The Journals of Elizabeth Green

by GloomFlower

What starts off as a summer project turns into a look at the Z/A through the eyes of a teenage girl as she begins her journey through life.

5. Chapter 5

For the disclaimer, please see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1

The Journals of Elizabeth Anne Green

Chapter 5

Monday, September 12th

I made two more baskets today. I guess I was pretty slow with the first one Friday, or maybe the extra soaking made the willows easier to work with. The point is, that they came out about the same shape and size as the first one. If you set them next to each other you can see that the weaving gets tighter and more even with each basket. I have enough left to make one more small basket but my hands are sore so I'm just going to let them soak until tomorrow and make it then. I think I'm going to put a handle on it and use it to keep clothes pins in.

We all spent an hour or so in the garden weeding. It's sweaty work but we still managed to have fun. At one point it turned into a weed fight. I'm not sure who started it, but it ended as soon as Daddy walked up and in his quiet calm way asked "What is going on?" Surprisingly enough it only took about ten minutes or so to clean up the mess.

We filled the wheelbarrow twice, there were so many. I think weeding once a week isn't enough. We should probably do it Fridays also. The weed heap is getting pretty big and will need to be burned soon. We don't compost the weeds because that would mean we are adding weed seeds to the garden every time we add compost.

I think I'm going to get a head start on the next book even though Jimmy hasn't finished Gulliver's Travels. The Sea Hawk sounds so interesting.

Tuesday, September 13th

Today in algebra we reviewed natural numbers, whole numbers, integers, rational numbers, irrational numbers and real numbers. Basically, natural numbers are what you learn to count with, like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Or 100, or 1000, and so on. Whole numbers are natural numbers plus zero. Integers are whole numbers plus negative numbers. Rational numbers are everything I just mentioned and positive or negative fractions or decimals that end or repeat. Irrational numbers are like π or .

Jimmy is having a rough time with this already so I made him a venn diagram. I think that maybe he should be in Algebra 1. We will be in the review stuff for the rest of the week and he is already getting confused.

I also found a few summer squash and zucchini that have ripened early so I brought them in for dinner later. Soon the late garden is going to be ready.

The late garden is mostly things like turnips, rutabagas, cabbage, kale, peanuts, potatoes, pumpkins, gourds, beans and squashes. Mostly things that I haven't seen Mama can. The navy, pinto and kidney beans will be dried. The peanuts will get pulled up, shaken off and left in the sun for a day or so before being stored in bushel baskets in the root cellar. The potatoes will be stored in straw in the potato bins. The rutabagas and turnips will be stored similarly to the potatoes. The Cabbage will be covered in straw and burlap right where they are growing, except for the ones we can as sauerkraut. Only the kale, summer squash and zucchini and maybe a pumpkin or two will be canned. The rest will be stored stacked in the cellar cushioned by burlap or straw.

Daddy's pants are getting thread bare, as are Maggie's and mine. Maggie and I don't mind. Especially with how hot it's been. Daddy has always preferred the freshly pressed look. I think I should go ahead and reinforce his knees on the inside so that I can avoid patching for a while.

I think I got all the socks fixed for the time being. I didn't come across any holey ones while washing today.

Also, the smaller basket came out a bit big for clothes pins, but it's just right for gathering herbs and vegetables. It came out about the size of a bushel basket.

I used it to gather all the early yellow squash and zucchini from the garden. I cooked some of it to go with dinner. The rest I was able to can as a medley into nine quart sized jars. I am pretty proud of myself because I did it without any help. I surprised Maggie and Patti both. Patti declared the seals to be sound and complete. I can hardly wait to show Daddy when he comes in tonight.

Wednesday, September 14th

Another day watching the clover grow from up in the tree house. At least I have Sir Oliver, Rosamund and Lionel to keep me company. Manners and customs were all so different in the 1600's. I'm very surprised that Jimmy would pick out such a romantic story.

I have spent most of my time up here preparing for Sunday. It's my turn to present a lesson this Sunday. I'm used to singing in front of people. I do it a lot, what with the choir and all. Sometimes I sing duets with Shawn or Sister Morrison. She taught me about breath control and how to sing with my mouth and not my nose and how to use singing muscles and sight reading and stuff. Doing a lesson is a lot different. When I sing, I sing what someone else wrote. I don't worry so much that someone will think my song is stupid or should have been written better. With a lesson I have to make sure I stay on topic, and stick to doctrine, and make sure everyone understands what my point is. Fortunately I have a lesson book to help me out. Gospel Principles chapter 8 is about prayer. Maybe there is a song in the Hymnal that goes with the lesson that I can base my teaching on.

The laundry wasn't so bad today, but the lye is hard on the hands. I'm glad that Mrs. Haywood brought all that lotion. It has really helped. I have to say that it's a good thing that I only have to do laundry once a week. Otherwise I'm pretty sure that my skin would be looking like Jennie's about now, even with a gallon of the world's best hand lotion ever. I've been using the lotion Mrs. Haywood made from beeswax, reduced hyssop, raspberry leaf and rose hip tincture and cream into. It's is the best. The beeswax makes it act like a moisture barrier to keep skin from drying out. The cream soothes and conditions, and the herbal tincture is supposed to be soothing and promote healing. Unfortunately its almost gone, but just maybe we can trade some berry preserves for some more of her lotion.

Thursday, September 15th

Daddy and Otis smoked the bees today and checked the hives. Daddy keeps the bees for pollination. Without them none of our orchard crops or berry picking would come out so good. Daddy wants to go ahead and spin the combs. Daddy usually leaves them a comb or two. Between now and winter they will have built up enough honey to last the winter with a fair bit left when they start bustin' out production in the spring.

Patti says we can finally use those old spring lidded canning jars for something, honey. They will be ok to put it in because of the natural peroxides and antibiotic nature of honey, as long as it's covered it won't go bad. One of Daddy's bee keeping books mentioned that honey found in the tombs of the pharaohs was tested and found to still be edible.

As a result, I spent a good portion of the morning hauling water and scrubbing dust incrusted jars.

Math is going ok. We reviewed absolute values, and working with positive and negative numbers. I think Jimmy is making Maggie want to pull her hair out. Bless his heart, he tries. I think He is even starting to get it but Maggie is putting him in the Algebra 1 book Monday if he doesn't show major improvement. We are in the review section, but a lot of the time he looks at it all like it's all new and he hasn't seen it before.

Patti gave me a second set of penmanship strokes to practice Monday and as you should be able to tell, its working quite a bit. I'm kind of waffling about trying to write like Mama or Old Man Jim. Mama has very large round loopy handwriting. It looks all fluffy like a string of pillows with smiles in the O's and hearts over her I's. Mama is such a cheerful optimist, and it shows in everything she does. Even in her handwriting. She has never been able to fit very much onto a page though. Old Man Jims handwriting is so neat and crisp and elegant. Even with the twists and curls everywhere. I showed both to Daddy and asked what he thought. Daddy says my handwriting should be a reflection of my personality, and that I should experiment a little and combine what I like best about each style. Patti says that Old Man Jim's writing is called Spenserian Script. She had some information about it in the book she has been getting my practice strokes from. So I guess time will only tell how it turns out.

Friday, September 16th

Sticky doesn't begin to describe today. Sweet too. We got about 4 gallons of honey out of each hive. That means we ran out of jars. We had 37 quart jars and the rest was put into 8 of the 5 gallon buckets we had stacked in the shed. Originally horse treats had come in them, and once they had been thoroughly cleaned Daddy said they would be okay to put food in.

As you can see I have settled on Spenserian script with less twists and swirls, and heart dotted I's. The more I write like this the more natural it gets. It's not as twisty and spiky as Old Man Jim's and the only thing it has in common with Mama's is the hearts, but, I like it.

I'm going to go knit in the barn and watch Moonbeam play. I have now made about 20 squares but it's going to take about 3 times that many to make a blanket to fit across my bed.

Saturday, September 17th

I really like The Sea Hawk. It is not a romance and I don't much like Lionel.

We made candle molds out of paper towel tubes and aluminum foil. We lined the paper towel tubes with the foil and put tin can lids on the bottom with just enough wax to seal the lid to the foil. We put the wicks through a hole in the bottom of the lids with a yarn needle and tied the other end to a piece of stick. Then we poured the beeswax into the paper towel tubes. We let them cool for a while and had to refill them a few times because as the wax cools it shrinks. Monday they should be ready. We only have 5 paper towel tubes so we are going to have to make them last. At the rate of five candles a day it's going to take weeks to make all of the wax into candles. I was able to talk Patti out of a good sized chunk, and I intend to use it to make herbal lip balm. We have made this batch of candles plain but we might experiment with adding herbs to make them smell nice.

I heard Maggie and Daddy arguing out by the barn. Maggie was trying to convince Daddy and Otis that the people in the barn aren't sick. Patti was with me. We were going to get the wheel barrow that we keep under the lean to shed by the barn.

We had been working in the garden and were going to use it to haul off the weeds to the burn heap. Patty has been pretty quiet about the whole thing.

Patty is going to show Jimmy and I how to collect seeds from some of the plants in the garden. They aren't ready yet, but she is just going to explain about how plants produce seeds and what to look for.

Sunday, September 18th

Today was my turn to teach the lesson and Maggie played the hymns. I think it went ok, I think. I had looked at hymns I could use but nothing really seemed right so I used "I Pray I Faith" from the "Childrens' Song Book" It is one of my favorites so here it is. I thought of putting it in the Ruby Notebook but I decided it will be better here.

"I kneel to pray ev'ry day.

I speak to Heavenly Father.

He hears and answers me,

When I pray in faith.

I begin by saying "Dear Heavenly Father";

I thank Him for blessings he sends;

Then humbly I ask him for things that I need,

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

I went with the Lord's Prayer for most of the lesson. It's really the perfect model to base a prayer on.

Jesus started by calling on our Father in Heaven and reverenced G-d. He humbly deferred to Our Fathers will instead of demanding to get his way. He asked G-d politely for things that he needed or wanted. He asked for spiritual healing and forgiveness. He asked for the strength to forgive others and prayed for his enemies. He asked G-g for help in bearing his trials and for help through them. He then acknowledged that everything is in G-d's hands and praised G-d.

I also mentioned that we can pray to show gratitude and thanksgiving. I covered attitude towards G-d and reverence, and that while form is good, sincerity is better.

All in all, I think I did okay.

Monday, September 19th

Maggie and I made peanut butter and honey candy chews with the final part of a can of Skippy she found in the back of a cabinet. The most tedious part is cutting the waxed paper into squares and wrapping them, but it's so worth it. I think the best part is getting to lick all the gooey mess off my hands. When Daddy came in for lunch he was thrilled and surprised to see them wrapped all pretty and sitting in a dish in the middle of the table. Uncle Otis and Jimmy liked them too. I put the instructions in the Ruby Notebook.

We are running low on yeast so we made a sourdough starter today. It should be ready in time to bake next Tuesday.

I think I will put all the recipes we like to use in there from now on since I'm almost out of room in this one. I copied the recipe for fried apples into it too, even though it's almost full also.

We made some more candles this morning. That will make a total of 10 candles. We will probably be making candles for weeks at this rate.

Tuesday, September 20th

Homeschooling continues. Math goes well. I went ahead and finished the review chapter on my own yesterday and am starting to do actual equations. I only have a couple more chapters to go in "The Sea Hawk". You can see that the handwriting continues to improve. I found an old copy of "A Short History of The American People". The copyright was 1919 I think. Anyway, I've been reading it because it has more details and is less wordy than the books Maggie grabbed at the library. On the down side it only goes up to a few years before WWI. I read history with Jimmy and he was able to read what I wrote when I answered the end of chapter questions. I also started to read the first chapter of a botany book that was on one of the stacks of books from the library. It started out with plant anatomy, physiology and reproduction.

Took the candles out of the tubes this morning and started 5 more. I fed the sour dough start. I fed, watered and groomed the horses and cleaned the stalls. I then hauled water into the house for Patti and helped get lunch on.

I seem to have a lot of time on my hands, and at the same time I'm busier than I've ever been. I would normally be up at 5:00 to get ready for school. I would feed and water the horses and collect eggs. I would get on the bus at 6:55 am. I'd be in classes with my friends until 3:00 in the afternoon. The bus would drop me off at 3:35ish and I would come inside and tell Mama about everything that happened during the day and eat whatever snack she had waiting. I would do homework or talk to Gertie or Jennie on the phone for a while or go riding. I would help Mama make dinner. After dinner I would do dishes and finish homework or watch TV. At 8:30 we would read scriptures and have a family prayer before bed. Then a shower and if I wasn't sleepy, I would read a little before saying my own prayers and going to sleep.

Now I get up at 5 and start chores. Jimmy and I are doing more schoolwork than I did at school and we seem to be finishing before lunch. I have a lot of projects going on that I didn't have before. Laundry, mending, the garden and all the handy crafty stuff I've been doing. There is no TV to watch. No friends to socialize with. No boys to gaze at, no crushes, nothing to giggle with the other girls about. No helping each other get our hair just right in the bathroom. I never go to bed and not fall asleep with my prayers still on my lips.

I don't miss the hectic rush and constant overbearing schedule. I just miss everyone. Even Brandy. I never thought I could possibly miss her ever, but I think I would give anything to hear her tease me about not having had a boyfriend.

I always figured I would have been on a date by now. I'm 16. I have been for 2 and a half months. Jimmy would date me with the slightest bit of encouragement, but no. Maybe if I had spent some time with the Haywood boys while everyone was working on and at the mill. I guess I was too much Martha and not enough Mary.

You know, Jesus was visiting some of his disciples and Martha spent the whole time cooking and cleaning and working really hard to make sure Jesus was able to be comfortable and enjoy his visit. Her sister Mary spent the whole time sitting at his feet listening to him and keeping him company. At one point Martha got a bit irritated that Mary wasn't doing anything to help. Jesus said that he wasn't always going to be around and that Martha should lighten up and just hang out a bit because the cleaning and cooking would always be there to do.

I think, sometimes I get so involved in doing lately, that I haven't taken a lot of time to hang out. I totally missed out on swimming in the creek with Maggie and the Haywood boys, because even when it was Patti or Mrs. Haywood's turn to sew bags shut, I kept busy with other things. How can any of the available boys notice me if I won't stop to give them the time of day? Thinking back on it, James tried to talk to me and keep me company. I guess I kind of blew him off without realizing it. I could have pretended to be more interested in electronics and computers and stuff. I just don't feel interested at all. Hank is nice, and cute and has a girlfriend. She went to a camp and he has her dog until she is back. The rest are way too old to consider. Except for Steven and Daniel. Way to young. Eww.

Wednesday, September 21st

Maggie saw me scribbling away yesterday and insisted on seeing what I've been writing. I said no and it turned into a big fuss. It's not like this is full of secrets. It's just not her business. However, I should have known the best way to pique her interest would have been to say no. So a very short tug of war ensued and she ran with it. That's why this sparkly blue notebook is now a sparkly blue with a crease down the front. Daddy says we were both wrong. I don't think we were both wrong. You shouldn't take other peoples things. Daddy said I shouldn't have called her a heifer, and maybe I shouldn't have. This is where I write my thoughts. It's not like I really have anyone I can talk to about stuff. Jimmy would think I 'liked' him if I talked to him about this stuff, Maggie would call me a whiney kid. Daddy I could talk to, but he and Otis have been really busy with the farms. Patti is good to talk to but I don't feel close enough to her to talk about this kind of stuff. Actually, even if I had Jenny back to normal and if Gertie was still alive I probably wouldn't say so much. I kind of like being able to write down my private thoughts somewhere. Maybe someday I will want to share it with someone, but not for Maggie's amusement. Daddy did ask her to apologize, but I don't think she meant it. I think she finds it all very funny. At least she was too busy running to read any of it.

Thursday, September 22nd

Last night Patti declared my knitting to be good enough to try knitting a sock so she has me knitting a flat sock. When I get to the heel part she is going to show me how to increase to make the heels. I'm guessing from the progress I've made so far that will be Saturday or Monday. I've started a second one just like the first. I figure that if I knit them at the same time they will look more alike.

I guess I should be more forgiving and less selfish. I suppose it's possible that Maggie is bored and misses her friends and classes too. She spends a lot of time outside riding Jasper. Maybe I should tag along and keep her company. She had a job lined up at the college as part of the work study program that she missed out on. There were activities, boys, trips and all kinds of things to do at the university.

I guess I haven't been too good at thinking about peoples positives when they make me mad. I just feel so smothered and closed in by everything and have no outlet to get rid of it. Like I'm imprisoned in my own skin. I have been trying to stay busy so that I don't have time to think about anything. The thing is that while I scrub the laundry I have nothing to do but think. When I'm ironing I have nothing to do but think. When I'm mending or knitting or crocheting or cooking or cleaning or darning or sewing or hauling water or feeding horses or grooming them or riding them or taking care of the chickens or ANYTHING MY BRAIN IS SCREAMING AT A THOUSAND THOUGHTS A SECOND AND WON'T SHUT UP!

I think I can finally relate to that thing that Gertie used to play sometimes by Dir En Grey. The one with all the screaming, "Stuck Man", I think it's called.

I finished "The Sea Hawk" yesterday. It was a good diversion. It was an interesting story. It's focus was on loyalty to family and why it's important and what happens when it goes wrong. Also about loosing faith and hopelessness and striving in the face of adversity and making the most of bad situations. It also showed that if you live for revenge it can destroy you.

I'm going to start on "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I know it seems silly. I haven't seen people to befriend or influence in a month. The Haywood's aren't going to be around much. They are busy keeping their farm running same as we are. Plus, I already know them and don't think I could influence them much. I'm just glad Mrs. Haywood seems to have forgotten us scaring the heck out of her that time.

Friday, September 23rd

I got to sit and talk to Daddy in his office today. It was nice. I used to talk to him all the time, it's just that lately I guess I kind of closed up to everybody. Daddy is always so calm and understanding, and he reminded me that I can always talk to him and that he will always make time for me. He held me and let me cry. It's been a while since I hugged anyone. I'm going to have to work on that. He reminded me that usually it's the little things that pile up on us. He asked Otis to come in and help him give me a blessing. It was a blessing of comfort and guidance.

He gave me a really good quote and I don't want to forget it. Marilyn French said "Men stumble over pebbles, never over mountains"

So what are my pebbles?

Lack of a social life. But is it my own fault? If I withdraw from the people I do have, aren't I making my situation worse? So what can I do? I need to spend a set minimum amount of time with everyone. Daddy is setting aside a half hour every night so that we can tell each other about our day. I will have to make an effort to see everyone else.

Jimmy. I am just going to have to bring my feelings (or lack of) in to the open. The truth will set me free and maybe we can be normal again. I'm tired of having to avoid the person closest to my age.

Physical contact is important to people. I need to hug the family that I can. Mama and Shawn are gone for now but I can appreciate those who are still here with me.

Well, I told Patti that I would help her with a batch of sauerkraut, so later.

Saturday, September 24th

Well, the late garden is about ready. Patti and I started 8 gallons of sauerkraut. I thought a batch would be a few quarts, maybe a gallon. Today we made another "batch". This time with the red cabbage. We also pickled beets. Needless to say, several of the dish towels, Maggie's, Patti's and my hands are now a pinky red color.

Another thing that caused color changes was a very uncomfortable conversation with Jimmy. I don't think that this is ever going to be resolved in a satisfactory manner. He actually tried to kiss me. He even said that once I realized how much chemistry we have, I will see that he is the one for me. I kneed him in the balls and left him in the barn. As I was walking away he called out that "You just need a little time. That's ok. I can wait." Only a little time to him will be centuries for me.

Maggie and I went riding together and checked the fences. It was nice. We talked about lots of things and picked half a bushel of currants.

Otis has been talking about trying to bag a couple of deer. He and Jimmy will probably go in a week or so.

First he wants to go by his house and grab his blind and his guns, ammunition and reloading stuff. Monday he is going to start teaching Jimmy how to reload ammunition. Daddy hasn't seemed to keen on the idea. In general, Daddy isn't too fond of guns. He has a couple, but he always emphasizes that they are tools for a grim task, and that their use should never be taken lightly. There is a shed that isn't really used for anything over near the barn where Mama and the others are staying. Daddy said that Otis can set his stuff up there.

Pattie showed me how to increase for the heel and then decrease for the foot and close up the toe. When we finished both, she showed me how to stitch them shut with a crochet hook. So I now have a new pair of socks. Daddy was impressed when I showed him. He wants me to make him a pair. I think that when Patti and I use the double ended flexible knitting needles I will make the socks his size. We are going to start those ones on Monday.

Sunday, September 25th

Otis had the lesson today about prophets. Adam was the first prophet. He walked with G-d in Eden and taught all the people of the earth in his time about G-d. He also covered some of the other ones like Moses, Methuselah, Lehi and Nephi in ancient times. He covered modern prophets like Joseph Smith Jr. and Russell Nelson. He mentioned reoccurring themes that most prophets seem to stick to, follow the commandments, repent, and be good to each other.

I made a dried apple and currant pie for desert. It turned out perfect. Maggie made brussels sprouts in butter sauce and the salad. The salad was very different but good. She used greens growing along the tree line and dandelions with lettuce, kale and spinach from the garden. She has been trying to use stuff out of the books she got on edible wild plants. It's been a little bit hit or miss. Sometimes it's delicious and sometimes it's just not. I think she is really starting to figure out what tastes good though. The basil and dill vinaigrette she put with it was nice too. Patti made candied carrots and a roast chicken.

Otis and I played music this evening to entertain everyone. He plays banjo really well. I played some on the piano and Jimmy played guitar. It was almost like old times. The only thing missing was Shawn's harmonica.

Monday, September 26th

Today we dug up peanuts. Well, actually, we didn't. Uncle Otis, Daddy, Jimmy and Maggie dug up peanuts. Aunt Patti and I knocked the dirt off them with screens and put them in bushel baskets after we knocked all the peanuts out of the roots. We were all completely covered in dirt by the time we were done. I don't just mean a little dusty either. I mean rolled in a mud bog dirty. 6 bog monsters minus the gooey part. Everyone had a turn at the pump rinsing off the dirt, clothes on and everything. I can honestly say that until today, I have never been too dirty to take a bath. Once we were clean enough to bathe, water hauling began.

I probably haven't mentioned this but we have been bathing in the far stall of the stables. It's in the old part of the stables next to the tack room. There is a good reason for it, kind of. One being that most everyone has agreed that hauling water up the stairs to the tub is just more than anyone is willing to do, and, dumping water over ones head a cup at a time is an ineffective way to get lye out of your hair. It bleached Maggie's hair by a couple of shades.

It's close to the pump, only a 20 yard trip each way. Also, Daddy, Otis and Jimmy were able to dig out a small trench so that we can easily drain the tub and it will run under the wall and away from the stables, towards the pasture without creating a swamp. There is also a small wood burning stove we can use to heat enough water for lukewarm baths. Even if someone comes in the barn you can't accidentally be seen. Maggie made sure of that by installing some shower curtains to all sides of it.

The soap came out a bit soft. Like, it's in a fancy pump dispenser because it's so soft. I refilled it a few days ago with goat's milk and lavender lye soap. It works very well. It will remove whatever is clinging to you, dirt, sweat and oils to the point that lotion and conditioner are a must or your hair will feel coarse and your skin like sandpaper. I have found that it's not so bad as long as you only use a little, and don't expect it to lather. Instead, I try to distribute it evenly and scrub until I can hear my fingers squeak against my hair and scalp.

I never spent so much effort on grooming without trying to impress a boy before.

Tomorrow we are making peanut butter, and when the oil rises to the top we can pour it off into jars to cook with. Peanut butter and jelly, yum. I haven't had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a month at least. It never seems to last very long. Maggie and Shawn can eat it by the spoonful. So gross. And then, just because they know I can't stand it, they come up to me to breathe their peanut butter breath in my face. They would sometimes wake me up like that when we were kids.

Anyway, it will be nice to have actual oil to cook with. Bacon drippings and lard work well, but they don't really cook the potatoes as crisply or fried chicken either.

Tuesday, September 27th

Today everyone but me dug and gathered potatoes this morning. I was off the hook to bake bread, which suited me just fine. Between rising and kneading, I shelled peanuts. I drug one of the wash tubs inside, and it is my goal to fill the whole thing with shelled peanuts to make peanut butter with. I sang the "peanut, peanut butter and jelly" song and 'Goober Peas" and just about every other song I know about peanuts. Maggie said she could hear me all the way outside and complained that I was makin her crazy. She really doesn't like "Goober Peas". It always gets stuck in her head and she ends up humming it and she hates it.

They dug up a lot of potatoes. Almost 50 bushels. I don't know how we are going to use so many. I guess we can replant whatever we have left in the spring for a new crop or maybe trade them to the Haywood's. Then again, maybe Old Man Jim would like some to make into that vodka recipe he wrote about.

Daddy was taken aback when he started digging up almost black potatoes. At first he thought an entire section of the field had rot of some kind. I heard his exclamation and went to see what the matter was. It turned out that he came to where Mama and I had planted some heirloom potatoes. They are supposed to look dark purple to dark blue. I love blue and talked Mama into buying a 3 lb. bag of the starts. I cooked some of them up as scalloped potatoes for dinner this evening. I have to say that it did look weird. Pretty as a picture, but weird. They were delicious, if I do say so, and everyone else seemed to like it too. There wasn't any left over.

On another note, while Otis and Jimmy worked on reloading, and Daddy and Maggie checked the fences, Patti showed me how to turn a heel with the flexible needle. She explained and showed me, then she pulled it all out and had me show her. She had me undo it a few times, but 11 was the charm. Then I had to show her on the other one to make sure I had it down. That took 3 tries. Then she pulled it out and had me show her again, to make sure I won't make mistakes with the next pair. When I get the feet done tomorrow she will show me how to finish off the toes. Well, I have already finished the feet. I also started a pair of purple ones for Maggie. I'm almost to the heel on one and intend to finish them tomorrow while I wait for the laundry to dry.

By the way, we now have 40 paper towel roll sized beeswax candles. I think we will be done in about 2 more batches. Also, the washtub is now over half full of shelled peanuts.

Wednesday, September 28th

Once again I got out of getting dirty in the garden in favor of other work. Laundry to be specific. Farming makes for dirty clothes. So does gardening. Digging out root crops is especially filthy, all the dirtiest laundry tends to stay in a pile in the barn. I suppose that's not necessarily a bad thing because the dirt raining off of them would have made a gianormous mess everywhere. I started by hanging out and beating the worst with a broom. I eventually gave up and did a preliminary wash in the pond and then brought it all back in the wheelbarrow to wash for real. This set me back about 2 hours or so, but now I know to just go to the pond first thing with bad dirty laundry.

One thing I have to say about the lye soap is that it got the dishtowels from pinky red back to white with almost no effort on my part.

While the laundry was drying I managed to get to the toe portion of the socks. Daddy's I did in a plain stockinet stitch. I'm making Maggie's with a pearled stitch.

Well, I read the first chapter of "How to Win Friends and Influence people". Don't criticize people. Don't condemn people and don't complain about them. So, I guess that's my new goal. It had a good quote too. "G-d himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days. Why should you or I?" He made several good points. None that will probably help me with the Jimmy problem, but useful. Basically, criticizing people never gets the result you want, if it gets any result at all. All criticism does, even constructive criticism, is hurts feelings and plants the seeds of resentment. Instead tell people what they are doing right. People like to be praised and when they know how to get it they will do what you want.

Patti showed me how to do the toes of the socks. It wasn't nearly as hard as I had imagined. Maggie and Daddy like their socks. I intend to knit them and myself several pairs. The ones we have been wearing are getting tread bare and there is only so much darning you can do.

Today when I was darning one of Maggie's socks I noticed a difference in texture from the rest of the sock. I realized that I was darning next to and over an area I had darned before. I think that eventually some of the socks are going to be nothing but darn upon darn and next to darn with no original threads what so ever. Just for fun I've been darning all my own socks with bright contrasting colors. This way I will know for sure when my socks have reached the point on entire darn. I think they will look amazing.

Thursday September 29th

Everyone but me worked in the garden again. Turnips, rutabagas and the rest of the beets have been pulled and scrubbed. The carrots and parsnips have to stay in the ground until we are ready to use them. Instead they have been bedded in straw and had burlap rolled over them. Jimmy and Maggie used rocks to hold the burlap down.

What was I doing you may ask? I was ironing linens and shirts and pants and skirts. I also made a pick nick lunch for everyone so that they wouldn't track dirt all over my freshly scrubbed, waxed and buffed floors. I was even nice enough to lay outfits out in the stable for everyone. I also had bathwater ready so they could all take turns before coming in the house. I made dinner all by myself too. Bluish purple mashed potatoes and red eye gravy, cooked spicy kale with crumbled bacon and marinated vegetable medley with tomato wedges, summer squash, zucchini, bell pepper rings and cucumber.

For desert I made a small batch of peanut brittle. It should last a few days because no one needs more than a few pieces at a time. I was kind of concerned with how it would turn out because I substituted honey for the corn syrup. I think I actually like it better this way. Patti loved it but couldn't put a finger on the difference. I think I will just keep it my secret. And I'm putting it in my Ruby Red notebook. The washtub is almost full of shelled peanuts. I should be making peanut butter soon.

Patti showed me how to knit in a circle using 3 or more needles. It was a bit confusing at first but I manage to get the hang of it. It is more complex but it's easier to the size of the circumference of the socks. I started a pair of navy blue socks for Daddy. I am alternating socks with each row to make sure I do them exactly the same. I hope that by Saturday I will be ready to turn the heels. I think it will be similar to the flexible needle but I want Patti with me when I do it so she can stop me if I start to mess up.

Friday, September 30th

I un-wrapped the final batch of candles. This one was smaller than the other batches. The last bit of wax made 3 and maybe almost a half candle. We have a total of 53 candles. Now all we need to do is test one out and see how long it will burn. I put the paper towel rolls can lids and aluminum foil together carefully on top of the back of the china hutch. I intend to use them again next year if things stay like this. We don't throw anything away anymore. I don't know if we will be getting any paper towels again for a long time.

We haven't had toilet paper in months. Instead we have been keeping corn husks in a bucket of water by the toilet. And because we don't want to clog anything when we finish with one, we put it in the bucket with the tight lid. Someone carries the bucket of used corn husks to the manure heap in the evening. To flush we use an old ice cream bucket to scoop a half gallon of water out of the tub and pour it into the tank. Flushing is worth hauling water upstairs to the bathroom for. I check a couple of times a day to make sure the tub is filled deep enough to scoop out of.

I almost want to broach the topic of building an outhouse and placing it directly over the septic tanks lid. That's how they do it at the national parks. That or the recycling mineral oil toilets they had when Young Womens Camp was at that state park. I can't remember the name of it. It was named after an Indian tribe I think. The mineral oil toilets are not within our means I know. One of the leaders tried to explain that it is a closed system and that the "liquid waste product" being water based would float above the oil and could then be siphoned off. The solid would be caught in screens for removal. Gross!

I think I will mention it to Daddy. It would mean not having to haul water up the stairs, to the tune of 15 gallons a day. I never used to realize how much water we used just urinate and defecate. That's 7 or 8 trips to the pump and back everyday. No worry that someone might accidently forget not to flush the husks. No more buckets of poopy corn husks to toss on the manure heap. Oh, and no more hauling water.

Now that I look at it in writing I can't see any con's except that we would have to wake someone up to go with us to use the toilet at night. It would be a shame if anyone else were to be bit because they went alone to use the bathroom. On the other hand, I recall that we found several chamber pots complete with lids, that could be used for a middle of the night emergency

On another note, I think I will be ready by tomorrow evening to do the heels on my current pair of socks. I have a little bit of red yarn I want to use for the heels and toes. I'm going to ask Patti to show me how to do color changes. I like the navy blue but it's a bit boring all by itself. I also want to make Maggie a pair of white and purple striped socks with the same purple I made her other pair with. I'm going to crochet a ruffled edging on them too. Just so we can match I'm making my pair like hers except opposite. Mine will be white where hers are purple, and purple where hers are white and have a white crochet ruffle. I know, I have such big plans.

Saturday, October 1st

Daddy said the idea of an outhouse has some merit, but that it requires special permits to do. I want to make him want to build an outhouse. Complaining and being critical won't make him feel like doing what I want. Carnegie Principal #1 "Don't criticize, condemn or complain." I didn't. I merely stated the advantages. Except that most of the advantages don't affect him. Most of the advantages revolve around hauling water and used corn husks. Making him not like some aspect of continuing to use the indoor toilets would be kind of like making him want an alternative. I don't think he would be too worried about getting permits if he was lugging his own water.

No one assigned me to water duty. I've just been doing it cause it needed done. Maybe I'll just quit as quietly as I started. If I only haul my own water I can use the bathroom just fine. I can keep a bucket of water in my room and just grab it when I need it. Maybe if other Daddy has to haul his own flush water he might change his mind. Principal #3 "Arouse in the other person an eager want." Thank you, Mr. Carnegie.

On another note and in line with Carnegie principle #2 "Give honest and sincere appreciation." To show Patti how much I appreciate all she has shown me I'm sewing an apron for her. She left hers at the mill on accident and has been using one of Mama's. It's ok for her to use them, Heaven knows there are half a dozen hanging in the pantry, but I know she would rather have her own.

I found the cloth in the cellar when we were cleaning it out. It is pink and green plaid with watermelon slices and random seeds printed all over it. It's full bib and has nice deep pockets on the skirt and ruffles on the bottom. It goes on kind of like a smock and has a button in the back instead of ties. The only things I have left to do are pressing it and finishing the button. The pattern called for a big 2" button. I found a branch that was the right size and managed to cut a few slices off of it. One of them turned out perfect, not to thin, not to thick and pretty even. I've already sanded it and painted it up like a round slice of watermelon. I just don't know how to get the holes in it without messing it up. I'm going to ask Daddy to plug in his drill and do it while he has the generator running for the freezers.

I had enough calico left over from the apron to make her a kerchief, like she likes to wear when she is cooking. She generally insists that anyone cooking should wear something on their hair to keep their hair out of the food and food off of their hair.

Mr. Carnegies 3rd chapter was about thinking about what other people want. An example he gave was that he really likes strawberries and cream, but if he goes fishing he isn't going to put a strawberry on the hook because even though he likes strawberries a lot he realizes that the fish want worms and grasshoppers. Even though he doesn't like grass hoppers, that's what he offers them. Because that's what they want. They don't care that he likes strawberries. They want grass hoppers. So that's what He gives them. I want socks but Patti has a lot of socks. I'm pretty sure she wants an apron.

Sunday, October 2nd

Today Aunt Patti had the lesson. It was on the scriptures. Lots of religions have holy books. Shinto has the Konkyusha, Muslims have the Quran, Buddhists have the Tripitaka, Christians have the Bible and Jews have the Tanakh. The Tanakh is basically the Old Testament.

Scriptures are the written teachings of men who are considered to be inspired by G-d or wise men. It can generally be summed up by the 8th Article of Faith: "We believe the Bible to be the word of G-d as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of G-d." Since we believe in the Bible and the Old Testament we believe the Tanakh. We believe that some of the Apocrypha is inspired of G-d and some of it as solely the work of men. The church does not generally use the Apocrypha and doesn't officially recognize what parts are actual scripture. It just says that if you desire to study it, do so prayerfully and rely on the guidance of the spirit.

Since we have a living Prophet we are always getting new scripture at conferences and in the Ensign, and the older new scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price. As far as studying the scriptures prayerfully goes, it should always be done with an eye towards G-d.

On another note, Daddy drilled the holes in the button for me. I was able to finish Patti's apron last night and gave it to her this morning. She looked so surprised. She didn't realize I knew how to sew. When I came up here she was wearing it and the kerchief while doing dishes with Maggie.

Monday, October 3rd

Daddy, Otis and Jimmy are cutting the last batch of hay for the year. They are confident that they can cut it all today and tomorrow. They figure if the humidity stays low for the next few days it will be dry enough that they can get it all baled and tarped Friday and Saturday.

I finished a square for my quilt, started and finished a square, and started another knitting square. When Mama gets better and sees it she will be thrilled to know that I found a use for all the little balls of yarn she had that just weren't big enough to use for anything. Mama never throws things out, just in case. She isn't a hoarder. She just doesn't waste things that are still full of use.

Once all the mowing is done, Otis and Jimmy are going hunting. They want to bag a few deer. Daddy and Otis have had several discussions about it. Daddy is still a bit uneasy about poaching, but isn't going to stop him. Otis and Jimmy have been hiking in the woods a couple of times looking for game trails and set out a few salt licks and corn where the trails come together near the creak. Technically, baiting the deer isn't allowed but Otis says it's not baiting if you remove all the salt and corn a few days before you go to hunt.

A byproduct of their walks has been the addition of a few more of the ill to the barn. Some of them are so unrecognizable there is no way to identify them any more. Jennie has a hole in her left cheek and in her stomach. We think she got snagged on something and didn't even notice. With all the ill in there now it's dangerous every time we try to put anyone inside. Getting only Jennie so Daddy can sew her stomach up will be impossible. We are just hoping it doesn't get worse. If her bowels get loose she could get an infection, or they could get caught on something and come out completely and get stepped on and dragged about.

Tuesday, October 4th

We canned corn and squash and pumpkin. We only have a few of the canning jars from Aunt Patti's house left, and jars we have already opened over the last month or so. We should be able to get it done by tomorrow. We pickled some of the summer squash and cucumbers and peppers yesterday. All that's left is Brussels sprouts, turnip greens, collards and kale. When we do the leafy greens we will do some all mixed and seasoned. Mixed greens are one of my favorites. Maggie likes Brussels sprouts and broccoli. When we were kids she would get me to eat them by telling me to pretend I was a giant eating little trees whole and cabbages in a single bite.

Whatever jars we have left will be filled with the smallest potatoes. The ones that were less than 1 inch were set aside in a bushel basket. We will can them with onion quarters.

We have been working on grinding the peanuts into peanut butter in small batches. We get one jar at a time. So far we have filled four one quart jars.

Baking got me out of canning a little bit, but I was pulled back into it while bread was rising and baking. My math is going well, as is my reading. I'm actually ahead in the reading list. Jimmy was put back into the pre-algebra book to do a more in depth review. History is better now that my handwriting is getting better. Patti is going to give me the last of the practice exercises on Monday.

She is going to show me how to change colors with knitting tonight while she watches me turn the heels on Daddy's socks. I also want to finish the ribbed square I'm working on. If all goes well I can finish them tonight and start Maggie's tomorrow.

The guys finished all the mowing this afternoon. That leaves them at loose ends for a day or so while the hay dries. Typically Daddy, Otis and Jimmy have all the livestock taken care of by 11or so. Daddy will probably catch up on reading or whittle or tinker with stuff in the barn. I have rarely seen him just sitting. Even when he watches TV he is working on something.

He mentioned something about working on carving a yolk and padding it with leather to make hauling the water easier. He said a yolk would put the weight on my shoulders instead of on pulling on my wrists, elbows and shoulder joints. He used to have one in the barn but it got relegated to the burn pile years ago, shortly after the automated waterers were installed.

I know I was going to stop hauling water to the tub in the upstairs bathroom, but I didn't have the heart to leave the first couple of people stranded when they discovered there wasn't flush water. I also couldn't figure out a way to word my resignation as water girl without sounding bratty and spoiled.

Tomorrow Otis and Jimmy are going to go hunting. They have been reloading in the evenings and brought back the salt licks. They were in good spirits because there was no corn left to sweep up. Jimmy was just wiggling with glee as he related that, "There were spore and tracks galore!"

I think this notebook is only going to be good for a few more entries. I'm kind of glad I snatched that journal now, since when this one is done the only other notebooks I have are for schoolwork and the red one. Sister Fansler once asked the class, "If it were illegal to be a Mormon, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I think my red notebook could get me acquitted.

Wednesday, October 5th

Canning is officially over for the year. We will have to hope that there is enough put by if it takes longer than the winter to find a cure.

I did laundry and sat in my sheet tent waiting for everything to dry while I worked on my studies. Jimmy sat with Maggie and I. Maggie has been more patient with helping him figure out his math lately.

It is getting cooler, not cold, just cooler, which has got me thinking. I don't know what I'm going to do to dry the laundry when it does get cold. I'm going to ask Patti for some tips on that. I'm kinda leaning towards stringing up a clothes line in the parlor, and putting a shower curtain on the floor under the wash tubs.

I keep expecting to see another Army convoy come to the house to tell us there's a cure. Occasionally we turn on the radio or TV to see if there's anything or one broadcasting news or information of some kind. That song No News, by Lonestar is really starting to resonate with me. I'm anxious lack the of information. Anything would be more comforting than the nothing we have.

Daddy fitted me for the yolk. It is basically a thin, slightly curved piece of wood with a noch carved in the middle to go around the back of my neck. A fitting with Daddy is much different from a fitting with Mama. Mama spends forever pinning tucking and measuring. Daddy took 5 seconds twice. I watched him put padding and leather around it with little copper tacks, while I sat knitting his toes. We finished at about the same time, so I gave him his snazzy new socks and he handed me my yolk. I have to admit that it has made hauling water a lot easier.

Well Otis and Jimmy went hunting and aren't expected back until dark. I've been writing too long. I better get downstairs and beat Daddy, Maggie and Patti at rummy before we have to start dinner.

Thursday October 6th

Oh my goodness so much has happened. Everyone is in a state, I'm in a state and there is no room to write unless I write on the cover. I just don't know a tactful way to put it. They shot a little boy.