Disclaimer: I do not own KKM or any of its characters
"In many societies, people born out of wedlock did not have the same rights of inheritance as those within it, and in some societies, even the same civil rights. In the UK and USA, as late as the 1960s and in certain social strata even up to today, extramarital birth has carried a social stigma. In previous centuries unwed mothers were forced by social pressure to give their children up for adoption. Fathers of illegitimate children often did not incur comparable censure or legal responsibility, due to social attitudes about sex, the nature of sexual reproduction, and the difficultly of determining paternity with certainty." (Wikipedia)
I don't believe this kind of societal pressure applies in the KKM Universe as such, but a little creative licence is required here. :)
This chapter was updated and reviewed in January 2021.
Please enjoy!
Chapter five: Three's a Crowd
Abby Caz stormed through the castle like a malicious thunderstorm. The servants hurriedly stepped out of her way as she approached, striding along as fast as her heavy skirts would allow. That damn brat! How dare he? Abby seethed as she marched to her rooms. Wolfram was supposed to be dead! The dead did not come back to life to reclaim their ex-fiancé and ruin everything. Abby ground her teeth as she remembered how rudely she had been dismissed from Yuri's presence. Who knew what poison that brat was pouring into her fiancé's ear at this very moment?
As far as Abby was concerned it was no coincidence that Wolfram had miraculously appeared after his supposed death mere days after Yuri had proposed to her. There was no possible explanation other than he'd returned to steal Yuri from her. While she may command Yuri's loyalty because of the child in her belly, Wolfram still had a hold over Yuri's heart. He might even force Yuri into dissolving his engagement to her. The thought made Abby's blood run cold and her heart pound in her chest with fear. She had not spoken of her pregnancy to her family but she was painfully aware that if they found out they would turn her out without a second's hesitation. Proper well born ladies did not get pregnant outside of marriage.
Abby flung open the door to her rooms dramatically and flounced into the room in a swirl of silk. She had been offered a life she had never even dreamed of and now it was all going to be taken from her! Abby leaned against a wall and pressed a hand to her belly. She'd been so excited when she learned of the secret within her but now she was afraid of it. The dishonour of being thrown aside by the Maoh while pregnant with his child would be too much to bear.
"What's wrong, My Lady?" Abby jumped slightly and turned to see her handmaiden standing behind her. Abby had forgotten she would be here, turning down the bed and clearing out the ashes from the fire grate. As usual Sophia looked impeccable in her pale grey dress with her steel grey hair tied back in a strict bun. Sophia was a no nonsense sort of woman with a stern face and strict manner. And if she was a little on the plump side then no one would dare say so; at least not to her face.
"Oh Sophia, it's terrible just terrible!" Abby wailed and collapsed onto her bed burying her face into her hands. Sophia sighed and walked over to her mistress. She had been looking after Abby since the girl was five years old and she had witnessed many a tantrum.
"What is so terrible child?" Sophia soothed as if talking to a wild animal that may bolt at any moment. Abby whimpered and shook her head. Sophia pulled a cotton handkerchief from her sleeve and wiped away Abby's tears. "Now child, this is no way for a Lady to behave. Pull yourself together and stop your snivelling."
"I'm going to lose Yuri, Sophia! He's going to renounce his engagement to me and throw me away! I shall be forced to live on the streets like some common beggar with a child on my lap!" Abby wailed clutching the handkerchief so tightly it almost ripped in half.
"Don't be so dramatic child. Start from the beginning and tell me what's going on." Sophia frowned. She was well aware of Abby's pregnancy and she had been the one to talk Abby into telling the Maoh. Sophia knew everything about her young charge and there was no doubt in her heart that the babe Abby carried was the child of the King. Sophia had berated the girl for so foolishly allowing herself to be taken to a man's bed before her wedding night, however. Abby was lucky that the Maoh was but a boy and he would be easily swayed by Abby's plight. It was the Royal advisors who could have proven difficult to convince. If they wanted proof of the child's parentage things could become complicated. They may have succeeded in talking the boy King out of marriage. Fortunately the Maoh's kind heart worked to their favour and the Maoh had proposed. It would appear all what not smooth sailing however.
"Yuri's ex-fiancé, that Wolfram Von Bielefeld, returned to the castle this morning!" Abby's gaze become heated and angry. "He had me dismissed like some common servant while he and Yuri went off to talk in private." Abby dashed away her tears and blew her nose. "Oh Sophia, what can I do? I fear Yuri's heart will be pulled away from me."
"What do you do? You make damn sure the Maoh doesn't turn his heart away from you, that's what you do!" Sophia exclaimed.
"But how?" Abby asked gazing imploringly at her handmaiden. "Please tell me Sophia, I'll do anything to keep my love."
"Now listen to me young Lady and listen well. The Maoh is not going to leave you for Lord Bielefeld and this is how you'll make sure of it."
:-:
"Such a terrible thing," Conrad said quietly. Casper nodded his face grim. He had just finished recounting the story of how he'd found and rescued Wolfram from the bandits all those weeks ago. To Casper it felt like a lifetime had passed since he found that filthy beaten boy in the bandits' hideout. But now he was standing in a small study with two of the most powerful men in the whole Mazoku Kingdoms. The birds were signing and sunlight was falling in through the half open window filling the room with a warm golden light. Dust motes drifted lazily through the air and danced in the sunbeams. It all seemed out-of-place for such a serious conversation.
"You had no idea that the boy you met was Wolfram?" Gwendal asked his face tight. Both brothers had listened without interrupting as Casper recounted his story but Casper had watched their faces darken as he described Wolfram's many injuries. He felt very relieved that the brothers weren't angry with him as he had a feeling they would be dangerous enemies.
"No My Lord, I had never met Wolfram – I mean Lord Bielefeld – or any of the royal court before. My father kept me on the farm most of the time and I had never travelled outside of the nearest town before I left for Big Shimaron."
"You were extremely brave Casper Falken. We owe you our brother's life." Conrad smiled at Casper.
"I could not have left Lord Bielefeld in the hands of those monsters. My heart wouldn't have let me." Casper smiled, slightly embarrassed by Conrad's gratitude. "I don't really consider what I did to have been brave."
"There are plenty of men in the world who would have left Wolfram to fend for himself and tried to escape on their own." Gwendal grunted, "Especially if they did not know of Wolfram's title at the time."
"Then those people are not real men," Casper said firmly making Conrad smile and even Gwendal's lips twitched upwards.
"It seems fate has dealt Wolfram a cruel hand to rescue him from that place only to take away his memories of home then return them when it was too late." Conrad sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair. He looked tired, as if he had been up all night worrying. Casper felt a rush of sympathy for him but Conrad's comment forced a question to the front of his mind.
"May I assume you are referring to the Maoh's new fiancée?" Casper ventured carefully. These were the Maoh's advisors after all and if Casper were to let his true anger towards the Maoh for his disrespect to Wolfram show, they might not appreciate it.
"Yes," Conrad answered giving Casper a soul-piercing look. Casper felt his face flush slightly under that intense gaze. He had a horrible feeling Conrad knew exactly how he felt about Wolfram and the conflicting feeling of jealousy he felt towards the Maoh. Casper forced his feelings down. He was not Wolfram's lover and he had no right to be jealous of the one who so firmly held Wolfram's heart. He had no right to be angry that the same person had so thoroughly crushed that precious heart.
"Who is the girl?" Casper asked, curious in spite of himself. Conrad sighed heavily as if the question carried some great burden.
"I'll leave it to you to explain Weller," Gwendal grunted, "I have things I must see to." With that Gwendal swept away without a second glance. Casper was thrown momentarily by the Lord's sudden departure so missed what Conrad had just said to him.
"I'm sorry Lord Weller, could you repeat that?"
"Please Casper, call me Conrad. There is no need to stand on ceremony." Conrad smiled gently at Casper. Casper smiled back relaxing in this man's company. He had heard that Conrad was a highly skilled warrior and the sword he carried was not for decoration. Under Conrad's calm and friendly exterior Casper could sense his power. It frightened him slightly to sense all that strength held so firmly in check under an iron clad will. "In answer to your question, the young Lady in question is called Abby Caz. She is the youngest child and only daughter of a wealthy merchant and her mother is my mother's cousin."
"I see…" Casper said thoughtfully. This Abby was connected by blood to previous Maoh. That made her a very suitable person for marriage to the current Maoh.
"Abby and my uncle Stoffel have always been close as Abby's parents don't care much for their daughter. I believe she's lived a life where no one has given her a second glance or a moment's thought." Conrad sighed again. Casper looked away as he turned this new information over in his mind. He felt a brief spark of sympathy for the girl but he could not dismiss the way she had looked at Wolfram when they'd first met. In her eyes had been hostility and anger. The way Abby had stood beside the King spoke of a possessiveness that could easily become dangerous. Wolfram's life had just been turned upside down; couldn't she have shown a little compassion?
"I know this may well be none of my business, and if I'm speaking out of turn please say so, but how did the Maoh and Miss Caz meet? Their engagement seems to be happening rather fast." Casper returned his gaze to Conrad's intelligent hazel eyes. Conrad appeared to be sizing him up as if he was wondering how much to say. Casper shifted in place, feeling as if he'd done something wrong. Conrad must have reached a decision as he drew a breath to speak.
"It was six weeks ago when they first met. Stoffel brought Abby to the castle with him and introduced her to Yuri. They did seem to hit it off right away and often went riding together or would just sit and hold long conversations together. I admit that I was happy at first, after all Yuri had become very depressed after Wolfram went missing. I don't think he ever forgave himself for leaving Wolfram." A pained look crossed Conrad's face and Casper got the feeling that Yuri wasn't the only one burdened with guilt over leaving Wolfram behind. "Abby seemed to, I don't know, wake him up. He was smiling again at least although I know he was still suffering from nightmares.
"Then one night Stoffel threw a party which he insisted was hosted here by Yuri. I knew something was wrong with Yuri's state of mind that night. It was too soon for Yuri to be swamped with so many people. I should have done something." Conrad shook his head, clearly angry with himself. "He was drinking too much. He displayed apathy towards everything." Conrad sighed again. "Abby sat with Yuri and they started talking. By now people were talking and rumours were flying about them but I took comfort in the fact that they were all false. I left the hall for only a moment but when I returned Yuri and Abby were gone. I had my suspicions about what happened that night but it wasn't until a few days ago it was confirmed."
"She's pregnant isn't she?" Casper guessed with a heavy heart.
"I'm afraid so…" Conrad paused, "This is not common knowledge so I would appreciate it if you kept this information to yourself."
"You have my word Lord – Conrad." Casper quickly corrected himself making Conrad smile in amusement. "So the Maoh is marrying Lady Caz for the sake of the child?"
"It is law that for noble or high born families children born outside of marriage cannot inherit their parents' wealth or position in society." Conrad answered.
"Oh, I wasn't aware of that rule. Why is that?" Casper asked in confusion. Conrad leaned back and paused to gather his thoughts.
"Many years ago, when Shinou still ruled, a noble born man had two sons born nine months apart. His first born was born to his mistress and his second to his wife. Forty or so years later the father died very suddenly in a horse riding accident. The second son claimed he was his father's true heir as his mother had been their father's legal wife and moved to take over his father's wealth and lands. The first son argued that he was the true heir as he was the older son and inheritance falls to the oldest.
"The battle as to who was the rightful heir pretty soon expanded to include other wealthy families. The father was a wool merchant and he controlled many miles of very fertile land where he kept his sheep. The land was highly valuable and his wool was considered the softest and best quality in the Kingdom. There were many people who wanted to get their hands on that land and were willing to put their weight behind whichever son who would help them achieve that goal. Before long assassins were being sent after one son or the other, even after their friends and family, in an attempt to gain the upper hand. But neither son backed down nor renounced his claim.
"In the end, Shinou was forced to step in before the land erupted into a civil war. He made it the law that illegitimate children could not inherit their father's wealth, land, titles or possessions. It was the only way he could stop the conflict and prevent it from happening again with another family."
"I see, so unless The Maoh marries Lady Caz before the birth his son or daughter won't be able to inherit his wealth." Casper nodded as he absorbed this new information.
"It's more complicated than that." Conrad continued. "Because of the law it quickly became dishonourable for a noble to have a bastard child. If the child could not inherit then the child was 'worthless' in a sense. The children themselves were viewed with disdain as no matter how high their birth, they would never own anything from their parents. They couldn't even take their parents' names when they reached sixteen. It reflected badly on the family if their son or daughter had an illegitimate child as noble born children were expected to curb their urges. Stricter families have disowned their daughters, and sometimes their sons, if they became pregnant or fathered a child outside of marriage. As a result, some of the mothers died in childbirth and sometimes the baby would die as well."
"Harsh," Casper shuddered. His own parents had been married for several years before he was born. Not that they would have been considered to be 'noble born' regardless.
"Not many families view illegitimate children quite so harshly these days but the prejudice is still there and of course the law applies. If Yuri's child is born before Yuri and Abby marry then the child will be entitled to nothing."
"Couldn't the Maoh look after Lady Caz, even if he doesn't marry her?" Casper asked in confusion. "The child could still be raised here in the castle right? Maybe the Maoh could formally adopt the child to entitle the child to his name?"
"Yes," Conrad answered simply. "But it would be very embarrassing for Yuri to have a bastard child and not marry their mother. He is the Maoh after all; he should be setting an example to his people."
"Won't the people guess that Lady Caz was with child before she married the Maoh? They're not marrying for another three months yet. The child must be born pretty soon afterwards." Casper didn't know why he was poking holes in Conrad's reasoning. While he strongly believed that children required two parents, marrying someone simply because they carried your child seemed somewhat false. Surely love should come into it somewhere?
"The people will most likely guess, certainly, but hopefully the general view will be that Yuri did the honest thing by marrying Abby. As for Yuri adopting the baby; Abby would still suffer the consequences of being pregnant outside of marriage and the child would still be labelled a bastard." Conrad shook his head sadly, "people can be very cruel." Casper nodded in agreement but said nothing. He wondered what life the baby was going to lead. Maybe the Maoh did love Lady Caz deeply and by extension loved the baby inside her. But what if he didn't love her? Would he still love her child? No child should be unwanted.
And what about Wolfram, where did all this leave him? If the Maoh had to marry Lady Caz then there was no hope of him getting back together with Wolfram. Casper understood that Wolfram loved the Maoh but would he try to get between the Maoh and Lady Caz in an attempt to reclaim his now ex-fiancé? Casper quickly dismissed the idea as nonsense. Wolfram was a prideful person and Casper doubted that he would fall to such underhanded tactics. But losing the man he loved for another would hurt. They had been torn apart and it seemed what was broken could not be mended.
"Lord Bielefeld needs to be told about this." Casper said softly. "I gave you my word I would not tell anyone, and I intend to keep it, but may I make an exception in Lord Bielefeld's case?"
"Of course, I had planned to tell him myself if Yuri didn't." Conrad paused and glanced out of the window as if he had momentarily forgotten that Wolfram and Yuri were holding a private conversation.
"I should go and make sure Lord Bielefeld's ok." Casper glanced at the door. He didn't know if the two had finished talking yet, but he guessed Wolfram could do with a shoulder to lean on right now.
"Casper…" Conrad paused, his face thoughtful. Casper waited and tried not to fidget under the intense gaze. For some reason he was feeling suddenly nervous. "Thank you for being there for Wolfram. He needs someone like you to be there for him."
"Oh," Casper felt his face flush. "It's no problem at all."
"Wolfram has a hard time letting people in and an even harder time opening his heart." Conrad continued as if Casper hadn't spoken. "But I know you'll be good to him." Casper felt the flush spread to his neck as he tried to think of a way to respond to that.
"I'm not sure what you mean My Lord," Casper said slowly. In his fluster he forgot Conrad had asked him to call him by his first name.
"If Wolfram is to get over Yuri and move on he's going to need something, or someone, to help him. I think you may be that person, Casper." Conrad smiled and before Casper had time to draw breath, he stepped forward and hugged him. Casper froze in stunned shock. But the hug was brief and Conrad was stepping back before Casper could even raise his arms.
"Um…" Casper stuttered trying to think of something to say. Conrad just grinned and patted Casper on the shoulder before walking past him and out the door. Casper stood for a few moments in the quiet gathering his scattered thoughts. Had one of Wolfram's brothers just given him permission to pursue a relationship with Wolfram? Casper went over to the nearest chair and sat down heavily. One thing was for certain: Conrad was a scarily intuitive.
:-:
Abby stood outside Yuri's bedroom door and collected her thoughts. She and Sophia had had a long talk and now Abby felt marginally confident that she could convince Yuri to stay with her. All she had to do was follow what Sophia had told her and everything would go fine. Sophia was a wise old woman who knew how men thought. If she said this would work on Yuri then she couldn't be wrong.
Abby took a deep breath, smoothed down the bodice of her green dress and patted her hair to make sure it was still in place. Satisfied that she looked as good as she could, Abby raised her hand and knocked loudly. She waited, counting each breath in and out of her body to keep her breathing calm and even. Nothing was more unattractive than a woman gasping for breath like a beached fish. Abby frowned when no response was forthcoming. The maids had told her that Yuri was in his room. Abby knocked again, harder this time. There was still no response so Abby tried the door. It opened under her touch and Abby peered around the door.
The curtains were open and sunlight poured into the room like molten gold. A quick glance showed Abby that the room was empty and she was about to go find the maids and tell them off for sending her on a wild goose chase, when she heard the bed creak. Abby glanced back at the four poster bed and noticed that the covers were in a large pile in the middle of the bed. There was a lump inside the covers that looked vaguely person-shaped. Abby stared for a moment before sighing heavily and walking into the room, shutting the door behind her. The lump wriggled but didn't say anything as Abby crossed the room and sat down on the bed.
"Yuri, Yuri is that you in there?" Abby asked gently. There was a vague noise from within the depths of the blankets that Abby took to be an affirmative. "What are you doing under there, my love?" There was no response so Abby reached out and gently pulled back the blankets to reveal her fiancé. Yuri was lying on his side staring blankly ahead. "Yuri…?" Abby questioned softly. Yuri sighed heavily and pushed himself up onto his knees, his movements sluggish as if a great weight rested on his shoulders.
"What have I done?" Yuri whispered hoarsely.
"I'm not sure what you are referring to my love." Abby lied as she reached out and ran her fingers through Yuri's jet black locks. Yuri pulled his head away from her touch and Abby felt a sharp stab of rejection.
"Don't call me 'my love' it makes me feel uncomfortable." Yuri grumbled but there was no real bite to his words.
"But you are my love. I love you, Yuri." Abby said softly and reached out to take Yuri's hand. This time Yuri did not pull away.
"Well, you're the only person who does!" Yuri exclaimed bitterly. "And I only have myself to blame for it."
"Yuri, listen to me." Abby commanded gently but firmly. Yuri stared at the mattress and refused to meet her eyes so Abby placed a hand under his chin and turned his face towards hers. "Listen to me; you have done nothing wrong."
"I betrayed him Abby," Yuri gasped out trying to turn his face away.
"No you did not," Abby tightened her grip forcing Yuri to meet her eyes. "Your engagement to Lord Bielefeld was annulled. You had every right to embrace me."
"I just left him there, how could I leave him like that?" Yuri whispered ignoring Abby. "He suffered, so terribly for me, and I left him there!" Yuri ripped his face from Abby's grip and buried his face in his hands. Abby paused to consider her next words as Yuri shuddered and gasped.
"I have no doubt in my heart that if you'd known Lord Bielefeld was alive you would have done everything in your power to save him. But it was the opinion of your advisors, of Lord Bielefeld's own brothers, that he was dead. Considering their knowledge and wisdom you can't be blamed for believing their words." Abby ran her fingers through Yuri's hair again. "If there was even the smallest chance Lord Bielefeld was alive, do you not think his own family would have been the first to take that chance?"
"But Wolf was alive," Yuri spoke from behind his hands. "He was alive and I didn't save him! After everything he's done for me I couldn't protect him! He was being tortured because of me." Yuri shook his head fiercely. "What kind of King am I? If I can't protect those I care about then how can I protect anyone else?" Yuri's voice was thick with self-loathing.
"Bullshit," Abby said making Yuri jump. Yuri glanced up at her in surprise.
"What?"
"Who was the one chosen by the first King himself to be the next Maoh?" Abby asked her gaze bright and determined.
"Well, me, but –"
"Who was it who collected the four boxes?"
"Me but –"
"Who was it that defeated Soushu and set the spirit of the first King free?" Abby demanded. Yuri shook his head.
"It wasn't all me –"
"Who has been bringing human and Mazoku together under the banner of friendship and equality for the first time in our history?"
"If you would let me talk –"
"Who has been a staunch defender of peace no matter what? Who has been constantly defending the people of this country against evil? Who has been selflessly putting himself in harm's way if it means protecting others from personal pain? Whose power is it that keeps us safe?" Yuri said nothing. Abby took a breath and leaned forward squeezing Yuri's hand between her two. "You, my love, it has always been you. The same man who I am going to marry and whose child now grows inside me." Abby took Yuri's hand and placed it against her belly. Yuri's gaze fell to her stomach.
"I don't think I'm ready to be a father, let alone a husband." Yuri said haltingly. His gaze was still fixed on Abby's belly and he made no move to remove his hand.
"I don't think anyone ever is," Abby smiled. "But our baby is going to be born in less than eight months whether we're ready for him or not."
"Him…?" Yuri echoed, finally raising his gaze to Abby's face.
"Well, I don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl. We won't know until they arrive I'm afraid." Abby grinned but Yuri did not smile back. He retrieved his hand and Abby mourned the loss.
"It doesn't change the fact that I left Wolfram in the hands of those evil men and it doesn't change the fact that he suffered terribly because of it. I shall never forgive myself for that." Yuri spoke with such passion that Abby felt jealousy rise in her breast. She pushed it away through sheer force of will and took several deep breaths.
"Lord Bielefeld may have been your fiancé but first and foremost he was a soldier, sworn to serve and protect you. Would you feel this way about any soldier who put themselves in harm's way to protect you?"
"That's not the point. Wolfram wasn't just a soldier, he was my friend. I should never have given up on him so easily. He wouldn't have if it had been me." Yuri grimaced as if his own words opened wounds on his heart that no one else could see. Abby swallowed her frustration.
"What will your self-hatred and self-loathing for the rest of eternity change? Will it heal Lord Bielefeld's scars or change the past?"
"….Perhaps not, but it's what I deserve." Yuri said quietly.
"Is it? Lord Bielefeld was performing his duty to you as an elite soldier of your army should. Your safety was more important than his life. You are a King; protecting you is a soldier's duty no matter their rank or birth. You are our leader and our ruler, you cannot be replaced." Abby glared at Yuri daring him to dispute her argument. Yuri gazed at her for several moments without saying anything.
"Wolfram is irreplaceable," Yuri said tightly, "all of my soldiers are irreplaceable to me. I am not going to start thinking of my people as objects that can be replaced when broken."
"Of course not, I was just saying that in the grand scheme of things we need you alive and in one piece." Abby said hurriedly, smoothing Yuri's ruffled feathers. "Lord Bielefeld's sacrifice was very noble and brave." Yuri grunted and looked away. There was a long silence that quickly became awkward.
"Do you want to marry me?" Yuri asked suddenly breaking the silence. Abby gave a start of surprise and glanced at Yuri in shock.
"I'm sorry?"
"Do you want to marry me?" Yuri repeated meeting Abby's shocked gaze with one that was remarkably clear and focussed.
"Of course I want to marry you, I love you." Abby replied in surprise. "I thought you knew that."
"Had you not been pregnant I wouldn't be marrying you," Yuri said bluntly. Abby flinched. "I am marrying you because otherwise your child would live a life of discrimination and prejudice. I wouldn't force that life onto a child if I could prevent it."
"Our child Yuri, this is our child, our son or daughter." Abby pressed her hand to her stomach and stared into Yuri's black eyes. "You put this child inside me and I want him or her to grow up knowing your love. I want you to be there the day they come into this world and to hold them in your arms. I want them to grow up to be just like you."
"No, not like me," Yuri shook his head his mouth a tight line. "I don't want them to be like me."
"You are one of the kindest, most thoughtful and most gentle people I know. Our child would be lucky indeed to be like you."
"Oh yes, very kind and thoughtful, so much so I left my best friend to be tortured and beaten while I was fucking you." Yuri snapped. Abby recoiled in shock and horror at Yuri's words. Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly turned away so Yuri would not see them. "God…I'm so sorry Abby." Yuri's voice was choked with emotion. "I'm sorry, that was completely uncalled for. I just can't seem to get anything right today."
"There is no need to apologise Yuri," Abby licked her lips as her voice trembled. "I think, I think I should leave you now." Abby stood up to leave. Her hands shook so she clenched them into fists. "Please excuse me."
"Wait Abby please wait." Yuri jumped off the bed and wrapped his arms around Abby's middle. His chest was pressed to her back and she could feel his heart thumping. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm just upset about Wolfram. I had convinced myself I would never see him again, that he died for me, and that the best way to honour him was to live and make him proud. But then I find out that he was in desperate need of saving and because I wasn't there for him, some other guy had to save him instead. I failed him, Abby, I failed him completely. You have no idea how much that hurts."
Abby said nothing, what could she say to that? It was clear his guilt held a powerful sway over his heart. Wolfram could so easily tap into that guilt, twist it, and turn Yuri to him in return for forgiveness. Yuri may marry her, but his heart would never be hers if Yuri retained any feelings for Wolfram. Abby didn't just want Yuri's loyalty. She wanted all of his love as well. What was the point in being married to someone unless they belonged entirely to you, body and soul? What was the point of holding them at night when they dreamed of another?
"I know I am going to marry you Abby." Yuri said softly. His breath tickled Abby's ear and ghosted over her cheek. "I know I'm not ready but you were right earlier. The baby will come regardless and he or she should be born into a family. All I can promise you is that I will try to be a good husband and father."
"Do you love me?" Abby breathed. Sophia had told her not to ask such a question. She shouldn't force an answer from Yuri in case the response was something she didn't want to hear. If Yuri were to think too hard about the question, he might well decide he didn't love her and call off their engagement. But Abby had to know, she had to know if there was any love in Yuri's heart for her.
Yuri sucked in a breath but didn't answer. His silence told Abby everything she needed to know. Forcing a smile Abby turned in Yuri's embrace and faced him. Yuri's eyes were haunted and he seemed to have aged in the last few minutes. Abby gently framed his face in her hands and kissed him on the lips. The contact sent thrills of desire down Abby's spine, turning her knees to water while setting her blood on fire. Yuri returned the kiss but there was hesitation, uncertainty and reluctance in the contact. Abby pretended she hadn't noticed and pulled back from Yuri's lips.
"I must take my leave now Yuri. No, don't speak," Abby cut in as Yuri opened his mouth. She placed a finger against his lips and Yuri closed his mouth slowly his eyes gazing into her own. "I understand your feelings but I think you are being too hard on yourself. You couldn't have known about Lord Bielefeld's condition and finding comfort in the arms of another is no crime. Why Lord Bielefeld's own mother took no less than three husbands." Abby smiled and pecked Yuri's lips gently. "Your baby will be born less than eight months from now. Focus on that, my love, for we can write our future but we can't erase our past."
Abby released Yuri and walked away. The black haired king did not stop her or call her back as she left his room, shutting the door behind her. Abby leaned back against the wooden door for a moment as jealously raged like a wild fire inside her. So this was that brat's plan! He must have grown bored waiting for Yuri to make an advance so he faked his own death to leave him free to pursue another without bringing dishonour to his name. But he just couldn't leave Yuri alone could he? He couldn't allow Yuri to be happy with another so he comes charging back to steal Yuri's heart for himself.
Abby gritted her teeth and balled her hands into fists. Oh yes, Wolfram had it all figured out didn't he? Come crawling back with some cock-and-bull story about being kidnapped and tortured to lay on the guilt, and ensure that kind hearted Yuri would be eating out of the palm of his hand. What about that other boy Wolfram had returned with? He was a good looking man and he'd seemed close to Wolfram. Abby nearly laughed out loud. Did Wolfram really have the gall to return to Yuri's side bringing his little lover along with him? Perhaps, maybe this could be used to her advantage. Maybe she could exploit any jealousy Yuri must be feeling towards that violet eyed boy-toy of Wolfram's. Abby grinned as she straightened up and smoothed down her skirts. She would use that boy to drive a wedge of mistrust and jealousy between Yuri and Wolfram. A little meddling here and there would drive Wolfram and his piece of ass away from the castle and back to the brothel they came from!
:-:
Wolfram lay in the dark staring up at the ceiling. Casper had been round three times but Wolfram had refused to let him into his room. He knew he was being unfair but right now he just wanted to be alone. He wasn't sure what time it was, the sky outside was dark and it had started raining. The last time Casper came round he'd brought Conrad with him as back-up to try and get Wolfram to eat some dinner. But he wasn't hungry so he had ignored them until they went away.
He hadn't cried. Wolfram felt too tired and drained to cry anymore. He just wanted to be alone with his thoughts while he processed all that had happened to him. There was a terrible pain in his chest, as if he was holding his breath. Wolfram rolled onto his side and slowly pushed himself up. He walked barefoot to the window and gazed out into the night. The thick rain clouds covered any sign of the moon or stars and the wind had started to pick up, moaning around the window like a particularly depressed ghost. It all suited Wolfram's mood perfectly.
Wolfram closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cold glass. His breath fogged against the glass as he breathed. This was his old room, the one he slept in before Yuri came along and turned his whole life upside down. Never before had anyone shaken his beliefs to the very core while laying waste to his defences with so little effort. All those things Wolfram had taken for granted suddenly became so important to him. But soon enough the most important thing in Wolfram's life became gaining Yuri's respect. While he'd wanted Yuri's love he'd craved his respect above all else.
Wolfram opened his eyes and gazed out into the rain soaked night. Their first few years together had been fraught and tense at the best of times but something had been changing between them. Yuri used to make great effort to run away from him but more recently he seemed to be welcoming his presence more readily. Wolfram had even dared to start hoping that Yuri's heart was opening to him. But…it was almost as if a wall still separated them. Something had been holding both of them back but Wolfram didn't know what. Of course, it hardly mattered now did it?
Wolfram sighed and stepped back from the window. Yuri was getting married. He was going to be a father. Wolfram didn't want to deny Yuri love nor children, but he couldn't help but wonder why his love and the children he could give Yuri were somehow not good enough. He vaguely recognised the girl Yuri was to marry. She was a second cousin or something? The one thing he knew for certain was that she didn't like him. She'd made that clear when they met. The way she had stood beside Yuri, so possessive, had reminded Wolfram of his own possessive nature. Seeing her in the same light as others must have seen him, had given Wolfram a sudden new perspective. It wasn't one that he found at all comforting.
A knock at the door brought Wolfram out of his musings. He glanced at the door in mild surprise but made no move to answer it. "Wolfram, are you still awake?" Casper's voice was muffled but Wolfram could still hear his concern. "I know you may not want to talk right now, but…I just want to know you're ok." Casper sounded really worried. Wolfram felt a short stab of guilt for ignoring him for so long. Wolfram strode across the room to unlock and open his door before he could talk himself out of it. Casper stood outside holding a candlestick with two burning candles. The flickering light threw dancing shadows across his face making it hard to read his expression.
"Hey," Wolfram said softly.
"Hi," Casper replied equally softly.
"Do you want to come in?" Wolfram asked stepping back. Casper nodded and stepped into the room.
"It's a bit dark in here," Casper mentioned lightly but his shoulders were tight.
"It helps me to think." Wolfram said simply. He took the burning candles from Casper and used them to light the clusters of candles dotted around his room. It seemed the maids had been keeping his room clean and ready to use despite his 'death'. Casper watched him silently as Wolfram walked around his room. Wolfram could feel his gaze boring into his back as if Casper was trying to see inside his soul. Wolfram shivered slightly making the candle flames gutter.
"Your brother, Conrad, filled me in on what's going on." Casper said gently. Wolfram froze his heart thumping.
"He told you that Yu – His Majesty is going to be a father?" Wolfram praised himself when his voice came out even and slightly disinterested.
"Yes," Casper said simply. "He also mentioned that Lady Abby Caz, the Maoh's fiancée, is related to your mother."Wolfram thought for a moment then remembered that his mother's cousin was married to a merchant called Caz. Wolfram never really concerned himself with people outside of his immediate family.
"Oh, I didn't know her name." Wolfram lit the last candle and put the candle stick he had taken from Casper down on the table. He walked to the large picture window and reached out to pull the curtains shut. The rain was still falling and the wind still moaning.
"I'm sorry," Casper said carefully as if he wasn't sure what reception his words would receive.
"What do you have to be sorry for?" Wolfram asked, slightly sharper than he intended.
"I'm sorry you lost him." Suddenly Casper was standing right behind him. Wolfram jumped when he noticed, dropping the curtain. "I know you loved him and to lose the one you love is a terrible thing." Wolfram pressed his lips together to stop them from shaking.
"His Majesty's engagement to me was annulled. He was free to sleep with or marry or impregnate whoever he wished." Wolfram said sharply but a faint tremor gave away his inner turmoil. Wolfram cursed himself when he saw Casper's eyes narrow in concern. Casper was a very intuitive person. It was no wonder he could see through his mask of indifference.
"Just because he could, didn't mean he should have." Casper said firmly. "He might not have done anything legally wrong, but it was still morally wrong."
"He thought I was dead, and for all intents and purposes I was dead. If your fiancé is dead then there's no moral qualm about sharing your bed with another." Wolfram turned away from Casper's violet gaze. Casper had seen him beaten and bloody but this emotional pain was far more humiliating. If he allowed himself to believe Casper's words, if he believed that Yuri had done wrong, then he didn't think he could hold it together anymore. The pain in his chest was expanding, squeezing his chest in its icy grip and choking the air from his lungs.
"He could have waited," Casper said firmly. "I'm not suggesting he remained celibate for the rest of his life but to sleep with someone else so soon after your fiancé is declared dead just seems so….inappropriate."
"Inappropriate?" Wolfram laughed bitterly. "He's the Maoh he can do what he wants!"
"You know as well as I do that that's not true. If anything he has to be more careful about what he says or does than the rest of us. His actions reflect on the country and its people as a whole." Casper frowned, his brows pulling tight as he looked closely at Wolfram. "You can be upset about this you know. There's no shame in being hurt."
"What do I have to be hurt about? Why should I be hurt that Yuri never once in our four years together showed any interest in me yet he's happy to leap into bed with some girl he's only known for a few weeks? Should I be angry that no matter what I do I'll never be good enough for him?" Wolfram snarled at Casper, who had listened to all this while his face retained its carefully neutral expression
"There is no point yelling at me Wolfram, I haven't done anything." Casper's voice was soft and there was no anger in his expression but Wolfram still flinched. "And yes, you should be angry and hurt about this."
"You can't be serious," Wolfram said incredulously.
"I am completely serious. If you keep all that emotion bottled up inside you then you're only going to do yourself emotional damage. You're going to have to face up to what's happened and the sooner you do that the sooner you can recover from it."
"Don't tell me what to do!" Wolfram hissed his face flushing.
"I am simply giving you the benefit of my own experience and advice." Casper said simply.
"I can assure you Casper I have no need for your advice. You promised to deliver me safely to my home, which you have done. You are now free to leave." Wolfram swept his arm towards the door. "I hope you have a safe return journey." Casper didn't budge. His violet eyes narrowed, he crossed his arms over his chest and held Wolfram's gaze without flinching.
"Do you seriously expect me to just bugger off back home after your life has fallen down around your ears? Right now you're in worse shape than you were when I found you in the bandits' cave. I didn't leave you then and I'm sure as hell not leaving you now! I'm staying right here until I'm confident you're not going to have an emotional breakdown. So suck it up and get used to it!" Wolfram stared at Casper in shock. For some reason Casper's heated words melted the tight ball of pain inside Wolfram's chest. He didn't even realise he was crying until Casper gathered him up in his arms and hugged him tight.
Wolfram knew it was pathetic for him to lean on Casper this way. It was hardly expected for a member of the Ten Nobles and a military commander to break down into tears and desperately seek the comfort of a boy they barely knew. At that moment however, Wolfram found himself, for the first time in his long life, not giving a damn what other people thought. Being held in Casper's arms like this was a liberating feeling that lifted a weight off his shoulders that Wolfram hadn't even known was there.
Wolfram buried his face into the firm chest and closed his eyes. For a long time neither boy spoke. There were no words that needed to be said at this moment. Wolfram continued to cry silently, his face in Casper's chest and his arms dangling by his sides, while Casper simply held him. The embrace offered nothing but comfort, no strings attached or expectations for anything in return. Soon Wolfram's tears dried and he took several deep breathes. The pain in his chest was still there but it had eased remarkably. Wolfram no longer felt like he was suffocating in his own emotional turmoil.
"Ok Casper, you can let go now." Wolfram said and was surprised at how normal his voice sounded. Casper obviously thought so too, as he released him and stepped away with his smile back in place.
"Feel better?"
"Yes," Wolfram answered surprising himself. "I don't really know why but I do."
"You accepted what had happened to you instead of trying to deny it." Casper said gently and kindly. "Now you can start healing."
"When did you become so knowledgeable?" Wolfram muttered with some of his old fire. Casper smiled sadly.
"You are not the only one to have lost a person they loved to another."
"What happened?" Wolfram asked but Casper shook his head.
"That's a story for another time."
"Tease," Wolfram smiled and Casper laughed.
"I have to maintain some mystery about my life, otherwise I become deathly dull." Casper answered. Wolfram snorted and shook his head. He paused as his thoughts drifted back to Yuri once again. Sadness welled up inside him like an overflowing river but it no longer threatened to drown him in its frozen depths.
"What happens now?" Wolfram asked quietly. Casper's smiled faded and he reached out and placed a hand on Wolfram's shoulder. At that moment Wolfram looked small and uncertain making Casper want to lie to him to make everything easier. But he knew that lies wouldn't help, he had learned that lesson the hard way many years ago.
"That's for you to decide. You're not going to bounce back from this overnight. It will take time. You may find it easier to put some distance between yourself and the Maoh for the time being."
"What about Greta? I promised her I wouldn't leave again." Wolfram's face took on a pained expression, "And what about my family? I've only just gotten back to them."
"As I said it's your decision. Your family may well help you heal if you stay with them but I worry that seeing the Maoh and Lady Caz together will be too painful for you right now." Wolfram heard the echoes of Casper's past in that sentence and he gave his friend a sad smile.
"Maybe," Wolfram agreed. In truth the idea of seeing Yuri with Abby made his stomach twist in pain and jealousy. He didn't want to watch the happy couple getting ready for their wedding while he floated around like a lost ghost. He didn't want to keep putting on a cheerful face and pretending that nothing was wrong. He had done that for four years and it had brought him nothing but pain.
"If you want to leave, we could always go back to my father's stud." Casper offered. "I'm sure my father wouldn't mind if you wanted to stay. We could bring Greta with us if you want some time with her." Wolfram glanced at Casper in surprise. He hadn't expected Casper to offer to take Greta with them, not many young men wanted a little girl tagging along. Wolfram smiled in genuine affection for this boy who was tough enough to stand up to him and speak his mind, but also had such an open and loving heart.
"I need to think about it. But, thank you, Casper. I appreciate the offer." Wolfram smiled. Sensing this was an appropriate end to their late night conversation, Casper nodded with a smile.
"Very well, then I shall see you in the morning?" Casper arched an eyebrow in question.
"Yes you will," Wolfram answered with a smile.
"Goodnight then Wolfram," Casper hesitated then stepped back. Wolfram frowned, wondering what Casper had been about to do or say but the brunet's face gave nothing away.
"Goodnight Casper," Wolfram replied. Casper grabbed his candle stick and with a quick grin, left the room. Wolfram's bedroom seemed suddenly empty and cold without another body in it. Wolfram shook such thoughts away and walked over to his closest. There were several of his spare uniforms and nightgowns hanging inside and Wolfram selected a white nightgown with lace frills around the neck and cuffs. He left the pink one hanging up, it would remind him too much of Yuri.
It wasn't until Wolfram was drifting off to sleep that he noticed that it had stopped raining.
:-:
Wolfram sighed heavily as he was squashed against his mother's ample bosom for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. He had just finished recounting a slightly edited version of what he remembered of his adventures in Big Shimaron, with Casper filling in the blanks. He hadn't wanted to upset his mother any more than he had to. He couldn't really complain though, his mother's delight at seeing him alive and well was soothing the hurts of the previous day. Casper was watching all this with a grin and making no move to rescue Wolfram from his mother's exuberant embrace.
"Oh my Wolfram, my darling boy, it's so good to see you safe!" Cecile cried out as she covered her youngest son's face with kisses.
"Thank you mother," Wolfram smiled, unable to be grumpy in the face of his mother's teary delight. "Conrad told me you went searching for me in Big Shimaron; you really shouldn't have taken such a risk mother."
"Risk? What mother wouldn't risk everything for her children?" Cecile exclaimed. "I'm just sorry that I didn't find you sooner." Cecile's voice dropped and her face became sad as she cupped her son's face in her hands. "Oh my Wolfram, what did they do to you?"
"I'll be ok mother," Wolfram said gently reaching up to take his mother's hands in his own. "Casper took good care of me."
"Oh yes!" Cecile spun around to face Casper. "I had almost forgotten about you young man!" Before Casper could draw breath, Cecile leaped across the room and folded him into a hug. Wolfram sniggered as Casper blushed furiously but didn't dare try to extract himself from the hug for fear of causing offence. "You saved my darling boy and for that I shall be forever grateful." Cecile released Casper and planted a kiss on his cheek, leaving a red smear from her lipstick behind.
"It was the only decent thing to do My Lady." Casper answered, visibly trying to resist the urge to wipe the lipstick off his cheek. "I am just glad that Lord Bielefeld was reunited with his family at last."
"Oh you are such a wonderful young man!" Cecile cried out and hugged Casper again, much to Casper's obvious horror. "What a kind and handsome man my son has for a friend!" Cecile released Casper and spun to face Wolfram. "Now you must treat him well my son, men like this are one in a million!"
"My Lady, there really is no need to say such things." Casper's face was a delightful shade of red. While watching Casper squirm was hilarious, Wolfram felt sorry for him and decided to rescue him from his overbearing mother.
"Mother, you are embarrassing our guest."
"Oh I'm sorry Casper," Cecile smiled warmly. "I just thought I'd never see my little boy again and here he is before me. You saved my son from a terrible fate and I shall be eternally grateful. Name anything you desire and I shall grant it to you."
"My Lady I require nothing but the knowledge that Lord Bielefeld is with the people he loves." Casper was still blushing but he didn't look like he was about to pass out from sheer mortification anymore.
"That I can guarantee," Cecile gave Casper a knowing smile that had Casper fidgeting. Deciding to try to decode his mother's words at a later date, Wolfram took a moment to really look at her. She was thinner than he remembered and was it just his imagination or did she look older? Wolfram was certain those lines around her eyes hadn't been there before.
"Grandma, you're back!" Wolfram turned to see Greta run into the room and throw herself at Cecile for a hug. Cecile laughed and bent down to hug the little girl.
"Indeed I am sweetheart," Cecile kissed Greta's head. "The whole family has returned home and I couldn't be happier." Wolfram smiled at Greta but his mother's words sent a sharp jab of pain through his heart. How could he be thinking of leaving after everyone had just got him back? What would it do to his mother to lose him again so soon?
"Is everything ok?" Wolfram turned his head to smile at Casper who had moved closer to him while Greta and Cecile chatted away.
"I was just thinking how hard it's going to be for everyone if I up and leave after being gone for so long. Could I really put them through that?" Wolfram glanced back at his mother who was now chatting with Conrad.
"But this time everyone is going to know that you are safe." Casper pointed out with a smile. "You'll be able to keep in contact so it won't be like before when they had no idea where you were."
"I know, but, I still wonder." Wolfram sighed. "I don't think I can stay here though." Casper drew breath to answer when the door opened and Yuri walked into the room. Wolfram froze as his heart skipped a beat. Hard on Yuri's heels was his fiancée Abby, wearing a pale blue dress this time. Her blue eyes met Wolfram's green ones and they narrowed in contempt. Wolfram glared right back at her and didn't fail to notice the hand Abby had laid on Yuri's arm.
"Cecile, the guards told me you had returned. How are you?" Yuri smiled at Cecile, seemingly ignoring Wolfram's presence in the room.
"I am well thank you, Yuri." Cecile smiled, but Wolfram noticed she didn't throw herself at Yuri for a hug like she used to. Yuri must have noticed it too as he blushed and looked very awkward. "This must be the lovely Abby," Cecile swept forward and grasped Abby's hands in her own, "my you look just like your mother my dear."
"Thank you Lady Cecile." Abby curtsied elegantly.
"I can see what drew the Maoh's eye to you despite his loss." Cecile continued with a sharp gleam in her green eyes.
"What loss?" Abby asked in confusion.
"Why, the pain of Wolfram's alleged death of course! Naturally my Wolfram wasn't dead but none of us knew that at the time. You must be talented indeed to draw Yuri out of his perfectly natural mourning for his lost love and into your arms." Cecile smiled sweetly. Abby blushed furiously while Yuri looked mortified.
"Lady Cecile if you are suggesting –"
"I'm not suggesting anything my dear." Cecile interrupted smoothly. Wolfram watched this interaction in shocked amazement. He sometimes forgot that behind his mother's floosy outward appearance there was a skilled diplomat and cunning leader. Besides, Yuri's obvious discomfort gave Wolfram a sense of great satisfaction. "This whole situation is most unpleasant but these things tend to work out for the best in the end." There was a weight behind Cecile's words that made Wolfram pause. He had a feeling his mother was plotting something but what it was he couldn't begin to guess. If she was trying to get him and Yuri back together then she was fighting a lost cause.
"I'm sure everything that has happened was meant to happen." Abby said tightly with a forced smile. "I shall do my best to live up to the expectations of me."
"Oh I have no doubt about that my dear." Cecile smiled in a way that made Wolfram think of a wolf smiling at a cornered rabbit. The fact that his mother appeared to be angry about Yuri's new engagement on his behalf was endearing. Wolfram guessed that one of his brothers must have been keeping their mother up to date with all the latest developments. "Well, I don't know about anyone else but after all this excitement I've worked up quite the appetite." Cecile beamed.
"Lunch will be ready soon, mother. Shall we retire to the dining room for some refreshment?" Conrad stepped forward with a smile. Yuri jumped and glanced at Conrad in surprise as if he hadn't noticed him standing in the corner.
"Why don't you go on ahead Conrad, I would like a moment alone with Wolfram." Cecile pecked her second born son on the cheek.
"Of course mother," Conrad smiled. He caught Wolfram's eye and winked making Wolfram's lips twitch upwards. "Come on Greta; let's see if there are any appetizers going spare before lunch." Greta nodded and grabbed Conrad's outstretched hand. The two left the room chatting about their favourite food toppings. Yuri hesitated before leaving. His eyes were drawn to Wolfram as if by an invisible force. Wolfram met his gaze head on giving Yuri a haughty look. Yuri grimaced and turned and left the room with his shoulders hunched as if Wolfram was throwing projectiles at him. Abby turned and swept out of the room after Yuri without giving anyone else a second glance.
"Will you be alright with that lot?" Wolfram asked Casper as he started to leave. Casper glanced over his shoulder and grinned.
"Me? I've taken on a whole horde of bandits single-handed. I think I can manage a lunch party surrounded by people who want me dead." Casper winked and Wolfram laughed. Wolfram watched fondly as Casper left the room shutting the door behind him. A brief silence fell before Cecile walked up to her youngest son and pulled him into her arms once more. This time she didn't squash her son against her bosom and when she pulled back she pressed a gentle motherly kiss to his brow.
"My son, it seems fate has set you on a path I never thought I would see you go down."
"What do you mean, mother?" Wolfram asked with a frown.
"You've always been so dedicated to Yuri. I always hoped he would show that same dedication back and give you the love you deserve." Cecile sighed sadly. Wolfram felt his face grow hot in a mixture of embarrassment and pain.
"Yuri has chosen another. I need to let him go." Wolfram swallowed hard around the lump in his throat.
"Yes, yes you do. But don't for a moment think that it means you have to live your life alone." Cecile grasped her son's hands in her own and squeezed gently. "You are a wonderful person Wolfram and you deserve love just like everyone else."
"He was the only one," Wolfram smiled bitterly, "figures that the only one I wanted was the same one who didn't want me."
"Is Yuri really the only person you love?" Cecile asked staring deep into her son's eyes.
"What do you mean? I've loved him for four years."
"But isn't there someone new in your life?" Cecile pressed. Wolfram's thoughts went straight to Casper and he blushed. Cecile smiled as if that was all the confirmation she needed. "Don't live a life of misery Wolfram. You deserve better than that."
"I can't just forget about Yuri because he's found someone else." Wolfram looked away from his mother's kind eyes. "I can't have a relationship with anyone just yet. I need….I need time."
"Of course you do," Cecile released Wolfram's hands and stepped back. "I just want you to be happy Wolfram, and I can't help but wonder if Yuri ever would have made you happy."
:-:
"How come that boy is still here?" Abby asked as she walked down the corridor next to Yuri. Yuri didn't reply; his gaze was distant and unfocused as if he were seeing something only he could see. Abby frowned and wrapped her arm around Yuri's. "Yuri, I asked you a question."
"Huh?" Yuri blinked and looked at her in surprise. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"
"I asked if you knew why that boy was still here."
"What boy?"
"The boy who arrived with Lord Bielefeld yesterday," Abby explained patiently. "What was his name?"
"Casper, his name is Casper Falken." Yuri muttered darkly. "And in answer to your question I have no idea why he's still here." Yuri retrieved his arm from Abby's embrace and glowered at the floor as he strode towards the dining room. Abby sneaked a glance over her shoulder to see Conrad, Greta and Casper walking together just behind them. She guessed they were far enough away that she and Yuri could talk without being overheard.
"Don't you think it's strange that Casper hasn't left yet?" Abby deliberately used Casper's first name as a sign of disrespect. If Yuri noticed this he didn't comment on it.
"He can stay or he can go, I really don't care one way or the other." Yuri replied stiffly. Abby hummed but said nothing. Yuri glanced at her with a frown. "What?"
"Well, it's just, if he came here to make sure Lord Bielefeld was returned safely to his family then why is he still here? Lord Bielefeld is perfectly safe here so Casper's duties are complete, wouldn't you say?" Abby twirled a lock of dark blond hair around her finger.
"Maybe he's resting the horses I don't know." Yuri shrugged but the movement was jerky.
"I just wonder what's really going on between those two." Abby said thoughtfully. "I mean, we don't know for sure what happened between them. Don't you think it strange that they returned together rather than Lord Bielefeld returning on his own? And why didn't Lord Bielefeld send a message before now?"
"Wolf said that he lost his memory," Yuri replied but he was frowning. "After he woke up he didn't remember his past."
"So Lord Bielefeld's memory vanished then returned," Abby snapped her fingers, "like that?"
"He didn't say how his memory returned to him." Yuri admitted.
"How…coincidental," Abby said slyly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Yuri asked sharply. "Wolfram wouldn't have lied to me."
"Of course not, it's just a bit much to believe that he lost his memory only for it to return to him mere days after you asked me to marry you, that's all." Abby smiled sweetly at Yuri. "But I'm sure you're correct and it's all just a case of amazing timing." Yuri said nothing but Abby could almost see the wheels in his mind turning. She guessed he had been so busy blaming himself for Lord Bielefeld's supposed imprisonment that he hadn't taken the time to pick apart Wolfram's story.
"I don't know what happened, but I don't believe Wolfram lied to me. If he says he couldn't remember anything then that is the reason he didn't return or send word to us." Yuri's words left no room to doubt his conviction. Abby scowled but quickly forced it away. Yuri's belief in Wolfram was getting tedious.
"If Lord Bielefeld didn't remember anything about his past, it makes me wonder what his relationship with Casper was?" Abby changed track. Yuri looked at her in surprise.
"What do you mean by their relationship?"
"If Lord Bielefeld had truly forgotten who he was he wouldn't have remembered that he was engaged to you would he? It would explain why Casper has escorted Lord Bielefeld all the way here personally and why he's remaining in the Castle." Abby smiled, "naturally any relationship he might have pursued with Casper would have been perfectly acceptable, given that your engagement was annulled."
"Wolf said that they are just friends," Yuri sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Abby smirked and moved closer to Yuri lowering her voice.
"Is that what you truly believe?" Yuri's jaw tightened but he didn't reply. "They look very close to me." Yuri twitched as if someone had pinched him.
"It doesn't matter if Wolfram and Casper were…" Yuri grimaced, "together, as you just said Wolfram and I are no longer engaged."
"True, although Lord Bielefeld wouldn't have known that at the time. Until he arrived back at the castle he believed your engagement stood." Abby smirked as Yuri glanced at her in surprise. He turned his face away and said nothing. Abby walked along in silence knowing that she had said enough for the moment. Yuri's imagination would do the rest of the work for her.
:-:
"I have a feeling I'm being talked about." Casper said lightly as Abby glanced over her shoulder at them before leaning closer to the Maoh to whisper to him. If Abby was trying to cause problems for him it didn't really bother Casper. What concerned him was the potential damage Abby could inflict on Wolfram. He knew exactly what jealousy did to people and he strongly suspected that Abby was jealous of Wolfram. Why she was jealous he wasn't sure, since she was the one who carried the Maoh's child and would be his wife in three short months.
"Abby does possess a remarkable talent for manipulation and cunning." Conrad answered, just as lightly.
"I don't like her." Greta spoke glaring at Abby's back. Casper smiled at the young girl's straightforward announcement.
"Really and why is that Greta?" Casper glanced back at Abby and was grateful to note that she and the Maoh were out of hearing range. He had a feeling this was a conversation they didn't want overheard.
"She stole Yuri away from Wolfram," Grate stated simply. "And now Yuri's going to marry her even though he doesn't want to," Greta pulled a face, "seems silly to marry someone when you don't want to."
"Yes it does rather," Casper agreed. Apparently Greta didn't know that Abby was expecting. A quick glance at Conrad confirmed this to be true as Conrad gave a small shake of his head. From what Casper understood of the situation, Yuri had adopted Greta a few years ago and Wolfram considered her to be his daughter as well by default.
"Why don't Yuri and Wolfram get back together now Wolfram's home?" Greta suddenly asked. Casper and Conrad exchanged glances.
"Yuri has asked Abby to marry him, Greta. It would be very rude of Yuri to go back on his promise to her." Conrad said gently. Casper got the distinct feeling that no one wanted Greta to know about Abby's condition. He figured it was because Greta was Yuri's daughter and still a young girl. She didn't need to know about babies or have the image in her head of her adoptive father and Abby together. Casper had only just met the girl, but to him Greta seemed mature enough to understand. It wasn't as if they could keep the baby a secret forever. Soon enough Greta would need to know the truth.
"But Yuri was engaged to Wolfram first!" Greta scowled.
"Greta, we have talked about this. The Ten Nobles annulled Yuri's engagement to Wolfram because they believed Wolfram was dead. The fact that they were wrong does not overturn their decision. Yuri's engagement to Abby still stands." Conrad placed a hand on Greta's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I know you don't like Abby, but could you at least try to get along with her for Yuri's sake?"
"I thought if Yuri and Wolfram were to marry we could be a real family." Greta said quietly. Her big brown eyes filled with tears and Casper thought this little girl couldn't possibly pull more heart strings. Casper stopped walking and knelt down so he was at Greta's eye level. Greta and Conrad stopped as well and Greta turned her big eyes to meet Casper's.
"Even if Lord Bielefeld and the Maoh don't marry it doesn't mean you're not a family. They can both love you even if they don't love each other. A family to me means a group of people who care deeply for each other, whether they're related by blood or not." Casper gently wiped the tears from Greta's eyes. "Come now little one, no more tears. What would Lord Bielefeld say if he saw you crying?"
"But Yuri doesn't want to marry Abby!" Greta protested.
"If that were true he wouldn't have asked her to marry him." Casper fudged.
"But Yuri doesn't smile anymore," Greta said sadly. "He's always unhappy. Wolfram used to make Yuri laugh."
"Maybe the Maoh is unhappy because he knows you are unhappy?" Casper suggested. "No parent can be joyful when their child is sad." Greta chewed her thumb as she considered this new angle. "Maybe if you smiled more you could make the Maoh smile too?"
"I don't want Yuri to be sad. I don't want Wolfram to be sad either." Greta gazed beseechingly at Casper. "Do you think they'll be happy ever again?"
"I'm certain of it, no one stays sad forever." Casper thought of his father, who had never even looked at another woman after his wife died. Raoul had been sad for a very long time but Casper had been too tied up in his own grief to help him. But there had come a day when Raoul seemed to shake off the worst of his emotional pain and come to accept that his beloved wife was gone but never forgotten. If Raoul was still a little cold towards him, well Casper could live with that.
"Then I'll make them both smile again!" Greta proclaimed, curling her hands into fists with a determined look on her face.
"Good," Casper reached out and ruffled Greta's short brown curls, "I'm sure they'll both be happier for it." Greta beamed happily and looked over Casper's shoulder.
"Oh, there's Wolfram and grandma now!" Greta rushed off, all smiles, to greet them as if she hadn't seen the pair in months instead of minutes. Casper pushed himself up and smiled as Wolfram greeted his daughter. There was still sadness in Wolfram's eyes but Casper was pleased to see a genuine smile of love and affection curve Wolfram's lips.
"You handled that very well." Conrad commented.
"Some of my father's farm hands are married with young kids. My father lets the families live on the farm as long as the little ones don't spoke the horses. I've always liked kids and they seem to like me." Casper shrugged self-consciously.
"You will make an excellent father one day." Conrad commented making Casper blush.
"That day is far in the future I think," Casper couldn't stop himself from glancing at Wolfram who was walking towards him holding Greta's hand. "Besides, I haven't met anyone daft enough to marry me yet."
"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Conrad teased. Before Casper could reply Conrad moved away to greet his mother and younger brother. Casper caught Wolfram's eye and blushed madly.
"What's wrong with you?" Wolfram asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, nothing at all," Casper grinned a little wildly. "Everything is totally fine, nothing to worry about." Wolfram arched an eyebrow and gave Casper a look that suggested he thought Casper was an idiot.
:-:
Wolfram rested his arms on the wall at the top of the battlements and stared out over the town. The wind played with his blond hair and brushed against his face like invisible fingers. The moon was out and the stars winked down at him as if sharing some great secret. Wolfram sighed and rested his chin on his arms as he took in the vista before him.
"I can't help but wonder if Yuri ever would have made you happy."
Wolfram grunted as his mother's words came back to him. Those words had been bouncing around his head all day making him feel dizzy. All he had wanted was Yuri's love; for Yuri to acknowledge him as someone special. Wolfram was sure that would have made him happy. But would that day have ever come? Yuri had certainly never given him any real reason to believe it would. Wolfram sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. He was still tired from the long trip from Casper's stud and being around Yuri right now was exhausting.
Lunch had been an excruciating experience. Cecile had chatted away to keep the conversation going but even being in the same room as Yuri had made Wolfram feel awkward. He had covered his unease with his characteristic arrogance but the worried looks Conrad kept giving him told him at least one person didn't buy his act. At least lunch had confirmed something for Wolfram: he couldn't stay here. If just being in the same room as Yuri and Abby made everyone feel so uncomfortable then it would be best if he just left. Wolfram wasn't heartless, he knew how twitchy everyone was because of Yuri's new engagement, and he didn't want to cause friction. On the other hand, turning and running away was cowardly. He was going to have to face the reality sooner or later that he had lost Yuri for good.
"There you are I've been looking for you." Wolfram glanced up to see Conrad walking towards him with a friendly smile.
"Well you've found me," Wolfram answered pushing himself upright.
"Lunch was a slightly awkward affair." Conrad said lightly making Wolfram snort.
"And that's what they call an understatement."
"Are you alright, Wolfram?" Conrad stepped closer to his younger brother his forehead creased in concern. Wolfram considered lying and saying everything was fine, but dismissed the idea when he saw the look in Conrad's eyes.
"I was wondering whether I should stay or go." Wolfram admitted. "I don't want to be here right now but running away won't solve anything." Conrad didn't answer straight away. He moved so he was standing next to Wolfram and gazed out over the town.
"If you did leave, where would you go?"
"To Uncle Waltorana's house I imagine." Wolfram answered. "I could also start re-training while I was there. I think my sword skills have become a little rusty." Wolfram attempted a joke but Conrad didn't smile.
"I know he would like to see you after everything that has happened. Gwendal has sent letters to all the Ten Nobles telling them of your return so he should know soon that you are well." Conrad glanced sideways at Wolfram. "But this is your home Wolfram, you shouldn't feel forced leave."
"I hate seeing him with her," Wolfram said so quietly that Conrad had to strain his ears to hear him. "It's a constant reminder that I was never good enough for him, that he never loved me." Wolfram gripped the wall tight, the stone digging into his hands. "It hurts."
"I know," Conrad said softly and reached out to clasp his brother's shoulder. For a moment the brothers didn't say a word. Conrad gazed out over the town while Wolfram stared at the stonework beneath his hands and tried to force the tears back. Once he was certain he wouldn't start balling like a baby, Wolfram raised his head and took a deep steadying breath.
"Does Yuri love her?" Conrad didn't answer but his hand on Wolfram's shoulder tightened slightly. "I see…but she loves him?"
"I believe so," Conrad answered, his jaw tight. There was a long pause before Conrad took a deep breath as if about to plunge into icy cold water. "Wolfram, maybe you should let Yuri go?" Wolfram glanced at his brother but didn't answer. Conrad hesitated then ploughed on. "I'm not sure if Yuri could ever have given you what you wanted from him and it wasn't fair to you to make you wait around for him. Maybe…well…maybe you could see this as an opportunity?"
"For what?"
"To move on and find someone who will love you the way you deserve." Conrad smiled sadly at his brother.
"You sound like mother," Wolfram scoffed turning his face away. He heard Conrad chuckle. "I can't just shrug and go fall in love with someone else, you know." Wolfram said tightly. "I can't just stop loving him. If I could I would have long ago."
"I understand, Wolfram, I really do. But before there was always the chance that Yuri could have come to love you back. But now that option has been taken from you both," Conrad's voice was gentle but there was an edge to it. Wolfram kept his gaze averted from his brother's as he bit his lip. The sharp pain helped to focus his mind.
"You make it sound so easy." Wolfram said at last.
"I know the reality is far from easy Wolfram but it is the only way you'll be happy." Conrad smiled sadly, "and I want to see you happy." Wolfram ducked his head and swallowed hard. He couldn't think of anything to say but Conrad seemed to understand him. They stood together in a warm silence for a few minutes, both wrapped up in their thoughts. "Casper is a nice young man." Conrad broke the silence with a fond smile. Wolfram started in surprise and glanced at his brother.
"What….oh, yes, yes he is." Wolfram felt his face grow hot. Annoyed at himself, Wolfram turned his gaze back to the town hoping the cold wind would take the heat out of his cheeks.
"If you leave would he go with you?" Conrad asked watching his brother closely.
"Most likely," Wolfram shrugged, "He has an annoying habit of following me around worried that I might fall apart at any moment."
"So he cares about you?" Conrad grinned as Wolfram's face went redder.
"I suppose," Wolfram muttered.
"Do you care about him?" Conrad pressed. Wolfram opened his mouth to deny it then stopped. His engagement to Yuri had been annulled after all. He no longer had any ties to Yuri beyond that of a loyal subject to his King, so why couldn't he admit to having feelings for someone else? He had been holding himself in check for so long because he believed his heart and loyalty were promised to someone else.
"I…I think I might feel something for Casper." Wolfram said slowly. "I started to care for him shortly after I woke up at his father's farm but I always used to feel guilty about those feelings."
"Because of your engagement to Yuri," Conrad guessed his voice kind. "But you don't have that standing between you and Casper anymore."
"No," Wolfram agreed. "But even though I may have feelings for Casper I still have feelings for Yuri. It wouldn't be fair to Casper to try and have a relationship with him when I was still thinking of someone else."
"Well what do you know; my little brother is all grown up." Conrad said softly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Wolfram demanded but his bright red face somewhat hampered his attempt to portray outraged dignity.
"No harm intended," Conrad laughed giving his brother a proud smile. Wolfram huffed and gave Conrad a black look. As he turned away Wolfram found his eyes once again drawn to the town of Shinmakoku. Candle light flickered and glowed in the darkness as if the stars had fallen from the sky and been scattered across a sea of darkness.
"Do you know what you want, Wolfram?" Conrad asked gently. There was so much subtext in that short sentence. Wolfram took a deep breath and tilted his head back. He felt remarkably calm all of a sudden. His head was clear for the first time since he'd woken up at the Falken stud. He knew what he wanted to do.
"Do you think Greta would like a trip to the Bielefeld lands?"
*End Chapter*
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