HIKARU

Life and work on a spaceship isn't easy. After a few months, strange symptoms develop. In Sulu's case, he heard the voice of the engines and circuits purring in the walls like they were voices. Now, he could distinguish a reassuring purr from an incoming disaster, and he isn't an engineer. What he developed most was his instinct. Instinct pushes people to fall to the ground two milliseconds before a jolt runs through the ship or before an infiltration team tries to shoot everyone in the room. That same instinct is persistently screaming in Sulu's ear that something's wrong. It began when the captain and the others returned on board. Nothing has been right on the Enterprise since the horror of Cykax. A newcomer would sense it within a minute on board.

His instinct also tells Sulu the malaise runs deeper than it should, even under such circumstances. Sulu knows his captain well enough to know the inner demons are more deadly than his usual ones. Spock likes to think he is in control of his emotions but has never been so wrong. He's ready to implode or explode anytime now. Uhura and Chekov aren't much better.

Normally, or at least according to the Enterprise's flexible conception of normalcy, each of them should be on the way to healing now. They lived through worse things than Cykax, and have faced adversity again and again, always beating the odds and getting back up to face the next enemy, the next problem. They're built like that on the Enterprise. Only this time, they can't or won't put the past behind them. The captain broods in a corner of the ship, lost in his distress, unable to see how much it hurts the others. Even McCoy can't reach him. Kirk's suffering overwhelms the doctor. He doesn't know if he needs to be the friend or the doctor right now. Uhura, Chekov, and Spock are making plans that Sulu cannot grasp, thinking of nothing else all day long. They form a clan, separated from the rest of the crew. The beautiful and unique dynamic of the Enterprise is gone.

Unacceptable.

Sulu knows what he must do: put the Team back together. Four of them are lost in pain, but the three others still have their heads on their shoulders. To each his task: McCoy'll take care of the captain, Scott of the ship, which means Sulu will deal with Uhura, Spock, and Chekov. They don't even need to talk about it.

It doesn't mean it's easy to implement his plans. Outside of their shift on the bridge, the three accomplices are slipping through his fingers, always finding an excuse to escape, and when he knows on their doors, no one answers. Fortunately, Sulu followed the Jim T. Kirk School on Infiltration, Hacking, and Making Yourself a Nuisance. They're mistaken if they think they can avoid him for much longer.

One day, Sulu leaves the bridge before the end of their shift, using an experiment he needs to monitor as an excuse. He finishes it two days ago, but the others don't know that. The next step is to guess where they met. It won't be an office or laboratory. Spock is too professional to abuse his rank and ask the computer to hide their presence on a workspace, so it must be one of their rooms. Not Spock's. The captain could enter and wonder why Uhura and Chekov are always there. It's probably not Uhura's either. Sulu would have heard some rumors they were back together. The meeting must be in Chekov's room.

Sulu has some qualms about forcing his way into his friend's room. It could end their friendship, but it's friendship that pushes him to act, regardless. Sulu breaks inside, fully aware that his actions might lead to a transfer away from his second family. At least he will have done everything he could to rebuild it.

Once inside, his qualms disappear. He never thought about what he would find, but not this accumulation of papers, scattered on the floor, left on every flat surface in neat piles or pinned to the walls. He takes care not to disturb anything, sits on a space left on the floor, and reads.

A minute later, Sulu puts the paper down. He's shaking. Never he would have thought... He feels a century older after reading thirty lines of tightly packed text, and his friends have read so much more of these long testimonies. He starting to understand, and he doesn't like what he's seeing. He's smart enough to fill the gaps. Almost despite himself, Sulu reaches out to another bundle. He reads.

After another few minutes, he forces himself to stop and puts the paper back on its spot. His hands are shaking. If he never read something like that again, it still would be too soon. Despite himself, his eyes keeps going back to the awful truth written everywhere around him. He doesn't start reading again, only because he knows he must keep a cool head, and keep his distance, because no one else will.

He isn't sure he can. Sulu would like to burn every one of this paper down, even if he realizes how futile that thought is.

The doors open just when he finally pulls himself together. The three newcomers stare at him, stunned to see him there before Spock has the reflex to close the door behind them.

"Really, Sulu?" Uhura asks. Sulu has never seen her so angry. Her fury could burn a sun. Sulu takes a step back and opens his mouth to explain, but she immediately cuts him off. "Of all the people on board, you're the last one I would have suspected of such a violation of privacy. It wouldn't look good on your record. Don't you want to become a captain?"

Questioning her professional ethics and blackmailing him in one breath. Uhura knows how to hurt someone with just a few words. But Sulu is not one to back down from a fight.

"The captain will only have to write my blame right after yours. The difference is I don't risk a dismissal from Starfleet like you. Are you ready for that? You must be if you're doing this so quietly. How could you, Chekov? Your entire family would die of shame."

His friend clenches his fists like he's ready to hit Sulu.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I would. But I won't."

"Why?"

Sulu can hear the distrust in Chekov's voice. Uhura leans against the door as if to block him if he tries to leave. Spock remains apart, silent and expressionless. He's the more dangerous of the three.

"I won't, because it would hurt Kirk too much at this stage. I'd rather leave him in the dark than reveal how much you've betrayed his trust. I don't want to see him regret having taken him on board and share his secrets and skills with you. Still. I wonder what he'd think knowing you used skills he taught you, Chekov, to dig into Starfleet archives and his past in impunity."

Uhura and Chekov jump to their feet. He can see anger and shame at his dig clash inside them, when Spock only nods, like he agrees with the logic of his reasoning. Sulu uses this to continue his speech.

"Second, I understand why you dug so deep in the archives. Let's see if I'm right. The Captain was on Tarsus, confided to you while you were starving on Cykax. What you learned was so awful you couldn't stop yourself from learning more, because you love him. We all do, even if he still has trouble believing it. I wasn't there with you. I didn't hear his story. But... I can't judge you. I'd probably would have done the same. I can't approve, but... I'm in."

"You're in," Spock repeats, taken aback by his speech.

Sulu has never seen him so surprised, except in front of the enigma Of Jim T. Kirk. If Jim's still a mystery to him, after that. Sadly, the scattered documents around them provide too many painful answers about Jim's past. Tarsus explains nearly everything wrong with him. His dad's death explains the rest.

"Let me guess. You're trying to find out Kodos, aren't you? Like I said, I'm in. But. I need to know if you want to bring him to justice or to kill him."

His question visibly shocked them. Even Spock's eyes widen for half a second before he regains his composure.

"It's about justice, of course!" Uhura cries.

"In several alien societies, murder is viewed as justice. It was one on Earth, a long time ago."

She gives him a puzzled look. Sulu shrugs. He doesn't approve, but sometimes it's easier and more effective to forget about morality. One can be against the death penalty while wishing it could apply to some particular cases. Kodos isn't the kind of man who deserves to serve a life sentence in prison, even a Klingon one. Not after killing thousands of people.

Spock doesn't protest. His precious logic fades once he faces Kirk's suffering. Vulcans were violent people. Spock would be one if he ever met Kodos. Kirk has always been his greatest weakness.

Their greatest weakness, if Sulu is to take part in their plan.

"He must be put on trial," Chekov says.

"How? I've read your notes. You found it, or you think you did, but bringing him to justice is another matter than tracking him down."

Sulu's impressed they found him. Who would imagine this century's greatest criminal is hiding under the identity of a traveling comedian? But maybe that's how he could disappear for so long.

"How did you find him, anyway?"

"Chekov did," Uhura explains, sitting down, calmer now she knows Sulu's with them. "He saw a connection where no one, not even Spock, would have thought to look. A real Sherlock Holmes."

"Well, Sherlock Holmes was invented by a Russian," Chekov smiles, blushing a little under the compliment. "But Uhura was the one who confirmed my theory. She compared sound recordings."

Uhura sniffs in disdain.

"If the Federation had made Kodos' speech public, they could have caught him long ago."

Sulu doubts it. Few people have Uhura's ear for voices. More likely, Kodos would have lived for many more years without knowing justice. It disgusts Sulu to imagine this murderer living a full life unpunished.

"You'll have to tell me that story. I look forward to learning how much of a genius Chekov is. But, once again, how do you plan to bring him to justice? You can't use these files. I'm sure half of them are classified. Rightly so. Kodos' victims deserve to be left alone. The Captain wouldn't want to see you sacrifice your career for him."

After all, he said nothing of this whole affair since they knew him. He didn't want them to know, so it was better if he had never learned of their involvement. He wouldn't be grateful to them either for avenging or protecting him. Sulu doesn't say that out loud. They wouldn't listen, and they'd known Kirk for as long as him.

Despite the respect Sulu has for Jim Kirk and his right to keep his trauma to himself, despite his admiration for his captain, his thoughts aren't important. Tarsus wasn't only Jim's tragedy. The other survivors, either condemned by Kodos or not, the victims' families, all deserve justice. It's a small price to wake the survivors' memories to put an end to the Tarsus' case.

"It cannot come from us", Spock confirms. "However, some files are public. In the last twenty years, victims' associations have widely dissected them in search of justice. We have enough intel to relaunch the investigation."

"There were some files in the public ones that went unnoticed until now," Uhura adds. "Even a second recording of Kodos' voice, dating from two days before his speech. It's brief, but you can recognize his voice. He's calling one of the known leaders of the massacre, thanking him for the data provided. The message was lost in the mass of recordings Starfleet made public. I would have left it aside if I hadn't recognized Kodos' voice from the speech. It isn't particularly incriminating. It could have been a clerk thanking a colleague, ignoring what was going to happen."

"That's something, but how to use this recording? I've read the transcript of his speech, like everyone, but the audio one isn't public."

Chekov smiles from ear to ear.

"There's this Russian journalist I know. She interviewed me when I joined Starfleet. The youngest hope of Russian aeronautics, she called me. She has become friends with my family. She's great and never reveals her sources. It got her into trouble many times. Also, she has a personal interest in this story. Her aunt lived on Tarsus. She wants to see Kodos pay for his crimes, like us. If I send her the sample of Kodos' voice and a ticket to his current show, she'll make the connection, like we did."

It could work. Happy coincidences happen sometimes. A journalist involved in the case, going by chance to see an actor and finding his voice familiar, asking herself who this Anton Karidian is. An obscure actor, who wasn't on the survivor's list, but his voice recognizable as someone who worked in Kodos' administration, or worse? Was he a victim who changed his name to live without having to bear this heavy burden? It may be. Other survivors had done the same. Still, it would bother her. She'd look for photos of a younger Karidian, compare them to the Tarsus's citizen, and find no match. She'd return to the recording and notice it came from an "unidentified man". Too many coincidences. All men and women involved have been found and convicted. Their names and their records are in the Tarsus public files. Every one of them, except Kodos.

It's enough to write an article, enough to rally the survivors and the victims' families, enough to demand an investigation, demand that Kodos' speech be made public. Another journalist would hesitate. An article like that is akin to defamation. A scoop isn't enough to risk a lawsuit and to lose professional credibility. But a journalist with a personal interest in it?

Kodos is done. He just doesn't know it yet.

Sulu smiles at his friends. It'll work. He's sure of it and so do they, but he can see how glad they are to see he thinks the same. Now they need to sort out the details, and Sulu intends to go through all these documents with them to be sure nothing escaped their careful eyes. He doesn't want to learn more about the genocide, but it's his duty to Kodos' victims. Sulu took an oath when he joined Starfleet, and it's not to back down from mankind's worst acts.

After that, they'll send their data to Chekov's friend, making sure no one can trace them back to the Enterprise. Nothing particularly complicated for them. Jim Kirk taught them how to cover their tracks and how to be as visible and noisy as can be, depending on the circumstances. They'd need to get rid of all these compromising papers and check for the umpteenth time that they have left no trace in the Starfleet archives. And after that, they'd only need to wait.

PAVEL

He hates waiting. Since they finished their preparations, Pavel feels like he's sitting on a burning volcano. Of course, he does his best to stay focused on his work. It's easy, at first. The Enterprise still needs repairs after Sulu and Scott's gambit. Pavel helps whenever he can. After that, the Cykax case comes back to haunt them. He no longer has the time to think about Smilovna and his paper. Starfleet has sent investigators to find the truth and ask for repairs. They're all questioned again and again until Starfleet finally conceded they did the right thing in an awful situation. Everyone, including the captain, is taken by surprise when they hear Uhura's mocking sniff from the other side of the bridge. They receive medals. Liked it matters. Kirks organized a ceremony in memoriam of the fallen crewmembers who died in the name of nothing. After the Starfleet investigation ended, the Federation sent a representative to renew their compliments and condolences. The captain barely hides his exasperation. Spock's too. The all crew tries to keep a low profile.

Starfleet and the Federation talk about the Entreprise remaining in orbit around Cykax for the second part of the negotiations, led by some Federation officials. They want official apologies from both governments. The Enterprise's crew doesn't care about that. Pavel wants to start the engine and never see that awful planet again. He would almost move into Klingon territory if it meant he would never hear a thing about Cykax. Almost.

It doesn't come to such extremes. For the first time in history, the two governments of Cykax agreed on something that has nothing to do with shooting people to accuse the other side. They send the same message in the same second. When he reads it, the captain cynically says he admires nothing more than the ability of governments to ignore their differences to become a nuisance together.

"What are they saying?"

"Nothing worth repeating. Death threats to any Federation member who enters their airspace and nauseating accusations of treason against us. I can't wait for these people to take off from their planet and join us in space. The only thing that reassures me is that they won't get along any better with the Klingons. At least the Klingons have a sense of honor."

Pavel should have expected something like that. At least there's no reason to force the Enterprise to remain in orbit above Cykax. Another ship takes over, because the Federation has not completely lost hope of reaching a peaceful solution and getting apologies and guarantees, while the Enterprise may go search for nicer places in the galaxy, which means go to a recreation planet with a mandatory three weeks rest for the whole crew. The admiralty took great care in choosing the most peaceful planet possible: no mountains, no dangerous sea currents, and no aggressive animals or plants recorded. They're not supposed to make a sound or attract media attention during their stay. Supposedly, the Admiralty has even diverted another starship to patrol the area and take care of any problems that might arise unexpectedly.

A week on that paradisial island does wonders for Pavel's morale, mainly because he finally sends Zorya Smilovna the data she'll need to track down Kodos. After that, Pavel and the others can only wait. Again.

By the end of their leave, the entire crew is happy to leave. After what they've been through, they need to let off steam and run after adventure. The captain is particularly affected. He walks along the planet's paths, looking at the horizon with the eyes of a man who wants to run and scream, not hang out by a quiet lake. Everyone's relieved when they get the order to go back to their exploration mission.

Pavel counts the hour, waiting for something to happen, anything. He has a clock ticking in his mind. It's a relief when finally, one morning, Pavel overhears two crewmembers talking in the mess.

"Looks like he was hiding under the Federation's nose all this time. Can you believe that?"

"Hard to believe, but I hope they found him. It was time they did. Justice had waited for far too long."

"Do I agree... I can't imagine what it would be like for the victim if it was just a journalist wanting their two minutes of fame. Unspeakable."

That's the prevailing opinion on the board. Apart from Pavel, who knows the truth, no one dares to get excited about the article, if only to respect Kodos' victim's state of mind.

The following day, they hear about manifestations asking for the archives opening and the reopening of the trial, both in San Francisco and several other major cities of the Federation. Some even believe that Starfleet has to answer for its inability to find Kodos all these years. Pavel's surprised by the public reaction. The discovery of the bodies and genocide on Tarsus all these years ago hadn't provoked such a heated reaction. But after Tarsus' genocide and Vulcan's destruction, plus all that the Federation has suffered in recent years, people are no longer in shock. Now, they demand accountability.

On the Enterprise, the crew welcomes the news with satisfaction, except for an expected reluctance regarding the accusations of fault against Starfleet. It isn't surprising to see Spock disapproving. For him, it makes sense to want justice, but such emotional reactions are counterproductive. Sulu blinks at him and makes a well-deserved bitching face. Spock's anger when people mention Tarsus in his presence can be seen from the other side of the Ship, regardless of how much he rationalizes his actions. Pavels says so to Uhura, who snorts.

"He's only fooling himself. Spock cannot be rational when Jim's involved. I just hope..."

She stops when she sees Spock approaching. Pavel walks away, troubled. He spends the rest of the day thinking while helping with engine maintenance. He realizes that there's been a lot he's missed, regarding Spock and the captain, and he suddenly finds himself uneasy. Despite all the evidence to the contrary in recent weeks, Pavel has convinced himself that Spock can remain rational, at least a little, or at least more than he and Uhura. Pavel thought he would have stopped them if they went too far. Could they have crossed a line?

Pavel's relieved the captain isn't on the Enterprise when the news hits them. He's on a ground mission with McCoy and Scotty. Maybe the news will be old news when they return.

They aren't. Captain Kirk has barely put a step on the bridge, an almost sincere smile on his lips, when the Admiralty contacts him and requests a private discussion in the captain's office. It drags on for an unusually long time. When it's over, the Jim Kirk who comes out isn't the same man who came in. He sits on the captain's chair but doesn't seem to realize where he is. His shoulders are tense, his eyes unfocused. No one dares to say a single word. Only the hums of the engines break the silence until their captain blinks three times and looks at the bridge, the crew, and the space on the screen. His posture relaxes slightly, and the crew breathes again.

"Spock. Anything new on board?"

Here is the thing. Jim Kirk always smiles at Spock when they talk about their ship unless there's a crisis to deal with. But today's different. Pavel hates it. Spock shows no reaction, but he's tense too when he steps forward to list everything he feels the captain should know. Kirk listens and nods, attentive but distant. He doesn't talk about what happened with the Admiralty.

The next few days, Jim Kirk stays that attentive and distant man. He shows up on time for his watch, leads the crew on missions, and fights with everything he has in him to bring everyone back alive. Every day, he listens to the life stories of the crews. He knows who has a broken heart, who's celebrating their birthday, and which circuits of the ship need repair. Nothing escapes him. He encourages, congratulates, and comforts. He's there when people need him and he anticipates as much as possible all the needs of the crew and the ship, like he always did.

During his watch and in times of emergency, Jim Kirk is still the captain they know. Competent. Solid. Determined. The rest of the time, it's like the captain who's a friend to everyone on board, the man who smiles and calms the situation, is gone. Pavel had never seen him so tired. It's like their friend locked himself in a routine to protect himself and discover it's suffocating him. His perpetual wonder at the universe has disappeared.

Pavel isn't the only one to worry. Doctor McCoy seems on the verge of an aneurysm and it's hard to see everyone on board behave as if everything is perfectly normal and that the captain's depression isn't real. As if everyone isn't throwing anxious glances towards the captain once in a while.

Days pass. Weeks too. Nothing changes. The captain's still not fully here and no news of the Tarsus' case reaches them. The Federation must be responsible for that strange silence, somehow, because they only receive official communications for a few days and it's always about Starfleet missions.

"Starfleet requested us to deviate slightly from our planned route," the captain announces one day to his team in the meeting room. "The Fibonian Republic, with which the Federation has recently made contact, is seeking peace with the planet Teenax. Fibonians are a peaceful people by nature. The conflict was born from a cultural misunderstanding. They find the whole situation absurd and wish to send their enemies a symbol of peace to help with negotiations. Whatever happened, we're still the right team to call for that kind of mission."

No one in the room says out loud what they think to themselves. Their last diplomatic mission could not have gone worse. But, in their three years of explorations, they have built a reputation for themselves as diplomats. Now it's time for them to contribute again to making the galaxy a better place. Captain Kirk smiles slightly.

"I've talked with command. They've double and triple-checked their intel. I've never seen a file this big for a mission this small. The risk is minimal, and the Fibonian is trustworthy. Read the file. The Teenaxi seem quite fierce and quarrelsome, but peace is within reach. After that, we'll take a brief break at the Yorktown base to resupply. I'll let the crew know their families can meet them there for a few days. Now, let's begin our preparations."

The team dedicates the rest of the meeting to studying the file and deciding how best to approach the Teenaxi. Eventually, everyone gets up.

"You four, stay here."

Pavel realizes it means Sulu, Uhura, Spock, and him. It's easy to guess why. The captain waits for everyone else to have left to talk. His head rests in his hands. When they're alone, he rubs his temples and sighs.

"I imagine you'll be pleased to know that Starfleet has requested me to authenticate an unreleased recording of Kodos' voice and another one from a man who they suspect to be Kodos' new identity."

Pavel opens his mouth, unsure of what he wants to say. The captain's hand rises. He frowns, not looking at any of them.

"Don't interrupt me. I've authenticated the voice, as have three other people. Anton Karidian, as he calls himself, should have been arrested by now. They will announce his trial date shortly.

"Captain...," Spock begins

He stops there. The captain glares at him.

"I told you not to interrupt me. There will be a trial. I don't care about that. Tarsus happened, the end of the story. What you have done... No. We won't talk about it. You can go."

He lets his head fall back into his hands. Pavel leaves, his head bowed in shame. Once outside, he notices the tears in Uhura's eyes. Sulu's livid. They're barely outside the door when Doctor McCoy comes to them.

"You'd better be at your posts when Jim comes out," he threatens before he joins Jim Kirk inside the meeting room.

They're left alone with their doubts and regrets. Everyone wants to go back inside, but they can't. Ambassador Spock has warned them Jim would be angry, but they didn't listen and now it's too late, far too late. Pavel feels like a traitor.