The question hung in the air like a challenge. Jack knew that this was the moment of truth. He didn't want to lie: he had been the boy who had tripped up Horace Tipperlong and pushed him into the hole. And it was clear that the man was still bitter about the incident. But at the same time, Tipperlong's recollections of the events were wildly different from his own, to the extent of not even being consistent.
But how should he respond? Perhaps some sort of an apology and an attempt at reconciliation was in order, but at the same time, he would also have to set the record straight about a few things. Jack had had a lot of training in how to handle tricky interview situations, but nothing had prepared him for something like this.
"I'm sorry to hear about this adventure of yours," he said at length, "but are you sure your recollections of the event are accurate? I'm a bit confused about what you think I'm supposed to have done here. Did I trip you up and push you in a hole, or did I jump on you from behind and tie you up? If you can't remember exactly what I'm supposed to have done, how can you be so confident that it was me who did it?"
"Don't talk rot," said Dr Tipperlong sharply. "You know full well what you did, you villainous boy."
Blow, thought Jack. It's all over now. There was no point in not mentioning the sea of adventure any more. Nor was there any point in trying to sugar-coat things. In for a penny, in for a pound. He might as well just set the record straight while he could.
"I'm sorry, Dr Tipperlong," he said, "but I think there's been some sort of a misunderstanding here. Your recollection of what happened in the Hebrides eleven years ago is very different from my recollection of what happened in the Hebrides eleven years ago. I most certainly did not lie in wait to ambush you as you claim. My first priority when I met you was to establish whether or not you could be trusted. We were stranded on the island and there were some dangerous criminals operating in the area. They had already taken the adult responsible for us hostage and damaged our boat beyond repair, and just two hours before you arrived they had come back to the island looking for us. We had to make sure that you were not one of them."
Dr Tipperlong bristled. "And what, pray tell, makes you think that I was?"
Jack was on a roll. "When you told me that you were an ornithologist, I started paying close attention to what you had to say about the subject. You said that you weren't familiar with sea birds because you normally studied 'ordinary birds.' What is that even supposed to mean? Then you seemed oblivious to the birds nesting on the island—the gulls, the kittiwakes, the puffins, all over the place. But the final straw came when you thought that Kiki, my pet cockatoo, Cacatua galerita, was also a sea bird. Seriously, these are the elementary basics. It's ornithology 101. And don't even get me started on your patronising attitude. You seemed more interested in reciting Humpty Dumpty to us and comparing us to Just William than in asking if we needed any help. Had it not occurred to you that one of us could have been injured?"
"I have no recollection of any of that," replied Dr Tipperlong indignantly. "And are you seriously questioning my competence as an ornithologist?"
"Oh I'm sure that you're a fine ornithologist now," said Jack. "You wouldn't have got onto Dr Johns's team if you weren't. And to be fair I did realise that I had misjudged you and I do sincerely owe you an apology for that. But when we realised that that was the case, our priority was to rescue you, return your boat to you, and get you back to safety. I most certainly did not push you back down the hatch as you claimed. We should have dispatched the guard while he was asleep and made off to safety in the gang's boat. We would have if you hadn't started shouting your head off. Yes, I misjudged you and yes I am sorry for that. But you really were your own worst enemy that night, you know."
"That is most certainly not how I remember it," insisted Dr Tipperlong. "I have never been so insulted in all my life. First you steal my boat and leave me in the hands of a violent criminal gang, and now you have the temerity to attend an interview with me in which you repeatedly question my professional competence, insult me to my face, and then invent some cock-and-bull story expecting me to believe that you were the hero of the situation. Who do you think you are? James Bond?"
He picked up Jack's file and ripped it in two.
"Now get out of my laboratory," he said quietly.
Jack hesitated briefly.
"GET OUT!" shouted Dr Tipperlong.