AN: Set immediately after "Double Blind – Chapter 6" in Retrograde.

VISITOR

a one-shot

London, England, Saturday, September 26th, 2064, early hours of the morning

Clara Ravenwood closed the attic door behind her as the TARDIS finished thrumming away, the sound fading into the traffic that was always rife in London no matter the time. The ship was gone. The only physical evidence it had been there was the displaced dust. For a few seconds, she paused and leant against the door, listening as hard as she could just in case it came back.

But it didn't.

They'd said their goodbyes.

She let out a deep sigh and left, descending a rickety and incredibly narrow staircase with a ceiling so low even she had to duck to get back to the top floor of Sally Sparrow's townhouse. Sally was in the cellar poring over the lost tome she had found in Brighton, while Esther was dead to the world in her bedroom on the floor below slowly healing from her encounter with Prometheus's anti-Lightning Girl technology. On the top floor, which had plenty more empty rooms that had long been gathering dust, there was only herself and Jenny.

It was to this guest bedroom, which was usually made up for the two of them because they were the only visitors that ever stayed the night in 'Sparrow Hall' as the house was nicknamed (much to Sally's chagrin), that she now went. Jenny was fast asleep flat on her back, an expression of pain on her face with her left arm sealed in a cast courtesy of Nios and Dr Cohen. Her broken ribs could not be bound, so she was left to struggle through the pain with whatever alien-strength painkillers they could find on the TARDIS.

Ravenwood pulled the ugly but surprisingly comfortable leather armchair over to the foot of the bed, further away from the crackling fire that was going. Sally didn't pay for central heating because the house was only fitted with gas. Esther could power heating elements with electricity for nothing, so there were fan heaters throughout the building, but otherwise, there were old-fashioned fireplaces and chimneys in all the rooms. Clara picked up the metal poker leaning by the fireplace and shoved the wood around. It smouldered a little and cinders curled up into the chimney.

"What did she want?" asked Jenny. Clara jumped; she'd been wrong, Jenny had woken up.

"You scared me. You're supposed to be sleeping," said Clara, setting the poker back down. She walked across the room, floorboards creaking, and sat on the edge of the bed carefully.

"Clara. What did-" Jenny tried to sit up and caused herself so much pain she collapsed right back down.

"Stay still," Clara said softly, helping Jenny rearrange the pillows and sort out the sheets. "Are you warm enough? I could probably find a hot water bottle in this house somewhere?"

"I'm fine," she said through gritted teeth, trying to hide her pain, "What did she want?"

"She just wanted to talk to me."

"She snuck in here? In the middle of the night?"

"It looks that way. But she's gone now. She wanted to know if you're alright."

"Of course she did," Jenny said snidely, not believing the Doctor's excuse.

"It's weird, though," Clara went on, "Like running into an ex, or something…"

"She's upset you," said Jenny seriously.

"Of course she's upset me, she just – she just showed up here, said… I don't know how I'm supposed to react," Clara ranted. "What would anyone do?"

"What did she say?" Jenny asked again, "Did she ask you to go with her? In the TARDIS?"

"No, no," Clara shook her head. She paused for a few moments. "She told me how I died. The full story. After not knowing exactly what happened for however long it's been…"

"Oh."

"You remember that funny street the Lost Cosmonaut is hidden on, in Fitzrovia?"

"Yes."

"It was there. Right around the corner, basically right outside, all that time we were living there, and I… and Ashildr, she… she was in charge of it all. I didn't even know, didn't even remember. She put a chronolock on this kid I knew, Rigsy – he had a girlfriend, they'd just had a baby, that's… seeing the baby is one of the last things I remember before I woke up on the TARDIS strapped to a chair and you told me I'd been bitten by a vampire. The Doctor said I took the chronolock from him, voluntarily. Kept it a secret. When this pet Shade came to kill Rigsy, it got me instead."

"Ashildr sent a Shade out to kill people?" asked Jenny. Clara shrugged. Jenny leant back and looked at the ceiling. "No wonder she never told us. She'll be getting a piece of my mind when I next run into her."

"It was a long time ago, Jen."

"I don't care."

"I do," said Clara firmly.

"…If she lied about that, maybe she lied about you ever sleeping with her, too."

"Why would she do that?" asked Clara, though she'd had the same thought as well.

"To stop you from digging into it."

"I think you're being cynical." Jenny didn't respond. "I'll talk to her about it. Not you. It's my death."

"What if she won't tell you?"

"No matter what she does or doesn't tell me, I'm not going to condone you pummelling her." Jenny clenched her jaw. "Violence isn't the solution."

"I think it might be this particular solution."

"If it comes to it I can always compel her to tell me the truth."

"You're rubbish at compelling anybody to do anything," Jenny pointed out. It was more Sally's talent.

"It was my own fault, anyway," Clara sighed.

"It can't have been your fault, you wouldn't… you wouldn't have chosen to leave me."

"Leave you?" Clara was astounded, "I didn't have you to leave. Believe me, I spent days – weeks – before then agonising over what to do about you, and I didn't see a future."

"What?"

"I was wrong. Obviously, I was wrong. What do you want me to say? My life was a mess, and I wish I could tell you what I was thinking – I wish I knew what I was thinking – but I can't. I don't remember. The memories never formed properly thanks to whatever weird resurrection technology got used."

"I can't believe this," said Jenny quietly, closing her eyes, "I can't believe she would come here and poison us like this."

"Nothing's poisoned, Jenny. She's gone."

"She's a coward. She could have at least come to the front door. Did she bring any of her new friends?"

"No. She didn't tell them what she was up to."

Jenny frowned, thinking hard and clearly getting upset herself, "Clara – I don't understand why you would… if she's telling the truth, then you knew you were going to die. You didn't tell me. You didn't text. I don't understand why you would make that choice, and… I know we didn't have a relationship, but – wasn't I your closest friend?"

"You still are my closest friend."

"Then why didn't – why wouldn't-" she had tears in her eyes.

"Jen, please. I don't have these answers." Clara gently touched her fingertips where they poked out of the cast on her arm.

"But you did it to yourself, Clara – you – if that's right – you chose-"

"I chose to save someone's life. Misplaced heroics."

"No," Jenny shook her head, wincing with pain from her ribs. The stress was making her injuries feel a hundred times worse. "Oswin detonated that bomb on purpose. The one that ruined her legs. She thought she would be saving more lives if she took her own. Is that what you thought?"

"I don't know," Clara repeated, "But if you think this is difficult for you to reconcile with, what about me? What if that is what happened? I'm being told that I killed myself and I don't even remember it?" Jenny didn't say anything. Clara took a deep breath. "Jenny. I'm not close to Oswin like you are, but I know she's very unwell. And if I really did that? Maybe I wasn't in my right mind, either. But whatever happened, it was a long time ago. I'm here now, with you. I've healed from all that."

"All what?"

She paused, "…Danny."

"Right."

"Whatever I chose then, from the moment I woke up in that chair through to now, I've chosen you. And I always will. So, please, try to get some rest. For me. I'll be here in the morning, and I'll be here forever." Clara stayed close and touched Jenny's fingers as they poked through her cast. She didn't move an inch until Jenny was able to back to sleep, the fire burning comfortingly all the while.

AN: This drabble is necessary context for the next Astroverse crossover, which may well be the chapter after this one – that won't really make sense without this.