15 months after the end of the campaign
Chapter 4: I'll Raise You My Wedding Ring
(part 1)
William hated weddings. He had always hated them, even when he used to rob them as a child; the takes were always weak, and the food was too well guarded to steal. He used to think that the very idea of marriage was anti-pirate, though as it increasingly looked like many of his crew mates would eventually get hitched, he softened on the idea. Ragnar had been married; it wasn't the concept, but more so the ceremony. He sat with his arms crossed, pouting and muttering curses. In front of him was his lover. A woman with green hair and pale skin. She looked bored as she juggled the knives in her hands up and down. It had been almost a year since the two of them had become intimate associates. It would be nearly one year exactly in a few hours. The third person at the table was a young teenager trying to balance a knife on her finger to pass the time. She was smiling, and every time she looked at him, she snickered a bit under her breath. The three of them sat in relative discomfort in a large kitchen, in a house that wasn't theirs, in a small kingdom in the South Blue. The minutes flew by quickly. William would not move until the lovely couple who owned the house came home. More specifically, until a certain MAD G returned from the park.
One week earlier:
"William! You have to come." said a voice to William through a Den Den Mushi. The snail had flowing pink hair and horns sticking out from the sides. "It's your brother's wedding!"
"First of all. It's great to hear from you, Pearl. You never call, and I'm starting to think you and the waterboy have forgotten about me. The crew may be disbanded, but I am still your captain, and I order you to keep me in the loop from-"
"Don't change the subject!" Pearl barked, "Our brothers are getting married. You have to come. Get on the nearest boat and sail to Tarako, or I'll eat you!"
William drew his head away from the receiver. Pearl was doing great work in kicking her addiction to eating people, though she occasionally would drop in that she would eat people in conversation.
"I don't think those comments are productive to your journey."
"Captain, please, you have to come."
"You hate Trevor," William responded flatly.
"Yes, and if I have to go to his stupid wedding to be there for my brother, so do you!"
"Don't go"
"I live here, William. Jasper invited me in person."
"Listen, Trevor and I have been getting along better in recent memory. I clean up some criminals, and he overlooks my bounty so that I can cash the rewards. It's a very lucrative relationship.
"Even more reason to–"
"I couldn't go even if I wanted to. He didn't invite me."
"Yes, I know. No pirates allowed. Cyril and I need to go in costumes."
"Why are they even getting married? They haven't even been together for a year!"
"Tell me about it. Trevor is so set on this date that he's unwilling to wait a few months for Lyssa to finish a ship for Duros to come."
"Ridiculous! We should boycott to protest his unreasonable behavior."
"Don't give me that. I have to go. It'll be one long night of mingling with marines and the nobles that used to kiss my dad's ass before I killed him."
"Sounds hard," he responded, "anyway have a great–"
"Please, William. You can bring Doxie and…" Pearl stopped and corrected herself, "Well, you can bring Doxie."
"Hah, you think convincing me is hard? Try talking to Doxie."
"I did," Pearl grumbled. She didn't stop laughing long enough for me to try to convince her."
"Good for her."
"She should meet Molly."
"Who?"
"Atom's sister."
"Ohhh right, her…How is she doing?"
"No need to lie, William, I had forgotten her name too," Pearl said, slightly ashamed. "Anyway, my brother adopted her, so she and Doxie will be cousins."
"Doxie isn't my real daughter. You know that right."
"Shut up, William, you of all people should know that family is what we make of the people–"
"Aha! Trevor isn't my real family, and I don't have to–"
"You're not going for Trevor! You're going for me! You are my family, which means we must suffer through this together!"
"Enjoy the wedding, Pearl. I'm going to find a pirate crew to rob or fight or something."
"Don't you dare–"
William hung up and kicked up his legs onto the table. He smiled. He was so happy that he wouldn't have to deal with this anytime soon.
The minutes passed as the three of them sat at the table. Hemlock finally broke and let out a small laugh. Her hands shot towards her mouth to stifle it, but it was too late. William slowly pivoted his head and stared at her. His eyes were intense and unmoving.
"What's so funny?" He asked calmly.
"Nothing," She said, smiling. Doxie didn't even attempt to hide her laughter.
"Don't give me that. What is it?"
"...You really didn't see this coming?"
William looked away, ashamed.
"When you saw a last-minute job request put in for Tarako, the day of your brother's wedding. You felt it was just a coincidence?" Hemlock continued. William still didn't answer.
"The rendezvous at Pearl's house also didn't set off any alarm bells?"
"How was I supposed to know Pearl's address? She told me like a year ago."
Doxie just laughed harder.
"I get it," Doxie said laughing, "eyes get worse, the mind gets slow, age really is a bitch"
William was so dejected he didn't even respond. The room was about to fall silent when they heard a door open. Their heads all whipped around as footsteps came closer.
"Cyril, is that you?" came the voice from another room, "I swear, you better hurry up and get to the castle before my brother has a heart–"
Pearl froze as she saw the characters in her kitchen. William had both legs kicked up on the table, leaning back on his chair with his eyes locked on her. Hemlock gave a polite smile and little wave at Pearl. Doxie jumped onto the table, walked across it, and jumped down to walk towards Pearl. She was still snickering and gave her a proud look. Pearl's eyes flew from one face to the other. She wore casual clothing, a t-shirt with a dragon design, and baggy blue jeans. She was barefoot, and she was holding a baby against her chest. Her horns remained prominent on her head despite gaining complete control of her dragon fruit. Her pink hair was tied in a high ponytail.
"William, I knew you wouldn't abandon me," she said with a giant smile, sweat beads falling down her face. William stared at her while his soulful eyes drilled into her soul. He pulled out a piece of folded paper from his vest pocket, unfolded it, and started reading it out loud.
"Urgent request. This matter is of utmost importance and urgency. Two capable operatives are required for a heist. Five hundred million Berri payout plus travel expenses."
"Wow," she said nervously, "isn't that something?"
"The rendezvous is at this address, Pearl. By any chance, do you live here?"
The baby started crying, and Pearl dropped any uneasiness and took care of her child. William grumbled as his speech was interrupted. Pearl put the baby over her shoulder and rubbed his back as she moved into the kitchen.
"Doxie, can you please get Levi's baby food from the fridge?"
Doxie moved over to the fridge and opened it to see several containers full of pastes of different colors. She picked up an orange one and tossed it to Pearl. She caught it without looking and grabbed a spoon. She sat the toddler in the high chair and opened the container. As she fed the child and he stopped crying, she suddenly remembered where she was and turned to look back at her guests. William stared at her.
"So, what brings you guys here?"
"Is this what we're doing? Ok, I guess this is what we're doing. I'm not going to say anything, why do you think we're here?" William responded. Pearl paused and smiled sheepishly.
"The wedding?" She said with a shrug.
"Not going to respect us at all, huh? Just keep going. I get it."
"Ok, fine. I put out the request, and there isn't a job."
"Oh no, there will be a job. At the end of the day, I'm leaving with something."
"Come on, William. Don't be like this. You can't humor me one time? After everything we've been through together?"
William looked towards the floor, arms still crossed and grumpy. Pearl noticed this and continued, "Listen, I don't think you have to acknowledge him as your brother, but I wanted someone else here for Jasper."
"And you thought I was the best for Jasper?"
"Well, who else?" She asked, "I don't know, but he doesn't have many friends from the kingdom. Those worthless pieces of shit nobles won't let him associate with common people, Trevor only invited his Marine superiors and subordinates, and most are only coming because they're scared of him! Jasper's got me and Cyril for his special day. That's too fucking depressing."
"Was I really the only person?"
"Duros is in space, Verona won't make it in time, Ragnar is god knows where-"
"And Gravy?"
"Trevor hired him to cater. He dropped off the order this morning, but Jasper never met him. That doesn't count. Unfortunately, his future brother-in-law and cousin to his adoptive daughter was the best I could do."
"He really has no one else?"
"Being abused for half your life and imprisoned for the other half doesn't lead to strong relationships."
"Present company excluded, of course."
"Naturally."
William unfolded his arms and stood up. He closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling in deep thought.
"Is Trevor aware of this development?"
"No," She said nervously, "and he won't because of your amazing powers of infiltration and stealth. You'll get a disguise like me and Cyril, we'll tell Jasper and no one else."
"Ughh, fine," He said finally, "the three of us will go."
Pearl stared at him for a second, perplexed. She looked at the table as if it suddenly struck her that Hemlock was also in her kitchen for some reason. She turned to look at her. Hemlock gave her a nice closed-eye smile and waived. Pearl smiled back awkwardly.
"Uh, why is Hemlock here?" Pearl said, "The job was for two master thieves. I assumed you would just bring Doxie."
"I asked her to come," Doxie said happily. Pearl stared at Doxie, confused. Doxie also looked back at her, equally as perplexed. She wasn't going to ask the logical follow-up question of 'why' because even for Pearl, that would be rude when Hemlock was right there.
"Well, the more, the merrier," Pearl said with an exasperated smile. "One more person for Trevor to recognize, but that's ok. We'll get you a disguise as well."
Hemlock smiled. Pearl motioned for Doxie to watch the child quickly while she ran into another room. A few seconds later, she returned with a box full of disguise props.
"William put something on." She said, "We can't risk someone recognizing you. I doubt Trevor will be in town since the wedding is tonight, but if word spreads fast, he'll definitely hunt you down."
"I'm not scared of him."
"I don't care. I don't want complications on Jasper's big day."
William grumbled but nodded as he walked towards the box. Doxie perked up and walked to the box as well.
"I know I wasn't here when you guys were, but I should be pretty well known after our high-profile adventures."
"Doxie, darling. Trust me when I tell you that your dear father has done everything in his power to stop that from happening." Hemlock chimed in.
Doxie's head whipped to the side and looked at William. He looked at the box, sweating, refusing to look at her. Betrayal was painted on her face.
"If you become well known, infiltration will become harder anyway." He half mumbled while glaring at Hemlock. She gave him a quick smile. Pearl, sensing this would become a thing, interjected.
"Well, whatever." She said, "Doxie, you and Hemlock, come with me to pick out some dresses for tonight. I'll leave Levi with the sitter on the way there. William, I hope that asking you to buy yourself a halfway decent suit won't be too much to ask."
William, who had crafted a new persona from a blonde wig, glasses, and a sizeable fake handlebar mustache, only nodded.
"Cyril will meet up with us before the wedding. He's helping Jasper with all the particulars."
"Smashing, dear girl," William said, adopting an accent none of them could identify but, if they had to guess, would belong to a cold Island country with rainy days. He departed in the direction of the town, with the girls following a few minutes later.
As he walked closer and closer to the city, he found that his frustration was becoming less pronounced. At the very least, he could make a night out of swiping watches and wallets with Doxie. He would see Hemlock in a dress and share a dance if the tempo was slow enough. William had no confidence that he could pull off any dancing, but he figured it could still be fun enough. At the very least, they would have some good food. William started whistling as he walked and put his hands in his pockets. He felt something in there, and he pulled it out. It was a piece of paper folded up. He undid it and read the contents inside.
-Dear William
You and Hemlock have been together for a year. I don't know the exact day, but I do know you forgot. Hemlock has no idea, which is why I told her to come. So make up for your failure and get her something nice. She's just about to level up the poison for my blades. If you mess this up for me, I'll never forgive you.
Sincerely
Doxie
William read the note once, then again and again and again. The handwriting was beautiful, and no doubt she had threatened Humphrey to do it. Fuck. He had forgotten. In truth, he wasn't even sure when their anniversary would be. After they had gotten together the first time, they had been awkwardly interacting when they saw each other and then having sex at night. This continued for a few weeks. Then, when they did a mission together, both got into a groove that remained after the mission was a success. Since then, they have been like they were before. Sure, he spent more time at the candle base than before. For being, at best, a subcontractor, he handled a large volume of the organization's income with his heists and jobs. He had learned a lot about Hemlock: What food she liked, her favorite snakes, how she twiddled her quill when she was frustrated, the type of clothes she wanted, her ambitions, what each of her smiles meant, her favorite alcohol-. William stopped walking. He was her boyfriend, but when did that happen?
The date Doxie was referring to was roughly when they slept together for the first time. When it first happened, William was so shocked about actually doing it with her that he accidentally revealed it to Scourge through casual conversation. Was that when he became her boyfriend? 'Was I just her boyfriend this whole time?' The thoughts lacerated his brain as he slowly moved forward. He would have been happy if he wasn't stuck on Hemlock. He was, obviously, her boyfriend. Now that he was thinking with a broader perspective, he reached the reasonable assumption that she also considered herself his girlfriend. The real question was if she thought this would be their anniversary. Was there a point where she felt he was worth being a serious partner? Doxie had to lie to Hemlock to get her here. He was there when she requested her to come along as muscle. William didn't give it much thought then, but he should have. Hemlock could think their actual anniversary was later when they started visiting each other's bed chambers more frequently, or maybe she did think it was now and was hiding her anger at him for forgetting. Perhaps she hadn't even remembered it herself. Very possible. William was almost 40% sure he wasn't being delusional and that there was a chance she didn't know. Whatever the case, he needed to go and buy her something. Immediately.
Doxie, Pearl, and Hemlock walked along the road. As they walked, Pearl sang a little song for Levi, who was sleeping against her back. She would mumble rap lyrics quietly between her singing so the baby wouldn't hear the cursing and then go back to normal for the chorus. Doxie and Hemlock walked slightly behind Pearl and casually debated the point when a knife got too heavy to justify the weight of having it on your belt.
The three of them reached a large house just outside the city. They entered via the North entrance; William had gone East, so they wouldn't be seen together.
"Ok, guys, wait here while I drop off Levi for the day."
Pearl walked towards the door. As she fell out of ear shot, Doxie approached Hemlock. She whispered loudly.
"Don't worry about William. I dropped him the hint. I know he'll have something good."
Hemlock stared blankly and raised an eyebrow. Doxie saw her confusion and turned to face her directly.
"I know he's dense, but I promise he won't disappoint."
"Doxie, honey. I know it's hard to believe, but William and I are already together, so you don't have to try to match us up."
"Hemlock, I'm being serious. What the fuck are you on about?"
"I'm afraid I don't know what you are referring to."
"Your anniversary," Doxie hissed at her. Hemlock stopped and thought for a moment. She started muttering.
"Wait, when did we? No, that can't be it, well, I guess if you count. I would, so technically, but does he?" She trailed off briefly before remembering that Doxie was looking at her.
"So…What about this?"
"You fucking forgot?!"
"I don't even know if this is our anniversary, though. We started being intimate around this time but I wouldn't say we were in a romantic relationship just yet."
"Then when was it?"
"I don't know, we didn't discuss it. It just sort of evolved into that."
"Wait," Doxie said, her movements getting animated as her frustrations boiled to the surface. You never discussed it. How do you know if you're in love?"
"We are. We've never had a sit-down and confessed, but I know enough about William to know he does see me that way. I know he knows I see him that way too."
"Never once said I love you?" Doxie repeated, downright mortified at what she was hearing.
"There wasn't a moment when one of us said it under the moon; it didn't start romantically. We do say it now, though. We didn't at first, then we did. I can't remember when. Wasn't a year ago today."
"You guys are unbelievable."
"Judge me if you want, but he definitely didn't remember either."
Doxie crouched down, covering her face with her hands. She groaned loudly.
"You're right, he didn't remember. Until today."
"What do you mean?"
"I slipped a note in his pocket, reminding him I may have written it with the idea that you had thought about it."
Hemlock paused and took a second to think. Her face showed no emotion as she gathered what was being said.
"That's why I brought you along, so you could go and dance and drink without people recognizing you or fucking something."
"That's so sweet," Hemlock said, absentmindedly.
"Fuck you. Try to do something nice for you people and you make it eternally more complicated. Shit, William found the right girl. It's a miracle the universe let you two colossal fuck ups meet."
"Doxie, be a dear and be quiet while I think." Hemlock said, "Did you say in the note that I was planning something?"
"No, I didn't mention you that much."
"Oh, well, then I got nothing to worry about. William's probably 50/50, whether I know or not. He won't be expecting much."
"Do you even love him!?"
"Very much. I better get a nice dress. Let's go, Pearl seems to be finished."
Doxie was dumbstruck. She stood there as Hemlock walked forward towards Pearl. She suddenly felt as though she had accomplished nothing that day, and it made her very depressed. She hung her head in shame and followed the two other women.
The first store William entered was full of little trinkets, items he felt would make a lovely gift. He scanned the shelves. Glass sculptures of frogs and lizards adorned the walls. He looked for a glass model of a snake, specifically an acid snake. He lifted a few of them. They were lighter than he thought they'd be. They only had five snake models. All of them were coiled up and sticking their tongues out. William didn't particularly like any of them. The owner of the shop walked up to him. She was a young girl, perhaps 22, with short brown hair and pale blue eyes.
"Anything I can help you with, sir?" She asked with a beaming smile.
"Smashing timing, miss. I say, do you know what one might acquire to give to a dashing older woman for an anniversary?"
She stared at him, entirely at a loss for words. William didn't care how he sounded. He had made up this accent, and he was going to use it until he was caught.
"Oh, um, how old is this woman?"
"She is in her mid-thirties, young miss, the memories of our shared youth. Absolutely incredible. She has the most stunning green hair and lovely figure, I don't know how–"
"How nice, sir," She said, trying to interrupt him before he went on for too long.
"Right then, any ideas?"
"Well, I would love one of our signature red roses."
"Phenomenal, absolutely phenomenal. However, I wager she wouldn't like such an item. Never much of a flower person, if you know what I mean."
She didn't.
"Well, sir, what about-"
"I'll stop you right there. I already looked through this rubbish and found nothing of any actual quality. I'll purchase that rose from you if you give me an honest recommendation."
The girl paused and nodded as she thought.
"Well, perhaps some perfumes?"
"Brilliant. Great service. They told me to trust you."
Before she could say anything, he pulled out a fistful of Berri and plopped it on the counter. He picked up the rose and walked out with a smile. They counted the money, exactly what the flower cost. She didn't remember giving him the price, which hadn't been listed. How odd.
William threw the glass flower into a passing garbage can as he walked. He reached into his bag and pulled out the five snakes he had seen inside. He held them to the light to see if they looked any better. He circled through all of them, but with much disappointment, he threw them on the floor, shattering them one by one. Barely worth stealing. As he walked, he made his way to a building with a pleasant aroma of flowers. The shop was quaint. It looked like someone had converted their house into a store. The sign read, 'Lindsay's perfumes.' He entered, and like before, he walked through the shop and smelled the perfume vials. The fragrances were powerful and jumped out at him from every direction. The scent of chemically produced sweetness assaulted his senses. He tried following his nose for anything he liked, but the closer he got, the worse it smelt. He ditched the smell and looked for anything that looked green. The few ones he did find smelt like pine. He had a feeling that Hemlock would like them, but it would be a shitty gift. Once again, a young girl approached him and asked if he needed help.
"Dear girl, If I may, could you give me a recommendation for a smashing older woman?"
"For your wife, sir?"
"Oh, how scandalous, not yet, love. I'm still in the thrill of courtship."
The young woman nodded and moved towards the counter.
"Well, sir, tell me something about your partner."
"Stunning, woman. Absolutely stunning, she is reserved but powerful. Dangerous yet caring, her voice fills you with such uneasiness, yet her words are so full of love."
"...right"
"Forgive me. I get so few opportunities to pontificate these days. I will say that she is quite peculiar and, in many ways, impossible to comprehend."
"May I have an idea of your budget?"
"Money? My dear, you misunderstand. If money were of any concern, I wouldn't have bothered walking into such a fine establishment as this one. I will not hear of money concerns; I simply will not tolerate them. I guarantee any price is not high enough to quantify my admiration for that dear woman."
William was enjoying himself. The accent was overtaking him, and he really missed the days when he could just do silly operations like this and not have to worry about the lives of his crew or surrogate daughter. The girl's eyes sparkled when she heard this, and made her way to the counter. She crouched down and started ruffling briefly before bringing up a tiny vial.
"This is a rare perfume called 'la noche de Cavendishia.' It's scarce, so rare that only a few vials of it exist in the world today."
William took the little pink container from her and inspected it. On the front was a little sketch of a flower with the word 'Queremal' on it, whatever that meant. He looked at the little paper on the side, one million Berri. Well, shit. That was a lot of money. William had that kind of money, but not for perfume. The girl stared at his face as he carefully pulled off the cap and smelled the liquid.
It was a powerful smell, captivating and hypnotic. It gave the illusion of a poison. It was perfect. William swiftly moved and knocked over a stack of little cards. The girl scrambled to pick them, and in the split second, she lowered her head, and William moved. He swiftly swiped vials of a much cheaper perfume with similar-sized containers. He took a handkerchief and emptied one of the cheap perfume bottles into it. Once it was completely absorbed in the handkerchief, he put it in his pocket. With tremendous speed and ability, he poured the contents of the expensive perfume into the now-empty cheap vial. He then opened the second cheap vial he had grabbed and refilled the expensive vial with that fragrance. It was close, and the girl almost saw him throw the empty cheap vial into his pocket. Still, she didn't. He returned the expensive vial and quickly paid for the cheaper vial he had refilled. The girl looked a little annoyed that he had boasted about money only to buy a pretty cheap perfume but took the money all the same and rolled her eyes as he walked out of the shop. William whistled happily as he bounced the perfume in his hands. He looked at it. The vial read Amor de Rosas on it. A text on the back read, "An aroma so wonderful, it masks the scent of evil men." William chuckled at this. He poured a tiny bit on his fingers and rubbed it on his neck.
The trio had quietly made their way to a high-end boutique. Pearl had been conversing casually with Doxie, who mostly gave one-word answers and sighed. Hemlock seemed composed, but she didn't talk either. The boutique was rather large. Expensive dresses lined the walls, and employees in suits and pant suits ran around talking to dozens of people simultaneously. The wedding announcement had been at the last minute, and most people who received invitations had less than a week to get their wedding gifts and dresses in order. Several high-end noblewomen and their daughters shouted orders at exhausted employees and tired salespeople. In the back, they had large changing rooms with tables and coaches. Mirrors were plastered everywhere.
Women aged 14 to 70 were trying to get people's attention to ask for different sizes or if they had something in a lighter color. As hectic as it was, there was a palpable silence when Pearl entered. Everyone turned to look at her. Doxie and Hemlock were snapped out of their moods to observe the scene before them. Pearl looked used to it. She stood at the entrance, her arms crossed, and she scowled as she scanned the room. Sweat dripped down the heads of the older noble ladies, and hands all over started trembling. The younger girls didn't seem to understand what was happening, but when they tried to speak, their mothers and aunts would smack them, so they'd shut up.
Mixed in with fear, there was anger. Not envy. Even now that she had a luxurious house and family, no one had ever been jealous of the little weapon Pearl. It was anger for making their island a pirate nation. A nation that had tense relations with the world government due to a violent coup led by Jasper and pirates. Pearl had turned her sword against the regime they liked and then went out and grew in infamy as a cannibal pirate; all the while, the papers wrote about the rebellious princess of Tarako. On the world stage, they were a laughingstock. The royal families of other nations sneered at them because of her. Still, they couldn't say anything. Not because she was a princess but because she was a dragon. An aggressive plea to have her leave the island when she first arrived was met with indifference from Jasper. An appeal to the Marines led to a campaign of estate burning by a horned girl that the knights turned a blind eye to. The next day, three of the nobles who had their houses burned were exposed for their role in the Tarako slave trade. Pearl personally ripped out their hearts like she had done with her father.
A sales associate ran up and shook her hand happily.
"Your Highness, Pearl, Thank you for gracing us with your-"
"Yeah, yeah, great, I'll take that private room back there. I would hate to disturb these ladies of high society."
She glanced at people in the shop. Some of them flinched, others scowled. A few even quickly picked up their things and left. Pearl motioned for Hemlock and Doxie to follow her. Hemlock crept, and Doxie, on the other hand, loved this. She stepped forward with loud stomps and gleefully made eye contact with anyone looking at her. When she saw someone her age, she'd get close and flick them in the forehead with a laugh. As the three of them closed the door, they heard a hushed commotion behind the door.
"What the fuck is wrong with them?" Doxie scoffed.
"Stupid bitches, mad I'm not their little living weapon that my bastard father bragged about." Pearl said, fuming, "bet they're also upset that Jasper is persecuting those who helped that asshole in slave trading."
"Serves those rich cunts right!" Doxie says, laughing.
"I bet we spoiled their mood, too. They were so happy that Jasper was marrying a vice admiral."
"Such a relationship would benefit them, with all your connections to the Devil's Luck pirates."
Doxie and Pearl whipped around to look at her. They had both forgotten she was here again. They heard a knock at the door, and suddenly, a small man with three dress bags in his arms barged in. He scurried over to the table and plopped down the dresses on it.
"Princess, I am so sorry, but we are too busy to assist you. If you wish other dresses, go to the front counter," he said before rushing out of the room to a chorus of angry voices demanding to hurry up and show it to them in a different size before the dragon kills them all.
"I never pictured you as the dress type, Pearl," Doxie said as she unzipped one of the dresses to see a light pink dress.
"Yeah, well, Jasper asked me to be there for him. I got to try, at least."
She grabbed the pink dress and went to the small changing area behind the mirrors to try it on. There was silence. Doxie stole occasional looks at Hemlock, who bounced her leg restlessly.
"Are you going to get him anything?" Doxie whispered.
"I'm thinking about it."
"He's buying something for you right now. I'm sorry I didn't remind you, but now that you know, get him something! You bitch!"
"I haven't seen anything worth stealing yet."
"Fuck stealing!" Doxie paused. She had never thought she'd say those words, "Just get him something."
"William would like it more if I stole it."
Doxie stopped and thought about it, which sounded like something that could be true. She turned to look at Hemlock, who seemed to be in deep thought.
Pearl walked out sheepishly. The dress was a shade of pink, slightly lighter than her hair. It went to her knees and had spaghetti straps on her shoulders. It was flattering. A belt around her waist had a flower at the end and showed off her slim figure. Doxie and Hemlock stared at her. She gave an awkward smile, put her hands behind her back, and kicked her feet.
"The skirt is so short, I don't think I could move very well in this, " she said and waited for someone to say something. Her eyes darted to Doxie, and pleaded with her to say something. Doxie scanned her with her eyes but stayed quiet. Pearl motioned for her to say something with her hands.
"What?" Doxie answered obliviously, "The dress. Oh, um, it's uh very, you?"
Hemlock snickered at the comment.
"Doxie, you're awful," Hemlock said, "Pearl, sweetie, you look adorable in that, but perhaps it's a bit too bright and cheeky."
Pearl exhaled through her nose, and smoke flew out. Hemlock smirked at this.
"Don't say that. It looks very nice, Pearl."
"You want to listen to Doxie about this?"
"Hey, fuck you!"
"You want something longer. Maybe after the reception, you can charm your water boy."
"Don't ignore me!"
"Show off your shoulders and be a bit bolder. You'll be wearing a disguise anyway."
"Hey! I'm talking to you!"
"What is with the two of you? You've been at each other's throats for a while." Pearl said, putting her hands on her hips.
"Pearl, perfect. Tell me, do you think it'd be normal for someone to do something nice for one's anniversary?" Doxie said. Pearl, clearly not expecting this to be the hang-up, looked confused.
"I guess. Cyril and I are going on a fun adventure for ours. You know, kill pirates and have fun." Pearl paused, "I know what you're going to say, and it was Cyril's idea. As long as they are horrible people, we can gut them without worries!"
Doxie grinned from ear to ear as an idea popped into her head.
"Why are you asking me that anyway?" She asked.
"What?" Doxie said as she started scribbling something in a little journal on her shirt. " Oh, just that Hemlock didn't remember her anniversary and doesn't seem too interested now either."
Pearl's eyes shot open as her head whipped over to Hemlock, who looked uneasy but gave a passive nod.
"Wait, what, anniversary? With whom?"
Both of them looked at her, then at each other, and then Hemlock looked at Pearl while Doxie returned to taking her notes.
"With William, naturally."
"What!?" she screamed, "You and the captain?! Wait, since when?"
"Be specific, Pearl. Do you mean since they were shagging or since they fucking fell in love or whatever the hell this bitch has been going on about?"
Hemlock glared at Doxie. She noticed and looked away, scribbling faster in her notebook. Pearl's mouth hung open. Hemlock could see her small fangs peeking out from under her upper lip. She started speaking, but only air escaped her mouth. Hemlock sighed dramatically.
"As much as I would love to have the stepmother talk with another one of William's surrogate little sisters or daughters or whatever again," she said, now standing and placing a hand on her shoulder, "just know that me and William are a thing now, and if you haven't put it together that's why this darling child talked me into coming."
"William's not my brother." Was all that she could manage.
"Whatever you tell yourself, sweetie."
"Doxie, is this true?"
They looked at where Doxie was sitting, only to find she had disappeared. Pearl looked concerned, but Hemlock waved her off and opened the door. She motioned for one of the exhausted employees.
"Bring a girl over to take my measurements, then bring me your best green dresses in those sizes."
"Miss, we are extremely busy at the–"
Hemlock, with lightning quickness, pulled out a knife and pressed it to the throat of the man. He yelped as he felt the cold steel below his jawline.
"I wasn't asking, darling. Hurry up."
The man nodded and rushed off.