Rewritten June 2024

993: Another Girl Another Planet XVII

Ravenwood

"You know, we don't have to do this if you don't want to," said Clara Ravenwood, at Jenny's heels as she walked through Hollowmire in the early evening. "If you want to stay in so it's just the two of us-"

"I promised them I'd cook, didn't I? And I need Esther's help to chop the vegetables," said Jenny.

"But-"

"Clara," Jenny stopped in the middle of the empty street. "I'll feel better once I've had a good meal. I'm tired of doing the bare minimum, and I'm tired of takeaways. Just get ready with your excuses if I'm not very talkative."

"…Okay," Clara gave up. "For the record, I doubt Sally and Esther are expecting you to talk their ears off. They've met you enough times." Jenny smiled, just barely, and kept walking.

"It bothers you a bit, doesn't it?" said Jenny.

"What?"

"That I'm quiet."

"It doesn't bother me, I just don't always know if it means that you want me to be quiet, too, and then I'm rambling on and on just to fill the silence but I'm actually getting on your nerves and you're too nice to tell me," said Clara.

"I'm not too nice to tell you," said Jenny. "But I don't mind. You can talk, and I'll listen. I'll always listen."

That brought them to the mustard yellow door of number sixteen, Lunar Terrace. Jenny knocked with her good hand since Clara was preoccupied with carrying a bag of ingredients Jenny had procured.

"Door's unlocked!" Sally Sparrow shouted from inside.

"You need to invite me!" Clara shouted back. Jenny stepped up and opened the door, though Clara was still stuck on the doorstep.

"What will happen if you try to go inside without being invited?" said Jenny, Sally appearing behind her to deal with the commotion.

"I imagine the same thing that happens when I break any other vampire rule," said Clara. "Spontaneous combustion."

"You can come in," said Sally, freeing Clara and letting her climb the three steps to the front door and cross the threshold with the food. Jenny took the bag from her and made a beeline for the kitchen, hardly bothering to say hello. Clara gave Sally an uneasy smile, which was returned just as uneasily.

"Where's Esther?" said Jenny. "I need her hands."

"She's upstairs, I'll just, erm…" Hearing footsteps, Sally stopped talking. Esther appeared on the landing looking unwell; she was pale and more unkempt than Clara had seen her before. Sally stepped out of her way completely, back into the living room, and Esther went into the kitchen without saying hello.

"Has something happened?" asked Clara, lowering her voice.

"Yes. Jenny's thumb is broken again, I see?" said Sally.

"When wasn't it?" Clara frowned.

"I think there's been some time travel confusion," said Sally. "We saw her with her thumb in the supermarket, and the next time we saw her, there was no broken thumb at all. The night Other You had the run-in with that serial killer?"

"…Oh. Yes, that does sound like time travel… I think she's alright now – although, Jenny hasn't been there to see," said Clara. "Maybe we're resynchronized."

"I hope so," said Sally.

"Is that what she's upset about?" said Clara.

"Yeah."

"Do you want us to go? We can come another night," she said.

"No, I think it's okay," said Sally with a sigh. "What's Jenny cooking?"

"Veggie curry, or something. It doesn't go in when she talks about food. But she was banging on about mushrooms, so I assume it has those in it," said Clara.

"Sure… Sounds nice. Do you want a drink? I've still got a lot of that Calvet," she said. Clara couldn't refuse another glass of Sally's vintage cognac.

Soon enough, Jenny was busy telling Esther what to do in the kitchen – which seemed to suit Esther just fine since she wasn't being asked to contribute verbally – and Sally had brought some glasses and the bottle into the living room to join Clara, pouring some out.

"You know, you always offer booze, but never any of your weed," said Clara.

"I've got brownies in the cupboard?" she suggested.

"Oh, I was kidding. Mostly."

"Right."

"Do you really have brownies?"

"Yes, but I'd prefer not to share them, to be honest," she said, taking a sip from her glass and leaning back in the armchair.

Clara hadn't spent time with only Sally Sparrow before. She began to feel like Jenny's plan to disappear with Esther into the kitchen was only going to facilitate a vampire attack – or maybe it wasn't bloodlust at all. Maybe Clara just really fancied her.

"Are you sure you want us here tonight?" said Clara. Sally forced a smile.

"Yes. I'm looking forward to this curry now."

"But is something else going on? Other than this serial killer thing that appears to be largely resolved," said Clara. Sally deliberated for a few moments and took another swig of cognac, then turned to Clara and spoke rather seriously.

"Could I talk to you about something?"

"What kind of something?" said Clara.

"You've… I'm awfully sorry if I'm being presumptuous, but you've… You've slept with a lot of people, haven't you? I get that vibe," she said. Clara raised her eyebrows.

"I think that's relative."

"Well, I've slept with three people, so relative to that."

"Then, yes. Why? Do you want sex tips?" said Clara.

"Not tips, I… Have you ever been with someone with HIV?" she asked, taking Clara by complete surprise.

"Yes, twice," said Clara. "I mean, not twice. Two people. It was more than two times all in all. But why do you want to know? A bout of hypochondria?"

"I've met someone, maybe," she said. "A man."

"Slightly disappointing, but go on," said Clara. Sally rolled her eyes.

"Jenny's met him, actually," said Sally. "That night with the serial killer. He was a police officer, now he works for Undercoll-"

"What's that?"

"New Torchwood, basically." Clara nodded; Sally went on. "To cut a long story short, we like each other, and I may have kissed him, and then he told me he's HIV positive. He's bi."

"That's a green flag, then," said Clara. "That he told you upfront like that, I mean. I've caught chlamydia four times, and two of those times the bastards knew about it and just didn't bother to say anything. HIV is a lot more serious than chlamydia, though. But what's your question? Is it safe?"

"I suppose."

"You'd have to ask him," said Clara. "But if his viral load is undetectable, it's basically impossible for you to catch it, even without a condom. With a condom, and you're fine. There really isn't risk involved at all if all the rules are followed. If it's bothering you, though…"

"What?"

"I don't know this bloke, but he deserves to be with someone who can see past the stigma," said Clara.

"That's not… I'm not prejudiced, it's just not a situation I've had to think about or deal with personally before," said Sally, drinking again. Clara took a beat to think about this; it was easy enough for her, who'd been enmeshed in queer culture for her entire adult life, but Sally was very much an outsider.

"Well, look," said Clara. "There are a lot of steps you can take to eliminate the risk of transmission – which it sounds like he's doing already. You could always go to a doctor and see about a prescription for PrEP. I don't know how likely they are to give it to you if you're not actually shagging him yet, though. But if you do sleep with him, and it worries you, there's PEP, too, to take afterwards. You have to stay on it for a few weeks, though; I've been on it before after one of the aforementioned encounters." Sally didn't say anything. Obviously, it had been playing on her mind for a while. Clara could hear Jenny talking Esther through everything she was doing with the spices she'd brought.

"He said it's undetectable," she said.

"Undetectable is untransmissible," said Clara. "It's the first thing they tell people when they get diagnosed. Honestly, use a condom, and you'll be fine. You have a much higher chance of getting pregnant."

"I'm not looking to get pregnant either, thanks," she said. "And I have the implant, anyway. I think it's still got a few months left in it."

"The risk is so low if it's undetectable that they might not want to give you PrEP even if you do go to the clinic," said Clara. "You'll be fine. And it's a good sign that he told you. He doesn't actually need to tell you if it's undetectable."

"Really?"

"Yes," said Clara. Sally sighed and slouched in the chair, thinking. Clara looked to the TV to see what was on: Grand Designs. "I've seen this one. He's building an underground house in a graveyard. I thought it was horrible before, but… Maybe there's something peaceful about it, being surrounded by the dead like that."

"And they call me 'spooky'," said Sally. "Thanks for talking to me, anyway."

"I'm always happy to talk about sex," said Clara. "What's he look like, anyway? Do you have any pictures?"

"No," said Sally. Clara rolled her eyes and got up.

"Useless. Jenny!" she called through. Jenny didn't answer, but she did soon come into the living room, leaving Esther with the vegetables.

"Did you meet this bloke Sally fancies?" she asks. Jenny frowned.

"You did meet him," said Sally, going red. "From Undercoll. New Torchwood. With Liam Kent."

"Oh, him. With the beard?" said Jenny.

"Yes."

"A beard?" said Clara. "Fascinating." Sally glared at her.

"I didn't realise that you fancied him," said Jenny.

"I want to know if he's hot," said Clara before Sally could reply. "What did you think?"

"I wasn't paying him any notice," said Jenny.

"Maybe not that hot, then, if she didn't even notice," Clara said to Sally.

"Don't be a wanker," said Sally. Having proven utterly useless, Jenny excused herself and left them alone again. "I like him."

"Then, that's all that really matters, isn't it?"

Sally went quiet and Clara continued watching TV, unsurprised that the graveyard house was being met with so much suspicion. But the food was going to be a while yet. As the credits rolled on Kevin McCloud, Sally started talking again.

"The other thing is that it's been a while," she said quietly.

"Really? How long?" asked Clara.

"Two years."

"Weren't you about to get married a few months ago? Why were you marrying him if you'd already stopped wanting to shag him?" said Clara.

"How do you know it wasn't him not wanting to shag me?" she said.

"Because I've seen you. But if you want to get some practice in before you see this guy again-"

"I'm not gonna have sex with you, Clara."

"Why not? What's wrong with me?"

"You're a woman."

"How dare you."

"And you're too short." Clara shut up. "And I don't want Jenny to kill me, which she definitely would."

"Don't be ridiculous, she can join in."

"I don't even want to sleep with one woman, let alone two."

"We'll see," said Clara. "I'm patient."

"You'll be waiting until you're dead."

"I'm already dead."

"Then, you'll be waiting until I'm dead."

"You mean like a GILF? I'm not opposed."

"What's a…?" Sally began, and then she stopped and shook her head. "You're repulsive."

"I'm not repulsive! You're ageist."

"I don't know why I'm surprised when Jenny's about five hundred years old."

"She's only two hundred, actually," said Clara. "Two hundred and eight."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Sally. "I had no idea she was so young and sprightly."

"She's a lot more sprightly than you."

"It's a good thing you're sleeping with her and not me, then, isn't it?"

"Mm… Fine, alright. You win this time."

"Win what? The prize of you not sexually harassing me for an indeterminate amount of time?"

"Precisely."

"I did actually want genuine advice about the fact it's been two years, and that even in the four years before that, I was only with one person," said Sally. "But, fine, if all you want to do is bother me."

"…Sorry," said Clara. "I'm just very attracted to you."

"You have a girlfriend! What if I say yes? You're going to cheat on her?" said Sally.

Jenny reappeared in the doorway, holding a knife with little chunks of mushroom stuck to it. Sally shrank in her chair.

"Don't touch her," said Jenny.

"I'm not planning on it." Jenny nodded and then backed out of the room, knife in hand. "Why does she have a go at me and not you?"

"She's in love with me, she'll forgive me for anything," said Clara. "She forgave me for dying and turning into a vampire, after all." Sally stared at her. "Oh, advice. Right, well… I've never really gone as long as two years."

"What is the longest you've gone?"

"Nine months, but it was different."

"Why was it different?"

"Well, I slept with Jenny, but it was a one-off. And then I couldn't stop thinking about her, but I felt bad about calling her… It's just, erm… I had this boyfriend. He died. So, it was hard to go into something new," said Clara.

"I'm sorry to hear about that," said Sally.

"My advice is going to be the same as it always is though, which is to be honest with him. He probably won't even care that it's been so long, I wouldn't care," said Clara. "When are you next seeing him?"

"I'm not, we haven't arranged anything. He lives in London, and I'm up here. God, I really do like him, though. I didn't feel this way about Larry. Larry was just there, and it felt obvious," she said.

"Jenny can always give you a lift," said Clara. "She's got a spaceship now, her own – not the TARDIS. Takes about half a second to get to London."

"Won't she mind? None of us are really friends," said Sally.

"We can be friends! We're having a group dinner, aren't we?" said Clara. "I'll go talk to her right now."

"What? No, don't-" But Clara was already leaving, largely because there was nothing else on TV and she'd finished her drink. The food was nearly done, with Esther stirring and Jenny leaning on the counters to supervise.

"It's not ready yet," said Jenny.

"Would you give Sally a lift into London? And back?"

"When?"

"Hypothetically," said Clara.

"I suppose," she shrugged. "What for?"

"Sex date," said Clara.

"If I was going to go and see him, it would be a real date, not a bloody – whatever you called it," said Sally when she came into the room. "I regret trying to talk to you now, I really do."

"How can you say that? I've given you the best advice I have," said Clara.

"You just told me to talk to him! That's the same thing that Esther said."

"Esther's right, then," said Clara. Esther smiled. Sally rolled her eyes again.

"Why do you ask these two for advice and not me?" asked Jenny.

"I'm scared of you," said Sally.

"Good. I will give you a lift, though, if you need it. And, also, these two are right; you should just talk to him."

"Christ, the choice was never if I should talk to him or not," said Sally. "It was me wanting to discuss how I don't know if it's a good thing to jump into something new after getting out of a six-year relationship."

"If it feels right when you're with him, that's it," said Jenny. "Time is arbitrary. Don't overthink it."

"Well… Thank you."

"Should've come to me first," said Jenny. "But if you want any condoms, Clara's got a stash."

"Stash?" said Sally when Clara scoffed.

"It's not a stash, and I'd have to check the expiry date on them," said Clara. "But, yes, you're welcome to some free condoms if they're functional; I'm not gonna use them anymore."

"I'm sure he's capable of buying his own condoms," Sally mumbled, going to sit down at the table and pouring herself another measure of cognac.

"I'm just in the habit of not relying on men for prophylactics," said Clara. "I'll let you know, how's that?"

"Fine. And will somebody tell me what's in this curry so that I don't have to talk about contraception anymore?" said Sally.

"You're the one who brought it up!" said Clara.

"And I'm deeply regretting that."

"It's a masala," said Jenny. "Very simple, practically only three ingredients; mushroom, tomato, and onion…"

By the time Jenny had finished explaining exactly what she was cooking, which didn't sound 'very simple' at all to Clara when she started talking about purees, sautés, and gravies, it was ready. As always, Jenny's cooking was delicious, but Sally and Esther had never had it before.

"This is amazing," said Sally. "Normally, I'm not a big fan of mushrooms."

"It's all about the way you cook them and knowing how to change the texture," said Jenny. "You can have the recipe if you like. I'd just have to write it down."

"Why do you know how to cook?" Sally asked. "Is it the kind of thing they teach you in outer space?"

"Didn't you learn to cook in New Orleans?" said Clara.

"Oh, no, not exactly," said Jenny. "I learnt a little, but I trained properly in Venice for a few years and worked as a sous chef, in the future. What about you? Do you cook?" She was speaking to Sally.

"Only sometimes," said Sally. "Esther does, though." Esther just nodded, eating. "She made a casserole the other day and actually let me have some of it; it was very nice." Esther smiled.

"This is all quite good, really, isn't it?" said Clara, chewing. "Four adults, having dinner, being friends. Not shouting at each other or spreading rumours or watching people die horribly." Like on the TARDIS. "We should do this more often."

"I certainly won't say no to more meals like this," said Sally. She looked at Esther, who shrugged. "Sounds good, I think."

"As long as I have an extra pair of hands to use, it's fine," said Jenny.

"Great!" Clara beamed. "Sounds like a plan!"

"It's good, isn't it?" said Clara, unlocking the front door of the cottage. "Having friends. Even if one of them's decided she doesn't want to speak at the moment."

"She did kill Other You, I think she has a right to be a bit quiet," said Jenny.

"I know, I'm just… A group of friends. Even if it's only four of us and you don't really count. I don't think I've had a group of friends since uni."

"It's because you sleep with all your friends and then they don't want to be friends with you anymore, that's the issue," said Jenny, kicking off her shoes. Clara had almost given up telling her to put them neatly on the shoe rack – almost. Jenny rolled her eyes and pushed them together with her feet so that they looked marginally better.

"I'm not gonna sleep with those two, though, am I?"

"Only because they won't let you."

"Well… Alright, maybe. But still, it… Come over here." Clara pulled her in and gave her a tight hug. "I thought it would be awful moving here and leaving everything behind, but it hasn't been. Not completely awful, anyway."

"I'm glad," Jenny squeezed her.

"How are you, anyway?" Clara released her from the hug but kept her hands on Jenny's waist. With her left hand, Jenny brushed some of Clara's hair behind her ear.

"I'm good. Do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because nobody asked me how I am for about three hours."

"…Sorry," said Clara, fixated on her eyes and her smell.

"I feel like you don't trust me to tell you when I'm upset."

"I…" She paused. Jenny was right.

"It's alright," Jenny whispered, leaning towards her. "Just something to note for the future." Jenny kissed her and she gave in completely – for about five minutes until she remembered something she'd been meaning to bring up.

"Is there still some of that cake in the fridge?" she said, Jenny immediately moving on to kissing her neck.

"Clara," she breathed. "Do you want cake, or do you want to have sex with me?"

"No, well, when you put it that way I, er, suppose the cake can… cake can wait…"

Jenny kissed her again and she let out an involuntary moan. "That's what I thought."