Chapter 3 - The Nightmares I Had
Tech isn't sleeping yet when Emerie comes back into their room some minutes after she left initially, and he jerks upright at the unexpectedness, instantly anticipating an attack. He's still sore from his injuries even if it's getting better so he wouldn't be in a good state to fight back but he'd do it if he had too. It is just his sister, though.
"Problem?" he asks, on full alert. She's holding something brown, too blurred to make out.
"Minorly," Emerie replies with a sigh, "There was a surprise inspection scheduled in Omega's room today."
His heart drops. "Ah." His gaze zeroes in on the small object she's holding. Tech is not fully certain what it is.
"The search team found this," Emerie continues, "I was uncertain what to do with it, though I had to take it."
"Did you?" It was a given that Omega was breaking the rules, and Tech is instantly concerned. He is fully aware Emerie would never harm their sister, but he cannot say the same about anyone else in the facility.
She sighs. "It was for her own good."
"And who determines that? She can choose the life she wants."
Emerie looks at the object in her hand – it looks like a doll – and sighs. "Not here. We are a part of something more. We cannot make those choices here."
"She is a child," Tech argues, flickers of familiar, ceaseless rage rising. "Omega is the one who determines what she wants." He has been on Tantiss for months now. He lost track of the time, but he can estimate. He may have been forced to adjust to how it is here but that does not mean he can ever truly grow used to it.
"I do not want to take it from her," Emerie admits with a sigh. "She is a child, and we cannot expect her to fully understand. I want her to have a normal life, but that is not something I can offer. The search team was there when it was discovered. I had no option but to take it. I... will return it tonight."
Emerie has changed a lot over the months here. Some of her coldness has worn off, and as he anticipated, she is slowly growing increasingly comfortable and open with him. But, in the end, no matter how much she has changed, she is still loyal to Hemlock and the Empire. And it still upsets him that it has not changed yet.
"Omega deserves a normal life," Tech says, "That is not something she can have as long as she is here." And that is his primary mission, as it has always been. There is little chance for his own escape, even if he is as close to being healed as he will be from Eriadu. Protecting Omega and ensuring she escapes is the priority.
"I know." Emerie sets the doll on the edge of their bed and leaves, the door closing behind her.
Tech reaches for the doll once she's gone, picking it up. He might not be able to see it, but he can still feel the shape of it. The morning light on it makes it more visible as well, and he can see the outlines of his face. She modeled it off Lula. The first item of her own she ever truly had.
Crosshair had made Wrecker's tooka doll for him many years ago. Of course, the one item Omega was able to keep is one of her connection with them. It has been so long since she was free.
**w**
When Emerie returns again for the completion of her shift, something is visibly upsetting her, and after what happened with Omega the previous night, it sets him on instant alert. "Is something amiss?" Tech inquires.
"Omega released one of our hounds into the wild," Emerie replies, "She was scheduled for termination after sustaining an injury. The doctor was... not pleased."
"Of course, she did," Tech replies. Naturally, that is something Omega would do – she has done things like that frequently when they were on missions together. He could never fully understand her desire to help everyone who could use it, but it is who she was.
But he is concerned as to what consequences she may have for what she did. "Is she well?"
"The doctor told me to restrict her access," Emerie answers, "But she is otherwise fine." She looks away, and Tech watches her, fully aware there is something else she is not saying. "He threatened to harm Crosshair if her disobedience continues."
Naturally, he would use the same tactic on her that he did on Tech.
Omega will not risk Crosshair. Of that, he is fully aware, though he is still concerned. The knowledge that Crosshair is on the line as well does not relieve any of his concern. He could easily be hurt some time, even seriously, and there is nothing Tech can do to stop it from happening. Aside from finding a way out soon.
"Omega will not risk anything if Crosshair is on the line," Tech tells her, mostly to gauge a reaction.
"Attachments like yours can be exploited," Emerie asserts, "But I – I grew up alone. It has been different since you and Omega came. I do not want her to be alone like I was."
Tech did not have what people define as a normal childhood, either, but he had his brothers. He did not grow up alone as Emerie did. "She will survive," Tech finally promises, "Though I cannot say in what condition." It will only be a matter of time before the life here destroys her, with her constant need to help everyone she sees being constantly and repeatedly suppressed. In time, it will begin to wear on her, and Tech is perfectly aware of the danger his sister is in.
His only hope is that everything he and his brothers have taught her will be enough to pay off. With Omega, it is a guarantee that her escape attempt is already in the work, and Tech knows she understands her first attempt will have to be a successful one. She will not be able to leave without Crosshair, which is likely what is slowing her down.
"Hemlock will not harm her personally," Emerie says, though he cannot say which of them she is trying to reassure more. She is concerned for Omega in her own way. It is also a reminder that Tech does not know why the Empire wanted Omega on Tantiss to begin with. Some type of experiment they need her in good condition for, but he does not know.
"What purpose did the Empire have for her?" Tech inquires.
"She said she was needed for Nala Se's cooperation," Emerie explains, "She had not been willing to help after Kamino's destruction."
Not as though that is surprising – Tech can certainly say the same. He has no desire to aid the Empire in any fashion whatsoever, though dragging out the research that he is collecting is becoming increasingly difficult. There will be only so much longer he can continue this way. Though at least if Omega is being used as a bargaining chip, it grants her some measure of safety. Crosshair, however, is still at risk.
"I do not want her to have to change," Emerie confesses quietly, "I know this situation is difficult for her."
This is familiar. He has talked to Hunter and Echo hundreds of times about Omega's safety and wellbeing, be it physical or mental. Even Phee was concerned about her. Wrecker, too, a little bit, as time went on and he grew less playful with Crosshair's loss.
It is relieving and familiar to have this discussion with someone again, even if it is Emerie, and Tech has minimal trust for her. She will always do what she believes to be right, but Hemlock has isolated and brainwashed her until there is very little of her to remember who she is. Tech is fully aware there is a chance Omega may eventually reach the same point if something does not change.
"It is for more than her." Tech knows Emerie is fully aware he means both to himself and to her, though it is not a topic either of them ever verbally address. Not all things need to be discussed to understand, and he will not risk Crosshair either.
"She is struggling. I wish I knew how to help her."
"That may not be entirely under your control." Emerie is not the one who can help her.
"It's two halls down," Emerie murmurs, "Turn left. It is at the end of the hall."
She means Omega's room.
When Emerie takes his hand this time – she does not need to, but he is beginning to think her isolation has made her crave a connection with people as strongly as Tech now is himself – she lingers closer and longer than she has to.
**w**
The night cycle would be a more ideal time to make the trip to Omega's room, but he cannot go when she is there. Tech is perfectly aware of the consequences of such a misstep, and he will not allow Crosshair to be harmed again in the little he has control over.
Her room is empty and bare, the way his own was before he wrote on the walls.
The sink is dripping repetitively. He understands why that would be so frustrating to her.
There is a tally on her window.
Six by five. He can feel the light scratch marks on the wall. 151 days since Omega's capture. That was the same time as Tech's, and he still does not understand how it could have happened. It has been so long since then. He has never been apart from his brothers that long in the past – except Crosshair.
He obtained a few useful tools from the lab – the one thing he realized rapidly about Imperials is that they do not pay attention to one another. As long as there are a few guards present, he can go wherever he needs to, and no one will ask questions.
It requires a replacement part in order to fully fix the problem, which is not something he has access to, though with enough tinkering, he manages to slow it substantially.
Omega will know someone was here, and she may ask Emerie, but she is the one who gave Tech this information.
He could leave something here easily – something which only Omega will realize is him. He taught her their symbols and markings. It would not be something anyone but her could understand. He would like to relieve her of the grief he has no doubt she has been carrying since Eriadu.
But to do that would distract her from the priority of rescuing herself and Crosshair. If she knew that Tech was here, she would not want to leave without him, and it would entirely throw off whatever plan she must have in the works. He will not do that now, especially not when he doubts there is any way all three of them could ever escape the facility together. It is hard to be responsible for her pain, but she will survive, and once Crosshair is safely away, Tech will not have any reason to hold back.
Tech has been watching the guard rotations. He knows how to reach the hangar, and with the layout in his memory, finding a way to return to it will be easy. He knows which alarms to be careful about activating now too so he will not make the same mistake he made last time. The only question now is finding the right opportunity for an escape.
Leaving is hard, but it is better she continues to believe him dead until he finds a way back. Emerie trusted him with this information, because she knew he would make the right choice with it, and he is fully intent on keeping that trust.
**w**
The levels of security are abnormally high when Tech is being taken back to his room the next morning after his night shift is over. He does not have to see anyone to feel the tension that appears to be hanging in the air.
"Is something transpiring?" he inquires. Something must be but he cannot imagine what. If it was an escape attempt, he should have heard a mention already.
"A high-ranking visitor is arriving later today," Emerie replies. If she knows who it is, she does not elaborate. Not that it is likely too important.
He did not think much of it after that, going to bed the same way he always has. So, he was not expecting Emerie to stumble into their room that night, what he's certain is later than normal, looking thoroughly exhausted. That is not... something he has ever seen on her before.
"Did this meeting... fail?" He has to ask because his first thought is that there is some connection even if that does not seem to make sense.
"Crosshair and Omega escaped."
...What?
Now? Today?
"They made it?" Tech demands. He knows it is true but hearing it now with no warning is so unexpected. But they made it and that will mean his brothers will be coming. They will find Tantiss. But most of all, Crosshair can no longer be hurt here, and he and Omega will finally be able to make it back home.
He does not know why it did not occur to him until right now that... the fact that no one is aware he's alive means that no one is coming back for him. Rex and Echo will likely come to rescue the rest of the regs if they are able, but no one is coming back for Tech, because they believe he is gone. He is... here on his own.
"The ship was nearly shot down," Emerie replies. She still sounds shaken. "But... they were able to make the jump into hyperspace."
Likely with a very damaged ship but at least they are away. Finally. "Of course, they were," he says – because he doubts either of them would have made the mistake of attemptingto escape unless they had a high guarantee of making it.
His escape attempt would have gone better too if he had as much access to the facility as Omega.
Emerie breathes out heavily. "I thought – they weren't going to make it. I believed the doctor would still want Omega back alive, but he was going to have the ship shot down into the jungle with both of them onboard. He sent the hounds after them. I am uncertain if either of them were injured prior to their escape." She is upset and it is the first time he has heard her outright state is about something Hemlock did. "I understand why you have said... what you have about the doctor. I tried to stop it, but... he only deferred his order to have them shot down when I found data indicating the true reason for Omega's importance."
He should not be surprised that she is finally seeing what he has said all this time.
But it is unexpected to hear that Crosshair and Omega are only alive now because of Emerie. She tried to help them and that means something.
"Importance?" Tech inquires, because the most he can do is understand what research it is that makes Omega important to the Empire. He needs to know how much danger she is in.
"Her blood is the key to the answers we have been seeking. That is why Nala Se kept her so close." Emerie sounds slightly bitter about it, though to Tech, it makes perfect sense – of course, there is a reason she kept Omega with her. She would not have decided to give her a life different than those of her brothers without reason.
Crosshair is gone. If Tech intends to leave, now is the time, though he will still need to be cautious.
They will find their way back to Hunter and Wrecker, and it will not be long before Echo and Rex return here. Perhaps it would be best if he were to remain here until they arrive. A second escape would tighten security and make an attack more difficult, assuming there is anything left of the shuttle after they crash. Echo would not wait long to come. If his squad knows he's here, they will come, and after all they have been through, Tech does not want to ask that of them.
It may be best for him to wait, at least a short time.
**w**
With Omega gone and Nala Se imprisoned, work in the labs has been thrown into chaos. Everyone's shifts are being altered to try covering for the work Nala Se was doing and that means Emerie and Tech's hours are being adjusted.
She misses Omega already. She was here for months and now she's gone, and Emerie doesn't know if she's alright out there. She has no way to know what happened to her. It feels unreasonably quiet suddenly. It's so much lonelier. At least Tech is still here. It shouldn't matter to her so much, but it does.
Hemlock has always told her that emotion has no place in science. But she can't forget how he nearly had Omega – and Crosshair – killed and... she can't stop remembering that. He hadn't even heard out what she was going to say or – or anything. He did things for her that Nala Se never did but she can't forget the other things he's done either.
The extra hours of lab work she suddenly has to deal with is keeping her a little distracted, but not much.
She didn't quite expect to return to her room at the end of her shift to realize that it's lining up with when Tech also needs the room. That's a little detail Hemlock obviously overlooked, because she has no doubt that he would never approve. She also has no idea how this is supposed to work.
Emerie hovers awkwardly in the doorway.
Tech sits up the moment she enters, the way he always does.
"Do you want to be transferred to Omega's room or elsewhere?" she inquires. What are they supposed to do now?
"For what reason?" Tech asks.
"...There is only one bed."
"There is sufficient room for us both," he replies as though there is absolutely nothing strange about that at all. He shifts over a little, as if to make his point.
She stares at him. "You mean... we share?" She cannot imagine that. She's never been that physically close with anyone before.
"My squad shared frequently."
It makes her wonder what it would have been like to grow up with siblings. The way Tech talked about his brothers is always what she imagined it would be like wants that.
But... but...
"I never have shared quarters with... anyone. I was always alone, until you and Omega were brought here. I never knew any of my brothers before," Emerie responds, not that he didn't already know that, "I was never meant to be anything more than an experiment, until Hemlock found me. He is the one who made me more than that. He gave me a name. Most of what I know, I learned from him. To Nala Se, I was... nothing." But that doesn't change that she's seen the kinds of things Hemlock does and she can't ignore it. Not anymore.
Not after Omega and Crosshair.
"Have you considered he may be doing it only for his own purposes?" Tech asks. It's blunt the way he always talks but it's not as sharp as once used to.
She knows the answer way inside even if hurts to think about. She doesn't want to think about it. "I have," Emerie confesses, "I was going to offer him an alternative solution to – having Omega killed, but he did not even hear me out." He'd just snapped at her, told her to leave. She can't stop remembering that either.
"He is a psychopath," Tech replies, "He does not feel emotions the way most do. Not even the way we do."
Emerie can't deny that's true. Doesn't want to think about how everything she thought he was doing for her was just for – for his work. For nothing more than that. Because she's just a tool to him as much as any of her other brothers are.
She can't forget the times he was nice to her either, though.
It's confusing and she doesn't know what to do. Emerie has always had someone there to give her orders. She feels so lost without it.
"But that is not his fault," she says finally, "He did not choose to become that way. Not any more than we did."
"Our minds process moments and feelings differently than our brothers," Tech agrees, "But that does not mean we use it to hurt others, or for our own gain."
That is true, but she doesn't know how to accept everything she has seen here. Hemlock raised her, gave her a chance at a life when she used to be nothing, but that does not mean he is without faults. She would raise them, but Tech is right when he said if she out-serves her usefulness, she will not have a place here, either. It is... difficult to accept.
"Are you coming?" Tech asks her, scooting to the far end of the bed to give her space.
Right.
Back to that. She doesn't quite know what to do about it. She's never been that personally close to anyone before. Nala Se only ever touched her for experiments and Hemlock never really has. She's held her brothers' hands before, but that's as far as it's ever gone.
She can't really stay up all night, though. Emerie goes to join him, awkwardly lying down on the bed next to him. Tech is up against the wall, which gives her enough room to not be concerned about falling, but lying right beside someone is not something Emerie has ever done before. She is not fully certain how this is supposed to work, though likely, she is overthinking it.
Tech appears more relaxed than she's seen him in a long time. She just has no idea how she's going to sleep like this. It's weird.
But there is nothing technically wrong with it, so she has no reason to hesitate. She is perfectly aware Tech will not harm her. He would gain nothing from doing so, and Emerie knows he would not want to, either.
Tech's hand rests over hers between them. They're facing each other, and that is probably primarily what makes this uncomfortable. Emerie opts to refrain from inquiring in detail of how his brothers would do this, because she is not them. Their relationship cannot be built off the remains of his and his brothers'.
The contact is actually oddly relaxing, and Emerie shifts a little closer to him, mostly so she doesn't turn over and fall in her sleep. Somehow if it makes her feel less... alone.
For as awkward and uncertain as she is about it, Emerie thinks it's the best sleep she's ever had.
**w**
Having different shifts means Tech is up a bit in the daytime now. He almost forgot what it was like even if he cannot really see outside. At least he can see the sunlight. It makes him think again about when he will finally get out of here.
He is getting far on his research, almost too far. He wants to take the information about converting the Zillo beast scales into armor with him. It would be helpful, and it would keep his brothers safe if he could find a way to use it himself. But first, he must ensure no one else can put the pieces of his work together without him.
He hasn't slept alongside one of his brothers in so long. It's not the same for Emerie because he never grew up with her, and she is not them, but it is still... something. She is their sister, and it is beginning to matter to him as much as it did with Omega. It was not her choice to be given over to Hemlock and raised by him, either, nor for believing the many inaccuracies he taught her. She was a child as well and it is natural for children to believe the word of their caretakers. That is what parents are for.
When Emerie comes to their room again that night, he can tell without having to see her that she's upset about something. She starts talking before he can ask about it. "When I became chief scientist, I was given access to... the vault."
"So you mentioned," Tech points out. She had said the previous day that she was given that position and she had seemed bothered about something, but it was classified, so she was unwilling to say more. He did not push either mostly because he was distracted with his research, but perhaps he should have.
"What the doctor is doing in there is not something I anticipated," she confesses, "They are experimenting on children. They are not allegedly here by force, but they... will not be allowed out even if they want to leave."
Of course, they won't be.
Tech is not really surprised by the news. It is unsurprising the clones are not Hemlock's only experimental subjects.
"One of them attempted escape," she goes on, "It did not end well. I... would like to help them, but there is nothing I can do. They have a home. That is where they belong. Not in here."
Tech is careful to control the hope that rises inside of him at her words. "They want to be out of here as much as all of us."
"I know."
It's been a couple of weeks now and no one has come. They must not have been able to get the coordinates – he is fully certain Crosshair and Omega escaped alive, though it is not impossible there were complications. Nothing else should have hindered them from coming for this long. He does not know what went wrong, but he cannot keep waiting. "Our escape is the only way to aid them," he points out, mostly to test and see if this is pushing too far.
Emerie shifts a little. "How would we escape? There is no way out."
We.
She said we.
That means it should be safe to tell her a little more. He has waited for this for a long time. Tech knew it would happen eventually, or at least he believed it would. All the clones have a certain loyalty to one another. It would only be a matter of time before Emerie remembered that as well.
"I have thought of a way," Tech tells her, "If you are truly willing to do this."
"How?" she asks.
"You are certain you intend to do this?"
She hesitates. "I – I don't know of any other way. Those children deserve to be home, and I am the only one who can help them."
It may still be a risk, but he does not believe that she would tell anyone about his intentions. "I know how to get to the hangar and to a ship."
"Isn't that what you tried last time?"
"Yes, but I will not make the same mistake a second time. With you present, it would be easier to walk in as though we belong. I am seldom wrong. The planning is ingenious."
"Uh," Emerie says, visibly uncertain even if he can't clearly see her face. "Okay." She sounds so much like Wrecker, it's jarring. "I... have another idea that might be slightly less risky."
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