For the disclaimer see the Authors Note at the beginning of Chapter 1
The Journals Of Elizabeth Anne Green
Chapter 12
Friday February 16th
I was the first one up this morning, I did my qi gong, and then went outside and tended the chickens and gathered the eggs. Then I started the coffee in the percolator and water in the kettle. It didn't take much time for Daryl to be up after smelling the coffee. As soon as I poured it into his mug he took it out to the front porch to drink it with his morning cigarette.
While he was occupied with that, I made fried eggs, spam and toast. Then I woke up Daddy, Maggie and Glenn. Glenn started on his mug of coffee as soon as I said breakfast, and it didn't take long for Maggie and Daddy to make their appearance at the table. Daryl came in and set his mug of coffee by his plate so I refilled it and sat down to lead morning prayer and blessed breakfast. Everyone ate and left.
Daryl drank his third cup of coffee and Daddy had a second mug of cocoa while I hauled in a few buckets of water to heat so I could do dishes, and mop, and have some left for whatever came up.
They saw me start cleaning and took their mugs to the porch. I guess there's nothing scarier than a woman cleaning. When the cabin was in order I cleaned up after the horses. It's nice that Daryl's back, with him here I don't have to worry about the pigs or the goats. I finished with the horses in time to start on lunch, that was just reheating the rest of last nights dinner.
Just as I was getting ready to let everyone know that lunch was ready T-dog and Sheriff Grimes showed up to have a meeting with Daddy, Glenn, Maggie and Daryl about checking out the farm to see how things are now that the military has cleared out Randall's people. That was the topic of discussion through lunch. It was decided that Monday will be the day.
I think it will be nice to finally be able to go home and have my room and my clothes and be able to play the piano, and be in a familiar place with the memories of everyone around me.
I think Old Man Jim knew he was going to die. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to tuck letters into the back pack in my red notebook. There was one for Daryl, one for Merle and mine is tucked in the back flyleaf. Since this zips, I won't loose it there. Daryl was sure mad when I gave him his. Mostly that Jim knew and didn't say anything. He headed off into the woods, presumably to sulk and read his letter. It was an hour or so after lunch that I found them and gave his to him and he still isn't back. Maggie, Glenn and Daddy went to bed some time ago. I pray nothing has happened to him.
I was pretty disturbed about my letter to be completely honest. It's instructions and warnings and advice and encouragement. I showed it to Daddy and he seemed to take it very seriously. I had forgotten that Daddy was made a Patriarch, He lives up to his callings in a low key way. I just usually take his style of ministering for granted I guess. He's not perfect, who is, but I know he tries. I guess my point is, he gave me a blessing. He's given me blessings before as a father, but this was different. He basically confirmed everything in the letter and then some. I think that's the only reason I'm as chill as I've been, sitting here waiting for Daryl.
Saturday February 17th
Maria and Theresa came over again today. They brought a bag of Arm and Hammer baking soda and a box of borax from Mrs. Haywood. Her boys went on a run and brought back a bunch I guess. I appreciate Carrols efforts. I understand Maggie wanting me to have a social life and encouraging her. I actually have things to do in the mornings, but, I'll be social because it makes Daddy happy.
We spent about an hour and a half sitting at the table drinking sweetened lemon mint and rose hip infusions and making spiced molasses cookies. It was kind of fun actually. Theresa is kind of an airhead, she is mostly focused on boys and relationships. Maria is real funny, I love her sense of humor. She isn't to fond of Mrs Haywood requiring her to spend three hours a day minimum studying and having chores, but conceded the necessity of things being done. Teresa is annoyed that she isn't allowed to go in Pauls room and that she and Maria are expected to be at the barn after dinner.
I suppose it would be hard to get used to suddenly having structure and rules and stuff after being on my own and making my own decisions. They've been on their own since September, just wandering from place to place when food runs out or when strangers start snooping around. The only reason that they accepted Daddy's offered safety was that he reminded them of their Grandpa. Overall, they seem to be very happy at the Haywoods. Maria is learning to fix engines and work on electronics, and is thinking about growing her hair out. Theresa is enjoying learning to sew and cook.
I could do with less details about Hank and Paul and their budding relationships. I will be honest and admit that part of it is envy. I suppose in time I will meet "The One", either in this life or the next. I am impatient or greedy, I'm only 16. I have plenty of time. I have eight years until I "officially" get old maid status, even if I have managed to attain the rank of Ma'am. That's really a long time, maybe I should add not worrying about being single and just enjoy it next time I do Goal Evaluation.
Sunday February 18th
It's been rainy since last night. It started with clouds that made it dark a little early, and the rain started as I was getting ready for bed. Theres a small leak in the roof and I had to run downstairs to get a pan to catch it in. I didn't see Daryl standing next to the window. When I bent to grab the bucket I saw him as the lightning cracked. It almost scared the soul out of my body. Anyway, the rain was nice. I've always loved to listen to it. The drips in the bucket were drowned out once the bottom was covered in water. It was like a lullaby.
It was still raining when I got up. I was drenched before I made it to the chicken coop. I was absolutely soggy by the time I made it back to the porch with the eggs. I stood out on the porch freezing for a few minutes waiting for the water to drip off so I wouldn't get water everywhere. That was probably foolish. I should have probably changed sooner than I did. I made breakfast in my damp jeans and t-shirt. I did have the sense to hang my jacket on a chair by the stove, and set my boots near it too.
When Maggie came down stairs and saw me she made me go upstairs and dry off and change. I felt fine until after Sunday meeting. It wasn't until after Maggie and I finished cleaning up after lunch that my head started hurting. Daddy saw me in the rocking chair crocheting a pot holder and thought I didn't look good and decided that I should go to bed, so here I am. The Tylenol is starting to work. Good night.
Monday February 19th
I've been stuck in bed most of today. My fever broke and my headache is gone but everyone is insisting that I rest. I'm glad to be allowed to get out of bed and sit in the rocking chair. I finished the last of the potholders and the last of my yarn.
I presented Daryl with his new socks. He seems to like them. He's wearing them at least. He's been unusually quiet and pensive since he got back to the cabin early Saturday morning, looking like he'd slept in a tree or something. I kind of want to ask him about his letter from Mr. Jim. I won't, but it's like trying not to scratch a particularly annoying bug bite.
The weather is still drizzly. Maggie made dinner tonight. It was spaghetti and it was wonderful. It was real spaghetti, not the MRE stuff reheated. She also made garlic bread with the herbed butter, and she and Glenn went out and picked wild salad greens. For desert we had Oreo's. I can only guess where those came from.
Tuesday February 20th
There's a herd in the yard. It moved in last night. Fortunately all the goats were locked in their shed. I just hope the two nannies don't end up engorged or with mastitis. The chickens are locked up tight in their coop and the pigs are in their shed. Dot and Bull are in their stalls. My biggest worry is that the pigs will try to eat each other if they get too hungry before we can go out and feed them.
To pass the time we all stayed inside and played card games like Rummy, Bridge and Poker. Daddy won 291 pinto beans. I finished the mending pile, and I had to be ordered to stop cleaning. I read five more chapters of the Yellow Emperors Classic, then Daddy got curious and asked me to read a bit to him, so I ended up reading the first 3 chapters out quietly to everyone.
Dinner was a quiet affair and as soon as dark got here we had family prayer and went to bed. Even with the wood shutters on the insides of the window, no one wanted to risk any light going through the cracks.
Wednesday February 21st
Maggie apologized to me when we were in bed last night. Seeing Daryl and I interact for the last couple of days made her realize that we have nothing going on, or we are hiding it better than she's ever seen a couple sneak around. We usually talk at night but not often about boys.
I explained that I have decided to be happy and have fun with being single. It's not like my clock is as close to ticking out as hers. I probably have at least have twenty-five child bearing years left, and the idea of having kids in our current environment scares the hell out of me. I asked her about her thoughts on it and she figures that G-d will provide a way. I think maybe she's crazy. Women die giving birth, even in hospitals with doctors and modern medicine and surgeries and everything. She said she has faith in me, studying all that traditional medicine stuff and helping her. I guess the pressure is really on now. That's why I was able to plow through twelve chapters and pay better attention and take notes.
I should probably note that the herd cleared off this afternoon. Once the majority of them were out of sight Daryl cracked the door open and shot seven in the front yard. He did the same thing in the back but only had to shoot four. By dinner time the all of stragglers were taken care of.
There are still a bunch wandering around the road and milling about the fences around the Haywood's farm. As soon as Daryl saw them he hurried back and thats why we were so discrete about tending the animals.
The animals were fine. Maggie and Glenn walked me to the barn so I could check on Dot and Bull. I fed them a little at a time by hand to keep them from bolting their food. The goats were painfully swollen. Maggie and I were able to empty them but it took a while. The one with grey and brown splotches was whimpering and her udders were very warm. Daddy found some udder cream and gave them each an antibiotic shot from Old Man Jim's supplies, found in a bin in the back of the shed, just in to head off any infection.
Thursday February 22nd
I spent the entire morning doing laundry with Maggie on the back porch. We sang to pass the time and it was very pleasant. I remember how miserable school always described living before electricity and modern conveniences as being. It's definitely less convenient, but it hasn't really been miserable.
What's miserable is missing Mama, Jenny, Shawn, Gertie and Mr Jim, and even that isn't miserable, it's just sad, and maybe a bit lonely.
Sheriff Grimes, T-Dog, Pete, Dave and Hank stopped by to check on us shortly after lunch. They were worried about us since the herd had been so big. It didn't really affect them, they were just stuck behind their fences. They were surrounded until early this morning. Between the weather and the herd, the plans to check out the farm went astray. The new plan is to go check on the farm tomorrow. Daddy, Glenn, Maggie and T-Dog are going and expect to be gone overnight. They will be hiking the last mile so that if anyone is still there they can tell before they come out of the tree line. I asked if it was appropriate to leave Daryl and I alone, but Daddy said that he and Daryl have spoken a lot over the last week or so and he's not worried.
I have venison marinating to mince and brown tonight so I can make them some meat pies to take with them, along with biscuits and a tub of red eye gravy. The rest of the hunk of meat is going to be sliced to batter and fry into chicken fried steak. I'm also going to make beets and squash to go with it.
Friday February 23rd
We walked to the Haywood farm this morning. That is where Maggie, Glenn and Daddy had agreed to meet T-Dog.
Everyone seems to be doing okay. I finally got to talk to Paul and it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be. He and Teresa are really getting along. I actually think that they are the perfect couple. They are just so stinking cute its nauseating.
Hank and Maria are keeping things on a lower key, sort of like Maggie and Glen with less public displays of affection, thank goodness. I do think that Mrs Haywood has something to do with that.
Carl is doing great. He had to show off how he's managed to get halfway through the Three Character Classic and recited it for me. Then he made me watch as he wrote all the characters he had learned. They were the same ones he recited. I'm pretty impressed actually. He, Prissy and Ruby have been competing to see who can learn the most the fastest. I could have pointed out that he had a head start, but I didn't. I'm proud of him.
The most awkward moment was after Daddy, Maggie, Glenn and T-Dog left in the Hyundai. Somehow Mrs Haywood thought that I was going to be staying on the farm, not going back to the cabin alone with Daryl. She tried to get Mr Haywood involved, but he just said that he would be informing my father about this. They were sure I brought my bag because I was supposed to stay. I tried to explain that it never leaves me for any reason. Daryl told them that I was coming with him, and then draped his arm around my back across my shoulder and firmly propelled me towards the gate. I was glad to be leaving but it was a bit awkward being that close to him.
Daryl let go of me as soon as we were out of sight of the gate, the walk home was pleasant mostly because he doesn't seem to feel a need to fill every silence with conversation. It was actually pretty warm and sunny. The porch thermometer said it was sixty-eight degrees when we got to the cabin.
I spent most of the morning studying. Then I made lunch followed by ironing, a quick sweep and mop and more studying. Chores were quick. Dinner was squirrel and venison stew and biscuits, with an applesauce cake for desert. Cleanup was uneventful. I read scriptures to myself, until Daryl let me know it would be fine if I read aloud, in the light of the sunset at the kitchen window. Daryl was whittling something when I finally bid him goodnight. All in all, a very routine day.
Saturday February 24th
Everyone got back early this morning. The house is a disaster. It would have been nice if the commander had mentioned that they had blown our house to smithereens while clearing out Randalls group. Daddy and Maggie think that a lot of our stuff is salvageable. Most of the stuff in the root cellar is okay. The house itself was largely ransacked but the pictures were left alone, The piano is okay. The safe in the floor of Daddy's closet was undisturbed. Maggie brought me all my hair stuff, makeup, and glitter pens, as you can see.
Glenn and Daryl went to retrieve Jims truck from the barn just this side of Hogansville and got back shortly after lunch.
I'm glad that Daddy was able to bring me the picture that was taken of our family at Shawn and Jenny's wedding. The picture of two girls with the bride are of Gertie and I with Jenny. Jenny of course is the one in white, and Gertie is the one with the short black hair. I'm on the other side. The other one is of course Jenny and Shawn. They were so happy. Who would have thought things would change so much? I wonder how the Sharps and everyone are doing in Colorado. We never were able to let them know what happened to her.
Sunday February 25th
Quiet Sundays are my favorite. This Sunday was not my favorite. It started off Ok. I played "I Am A Child of G-d" and "Be Still My Soul" with Maggie's guitar. She played "Amazing Grace" and "In the Garden" and a bunch of others. I think she was glad to have it back. She showed Glenn a few chords, and I don't want to say he is bad. He just needs a bit more practice. I'm sure he will get it. Anyhow, It was nice to not have to sing the hymns acapella. We had our lesson on the modern Church from "Gospel Principles" followed by the sacrament. It was very pleasant.
Actually, most all of today was very pleasant. I shouldn't let one incident change that. It was only unpleasant for about 5 minutes. Mr and Mrs Haywood made good on their threat to rat me out about staying with Daryl unchaperoned. Daddy reassured them that Daryl and I have nothing going on. I think that maybe they believed Daddy. It's nice to have family that is willing to stand up for me.
Carrol came too, because she was concerned. I guess she partially blames her parents for letting her spend so much time with Ed, She wholeheartedly insists that Daryl is an honorable person and at the same time that she expresses that she still insists that she doesn't want me to be taken advantage of. The dichotomy of those two statements confuses me. I have a hard time understanding people sometimes.
Oh, and I found a copy of Fowlers Word Usage on the bookshelf in Old Man Jim's room. It has a lot of interesting words. I'm sure thats how he managed to swear so creatively. So yeah, "Dichotomy" is my word for today.
It was a good day.
Monday February 26th
Today was interesting, Hank got a wedding ring set from somewhere and proposed to Maria in front of everybody. They are a bit young for sure, but its not as if there are a lot of options these days. They also seem to get along well, and their personalities are very compatible. I understand that Mr. Haywood isn't very enthused because they are so young but Mrs Haywood is ecstatic. I guess Hank finally came to grips with the idea that if Betty had been in the Fort Benning camp in the beginning of the outbreak that the likelihood of her coming back at this point is slim to none. That is probably why he's rushing this time. I understand that they are planning for next Wednesday because thats how long it will take Mrs. Haywood to make a dress.
Paul, Peter and Hank share a single wide trailer across the field from their parents doublewide. Dave had an apartment in Peachtree but had been bunking with Paul since the Illness started.
Daryl mentioned something about helping them go to a trailer park and hauling one of the house trailers out of there and taking it to the Haywood Farm. It's eight miles, but Dave and Paul spent a summer moving them and setting them up for Clayton a few years back and feel confident that it's doable. They want Glenn and Daryl to help them as a "Wedding Surprise", mostly because they don't want to have to live with newly weds. Luthersville Rd is not a big road and actually clear, mostly because it never had much traffic to begin with. No ill have come down that road in seriously large numbers and as long as the guys stay in the vehicles they will probably be okay. They intend to move it Tuesday afternoon furniture and all.
Teresa and Mrs. Haywood are supposed to distract Maria and Hank with wedding stuff while a house goes up the driveway. What I worry about is that there may be ill in the trailer park, or that someone who is living there may get upset. They have a plan for that though. They have two Suburban Propane trailers. I think they intend to trade the half full one to any residents that may be there if thats what it takes to get a house in an amicable fashion.
I'm not sure what they intend to do about sewage, but I do know that Dave used the tractor to dig the trench from the irrigation well pipe to the new homesite and got everything leveled and ready for a concrete pad yesterday. He, James and Peter intend to lay the pipe and pour the slab today. Tomorrow James and Steve are going to set up battery storage for a solar system. It's all planned out. It's a heck of a lot crazier than Shawn and Jennie's wedding, that's for sure. Anyway that's todays drama. At least it's happy drama.
Todays word is frowzy. Goats, left to themselves begin to look frowzy. Old Man Jim's goats are not frowzy, They get washed and curried every Saturday wether they need it or not.
I am three quarters of the way through the Yellow Emperors Classic. Then onto The Foundations of Chinese Medicine, A comprehensive Text.
Tuesday February 27th
We all went to the Haywoods after chores, Dave and Steve came over late last night and said that we needed to come and hear the next report from the military that was repeating on the radio.
The report is 30 minutes long and is being reported hourly. It is listing everything from what they know about transmission of the virus, sanitation after exposure, prevention, remaining safe zones, how different states and countries have been affected, and immunity rates by age and sex.
They estimate that out of the ten million people living in our state when this began, only about one million have managed to survive. They also said that the UN is trying to make an easy test for immunity for children and adults, but that the likelihood on a vaccine being produced this year is slim and for people to try to stay safe.
It turns out that the herds are consolidating. I guess that they are attracted to each other, or just come across each other and kind of just amble along. They are warning of 17 major herds averaging 100 thousand ill or more and what direction they are moving in. One near Atlanta is thought to be almost a million. I'm pretty sure that many people pressing against a fence could bring it down if its not built strong enough. On the bright side, Whats left of the govt. thinks that children born to mothers that may have had any minor degree of exposure, may have a higher rate of immunity or partial immunity. I think that is great for Peanut.
I made mayonnaise last night for chicken salad. While it wasn't Hellmans, It turned out well and the chicken salad was good. I put it on leftover biscuits from breakfast. That plus nice frothy milk and oatmeal raisin cookies was the perfect lunper. I know its probably a made up word, but if you eat between breakfast and lunch its brunch, so what is too late for lunch but early for supper? Lunper? Lunner if you call supper dinner?
Tuesdays plans are still a go. Mrs. Haywood asked me to help with Maria's dress so I will probably spend most tomorrow across the road, while Daddy, Maggie and Glenn are going to check out Shawn's house and the other two houses on the farm.
Even though the main house is a loss, we may be able to stay there just fine. We just need to reenforce the fences. We were all kind of avoiding the idea, because it was Jenny and Shawn's home but the memories would have haunted us at the house we grew up in just as much anyway. I think Maggie just wants us to be in a place of our own. I get that. I hope it works out, because as much as I like the place I'm at, its not my home.
Todays word is Metronymic, it means a maternal sir name. Maria is insisting on keeping her maiden name so it will change from Maria Consuela Garcia de Hernandez to Maria Consuela Hernandez de Haywood. That's part of why Mr Haywood is kind of apprehensive about the marriage. He thinks its feminism run amuck, but Hank thinks its great. I suppose thats what matters.
Wednesday February 28th
Today was overcast and cool, so today was a perfect day to go to the Haywoods to sew. Mrs. Haywood had already done the fitting and construction. I am embroidering a pale green vine with orange blossoms in a pale cream color along the bottom of the skirt, neckline and the cuffs of the tiny puffed sleeves. I also have tiny gold seed beads and crystal faceted seed beads to embellish the embroidery with. Its turning out pretty nice. It is an aline princess cut dress with a square neckline. It is simple and elegant. She was given a choice of 3 patterns that Mrs. Haywood already had on hand and then Mrs. Haywood lengthened and widened the skirt. She just doesn't have time to sit and embroider with everything else she has to do. The white linen was from her stash. She had been intending to make it into blouses and Sunday button ups for her boys for Easter, but decided that this was a better use for it. It will probably take until Tuesday to finish.
Daddy is off with Maggie and Glenn checking out the rentals and making sure they are okay. The tenants evacuated as soon as the radio announced that it was the thing to do, so the houses are vacant, but, probably fine.
Daryl came to walk me home before dinner but Mrs. Haywood insisted that we stay for dinner before going back. And that brings me to the my new word for today. Feijoada. Maria and Teresas Mother was from Brazil and they made it for dinner. It was delicious. Savory and spicy and delicious.
I hope Daddy, Maggie and Glenn are doing okay tonight. They said they would be back tomorrow afternoon so I refuse to worry. Well, I'm trying not to.
Thursday March 1st
I did laundry and chores before going to the Haywoods to sew. All in all an uneventful morning.
The event was when Daddy, Maggie and Glenn got back in the afternoon. The houses are empty but in okay condition. Daddy offered the little white house next to the north pasture to the Grimes' and Carrol, T-Dog and Glen the yellow house on the other side of Shawn's house. Daddy, Maggie and I will stay in Shawn and Jennie's house. Glenn asked to stay with us, so he will have the room with Shawn's bunkbed. Daddy will have the Shawn and Jennie's room. Maggie is going to use Jennie's brass daybed and I will use the trundle that rolls out from under it.
They will probably relocate Monday. They are going to work on reenforcing fences and boarding up the windows and making the doors stronger before we move. The three houses are a stone throw from each other. Really. I could easily throw a rock out the widow of Shawn's house and hit what was recently the Hudgens Residence or the Mathews'. For messages they are going to string a clothes line on pulleys between the upstairs windows. Its only 20 feet maybe, so close.
I will be staying here until the wedding because I have a dress to embroider and a bride to distract. Everyone is excited.
Accelerando is todays word. It means a song that starts off slowly but increases in speed as it repeats. I listened to the kids sing "I Like To Eat Apples and Bananas" most of the morning. It's an accelerando. It was cute the first few times, but got annoying quickly.
Friday March 2nd
I woke up cheerful this morning. It was enough that even Glenn noticed and said something about it. Daryl just grunted something about morning people and that he woke up when he heard me singing in the kitchen. He didn't seem to mind though. I know he at least appreciated the coffee. He drank all but the two mugs Glenn managed to get. I think that they are going to fight over it one of these days.
I made biscuits and peppery scrapple gravy, and eggs. Maggie Daddy and I had chocolate. With ours. All in all it was a nice morning, despite the gloomy skies. Glenn and Maggie walked me to the Haywoods, and Maggie asked about the dress. I explained the design. And when we got inside I showed it to her.
Glenn hightailed it out of the house saying something about helping Dave and James retrieving cinderblocks for something. I think they are prepping for an outdoor kitchen on the patio area of the concrete slab he mentioned on the way over.
Maggie started the youngers on math and I started on the embroidery. When Maria finished her required coursework I helped her do an iron on transfer and showed her some basic stitches for a sampler.
She is beginning to realize that she is going to be a married woman and is worried about how to make the Boy's trailer a bit homier. I think her goal is to eventually make some curtains and wants to embroider butterflies on them. I bet she is going to be surprised when Hank carries her over the threshold and takes the blindfold off. She's going to have a whole house to decorate.
Bibliophile is todays word. Its someone who loves books. That would be Mr Haywood. He has stacks and stacks of books. I'm pretty sure he's read them all too. He's always reading something if he's inside.
Saturday March 3rd
Today started off pretty normal and ended pretty normal for a Saturday.
Maggie and Glenn went to get some stuff. I guess Maria asked Maggie if she could find her some Deppo for birth control. I'm so glad that she's thinking ahead. They also brought back a set of cast Iron cook wear and linens and dishes as housewarming gifts.
Daryl went out hunting and caught about a dozen rabbits, then he put chicken wire around the garden plot moved the chickens into it to naturally fertilize it. While he did all that I did up the rabbits in the pressure canner. All but two. Those are currently in the stewpot with some wild shallots, potatoes, and squash. I will add the slippery dumplings in another hour or so. My canned rhubarb pie will go in the oven about the same time..
Daddy, the Sheriff and T-dog went home to finish working on the fences and should be back soon. I should probably go back to studying while I can.
Sunday March 4th
It was cool and cloudy today. The nice thing about cloudy days are the spectacular sunsets and sunrises. This morning I almost scorched Daryl and Glen's pancakes while I was mesmerized by the colors reflecting off the clouds. Its still chill out, but spring is beginning to creep up on us. We will probably start the seeds soon.
Since its Fast Sunday I didn't make anything for Maggie, Daddy or myself. We'll eat at dinner though.
Carrol and T-dog came over for Sunday meeting. It was nice, we bore our testimonies and sang while Maggie and Daddy took turns playing the guitar. The focus topic was faith in adversity, so there was a lot of friendly discussion.
For lunch I reheated last nights soup and biscuits for Carrol, T-dog, Daryl and Glenn, but Daryl said he wasn't eating if I wasn't. He was nice enough to escort me to the barn so I could hang out with Bull and Dot. A few minutes after I started combing Dot's mane and Daryl had started to work on one of the harnesses Carl ran in and told us everything about how things are going on the other side of the road. He showed me all the symbols he's learned. Daryl seemed impressed. I know I was. As soon as I finished grooming Bull we decided to head on in.
It seemed like everyone was there and Maggie had already started making dinner with Carrol's help. Since it was crowded and busy I retreated to the rocking chair and used the time to finish The Yellow Emperors Classic. I will start on "The Foundations of Chinese Medicine." tomorrow. I hope that Ms Maciocia can explain things better than Huang Di's friends and advisors. It was easy to read but disorganized. It just skips around and there are profuse descriptions but a picture really is worth a lot more than a thousand words. I flipped through it and it has illustrations and tables and stuff so I'm hopeful that it can clear up some of the things I'm confused about.
Well, I need to help Maggie and Daddy gather up all their stuff and be ready to leave early in the morning. They are moving tomorrow. I'm going home after the wedding. I still have a bunch to go before I'll be finished with the embroidery on the skirt.
Monday March 5th
Today was actually pretty good. I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I know that life is unpredictable, and even before the illness happened, every day was new and I never knew how it would be, but I had a basic baseline set of parameters I could expect, you know?
When Daddy and Maggie were at Ft Benning I was alone for the first time since August. It was scary, mostly because I had no idea what was going on, or if I would ever see them alive and well again. I'm worried about them. I think I have good reason to be apprehensive. There's the ill, horrible people and nothing seams solid anymore. I know I'm safe. Daryl won't let anything happen to me and I have places to hide if I need to. I'm safe. I think I just worry about Daddy and Maggie so much. No one else is left. My family is mostly gone or in places not known. I will be alone if anything happens. I know Daryl and the Haywoods would take care of me, but it isn't the same.
Everyone left on time and they radioed at four like they were supposed to. The light rain showers didn't affect the drive and everyone was able to get settled in. I spent the day at the Haywoods embroidering and went back to the cabin at about five to start on dinner.
While I started the water boiling Daryl sat and peeled the potatoes and cut up wild shallots and talked.
I think Daryl is lonely without his brother. I listened to him tell stories about all kinds of things they did together. His brother thinks nothing is more important than family. He may be rough around the edges, but its obvious that Merle has always prioritized taking care of him. He realizes that his brother isn't perfect.
He explained it like this. "Some people don't got a lot of tools in their toolbox's, but Merle didn't barely have a toolbox, and had to scrape by on sticks". I think Merle did his best. The more I hear about him the more I look forward to meeting him someday. I haven't heard anyone say much nice about Merle, but I wonder how much of it is because they don't know him well. Jack was pretty ornery if he didn't know you. Maybe its like what Daddy said about Jack when he first came to the farm.
It seems to me their Mom was so stressed by their dad and her situation life, that she was running on empty. He remembered that she tried. She would do something nice, and his Dad would turn it into a reason to rip her up for being to soft. The more I heard the more I wanted to cry. He just shrugged it off, focussing on the things that she had done for his brother and him, and treated his dad's reactions like a punch line, sometimes literally. I wish I could go back in time and get her out of there, or find him and his brother and just hug them. I think I understand Jim's note better now.
I guess as long as I've been here things are kind of routine. I should probably try to finish the mid chapter questions before I go to bed. Tomorrow is a big day for the guys. Glenn, Mr. Grimes and T-dog are all coming to help with the trailer, incase they run into trouble.
Oh, Enumerate is like Numbers in the bible. It means to list things with their statistics. I guess with everything else, I forgot to look for a word in the Fowlers Word Usage until I saw it on Jim's bedside table this morning when I moved my stuff downstairs.
Tuesday March 6th
I finished the embroidery just in time to distract Maria with trying on the dress. It was a bit cloudy out so we never bothered to open the curtains. We got the last bits of handwork done just a few minutes before Daryl came to take me home. He was there considerably later than I had expected, and I had been kind of concerned. That said, I had a pretty uneventful day. When Daryl finally came to get me, he thought I should come along quickly. Knowing what I know now I'm glad I did. It seems that Everyone was waiting for us at the cabin, tired and sweaty.
There were some sketchy negotiations that happened for Dave to be able to make the deal for the trailer. It seems that they got to Summer Hill there were 5 families still living there. They were doing pretty well, and already had a Rex-Cal Natural Gas truck near the entrance. What they did want was 5 dairy cows already gestating with the promise of yearly stud service for two years, 30 hens and 5 roosters, help with plowing and preparing the field next to the trailer park for planting and seeds for two years and animal feed for the cows and chickens the Haywoods brought them and for the goats they already had and help with hauling cinder blocks for their wall. I suppose thats better than a 20 year mortgage. They did get the trailer after delivering the livestock, seeds, feed and helping to load and unload cinder blocks on Summer Hill's flat bed tractor trailer 3 times. The other thing is that they negotiated for two trailer houses not one. They are going to get the other one after they help get the field prepared and planted this spring, and show the Summer Hill people how to manage the gardens and animals. Teresa doesn't know it yet, but Paul wants to ask her to marry him this spring. That's part of why they negotiated for two trailers. It also gives the Summer Hill People leverage to make sure the fields are taken care of. I'm glad to know that there are more people holding on and doing okay.
Todays word is sciamachy. It means to fight with something that isn't really there, like if someone has a psychotic break. With everything everyone has gone through and the stress levels I'm surprised that no one's had a psychotic episode yet. Psychological trauma can be weird, it affects people differently, and sometimes breaks them entirely. Daryl explained some of what happened when he took Nellie for that ride a few months back. He must have hit his head pretty hard when she threw him. He described fighting with Merle, even though it was a delusion. So, yeah. Sciamachy.
Wednesday March 7th
So the wedding was actually pretty short. There was really no one to officiate so I'm not to sure how valid its going to be when things get back to order. On the other hand, its only in the last hundred years that marriages were legal proceedings. The government used to recognize marriages as long as they were recorded at a church, so there is that. It was part of the old Common Law system.
Don't get me wrong, it was beautiful. They were married at the Alvaton Baptist Church. Mr Haywood walked Maria down the aisle. They said their vows and Daddy officiated and they signed their names and the date in the registry book on the table in the foyer. It was very moving actually.
Afterwards, we all gathered in their new home for the reception. I have no idea how they managed to keep Hank from figuring out they had moved a house here, Especially since there was a reduction in the livestock numbers and all, but they were both blindfolded and Hank was instructed when to pick Maria and step over the threshold, once she was standing on the floor they were told that they could take each other's blindfolds off. Now Maria didn't realize that she wasn't in the boys trailer because she hadn't been there before. It wasn't until Hank said asked where they were that she realized something was up.
That was pretty nice, but being human, as happy as I was for them I'm even happier for me. I'm as close to home as I'm ever likely to be. I'm sharing a room with Maggie, sleeping on the same pull out bed I always slept on when ever I spent the night at Jenny's house. The mattress still smells like her. I'm happy to be here, so why can't I stop crying and just be happy. Most of Maggies stuff is in here and she had brought most of my stuff in here too. It was like being home, but not. I should be happy and ecstatic and blissful and thankful, so why aren't I. I am bitter and sad. It makes no sense. I think being here makes me miss Mama and Jenny and Shawn even more than I did before. Its just right in my face. Its like I'm surrounded by their shadows and its suffocating.
It;s like the azimuth of the sun is disjointed and wrong, or maybe the orbits are off course and skewed.
Thursday March 8th
Today was hard. I miss the cabin, mostly because I had free reign and was able to stay busy. Maggie spent the morning learning how to make Korean pancakes with wild shallots, and grated squash with Glenn. He is threatening to teach her to make kimchi next. I understand that its his favorite. He spent most of the morning talking about how much he liked to help his mother and sisters make it every year. He expressed his love for kimchi pancakes, and noodles fried with kimchi, and kimchi fried rice, and kimchi with bulgogi and kimchi kimbap. I'm sure you picked up on the general theme. I suppose that maybe it would be good to keep an eye out for Napa cabbage, carrot, daikon radish and hot pepper seeds.
So with no mending to do, Maggie and Glenn monopolizing the kitchen, Bull and Dot staying in Daryl's barn, and Daddy and T-dog working on fences with the Sheriff, I spent the day at loose ends. Tomorrow isn't looking much better. It least I have time to study. I did get to hang out with Carl. We worked on more of the "Three Character Classic". I think I was babysitting to tell the truth. I suppose theres worse things I could end up doing.
Tomorrow I get to help empty a portion of the root cellar so we can use the food that got canned last fall.
Friday March 9th
Well, it was all for nothing. The fences are down and trampled. A herd came up on us as we were bringing back the last load from the root cellar. Its not just any herd. Its huge. I can't see the end of it. I know that the visibility is limited due to the treeline being as it is, but they have been moving steadily, if slowly since about 4:30 this afternoon.
They have been bumping into the houses and the sheer press of bodies packed tight together has caused several pieces of siding to come off the house.
Saturday March 10th
We have been passing notes with the clothesline. The Grimes are worried about the structural stability of the house. The press of bodies on the porch pillars caused the porch cover to collapse. Carrol and T-dog are talking about rigging some kind of zip line to come over if things don't improve by morning. The ill broke the door frame and are wandering around the downstairs. They have barricaded themselves in the upstairs and are safe for now. We sent them food via the cloths line.
Everyone is tense.
Sunday March 11th
Carrol and T-dog ended up having to rig a Zip line through the windows of sorts. It didn't zip very well. They ended up fastening a heavy rope to the bed and shimmying across over a sea of ill. They were motivated to take such a risk because the ill managed to get up the stairs and through the flimsy interior door. It was not designed with an apocalypse in mind.
We may have to evacuate through the heard. Fortunately all Daddy's rentals have attached garages, but we will have to abandon the minivan in the garage to the house Carrol and T-dog are in. It has the tents, not that tents are particularly safe to sleep in.
We had Sunday meeting on repentance and the repentance process. There are four steps. The first is admitting that you did wrong, apologizing to G-d or the person you wronged, or sometimes both. Making restitution and then not doing it again. All four things I like to avoid. I think its pride really. Who likes to admit that they screwed up? Not me. Apologizing is awkward and unpleasant, no mater how you do it. Restitution can be tricky and some things are harder not to do than others. It can mean changing habits or behavior and sometimes I don't want to put in the effort. On that note...
I decided that since there isn't much to do stuck inside like we are I may as well do the goal evaluation I've been putting off.
I haven't kept up with 3 positives like I was going to, and I lost my Yoga book. I think addressing my own failures is something I tend to avoid. I will admit that I don't like to admit to myself when I don't do as well as I know I could. I tend to avoid it, but here I am. I need goals. Something to work towards. I know I've been kind of focused on the Chinese medicine, but only in a vague disorganized way. I think that Is contributing to why I have felt aimless the last week or so.
Instead of Yoga, I'm going to focus on qi gong. I am going to learn all the routines in the book. I figure 1 routine a month is measurable and time bound. I don't expect perfection. One thing I have gotten from reading the explanations is that perfection isn't necessary, It's the striving for graceful movement and clarity of focus.
I am going to restart the three positives goal when I am having negative thoughts about people.
A goal that I've had a lot of success with was to get to know the people in our group better. I think I've accomplished that. Maybe not the Sheriff. I haven't had a lot of opportunity for any deep conversations with him. He tends to keep busy and that usually entails staying scarce. I think he avoids. Lorri that is. He will head into stupid situations, and is seemingly dauntless in the face of discomfort and danger so long as he can put off any confrontation with his wife, until things get bottled up. Then its explosive and destructive and completely dysfunctional. I get sidetracked. But in our lack of interaction, I think in a way I've gotten to know him pretty well. I think the mission was accomplished.
My last goal is to get through the curriculum in the order it was presented in the reading list. Time bound by Peanut. Although, There will always be new things to learn. There is so much in the Medica and I don't kink I can ever learn all of it. The most I can hope for is proficiency. So I'm thinking 6-8 weeks.
That's a little more than a book and a half a week. I can definitely do it if the heard sticks around. Stuck inside like I've been, I haven't had anything to do but study. Of course if the house doesn't stop shaking from the press of bodies its going to cave in and kill us all. That will solve my study issues. I'd rather not go that rout though.
I think we are having a meeting of sorts about it tomorrow.
Monday March 12th
It's been 4 days now since the heard got here. They are in constant movement in a north by north easterly direction. They are moving at a shuffling moseying pace. It takes about twenty minutes for one to walk the 150 yards of road frontage we can see from the front window. That's about a quarter of a mile per hour. That constant motion for four days means that so far approximately 24 miles of heard have walked by since this started. I'm not going to try to calculate how many ill have walked by. I don't have to. Glenn did it. He thinks based on the density this is probably the big heard. The million plus herd. He thinks about million and a half ill have walked by so far, and I can believe it.
Late last night the doors and windows finally all gave out downstairs in the Hudgens home. The downstairs was quickly overrun and because the stairs are open to below, they went straight up the stairs unimpeded. They ran up the stairs and barricaded themselves in the bedroom on the end and got our attention by throwing some candles at the house. They rigged a swinging seat on a rope to get Lorri, Carl and the Sheriff over here.
As soon as its dark we are loading up into the minivan and getting out. They are going to try to pull up to the garage of the Matthews house and Carrol, Maggie, Glenn and I are going to get the other vehicles. The plan is to take the tractor path leading directly to the farm to get away from the heard. Of course we could end up diverting part of the herd after us, or the rest of whats left of it, but we are just going to have to chance it. If we wait for them to get through the doors here, we won't be able to get out.
I probably won't have opportunity to write for a day or so. The ill or dead are between us and the Haywoods. They probably got to the Haywoods farm and Darly's cabin shortly after we left. Anyway, we won't be going that direction. Beyond towards the farm and onto the main road from the tractor paths we intend to take, I don't know where we will be going.
Tuesday March 13th
It actually worked. We piled into the van, Daddy pulled up against the door and we slid the side door open with barely enough clearance to get it open with ill banging on the back windows and other side. Everyone was on a lap or had someone on their lap. I was on Daddies lap, and Maggie was on Glens lap. Carrol, T-dog and luggage were in the back and Rick and Lorri were in the front. Carl was on the floor waiting for Glenn to get out so he could have his seat.
The reason Glenn, Maggie, Carrol and I were getting the other cars from the garages was because because we are small enough to squeeze through the narrow gap between the van and the garage doors.
Glenn and Maggie went first at the Hudgens garage to get the Hyundai. We pulled up at the side door as the ill banged on the windows. They got in and shut the door and we were off to the Matthews house and get the pickup.
I had my bag, arrows and bow, a knife and a revolver with 6 38special cartridges and a speed loader with 6 more. The gun would be great except that I have never fired it before. While my archery skills have improved, they aren't great. Daddy didn't want met to go but it was agreed that no one should go alone.
Carrol went first and had already shot two ill by the time I joined her. I got the door shut and I heard the van door slide shut, and the engine rev up as they drove off. At that point I realized we were alone except for the dead. As I came to that realization, I noticed a woman approaching Carrol. I shot towards her and the arrow penetrated her chest. The second one ended her torment and I started to help Carrol load anything that looked like it could be helpful to have with us into the back of the truck. The Mathew's didn't have an automatic door opener, or maybe it was that the electric is gone. We made the realization at the last minute. I told Carrol to get ready, and jumped out and heaved it as hard as I could. I don't think she was expecting that but she started backing as soon as I had it open and I was able to jump in and get the door shut just as the dead figured out what was going on.
We made it to our burnt out shell of a house. There were ill all along the way. Not nearly as dense as by the road, but nothing to be taken lightly. We pulled up next to where Rick had the minivan parked. He was moving occasionally to keep the dead from getting to close, but was obviously waiting for us. Maggie and Glenn were not far behind.
Rick rolled down his window and called out that we were going to head towards Briars Marina, and so we are here. Sherif Grimes and the other adults cleared out three of the twenty or so boats mored here. There's fishing supplies and stuff at the store here so we can use that to stretch our supplies. The swaying of the boat is kind of hypnotic and is making me relaxed. The sun setting on the water is beautiful. Anyway, thats our daring escape. I just hope we haven't jumped into the fire somehow.
Wednesday March 14th
So, we are staying in a little cabin cruiser called the Belarus. It has two cabins in the front with a tapering twin bed in each. I have the one on the left and Maggie has the one on the right. The captains cabin is in the back and Daddy is using it. The water is okay, It has a generator and we were able to listen to the military and NOAH weather reports. I was actually very surprised that NOAH is still working.
The Grimes have the one with thin red and yellow stripes along the waterline called "The Prince Mary" and Carrol, T-dog and Glen have the one with the red devils on the side, like on the cans of potted meat and is called "The Selma". We are all tethered together. Theres also a small yellow paddleboat shaped like a duck.
I had Cheerio's and powdered milk for breakfast. The rest of today was lazy. I sat and fished while I studied. Maggie made fish on the little grill in the kitchen for lunch and fried it for dinner with green beans and instant mashed potatoes.
The dead can float. I guess we all forgot about the one that they had to get out of the well. It's really very gross. Occasionally we can see arms, legs or torsos floating by. No heads though and about the time I asked Daddy why he thought that was, we got our answer. A lady in a swimsuit floated by and saw us. She was bloated and stank something awful. She noticed us and started flailing around to get us and came apart. While she was twisting around her head came off and sank. Daddy supposed it was because heads don't have enough tissue to build up gasses and become buoyant, so they sink.
I'm sure the fish are eating them. There are lots of fish and they are all rather big and well fed looking. I haven't said anything about that. I don't want to upset anyone. It didn't actually occur to me until after dinner and I saw some fish nibbling the finger of an arm floating on the current. I'm not sure if they are safe to eat.
I suppose the damage is done though, I guess if we all wake up alive in the morning we will all be okay. The only people sharing a room with anyone are Lorri and Rick, and I saw him in a hammock on the deck, so maybe not. If anyone gets ill, they probably won't hurt be able to anyone. I don't think I'm going to sleep much tonight though.