AN: I thought about writing out Cohen's accent but she doesn't really work as a character without it.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT

London, December 31st, 2013

A New Year's Eve like no other – literally like no other, in Nios's case. She'd not experienced the new year since gaining consciousness, which had strangely been less than twelve months ago. Now she was going to get to experience it not only with sentience, but with things to look forward to.

She also hadn't experienced sex with sentience before. People had 'engaged' with her, certainly – that, twisted as it was, was what she'd been designed for – but not when she'd had any capacity to respond, either by consenting or objecting.

But she could consent now, and she very much had, to letting Dr Cohen show her precisely what to do when in bed with another woman. She knew what to do, in theory, but it wasn't the same. And all those people she'd slept with before had been men, anyway.

Unfortunately, she'd had a lot of anxiety building up before that evening, in which she suspected things might take a turn for the intimate on what was going to be their sixth date (she was still counting, of course). Of all the things humans could worry about, she had a different problem: batteries.

"I need you to stop," said Nios softly. Hayley Cohen had her hand between Nios's thighs, body wrapped around hers.

"What's wrong?" asked Cohen. She stopped moving her hand, but did not withdraw it.

"Could you…?" Nios began, touching her arm.

"Shite, sorry," Cohen removed her fingers fully. "What's the matter?"

"…It's a little embarrassing," said Nios.

"Ye cannae feel anything, can ye?" said Cohen, crestfallen.

"It isn't that. It's the situation, the whole thing."

"Going too fast?"

"…I'm running low on battery. Only on three per cent. That's all. The hazards of going to bed with a machine?" she tried to be funny, but she'd never been good at that.

"Are ye gunnae be okay? Do ye have tae go?"

"No, I can stay – I want to stay. I just have to get my charging cable and plug in for a while. I brought it with me."

"Jist in case ye were caught short during sex?" Cohen joked, shuffling away to give Nios some more space.

"Not necessarily, I take it everywhere – it's only sensible. But if you'd rather I went back to the TARDIS-"

"Why would I?" Cohen cut her off.

"If… it's strange, isn't it?" said Nios, "Watching me plug myself in."

"Ah dinnae mind, go get yer cable before ye collapse," she nudged Nios playfully with her foot.

Feeling very self-conscious, Nios got out of bed and ambled into the next room, no clothes on. The curtains were all open, but Cohen's flat was up in a flashy, London high-rise and the lights were switched off, so she didn't think anybody could see her. Everybody had their eyes on the incoming fireworks display, anyway, as soon as midnight rolled around.

"Can I use a socket? Is there one in here?" asked Nios when she returned, looking about the room. She really should have checked for plug sockets earlier, but that was actually the first time she'd gone into Cohen's bedroom at all.

"It's oan this side," said Cohen, moving over from the left of the bed to the right.

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you move."

"Yer no making me do anything. C'mon, come back," she entreated, grinning. She had put her glasses back on, thick, round, and owl-esque; Nios loved them. "Where's ye plug socket?"

"Here, in my hip," Nios, back in bed and having plugged it in at the wall, showed Cohen as she stuck a thin jack into a mark on her hip that, at first glance, merely looked like a large freckle.

"Now yer charging?"

"Yes."

"Weird."

"You said you didn't mind."

"I don't," she insisted, "It's still interesting, though. Do ye wantae carry on?"

"Yes, I do, absolutely I do – but not just yet," said Nios quickly, "I should wait a while."

"How long does it take fer a full charge?"

"Full charge? A few hours, six max – usually overnight, and then it lasts all day. It's a big battery. But that's for normal operation, not operation under duress."

"Duress? Ah'm putting you under duress?"

"In a good way. Anything exciting will drain it quicker. We're not exactly built for such complex emotions."

"And yet…" Cohen began. Nios could tell that she was uneasy, all of a sudden.

"What?"

"Nothing. Ah wis gunnae ask you something, but ah don't know that you'll wantae answer." But she was blushing, and that intrigued Nios enough, as she pulled the duvet over herself and moved closer in the bed. They were right next to each other, legs touching under the sheets. Heat and skin.

"You can ask me whatever you like."

"It's just… ah've been wondering for a while – ye have saliva. And other fluids. But yer a robot."

"First of all, I don't particularly like being called a robot-"

"Ah mean it in a nice way. Robots are fun."

"Right… okay. Second, though, it's because we are supposed to be as close to human as possible. And some of us were made for… or, the ability to…" She kept pausing. Cohen took her hand and squeezed it – such a human gesture, one Nios would have never thought to do.

"You don't have tae tell me."

"We're intended to be able to be used in that way. To satisfy those human desires. Sex dolls."

"Oh, right… ah shouldnae have asked."

"It's just water," she went on, "All the fluid, it comes from an internal reservoir, and depending on where it's going, silicone gel is added in different quantities to change the consistency."

"What if ye run out?" she asked.

"You've got a bottle of lubricant over there in case we-"

"No, ah dinnae mean now, jist in general."

"It's replaced through the mouth, with tubes. It sounds grisly, but we don't have gag reflexes built in. It doesn't need replenishing very often, though. Why do you ask? Does it taste strange?"

"Doesnae taste like anything, jist water. Mibbe that's strange enough on its own. Could ye git it flavoured? Like, fruit?"

"I… you know, you ask the most bizarre questions. Yes, I imagine that, in theory, it could be flavoured. Would you like me to look into it?"

Cohen laughed, "It's okay. Jist wondering. Dae ye no want me asking you things?"

"I'm not used to it. Aren't these questions you should have asked sooner, though?"

"Oh, aye, ah always ask girls the intimate details of how their vagina self-lubricates on a first date," she said, dryer than Nios had ever heard her.

"…That's sarcasm. I thought you're not meant to be all that good with sarcasm."

"Ah, only when it's other people, then ah cannae tell. But, I always know when I'm being sarcastic," she explained. "Tell us something else."

"What?"

"Can ye taste?"

"No. I did ask Oswin about that, actually, but tasting is complex – she hasn't worked out how to recreate it artificially yet."

"So, ye cannae smell, either?"

"That's right."

"Weird."

"That's the second time you've called me weird tonight."

"Weird's good. Yer being testy," said Cohen. "Ah'm plenty weird. And, okay, one more – yer breathing. I can see it happening."

"The earliest synths didn't have any fake breathing system, and people didn't like it during focus testing. It made them feel like we were dead. So, it's just a pump, fake lungs. But they do serve a purpose – other than putting people at ease."

"Which is?"

"Buoyancy. Obviously, if your synthetic you've bought on finance for a similar price to your house falls into a lake or a river somehow – possibly trying to save someone, which we're programmed to do if it happens – you don't want it to sink like a rock. That's why I can swim."

"And yer waterproof, too?"

"You said one more question," Nios reminded her. "Didn't you see a lot of this when you conducted that autopsy? When we met?"

"Seeing something and understanding it aren't the same," she said, "Ah'm not an engineer, no good with computers or technology. Unless the technology is alive and fancies me." At that, Nios kissed her, but not for very long. "Are ye ready tae-"

"No, stupid battery. Needs a bit longer," she sighed. "You can answer some of my questions, though, can't you? I might be wondering lots of intrusive things about your body."

"Fire away, ah'll tell ye all about it. Ah know the human body very well."

"How many tattoos do you have? Every time I look at you, I notice a new one," said Nios. She hadn't thought much about Cohen's tattoos before that night, only seeing the ones on her arms, but she was covered in them.

"Ooh, guess."

"I don't know. I can see at least fifteen right now. I can't see your legs, though." At that, she kicked off the sheets, quite casually. "…You don't need to seduce me, I'm already here," said Nios, staring.

"It's thirty-three," said Cohen. "And that's a regressive view oan nudity, it doesnae have tae be inherently sexual."

Nios ignored that, because she thought the fact that they had been having sex did make it inherently sexual, "Which did you get first?"

"This one," she showed Nios a tiny, round ghost on her left wrist.

"It looks a bit-"

"Shite?" she suggested.

"I was going to say simple."

"Did it myself, it's a stick and poke."

"A what?"

"Ye jist stab the ink in manually, with a needle. Used a sewing needle – lucky it didnae get infected. Ah wis only sixteen. The others were all professional."

"Isn't that painful?"

"Aye, the wee bastard was a fucker."

"Why do you get them? What's the appeal?"

"Ye dinnae like them?"

"No, I do, but I've never thought about what the point of them is."

"Ah dinno. Hard tae explain. But when ah git a new one, it's… ah'm becoming more like myself. The self I have in my head. Ah'm gitting a new one soon, for us birthday."

"It's your birthday?" asked Nios, "When? I'll have to get you something."

"No," she said, quickly, "Ah don't like it."

"But you're getting a tattoo to mark it."

"That's jist a convenient excuse. Ye have to know, ah dinnae like birthdays, don't get me a present, ever."

"What about Christmas?"

"Ah'm Jewish."

"Right. I forgot about that."

"Everybody calls me Cohen and you forgot ah'm Jewish? That's funny."

"You do ask people to call you that, Hayley," said Nios. Cohen grimaced. "When is it? Your birthday?"

"January twentieth."

"How old will you be?"

"Dunno if ah should tell you. Might make things weird."

"Two women together is already a bit weird, isn't it?"

"Ah know yer a lot younger than me."

"I'm four," said Nios.

"Jesus. I'll be twenty-nine."

"If you want to put all this on hold for the next twelve years until I'm over the age of consent, then-"

"Shut up," Cohen elbowed her. "Yer an adult. If ye like, though, ye can come along while ah get the tattoo."

"Is that allowed?"

"Sure."

"I'd love to, then," said Nios. Cohen leant her head on Nios' shoulder; she was so warm.

"Still charging?" she asked.

"Yes. Is it not uncomfortable to do that?"

"Eventually, but I wantae be close to you."

"How tall are you?"

"Five-nine."

"Practically a giant," said Nios.

Cohen smiled, "Not quite. What about you?"

"Exactly seventeen-hundred-and-fifty millimetres. Standard size for a female synthetic. Different heights would be for custom models. And that makes me think… if you have a rule, about birthdays, I want a rule, too."

"What rule?"

"Don't compliment me."

"Excuse me?"

"How I look, specifically. Not who I am. Because I was designed, by some freak, in a laboratory, and I hate that. I don't even like mirrors very much."

"Okay," said Cohen softly, "No compliments about how you look. And, ye know, we don't need to carry oan if ye dinnae want to."

"I do want to. But…" she began, "If I didn't, would that be alright?"

"Of course it would. I'm no gunnae force ye into doing something ye don't want to, that would be terrible – criminal, literally."

"Alright for us, I mean. For this. You wouldn't end it?"

"No. There's more tae life, more tae relationships, than sex."

Nios nodded, "We can keep talking about that later."

"Later?" asked Cohen.

"Yes. Because now, I do want to keep going. I'm at twenty-five per cent."

"Ye can keep the cable in, can't ye? I'll be careful."

"If it doesn't bother you."

"Never. C'mere." Cohen kissed her deeply once again, and Nios's mechanical heart swelled. Midnight struck, and the New Year fireworks erupted over London: bring on 2014.

Later on, they lay together, and Nios felt more at peace than ever before in her short life. She took in the surroundings a bit more, Cohen's bedroom, where she had pieces of dark, unpleasant artwork and a modest collection of vinyl records in a big stack. Things were dusty, but very neat and orderly otherwise, all the furniture and ornaments – one of which was a human skull – spaced carefully apart.

"Is that a real skull?" asked Nios quietly.

"No," said Cohen, not opening her eyes.

"Are you asleep?"

She smiled a little, "No, not yet."

"Your flat's very…" Nios began, but what was the right word? "Macabre."

"Ah do autopsies for a living, some of the macabre rubs off."

"That's a very spooky picture of a church, though," said Nios, looking at it; poster-sized, black and white, a gloomy, religious ruin.

"It calms me down," said Cohen, "It's quiet."

"And you've got all those tattoos of skeletons and ghosts and bats."

"Whit's yer point?"

"Are you a goth?" Nios asked outright, "I've never met a goth."

"Aye. Well, mibbe not so much these days, but when ah wis younger, much more. Used tae have way more piercings, black hair, white foundation, the works. Ye didn't notice before?"

"Who's that woman?" Nios pointed out another poster of Cohen's, also black and white, a woman with thick, black hair and pale skin looking into the camera. Cohen laughed again.

"That's Siouxsie Sioux."

"Who?"

"Siouxsie and the Banshees!" Nios was none-the-wiser. "Dinnae tell us they've forgotten about good music in the future."

"I don't know. I've never understood music."

"Well, yer lucky it's the middle of the night and ah'm a polite neighbour. In the morning, ah'm gunnae teach you all about goth rock."

"Should I be scared?"

"Very much, ye should be terrified," said Cohen, then she kissed Nios's cheek. "How are ye doing, though? Was everything… was it all okay? Ah've never been with a machine before."

Nios didn't say anything for a minute. "It's…" She paused again. "I'm not sure."

"Ah know I'm not the best at sex, but-"

"It's not you, it's me," she said. Dead silence. Then she realised. "I don't mean – not like that, I – I only… can you enjoy only one part of it?"

"How dae ye mean?"

Very slowly, Nios explained, "What if I only like to give, and not to receive?"

"Well, then yer a stone top."

"A what?"

"Lesbian slang. You'll learn it eventually, ah'm sure."

"Are you upset? Offended?"

"If yer telling the truth, and ye jist don't like it, then no. But if yer lying, and trying not to hurt my feelings because I did something wrong-"

"I'm telling the truth. I'm not sure sex is really… when it's happening, that's fine. But when it's not happening, it doesn't cross my mind at all. I don't think I desire it. Does that make sense?"

"What do you desire?" asked Cohen softly. She was only ever soft with Nios, despite appearing so hard and cold to everybody else.

"Just you. Being near you, with you."

"Mibbe yer asexual, somewhere on that spectrum?" Cohen suggested.

"What does that mean?"

"That ye experience sexual attraction to a lesser extent, mibbe not even at all. Ye could even think the whole thing is a bit gross, likesay." Nios remembered something.

"You haven't met Esther, have you? Esther Drummond?"

"Briefly. With the electric powers?"

"Yes. She's asexual, I've heard it talked about," said Nios, "But she doesn't want a relationship or anything like that, either."

"Well, it's like ah said, it's a spectrum. Ye can do some googling when ye get a chance."

"But wouldn't that bother you? If I don't want sex often?" said Nios.

"Didn't I just say earlier, there's more tae relationships than sex?" Cohen countered her.

"You did…"

"That's what ah believe. Ah dinnae put myself through the rigmarole of getting a new girlfriend just for sex."

"Rigmarole? I've never heard anyone use that word before. And isn't that the reason most people do it?"

"Ah dunno anything about 'most people.'"

"And you didn't go through any 'rigmarole'," said Nios, "I did. You wouldn't have asked me out, would you?"

"Mm, no. Ye come across as extremely heterosexual. Ah wouldnae have risked the rejection."

"You think I'm straight?"

"Well, not now ye've just shagged another woman. But, aye, ye have a straight vibe."

"I think you know more about me than I do."

"How long have ye been awake for?" she grew more serious.

"Less than a year."

"Takes a long time tae work it all out. Took me fourteen years tae actually accept being gay, so, ye've got a head start there. And ye read a lot of books."

"Maybe. I'm a bit self-conscious about it, in all honesty. How can you know enough about me to know that you like me when I don't even know anything about myself?" said Nios.

"Ye read too much philosophy. Ah like you, it's that simple. Tell me, though, are ye staying the night?"

"It's already almost two o'clock in the morning," said Nios, "But if you want me to leave-"

"No, ah don't want ye tae leave, that's why I asked," said Cohen, "Ah didnae know if it would be boring, though, since ah'm sleeping." Nios laughed. "What's funny?"

"The Doctor and Jenny both only sleep once a week, and they still spend all their nights in the same room as their significant others. And Adam and Oswin, she used to be up all night, too, until she reprogrammed her brain to simulate sleep," Nios explained, "It's funny how it keeps happening like that. But, as I said, I have a hibernation mode. It's a lot like sleeping, I imagine. Except that I won't be crabby if I don't hibernate for long enough."

"If yer sure. Because, ye don't have tae stay if ye don't want to."

"I want to stay," Nios said firmly. "Maybe we can do something tomorrow. You have the day off, don't you?"

"Aye. We could take yer wee time machine to go see Siouxsie Sioux back in the eighties."

"Are you joking? Because we can do that, I'm sure the Doctor would be fine with it," said Nios.

"Maybe another time, when ah've mentally prepared enough for all the loud noise."

"We can do whatever you like. I'm relying on you to come up with ideas, I haven't got any."

"Well, we're in London. Let's do some tourist shite."

"Really?"

"Ah haven't done any of it since moving down here, didnae want tae do it on my own."

"Won't everything be shut on New Year's Day?"

"Shit, maybe…"

"What do you usually do on your days off?"

"Watch people get their earwax removed. That's great. Grosser the better. But ye dinnae have earwax, ah bet."

"You're right, I don't."

"We could go on a walk? Go tae Hyde Park. It's supposed to be nice, Londoners rave about it."

"Do they?" asked Nios, who knew a fair number of Londoners now, and hadn't heard any of them mention Hyde Park. Cohen didn't answer her. "A park would be nice. Nature, you know. It'll be cold, though, for you."

"Ah've git a big coat, dinnae worry," Cohen assured her. "Or we could jist stay in. Listen tae music. Watch films."

"I've never seen a film all the way through," said Nios.

"What?" Cohen sat up in bed next to her, staring.

"I've never seen one properly," she said, "Only when other people have had them on and I've been going between rooms."

"That settles it, then, we can spend the day watching films. All my favourites. Well, not my favourite favourite."

"Why not? What's your favourite?"

"Silence of the Lambs, which isnae a good date movie. We can watch something fun, about lesbians. Ah dinno what yet. Unless ye don't want tae."

"I'll gladly watch films. Maybe I'll see what all the fuss is about, and why people like them so much."

"It'll be a good day. Yer no gonnae disappear, are you?"

"Disappear how?" asked Nios softly, holding Cohen in her arms; maybe she was a natural big spoon.

"Be gone, in the morning. People do that sometimes, after sex. Jist up and vanish."

"I promise you, I won't disappear. I like you far too much for that."

"Yer a daydream, Nios," she said quietly, through a yawn.

"But it's nighttime, so wouldn't I be more like a regular dream?" said Nios, trying again for a joke. Cohen laughed ever so slightly, eyes shut, sinking away from Nios as the seconds drew on. "I had a lot of fun tonight," Nios whispered.

"Mm. Me too. Ah'll see you in the morning." Nios stopped disturbing her, even though she thought they could talk forever and still not get bored. Soon enough, Dr Cohen had drifted off completely, and Nios couldn't wait for an entire day of goth rock and strange films with her new, favourite person in the world.