Chapter 42- Arizona

Jackson and April's wedding was the first real date Callie and I have been on, and I don't really count that as a date. I feel like I should really take her out, but I don't know where, or to do what. All I've really ever done is hang out around here, there's a lot to do, a lot I enjoy doing, but I suppose that has to do with the fact that this is all I've known. Mom and dad wouldn't take me into town when there was work to be done here, so Alex would find a ride out here. A couple times he rode his bike, one time, he walked. He had gotten into a fight with his parents, so he took off, and walked the 15 miles from where his parents lived to our house. Today is a workday, Dad, Callie and Lucia are working in the kennels. We have a bunch of dogs coming in later today, so everything needs to be perfect, in dad's eyes. Alex and I are outback fixing a fence that had fallen down in a storm that hit while we were gone. We had to wait for the parts to come in, I was just about to pound down the new fence pole when I hear a voice that sounded like my soon to be wife, but was actually her sister. I thought she'd be helping them clean the kennel but I guess I was wrong. I watch as she walks up to Alex, and gives him a kiss. I smile, seeing Alex happy, makes me happy. I see her hand him two cans, another kiss and she's gone. And I can't help but watch as he watches her walk away. "hate to see her go but love to watch her leave" I hear him say as I walk up to him. I reach for one of the cans, shaking my head. Then I hear Alex let out a sigh, when I turn to look at him he gives me this sad confused look. "what?"

"um, she wants to um" he clears his throat and stops talking.

"she wants to what? Get married? Have babies? Move in?" I kept going

"she wants to have sex" he says then turns his head.

"you haven't had sex yet?" I ask surprised, Callie and I have been going at it like bunnies since she showed up that night.

"no" he shakes his head, when our eyes meet, I tilt my head and ask "why?"

"I, I don't know, I mean look at her she's super-hot, and I want to but"

"but"

"I've never done it before" he says quietly, almost too quietly

"what?" I laugh "what about with Izzy?"

"no" he shakes his head

"well dude, no wonder she left you" I laugh

"shut up this is serious" he says, opening the can and taking a drink, I look at him "why haven't you?"

"I'm" he starts to say then lets out a deep sigh "I'm scared, once she sees what I look like below the belt she'll run"

"Alex, she knows" I start to say and stop to find the right words "she knows that you're trans and what you lack below the belt, are you afraid of not being able to please her" I see him nod, then look at the ground "I don't even know how to go about being with someone" he looks up and our eyes meet "how do you and Callie do it?"

"a lot of fingers and tongue" I hear him laugh "well" I shrug "I really don't know how to explain it" he shakes his head "do you pleasure yourself?" I feel like I should already know the answer to this but I wait "well yeah, sometimes"

"well do what you like, I have found that most woman like the same, Aria might be a little different since she's been with a lot of men"

"not a lot" he says "and a few women"

"she has?" I ask and laugh when I see him nod "then what the fuck are you afraid of?"

"I just don't want to disappoint her" he shrugs and looks down at the ground

"you're falling for her aren't you?" I ask my voice quiet, when he looks up and our eyes meet he nods, and I smile "those Torres girls are something aren't they"

"they sure are" he sighs and finishes his drink "come on, let's get this fence up, we gotta get started on the barn, if it's gonna be ready in time for your wedding" I nod and reach for the hammer I had dropped.