It felt like she was drowning. Her chest felt heavy, like she was thousands of feet deep underwater. It was suffocating as she regained a small bit of her consciousness. Her fleeting emotions of dread, frustration, and anger clashed with the unfamiliar feeling of…anxiety? That didn't sound right. That wasn't like her. Kacey Shepard…anxious? In her mind, that wasn't possible. And yet…
She could've sworn she briefly heard someone call her name through the ocean of voices and sounds that seemed the fill the room. She was clearly disorientated and had little idea where exactly she had ended up. Adrenaline continued to flow through her body, ready to fight or to run. But even she knew she couldn't run forever. The Reapers were thorough, meticulous, and unrelenting. Not matter where in the galaxy she ran to; they would inevitably find her. And if they were here…
They could be anywhere.
Her thoughts went to her friends, her allies, her teammates. It didn't matter where they were, the Reapers will find them. It was only a matter of time, the one thing they were running out of, quickly. The war the Reapers had begun, and Kacey had no plan. No strategy. Nothing.
Had her luck finally run out?
"Shepard!" a voice cut through her jumbled thoughts, "Kacey!"
She slowly began to lift up her head, grabbing the right side of her forehead with her right hand. Her head hurt, her ears were ringing and as she pulled her hand away, she saw a small puddle of blood in her palm. Her back hurt as she shakily pulled herself up. She could smell burning, and as she sat up, she saw several small and medium fires littered across the room.
"Kacey! Shepard!"
Someone kept shouting and it was hurting her head more. As her vision cleared, she saw Anderson run towards her, worried but relieved. He offered her his hand, which she took, and he pulled her up onto her feet.
"Come on. Get up." He said firmly.
"Working on it." Kacey replied.
"Nice to see you're okay." Anderson replied, "That head injury can't be too serious if you're still making snarky remarks."
"It's just a bit of blood." Kacey said, "I'll live."
"Good. Here, take this." Anderson replied, handing Kacey a pistol, "We've got to get moving."
Kacey took the gun and followed Anderson as he tried to radio somebody. But Kacey knew that the effort was more likely than not in vain; the Reapers would cut the comm buoys off.
"This is Admiral Anderson. Report! Anyone?"
She then saw the bodies of the committee members, that only a few minutes ago were talking to her, alive and well. That sickening feeling she had returned and if it weren't for her…unique circumstances, she probably would've been worse off. After all, the force of which that had sent her flying would've killed the vast majority of Alliance soldiers.
"Major Alenko? That you?" Anderson said, "What's your status? I can't raise the Normandy. You'll have to contact them. We'll meet you at the landing zone. Anderson out."
They had stepped outside, via the gap where a large window used to be. Kacey looked over at the scene in front of her; a preventable one, had people listened to her in the first place. They weren't prepared, she knew that. And now, billions of people were going to die preventable deaths, while they scramble around looking for a solution. It hadn't really sunk in until she had seen it in person like this.
"Come on, Kacey." Anderson said as they dropped down to a lower ledge, "They're massive. Kaidan's heading for the Normandy. They'll pick us up if we can get to the spaceport."
"Assuming there's one left standing." Kacey said pessimistic.
She ran along the ledge behind Anderson. She could see the Reapers in the skyline, standing out as they began their genocidal harvest.
"Look out!" Anderson shouted as a Reaper laser cut through the building, just four feet away from Anderson. The glass in the windows shattered as the building exploded.
"How did you stop something so powerful?" Anderson asked.
"Don't know. I ask myself the same thing." Kacey replied, "I'd say dumb luck, but I don't think we've got enough to hold out for long."
Anderson remained quiet; Kacey assumed he was thinking about her response. She didn't blame him. And, in truth, it was the only answer she could muster.
"Take a running jump!" Anderson shouted as he jumped to the other side of the platform, "It's father than it looks."
She quickly ran and jumped over the gap effortlessly. Adrenaline continued to flood her veins as she followed Anderson, her mind continuing to drift elsewhere. Reality was still sinking in for Kacey, and it was becoming harder and harder to believe it. But there was also a feeling of guilt that plagued her. Even after what happened in the Bahak System…she only delayed them by six months. Six months. For all the lives that were sacrificed…it wasn't enough. It was in vain.
The sounds of the Reaper's lasers could be heard for miles, each one signalling the deaths of thousands. Ships flew around the grey sky quickly, trying in vain to escape. The scene was horrific and yet…so familiar. The vision from Eden Prime…from that beacon…it came to mind immediately. That vision was the beginning. The cause of all the trouble and pain that had ensued for nearly four years.
"Down here, Kacey." Anderson said.
He dropped down to another ledge, with Kacey close behind. The scarlet-haired soldier followed Anderson along the ledge, quiet. She had nothing more to say, nor did she have anything else for the admiral.
"Come on." Anderson shouted again, climbing the ladder, "We'll have to go this way."
Kacey did as she was told, like the good, little, obedient soldier she was trained to be, yet everyone forgot she was. She knew she was a decent leader, but she also knew that she couldn't lead the galaxy out of this mess. Not this time.
She followed standard procedure on the roof; take cover, wait until it was clear, then move forward. She didn't have to be told by Anderson; he didn't need to say anything to her for her to do it. It was second nature for her to be so cautious. For her to follow Alliance protocols. Most of the time.
The flexibility of a Council Spectre meant that she hadn't followed a large amount of Alliance protocols in a long time. And while she never forgot them, she wasn't exactly inclined to follow them. And right now, as she saw the planet go to hell around her, she sure as hell wasn't going to follow a rulebook that didn't matter anymore.
"Major, you read me?" Anderson said down the comms, "I'm patching in Shepard."
'Please don't.' Kacey thought to herself. She didn't need any more distractions, and it was already bad enough that she was going to have to confront Kaidan sooner rather than later.
"We're almost to the Normandy!" Kaidan said through rapid breaths, "I've got Lieutenant Vega with me, but we're taking heavy fire!"
While Kacey was at least happy to hear Kaidan alive, the sound of gunfire on the other end wasn't as reassuring. She took a small bit of solace in the fact that Kaidan at least had some experience with the husks before and was more than capable of handling himself. And as for James, well if the stories were true, those husks were in for a world of pain.
"Husks!" Anderson shouted.
The husks were crawling up the side of the building, and Kacey wasted no time in dispatching them quickly. She had dealt with so many by now she easily popped the heads of the husks with well-placed inferno shots. The efficient ruthlessness of her shots clearly didn't go unnoticed by Anderson, who once again said nothing about the subject.
"Come on. We gotta move!" he said, going down a ladder.
Kacey followed silently; words evaded her. What could she say? She had said all she needed to before the Reapers showed up. Words weren't going to change the situation they were in now.
She took cover as more husks flooded in; well placed headshots obliterated their rotting skulls. It was almost like target practice; she remembered how, back on Eden Prime, they used to give her so much trouble. Now? It was barely challenging. One headshot. And they were dead. Something that she and a certain turian figured out six months ago.
She vaulted over the wall and finished off the last two husks with her omni-blade before they smashed a window. She was completely out of thermal clips and just killed the last husk when she heard that noise. The noise that signalled the Reaper's beam. She saw as it was lined up and carved its way through the building; she ran and slid as the windows shattered from the force of the beam with an explosion. When she stood up, she saw her arms were covered in cuts from the broken shards of glass. She shrugged it off; it didn't matter right now. She entered the ruined building, smoke suffocating her as she pushed through.
"We gotta find a way out of here!" Anderson said.
It was a one-sided conversation; Kacey wasn't responding, not verbally at least. As she looked around, she found another door, one that was still intact. As she approached, a husk appeared, jammed in between the door.
"Watch out!"
The husk struggled in door. It couldn't get through. But something about it…made her nervous.
"Know this as you die in vain: Your time will come. Your species will fall."
Something snapped. She grabbed the husk's skull and smashed it into the left-hand side of the door. Three, four, five times till it was limp on the floor. She stepped away and ran her right hand through her hair as she took a deep breath. Once she collected herself, she pulled the door apart, trying to open it.
"Through this way." Kacey said.
Anderson ducked beneath as he entered the room. but before Kacey could follow, she heard a rumbling from the nearby vents. Letting go of the door, she went over to investigate, when she saw a small, dark-haired boy hiding in the vent.
"Hey." Kacey said, quiet yet loud enough for the boy to hear.
She kneeled down next to the vent, as the boy reversed in fear. The panicked, scared look on his face…it caused the pit in her stomach to grow much bigger.
"It's okay…" She said calmly. She wasn't good with kids; never had been. She knew she was out of her depth here.
"Everyone's dying." The boy said in fear, eyes watering. The boy squeaked in fear as a Reaper stomped past.
Kacey couldn't leave him there. Not in this.
"Come here." She said, trying to keep her voice steady and calm, "I need to get you someplace safe."
Someplace safe. It didn't exist. Not anymore.
"Take my hand." Kacey continued. She offered the boy her hand, but he didn't take it.
"You can't help me." He said.
"Kacey!" Anderson shouted, "In here."
She had only briefly looked away; when she turned back, the boy was gone. Anxiety began to flood her system along with the adrenaline; a messy mix to be sure. As she headed into the room where Anderson was waiting for her, she tried desperately to bury her whirlwind of emotions. Between the Reapers, Kaidan, and the events of six months ago she was a walking disaster. A ticking time-bomb.
She caught up with Anderson, who was searching for thermal clips in ruins.
"Argh! This is a goddamn mess." Anderson said, with Kacey sharing the sentiment, "Every minute these machines are here, thousands of innocent people die. I won't be responsible."
"I understand." Kacey said, struggling to find her words, "It's hard enough fighting in a war, but knowing no matter how hard you try…you can't save them all."
"Exactly." Anderson said, ducking under a pipe, "They hit so fast…I thought we had more time."
"We knew they were coming."
'I knew they were coming.'
"And they still cut through our defences." Anderson said.
'I told you this. Three years ago.'
"We need to go to the Citadel." Anderson continued, "Talk to the Council."
Kacey looked at the admiral like he was crazy. The Council? If anyone was to blame for the lack of preparation for the Reapers, it was those four. They believed the Reapers were no more than a myth; and Kacey knew that even now, it would be a waste of valuable time that they no longer have the luxury of wasting.
Kacey scoffed, "The Citadel? The fight's here."
"It will be everywhere soon enough." Anderson replied bleakly, "You said it yourself…the Reapers will destroy everything if we don't stop them. The Council has to help us."
"You sure about that?" Kacey scoffed as she shuffled along a very small ledge, "This is the same Council who didn't believe Sovereign was a Reaper even after it attacked the Citadel. The same one I've been trying to warn for three years only for nothing to happen."
"I know, but you're a Council Spectre, that has to count for something."
"Was. I assume I was stripped of that six months ago as well."
"The Council doesn't know what happened in the Bahak system." Anderson said, "Only the Alliance. You know exactly why you were relieved of duty—"
"Relieved of duty?" Kacey scoffed, "I might as well have been court-martialled. It's the exact same thing. I'm not a child, Anderson. You don't have to sugar coat it."
"You haven't been court-martialled!"
"Why the hell not?"
"Because you did what you had to!" Anderson said firmly, "You bought us time! You gave us another six months to prepare. We had to keep you here to stop a war with the batarians. You know this."
Kacey nodded; Anderson was right. She knew the stakes before she arrived. She just wished that she hadn't bring her friend down with her.
"I'll stand by you, Kacey. You're my Commander, and the best I've served with. So, I'll stand by you. No matter what."
"And you are the best damn pilot I've ever served with. Thank you, Joker. For everything."
Another loud bang rippled throughout the area, accompanied by a large shake; Anderson narrowly caught Kacey before she fell, snapping her out of her memory.
"Gotcha!"
"Thanks." Kacey said, "I owe you one."
"More than one." Anderson replied.
"So, I assume our plan is to get to the Normandy and go to the Citadel?" Kacey said, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"It's the only one we've got." Anderson replied, "Speaking of the Normandy…we need to talk before we get there."
"About what?"
"About you and Kaidan."
Kacey rolled her eyes; this was not the time for that. And she didn't want to have that conversation with Anderson either. Not again.
"Whatever problems you two have, you need to sort it out before we get to the Citadel." Anderson said, "I won't have a repeat of last time."
"That was nine years ago." Kacey said.
"Yeah, and we don't have time to leave you both on a hostile world to sort your problems out. That and we can't afford to have you both away from the front lines."
"I still can't believe you and Hackett did that." Kacey said, remembering the 'mission'.
"It worked, didn't it?"
"Yeah, it did." Kacey said, "I hope you've had this conversation with Kaidan too, wouldn't want him feeling left out."
"I've already spoken with him." Anderson replied, "Ranks aside, he'll follow your orders. And knowing him, he'll at least make an effort. Whatever happened between you two, I'm confident you'll both sort it out."
"What happened was the Illusive Man." Kacey replied bitterly.
Once they reached the other side, Kacey grabbed a few thermal clips from the ground. Once she reloaded her pistol, she followed Anderson out the broken window and down onto another ledge. She was still thinking about what he had said, it would be easier said than done. She had muddied things with Kaidan, perhaps too much. And yet, she didn't regret a thing. And she would do it again.
The mission that Anderson had mentioned brought back simpler memories; at a time when she thought the Skyllian Blitz was the worst thing she could've lived through. She remembered that day well; not like she could forget it. She survived and was put forward for N7 training and she made it through the training. And then she was given the N7 designation and reassigned under Anderson. After only four years in service at that point. That was when people started putting her on a pedestal. And when she first met Kaidan.
"God." Anderson said as a Reaper landed close to them, "Major Alenko, we're in sight of the spaceport. ETA three minutes."
"We've made it to the Normandy." Kaidan said over the comms, "Taking heavy fire—oh god! They're going to take down that dreadnought. Evasive manoeuvres!"
"Major? Kaidan? Damn it! They're in trouble." Anderson said.
As Kacey navigated through the crumbling infrastructure, she saw from the corner of her eye a Reaper blowing up a dreadnought with one shout with its laser. The mass effect core exploded and set her tumbling back, hitting her head against a metal bar before she tumbled down forward, sliding down six stories.
It took a good minute for her to pick herself back up; her head hurt more even more now than it did before.
"Normandy." Anderson said through the comms, "We're going to reroute. Do you copy?"
Nothing. Nothing but static followed. Kacey's stomach twisted in ways she didn't think possible. Worry had set in, as she followed Anderson over the broken pieces of buildings towards a downed dreadnought.
"Normandy! Come in!"
Still nothing.
"Friendlies." Anderson said, looking down.
Kacey peered over the edge to find two Alliance marines next to the smouldering remains of their ship, one of which was injured. She dropped down as Anderson approached the soldiers.
"You two all right?" Kacey asked.
"Get down!" the uninjured one said, "They'll see you!"
Kacey looked towards the mech, where she saw some odd-looking creatures. They weren't husks, but they looked almost…batarian.
'Batarian husks…great.' Kacey thought, 'And they even have guns.'
They noticed her immediately; she wasted no time in getting into cover and opening fire on them. Unlike the husks, who usually swarmed their targets in close proximity, these ones actually hid in cover and fired weapons like normal soldiers. It was unsettling to say the least. She utilised her incendiary bullets to light the disgusting Reaper troops on fire, stopping the batarian husks in their tracks, allowing her to fire off rapid concussive shots to finish them off.
"Shepard, over here!" Kacey heard Anderson shout at her.
Kacey approached Anderson and the two soldiers as Anderson questioned the soldiers.
"What happened here?" Anderson asked the medic.
"Our gunship was shot down…" the medic replied, "We barely made it."
"You have a radio?" Anderson asked quickly, "We're trying to contact our ship."
"No." the medic replied, "There's one in the gunship, but it's gonna be crawling with those things."
"Stay here, son. We'll get you out of here." Anderson replied.
'Wishful thinking.' Kacey thought to herself. She knew, very well, that this fight wasn't going to be that straight forward, or merciful for that matter.
"Come on." Anderson addressed her, "Let's get to that gunship."
Kacey ran along the path made from a long metal pillar towards the crash site, keeping a tight grip on her handgun. She was struggling to remain focused; dread was swelling up inside her.
"What the hell are those things?!" Anderson said, snapping Kacey back to reality.
"No idea." Kacey replied, "But they are going down."
Kacey could see one of them eating the corpse of husk, a sight that was so grotesque she felt a bit queasy. One fiery concussive shot from Kacey caused one of them to explode, while Anderson made quick work of the remaining two. Kacey ran past the corpses of those cannibalistic husks and circled down towards the destroyed gunship, firing off two fiery concussive shots at the two cannibals that appeared.
As Anderson ran towards the radio, Kacey found an assault rifle on the ground, fully loaded, and picked it up. It was better than her pistol and she could use the extra firepower.
"Normandy…this is Anderson. Do you read?" Anderson said through the radio.
"Admiral? What's your location?" Kaidan's voice said through the radio.
A wave of relief washed over Kacey at the sound that Kaidan had managed to pull through, but that relief was quickly swallowed up by a mix of dread and adrenaline. She had to stay focused, and she tried to distract herself away from the conversation by looking around for any more husks or cannibals.
"By a downed gunship in the harbour. I'm activating the distress beacon. Send support. We've got wounded down here."
The communications were turned into nothing but static. As expected. Kacey knew this already. She told them this, already. She hated this.
"Major?" Anderson said, "Damn it! I lost the signal."
"Let's hope that beacon does its job." Kacey replied bluntly.
"And fast…we've got company!" Anderson shouted.
"More cannibals? Great." Kacey replied sarcastically.
"Cannibals?"
"Yeah. Cannibals." Kacey replied, "Cause you know, they eat each other?"
Anderson gave a small laugh, "You never fail to make people laugh."
"What can I say?" Kacey said as she moved into cover, "It's one of my many charms."
They blasted through the cannibals; fiery concussive shot and grenades blew the reaper troops apart. But the sheer number of them kept the pair on the defensive, a strategy that Kacey knew the Reapers always used. As that infernal vision had burned into her mind, the Reapers could simply bypass all conventual tactics by sheer numbers alone, as well as those instant death lasers they fired with inhumane precision. This was not a fight that could be won easily and yet…
"You've built a career on performing the impossible."
"You're a natural leader."
"We're both engineered for greatness, Shepard. The difference is you were great before we rebuilt you…"
Could she really do this?
Everything from the past, every mission, it seemed like a walk in the park compared to this. The Skyllian Blitz, The Battle of the Citadel, The Suicide Mission…it did not compare to this. The unnerving emptiness of Freedom's Progress and Horizon, the unsettling feeling of being inside a dead Reaper, the hectic nature of Virmire, the borderline suicidal nature of the Collector base and Ilos, even the impossibility of success and the overwhelming sense of dread on Elysium and that dammed asteroid…
None of it…could have prepared her…for this.
"The calvary has arrived!" A familiar voice rang through the comms.
"Joker?" Kacey said in surprise.
She looked at Anderson, who simply smirked back, "We can't have the Normandy without the best helmsmen in the Alliance, can we?"
"No, you can't."
The Normandy flew past and fired missiles at the cannibals, obliterating them. As it turned, Kacey noticed how the ship, that had once flown with orange, now flew with the familiar shade of blue that was associated with the Alliance and even had their logo on it.
"About time!" Anderson said, "Now then, Kacey! Move it!"
"Let's go!" she shouted as they ran towards the Normandy. The ships shuttle bay doors opened, with both James and Kaidan on the other side, guns in hand. Kacey then jumped the six-foot gap effortlessly, with Kaidan catching her. She was initially caught off-guard by the move but decided to think nothing of it.
After all, it'll hurt more if you do.
"Welcome aboard, Shepard." Kaidan said.
"Thanks." She replied. It was a brief, tense exchange, but once again, she tried to think nothing of it.
"Shepard!" Anderson caught her attention.
"Come on!" Kacey shouted.
"I'm not going." He replied. Kacey looked at him with shock.
"Why the hell not?!"
"You saw those men back there. There's a million more like them, and they need a leader!"
"We're in this fight together, Anderson." Kacey replied firmly.
"It's a fight we can't win, not without help. You know that."
She did. She painfully did. She could hear James run back up the ramp inside the Normandy while Kaidan remained in place, silently observing the conversation.
"We need every species and all their ships to even have a chance at defeating the Reapers. Talk to the Council. Convince them to help us."
"What if they won't listen?"
"Then make them listen!" Anderson shouted, "You are a natural leader, Shepard. You'll get it done! Now, go! That's an order!"
"I don't take orders from you anymore, remember."
"I thought you might say that." Anderson shouted before pulling something out of his pocket, "Consider yourself reinstated, Commander!"
Kacey caught the item he threw; it was her dog tag. She remembered having to hand it over six months ago. Another difficult memory she didn't want to relive.
"You know what you have to do!" Anderson shouted again, "And think about what I said, Kacey! You as well, Kaidan! Now, go!"
"I will." Kaidan replied.
"So will I." Kacey added, "I'll be back for you, and I'll bring every fleet I can! Good luck!"
"You too, Kacey."
Kacey started to walk up the ramp before she heard Anderson shout again, "You're a lot like your father, you know."
Kacey turned around, a small, meek smile on her face, "I know."
As Anderson ran back down towards the harbour, she walked up to the top of the ramp, where Kaidan was standing, with James further inside. She avoided their gazes as the Normandy took off. Her emotions were a mess, her head was a mess.
How on earth was she supposed to win this?
She could see dozens of Alliance shuttles land across the harbour, filled with the civilians them were to evacuate to who knows where. She knew there was nowhere they could hide that the Reapers wouldn't find them. Even though she was standing on a ship with Joker, Kaidan, EDI and James…
She was worried for the rest of her crew. Her friends.
She had already lost a lot of people in her life. Far too many. The feeling of loss was one she had grown badly accustomed to. When many would argue, she shouldn't have to. And yet, seeing all of this left her with a sickening feeling. One she could not fully describe. Was it dread? Fear? Anxiety? It was hard to tell.
She saw the shuttles full of people rise into the air, but the barely got off the ground before the loud sound of a Reaper priming its laser thundered through the air; and destroyed the ships, killing every signal person inside with one blast. She looked away; she couldn't face it. It was so unlike her but, then again this was not something she had grown used to.
As the shuttle bay doors finally closed, Kacey stormed past Kaidan and James without a backwards glance at the pair. She needed to be alone.
Alone, somewhere but here.