For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1
The Journals of Elizabeth Anne Green
Chapter 4
Saturday, August 20th
Daddy, Otis, Jimmy and Maggie went out to try to get the water wheel from the old mill and met Mr. Haywood and his three oldest sons. He has seven sons and a daughter. Pricilla is 12. Mrs. Haywood has often said that Pricilla was the reason they have so many children. If she had come sooner there wouldn't be so many. Mrs. Haywood treats her like a doll, and Pricilla revels in the attention. David, Peter and Paul along with their Father were very excited about the prospect of getting the mill running. In exchange for help getting fuel and such, they helped get the old wheel off the axle.
Old Man Jim has been staying on his farm which is right next to the Haywood's farm, and they may all come up to our farm together on Monday to get the new wheel built and installed. Old Man Jim is at least 90 and as spry as a 20 year old. He claims it's the whiskey that keeps him young. He is also a terrible flirt. He has been running his farm alone since I can remember. He knew my grandfather and sometimes they traded labor and stuff. I'm sure Old Man Jim will know lots of things about how to run the mill and get it working. Daddy is sure too. Daddy may even offer him the guest room until things blow over in exchange for his expert advice.
Today while they were off on their adventure, Aunt Patti taught me how to skim cream and make butter. We don't have a butter mold so she showed me how to line a loaf pan with waxed paper and pack it down. Then we put it in a bucket of cold water to float around in while it cooled. This evening we took it out of the loaf pan by pulling the paper edges up. Then we cut it into sticks. We seasoned one pan with cinnamon and sugar for toast and pancakes and biscuits. The other 2 pans are just plain salted butter. Monday she is going to show me the recipes for some savory butters and garlic butter for making garlic bread. I need to go help Jimmie and Maggie haul water so that everyone can get their bathes.
Sunday, August 21st
Not much to write, I'm afraid. We seem to be falling into a bit of a routine. I'm not complaining, far from it really. Getup and feed everyone. Feed the animals, milk the three milch cows, collect the eggs. Come inside and wash up. Get church clothes on. Don't race to get in the car because we're staying home. Be at the entry to the parlor by 10 o'clock sharp. Daddy gets testy if he has to delay meeting for you. Play some hymns so everyone in the house knows the meeting is going to start. Sit and listen. Fulfill your assignment (prayer or talk) and politely wait your turn to speak during class discussions. Patti, Maggie and I cook a small lunch and a bigger dinner.
Today's theme was service, and about how the Lord shows his love for us by serving us and doing good things for us. Even though sometimes everything seems to be going wrong, if we see things through, when we look back later we can see G-d's hand working for our good. Sort of like when Jennie's car broke down on her way to work last January. Her phone picked the wrong time to die and she had forgotten her charger at home. Since she was closer to the Little Sue than to home she started walking to work because she had thought that she could call her dad to help her get it towed from work. Well, she was an hour and a half late. If she had been on time she would have been there when a couple of guys robbed the store. Mike was still there waiting for her. Even though he was roughed up a bit he gave as good as he got. The guys who did it had hurt a woman the next town over really bad the week before. I still remember how shaken up about it she was, and everything was over when she got there.
Or how I burnt a sheet and learned to patch it up prettier than it was before.
The only thing that deviated from what is becoming our Sabbath routine is that we spent the evening getting the house ready for company. Pattie brought up a few jars of peaches and a tub of lard she had made a few weeks before. We made pie crusts for tomorrow so it won't ruined by the heat of the day. The key to good pie crust is handling it as little as possible and keeping it all cold.
It's getting dark and Daddy doesn't want us using up the flashlights.
Monday, August 22nd
I'm pretty sure that they spent half the day just chit chatting and measuring. They measured every side of everything. They measured inside angles and outside angles. The only difference between the new wheel and the original is that Daddy used the generator to run power tools to make all the parts and the original was hewn by hand. Daddy and Otis were able to salvage most of the metal parts. The ones they couldn't reuse, Dave was able to use as patterns to make new ones from some metal scrap and the acetylene welding torch in the workshop.
Mr. Haywood brought a doe he poached out of season. He, Old Man Jim, Otis, Jimmy and Daddy spent a lot of time debating whether it's ethical or not seeing as the game warden is Ill. Daddy argued that not getting caught doesn't make it less wrong, Otis thinks a man should be able to feed his family as long as he's not being greedy and uses the animal as entirely as possible, Old Man Jim has always been outspoken about government overreach and personal responsibility. Jimmy was concerned about a lack of interest in conservation of wildlife and ruining ecosystems by endangering the deer. Never mind that deer tend to over breed their grazing grounds if their population isn't culled regularly.
Mrs. Haywood brought canned sausage, kidney beans, canned chili, few bars of her organic goat milk and lavender soap, and best of all a few small bottles of goat milk and honey lotion. We didn't send them of empty. We sent several quarts of peaches, strawberry jam and boysenberry syurup.
She promised to lend me a book on how to make it tomorrow when we all meet at the mill to get the new wheel set up. She makes it year round to sell at the farmers market and it's usually very popular. This year she said she has more than she could ever use because the farmers market ended almost as soon as it began this year. She and Pricilla said they will have some rose petal shampoo and conditioner for us when we meet up to mill the wheat and corn. I'm sure looking forward to it.
She is really into organic cleaners and not using chemicals and told me a few things I can do for the laundry and house if we run out of other cleaners. Prissy and I went along the tree line and she showed me what which hazel, yarrow and a few other disinfecting herbs look like. I showed her the tree house, and after our snack we went back to the house with a small basket of the witch hazel we had picked.
Mrs. Haywood, Maggie and Patricia spent most of the morning comparing notes on what had been going on and how it may have started. Prissy and I got back just in time to help make lunch for everyone. Jimmy, James and Hank set out the saw horses in the yard, laid old doors from the shed across them and then scrounged out the folding chairs. With Mrs. Haywood and Prissy's help we managed to put out quite a spread for so many people.
I suppose I should write a bit of something about everyone so here goes:
Mr. Haywood has a farm about 6 miles south of us on Elders Mill Road. He grows mostly organic tomatoes and cucumbers and orchard fruits. He also grows a lot of oats, wheat and hay.
I already wrote about Mrs. Haywood.
Dave is their oldest he is 24 and works in a machine shop in town. He is divorced, and his ex wife moved to Virginia with their son and her new husband.
Paul is about Maggie's age they went to school together. He was home from school like Maggie. He was studying agriculture.
Peter is close to Shawn's age and is an assistant manager at Food Lion. Maggie says he is a gigolo. He seems ok to me.
Hank graduated just a few months ago. He seems pretty level headed. He drove here with some of his brothers. He likes to work on cars and wanted to show off how he fixed his up. It looks real nice. He said that on the way here he was able to go from 0 to 100 miles in under 2 minutes. That is way too fast for most of the roads between here and their farm.
James is a computer nerd. He spent a lot of time telling me all about the solar power system he put together so he can play his video games. He's kind of devastated about how he can't connect with World of Warcraft. He was in my math and English classes last year. He's Ok I guess.
Steven was going to be starting at the High School next week. He's disappointed. I can't blame him really.
Daniel is in middle school. Mrs. Haywood had him running around fetching things and being a general go'fer.
Old Man Jim is a real card. Maggie was taking lemonade to the table he was at and he grabbed her butt. I'm surprised she didn't dump it on his head. Probably because he's so old. He mostly grows corn and soybeans and has a pumpkin patch that Newnan Elementary brings the kids to on field trips each October.
Tuesday, August 23rd
The Mill is up and running. Realized we don't have any flour bags. We will make flour bags out of sheets tomorrow. Maggie, Otis, Dave, Peter and Paul got a bunch of pillowcases and sheets from the Roses department store. Spent most of the day sewing flour and cornmeal bags. Tuckered out.
P. S. Got the book about making lotions and stuff from Mrs. Haywood. She said I can give it back in when we mill the wheat and corn.
Wednesday, August 24th
Laundry Day, I miss the washer, 'nough said.
After laundry I made more flour bags. Daddy and Otis are working getting the corn cut and dried. The wheat has been sitting in the silo since the end of June. Usually it's taken to the co-op and they arrange the sale with the big commercial mills. Otis thinks he can "borrow" one of the big trucks from the co-op to move the grain from the silo to our mill, since he drove from the co-op to all the local farms every year before all this.
The treadle machine was really weird to use at first. It doesn't have a bottom spool. Instead it does this thing Patti calls a chain stitch. You have to tie it carefully at the beginning and the end of your seam. Apparently they only use it on bags of animal feed anymore but it used to be the standard stitch "back in the day". It's the stitch that you pull that makes the bag fall open if you pull it too fast. To keep the cloth from fraying, since there is no zigzag, you make two seams. The first to hold it together. Then you press the seam allowance inside and stitch it so that the original seam is in kind of a casing. She called it a French seam.
Monday everyone will be at the mill to get the flour and cornmeal ground. Patti, Mrs. Haywood, Prissy, Maggie and I are going to sew the bags shut in shifts because it gives the calves a good workout. Yesterday I sat sewing bags for an hour and a half straight trying to get the French seams right. When I got up for a drink my calves cramped up so bad I fell. Since then Patti and Maggie and I have been switching every half hour or so to walk around and do other things.
On another note, Daddy brought up that ordinarily school would be starting in a week. Since everything closed up after they relocated the refugee camp to Atlanta, the school looks to be closed for the long run. Otis says Newnan High School is completely overrun with the sick and is too dangerous to go near. I think Otis, Jimmy and Maggie are going to try the Barnes and Noble in Newnan or the Books-A-Million in Peachtree. If all else fails there is still the Library. I'm pretty sure Jimmy isn't as enthusiastic as he's acting. He hates math and if he comes across math books he's likely to pretend not to see them. I had geometry last year so I'm looking forward to Algebra II. Daddy wants me to make a list of ten books (they have to be classics) that I would like to read and write him reports on. I was looking through my papers and found a copy of 100 Books You Should Read Before You Die. I read some of them my freshman and sophomore years. Well here's my list:
Canterbury Tales
The Old Man and the Sea
Great Expectations
Grimm's Fairy Tales
How to Win Friends and Influence People
The Odyssey
War and Peace
The Princess Bride
Beowulf
The Art of War
I hope that when things get back to normal I won't be too far behind to graduate. I'm really looking forward to Mama, Daddy, Shawn and Maggie watch me walk across the stage, throwing my cap with the rest of my class and hanging my blue and gold tassel from the rearview mirror of the car.
Thursday, August 25th
We decided to stop sewing when we got to 300 bags. Daddy thinks each bag will hold 45-50lb of flour. If we fill them all that's 15000 lb. If you add how many Mrs. Haywood and Prissy manage to make it will be a lot. She is going to use a regular electric sewing machine because of the solar power James put together for his games.
We made more lard today. Patty has been saving any type of fat we get from venison to chicken. She only keeps the beef fat separate. That's for cooking with. The rest is for tallow. She said I could probably use it in place of paraffin and beeswax in the soap and lotion recipes. The beeswax she may decide to use for candles later. I'm just glad she did it outside because while it wasn't awful it wasn't exactly pleasant either. She also had me burn some branches that fell out of one of the oak trees in the last storm so we can make lye for the laundry. I think she is intending for us to make soap.
Daddy and Otis are avoiding leaving the farm if they don't have too. They said there are a lot of the sick wandering in groups and that they can be dangerous. The trip out to the mill Monday and the side trip for seeds and school books will likely be the last trips they make until this blows over.
Speaking of the ill, there must be at least 60 in the barn now. When I went to help Otis and Daddy put a couple of women in today there wasn't a lot of room left. Two of them got through the west pasture fence and ripped up a calf. They must have been so hungry and suffering so much to do that with bare hands. Such sad ladies. Maggie and I put one of Mama's housecoats on one of them because her dress was so shredded from being outside and probably getting caught on the fence, that it left almost nothing to the imagination. We couldn't find any ID on them. I pray that when they are well again that they will be able to rejoin their families.
Friday, August 26th
Yes indeed. Patti had Maggie and I made soap. We gathered a ton of witch hazel to chop up and add to it to make the soap good for disinfecting. We put mint in it too, because it's strong enough to cover the scent of the witch hazel. The soap for bodies we put honey, cream and lavender in. To finish off she let me make some flavored lip balms from honey and beeswax. I also made some of the herbal healing creams from the book. Witch hazel for wounds, spearmint and willow bark extract for sprains, and spearmint and sassafras for congestion. I'm glad we started early because we were finished before lunch.
I intend to spend the rest of the day copying the recipes that look the most useful into my glitter ruby red notebook that I got at the same time I bought this one. I only have today, tomorrow and Sunday before I have to give Mrs. Haywood back her book. Sunday doesn't really count because it's for other things. So I will be in the tree house while Daddy, Jimmy and Otis turn the scruff left over from the hay back into the ground and replant it in clover. Daddy is going to follow Otis in the old orange tractor spreading seeds. Otis is going to drive his big tractor with the disk blades to turn manure and scruff under behind Jimmy. Jimmy gets to drive the smaller tractor with the manure spreader. Yuck. I guess they will be taking our soap for a test drive before dinner.
SaTuRdAy, AuGuSt 27tH
ToDaY DaDdY, JiMmY aNd OtIs WeNt tO dO To OtIs' fIeLdS wHaT tHeY dId To DaDdYs FiElDs YeStErDaY. wE aLl WeNt. WhIlE tHeY dId ThAt pAtTi, MaGgIe AnD i AiReD aNd ClEaNeD tHeIr hOuSe. ClEaNiNg ThE fRiDgE wAs ThE wOrSt. SmElL. eVeR. wHeN tHeY cAmE tO sTaY wItH uS ThEy HaDn'T iNtEnDeD tO sTaY sO lOnG. tHeY aLsO hAdN't FiGuReD oN pOwEr LoSs. MeAt, mIlK, eGgS, vEgGiEs AnD lEfToVeRs. MaGgIe AnD i WeNt A bIt OuT fRoM tHe HoUsE nEaR tHe WoOdS tO dIg A hOlE fOr It AlL. yOu CaN't CoMpOsT mEaTy ThInGs AnD wE dIdN't WaNt To SoRt It. MoSt Of It WaS tOo GoOeY tO sOrT aNyWaY. pAtTi StAyEd In ThE hOuSe To ScRaPe ThE cOnTaInErS oUt wItH a KeRcHiEf OvEr HeR fAcE, bUt ShE sTiLl LoOkEd IlL wHeN wE cAmE bAcK iN.
hEr WeLl OnLy HaS aN eLeCtRiC pUmP sO mAgGiE sHoWeD uS hOw To UsE tHe JuMpEr CaBlEs To HoOk It Up To ThE cAr'S bAtTeRy AnD gEt It RuNnInG. tHe StOvE iS gAs So We WeRe AbLe To HeAt Up WaTeR tO wAsH dIsHeS aNd EvErYtHiNg ElSe ToO. pLuS, sHe HaD pInE-sOl AnD dAwN aNd BlEaCh AnD tIdE aNd GrEaSeD lIgHtNiNg! I kNoW. 6 mOnThS aGo I wOuLdN't HaVe BeEn So ImPreEsSeD.
i MaDe SuRe ThE mAkE-a-MiX bOoK gOt PuT aWaY pRoPeRlY. i AlReAdY pUt AlL tHe ReCiPeS i GeNeRaLlY uSe InTo My ReD nOtEbOoK. sHe Is LeTtInG Me bArRoW hEr ReAdErS DiGeSt CoMpLeTe GuIdE tO cRaFtS aNd HoBbIeS. iT hAs BaSiC bAsKeT mAkInG iN iT. tHe PlAsTiC oNeS mAmA hAs ArE aBoUt SpEnT sO iF i CaN mAkE sOmE nEw OnEs ThAt WoUlD bE gReAt.
BeFoRe ThEy CaMe In FrOm ThE hAy FiElDs, OtIs, JiMmY aNd DaDdY wEnT tO tHe Co-Op'S gArAgE aNd GoT oNe Of ThE tRuCkS aNd A tRaIlEr WiTh A mOvInG fLoOr AnD hAd AlReAdY fIlLeD iT wItH wHeAt FrOm OtIs' SiLo FoR mOnDaY. wE aRe GoInG tO mIlL a TrAiLeR oF wHeAt AnD oF cOrN fRoM eAcH fArM. oTiS', tHe HaYwOoD's, OlD mAn JiM's AnD oUrS.
oLd MaN jIm ToOk ThAt StIlL tHaT hAd BeEn In ThE rOoT cElLaR aNd LeT iT bE kNoWn ThAt He Is GoInG tO mAkE hIs OlD mAn'S mOoNsHiNe ReCiPe WiTh AbOuT a QuArTeR oF hIs GrAiN. hE sAyS hE iS dOwN tO 12 cAsEs Of JaCk DaNiElS aNd He'S tRiEd To CuT bAcK bUt He KnOwS tHaT aT hIs AgE tEe Dt'S wIlL pRoLlY kIlL 'iM iF hE rUnS oUt CoMpLeTeLy. 'PaReNtLy He HaS nEvEr ThOwN a WhIsKeY bOtTlE aWaY aNd HaS pLeNtY fOr BoTtLiNg It If Ya DoN't MiNd It BeInG mIsLaBeLeD. dAdDy ThInKs ThAt MiGhT nOt Be A gOoD iDeA. tHe TuBiNg Is OlD aNd It'S a BiT bAnGedD uP.
tHiS rOaD iS bUmPy AnD tHaT's WhY It'S aS mEsSy As It Is So I tHiNk I wIlL fInIsH lAtEr.
Sunday, August 28th
Today we had Sunday meeting about G-d's plan of Happiness. Basically we are here on this planet to learn and grow, but it's also a test. That is why adversity is called a trial, like when a car manufacturer put new designs through trials. A trial is a test to see what works and what doesn't. If something is going wrong or not working they figure out a way to fix it. They are constantly trying new better ways to fix problems in the hope of one day making a perfect car. We should be constantly trying to improve ourselves, learning and growing. When we aren't doing right we need to figure out what's wrong with our hearts and minds that we are screwing up and fix it with repentance and prayer. Our goal should be to become a perfect person. Will we ever be perfect? Of course not. There will never be a perfect car that never has any problems either. The whole point is to try our best. This test isn't graded by how many answers you get right or how many problems you fix. It's how much effort you put into it that really matters. Slacking off and goofing off won't get you anywhere, even if you think you have the answers.
That's kind of why Jesus told the rich young man to give all his stuff to the poor. He thought he already had all the answers. He lived his entire life perfectly by the law of Moses, he was already good at that. When he had to do something hard he couldn't put forth the effort and sacrifice necessary. Even if he had only been able to give a fraction of his stuff away, it would have been better than a flat out "No, I can't." without even trying.
When the widow only gave a mite which was like a penny-not very much- Jesus called it a good offering. Many people gave more than her but she gave all she had. So basically, Try, Try, Try your hardest. G-d gives E's for effort and an E is the best grade you can get.
The other thing is that as we encourage our families to do their best and as long as we do our best we get to be with our families forever. My grandparents are on the other side of the veil. Even Daddy's father. They are watching and rooting for me. They love me as much now as they did before. And so is Gertie. I'm sure she is watching and waiting too.
On another note, but still in the realm of self improvement and honest evaluations and effort, my goals
Work ethic:
I was unable to maintain steady employment, but I can honestly say, it wasn't my fault. Generally I hate excuses. I hate myself making excuses, however I have no idea how a major epidemic could possibly be my fault, or how I could have for seen or prevented it.
However, I am still doing the laundry, ironing and mending, which has ballooned into more physical labor than I've ever done in my life until now. On the bright side, hauling water, scrubbing, and cranking the wringer has really toned me up. My waist has trimmed, my butt is rounder, and my arms are strong enough that for the first time in my life I can pull myself hand over hand up the rope next to the fire ladder in to the tree house, and do pull ups.
I am still working on listen more talk less, but for the most part I'm doing really good.
I think I'm doing better at being compassionate and being more positive about annoying people. Prolly 'cause I haven't been around a lot of people 'ceptn family, and while Maggie steps on my nerves babying me all the time I know that it's just 'cuse she loves me and she means well.
And Jimmy hooverin' all the time. Daddy thinks it's cute and even indicated to me "subtly" that "cousins are ok to date technically because the bible doesn't call it incest, and even more technically Jimmy was adopted so genetically he isn't related at all. Plus Otis and Patti would prolly be tickled." Eew yuck! Sorry, not sorry, they're gunna have to get used to disappointment on that front, even if Jimmy's ok with it. I'm pretty sure he's ok with it because he keeps trying to hold my hand and I keep moving it before he can, while trying to play stupid about the whole thing. I've been trying everything Maggie told me about friend zoning someone nicely 'cept I'm calling it cousin zoning. Unfortunately however I label it its not working.
Ok. Positives need work
3rd positive for Maggie- She gives good advice sometimes
1, Jimmy is polite
2, Jimmy is a hard worker
3, Jimmy is kind and always thinks the best of people
On to thankfulness. For a while I was worried that I would be giving thankyou notes to everyone on the farm so often that it would weird people out or encourage certain parties that I wish would remain unincouraged if you get my meaning. That said. With the recent company we have had I have already finished a thankyou letter to Mrs. Haywood for letting me use her book. While they were here I slipped a thank you note into Prissy's pocket for showing me some of the more useful herbs growing about the farm. I am sure that more opportunities to show gratitude will present themselves.
Singing to keep every ones spirits up has been successful, and once I started it was so easy I kept it up without really thinking about it.
Monday, August 29th
Well, everything went swimmingly. Swimming in flour. We all kept our faces covered after about 5 minutes. We ground and packed all of Otis' wheat into the flour bags. All the flour bags and divvied them up according to the number of people in each household. I think everyone has enough flour to last a decade. Otis refilled the trailer, only half way this time, with Old Man Jim's corn. ΒΌ will just be cracked for the still and the rest will be ground into cornmeal tomorrow.
When Old Man Jim found out about my Useful Recipe's notebook he insisted that I bring it tomorrow.
My lukewarm bath was lovely, the soap is lovely and the lotion is divine and I don't feel like I'm covered in gluey paste.
I returned the soap book with the thank you note tucked discreetly inside.
Tuesday, August 30th
Today was more gritty than gluey. Used up the pillow cases on the corn meal and cracked corn. I have no idea how long it will take to use it all. Probably years.
Old Man Jim spent most of the day writing in my ruby red notebook. He wrote very, very, very, detailed instructions for setting up a still, operating a still, testing the product for safety, temperatures, times, seasons, ect. Like I said, detailed, complete with diagrams. Then recipes. How to make wine from grapes, berries and herbs, complete with pictures of the herbs and berries to prevent mistakes. How to collect the cream of tarter from making the wine, and how to make distilled vinegar(with a still), and cider vinegar and peach vinegar. Also cider, hard cider, ale, beer, pilsner, whiskey, cordials, medicinal elixirs, and four kinds of seasonal moonshines. Oh, and also two maps. One of his farm showing how to get to his field of pot (no I'm not kidding), where his cash savings are, and all of his important personal documents. He also drew a second map labeled in latitude and longitude (of all things) showing how to get to a farm in the Appalachians that was his great grandfathers, to which there is a deed in his papers.
He even started off with a dedication to his godson/grand nephews apologizing for not protecting them and their mother from their father who should have been accidently shot while hunting. "G-d knows I had plenty of opportunity" That alone was two and a half pages, front and back in very small neat script.
The last page was probably the most flattering proposal I will probably ever get. It was sweet enough that if he hadn't been all of 90 at least, I might have said yes. The next time I see him I will prolly give him a kiss on the cheek.
The last paragraph is a request that when everything is under control that I give it to his godson and or his grand nephew "if I don't live long enough to see them my own self." Along with the explanation that every day he don't wake up dead is a miracle at his age. He done lived a very full life and just wants reunited with his Emily. I never knew he had been married but he had. His wife passed away from a bad miscarriage and he's been morning her at the bottom of a bottle for well on 63 years. That and repenting that he didn't do enough for his sister's daughter.
He was busy jumping and climbing all over the gear work and such, I don't know how he managed to write so much.
It's sad that someone could come to the end of their life and feel so much regret for not committing the worst sin of all. How could someone regret not committing a murder? Will Dixon sounds a lot like Grandfather Green. Funny that. I wonder if Daddy ever wishes someone had killed Grandfather Green or if he thought his life would have been better if his father had been absent? I know Daddy was an alcoholic before he met Mama. If he hadn't quit would he have been like his father or Will Dixon? Would I have wanted him to die or leave and never come back?
I'm so thankful that I don't know, and I hope I never find out. I think if someone told me they were sorry they hadn't killed my Daddy and that it was the worst regret they had I wouldn't like them very much at all. I'm not sure that I can give anyone a letter like that. I just can't believe it's fueled by hate though, mostly because there's tear stains all over those parts. I almost felt rude reading it, even if it is in my own personal notebook.
Wednesday, August 31st
I think the laundry helped me get all the flour and corn dust residue off of me. It's nice to be able to sit in the shade under a damp sheet magnifying the cooling breezes. It's convenient for splashing the sweat off every once in a while.
It was also good to soak the reeds that I cut from the cattails growing in the pond. I made a basket. It's not very pretty and I didn't have enough cattails to make it very big. Its also sort of lopsided and lumpy in a few places. It is good for berry picking. I picked it full of berries to can and preserve, but it was hot when I came in, and Maggie and Patti seemed deep in discussion and didn't appear to need me, so I left to follow the men around.
Daddy and Otis butchered one of the beef cows today. I went with them to visit the barn and see Mama, Shawn and Jennie from the top of the hay loft window. They took a quarter of beef to feed the ill. It seems that they will eat already dead things as long as it's fresh. Like, still warm kind of fresh. I just get this uneasy feeling, even with Daddy and Otis being there. I can't describe it really. It just feels so wrong.
Thursday, September 1st
Well today I got off the farm. Maggie took me to the library for school books. Daddy sent us with a long list. We left a list of the cal numbers on the desk so that when the library reopens the librarian will know where the books went.
Maggie "checked out" the huge dictionaty by the desk that you aren't supposed to be able to check out. She showed me that the very front has all of the spelling and grammer rules listed and explained. There is also more than 10 pages about the history of the English language and how it evolved from old Germanic and Celtic and how you can tell what words are borrowed or are influenced by words from other languages, especially the "Romance" languages. Anyway, I learned that dictionaries have a lot more information than just definitions. It has maps and even a brief history of the world.
Instead of getting the 10 books I picked out, we got every book on the 100 books list that I hadn't read. We also got books about every skill we could possibly need.
We also went to the office supply two buildings down and meant to just get notebooks, binders, pencils and pens. While I was looking at some stationary, I saw a beautiful dark brown leather journal with metal bands on the spine, and a blue watermarked satin flyleaf. The pages had gilt edging and there was a blue satin ribbon sewn into the spine. The best part is that the cover zips closed. While I was looking at it I heard Maggie's panicked scream to run to the car. I was so scared when she yelled that I forgot to put it back.
She saw it of course. She has eyes like a hawk. I tried to explain how I had ended up taking it, and she charged right in and interrupted me before I had barely started. She didn't see anything wrong with stealing it. She was actually surprised that I'm keeping a journal. She only thought I had the red one that I'm kind of using as a recipe book. I told her all about Sister Fansler's challenge and she said she would have kept a journal for that kind of a prize too.
I still feel bad despite her reassurances. The biggest reasons why I feel bad is that the price tag says $174.99. The only thing I own that comes close to it in price is my computer, and that used to be Maggie's. It was handed down to me because she got a new one for college.
I also told her about Old Man Jim's entry in the red one.
That's when she said a lot of things that have been sticking in my mind. Some very quietly whispered rumors that Old Man Jim had a reputation for clairvoyance and that in recent years he was driven to drink as much by grief as nightmares that he had refused to speak of. Apparently Mr. Haywood is Old Man Jim's second cousin and he rarely takes to anyone that's not family.
When he was younger and less experienced he was with his parents at church and he told the preacher that he would be in an accident in front of everybody in the congregation. Of course his parents were horrified that he would say such a thing and tried to shut him up. But he kept right on anyway and said the preachers girlfriend would be hurt but not to worried because she and the baby would be ok. It turned out no one had paid much attention to the fantastic tales of a little boy. They thought it was cute that he referred to the preacher wife as a girlfriend and that he had mistaken being quite fat with being in a family way. Then Maggie proceeded to relate that the preacher was indeed in a car accident with a young lady in the car from the next county over. He suffered a mild concussion, and she had a broken arm and went into labor 4 weeks early. Turned out she thought they were married but it was invalid because he had been married to his wife for almost 30 years. He might have been able to keep everything separate except that they were brought in by separate ambulances and so when the nurse recognized who he was she contacted the church to get a message to his wife, not knowing he had been with the woman in labor. Well when his wife got there he was being handed a baby. She thought maybe he was ministering to the family until she realized there was no family there for him to minister to and saw that the empty bassinet in the window was labeled "Baby Boy Griffith." His parents were of course horrified but they never disregarded his warnings again. They just told him not to talk to people about that kind of thing unless he told them first and they said it was okay. They rarely said it was okay.
While they were working at the mill Maggie and a couple of the Haywood boys had decided to go for a quick swim. They came upon Old Man Jim sitting on the catwalk near the wheel scribbling at a furious rate in an uncharacteristically girly notebook. He called out to them that if Dave's socks fell into the water to swim back to the mill side of the water post haste. Well sure enough, Dave's socks got knocked into the water by an ill man who was really poor off. When he saw it Dave made to go get his socks and bat at the man with the stick. Before he got a chance to swim the first stroke toward where every ones shoes and socks were, Peter and Hank called out to him while Paul managed to actually grab him. They stopped him just as 10 or 15 of the sick came out of the woods on that side of the river. Needless to say they got back quickly and Dave made them promise not to mention that he hadn't entirely paid attention to a warning from "The Old Man".
She told me bunches of things that the Haywood Boys had told her. Including how he helped his dad run a still through the depression and how they didn't get caught 'cause he always seemed to know when to shut down and move it, and how my grandfather had almost decided to convert the mill to a boat house until Jim convinced him otherwise.
Maggie doesn't think things are going to get better. She thinks the church presidency gathered everyone for a reason, and the reason was what we were running from in that store. She doesn't think Mama or Shawn or anyone are going to get better. One thing she said really got to me. "Bethy, that one in the barn that Daddy sewed shut because his intestines were hanging out? Well I had to help him while Otis and Jimmy held him down. Bethy, he had no liver. It looked like it had been ripped out. There was no blood and Daddy couldn't get him closed with regular stitches because the skin seemed to be rotting. He ended up having to use surgical mesh and staples. Bethy, even if there were a cure or vaccine, there is no way for a body to sustain itself, or live in such a state of decomposition. I know Daddy loves us, but they're dead. I don't know why they keep moving or how they manage to metabolize but the heart isn't beating."
At that point I made her stop. Mama's not dead. Shawn is not dead, and Jeannie is not dead. They can't be. Daddy is a vet. I think he would know the difference between alive and dead better than someone who hasn't even started pre veterinary.
Friday, September 2nd
I've started the Art Of War. He is very big on planning, sneakiness, being clever, and picking at your enemys weaknesses. Also manipulation. He sees the best battle to be a battle where the enemy surrenders without a fight, and also living off of the enemy's supplies instead of your own. Basicly, you can win any battle by considering 5 things. Moral law, Heavens, Earth, the Commander and Method and discipline. Moral Law just means that everyone in your army is on board without reservation, Heaven is stuff like weather conditions and timing, Earth is the terrain and distance. Commander is the wisdom, sincerity, benevolence, courage and strictness of the leaders. Method has to do with the chain of command and discipline. It's only about 40 pages. I will probably finish it tomorrow. Daddy wants me to write a page about how the principles in it can help with conflict resolution, turning situations to my advantage and how I can apply it to my life. I don't know what to write but I'm sure I'll think of something.
Otis and Daddy to slaughtered a couple of hogs today. Usualy they would have gone to auction but I don't know of anyone having one. They got the brine ready yesterday. They will soak the hams, shoulders, bellys, and jawls for a few days and then salt pack it and refrigerate it for a while. Then they are going to be smoked with peach wood that they saved from the tree pruning last fall. The rest will be frozen as cuts or made into sausage. The refrigeration is the only thing Daddy is using the generator for, and he is only running it for a few hours a day. Long enough to keep everything cold or frozen. Since the men moved the refrigerator and chest freezers down to the root cellar they don't get very warm so it would take a few days for the freezers to loose all their cold.
Moonbeam is getting so big. Every time she sees me she trots up to get her ears rubbed. She is almost 3 weeks old now and, although she is new to the world, I have caught her chomping on grain a few times. I wonder what she thinks of apples. I think I'll bring her a slice and give the rest to Nellie and the other horses.
Saturday, September 3rd
It is such a pretty day. I'm at the tree house today. Daddy and Otis went to check the fences and said I could wait here for them to get back. The only condition was that I had to promise to answer if they call on the radio. It's warm, but not unpleasantly so. The cooling breezes are stronger up here than on the ground. I am supposed to be finishing The Art of War, but I'm thinking that a nap would be about perfect.
Jimmy about scared me to death. I fell asleep and didn't hear Daddy on the radio so they came to check on me. Jimmy was able to climb the rope and decided to kiss me. I was asleep and I didn't expect that at all so without thinking I punched him in the face. His lips were thick and wet and gross. He didn't have bad breath or anything but I am just not interested. Since I hit him I don't think he's interested either. He has a big bruise on the side of his face now. Daddy says he isn't hurt to bad and the bruise should go away in a week or so. Maybe he will learn to respect peoples personal space.
Three nice things about Jimmy are that he is helpful, kind and good at fishing.
I think Aunt Patti has been encouraging him. I hope this doesn't make things awkward Monday when we start getting tutored in math by Maggie. Since we are in the same grade we get to share "lessons".
It turns out that the reason I only had to pick out 10 books is the same reason Jimmy got to pick out 10 books. We both get to pick out books to read. We will trade books at the end of two weeks. Then we will get to discuss the two books and "grade" each others papers. Aunt Patti is going to check our grammar and spelling. It's a good thing we get 2 weeks to read each book. Jimmy is reading Gulliver's Travels.
I think The Art of War is the shortest book either of us selected. By the way, I'm done with it. Fortunately it was a quick read because I still have 2 weeks to figure out what to write. I may just read it again to stall on the writing part. Maybe something will come to me on the second reading.
Sunday, September 4th
Daddy taught the Sunday lesson today. The general topic was on the importance of learning. I think he was trying to emphasize that just because the University of Georgia isn't opening for classes, and the local schools are still closed, doesn't mean we get to stop learning. Learning is a life long thing. Daddy talked about how no matter how many times you have read the scriptures and prayed about them, you should do it again. Every time you read the Bible or The Book of Mormon different things will pop out at you. Usually what pops out at you is what you needed at that time.
I used to think it was kind of funny how the creation is in both the Bible and the Pearl of Great Price. One night I was thinking about it and I was saying my prayers I remembered that Sister Fansler used to tell us that whenever G-d repeats Himself it's because it's super important. We may not know why it's important, but, eventually, when the time is right for us we will understand. Line upon line, precept upon precept.
I discovered that Maggie is going to "apprentice" under Daddy. Daddy is going to have her read through Grzimacs Zooology, his old text books, and Dr. Pierce's text books. Dr. Pierce left his books in the veterinary office when he left to go to the refugee camp. He is also going to take her with him to the other farms to collect livestock that has been left behind. Mostly types and breeds we don't already have. I believe they are specifically look for llama's, goats, alpacas and maybe a dog for now. Maggie mentioned something about the Atlanta Zoo, but I don't think she needs to go looking for lions, tigers or bears. They should stick to looking for sick cattle for her to practice on. Not things that would be ok eating her.
I think I've learned a lot over the summer. I can mend, sew by hand, and both electric and treadle sewing machine. I learned how to do laundry by hand and iron with a flat iron. I can make lots of things, like baskets. I've made goals and stuck to them.
I'm going to think about 3 new goals to start tomorrow. I'm closing the old ones. I think they are well and truly accomplished. I will write my new ones down tomorrow.
Monday, September 5th
First I'm going to write my goals with an explanation as to why I picked my goals, then, I will write about today.
S specific: I will improve my handwriting.
M measurable: yes by comparison with handwriting now and in 2 months.
A attainable: yes, I just have to be more carefull and practice.
R relevant: Yes. Without my computer and printer working people are going to have to be able to read my handwriting.
T time bound: 2 months
I'm going to do this because I had to redo my rough draft about the Art of War. Aunt Patty told me she isn't going to wear out her eyes reading what I write. She said, "Poor handwriting is like stuttering" The whole point of writing is that someone might read it. I'm defeating my purpose if it's hard for anyone to read. I will start off by practicing the penmanship strokes she showed me today until I cover one sheet of paper, front and back, every day for a week. Then I will write out the alphabet to cover a piece of paper front and back daily for the rest of my goal time. While I'm practicing strokes I'm going to find the person who's handwriting I like the most and then when I get to actually practicing the letters I will try my best to copy it.
S specific: I'm going to get better at making baskets
M measurable: Yes by comparison.
A attainable: yes, through practice and hard work.
R relevant: yes, because I'm down to one usable but in poor condition laundry basket.
T time bound: One month because I will be lucky if the basket I have left makes it that long.
Daddy says it's getting more dangerous to leave the farm and I totally agree. The thing is, I'm down to using only one basket because the other three got busted. The laundry is heavy, and sometimes those plastic baskets crack and break. Sitting in the sun while I'm doing the laundry isn't good for the plastic either. It makes it brittle. I would like to avoid having to tie the laundry up in the sheets. It creases the corners and is hard to iron out.
S specific: Learn to darn socks.
M measurable: Yes, I will or I won't.
A attainable: I hope so.
R relevant: Yes, most everyone has socks in serious need of repair.
T time bound: Before winter.
Doing the laundry, I think I have an idea how everyone is doing as far as clothes. About a quarter of the socks I wash have holes somewhere. My pink and green striped ones, in particular. I'm not sure if Aunt Patti knows how. I can say that few of hers, Jimmy's or Otis' socks have holes, It's mostly Daddy's, Maggie's and my socks that need fixed. Since Aunt Patti has been doing her own mending and their socks are doing better, I think she may. I intend to ask her tomorrow because she mends on Tuesdays.
As far as how "school" is going I'm not sure. Patti has an excellent grasp of the English language. I spent most of the morning writing my rough draft, and then, rewriting my rough draft. I did catch a bunch of mistakes during the rewrite so it wasn't all bad. Then I wrote out the grammar rules from the front of the dictionary also. I'm supposed to memorize them.
Maggie had me skip counting by 3's, 4's, 6's, 7's, 8's and 9's because I didn't finish the math drills she gave me as fast as she thought I should have, and she agrees with Patti, that my handwriting sucks.
Jimmy and I took turns reading the history book out loud. We switched every other paragraph and then answered the questions separately. Then we swapped papers and checked each other's papers. Jimmy had me read my answers to him.
I think the real reason no one has read you is that maybe people have tried but gave up. I'm undecided as to whether that's good or not.
Tuesday, September 6th
Today I redid the math drills Maggie gave me yesterday and I was faster. Then she had me do all the odd number long division out of the review chapter. Jimmy got evens so that we don't try to "compare notes.
We did history the same way today as yesterday. I still had to read my answers to Jimmy.
I copied more grammar rules out of the dictionary. I practiced letter strokes.
Aunt Patti does know how to darn. She and Mama both learned how during a Relief Society Super Saturday. She is also going to show me how to knit socks and turn a heel.
I got permission from Daddy to trim one of the willow trees. He offered to do it for me when I told him why. He is even going to split them for me. The plastic basket is 18 inches long across the bottom, and about 10 inches tall. I asked him to cut them at least 45 inches long so I don't have to make everything absolutely perfect.
I smell bread.
Wednesday, September 7th
Shawn's arm fell off or came off, some how! How does a person's arm just fall off? It's all rotten. It's not like we can ice it and sew it back on at the hospital. Daddy and Otis got him with the catch pole while Maggie and I distracted the rest of everyone in the barn. Jimmy ran in and out to retrieve the arm. Otis and Jimmy and Patti and I held him down while Daddy and Maggie tried to piece the tissues together but most of it was too gummy to hold a stitch, and finally after an hour or so gave it up as a bad job.
I think my ribs are going to bruise from laying across his legs to keep him from kicking. I think intellectually, that it's impossible to rot like that and be falling apart and still be alive. Then I remember how one of my Sunday school teachers described leprosy. I see him moving and feel him kicking and snapping trying to bite and scratch people and know he has to be alive. He is cold and has no pulse that I could feel. It is so faint. Maybe leprosy and rabies got together and had a baby?
I guess when this is all over he will have to get a prosthetic. It will be okay. Mr. Donnelly was the football coach and he had a really cool prosthetic leg. It had the school colors on it and the mascot. Every year he would get a picture of the football team made and a copy would be put on it. If you looked at it you could see a picture of every team since 1998. He could run too.
I got 3 socks darned yesterday. My pink and green ones and one of Daddy's blue ones. I had to use Mama's freestanding magnifier. It's really not hard, just time consuming. The darning mushroom is just a stuffed sock end you use to stretch out the spot that needs darned so you can spot the threads and reweave the knitting.
We all had early baths after dealing with Shawn. Fortunately I had finished with washing the laundry and was just waiting for it to dry. I had left the water in the tubs to soak the willows so we didn't end up hauling more. I made sure every one knew to leave the willows in the water while bathing.
The book said they don't do so well the second time they get soaked, and they need to soak 1 hour per inch of length of the willows. They have to stay submerged. I did end up hauling more water after the baths for the willows because I don't want the willows to smell like rotten meat at all. They weren't out of the water more than a minute or two because I put them all in the cleanest tub and dumped the other two tubs. Then I cleaned the tubs and refilled them and transferred the willows to the fresh water and dumped the tub they had been in, refilled it and redistributed the willows so that none of them would poke out of the water and dry out. I should be able to start weaving on Friday.
Thursday, September 8th
After school work and chores were done Otis and Jimmy went out to scavenge gasoline. When they came back the whole back of the pickup was full of stacked gas and diesel cans. Otis was right behind Jimmy driving a natural gas truck. Usually we only need the tank outside the house filled two or three times a year. I don't know how many years worth of natural gas is in that tanker.
The willows have been soaking over 24 hours now and are much more bendy than they had been.
I've been darning daily and am getting faster at
it. I've done about 16 now.
Friday, September 9th
Basketry success! I made a basket that was the right size. I tried to make it a rectangle but it came out oval shaped instead. It is actually very even all around and although I pinched my fingers pretty well, I managed to get the weave pretty tight. I started as soon as breakfast cleanup was done and finished the rim of the basket in time to help make dinner. I have enough willows to make two or three more baskets but that will have to wait for tomorrow.
Saturday, September 10th
After dinner Aunt Patti taught me how to cast onto the knitting needles and do a garter stitch. I am going to make knitted potholders to get the basics of knitting. She wants me to be proficient in the garter stitch, stockinet, ribbing, pearling and the seed stitch before we start on socks. Since we really don't need a huge slew of potholders, I think I will stitch them together and make a blanket with them. Once I was able to do 5 rows without dropping stitches or messing anything else up we moved on to the main thing
Making socks. Aunt Patti says there are 4 ways to make socks, one is to crochet them, two is to use a bendy knitting needle, three uses 3 or more needles to make a ring, and the fourth is to knit it flat and sew a seam along the bottom and back.
She is showing me the crochet method first, mostly because I already know how to crochet. It only took about an hour for us to crochet the first sock, and I made the second one in about 45 minutes. They are thick and although they turned out well, I think this pair will be better suited as slippers. I will need a thinner yarn and to fit it to the foot to wear it several times to get the close fit required to wear them in shoes comfortably.
Sunday, September 11th
Maggie had the lesson today and it was about James 1:5; which says "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of G-d, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not: and it shall be given him."
Learning is something G-d wants us to do, and if we want to know something He will help us figure it out. G-d loves us each individually, and wants us to return to Him. He wants us to learn everything we can. If we really want to know something, and it will be useful to us, He will tell us what we need to know.
Joseph Smith Jr., had a burning question that was important to him, and even though he was a poor uneducated boy, God spoke to him face to face to answer his one simple question. Which church should I join?
The Brother of Jared was going on a long journey in a boat to a place he knew nothing about. He was going to be shut up inside a boat, in the dark for weeks or more. He prayed and asked G-d what to do for light and it was given to him.
Joseph was far from home and in prison for a crime he didn't commit. In order to have any hope of getting out he had to tell Pharaoh Pharaohs own dream and interpret it. He prayed and all was shown to him.
Shawn, Mama, Jennie, and all the rest of the people in the barn are so bad off. The smell is awful, like the way that swelled up deer carcass Shawn and I came upon that one time. Shawn dared me to poke it with a stick and it was so rotten that the stick punctured its side. The smell was exactly like how the barn smells. It's so bed you can smell it from near the worn dirt ring that goes around when the wind is blowing. As if that wasn't bad enough, Shawn isn't the only one starting to lose pieces. Mama's scalp is completely peeled off and her left ear is dangling. Jennie has skinless patches all over. The others aren't faring any better and some are far worse.
I can't stand it. I can't stop thinking about it. I just can't. I'm starting to think Maggie is right. If they do find a cure, and their minds heel that would be amazingly wonderful. But what about all the damage to their bodies, could that ever be fixed? If they're dead what do we do with them? If they're dead, what is making them move? Are they possessed? Is it something else?
I think I'm going to ask of G-d. I'm going to fast and pray starting as soon as I get ready for bed. If I am meant to know, I will know. If I'm not then I won't. But I'm going to give it to G-d and let him handle it in his own time and in his own way.
I'm going to finish knitting my stockinet square before dark, and then I am going to go to bed.