Shin Seiki Evangelion is the creation and intellectual property of Anno Hideaki and GAINAX/Studio Khara.
Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.
La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.
5- Soryu Asuka Langley.
Measurements:
Bust: 76 cm.
Waist: 55 cm.
Hips: 81 cm.
Age:
14 years old.
Height:
149 cm.
Weight:
45 kg.
Eyes:
Blue.
Hair:
Red.
What's the Deal with Soryu Asuka Langley?
Feliz Jueves!
She is Neon Genesis Evangelion's token Tsundere, with a German accent to sound more badass, although famously the Locomotion dub made her sound like a Gestapo agent.
Actually, she is one fourth German, one fourth Japanese, one fourth American, one fourth Pointer ("There it is! There it is! There it is!"), one fourth Boxer, one fourth Setter (Irish Setter), one fourth Watch Dog, one fourth Spitz, one fourth Doberman Pincher. But, mostly, she's all Labrador Retriever!
Asuka is a pilot of NERV's Evangelion Unit 02, and as such she's designed as the Second Child. Which makes no sense as Shinji, the pilot of Unit 01, is the Third Child. But anime!
As a waifu, she's despised by many, since she's an arrogant person with an inferiority based superiority complex. I love her but it's easy making fun of her so that's what I do.
She's the most brutal pilot when it's Clobbering Time, and she has the best record of them killing Angels. At least if we aren't counting the Angels EVA 01 kills on its own without Shinji's input. Or those Shinji kills with Asuka's help. 'Killing Angels' just sounds wrong when you think about it, doesn't it?
Deadpool.
Asuka walked into the room with a wide smug smile. "Guess what!" she said loudly.
Shinji looked up from his book. "What is it, Asuka?"
"I passed by the bridge bunnies' dining room, and their door was open!"
"So?" Shinji said.
"They had a blackboard with our names on it, and do you know what? I was way above you two, topping the popularity contest! I never thought much of them, but they have good taste! They've chosen me as the best pilot!"
Rei kept on reading her own book. "That isn't a popularity contest," she said flatly. "It's their dead pool."
Asuka blinked. "Ah?"
"They are betting on which one of us is killed in the line of duty first..."
Asuka's eyes flashed red.
"I'm late since there's an inquiry at NERV," Misato said, taking her shoes off and leaving them by the door. "It seems that someone put a homemade bomb in the bathroom of the operators and now Hyuga's missing half of his Commander says he'll take care of the investigation himself..."
"Ah, that's good to know," Asuka growled while pushing something into her closet, then wiped her hands vigorously with a cloth. Shinji chose to just stay very quiet and very silent, listening to his usual depressing music.
Under your Skin.
"Asuka," Shinji said, "I've been thinking…"
"I wasn't aware you could. Life's full of surprises, I guess," the redhead deadpanned. "What is it?"
"The Angels have been attacking us one by one this whole time, right?" Shinji said. "Well, why don't they just attack all at once? What if they do that next time? Think about it, Asuka! What if they were just testing us? We struggle with a single Angel every time! If they sent seven or twelve at once they'd stomp us! Imagine that!"
Asuka stared wide eyed at him for a moment of pause, and then burst out laughing.
"Oh, Shinji! Always the same idiot! If they could do that, they'd have done it from the start! No need to test us! They must have some launching energy limits or something, they're just aliens after all! You take the Angels name too literally, moron! Besides, if they did, I'd beat them all on my own, so you don't have to be afraid for your puny ass!"
"Well, if you say so…"
"Idiot!" Asuka scoffed, turning her attention back to her cellphone.
Late that night, she was still in her bed, eyes fully open and fixed on the ceiling. Gulping to herself every once in a while.
In his futon, Shinji slept quietly, with a vaguely smug smile on his lips.
Negima vs. Evangelion!
"Kaji-sensei? He's not bad, but he can't compare to Takahata-sensei!" Asuna said.
"What?! Dumb girl, take that back! Kaji-sensei is the smoothest teacher in this school!" Asuka said.
"Pffft, can he fight using martial arts? Is he muscular, or a scrawny mess? Look at him! Takahata-sensei not only is more cultured, he's also fit as-"
"Scrawny? Do you need those mismatched eyes fixed, skank?!" Asuka shrieked. "Besides, Kaji-sensei doesn't need that kung fu bull, he's a trained-"
"Girls, what's with all that noise?" Shizuna asked, approaching them along a curious Misato. "We could hear you all the way from the cafeteria!"
"Minamoto-sensei, you're the woman I wanted to see!" Asuna said. "You dated Takahata-sensei for a while, tell this loudmouth jerk how cool and strong and intelligent he is!"
"Misato, you went steady with Kaji-sensei for what, years?" Asuka growled. "Tell Princess Dumbass here how much more macho and suave he is than Death Glasses!"
Minamoto sighed. "Girls, actually, you shouldn't fight for something like that..."
"Yeah," Misato gave a nod. "There's a reason why we left them, after all."
The teenagers blinked as one. "Ah?"
Laying naked in bed together, smoking pensively after union, Ryoji and Takamichi shivered.
"You just felt it too, huh?" Takahata asked.
"Yeah. This can't be good. Guess I'll go ask Ikari to give us some urgent overseas assignment right now..."
Elevator Action.
The elevator's doors opened, and Asuka winced. Rei and Chisame were standing in there.
Asuka still walked in, and the doors closed after her.
The elevator began going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
"Boy, this thing is slow," Chisame said awkwardly.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
The elevator kept on going down.
"The EVA won't move if you don't open your heart," Rei said quietly.
"You're saying it's my fault?!" Asuka roared.
"Yes," Rei replied.
"So I'm blocking myself?!" Asuka said. "
"Yes," Rei said.
"Do you think it's just like moving a big toy!?" Asuka said.
"If you think that, then you don't know," Rei said.
"Hah!" Asuka scoffed. "Now I know something's up, when Wonder Girl starts talking to me!"
"It could be worse," Chisame deadpanned, pointing up at Zazie, who was hanging upside down from a rail on the elevator's ceiling, juggling seven balls.
Asuka looked up for a moment, winced, then kept on ranting at Rei. "What's up? Are you happy I'm having trouble with my Eva now? Well, don't worry, because when the next Angel comes, our invincible Shinji will destroy it, and we little girls won't need to fight anymore, they only need that pathetic Shinji!"
Chisame began pressing the buttons by the door kind of desperately.
"I thought it was bad when Shinji was nice, but when an emotionless wind-up doll like you starts being sympathetic I'm doomed!" Asuka ranted.
"I am not a doll," Rei whispered.
"You are!" Asuka said. "You'd kill yourself if the Commander told you to, wouldn't y-"
Zazie dropped from the ceiling on Asuka's head, knocking her out and down.
She stopped juggling the balls just as the doors opened.
Very quietly, she and Rei shared a fist bump, then left.
Chisame looked at the unconscious Asuka, sighed, and activated her Pactio card.
Asuka ate dinner furiously while Negi and Chamo stared at her in disturbed uneasiness. Silently, they glared at Chisame, who shrugged in exasperation.
Satomi ate without a concern in the world. "By the way, Katsuragi-san just called, she wanted to know if you'd-"
"SHUT UP AND PASS THE SAUCE!" Asuka said.
Naughty Children.
"Well, it was just logical, wasn't it?" Shinji reasoned while Asuka frowned at the coal they had received. "Do you realize how many Angels we've killed this year?"
"Anta baka," she said.
En conclusion, aunque pilotee el EVA Cero Dos, yo la pongo en cuatro.