You have no idea how much I hate that I have to leave you already." I look over at Bella then back to them. "Your mom, too. We're just figuring out this new family thing and I have to go away, and I hate it."

"I don't like it either," Jake mumbles.

"I know. And I know you didn't ask for any of this, but it's part of being an Air Force family. There were lots of times when my dad had to leave my mom and me, but Dad always made sure I knew he wanted us with him, even when that wasn't a possibility. It was my job to stay at home and do well in school and be there for my mom … whatever I could do to make him proud. And I have no doubt you two will be here for your mom and for each other and make me just as proud."

"I'll make you so proud," Seth says before lunging at me with open arms and shining eyes.

I can feel his struggle to keep his emotions in check as I hold his little body against mine. The slight tremble in his arms and his sniffling have me choking up. But when Jacob slides his arms around my neck and joins in the group hug, I can't fight the knot in my throat or the stinging in my eyes any longer, and a tear or two escape down my cheek.

"You guys mean so much to me, and I hate that I have to leave you. But you're gonna be just fine." I meet Bella's watery smile over Jake's shoulder. "And your mom is going to need you so much, so I'm counting on you to help her, too, okay?"

Jake is the one to pull back first. He straightens his back and quickly wipes his nose before meeting my eyes. "You can count on me, Edward."

Walking past the boys' bedroom, I watch as Bella tells each of them goodnight, tucking them into their beds and placing a kiss on their foreheads.

"Sleep well, boys," she says as she switches off the light and steps into the hallway.

"You okay?" I ask as she walks right into my open arms.

She sighs. "I'm not sure yet."

"Come on," I urge, squeezing her once more before leading her toward her room. "Let's get you to bed."

After we've both gone through our nighttime routines, we crawl into bed and switch off the bedside lamp. Instantly, we gravitate toward each other.

"Thank you," she says against my chest.

"For what?"

"For being so good with them tonight. You didn't try to keep anything from them. You didn't try to sugarcoat what was happening. And I think you reassured them at the same time." She lifts her head from my chest, and even in the faint light shining through the window, I can see her beautiful eyes on me. "Thank you for that."

I push her hair behind her ear and place a soft kiss on her lips. "You're welcome, but you don't need to thank me. I meant it when I said they're my family, Bella. They mean just as much to me as you do."

Her gaze doesn't leave mine, and for a long while, we just lie there, silently.

"I feel like I won the lottery with you, you know?"

I breathe a laugh. "Is that right?" Slowly, I roll us until I'm hovering over her, my palm cradling her baby-soft cheek. "Then I must have three winning tickets, because I hit the jackpot with all three of you."

"I love you, Edward," she whispers, her voice breaking. "I don't know how I'm going to survive a whole year without you."

A dozen empty reassurances flit through my mind—a list of things I could tell her to set her mind at ease—that the time will fly, that we'll be able to talk and write all the time, or that in the grand scheme of things, a year is nothing and we have our whole lives ahead of us. But the reality is the thought of not holding her every night, not being able to kiss her and make love to her and see her smiling face every damn day tears me up inside.

So, instead, I whisper back the only words that feel fitting right now.

"I love you, too."

A/N: When I was deciding whether or not I was going to update after so long when emails weren't going out, I really worried most people wouldn't see it had updated. But the response to the last chapter and this story's return has absolutely blown me away. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Xo

So, have our feelings for Garrett changed any? Or do you still think he's a weasel? And poor Jake and Seth. :( I just want to give them both a hug. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter.

I had a guest reviewer last week who seemed to think Edward feels that his job is more important than his new family. He doesn't. I'd like to gently remind readers that being a USAF pilot means going where you're assigned. You don't have the option to say no. And it isn't exactly the kind of job you can give two-weeks' notice and move on to something less demanding. The men and women who serve our country are committed to serving. Full stop. He's made a commitment and he will see it through. Surely, we don't think the people who choose to serve their country are less deserving of a full and happy family life, do we? I didn't think so. And in this case, our Bella knew what she was signing up for when she said she'd marry him. She's going into this with her eyes open. As far as Edward thinking highly of himself, I'm not sure I want pilots up in the skies who aren't 100% confident in their abilities. And after all, doesn't the summary mention a cocky flyboy? ;)

FFN still isn't sending out emails, so to hear from you by way of a review so I know people are reading would be fantastic.

I'm currently packing my bags to leave tomorrow for TFMU 2024 in Charlotte, NC! I hope to see some of you there!

Remember, the final chapters have been written and are in the process of being edited. Pending those edits and FFN not having any more technical issues, this story will continue to update weekly on Tuesdays until complete.

Remember, the best way to stay up to date with what I'm up to, join in the discussion, and to see exclusive teaser pics, check out my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics. I'd love if you all could join us.

I will "see" you soon!

Be kind.
Stay safe.
Stay well.

Lots of love
~Sunshine