Disclaimer: I do not own KKM or any of its characters
This chapter was reviewed and updated in April 2024
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Chapter ten: Making plans
"You want to go to Caloria?" Casper repeated in surprise. Wolfram nodded as he watched Flynn and Elisabeth chatting to his mother just ahead of them as they walked down the corridor. Elisabeth had joined them for lunch shortly after Casper returned from his talk with Waltorana. Once lunch was finished his mother invited them to her private gardens to show them a new rose she had created. Wolfram had hung back from the group and was pleased when Casper caught the hint stayed back with him so they could talk in private.
Hearing Flynn talking about her planned trip around Caloria with Elisabeth had made Wolfram yearn to go somewhere on a trip of his own. A relaxing break away from everything would do him good. Of course he couldn't let up on his training programme as he was still underweight and had yet to reach his prior fitness. He tired too quickly which made him sloppy. The force of this sword thrusts left much to be desired too. But he was pleased with the progress he was making and as the muscle came back the scars faded a little bit more.
Mostly though, Wolfram wanted to get used to the idea of courting Casper and he didn't want to do that here. Between his mother's meddling, his brothers' fussing, Yuri's bizarre dislike of Casper and Abby's glaring he doubted he'd ever relax enough to enjoy Casper's company. Even though his Uncle had given Casper his blessings to court his nephew, Wolfram didn't want to test the man's patience by courting Casper right under his nose. Besides, Wolfram had always been a private person and keeping his relationship with Casper private would be nigh on impossible in this castle.
"I was thinking of going for a couple of weeks," Wolfram answered Casper. "I feel in need of going somewhere people don't know me on sight and starting trying to engage me in conversation about how I feel now my former fiancé is married to someone else. I am sick to death of the not so subtle looks and whispering behind hands."
"Ah," Casper smiled knowingly. "So this is one of those 'escape' vacations is it?"
"Sort of," Wolfram shrugged. "I won't be entirely idle. I still need to keep training and with the unrest in Big Shimeron I will take some guards with me. I think three or four will suffice."
"When were you thinking of going?" Casper asked looking curious.
"The day after tomorrow," Wolfram watched as Casper's jaw dropped.
"The day – Wolfram you only just returned home after an extended period of absence with your Uncle and you want to leave again so soon?" Casper's shock turned to concern. "Is this sudden trip because of me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Casper's cheeks flushed and he looked embarrassed. "I mean, do you want to go someplace people don't know you because you're embarrassed to be seen with me, given our social gap?"
"No, no of course not Casper that has nothing to do with it." Wolfram said firmly and Casper looked relived. "I admit that part of the reason I want to go is so I can be with you without having to deal with people gossiping. But I am not embarrassed."
"Sorry I don't want to start presuming I'm at the centre of every decision you make. But I don't want your being with me to force you from your home either."
"No one is forcing me to do anything," Wolfram stated. "This is an idea that came to me when I was listening to Flynn talking about her plans over lunch." At Casper's confused look he elaborated. "While you were talking to Waltorana, Flynn was telling my mother about her and Elisabeth's plans to leave for Caloria the day after tomorrow. That was when I thought it would be nice to go with them but I wanted to check to see if you would come with me."
"I'd be delighted to go, but did Lady Flynn offer an invitation for us to join her?" Casper looked puzzled making Wolfram smile.
"I don't intend to impede on their hospitality or interrupt their plans," Wolfram answered. "We'll most likely stay with Flynn in her home for a couple of days then move on by ourselves. I've been to Caloria before so I know where I'm going."
"Its winter over there isn't it?" Casper asked thoughtfully. "I don't know if I can get some winter clothes together in time. I didn't bring much with me."
"We can buy you clothes there," Wolfram waved away the concern. "Are you ok with being away from home for so long? I realise you haven't seen you father since we left his stud three months ago."
"My father doesn't know I'm around most of the time and he spends the rest of the time arguing with me." Casper grinned. "I'm pretty sure he'll cope." Wolfram didn't really know how to respond to that. He barely remembered his father and while his mother drove him crazy, he loved her deeply. He couldn't imagine arguing with her the way Casper made it sound like he argued with his father. "Besides, I've never been to Caloria."
"Then it's sorted," Wolfram smiled. "Provided that Flynn has space on her ship for a couple extra passengers we'll be setting sail the day after tomorrow."
"What about Greta?" Casper asked suddenly. "With everything that has happened I would think she'd want her dad around."
"It would be best if she stays here for the time being." Wolfram said quietly. "Caloria is safe but I don't want her travelling for a while, at least until things settle down. And Greta needs to get used to her new family." Wolfram paused as he suddenly remembered that, as far as he knew, no one had told Greta she was going to have a little brother or sister in five months. The poor girl would be ignorant until the baby was born at this rate.
"Yeah I guess you wouldn't be popular if you whisked Greta away right after the wedding." Casper bumped his shoulder against Wolfram's. "Does it make me a terrible person for being excited at the thought of being alone with you?"
"Just the two of us and five armed guards," Wolfram joked.
"You could always order the guards to take a break." Casper winked.
"I could," Wolfram agreed which earned him a grin.
"What are you two whispering about back there?" Cecile interrupted with a pout. Cecile was not the sort of person who liked to be left out of the conversation.
"I was wondering if Flynn and Elisabeth had a couple of spaces on their boat that Casper and I could persuade them to let us have." Wolfram smiled at Flynn who looked surprised. "Hearing you talk about your plans made me want to embark on an adventure of my own."
"Oh, of course you can come with us." Flynn beamed. Elisabeth did not look quite so excited about the prospect however, much to Wolfram's amusement. "But is it ok for you to return to the Human Kingdoms after what happened last time?"
"I don't intend to leave Caloria and I will take a few guards with me. The practice will do them good." Wolfram nodded as he made a quick list in his head of some soldiers from his unit he could trust to behave themselves.
"Is this a military exercise or a romantic getaway?" Elisabeth arched an eyebrow but her twitching lips gave her away.
"Both," Wolfram answered, "might as well make the most out of the trip." Casper chuckled which made Wolfram smile.
"Whatever the reasons we'll be delighted to have you Wolfram and you as well Casper." Flynn shot Elisabeth a look that said 'behave'.
"Of course," Elisabeth nodded unconvincingly, "I'm just surprised you would willingly set foot on a boat, Wolfram."
"Why?" Casper asked, puzzled.
"Wolfram suffers from terrible seasickness," Cecile informed him. "At the smallest roll he'll turn bright green and will be leaning over the side emptying the contents of his stomach."
"Thank you mother for painting such a vivid picture for us," Wolfram said dryly.
"You weren't seasick on the trip from Big Shimaron to my father's stud." Casper pointed out in confusion.
"I was unconscious so that doesn't count," Wolfram shrugged.
"Maybe that's the answer to your seasickness: Casper just has to knock you out. I can supply something suitably heavy for the job." Elisabeth grinned cheekily.
"You're hilarious," Wolfram deadpanned. Elisabeth and Casper laughed while Flynn shook her head with a fond smile.
"Will this be your first trip to Caloria, Casper?" Flynn asked Casper who nodded.
"Indeed, I'm really looking forward to it." Casper smiled as if he'd been planning to head off across the ocean to Caloria for weeks instead of having it sprung on him just minutes ago.
"We won't impede on your kind hospitality for long," Wolfram added. "I don't want to frustrate your plans."
"Don't be silly," Flynn scoffed shaking her head. Elisabeth in comparison looked relieved to hear that her carefully laid plans had not suffered an unexpected mishap at the eleventh hour. "It will be an honour to have you both."
"Oh," Cecile sighed loudly, drawing attention to her.
"What's wrong mother?" Wolfram asked, puzzled.
"I feel like I've barely seen you and you're off again already!" Cecile pulled her youngest into her arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much."
"Mother really I'm only going to be gone for a few weeks." Wolfram rolled his eyes as he extracted himself from his mother's grip. "Don't be so dramatic."
"But my baby is growing up," Cecile sighed lovingly prompting another eye roll from Wolfram. "Look at you, going off on an adventure in love aboard a fine ship. You truly are your mother's son!" Cecile looked delighted at this thought.
"God I hope not," Wolfram said with feeling making Flynn and Elisabeth laugh.
"Well you'll need to make sure everyone knows you're going away." Cecile wagged a finger at her son. "You can't just disappear off and assume that no one will worry about you."
"Yes mother, I'll make sure my brothers and Greta know." Wolfram smiled.
"You better tell Waltorana too. We don't want him getting the wrong idea so soon after giving Casper his blessings." Cecile added in a more sober tone.
"Good idea," Wolfram realised that his mother actually had a good point. "In fact I will tell him now. I wanted to speak to him regardless. Casper, do you know where he went?"
"We were in a small study when we talked but I don't know where he went after that." Casper answered with a small shrug.
"I'll ask one of the maids if they've seen him." Wolfram gave Casper a quick smile then turned to his mother. "You go on ahead and I'll catch up."
"Ok sweetheart, see you there." Cecile winked and walked off in a swish of skirts.
"We'll discuss the details of our trip to Caloria when you get back. Good luck," Flynn grinned.
"Thanks, I think," Wolfram wasn't sure what he needed luck for. Flynn winked at him before linking her arm with Elisabeth and hurrying after Cecile. Casper hesitated and glanced at Wolfram.
"Will you be ok talking to your Uncle? I'm not sure if my being there will make things better or worse. I don't think I'm his favourite person right now."
"I want to talk to him alone first." Wolfram admitted.
"Ok, but if you need me you know where to find me." Casper promised. Wolfram smiled, and after a quick glance to make sure they were alone, kissed Casper on the cheek.
"I'll be back before you have time to miss me." Wolfram promised before he turned and went back the way they'd come. His heart rate kicked up a notch and his palms started sweating but Wolfram wasn't sure why he was nervous. Waltorana had already given Casper his blessings, what was the worst that could happen?
-:-
Yuri watched Conrad running his men through their drills feeling more than a little apprehension. After talking to Murata, Yuri had decided to take his advice and talk to Conrad. They hadn't really spoken since Abby returned to the castle pregnant and Yuri wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't as if he could walk up to him and say 'hey, you know how mad you were at me for sleeping with Abby? Yeah, well, I think you should forgive me now, ok?' Yuri pulled a face and sighed dramatically. This was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Part of him resented the fact that he even needed Conrad's forgiveness in the first place but the other part of him desperately missed Conrad's warm smile. They'd been such close friends before. He hadn't realised just how much he'd relied on him until he lost him.
If the only way to be Conrad's friend again, to get back that relationship they used to share, was for him to swallow his pride and ask for forgiveness then that's what he'd do. Yuri watched as Conrad explained a fighting position to one of his younger soldiers. They just needed to clear the air and sort it out.
Yuri straightened his shoulders, raised his head and walked across the training area with a lot more confidence than he felt. Inside he was nervous. What if Conrad didn't forgive him? What if Murata was wrong and he was making things worse? What if Conrad hated him forever? Yuri swallowed down his nerves as the young soldier noted his approach and said something to Conrad. Conrad turned and caught Yuri's eye. Yuri smiled but Conrad didn't return the gesture. This does not bode well. "Good afternoon Conrad."
"Afternoon Yuri," Conrad sounded pleasant enough. "What can I do for you?"
"Can we talk for a moment, in private?" Yuri added when he spotted the younger soldier's curious glance.
"Continue practising the thrust-parry combination, I want to see more balance and poise when I return." Conrad ordered the soldier who nodded as his face flushed in embarrassment. "We can talk over here," Conrad said to Yuri nodding towards the castle wall out of earshot of the training soldiers.
"Ok, good, yes," Yuri babbled. Conrad turned and walked away with Yuri trailing him feeling an impending sense of doom. In the past, Conrad would have laughed or given him a fond look when he babbled like that. This time Conrad didn't even spare him a glance. Once they were out of earshot where no one would overhear them, Conrad stopped walking and turned to face Yuri.
"Is something wrong?"
"I, um," Yuri made a sound of frustration when his voice stuck. He took a deep breath, located his spine, and faced Conrad. "I miss you." That wasn't what he was planning on saying but it came out before Yuri could question it. "What I mean is that I miss being able to talk to you. Over these past couple of months I've realised just how much your friendship meant to me and how badly I want to try and get it back." Yuri felt his cheeks grow warm as he ducked his head in embarrassment.
"Yuri I –"
"I know you were mad at me and I understand all the reasons why." Yuri interrupted hurriedly. "I get it, believe me, but it's all over now so I was hoping that maybe we could go back to the way things were, before all of this." Yuri risked a glance up. Conrad was staring at him with an unreadable expression. Yuri licked his lips.
"I wish it was that easy, Yuri." Conrad said with a gentle sigh. That feeling of impending doom came back and lodged in Yuri's chest like a lead weight. "I'll admit, I've missed you too, I've missed going on our morning runs together and practising baseball while Gunter runs around the castle like a mad ghost looking for you." Yuri smiled at the memory but Conrad looked sad. "But I don't know if I can just forget all that's happened and go back to the way we were so easily."
"Why not?" Yuri pleaded.
"For one thing, this little drama is far from over. Yes the wedding is complete but I wouldn't say we're a happy family unit at the moment." Conrad shook his head. "Yuri, everything is different now. You are married, and not to my brother. Wolfram can't even feel comfortable in his own home anymore and keeps leaving. We – I – can't ignore the past few months and go back to how things used to be."
"You're right, and it's because this isn't over that I need you." Yuri frantically cast around for a way to salvage the situation. "Conrad, I can't keep pretending that I'm ok with losing our friendship because I'm not ok with it. I miss my Godfather. Do you have any idea how important you are to me? I miss the way we used to talk and laugh together and God help me but I need someone in my life right now who doesn't hate me.
"What can I do to win back your trust? Just tell me what to do. I know things are different but I'm still the same scared kid that needs you to ride to his rescue." Yuri stopped talking, breathing hard from all the emotions raging inside him. Conrad looked pained.
"It's not a matter of winning back my trust, Yuri. But I don't hate you. I'm angry with you and I'm disappointed in you. You used Abby and tossed Wolfram aside as if he never meant anything to you."
"I didn't use Abby!" Yuri protested horrified. He reeled from shock that Conrad, of all people, would say something like that to him.
"Even if Wolfram was dead you could have waited a little longer before sleeping with someone else." Conrad continued as if Yuri hadn't spoken. "I didn't expect you to be celibate for the rest of your life but even you said, after the Ten Nobles annulled your engagement, that it was too soon to be finding a replacement for Wolfram. I believed you when you said that. Even if you never intended to marry Wolfram you could have shown his memory a little more dignity and respect."
"I didn't plan any of this!" Yuri exclaimed defensively throwing his arms out as if to include all that had occurred over the past few months. "Do you think I want to be married and a father at seventeen? Do you think I set out to hurt all my friends? Do you have any idea how much it hurts knowing how badly I messed up? I made a mistake, how long are you going to keep punishing me for it?" Yuri's voice cracked and he thought he saw a small flicker of sympathy in Conrad's eyes before it was gone.
"I know you didn't intend any of this but that doesn't change the fact that you got yourself into this situation. If you're looking for sympathy I'm afraid you've come to the wrong person." Conrad's voice was as hard as steel and so far removed from the gentle, loving person that Yuri knew it was like talking to a stranger.
"You know what, Abby offered me comfort, and since no one else gave a damn I took what she offered. Am I proud of what I did? No, but I've done the best I could with this whole messed up situation." This was all going spectacularly wrong but that was the story of his life of late. "Conrad, I was alone and I just wanted the pain, the guilt, to go away. Just for a moment I wanted to stop feeling like I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was so tired of the nightmares night after night.
"Abby, she helped me. I don't know how to explain it but she did. She didn't know Wolfram and she had no reason to hate me or make me feel guilty for being here when Wolfram was gone. I couldn't forgive myself but I could let go of the guilt momentarily. I could feel happy again, even if it was just for a moment. Yes it all went way too far and now I'm hurting her too. But can't you understand why I went to her in the first place?" Yuri pleaded.
"That's just it, Yuri." Conrad said softly looking at Yuri with eyes full of pity. "You were never alone. If you had asked me to I would have helped you."
"Is that really the truth?" Yuri asked his voice hard and Conrad looked startled. "Would you have been there for me if I had come to you? I didn't exactly make it a secret how much I hated myself for what happened in Big Shimeron, but I don't recall you being there for me. As I remember it, you spent most of those ten weeks avoiding me. When I looked at you I saw a mirror image of my own guilt and misery. How could you have helped me when you couldn't help yourself? How could you have offered comfort to the one you felt was responsible for killing your brother?"
"I never blamed you for what happened in Big Shimeron," Conrad answered quietly. "But I can't forgive you for turning your back on my little brother."
"I see," Yuri tightened his jaw, his teeth grinding together hard enough to hurt. How long did everyone intend to make him suffer? Was he to be punished for all eternity? Any relief he felt after his talk with Murata vanished leaving only a gaping hollow ache inside his chest. In that moment, Yuri felt truly alone. Yuri drew in a deep breath and looked Conrad in the eye. "Very well, I shall take my leave now, Lord Weller." Conrad looked startled at the formal use of his surname but did not respond.
Yuri turned and walked away. He felt like he was walking away from any chance at reconciliation but what could he do? If Conrad refused to see reason then Yuri sure as hell wasn't going to beg for it. What more could he do other than reach out to the man who had mentored and supported him unfailingly since he arrived in this strange new world? Yuri reached up and touched the blue pendent hanging around his neck. Who knew that losing Wolfram would be the catalyst for losing everything he cared about in one fell swoop?
-:-
Conrad watched Yuri walk away fighting the urge to run after him and apologise. It was better this way. He couldn't just forget about everything and act like it hadn't happened. Could he? Conrad shook his head and ran a hand through his short hair in frustration. He didn't know what he was doing anymore.
"Well that was a disaster." A voice from behind him made Conrad jump. He turned to see Yosak leaning against a tree just behind him looking distinctly unimpressed.
"Oh, Yosak, no it didn't go very well did it?" Conrad sighed heavily. Yosak walked up to stand at his shoulder, offering his silent support. What Conrad really wanted was to lean into Yosak and let him slide his strong arms around his waist and hold him close enough to feel his heartbeat. But Conrad didn't want tongues wagging and causing yet more upheaval in their lives. Between Yuri and Abby and Wolfram and Casper there was enough relationship drama going around.
"Conrad, why didn't you forgive him?" Yosak asked softly. Conrad started in surprise at the question and looked up at Yosak. He thought that of all people Yosak would understand how he felt about the whole thing. "I know the fact that His Majesty slept with Lady Abby hit a nerve but I think we both know that it was an error of judgement, and one that His Majesty regrets. And Lady Abby isn't entirely without blame either."
"I know all that," Conrad shook his head.
"Then why didn't you cut the kid some slack when he came to you with his heart in his hands?" Yosak's voice was gentle but Conrad still flinched. "Conrad, come on, it's not like you to be vindictive."
"I'm not being vindictive." Conrad argued. "I just can't forget what happened."
"He didn't ask you to forget, he asked for your forgiveness." Yosak said gently. "I think the real reason you turned him away is because you can't forgive yourself and this is the only way you can think of to punish yourself."
"I – what do you mean by that?" Conrad was too stunned to form coherent sentences.
"You blame yourself for leaving Wolfram behind in Big Shimeron and you blame yourself for leaving His Majesty alone in the hall that night four months ago. I think you also feel guilty for not seeing how badly loosing Wolfram had hit His Majesty and for not being able to help him." Yosak moved so he was standing in front of Conrad and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. "I think you are refusing to forgive his Majesty because that would, in a way, mean that you forgive yourself.
"You love that kid." Yosak nodded his head in the direction that Yuri had gone. Conrad felt his face flush and he opened his mouth to protest when Yosak gently laid his fingers over his lips. "I mean love as in the love between brothers and the closest friends. You care about him and seeing him hurt hurts you. By pushing His Majesty away you are hurting yourself and I can't watch you do that. I said before that His Majesty is old enough to be responsible for his actions and I stand by that. But I think there is enough pain and misery going around right now."
"That's not what's happening here." Conrad shook his head. "How can I forgive him for tossing my brother aside like he did?"
"His Majesty just told you why he did it." Yosak dropped his fingers from Conrad's lips and squeezed his shoulder. "He wanted to escape the pain. Can you really blame him for wanting that?"
"No," Conrad answered after a short pause. "But there were better ways of dealing with his pain that didn't involve him acting like my brother didn't matter."
"Weren't you listening?" Yosak asked, exasperated. "The only reason His Majesty slept with Lady Abby is because Wolfram mattered too much. He couldn't handle it so he took the easy way out." Conrad said nothing. Yosak's words made sense, but Conrad wasn't sure he could look at Yuri in the same way after all that had happened. Their relationship had shifted on its axis and Conrad wasn't sure how to put it back.
"If I forgive Yuri, does that mean turning my back on my brother?" Conrad wondered aloud.
"In case you hadn't noticed, Wolfram's attentions are otherwise occupied at the moment." Yosak chuckled. "We were talking about it just the other day, remember?"
"I remember," Conrad nudged Yosak playfully with his elbow.
"Wolfram is moving on with his life, Conrad." Yosak said in a tone that was uncharacteristically serious for him. "He's moving past the pain and getting on with it. Maybe you should think about doing the same? Don't do it for His Majesty or for Wolfram, do it for you." Yosak snuck a quick kiss to Conrad's cheek making him smile. Yosak had a point and Conrad drew in a deep breath as he mulled Yosak's words over in his head. "Oh, that reminds me, I have some news for you." Yosak grinned looking more like his usual cheeky self.
"Oh?" Conrad asked with a hint of suspicion.
"Hey, I'm a spy remember? It's my job to know everything before everyone else." Yosak grinned and Conrad raised his eyebrows in silent question. "I thought you should know that Casper is now courting Wolfram with Lord Waltorana's permission."
"What?"
-:-
"Uncle," Wolfram called out as he hurried down the corridor towards his Uncle's retreating back. He'd stumbled across his Uncle by happy accident while wandering down the hallway towards the private wing of the castle reserved for the Royal family and notable guests. Waltorana stopped when he heard Wolfram's voice and turned round, a welcoming smile already on his face.
"Wolfram," he said warmly. "What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to talk to you about Casper," Wolfram said as he stepped up in front of his Uncle. At his words, Waltorana's smile vanished and he frowned.
"What did he do?" Waltorana demanded taking Wolfram by surprise.
"He hasn't done anything," Wolfram answered in bewilderment. "I wanted to thank you for giving him your blessings to court me."
"Oh," Waltorana actually looked slightly disappointed as he straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. Wolfram resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Waltorana had told Casper less than an hour ago that he was ok with him courting his nephew, but he was already assuming that Casper had done something wrong? Wolfram held in the exasperated sigh of disappointment.
"I was surprised when Casper told me about your conversation. I was under the impression you didn't approve of him. What was it that changed your mind about him?"
"I haven't changed my mind about anything." Waltorana replied loftily making Wolfram frown.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I still distrust that boy, and I am most displeased that you've chosen such an inappropriate suiter." Waltorana fixed Wolfram with a disapproving frown.
"But…Casper said that –" Wolfram stammered before Waltorana cut him off.
"I did give him my permission to court you but only because I'm certain that this infatuation will wear off in time." Waltorana stated firmly. Wolfram blinked as he stared uncomprehendingly at his Uncle. He opened his mouth and drew breath to respond but nothing came out. He was completely speechless. "I understand that you have been through a lot over the past five months, and I believe those experiences threw you and that boy together. As a result, you're clinging desperately to him like a shipwrecked sailor clinging to driftwood. But you'll reach shore eventually and normalcy will reassert itself." Waltorana sighed heavily as if he was being most generous in a bad situation.
"I see," Wolfram said slowly as his temper stirred inside his chest. "So you gave Casper your blessings because you believe we're doomed to fail so what did it matter anyway? Does that about sum it up?" Wolfram heard the sarcasm in his voice and if the way Waltorana's eyes narrowed was any indication, he heard it to.
"I tried to make you see sense by pushing that boy away from you but clearly my interventions were having the opposite effect." Waltorana said coolly. "Even your mother got involved trying to get me to accept this situation. So I made a decision to allow this nonsense to continue while waiting for that moment when you realise for yourself what folly this whole relationship is."
"In other words you wanted us to sabotage ourselves?" Wolfram said just as coolly. So that had been his Uncle's plan all along? To pretend to give their relationship his blessing, to watch and wait until it all fell apart, and then sweep in with 'I told you so'. Wolfram felt his cheeks grow warm.
"I asked that boy what he would do if I forbade him from seeing you again, and he said that if I were to separate you, that you would become miserable." Waltorana shook his head. "It was then I realised that he was right. Pushing you apart wasn't working. The more I pushed the more you resisted me and the stronger his hold over you became. So I realised it was time for a different strategy."
"You stop pushing us apart in the hopes we'll push each other apart for you." Wolfram scoffed. "And what happens if we don't?"
"Wolfram, you can't seriously be entertaining having a relationship with the son of a horse breeder." Waltorana sighed again. "Would you have even looked twice at him if you were still engaged to His Majesty?"
"That is completely irrelevant." Wolfram argued. His Uncle's words struck a nerve though. If he'd still been engaged to Yuri then odds were that he wouldn't have looked at Casper twice, if at all. The implication that he wouldn't have noticed Casper due to their social gap stung, mostly because Wolfram suspected that it could be true.
"Perhaps you need to have a think about your relationship with that boy and ask yourself this question: if he hadn't saved you would you care about him at all?" Waltorana knew where to hit when it counted. Wolfram flinched and hated himself for it. Waltorana looked smug, like that was the answer he'd expected all along. That thought only made Wolfram angrier.
"That is a question we'll never know the answer to, Uncle. Considering that Casper did save me and I do care about him." Wolfram struggled to maintain his grip on his temper. "And I don't care about him because he saved my life or because I see him as second best or some sort of consolation prize. I care about him for him. And I know he cares about me, which is a hell of a lot more than Yuri ever did."
"Exactly," Waltorana nodded.
"What do you mean?" Wolfram had been thrown so many curveballs during this conversation he wasn't sure which way was up anymore.
"His Majesty treated you very poorly and I'm sorry I didn't realise that sooner. I should have pressured him into making a decision on your future together. His lack of love left you bereft and full of pain. So when that boy comes into your life, showering you with love, you ignore any possibility that it's all a lie and believe every flowery word he spouts because you so badly want it to be true."
"I didn't realise you had such a low opinion of me, Uncle." Wolfram's voice wobbled slightly from the force of his anger. "For you to think me so easily manipulated by sweet nothings whispered in my ear by the first man I come across who showed an interest in me."
"Oh Wolfram," Waltorana actually looked at him with pity. "We are all prey to desire. And the more we yearn for something the more likely we are to reach out and take it without thought to the reason why it is offered to us, or what price we must pay for it."
"How very poetical," Wolfram drawled sarcastically.
"You are still very young," Waltorana said as he reached out to place his hand on Wolfram's shoulder. The almost fatherly way Waltorana looked at Wolfram, as if he only had Wolfram's best interests at heart, as if he were somehow protecting him, made Wolfram want to scream. "You still have time to make mistakes in love. I'm sure once this infatuation is over you'll find someone more appropriate."
"If that is what you think, then I assume you'll have no problem with me going on a trip for a few weeks with Casper?" Wolfram shrugged his Uncle's hand off his shoulder.
"What trip?" Waltorana asked sharply.
"Casper and I have arranged to go with Flynn and Elisabeth to Caloria for a few weeks. It will be just the two of us, a chance for us to get to know each other. We leave the day after tomorrow."
"Wolfram I don't think –"
"It will be a perfect opportunity for us to realise what a terrible decision we're making and for it all to fall apart, just like you want." Wolfram interrupted swiftly with a forced smile.
"You show up to the wedding with him and now you're going off on a trip with him? Do you want the entire Kingdom to know he's your lover?" Waltorana fumed.
"But, Uncle, you've given us your blessings to court and going away on romantic trip together is what courting is all about." Wolfram pointed out. "You never said we had to court in secret."
"You do realise you could jeopardise your future with someone born of Noble title if you fool around too much with some peasant farm boy." Waltorana snapped out and Wolfram felt his cheeks flush at the implication.
"Casper and I are not sharing a bed, Uncle." Wolfram snapped out.
"At least you have that much sense," Waltorana breathed out gratefully. Wolfram's eye twitched. "I may be willing to allow this farce to play out to its inevitable conclusion but that doesn't mean I will allow that boy to lay his hands on you."
"Of course not," Wolfram answered sarcastically.
"Don't you take that tone with me, boy." Waltorana warned.
"I am no longer a 'boy', Uncle, in case you hadn't noticed." Wolfram stepped up close to his Uncle and raised his chin to glare defiantly at him. "Casper and I are going to Caloria together and whether we stay together or not will be up to us, not you."
"We shall see," Waltorana shrugged. "I still have faith that common sense will prevail."
"And I have faith that love will prevail." Wolfram answered quietly. Waltorana's cheeks went pink and he pressed his lips together in a thin line. Wolfram turned on his heel and marched away with his head held high. Inside he was seething in a mix of pain, anger and hurt. How dare his Uncle pretend to give them his blessings? How dare he presume that their love would fall apart so easily? How could his Uncle think so little of him? How could he think so little of Casper?
Wolfram balled his hands into fists at his sides as he strode down the corridor. He would show his Uncle. In that moment Wolfram was determined to make his and Casper's relationship work to prove his Uncle wrong. Wolfram's step faltered slightly as he turned a corner out of his Uncle's gaze. What if they did falter? What if their love wasn't as strong as they thought? Wolfram squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't bear for his Uncle to be right about this. He couldn't bear the 'I told you so' or the pity on people's faces if he came home alone. If Casper left him, it would be the worst humiliation he'd ever suffered.
No, Wolfram shook himself. He couldn't start thinking like that again. If he let those thoughts into his mind then he'd start treating Casper the way he treated Yuri: like a possession. If Casper left him then he'd just have to deal with it when the time arose. If that event arose, Wolfram reminded himself. Waltorana was the only one who believed they would fail. Wolfram needed to have more faith in Casper. He needed to have more faith in the love he saw in those beautiful violet eyes. His mind made up, Wolfram raised his head high and resumed his march back down the corridor. Wolfram was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice Abby watching him silently from the shadows as he marched past her.
When Wolfram walked into his mother's private garden he stopped for a moment when he saw Casper. The sunlight caught his hair just right, making it shine brightly. Wolfram noticed for the first time that Casper had natural blond highlights in his hair from where the sunlight had bleached it. They shone now like fine strands of gold among the light brown curls. Casper laughed at something Cecile said, and the skin around his eyes crinkled. How could his Uncle believe that someone so honest could be secretly hiding nefarious intentions? How could he look at someone so kind and gentle, and see a monster waiting to pounce? As if sensing his presence, Casper looked up and smiled at him. Wolfram smiled back as his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. He stepped into the garden and walked forwards until he stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Casper.
"So, how did it go? Did your Uncle threaten to have me locked in the dungeons for thinking myself worthy enough to go away with you?" Casper joked with a wide teasing grin. Wolfram looked at Casper, at the warm light in his eyes, and lied.
"He's not exactly pleased, but he said we could go." Wolfram answered, silencing the voice in his head that warned him that lying to Casper wasn't the best way to start their relationship. He couldn't tell Casper that his Uncle had lied to him because he believed this was all some infatuation that would pass in time. No, Wolfram couldn't douse that bright light in those beautiful eyes with the harsh and wicked truth. "But I think it would be best to steer clear of him until we leave. We don't want him changing his mind."
"Wolfram, is everything alright?" Casper looked concerned. Wolfram smiled and reached out to take Casper's hand. Right now he needed the comfort that Casper's touch could bring him. He needed to borrow Casper's silent strength to draw up the courage to lie to him. The feel of Casper's rough work-worn fingers against his skin made Wolfram shiver.
"Everything is fine," Wolfram said quietly. He noticed that his mother had moved away to give them a moment's privacy. "You know, I've never actually courted someone before?"
"Really? I thought every young Lord in Shinmakoku would be fighting for your hand?" Casper looked stunned. Wolfram chuckled, feeling his tension ease.
"I was very standoffish, cold and aloof when I was young. Most thought me unapproachable," Wolfram shrugged. "I did not miss what I'd never experienced."
"In that case I had better make sure you experience plenty, so that you'll miss me terribly when I'm not around." Casper winked.
"How very presumptuous of you," Wolfram said in a mock lofty tone, "To think I would miss you so keenly when you are not by my side." Wolfram winked to make sure Casper knew he was joking. Casper grinned and slipped a little closer so he could place his lips to Wolfram's ear. Wolfram couldn't fight the shiver that ran down his spine as Casper's breath ghosted over his ear.
"We'll see about that, My Lord." Casper whispered. The promise in that tone made Wolfram's insides squirm in desire. But now was not the time. Not with his mother not so secretively watching them out of the corner of her eye.
"Cheeky," Wolfram shook his head as he moved away but he couldn't fight the smile. Casper stepped back, still grinning as Cecile called them over. Casper turned away and Wolfram felt his smile slip a little. His Uncle's words were still going around his head and Wolfram knew it would be some time yet before he silenced them altogether.
-:-
Abby pressed herself back against the cold stone wall as she eavesdropped on Wolfram and his Uncle talking. She had happened upon them moments ago while searching for her wayward husband. Yuri had a knack for slipping away from her and vanishing into the depths of the castle. Sophia had warned her against chasing him too much, lest she make him feel smothered, but Abby couldn't help it. Her happiest moments occurred when she was with her husband. The little Lord Brat had shown up to her wedding with his pretty boy toy in tow but he hadn't disrupted her wedding like she'd thought he might. Perhaps his older and wiser brothers had intervened? Whatever the reason, Wolfram had stayed out of their way for the most part.
But still Yuri's gaze had been drawn to him. Abby scowled as she recalled the way Yuri had stared at Wolfram last night while he danced with that farm boy. Why must she still be forced to compete with that blond menace? Even though she was Yuri's wife, his thoughts still drifted to Wolfram. Abby clenched her fists as jealously curled in her belly like a viper waiting to strike. What was so special about that brat anyway?
Abby took a breath and placed her hand over her stomach. Yuri had noticed her small baby bump last night. The memory brought with it such a rush of warmth it made Abby feel dizzy. This baby was her whole world now. This child had given her a home and a husband to call her own. She had finally found love and it was all thanks to the child that grew inside her. Abby cupped her belly and smiled. Don't worry my child; I won't let Wolfram take this life away from us. I won't let him take away your father. Do not fret. Abby gasped, her eyes widening. She could have sworn she felt a kick just then.
Abby returned her attention back to the conversation between Wolfram and his Uncle. It would appear that Lord Bielefeld had pretended to give the farm boy his permission for him to court Wolfram openly, but he believed his nephew infatuated and he did not approve of his choice of partner. Abby held back the snort. Of course a Noble wouldn't be in a serious relationship with some farmer's son! Abby was surprised Wolfram was taking his little charade this far. Was there some ulterior motive? Maybe he hoped to elicit sympathy from Yuri when his faux-relationship fell apart?
When Wolfram mentioned he was leaving Abby felt her heart skip with joy. And he was taking his boy toy with him! Oh how perfect. Abby couldn't have wished for anything better. Perhaps her warning had had more of an impact that she'd thought? Or maybe witnessing their marriage had finally forced into that thick blond head just how much she and Yuri loved each other? Whatever the reason, his departure meant that Yuri would finally focus his attention on her. She wouldn't have to compete for his attention anymore.
Wolfram swept past her and Abby froze, thinking he'd see her, but his mind was elsewhere and he continued on. Abby waited until she was sure he'd gone before she turned away in search of Yuri. She turned the knowledge she had gleaned over in her mind wondering what to do with it. Abby had always believed that knowledge was power, knowing something could be the difference between winning and losing. But the real talent came in using that knowledge to your advantage. Should she tell Yuri about this or keep it to herself for now? Would knowing that Casper was courting Wolfram push Yuri away or towards Wolfram?
Abby found Yuri in his study. One of the maids had told her that he'd requested lunch be brought to him so he could eat in private. Abby rapped her knuckles on the door before she twisted the handle and walked in. Her father used to yell at her if she entered his study without knocking first and the habit stayed with her. Yuri looked up from behind his desk as she entered the room. With the glass window behind him letting in the warm sunshine, his body was a dark outline against the blue sky and his face thrown into shadow.
"Abby?" Yuri sounded surprised as she let the door click shut behind her. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all," Abby smiled as she walked into the study breathing in the smell of leather and ink. Now that she was closer she could see Yuri's face more clearly. He looked upset. His shoulders were tense and there was a hard line about his mouth. Abby hesitated, wondering what could have happened to cause Yuri's gentle nature to turn so sour. "Yuri, are you alright?"
"I'm fine," was the short response. He was clearly not fine at all. His voice was tight and he'd flinched when she asked as if she'd slapped him. Concern for Yuri's wellbeing pushed aside thoughts of Wolfram for the moment. Abby moved around the desk to kneel at Yuri's side, taking his hand gently in hers.
"What happened?" She asked softly. Yuri looked angry and for a moment she thought he'd snap at her, but instead the anger drained out of him and his shoulders slumped.
"What are you doing kneeling on the floor like that?" Yuri said instead. "You'll get your dress dirty." Yuri stood up pulling Abby gently to her feet with him. Abby watched as he fetched a chair from the other side of his desk and placed it alongside his own. "Please sit down. I'm having lunch delivered in a moment, would you like something?"
"Not for the moment," Abby shook her head as she sat. "But I would like to have some tea." Abby reached for the pot sitting on the desk when Yuri beat her to it. Abby sat back with a fond smile as Yuri poured her tea and passed her a cup. Her father would never have even entertained the notion of pouring her mother a cup of tea like some servant. Yuri's natural tendency to act modest and unassuming was one of the first things about him that drew her to him. "The Maoh should not be pouring tea for others." Abby teased gently as she took the cup.
"I think I can handle pouring tea," Yuri scoffed as he sat back down. Abby watched him as he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up in all directions. He looked tired and weary. The sight made Abby's heart ache for him.
"What is it that has made you so upset?" Abby asked softly.
"It's nothing," Yuri muttered.
"If something causes you pain it causes me pain." Abby drank some of her tea slowly, watching Yuri over the rim of the cup. "Let me share your burdens, Yuri. That way the pain will be halved."
"I just had an argument with a friend," Yuri said evasively. "At least, with someone who I thought was my friend."
"I see," Abby put her teacup down. "Can I help?" Yuri looked surprised at the suggestion before he shook his head with a sad half smile.
"I don't think anyone can help me with this." Yuri rubbed his face. Abby watched him for a moment before she stood and came over to him. Yuri looked up as she sat on the arm of his chair and pulled him into her embrace. Yuri did not fight her. He folded into her arms with a weary sigh, his head against her chest as Abby ran her fingers through his hair. The ring on her finger, Yuri had called it a wedding ring, flashed in the sunlight.
"I am here," Abby said softly. "Do not push me away in times of stress or pain. Let me in, let me help you." In this position she was taller than Yuri. His head was tucked under her chin and his soft freshly washed hair tickled her skin. Abby continued to run her fingers through the soft strands as she offered whatever comfort she could. The silence stretched on but it didn't feel uncomfortable. There was nothing sexual in the way they touched. Right now Abby was fulfilling a primal need for human comfort.
"No one has forgiven me yet," Yuri said suddenly. Abby didn't stop running her fingers through his hair but her heart jumped.
"What could you possibly need forgiveness for?" Abby already knew the answer but she wanted Yuri to say it. She wanted him to hear how ridiculous it sounded when said aloud.
"I don't," Yuri said instead taking Abby by surprise. "At least, I didn't think I did. Why must I be punished like this? I've lost all my friends, everyone I care about. And it hurts." Yuri hissed the last part as if saying it caused him physical pain. Alarmed, Abby dropped her head to kiss the top of Yuri's head.
"Oh my love, if they truly cared for you they wouldn't have turned their backs on you like this." Abby soothed. "You have done nothing wrong and nothing worthy of any kind of punishment. If they can't accept the truth then more fool them."
"But…" Yuri hesitated and his breath hitched. Abby said nothing as she could tell Yuri was drawing the courage to speak. She wanted his honesty. She wanted him to open his heart and let her in. Surely if he trusted her enough to see him vulnerable and laid bare that meant he loved her? "Abby, I need them. I can't pretend that I'm ok with everyone hating me."
"Are you sure they hate you? I find it hard to believe that anyone could hate you." Abby murmured. Inside she was seething with rage. Damn that blond brat, he was turning everyone against Yuri and making him miserable. Was this his plan all along? Instead of targeting Yuri directly with his guilt trip he turned on Yuri's advisors and friends, pushing them away from Yuri and leaving him alone. It seemed no matter where Wolfram went his presence would be felt in this castle.
"They might not hate me, but they're certainly not my friends right now either." Yuri mumbled. "Maybe they're right and I should be punished."
"For what – for falling in love with me – for giving me a child – for marrying me – for being happy? Tell what you should be punished for, Yuri, because all of these things have only brought me indescribable joy." Abby pulled back to frame Yuri's face in her hands. Yuri did not meet her gaze. "Yuri when I met you I could tell that you were in terrible pain. But when we were together, alone, you let go of that pain and you laughed. Does that mean nothing to you?"
"Of course it doesn't," Yuri shook his head. "But –"
"No but's," Abby interrupted firmly. "You deserve to be happy. You do not deserve to be punished or miserable for the rest of your life." Yuri finally met her gaze. There were so many emotions racing across his face Abby couldn't fathom what he was thinking.
"Thank you," Yuri said quietly making Abby blink in surprise. "You are about the only person who thinks that right now."
"I am the only person you need," Abby smiled as her heart fluttered. Oh how she loved this man. She would fight all his enemies and lay waste to their armies if he only asked her to. She would stand between him and the world, an unmovable force of nature protecting him from all harm.
"Abby I –"
"Shh," Abby gently placed a finger on his lips. She leaned forward and her hair fell in a silken curtain cutting them off from the outside world as they kissed. A knock at the door interrupted their moment and Abby pulled back reluctantly as the door opened to reveal a young maid.
"Your Majesty, I have your lunch as you requested. Oh, My Lady, I didn't realise you were here. Would you like me to bring you lunch as well?" The maid curtsied with a blush staining her pretty cheeks.
"If you would be so kind," Abby responded as she moved over to sit in her chair. As the maid busied herself with plates and a fresh pot of tea, Abby recalled the conversation between Lord Bielefeld and Wolfram. Now was not the time for her to impart that knowledge. Abby filed the information away for future use and smiled warmly at Yuri as he offered her some of his lunch.
-:-
After his rather unpleasant conversation with his Uncle, Wolfram was not looking forward to telling his older brothers that he and Casper were courting. He thought that Conrad might be ok with it but Gwendal was much harder to read. What if they thought this was all some temporary 'infatuation' as well? What if they wanted to break them apart? Wolfram frowned as he fiddled with his fingers nervously. So far his mother was the only one on their side but she was a hopeless romantic so any suggestion of romantic intentions, particularly where he was involved, was pretty much guaranteed to have her approval.
He'd sent a message to Conrad asking him to meet in Gwendal's study which he was currently standing outside of trying to gather the courage to go in. He knew Gwendal was in and he'd assumed that talking to both of his brothers at the same time would be easier and save him repeating himself. But now he wondered if he should have spoken to them separately to gauge their opinions on the matter. What would happen if they both ganged up on him, or if they ganged up on each other?
"Wolfram, I received your message. Is everything alright?" Conrad called out as he approached Wolfram. He sounded concerned which did nothing for Wolfram's nervous tension. Wolfram glanced up and managed a smile as his brother stopped before him. Conrad's face was flushed and his hair wind-blown so Wolfram figured he'd been training with his soldiers prior to getting his message.
"Hey Conrad, everything is fine I just wanted to talk to you and Gwendal about something important." Wolfram rapped his knuckles on the study door before Conrad could respond.
"Wolfram –" Conrad started when Wolfram heard Gwendal call out for them to come in. Not giving himself time to hesitate or second guess himself to death, Wolfram pushed the door open and walked in with Conrad following. As usual Gwendal's office was impeccable with everything arranged in neat piles on his desk. Everything had its place in Gwendal's office, from the ink pen to the stuffed knitted animals on his shelf. Wolfram knew that stashed in Gwendal's bottom drawer were several balls of wool and a pair of knitting needles.
"Wolfram, Conrad, what can I do for you?" Gwendal sat back in his chair as he watched his two younger brothers enter his study. Wolfram shut the door behind Conrad before walking over to stand in front of Gwendal's desk. Conrad hovered nearby like a benevolent ghost.
"We need to talk," Wolfram stated deciding to jump straight into it. Gwendal hated small talk, and judging by the pile of paper on his desk he was busy so he'd appreciate him getting straight to the point.
"And what do we need to talk about?" Gwendal rumbled looking slightly bored.
"Casper Falken and I are courting," Wolfram blurted. Gwendal's head snapped up to stare at him in total astonishment. Wolfram internally cringed and berated himself for blurting that out. He'd planned to work his way up to that announcement not half-yell it at his brothers.
"I see," Gwendal said, his laden with suspicion. "And when did this happen?"
"We only started courting yesterday." Wolfram answered hurriedly feeling flustered. Gwendal's eyebrow rose as he studied Wolfram with unnerving intensity. "I wanted you to hear it from me before mother started arranging our wedding." Wolfram gave his brother a wry half-smile. He wouldn't put it past his mother to be making plans even at this early stage.
"This is all rather sudden," Gwendal scowled as he leaned forward. "You barely know him."
"Actually Casper and I have known each other for going on five months." Wolfram pointed out.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Gwendal pressed as he crossed his arms over his chest. Wolfram felt his heart sink as his temper stirred. "Please tell me this isn't some form of rebellion because His Majesty just got married?"
"Not every decision I make revolves around Yuri!" Wolfram snapped out. "This has nothing to do with him."
"Keep your voice down," Gwendal admonished and Wolfram felt his face flush. "Wolfram, I am concerned you are not thinking with a clear head about this. You're letting your emotions run away with you."
"Why does everyone think I'm some weak-minded fool who swoons over the first man to give him the time of day?" Wolfram asked bitterly.
"We don't think that at all," Conrad butted in before Gwendal could respond. Wolfram looked up hopefully as Conrad walked up to him. Conrad reached out and pulled Wolfram towards him in a fierce hug. Before, Wolfram would have blushed and pushed Conrad away but now he found himself relaxing in his brother's embrace. "You are a lot of things, little brother, but you are no one's fool. I'm delighted that you and Casper are courting."
"You are?" Wolfram hardly dared believe his ears. Conrad pulled back and gave him a warm smile.
"I knew there was something more going on between you two than just friendship but I didn't want to push. I wanted you two to work things out in your own time. I can't tell you how happy I am that it all worked out." Conrad winked and Wolfram managed a small smile in return.
"This is hardly appropriate," Gwendal grunted looking stressed. "Wolfram, you are the son of the previous Maoh and future Lord of the Bielefeld lands while Falken is –"
"The son of a horse breeder, yes I know," Wolfram interrupted. "Why does that matter so much to everyone? Mother married a human when she was the Maoh."
"Conrad's father was Human nobility," Gwendal pointed out, "and mother was given a lot of grief for marrying him. You will meet a lot of people who will disagree with your choice of suitor and I'm not convinced you'll be able to deal with that in a manner becoming of you." Gwendal sat back, his face impassive.
"Come on Gwendal that's hardly fair." Conrad protested. "The fact that others might give Wolfram a hard time is precisely why we need to stand with him on this."
"Wolfram needs to accept the reality of his situation if he wants to start courting the Falken boy." Gwendal gave Conrad a pointed look. "Coddling him and giving him false expectations won't help anyone."
"I know what people might think," Wolfram said. He held his head high and met Gwendal's gaze. "Uncle Waltorana has pretty much said everything there is to say on the subject. But I am not going to give up on Casper simply because other people might say nasty things about us. I am a soldier, not a delicate glass flower, I can handle it."
"What does Waltorana think about the whole thing?" Gwendal asked curiously.
"He basically thinks that Casper is using me to advance his position in society," Wolfram felt his insides twist as he recalled his Uncle's words. "But he did give Casper his permission for him to court me." Wolfram carefully didn't mention that Waltorana only did so out of expectation that they would fall apart regardless.
"Did he now? That is quite the surprise considering he spent most of the wedding glaring at Falken. I was under the impression that Waltorana did not approve of his presence around you at all." Gwendal narrowed his eyes at Wolfram. Wolfram held his ground and didn't flinch.
"Mother intervened and asked Waltorana to give us a chance. Uncle realised that trying to push us apart only caused strain between me and him while bringing Casper and I together." Wolfram shrugged as he ignored the voice in his mind that protested against the unfairness of it all. "I guess he decided to stop fighting us and let what will happen, happen."
"How very open minded of him." Gwendal clearly didn't believe a word. Wolfram was annoyed that Gwendal could so easily see through Waltorana's pretend blessings when he'd accepted it at face value. But maybe something showed on his face or in his tone that hinted that Waltorana had been lying?
"Really Gwendal, our brother has found love and you're making out like it's a bad thing. Stop trying to find out what's wrong and focus instead on the good parts." Conrad shook his head with a heavy sigh.
"You are a romantic fool just like mother." Gwendal admonished Conrad who rolled his eyes. "What do you think Falken wants from you?" Gwendal turned back to Wolfram. "Everyone does something in order to gain something."
"He told me he loves me." Wolfram said and his heart skipped as he recalled the way Casper had said that so softly to him in the rose garden last night. There had been conviction in his tone as if no other possibility could exist. "And that's all I need to know."
"Because he saved your life in Big Shimaron?" Gwendal didn't look impressed.
"No," Wolfram shook his head. "Look, I know everyone thinks I'm ignoring any possibility of Casper using me because I'm starved for love and affection or some other such nonsense, but when Casper looks at me he sees me. He's seen me at my lowest moment and he still respects me. He's not perfect, but then neither am I. He's not after my titles or my wealth, he wants to be with me and I want to be with him."
"Do you love him?" Gwendal raised his eyebrows.
"I don't know if its love." Wolfram admitted. "I'm not sure if I even know what love is any more. But I do know that I care about him. I care so much it scares me sometimes. I want to be wherever he is and when we're apart it's like there's something missing. I feel calmer with him, like I don't need to prove myself to him or to anyone." Wolfram drew in a deep breath and faced his oldest brother. "Gwendal, I don't need your permission to court Casper. I'm old enough to make such decisions for myself. However, I would like to have your blessings. I don't want to choose between my family and Casper."
"Well you can't argue with that." Conrad chuckled. "You have my blessings, Wolfram."
"Thank you Conrad," Wolfram beamed at his brother before turning to Gwendal.
"Why couldn't you have chosen a young Noble to court?" Gwendal said in exasperation. "Really, this is all most inconvenient. Why must you make everything so complicated?"
"Love is complicated." Conrad laughed. "It's complicated, messy, unpredictable and all the more wonderful for it."
"Hmm," Gwendal grunted still looking less than pleased.
"Gwendal," Wolfram prompted, "what do you think?"
"I think you're a damn fool," Gwendal stated in such a flat tone Wolfram wasn't even sure it could count as an insult. "But if you want to get yourself into trouble by courting the Falken boy then don't let me stop you."
"A positive ray of sunshine as always," Conrad teased.
"You knew about this before Wolfram told us, didn't you?" Gwendal accused Conrad with a scowl. Wolfram glanced at Conrad in surprise as Conrad laughed slightly self-consciously.
"You knew already? You really can't keep a secret in this castle! I can't believe you've kept Abby's pregnancy a secret this long." Wolfram shook his head in amazement, so much for keeping a low profile.
"Yosak told me," Conrad smiled, "don't ask me how he knew but he did. He even knew Waltorana gave you his blessings."
"Some people are too good at their jobs." Gwendal snorted. "Now, both of you get out of my office. I have a mountain of work to do and precious little time to do it." Wolfram and Conrad exchanged grins as they hurried out of Gwendal's office and left him to it. As Wolfram shut the door behind him he felt a great wave of relief rush through him. That had gone a lot better than he'd thought.
"Hey," Conrad said softly as he reached out for Wolfram's arm, "thank you for telling us about you and Casper courting. I know it must have taken courage to open up to us knowing that we might not have accepted your relationship with him."
"I wanted to tell you myself before mother said something." Wolfram smiled in fond exasperation. "You know how she likes to embellish things."
"True," Conrad chuckled. "But I'm still glad you trusted us enough to come to us directly, so thank you." Wolfram felt his cheeks turn red. "I really am pleased for you." Conrad added giving Wolfram a playful nudge in the ribs. "After everything you've been through you deserve someone who'll love you without question."
"I don't know if we're there just yet." Wolfram started walking down the corridor, not really sure where he was going only that he was filled with restless energy and needed to move around. Conrad fell into step beside him.
"You both have plenty of time to figure it out." Conrad agreed. Wolfram stopped dead so suddenly Conrad almost ran into him.
"Ah, I forgot to tell you about the trip."
"What trip?" Conrad asked, baffled.
"Casper and I are going with Flynn and Elisabeth to Caloria the day after tomorrow." Wolfram explained. "That is what prompted me to tell you about us, to be honest. I should go back and let Gwendal know."
"Leave it for now," Conrad advised as he took Wolfram's arm and starting leading him away. "Gwendal's still processing your courtship with Casper, I don't think telling him about your trip would do his blood pressure any good."
"Good idea," Wolfram didn't need much convincing. He and Conrad walked for a moment in companionable silence before Conrad drew breath to speak.
"Wolfram, are you sure you want to leave?" Conrad gave Wolfram a worried glance. "I know you felt uncomfortable here before the wedding and I didn't question you going back to your Uncle's lands, but do you really still feel unhappy here?"
"It's not that I'm unhappy," Wolfram answered slowly. "It's more that I want to be with Casper without constantly wondering what everyone thinks or listening to people whispering behind their hands. My face isn't known in Caloria; there I can just be a guy courting his lover."
"Are you sure it'll be safe for you over there?" Conrad continued.
"Caloria is safe, but I'll take a few guards with me just in case." Wolfram assured his brother. "Don't fuss over me now."
"I'm you brother, fussing over you is in the job description." Conrad smiled as he ruffled Wolfram's hair. Wolfram swatted his hand away making Conrad laugh. "Seriously though, are you happy?" Conrad's tone turned sober and his hazel eyes were worried. Wolfram looked up at his brother and nodded.
"I am," he promised. "I've had quite the busy few months what with getting kidnapped, tortured, rescued, finding out my fiancé is getting married and going to be dad, and then watching him get married." Wolfram gave a humourless chuckle. "Sometimes I think I should be a gibbering mess on the floor."
"But you're not," Conrad smiled.
"No I'm not," Wolfram agreed and as he said it he felt his shoulders rise as his spine straightened. He wasn't weak, and he wasn't clinging to Casper because his world had fallen apart. Yes, so much had changed in such a short time but he was dealing with it. And he would continue to deal with it in the manner befitting a Noble. Waltorana was wrong. Being with Casper didn't make him weak. Casper made him strong. Wolfram smiled to himself. He would show his Uncle, he would show everyone, just how strong he was. "How long has it been since we last sparred?"
"Uh, I don't remember," Conrad said, taken aback by the sudden question. Wolfram glanced at him and Conrad saw the fire in his younger brother's eyes. It had been so long since he last saw his brother looking like that it gave him a sudden rush of nostalgia for the days spent playing baseball in the castle courtyard with Yuri while Wolfram watched and moaned about how boring the game was and Gunter rushed around the castle yelling for Yuri because he'd skipped his lessons again. The memories brought with them a complicated rush of warmth and sadness. Maybe Yosak had been right and it was time to let go of the pain, misery and guilt?
"Then it's been too long so ready yourself Conrad Weller for I will be your opponent." Wolfram grinned. "Don't expect me to go easy on you just because we're brothers."
"Tough talk Wolfram Von Bielefeld," Conrad grinned. "Challenge accepted."
*End Chapter*
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