For the disclaimer see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1
The Journals Of Elizabeth Anne Green
Chapter 7
Thursday November 3rd
Well, I can only say I feel, not cramped exactly, hedged in? I just know that after a trip off the farm I always feel compressed, knowing that I won't be going anywhere for a while. This time it's worse than the last time. I just feel uneasy in my bones. Something about conversations with Old Man Jim. I just feel something, I don't know what. Urgency, maybe? I think my biggest problem is too much time to think.
I went through my emergency kit. Times are different than they used to be, I don't think a dozen bandaids, a few matches and some M&M's are going be adequate. If something happens is anyone really going to rescue me? There's no more search and rescue and the hospitals are shut down. Should I pack sutures and sterile drapes? Betadine or hand sanitizer or bleach? Maybe include a round of antibiotics? I have Laudanum, Tylenol and Ibuprofen. I should probably talk to Daddy about updating out first aid kits. I don't want to pack so much that I can't carry my bag if I'm on foot. I intend to finish repacking it in the morning.
Daddy isn't as young as he used to be. I know thinking about what if's is counter productive sometimes, but planning is essential. Right now everyone looks to Daddy for all things medical, but what if something happens to him? I only know a little first aid. Maybe I should help him out more and watch how he does things.
Jimmy is thinking about going to stay with the Haywoods for a few weeks. He wants to learn how to set up a solar power system that'll generate enough electric to run his TV and DVD player. He's always preferred watching movies to reading books. I think it would be nice to be able to run the TV once in a while. I would love to watch "Lord of the Rings" again, even if I had to peddle to do it. Daddy is very particular about how much the generator runs. The freezers are the priority.
Maggie seems so happy lately, Glenn seems like a good guy, he's been keeping her out of my hair since yesterday afternoon. It's nice to eat without her hovering over my shoulder. She and Glenn went on a "date" today and brought back a ton of yarn and knitting needles and crochet hooks. She was working on a sweater for him when I left her in the parlor a bit ago.
I'm beginning to wonder why Mama used dried spices all the time. She always had basil and rosemary and mint in the garden because they were pretty and kept pests away. I don't recall her ever using them for cooking, and I have to say she really missed out on flavor. Maggie made chicken and dumplings and chopped up some fresh basil in the dumplings, and they were soooooo good! We should probably start them drying soon because they won't last much longer if we don't.
Friday November 4th
I added lots more to the first aid kit, including a suture kit and other supplies left over from Carl's surgery.
I took out the cans because they are heavy and take up too much room. Instead I have jerky and other dried stuff in there like dried apples and some fruit leather Patty and Maggie made. I
also tucked in a few hooks, a small spool of fishing filament, some matches a small sewing kit and some other odds and ends that could be useful.
Somehow the swimsuit and sundresses don't seem good enough for climbing up trees if I need to escape from someone who is sick. Now there are a few tank tops, yoga pants, a couple of cotton button downs, extra socks and underwear. Mama always had us pack extra when we went on trips.
I also packed hygiene and grooming items. I don't know how they got entirely skipped the first time around but now I have a double zip bag of the soft lye soap, some lotion, tooth paste, tooth brush, hair brush, ponytail bands and girl stuff.
I also added a couple of bottles of water. They are hanging from my bag by a piece of rope.
So are my hiking boots. I put my scriptures, the glitter blue journal, the ruby red notebook and my Young Women's Camp Manual inside too. I am keeping this one in an outer pocket with my jell pens. It weighs twice as much now, but I think it will do better if I actually end up needing it.
Jimmy finished Gulliver's Travels, so now it's my turn to read it. I am really enjoying it. It's kept me entertained while I was in the treehouse. I have already read the first 4 chapters. Jimmy has The Art of War, I saw him reading it in the barn. Pattie accepted my report and declared my handwriting to be, "very nicely done."
In the spirit of getting to know people, T-Dog, the one who had the bad cut on his arm that Daddy stitched up, was a football player back in the day. He was playing football with Carl and some of the other people from the caravan. It was so nice to see people doing things for fun and just cutting loose a bit. Jimmy even joined in. It is good to see him being less gloomy.
Anyway, T-Dog coached Pee Wee football and was really active in his church before this. He's really laid back. He seems like a good guy. I think he's a bit intimidating but that's because he is so big. I suppose you have to be to play football. He says that he makes a great macaroni bake. I will get to find out tonight.
Because of the weather change, Daddy let the people from the camp move their things inside yesterday morning. The Grimes got Daddy's room. Daddy moved to the parlor sofa. He doesn't think a pregnant woman should have to sleep on a floor or on a couch. Andrea and Carrol are sharing the beige guest room and T-dog and Glenn have the bunkbeds in Shawns room. Mr. Dixon was offered the recliner in the den, but is staying in the glassed in back porch, "to keep an eye on things". Officer Walsh is camped out on the recliner now instead, but Daddy would just as soon let him sleep in the barn.
The camp ladies are making dinner tonight. Mr Dixon got a huge buck, and Carol is making cookies. Andrea is making something from some supplies that Glenn and Maggie brought back from the last run. Lori is contributing Fruit Punch Crystal Light. I know because Carl is real excited about it. It's his favorite.
I can smell the venison cooking. I think I will read until someone calls me for dinner.
Saturday, November 5th
What a feast! I had a little of everything, but it was probably more than I usually eat. T-Dog does make the best macaroni bake ever. I am pleased to say that the recipe now resides in the Ruby Red Notebook in T-Dogs very neat, square block print. He flipped through it a bit and looked very surprised by the stuff in there. His attitude towards me has changed a bit, not quite respect, but careful maybe?
Carol's cookies were good too. Not Fansler good, but close. She's not giving up her recipe but she did give me some tips for better cookies. She says it's all in the details, like making sure all the ingredients are room temperature, proper measuring, getting the dough really cold before baking, not opening the oven while baking and letting them cool on the sheet instead of putting them on a rack right away. Next time it's my turn to make dessert I'm going make peanut butter cookies and try to be more patient and exact and see how they turn out.
It's about 50° with a slight breeze. I'm thankful for blankets. I'm glad Maggie pulled them out of the closet under the stairs a few weeks ago. Not attracting attention is why we aren't having fires in the wood stove before dark, so the early mornings and late afternoons have felt a bit chilly.
Daddy, Jimmy, Maggie and the men in the camp spent most of the day boarding up the windows and reenforcing and winterizing the buildings on the farm.
I spent most of the day wrapped in a blanket crocheting hats with Andrea. Andrea is very good at crochet. She made a hat for Mr. Dixon that looks kind of like it has cable knitting, but it was crocheted. She showed me how to do it and it is super easy as long as you keep your counting and rows straight. We taught Lori basic stitches and Carl is now the proud owner of a slightly lopsided green variegated hat. She actually did very well for her first try. It's way better than my first try was. The one for Sheriff Grimes was even better. We will probably continue on Monday. After hats we are going to work on scarfs and mittens I think. We'll probably keep it up until everyone has two sets of long johns, socks and sweaters.
Pattie and Mama had a disinterest in quilting in common. Actually, Pattie doesn't like to sew, period. She does mending because it's necessary. Pattie is content to just watch and knit while we sew. Maybe I can exchange mending for dishwashing sometime.
The world started falling apart at beginning of summer. That's why the camp people don't have much warm stuff. Maggie and Glenn originally wanted to hit up the local stores for cold weather gear, but they didn't find anything suitable. Light weight cardigans were all they could find. They did find plenty of yarn and quilting stuff at Piece Goods though.
Carol was pretty excited. Apparently quilting was one of her hobbies before all this. She worked on cutting out squares and triangles to make a quilt top out of. She said if someone can get sheets she will make some poor quilts. That's where you take two sheets and put a quilt batting between them, tie the layers together with stitches in rows going one way and then in rows going the other way to make squares and bind the edges. Instead of quilt batts you can also use a couple of old blankets or sew together old towels to use as batting. Mr. Dixon and T-Dog said they would go on Monday. Right now they are on "Guard" while the Sheriff and his friend are away.
You may wonder where away is. I have no idea. Sheriff Grimes and Deputy Walsh are out ditching Randal somewhere far from here in the hope that he doesn't find his way back. I don't know what to think of that. He grew up around here. I don't think that just dropping him somewhere is going to work, unless they risk driving to another state. It was dangerous for them to get here from Atlanta, I don't see how they could possibly make such a trip safely. They intend to be back tonight or tomorrow sometime.
I suppose only time will tell.
Sunday November 6th
One afternoon when I was about 10, Shawn came home late from school dirty and with his clothes all ripped up. One of his eyes was red and swollen closed, his face was scratched and he was bleeding from a split lip. His knuckles matched his face. He came in the door moving slow and gingerly, like a bent over old man. I saw Brownie a couple of days later. He and Shawn matched pretty well. Shawn and Brownie didn't talk for a few weeks, they just scowled at each other whenever they met. Once the bruises went away and the cuts healed up they began talking again. Never did find out what is was about.
Sheriff Grimes and Deputy Walsh came back kind of like that this afternoon. Randal's back too. He's in the shed again. Apparently the Sheriff and the Deputy got into a fight over it. I could assume it was about Lori, or Randal or any number of things. They aren't talking. Not to each other. Not to anybody else. You probably know what they say about assuming. I'll be patient, it'll come out on its own eventually, if it's important.
T-Dog joined us for Sunday service. It was nice to get some new perspectives and insights. We mostly talked about G-d, and how He made us to be like Him. We sang, we partook the sacrament, and we sang. T-Dog sings very enthusiastically. It was fun.
I really hope Sheriff Grimes and Deputy Walsh patch things up soon, the whole atmosphere is tense in the camp, and it's contagious.
Monday November 7th
Well, today I learned to make a 9 block square. It's just like it sounds. Nine 3 1/2" squares sewn together to make a square. I also learned to make 3 other kinds of nine block squares. Tomorrow I will make a few 8 rectangle blocks and a block using triangles. Basically, my first quilt will look like a sampler.
Lori and Andrea were very quiet today. There was no chit chat, just quiet crocheting while Carl sat and read a Rush Revere book about presidents aloud. Pattie tried to make small talk, but Carrol was the only one acting normal. I retreated to my room for a large part of the day.
Carrol complemented me in my small even stitches and says I'm a natural at quilting. It is kind of relaxing, sort of like mending. The difference is that instead of fixing buttons, rips and restitching weak seams I'm actually making something new and pretty. It isn't as time consuming as I'd thought it would be either. I can finish a square in about twenty to thirty minutes.
My yoga is coming along but I am starting to think holding any pose for 15 minutes is going to be a very long term goal. I've been working on the same 3 poses for a week and a half and I am getting better at them. I'm less wobbly and it is getting a bit easier for the first 45 seconds.
Carl is working on the Suzuki level 1. It's probably way too easy for him. Usually it's geared towards little, little kids but I don't want to skip anything that might be important later. The teachers manual has everything laid out really well, so I don't think I'll mess him up any. I'd hate to give a prodigy a bad start. I'm not saying he is one...but you never know.
It gives him something to do besides wander around getting into situations. I know Lori has a lot on her plate right now, but he really shouldn't be wandering about on his own. It's a wonder that he hasn't been bit or found worse mischief than he already has. He snuck Mr. Dixons handgun. He could've gotten hurt or accidentally hurt someone else. I know he's been lectured a lot about it, pretty much every time he asks one of the men to take him shooting. I wish his dad would clear up all of his curiosity and teach him. I wish they'd make him shoot it until it was so boring that he doesn't want to shoot and it is more of a chore than a pleasure.
Daddy has a shot gun. It's a 4 shot Remington 870 Wingmaster. Mama made Maggie, Shawn and I learn how to take it apart, clean it and shoot accurately by the time we were 10. She was scared that if we found it and got curious we'd cause an accident. She also made us take the Eddie Eagle Safety classes at the gun range in Peachtree. I don't believe that I've shot it since I was 12. I doubt I'd even remember how. I'm not a bit curious about it.
I know Mama loved it. She went target shooting the last Wednesday of every month with her friend Clara. They really loved to shoot clay pigeons but the outdoor range was a special occasion because it's a bit of a drive to get there. The winner always bought lunch. I wonder how Clara's doing. I suppose she and her family are at the refugee center at Fort Benning.
I don't suppose I was ever very fond of it. It was always too noisy. That's one of the reasons Daddy doesn't want them practicing near the farm. We don't want to attract the ill by making a bunch of noise. The other reason is that it could spook the horses.
Speaking of noise, sounds like our LEO's are at it again.
Tuesday November 8th
James and Paul Haywood came over yesterday evening but I don't think they got the welcome that they were expecting. Apparently Sheriff Grimes and Deputy Walsh are in agreement about something after all. Anyone that they don't know ought to be kept under gun until someone with a lick of sense and a bit of manners arrives to tell them off. They about scared the life out of those boys. Since I got there first, I got to do it. I finally took the opportunity to unload on the both of them for their general and specific foolishness, as I brought James and Paul inside for some warm apple cider and peanut butter cookies. I pointedly didn't offer Sheriff Grimes or Deputy Walsh any. Instead I told them that since they are so gun happy they should probably sate Carl's curiosity down the road somewhere.
Daddy and Pattie were in the cellar when all this was happening so they didn't get inside 'till I'd already started feeding the boys. I ended up feeding everyone while Paul related what little news there was.
It seems that the Haywoods are doing just fine. No new news really. They got their silage in, hay all taken care of. They got their canning done. Raided the IGA and got a bunch of canned fruit and stuff so they are going to be fine at least into summer. Repainted the barn and outbuildings. James, Paul, Hank and Steven went to Senoia and got a bunch of video games while they were out for other supplies.
The gate's finished. They even set up an electric motor with some batteries and solar panels to open and shut it. They're also running a pretty high voltage through the fence.
The most interesting story was that Old Man Jim somehow lost track of his days and managed to explode a batch of corn mash before it even made it to the still. He was keeping the mash pans in his barn so that they'd stay warm enough to ferment. When the mash exploded, the goats decided it was absolutely delicious, and so he had to deal with a bunch of very drunk goats while trying to clean up the mess. He's decided that his distillery is just about done. Once of the all batches that are in progress are finished, he intends to give the still and his mash pans a good cleaning, and pack them up for long term storage. That seems just weird.
It took a little over an hour for James, Paul and Jimmy to get the radio up an running. The first thing they did was put it on Chanel 12 and let Hank and Dave know that they got here ok, and that they would be in contact again before they started home. It took another 30 minutes to help Jimmy rig up the pedal powered generator to run a TV/DVD or TV/video game consul or whatever. James brought some games for Jimmy's X Box and the three of them were up most of the night playing Halo Reach. You'd think that peddling to play would have tired them out pretty quick, but they were fine taking turns until past three am. Daddy was OK with it after inspecting the outside of the house and agreeing that no light was getting through the guest room window.
They all slept in this morning. In fact, they didn't get up until they smelled the weeks bread coming out of the oven. I baked some extra loaves of cinnamon swirl bread for Paul and James to take home in addition to a picnic style lunch. We agreed to monitor Chanel 12 between 7 and 8 o'clock every night. They have theirs hooked up to solar power so they listen throughout the day, surfing channels for news, but we are on pedal power so that's why we have a set time.
While the boys were sleeping off their play, and I was baking, it seems that the parlor has become a knitting factory. Sometime after Paul and James left, T-dog and Mr Dixon came in with sheets that they nabbed from a gated community. They also took comforters, blankets and sleeping bags. Enough that we probably don't have to make quilts unless we want to.
Carrol totally wants to and I want to learn so we each picked out a sheet to be our quilt backs and a few blankets to go in the middle when out tops are finished. I intend to be done with my eighth square this evening before I go to bed.
During our radio time just a bit ago, we confirmed that they'd gotten home ok.
Wednesday November 9th
Today I did laundry in the basement. It wasn't so bad. There were enough eyebolts to put up 3 lines. They're shorter than what I'm used to, and lower to the ground. As a result I had to get creative with hanging the sheets, and I divided the laundry into two batches. When the first batch was about dry, I started soaking the second batch. It dries slower in the cellar so I couldn't start the second batch 'till about four in the afternoon. I hope that I can take the second batch down in the morning before I go out to tend the horses. It was warmer than expected and hauling the water wasn't so bad either. It is closer to the pump than where I'd been doing the washing. Dumping the wash water isn't so easy. I had to bail out the tubs, and when it got too shallow for that, I got Maggie and Pattie to help me dump the remaining water into my buckets.
The cooler weather has made bathing quicker. I think we are going to have to figure out a way to do it inside where it's warmer.
Officer Walsh has been trying to influence everyone to kill Randal. He's very insistent. I am beginning to think that he just isn't right in the head. I think the stress of the last few months has been getting to him. I really want to talk to Daddy about it. He's worrying me. Maybe there's some kind of medication we can give him to help him settle down a bit.
I'm almost done with "Gulliver's Travels". There is a commentary section in the back that might help me with my report. I hope to finish reading tomorrow sometime. It's a very quaint story, but I suspect that there is a deeper meaning to it than just what's on the surface.
I finished my studies and did my yoga while waiting on the laundry. I also measured and weighed Moonbeam. She is growing right on target. I took Nellie for a short ride along Keg Creek towards Whitewater Creek. Moonbeam followed right along. Nellie didn't mind the extra weight of my bag at all. It would be awful if something happened and I had to leave them.
When we got back I groomed the all horses extra well. I braided all their manes and put ribbons on the ends. I haven't done that in months. Even Jack. I put pink streaks in Nellie's mane with some of the hair chalks Gertie bought me. They were in my bag and are practically new, and so I thought, Why not? She looks so adorable.
Jimmy and I spoke to Hank, James and Steve on the radio for a little bit. They are constantly monitoring all channels for news. They've been in contact with a woman in Wyoming. She says that the snow freezes the ill. The people in Wyoming are mostly unaffected. They got a few herds out of Idaho and Colorado but once the ill freeze, people have been tossing them into piles for burning, easy peasy. I think it's awful to burn them but apparently they are more aggressive when they thaw out, and regular corrals don't hold them well, so people kind of have to get rid of them to keep them from hurting people and tearing things up.
Pricilla's friend Ruby is staying on the Haywood farm. A herd destroyed her families house a few weeks ago, and she's the only one who made it. I think it's good that Ruby and Pricilla have each other. I think it would be very hard without Maggie and Patti to talk to.
All in all, today's been the most peaceful and relaxing day I've had in a while. Well, it's getting dark.
Thursday November 10th
I spent most of today working on quilt blocks. I finished the twelfth one right before lunch. Carrol says we can turn them into a baby sized quilt top tomorrow, or, I can wait until I have thirty for a full sized quilt. I think a baby sized quilt will be easier to work on for a first try. Next time I'll do a full sized one. Also, I can gift it to Lori for her baby in the spring.
Her belly has popped. If she has baggy layers she can hide it, but pretty soon it's going to be fairly obvious to anyone. Since I sew she asked if I can add a maternity panel to her jeans. Pattie was able to give me some basic instructions, and I think it turned out pretty well. Usually you can buy them. They're elastic panels of lycra. Instead, I used the cloth out of a couple of old swimsuits and made a wide casing to run some 1/2 inch elastic through. I've learned that lycra's slippery, and irritating to work with at times. The bright pink and blue floral pattern does look pretty loud. I may sew her a couple of trapeze tops long enough to hide the panels after I finish her other pair of pants tonight. I'll have to look through Mama's pattern box for the pattern.
I'm making dinner with Patti tonight, so I should probably get down there.
Friday November 11th
Those things are dead. Maggie's right. Those refugees were right. I wanted so much to believe, but they don't feel anything. No pain. No fear. No matter how bad off they are, they just keep on going. They devour and destroy everything they contact.
Right after dinner yesterday evening it looked like Randal had escaped and Officer Walsh went after him. Officer Walsh made it look like he got punched in the face. Glenn, Officer Walsh, the Sheriff and Mr. Dixon went looking for Randal. Glen and Mr Dixon found Randal dead, but he was acting like the ill. They insist that he wasn't bit so they have no idea how he got ill. They think Officer Walsh killed him by breaking his neck.
We were waiting for Sheriff Grimes and Officer Walsh to get back so we could hear their side of what was going on, when the barn caught fire and the ill came onto the farm, lured by the flames. It went up so fast. The horses were still inside. I can still hear them screaming in their stalls. Then the ill came upon the farm so fast and Carl was missing.
Daddy had the shotgun. I'd never seen it him with it before. He didn't like guns. I didn't think he even knew how to use it, but he was doing just fine. He didn't make a dent though. It was pure chaos. There were just so many. Pattie and I
Pattie was
Pattie and
Pattie is gone.
There will be no funerals, there are no bodies to recover. I will record my memorials here, as my Bible is too small to record them all in.
Andrea and T-dog stopped the truck to pick us up. She got out to help Carol and I don't know if she got off the farm. Maggie is likely with Glenn. I got out with Lori and T-dog. He wanted to run away. He was scared. He didn't want to go to the emergency meetup place. In an emergency we were supposed to meet here on the highway where they broke down and Sophia was lost. Lori had to threaten drastic action to get him to turn around.
Pattie died helping me get away. I couldn't do anything for her.
Jimmy died a hero. He died saving Sheriff Grimes and Carl from the barn.
Andrea was a hero. We think she died rescuing Carol from a group of the ill and was overcome.
James Davis Sams-Yates born to Steven Davis Sams and Heather Renee Butler December 28 1994, adopted through Cowetta Family Services by Otis Marshal 1999, died in the service of his fellow man.
Greater love hath no man than this, he who lays down his life for his friends. James 15:13.
Patricia May Green Yates born to Franklin Austere Green II and Darla June Jackson on May 6th 1942, Married to Ottis Jennings Yates(1940-2010) in1965. Passing into the arms of Jesus, she was preceded in death by three still born children, Jane Leah, Ottis Jennings Jr. and Rose Marie; by her husband Ottis; and by the child of her heart, James D. Sams-Yates.
Andrea Harrison. I don't know when she was born or who her people are, but she was strong and kind. She is presumed dead, but if she is met again in this life it will be with great rejoicing.
Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10.
Right now we're camped in some old ruins by the side of a road. Rick says we're all infected with the sickness, and if we die for whatever reason, bit or not, we'll turn into those things.
I left a letter for Andrea to go to the Haywood Farm, and to tell Old Man Jim he was right about not having time for vinegar. They'll be worried since we missed the radio check, but at least if she's ok she can tell them that the farm isn't safe. We left her some supplies on the old car.
I'm glad Old Man Jim told me to keep my bag with me.
Saturday November 12th.
Today's been interesting. I started out the morning with a screech from Lori. Some kind of bug woke her up. Glenn had replaced T-dog on watch. Carrol was cooking a couple of squirrels Mr. Dixon had shot with his bow. I shared some of the dried apples out of my bag but there wasn't much to go around for so many people. Not much of a breakfast, but better than nothing. Shortly after breakfast, in the spirit of staying together, we walked as a group to the nearest filling station for gas.
We enjoyed an early lunch that consisted entirely of junk food. I never realized it, but, NutterButter can be a great meal. Especially if you round it off with some jerky and a cream soda.
After lunch we walked back to the cars where everyone had left their supplies. I lugged my back pack the whole way. I don't dare let it out of reach. After months of lugging water, it's not so bad. We got back to the cars a little slower than the trip to the gas station, probably because people were getting tired and most everyone but Carl, Lori and I were lugging gas cans. Then, we drove back to the gas station to load up more supplies.
Because of how late it was when we got back here, we're going to be here overnight, at least. Sheriff Grimes and Dady want some time to figure out what we're going to do from here on out. In the meantime everyone's camping out on the floor of the convenience store. My stuff's behind the counter near the register. There's a smallish window that looks out on the gas pumps and it's letting the last of the light in so I can write.
Glenn has been so good for Maggie. He's a good guy, and they are kind of cute. She's usually so hot headed, I think she gives him more of a backbone, and he calms her down.
Daddy's devastated. Except for a brief stint in Korea (due to the draft), and going to college, he's never lived anyplace but the farm.
Sunday November 13th
There is a ladder to the roof in the managers office. Glenn found it, and it's a good thing he did. We would've walked into a giant herd of those things otherwise. From the roof we've been able to watch a large group of the ill move across the road towards the farm. Sometimes there are thirty or forty, sometimes only two or three, but it's a steady slow plod. They stay slow unless they get motivated by a critter they think they can eat. Even then, most able bodied people can out run them. It's getting surrounded that's the biggest problem. They appear to be coming from the general direction of Macon, if they're traveling in a straight line. If they're actually following the road they could be coming from Atlanta. It's hard to tell. We watched as one broke off to go after a cat. Another half dozen or so behind it followed. The cat escaped out of sight, but they kept on in the new direction, so who knows how many times the group of them has changed direction. The bigger problem with them is that they're walking across highway 85.
Mr. Dixon hasn't stopped watching since this morning. If Carrol hadn't been looking out for him, he probably wouldn't have had a bite to eat. Today we had microwave oatmeal. It came in little plastic tubs you just add hot water to. It came in a couple of different flavors. I had apple cinnamon. Mama never would've bought anything like that, she would've made the old fashioned rolled oats with butter and real apples chopped up and sugar and it would've been much better. She would've also called the serving size in it an anorexic portion. I ate two, most everyone else had two or three. Ravioli for lunch, and microwave Mac'n'Cheese for dinner. Microwaves're no good without electric so we boiled them in a pan over a burn barrel. Turned out just fine.
I think I better understand how the pioneers felt when they were chased out of Missouri by the mobs. The governor had signed the Mormon Extermination Order after some people had tried to defend themselves and their homes from coming under attack. The order came with little warning. When many of them left, they could only tale what they could carry in their arms. Many died on the way to the refugee camp in Far West. They had to walk across a frozen Mississippi River into Illinois. Many of them got frostbite trudging through the snow. Some even died of exposure.
I'm so thankful that it's not cold enough to freeze to death. No one's in danger of frostbite. We have food to eat and shelter. We've had a way to see the ill, before blindly walking into them and getting trapped. We've lost a lot but G-d is still helping us and taking care of us.
Daddy led a meeting today and most everybody participated. We focused on all the ways we've been blessed. It really lifted everyones spirits. Everyone got up and said something about what they were thankful for. Getting focussed on positives is always a good way to stop feeling sorry for your self. We also sang a few songs, like, "Count Your Many Blessings", "Rise and Shine" and "Jesus Loves Me", and a few others. I'm thankful that by having T-Dog, Carrol, and the Grimes' with us I'm getting to learn a lot of new songs.
Monday November 14th
I've had a lot of time to think about things sitting up at this register listening to the rain. I can't really see a difference between them and us anymore. The camp people? Daddy, Maggie and I are camping also. They're refugees, but now, we're refugees too. Now they and us are a we.
Maggie, Daddy and I are still a family. A much, much smaller family maybe. We're still a big family too. Daddy and Mama were sealed together in the Salt Lake Temple. They drove out to Utah with Maggie and Shawn the winter before I was born. Really, Mama, Shawn and Jennie are still with us, watching us, rooting for us and helping us as much as they can.
The ill are something else I've been thinking about. The rest of everyone is calling them walkers. I guess it's because they walk even though they shouldn't be able to. I haven't really asked. I suppose they ought to be called something. I don't think they're ill. I'm sure they're dead. I think that I just wanted to believe that Mama, Shawn and Jennie were alive so bad that I refused to see the truth. The truth is sharp, like a two edged sword. It pierces deep.
Daddy and Rick have decided that since the herd seems to have finally pattered out, if things look good in the morning, we'll head out to the Haywood Farm. Just until the dead wander away from our farm. They have good fences. It's a safe place. I just hope that the Haywoods won't hold a grudge about Sherif Grimes and Deputy Walsh making Paul and James lay out in the dirt with their hands behind their backs getting arrested. I really have no idea how they'll react seeing us on their doorstep.
I don't want to turn up completely empty handed. I think Daddy intends for us to gift them with a large portion of the soda pop and beer that was in the coolers. What milk was here, got hot over the summer. It went bad and exploded all over the coolers, and hardened into a yellowish film that kind of flakes off of whatever surface it landed on. Fortunately it was far enough gone by the time we got here ,that it just smells a bit musty.
Mr. Dixon mentioned that without a game warden, it should be okay to hunt from the road. He thinks a buck with a huge rack for mounting or a nice fat doe would be a great way to let them know we don't intend to be a burden.
Most of drinks and the snack stuff are all loaded up in the bed of the truck that unlocked with the clerk's key fob. The cars are all fueled up and we have extra gas cans full too.
Trying to avoid herds and circling around how we did, is how we got to where we are now. It's probably going to be a three hour drive to the Haywoods, that's allowing for the fact that we may have to reroute to get around cars stopped in the road and the dead. Right now we are in Auburn. Normally it would only take about forty minutes to get there from here. We're supposed to be leaving at about 7 in morning. That's how long it'll take to pack up the blankets, fix a bite of breakfast and tie up any loose ends.
Tuesday November 15th
I found a paperback copy of "Of Mice and Men" under the counter before we left. It gave me something to read on the way to the Haywood's. It was interesting, and slightly depressing, tragic really. I'd hate to think that people are really that cruel. I think I'll avoid reading anything else by Steinbeck in the future.
We drove slower when it rained. We rerouted for cars. We rerouted for the dead. At one point we passed fairly close to the farm, to see if maybe the dead had wandered off. We couldn't get within a mile of it so we just pressed on. We wanted to be at the Haywood's shortly after noon, but it was actually pretty late in the evening.
When we got to the Haywood's they welcomed us with open arms. Their house is pretty small and cramped, being a doublewide trailer. There's no way we can all sleep in here in the long run. As it is, there isn't a square inch of space that someone isn't sleeping on. Mrs. Haywood and Pricilla fed us stew and biscuits. It was so nice and warm and filling and delicious. The Haywood's turn the electric off at 9:00 so I'll write more tomorrow.
Wednesday November 16th
Oh, there's so much. I hardly know where to start. The beginning, Mama would always say, "Bethy, back up a bit so I know what you're talking about.".
So first thing in the morning Daddy and Mr. Haywood discussed sleeping arrangements until the walkers move themselves off our farm. There are ten of us, even if one of us is a child, and soon enough we will be eleven. The living room, kitchen, dining room and hallway were occupied. Ruby tripped over Carol on the way to the bathroom this morning. Carrol was surprised but seemed to take it in stride. That was the beginning of the day.
There's an empty barn they're storing a few odds and bits in, but nothing that can't be stored elsewhere. In return for repairing the barn we can camp in it. The rain was noisy on the tin roof, but it didn't leak in anywhere. It has a cement floor and it's structural sound, it just needs a good cleaning and a bit of fixing up. If things look to be more long term we can turn the stalls into small rooms or such. We had it cleaned up and were moved in before dinner. There were a few loose and rotten boards, but they were easily replaced. There isn't much in the way of creature comforts yet, and it smells like hay, but it's no worse than the Little Sue.
Mr. Dixon nailed some planks to the rafters on either end and made a walkway between them so someone can keep a look out. Sheriff Grimes, Maggie, Glenn, Daddy, and T-dog worked on setting up curtains so that everyone can have a bit of privacy. Carrol moved the vehicles so that they're inside the doors at either end, facing out, just in case. No one seems to trust the safety here I guess.
Carl, Ruby and Pricilla are getting along very well. They were occupied at Mrs. Haywood's dining room table working on math and reading and writing most of the morning. When the rain paused she sent them out to tend the chickens and collect eggs. They basically spent the rest of the day running to and fro for her, kind of like how I ended up running to and fro for the rest of the adults in our group.
Mr. Dixon met Old Man Jim this afternoon. Met maybe the wrong word. It was a reunion a long time in coming. It turns out that Mr. Dixon is the Daryl he wrote to in my notebook. Mr. Dixon and Old Man Jim hugged it out and cried like I never seen grown man cry before. It looks like Mr. Dixon will be staying with his uncle. He's really relieved to know for sure Merle, if not in a healthy situation, is at least alive. He just took Old Man Jim's word for it. He doesn't look bad when he smiles. He seems almost approachable, less scary. They were still in front of the old wood stove drinking coffee and catching up when we went back to the Haywood's. Tomorrow, if the rain stops they're planning on hunting.
The Old Man pulled me aside and said for a bit of a conversation before we left. First he grilled me on my back pack and made sure I had all my journals. He was very concerned that they stay safe and gave me a large zip bag to keep my tiny library in, a ring of keys and another notebook. Basically, I'm supposed to keep the notebooks and keys safe and keep my mouth shut about that blasted book until we get Merle away from the "unmitigated idiocy" he's done got his "fool ass" into. It's almost funny. I can tell he loves his grand nephews greatly, but he referred to Merle by name only once. The rest of the time Old Man Jim referred to him by the afore mentioned epitaph with various embellishments. I suppose creative cussing is a family trait. Apparently I'm supposed to stick to him and Mr. Dixon "like stink to a polecat" for all our sakes.
James invited me on a walk along the fence once the rain stopped for a little while. It was nice. We talked some and just listened to nature some. Daddy was waiting for me when we got back. He didn't say anything but he had this look on his face like he doesn't entirely approve, but he doesn't need to. There is nothing to approve or disapprove of. I like James in a friendly way. He's a nice guy and all, but I don't think of him in a way any more than that.
Thursday November 17th
Mrs. Haywood let me use the washer today. It was nice. I didn't haul any water. I didn't scrub or wring or anything. I did everyones laundry. Glenn rigged a clothesline in the barn for me to hang it all on and it was glorious. The only thing I had to haul was dirty laundry to the washer and clean laundry to the barn for hanging up. Because I was washing everything by color, people are going to have to find their stuff on the line when it dries.
James showed me how to properly sharpen knives with a stone and honing oil. It isn't as hard as I thought it would be. Now my pocket knife is super sharp, or was. I sat and whittled a crochet hook, and some hair sticks while I was waiting for the washer to finish the loads. After I did my math of course. Maybe I can whittle some chopsticks later.
We're settling in pretty well I suppose. Carl is continuing to study with Ruby, Pricilla and the Haywood boys. I haven't studied with them yet. I've gotten used to studying independently and then comparing notes in the evening. My math is going okay, when I have a problem, Maggie is usually there for me. If she's not, then Daddy can usually help me figure it out.
I read well and generally discuss it with Patti and Jimmy. It was kind of our thing. It was our own little book club. Besides, the only novel I have is the one I found at the gas station. "Of Mice and Men". I suppose I could see if the Haywoods want to start up a book club type thing.
I don't know if they have any novels around. I suppose I can talk to Mr. and Mrs. Haywood about it.
History will be a challenge too. I suppose I shouldn't write anything off yet. Mrs. Haywood probably has something around that I can read. If not, I can check in with Old Man Jim. He has a lot of books at his place. Or, eventually things will calm down and I can play catch up later.
Mrs. Haywood had a box of old maternity clothes. She let Lori pick out a few practical outfits. Lori looks so much more comfortable now. Mrs. Haywood really liked how my maternity panels turned out. Some of the tops she gave Lori are the same colors as the flowers in the panels and look good together. Lori thinks she is sixteen weeks along almost. That makes her due in May.
Friday November 18th
This morning Daddy, Mrs. Haywood and I talked about schooling. She likes the book club idea, but wants it to be with the adults willing to participate and James, Steve and I. She will do a separate one for Dan, Carl and the girls because not everything is appropriate for young minds.
I can use James' or Steve's history and science books since they've finished with them but the books have to stay indoors. I'll have to sit in the living room and listen to the ladies gossip to read them. Still, listening quietly is a great way to learn all sorts of things.
Mrs. Haywood isn't very confident in her math skills past pre algebra so Maggie's going to tutor James, Steve and I.
The three older boys, Glenn and Maggie seem to be hanging out a lot, going on runs and working on things around the farm. Dave not so much, but Hank, Peter and Paul.
Carrol, Lori and Mrs. Haywood have been working together in the kitchen, knitting, and mending and chatting about this and that.
Sheriff Grimes, Daddy, Mr. Haywood and sometimes Dave spend most of their time checking the fence lines and talking out on the porch or in the shop.
I wandered across the road to Old Man Jim's cabin, just to check on him. He doesn't have a CB or short wave, and has no desire for one. I listened to him tell stories about his younger years. Some of his stories feature my Grandfather Green. If half of what he says is true, then I'm glad I never met him. He and Will Dixon Sr. ran around together quite a bit, and they spent many nights in the county lockup together.
Billy Dixon Sr. was Mr. Dixon's Great Grandfather. Willie Jr. was a pretty upstanding man and had to clean up his fathers messes on the regular. Will the 3rd managed to be a right scoundrel. He was so bad that his grandfather cut ties and even left him out of the will and everything. His own father tried to help as he could but Will was good at burning bridges.
Will married Jim's niece Nora in a shotgun affair, and he held quite a bit of resentment over her "trapping" him. Merle was born 5 months later followed by a series of miscarriages that were probably caused by his fists. Merle was about eight when Daryl Dixon was born. Jim thinks that he was born because Nora tried to leave back home. Will drug her back despite her mothers protests, due to her father agreeing that a woman belongs with her husband and you can't keep a man from his children. She died ten years later in a house fire. People always figured she got drunk and passed out smoking. Old Man Jim seems certain that Will drugged her and then lit the place up his own self because he had another girl on the side. He thinks Will didn't want the expense of a divorce or to end up paying child support or alimony.
I also learned a lot about my Grandfather that I will write down later.
Jim has a lot of books, but most of them are technical manuals, or about how to do things and make things. They cover everything from engine tear downs for 1977 Ford trucks and gun smithing, to needlework, baking, finance and all kinds of stuff. He says I can borrow whatever I want.
Mr. Dixon was out hunting and got back as I was leaving. He wants me to just call him Daryl. Mr. Dixon is his older brother and he says it sounds weird to him. It feels weird to call an adult by their first name, but I said I'd try. It was almost dark and he insisted on walking me to the Haywood's gate. He also gave me five rabbits, dressed out really nice.
Mrs. Haywood appreciated the rabbits. Daddy agrees with Daryl about me walking to Old Man Jim's place alone. I'm going to read some of the book I got from Old Man Jim about making traps and snares while I still have enough light.
Saturday November 19th
It's strange being here. I miss my room, I miss Nellie and Moonbeam. I miss home. This was a perfect day to go for a ride. It was pretty bright and sunny today, the birds were singing, no drizzle, no rain.
I did go for a walk along the fence with Jimmy but that was cut short when he got handsy. It started out okay, we were walking and talking about Final Fantasy. I really am bad at the part where you have to get control of the train. All of a sudden he tried to hold my hand. It was totally unexpected and so I snatched it away.
He was upset because he thought I was going on walks with him because I liked him. I thought we were walking together because I'm not supposed to be out of sight of the Haywood's house by myself. Even with the fences Daddy and Maggie worry. I said as much and so now he feels like I was just using him. It was a major communication failure. He didn't realize I'm not allowed to wander around on my own, and I didn't realize that he's been crushing on me since the beginning of last year.
I'm sure that once he's had some time to think and cool down everything will be okay. If it doesn't, Monday is going to be awkward. Maggie saw me coming back alone and read me the riot act. She enumerated all the things that could've happened to me and made me promise not to go off on my own. She didn't even let me explain what happened.
Monday I'm going to try making a habit snare. It could be useful if it works. I'll have to find someone who isn't James to come with me. I think it would be a great diversion for Carl, Dan and the girls. I don't think they'll misunderstand, and technically I won't be alone.
Sunday November 20th
I just found out I am not a Christian. Even though I think I believe in Jesus Christ, the one born of the Virgin Mary in Nazareth, the one that died for my sins, sentenced by Jews and executed by Roman soldiers, who came alive after three days and appeared before Mary Magdeline. I've been informed that I'm not really a Christian. I believe in a different Jesus Christ born of the Virgin Mary in Nazareth, who died for my sins because he was sentenced by the Jews and executed by Roman soldiers and came alive again in three days and appeared before Mary Magdeline. WOW, just wow. I suppose that sounds crazy because it did to me.
The beginning I suppose. So Daddy mentioned that we were going to have a Sunday service to the Haywood's in case they wanted to come and participate. Mr. Haywood let Daddy know that they have been having prayer meetings on Sundays as well. They thought it would be a great idea to combine meetings. I thought it would be great. It's always nice to have fresh points of view and new perspectives.
It was Mr. Haywood's home so it's only polite for us to sit back and let him take the lead. They opened with a prayer and we all sang "In the Garden". They had some extra hymnals so it was easy to follow along. Mr. Haywood gave a sermon on Revelation and Isiah and how people coming alive and being vicious was a punishment from G-d to destroy the wicked. Then we sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic". I knew that one. I was finally thinking that it was over, and as disrespectful as it may be, I was so relieved. Never have I been so glad that a Sunday Meeting was over, except maybe a few times when I was little and forgot to use the bathroom before getting in my seat.
Then Mrs. Haywood asked if anyone wanted to be saved and to be converted and to give their hearts to Christ. This sounded like the beginning of another round, but I wanted to be polite and so I tried to discreetly stretch my back a bit and prepare for more listening. I thought she was going to say something inspiring about accepting the Atonement and constant striving to be true to the faith. What she actually wanted was for everyone to take turns standing up to publicly confess their sins and reject the religions of man and be converted to become non- denominational which isn't a religion. I wasn't too comfortable about it and decided that I was politely staying in my seat, but, different stroked for different folks. T-Dog declared that he'd been saved for many years but repeated the prayer of conversion. Nobody else but the Haywood's stood up to publicly confess their wrongdoings.
Later on, after dinner Mrs. Haywood pulled me aside and expressed her concern that I was going to go to hell. That's when she dropped the WOW on me. I tried to explain that I'm a Christian, and she's sure I've been deceived. I asked her if we could politely agree to disagree.
Monday November 21st
Mrs. Haywood has a very organized way of running things. At breakfast everyone received a chore assignment with written instructions and an estimate of how long it should take, a time slot to use the shower, with instructions about picking up after yourself and a time limit. She let it be known that school would begin at ten o'clock, and that anyone without a High School Diploma would be expected to attend. Maggie supervised everyone as they worked on math first thing, then Mrs. Haywood took over for the rest. The morning went by very smoothly and productively.
In the afternoon I went to the cabin to see Old Man Jim while the adults discussed reclaiming the farm. It was finally decided that Glenn and Daryl are going to try to check the farm and assess the situation in the morning.
I was able to talk to Old Man Jim about one of the knots used in one of the snares in the book. He was able to show me how and let me try it until I was able to get it right. Jim and I talked about lots of stuff and gave me some tips and pointers about setting up snares. If I can't figure it out my own self he said that he will get Daryl to show me whatever I'm doing wrong in a couple of days. As simple as the diagrams are, I think I can figure it out without help. It's always nice to have a backup plan though.
When we got back to the Haywood's, I asked the youngers if they wanted to help me set up some snares. Pricilla and Ruby weren't too interested, but most of the boys and Maggie tagged along. After many tries, finally we got one set up. It looked so much easier in the book. I hope it works. I guess we'll see in the morning.
On another note, Old man Jim will be 99 on Friday. I think I am going to add a new goal. I want to live to be 99 before I die. When I think of all the things he's done and seen in his life time I'm so amazed. Imagine all the history I'll be able to see, like a living time capsule. The stories to tell. This thing can't possibly last for ever. My journals may be valuable to historians some day, like Laura Ingals Wilder or Anne Frank.