Have you ever experienced a lucid dream? Where you are very aware that you are dreaming but somehow or another, are unable to wake up from it?
I tried waking up, forcing myself to wake up, but nothing seems to be working. I can't even close my eyes to block out the images and the sounds I'm seeing and hearing because there's no use, all of this is taking place within my own mind.
What I am experiencing can only be best described as seeing snippets of what I assumed to be somebody else's memories, because I had never experienced or seen these scenes before and they are too lifelike, felt too real for it to be anything else but memories but these memories are not mine.
"Still cannot fall asleep, Bernard?"
I know that face. I had seen it on the picture pasted in the file Dr Lott had given me. That's Bernard Havel, the ghost-inclined Ability Holder who suffers from a severe case of insomnia thanks to the side effects of his ability.
Bernard's memories were not the only ones I was forced to observe. The memories were very scattered and randomised, and not all of them belonged to Bernard. Most of it were Emil's memories, which I presumed the reason for this was because he's the one who I had killed. There were memories belonging to other people that I had never seen before as well and it wasn't long before I realised that these people are all victims of Emil, people who he had killed to consume their abilities for his own.
"How are you able to see in the dark?"
"Hey, stop creeping up on me like that!"
"I… I feel weird. I don't know why, but I just feel like I know that somebody is there…"
"Stop… Stop…! STOP! I beg you, stop!"
I was forced to look through these memories. Some of them repeated themselves in an infinite loop, others only appeared once before disappearing entirely, but what I instinctively knew was that these memories are a part of me now and will not be disappearing forever. I don't know how I knew or why I felt this way, I just do.
I think I understand now, what Emil's last words meant, that he will always be there inside my mind. For us ghost-inclined Ability Holders, to devour somebody else's ability also meant inheriting their memories, knowledge, and emotions. A piece of them will always be embedded inside you. The ghosts of the past will quite literally live within you.
I finally understood what Emil meant by living within each other. This is our curse as ghost-inclined Ability Holders.
Some of these memories were scarring, especially the ones where Emil killed his victims in sadistic ways to devour their abilities for his own. His original ability was to steal the lifeforce of others through physical contact, which later evolved to allow him to do so without physical touch as long as his victims were close enough to him. He first found out about his ability when he accidentally killed his childhood friend when his ability just suddenly went out of control. He didn't start out as an insane and coldblooded murderer.
"Stop! STOP! Please, just stop! It hurts, it hurts!"
I couldn't tell which was more painful, the suffering which Emil's childhood friend and first victim went through as Emil's ability slowly leeched his life until he became a lifeless husk, or the extreme pain that Emil suffered as he accidentally underwent his first Devouring.
Yes, Emil's childhood friend was his very first victim, who also happened to be a ghost-inclined Ability Holder like Emil is. His ability was the ability to sense other ghost-inclined Ability Holders and it was how he seeked Emil out and befriended him, because he sensed that they were alike. Their shared circumstances allowed them to become friends who will not ostracise each other. Emil's ability suddenly going out of control was how Emil discovered the process of Devouring. It was entirely by accident that he killed his childhood friend.
The memories that followed showed me a little of Emil's life thereafter. Emil was no longer the same from then onwards. Something within him had changed. He had felt the differences in his body after he killed his friend and devoured his abilities and memories, including the knowledge of how to properly control his friend's ability. His body had suddenly become significantly healthier when he was just another very sickly child before the Devouring.
He eventually understood the reason behind his change and he started embarking on a path of no return from that moment onwards. Through the utilisation of his friend's ability, he started to seek and hunt down other people who were like them, ghost-inclined Ability Holders. People like us are extremely rare so it was not often that he could find a victim but when he eventually did, without fail, he would kill them to activate the Devouring process. From his memories I could tell that each of the Devouring processes was much more painful than the last. Maybe the more one devours, the more painful it will be, I don't know. There's too little that we know about our own kind in the first place.
Emil's last victim was Bernard, and the memories after that point in time were a lot more scattered and sparse. Most of the memories that I was forced to view were about the Devouring process itself or the events that happened shortly before Emil's victims were killed. Throughout the entire time I had no control over what I could see. I was forced to be a spectator within the prison of my own mind.
I could feel the creepy sensation of something changing within me as well. Somehow or another, the habits and preferences of these deceased people were very clearly imprinted in my mind against my will. Bernard likes the dark because it allows him to sleep easier despite not being able to sleep for more than half an hour for each sleep he gets, Emil always uses an excessive amount of toothpaste whenever he brushes his teeth to scrub out the vile "taste" he could always seem to remember tasting when he first devoured his own friend. The one with the reduced presence ability has the habit of wearing bells around her wrist to alert others to her presence because she doesn't want to be missed out by her peers. The one who was born with a night vision ability would always consciously pretend to be unable to see clearly in the dark so as not to alert others to his oddity.
Watching all of their insecurities and fear really struck a chord within me, how hard they tried to conceal their "oddities" so that they would not be ostracised by the society which they lived in. They are blessed with gifts that people around them view as a curse, born with abilities that caused them to be prejudiced for no reasons other than unfounded fear.
It was then I truly understood what was going on. Their habits, memories, preferences, knowledge, ability; they live within me now. I am no longer just "me", Velda Vera. I am now a container that now contains the memories of other individuals which were forcefully embedded into my own soul.
I'm afraid, because if the habits and memories of others could really influence me without my consent, what would I become then? Worse still, what if I become someone like Emil, a person with a callous disregard for life? Will I become a murderer like he was? I don't want to be someone like him but this is no longer within my control.
What kind of person am I going to turn into now? How much control do I still have over my own mind and body?
Thanks to the Devouring I had viewed Emil's last memory and emotions as he breathed his last. Despite the fact that we were out for each other's blood I sympathised and agreed with his last thoughts, that the fate that we were forced to subject to simply for being born as an Ability Holder was just outright tragic. If this is what we will be fated to endure once we devour another, to be burdened with the regrets and fears of your victims once you devoured another's ability and memories, intentional or not, then this is a gift that I rather not have. The price for possessing it is too hefty and tragic.
The true potential of Ghost-inclined Ability Holders is a selfish one, it is a power built upon preying on the sacrifice of others. Through Devouring we can gain the abilities of our victims and even magically fix the shabby health conditions that are so prevalent in our bodies, but you will forever have to live with the ghosts of your victims constantly haunting your mind.
Either you break down from the insanity that comes from it, or you grow cold-hearted enough to ignore the whispers of memories which you stole. I'm afraid of either outcome befalling me, let alone deciding which outcome I prefer.
What I'm sure of is that life will never be the same ever again. Will I still be me? If… If I ever start to lose myself, will somebody come to stop me? Emil didn't have anyone to stop him when he started to lose his sanity and ended up becoming a murderer who was sick in the head. He never had someone to pull him out of that abyss. Will I be like him?
Will I… still be me?
It's like Looker had speculated, Velda ended up burning a high fever not long after he told them more about what he knew about ghost-inclined Ability Holders. Flannery had long since treated the girl as her own little sister once she and Vance had decided to get into a serious relationship with the goal of marriage in mind. Now that something like that had happened to Velda, Flannery had no interest nor was she in the mood to help out in the anti-Team Plasma operation that she was originally sent here for. Velda needed her right now.
Furthermore, like Steven had mentioned before the start of this operation, they were not obliged to help the other regions at the expense of their own interests. Hoenn had already gone far beyond what they were required to contribute.
Velda was constantly sweating and Flannery had lost count just how many times she had to help change out her drenched clothes for dry ones and also to wipe her down. The amount of sweat perspired was too much to be natural. Furthermore, although Velda's forehead was hot to the touch the rest of her body felt cold, especially her limbs. Even the doctors had no idea why this was the case.
Fortunately, Velda woke up about four hours later. She had been unconscious for almost ten hours in total. Flannery could tell that the girl was feeling weak and that her mind was a little muddled from the fever, but thankfully the girl's mind was still clear enough to hold a proper conversation.
"Vel, it's me. Can you hear me?"
Velda nodded weakly and Flannery helped to lift her up to sit up on the bed. Flannery took Velda's temperature once again to her relief, her body temperature was starting to drop. Her fever had finally broken.
"What… happened?"
"I don't know. I found you unconscious and your pokemon trying to bring you out of the stronghold. Don't worry about them, they are safe, but you need to take it easy. You had a really high fever," Flannery gently informed Velda as she allowed the girl to lean on her shoulder for support, the girl obviously still feeling weak from her fever.
"I… I killed him. Emil Bonser, that ghost-inclined Ability Holder the doc told me about. Devouring," Velda said weakly between breaths, still a little delirious from the fever. "It's… horrible, the vile feeling in my mouth, like someone forced rotting meat down my throat and-"
"Vel, you need to relax, it's over," Flannery tried coaxing Velda out of her trance but Velda simply shook her head as if in resistance.
"No, you don't understand. Devouring, it's more than… I don't even know how to start describing- God, it's so horrible. I now have voices in my head and habits that are not mine and-"
"Vel, Vel! Look at me. Vel, breathe," Flannery forced Velda's attention on her and thankfully, Velda managed to take a deep breath as Flannery wanted her to, finally calming down a little before she experienced a panic attack. Velda eventually calmed down as Flannery lent the girl her shoulder to lean on, rubbing soothing circles on Velda's back to assure her that she's here and not going anywhere.
"You want to talk about it?" Flannery asked softly as Velda leaned her head on her shoulder. It took a while, but Velda eventually opened up.
She told her about what happened in that fight against Emil Bonser, how she was nearly killed and then killed him in return, what she experienced in that "dream", inheriting the abilities, memories, knowledge, and most likely even the habits and preferences of the deceased that is now somehow embedded in her mind against her will. She confided to her about her fear of possibly turning into a callous unfeeling person like Emil now that a piece of him is permanently melded into her mind and Flannery's heart sank further with every new piece of information Velda revealed.
No wonder she was on the verge of a panic attack. No sane person would want a piece of a psychotic murderer constantly haunting their mind.
"I think you need some sleep."
"Can't. I now have an Insomnia ability too. Don't ask me how I know it, I… I just know that I have it now," Velda whispered weakly. Maybe it was because she was still recovering from this "Devouring", but she still ended up asleep from exhaustion not long after, allowing Flannery to quietly leave the room and search for Sebastian. The frown on the butler's face deepened the more he learnt of what Flannery told him about what Velda confided in her.
"I will have to inform Master Griff about this. This… Whatever this Devouring is, something needs to be done about it, especially when now the memories, and the possibility of the personality of a psychotic murderer is being inserted into Ms Velda's mind."
"I don't think she can continue with her interpol work as it is," Flannery tiredly ran a hand through her unruly hair. "Maybe we should try looking for a psychic who could maybe remove these external influences and memories from her mind without damaging it."
"Do you have any suggestions?"
"I…" Flannery's thoughts wandered over to the twins residing in Mossdeep for a short moment but she shook her head after giving it a little more thought. The twins might be powerful psychics, but she's sure that dealing with something as delicate as meddling with somebody else's minds is not their area of expertise.
"I'm sorry, nobody came to mind at the moment-"
Flannery's words were promptly interrupted when a banette suddenly appeared from out of nowhere and floated in the space between them, agitatedly gesturing to itself as if trying to get them to understand something. That's Dolly, Flannery recalled, one of Velda's pokemon and if she recalled correctly, one of the earliest pokemon which Velda had captured and befriended on her journey.
"I… I'm sorry, but I don't speak ghost-nese," Flannery flatly reminded the ghost when she tried and failed spectacularly to understand the banette who was gesturing animatedly. Dolly comically froze in her tracks for a short moment as if also remembering that the people in front of her don't possess the same gift its trainer does, but that doesn't stop it from punching the switch of a pokeball hanging on Sebastian's belt to release Sebastian's medicham in order to get it to act as its translator.
At least the ghost has some really quick thinking.
"She says that she can help," Sebastian spoke after listening to what medicham had translated from the banette.
"Help? As in?" Flannery asked because for some reason something was nagging at her to clarify with the banette on exactly what this help entails.
"It said that…" Sebastian glanced back at the banette in a manner as unsure as the tone in Flannery's voice before his gaze went back to the Lavaridge Gym Leader. "It can… eat curses."
"...Pardon?"
"I have no idea what medicham meant by that too. I don't think even medicham understands what Dolly was trying to convey."
Dolly shrieked at them frustratedly, its anxiousness clear as day for them to see as the banette paced about in front of the door of Velda's room. An oddly coloured gengar slowly made its appearance as well when it tiredly emerged from the shadow casted by a nearby wall and if Flannery understood its gestures correctly it was trying to tell them to trust the banette.
"They are Velda's pokemon, I think I can trust them to act with Velda's interests and well-being in mind," Flannery drew her words out in a slow breath as she came to a decision after weighing the pros and cons. The subject of the mind had always been a very esoteric and vague field of study in the pokemon world, especially when it relates to the Mind Arts Trio and their effects on the human mind. Even till today not much was understood about how such pokemon and their related moves can positively or negatively affect the human mind. They are only just barely managing to scrap the surface of this mystery.
But, if Velda's banette deemed this situation serious enough to want to intervene and interfere directly with its trainer's mind, then maybe there is an unseen threat to the Devouring Velda was forced to undergo, one that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later. Even so, Flannery felt that it would be better if she could get a qualified second opinion. Flannery knows very little about the banette species but thankfully, she knew someone who is an expert on this matter.
So, she immediately made a call back home.
"Eating curses? That's… one way of putting it."
The expert which Flannery decided to consult was Phoebe of Hoenn's Elite Four, who possesses banettes in her team as well.
"The Devouring that you told me the girl underwent, I think that in a way, it can be viewed as a form of curse. If it falls under the category of a curse then it's not too far of a stretch to assume that the banette species, a ghost known for their associations with curses and grudges, is able to do something about it. The zipper over a banette's mouth is always closed. Nobody had really managed to uncover why that is the case through scientific means, but if we were to refer to the folklores surrounding their species it was stated that the zipper keeps a very strong cursed energy contained within the banette. It was implicitly hinted that banettes are walking living containers of curses and grudges if we were to read in between the lines."
"So curses are what they thrive on?"
"According to folklore, very strong negative feelings like grudges, hatred, and resentment are what keeps banettes alive. I believe that there's some truth in it because it is true that banettes are highly attuned to negative emotions even when compared to other species of ghost types. But about eating curses, even I don't know much about that because banettes do not easily unzip the zipper over their mouths. Some say it is because doing so will release the cursed energy in its body and cause it to die, but if you had seen a Mega Banette before you would observe that the zippers of a Mega Banette are unzipped and yet they are still pretty much alive and kicking. As for eating curses…"
Phoebe's voice at the other end of the line trailed off into silence for a short while before resuming.
"Banettes are notorious for planting curses, but they are not known to be able to remove curses. At least, I've never personally seen or heard about such things. Still, I believe it is not beyond the realm of impossibility for them to be able to remove curses. Ghosts are a part of the Mind Arts Trio, Flannery, and we all know better than most just how much we still don't understand about them and the depths of their power. But if banettes really can remove curses, then they are undoubtedly the best candidates for doing so among all the ghost types that we currently know, because they are born to contain curses and strong negative energy within their bodies. If I have to place my bet on a ghost who can absorb powerful negative energy and still emerge out of it unscathed, it would be the banette species. That is, assuming that whatever happened to the girl through Devouring really falls under the category of a curse."
"So in the end it's a matter of how much I trust Vel's banette to be able to help her?"
"From what little I've seen back at Mirage Island and what you told me about her, she seems to be loved by ghosts. If her banette is truly worried and is acting out of concern for her, I think its actions can be trusted. I won't deny that ghosts have an overall bad rep, but when they truly found a trainer that they love with all their heart they are some of the most loyal and reliable friends to have on your side. Also, if the banette is really that worried about the girl's condition to the extent that it is urging you to allow it to "eat" its trainer's curse, maybe the situation is a lot more dire than we believed it to be even if the girl looks to be fine right now. They are ghosts, they can sense things nobody else can."
"You mean… Vel's in danger? She looks fine to me."
"I'm just speculating based on what you told me about the banette's behaviour. I'm just afraid that we might not be aware of something that the banette is aware of and it is so dangerous that actions need to be taken immediately, then maybe, it might be better to just trust the banette to do what it thinks would be the right thing to do."
The call ended shortly after and Flannery's heart felt much heavier than it was before she made that call. Velda looked fine to her when she first woke up before falling asleep from exhaustion shortly after, but Phoebe did bring up a valid point. Dolly was obviously very anxious about its trainer, to the point that it was urging her to allow it to do something to help with immediate effect. If it's because of something that only Dolly can sense and if it's something dangerous that might threaten Velda's life, then maybe they should really just trust the banette on this issue and leave Velda to its good hands.
In truth, Flannery knew that she had already come to a decision. She looked back at Sebastian, who looked as conflicted as she does but there's really nothing any of them can do right now. They had tried contacting Looker, a qualified Ghost Specialist who would probably be of immense help in this situation, but he's away trying to contain the chaos that resulted from the recent mess with Team Plasma. He wouldn't be back anytime soon and is currently off the grid.
"What did they say?" Flannery asked, knowing that Sebastian had just returned from making a call to Velda's parents to inform them about this unforeseen development.
"They are very worried, but agreed to entrust her into your hands because you have the best understanding of the issue right now after much persuasion on Young Master Vance's part."
Flannery covered her face with her hands and released a frustrated shout in her stress, not wanting to imagine what would happen if her judgement proved to be wrong. Vance had entrusted his sister's life into her hands and she knows just how much he treasures her, how would she be able to face Vance ever again if anything bad were to happen to Velda?
"I don't know what it is that you sensed from Velda that made you so agitated to the point that you feel that action has to be taken immediately when she seems to be alright, but please, whatever it is, just… just make sure that she's alright. I don't want to think about what would happen otherwise," Flannery half-pleaded and half-begged to the banette hovering anxiously not far away from them. Dolly perked up after hearing that she had been given the green light, patting itself on the chest in confidence as if trying to reassure her and Sebastian to leave things to her to protect its trainer before swiftly phasing through the door of Velda's room and disappearing entirely.
"Do you need a drink?" Sebastian asked in concern as Flannery tiredly took a seat outside Velda's room by the door, deciding to keep a vigil until Dolly was done with whatever it had decided to do. She won't let anybody interrupt Dolly until then.
"Coffee," Flannery eventually decided. "Lots and lots of coffee."
Because if her hunch was right, this might just be a very long night.
Character and pokemon list:
Velda Vera, Age: 14, Female, Pokemon Trainer, Member of the International Police
Pokemon on hand:
1) Rapidash (Flamel), male
2) Swampert (Bigblue), male
3) Banette (Dolly), female
4) Flygon (Snap), male
5) Absol (Kelsa), female
6) Charizard (Toothless), male
7) Cradily (Lily), female
8) Espeon (Rena), female
9) Pachirisu (Fuzzy), male
10) Tyranitar (Kratos), male
11) Clefairy (Joy), female
12) Nidoqueen (Ness), female
13) Pangoro (Hulk), male
14) Porygon-Z (Jarvis), genderless
15) Scizor (Archer), male
16) Lapras (Chill), female
17) Gengar (Wacky), male