When he was sixteen, George Samuel Kirk had learned some hard truths about his life and the universe. First, being a hero's son was overrated, especially when the father was dead. Second, growing up as a dead hero's son was worse when your mother ran away from her duties to fly around the galaxy as if everything was fine. Third, it would have been easier to live with an adoptive father (who was kind, but increasingly angry with his absent wife) if George could have had a normal teenage crisis. He would have shouted at his mother and stepfather, and run away once or twice. Then, he would talk with them, calm down and grow into a responsible young man.

Unfortunately, his little brother Jim had started his revolt against authority when he was seven and had never stopped since. So, his fourth truth was this: being a little genius who didn't know when to shut up was the worst thing in his life.

Jim was asking uncomfortable questions since he was old enough to talk. Why their mother was never there? Why did she look at Sam sometimes, but never at him? Why did George let everyone call him Sam when he didn't like it? Did George notice how many empty bottles were in the trashcan after Winona left?

George was no genius, but he wasn't a fool. His grades were excellent. But nothing had prepared him for Jim's precociousness. A child that age shouldn't see all the flaws in the illusion they called family. Their mother called him Sam because she hated all memories of their father. That was why she avoided eye contact with Jim and tried to look at George as little as she could. George hated it. He thought of himself as George since he was ten years old. Jim called him George, mainly to piss off their mother, but it still was nice of him. The worst was hearing Jim say "she" or "Winona", never "mom". He didn't know when he began to do the same.

George was thirteen when Frank became their stepfather. He liked him well enough. It was easy to talk about Winona with him, to imagine building a future together. Winona was going to stay on Earth, finally. George would see her as his mother again. And for a time, it was nice. Winona listened to him talk about his girlfriend Kate and how much he loved biology. But after a few weeks, she said she was leaving on a five years mission. The dream fell apart around him. The next week, Jim crashed Frank's car into a ravine, nearly killing himself.

George thought the man reacted with amazing composure. He went to look for Jim at the police station and lectured him in front of the police without losing his calm. When they got home, he told Jim he would repay for his loss by working six hours a week on the farm and the house until he came of age. George knew that wouldn't repay the antique car's price. It was a family heirloom that Frank loved to keep in perfect working condition. He never screamed. Jim listened with a bored expression, then shrugged and went to his room.

Seeing him act like that made George freeze with fear. He didn't know why. He followed Jim to his room, stopped him from locking the door, and sat next to him on the bed. Jim took an old paper comic in his hands. He pretended George wasn't there. George tried to find his words. He couldn't believe Jim could act like nothing happened.

"You could have died," he said after a long time. His voice was trembling with fear and suppressed rage.

"Maybe. And so what?" Jim turned the page he was pretending to read.

"Can you imagine what that would do to us? To Frank, Wino... our mother? To me?"

This time, Jim looked up.

"Frank takes care of us because he hopes she'll come back to his bed. She would be relieved she didn't have to pretend to like me anymore. And your life would be easier if I were gone. You think I'm just a burden."

It was so close to what George thought sometimes it hurt. He hit Jim's cheek hard before he could stop himself. They stared at each other, both baffled by what had happened. They both wanted a word of forgiveness, a sign they still loved each other. Nothing came. George left the room, feeling awful. He felt like he failed and something ended forever. Sometimes, he was tired of Jim, but he still loved him so much. Jim was his brother, his friend, his accomplice. Or at least, he had been. That blow shattered the truth and closeness between them.

A week later, they started talking to each other again, but the strain was still there. When George broke up with Kate, he said nothing to Jim. They no longer sat on the roof to look at the stars at night, no longer help each other with schoolwork. George didn't know how to make up for what he did.

He never hit Jim again, but it was too late.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Six months later, Frank was the one who hit Jim. George wasn't there, but he understood well enough what those bruises on Jim's shoulder mean. To his great shame, he said nothing. Neither did Frank nor Jim. In the evening, he still sat with Frank on the porch for a few minutes to chat. They talked about school, the farm, the weather, anything except Jim, who locked himself in his room every day after dinner before he fled by his bedroom window to go who knew where. Mostly, Frank and George talked about Winona. They both missed her and hoped she'd be safe in space. They hoped she would stop grieving and started living again. George was coming to an age he didn't need a mother any longer, but still wanted her to be there. He wanted his family to heal.

"Do you know what you want to do with your life, Sam?" Frank asked on one rainy day.

"Dunno," George said, like any fifteen-year-old kid discovering the day he would have to choose a future was coming closer and closer. "I like biology, but... do I want to do that all my life?"

"When I was younger, my father wanted me to get an education. He told me being a farmer was a hard, exhausting and unprofitable profession. Il did what he wanted. I studied law. Failed. I tried sociology. Failed. A whole year wasted. I came home for the summer. My father looked so disappointed. I wasn't, because it wasn't for me. What pissed me off was that he put money on me, and it was lost. So I told him I was going to help for the summer to repay him."

Frank stayed quiet for a moment.

"And?"

"And I found out he was right. The job was tiring. I got sunburned, and strained a few muscles, but it was alright. I found out I was good at accounting. I began to tireless quickly, and I was so proud of every penny I earned working there. Yes, it may be a thankless, exhausting job. For sure, it's not intellectually stimulating. But I'm good at it and that makes me proud. What I mean to say is try and see by yourself. It's okay to fail. Just get up and try again until you found what's for you."

"I don't want to go to Starfleet, I think, but there's a university in Florida. I like their program, but it's in three years and I want to be sure..."

"Aren't there training programs for smart boys like you?"

It was a good idea. A few days later, he showed Frank a call for a month-long internship at an off-planet botany station. They were looking for boys and girls between fourteen and eighteen. Frank approved. Winona said yes on their next call. Jim looked so proud of his brother.

George went and realized a few hours after the internship began he had left Frank and Jim alone with each other for a month. He tried to convince himself nothing bad would happen, but he was lying to himself. They loathed each other. Without George to do all the communication work, anything could happen.

It was too late to regret. George let himself enjoy the lessons and experiences. A month later, he went home with the certitude biology was for him. He couldn't wait to tell Jim. Except his brother was not even there to welcome him. The next morning and evening came and went with no sign of him.

"If that little prick ever shows up again, it'll still be too soon," was Frank's only answer.

Jim came back a week later with a black eye just deflating, a slight limp and a torn t-shirt. George tried to talk to him, to no avail. From that day on, Jim never spoke to Frank again. George was sixteen and had been the only reasonable person in their unhappy family for at least ten. He had more than enough.

He gave up.

He would regret it all his life, but he gave up. George was sixteen, he had a girlfriend he loved very much and had to maintain his school result if he wanted to integrate that university's course. He no longer had the energy to convince his mother to come back for the thousandth time, to convince Jim to give a chance to an educational system that did not know what to do with his genius, his notoriety and his energy, to make small talk to Frank rather than leave him alone to drink all evening on his porch.

A few months later, Jim nearly lost an eye in a school fight. No one knew the cause. The boy was thirteen and George was lost. He didn't even try to scold him and went straight to his room to call Winona.

The woman who appeared on the screen seemed more and more like a stranger every time he saw her. He still loved her, but grief and regret were slowly taking over.

"Sam! What's going on?"

She seemed surprised. They talked little, and never called outside of programmed appointments.

"Am I bothering you?"

"Not at all," she said with something like affection in her voice. She even looked happy to see him. "I've got a report to finish, but it can wait. Tell me about you."

George had nothing to say about himself she didn't already know. Most things he just kept to himself. He also had nothing to ask her about because he didn't care about Winona's life when she was so far from them.

"It's about Jim. He... I don't know what to do with him anymore."

Winona's face shut down. He explained the fight but didn't ask her to come home. If she did, it would only make things worse. He still wanted to beg her to find a solution, anything that would relieve him of the guilt. For a long time, Winona said nothing, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Did you like your internship last summer?" she finally asked.

A pressing urge to slap this woman he loved rose in George's chest. He could neither understand nor help her. She was so hard to love. He didn't know how he could still do it. How could she show so little concern for her sons? She had never asked him questions about his internship or his plans for the future before, and now she did when he asked her help for Jim?

"I did", he answered, gritting his teeth. "It was very interesting."

"Frank told me it did you good to get away from home for a few weeks. He said you're more composed now. Maybe Jim needs that."

So she did listen. Once he recovered from his astonishment, George thought about his mother's solution. He liked it. His genius mind overwhelmed Jim. Maybe confronting him with something other than the classic school system would do him good. It was what George needed to flourish, but everyone was different. It could be a solution, even if it was a temporary one.

Of course, he asked Frank his opinion. The man was quite enthusiastic. Maybe he just liked the idea of being rid of Jim for a few months, but he was not a wicked man and spent many hours with Sam looking for the best options. He even contacted some people for additional information. Finally, the three of them agreed and George talked to Jim two days before the summer holidays.

"It's a great opportunity," he insisted when Jim frowned. "That structure specializes in gifted young people's education. No classes, or at least no traditional classes, exercise, outdoor life... You would be in a small group of teenagers. The supervising adults specialize in education, science, and humanities. There are some of the Federation's greatest minds helping create this new colony. Have you ever heard of Hoshi Sato?"

"Obviously." Jim rolled his eyes. "Best linguist of the Federation, translation technology's developer, retired Starfleet officer... She's great. Half the linguists of the galaxy would kill to speak with her, but she cut off all contacts with Starfleet when she retired. So, she's on that program? The perfect bait to get rid of me, huh? Let's send Jim to faint in front of the galaxy's greatest minds!"

He looked furious, but George could see his interest. After some more yelling, Jim grabbed the documentation they showed him and started reading. The room went silent. It had been a long time since George saw him so interested in something other than making other people angry. He was so happy he nearly sang and dance in the middle of the room.

After a few minutes of reading, Jim nodded.

"I'll go. When am I leaving?"

"The day after tomorrow at noon from the San Francisco spaceport," Frank said. "Sam'll take you there."

Everyone could read his relief at the thought of being rid of Jim on his face. George feared it was the same on his own. Jim's ironic smile was proof of its own. The worst part was that George couldn't even be ashamed of wanting to get rid of his brother.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

San Francisco was crowded, noisy, and hot. Neither Jim nor George had ever set foot there. They both felt lost in that crowd. The commotion was even worse in the spaceport with all those humans and aliens running, oblivious to everyone around them. Even the few Vulcans walked fast, far from their usual slow dignity.

Jim and George took refuge in a corner of the enormous hall. Sitting side by side on a bench, they watched the crowd pass by. They were leaving each other for the second time ever, but had nothing to say to each other. It had been months, maybe years, since they had anything in common except their blood and the chip on their shoulder.

"You'll be happy there," George said just before Jim had to leave. "Two months pass quickly, you'll see."

Jim sighed as only teenagers can.

"I'm thirteen. I'm not a kid George. Yes, time flies and soon you'll have to tolerate me again. You thought I should go. Don't start regretting your choices. It's what you wanted. You'll have two months to be an only child in the countryside. Be happy, enjoy your friends and your girlfriend. Don't pretend you just realize you want me there and how wonderful it is to be, my big brother."

As always, Jim knew how to hit hard. George gritted his teeth and refused to take the bait. He didn't want his last moments with his brother to degenerate into a fight.

The first call for Tarsus IV echoed in the lobby. Jim stood up, performing a mocking military salute.

"Cadet Kirk, ready to go, sir! Shall we cry or should we shake hands? For your information, I hate crying."

George shoved the outstretched hand away.

"Damn it, Jim. Can't you take things seriously now and there?"

"You mean like an adult?" Jim replied with sarcasm. "I'm not one yet, even if no one seems to care. And even if I was... Do Frank and Winona act like adults? I don't think so. Besides, I take after my mother, not my father. Irresponsibility is in my genes."

"Jim..."

"Stop. You're getting rid of me. Don't pretend you regret it, don't pretend you care. I'm just a pain in the ass to you. So let's just say goodbye and you'll see me in two months. I'll bet you I'll be as much a bother to you as I am now."

He turned away and head for the doors. He looked fierce and angry. Watching him go, George sighed. There was truth in Jim's harsh words. All he hoped now was that Jim would come back with more maturity and less bitterness. Maybe then they could be brothers again.

It would never happen. The boy who would leave off the shuttle bringing the Tarsus IV's survivors back to Earth would be anything but that. Jim left like a determined and angry young boy. He would return as an even more bitter man, too skinny for his age, ready to blame the world and his family for what happened to him.

Tarsus was supposed to help him. It would destroy him. And George could only blame himself for it until the last day of his life. He would never forgive himself for wanting to be rid of the responsibility of helping Jim become an adult for just two months, two days, two minutes. Frank, Winona and he had failed Jim. They hurt him so much, by neglect and exhaustion, they could never bring him back.

But one day, the family Jim would build would do it. He wasn't there yet.