Chapter 55

Whatever happens

The next morning, the crew was gathered around the breakfast table enjoying a batch of still-warm rolls that the blond had placed among an assortment of savory or sweet side dishes according to taste.

"This bread is truly delicious!" Brook got enthused, adding jam to his third piece.

"It's so yummy!" Luffy approved voraciously, piling the sausages as well as chocolate and honey on about twenty of them.

"Simply divine." Usopp gorged himself when he bit into his toast that he had covered in salted butter.

"Is this a new recipe, Sanji-kun?" The navigator asked, observing her slice of bread. "The taste seems different from the breads you usually serve us."

"It is, Nami-san! I used a new combination of flours!" The blond replied, beaming.

"Flours from the island?" Jinbei asked, his own toast in hand.

"I bought them at the market and I varied the proportions compared to what I usually make," the cook confirmed with another smile as he gave a plate of omelet to the surgeon of death.

"It's a real success," Robin said while delicately taking a sip of coffee.

"Oh, thank you, Robin-chan!"

"Do you think you can make them every morning?" Chopper asked hopefully. "I can't stop eating," he then sighed while spreading a mountain of chocolate paste on his bread.

"Probably, but I wouldn't want you to get tired of it," his crewmate pointed out, amused.

"It's super crispy and super soft at the same time!" Franky rejoiced, cracking the bread under his fingers.

"I can make some more for lunch, don't worry," the cook decided when he noticed that even Zoro had helped himself to some more to garnish his slice with ham.

Delighted, Sanji headed to the worktop and grabbed his last batch to offer it to his friends. Before it even reached them though, Luffy's elastic hands had closed on half of the rolls. In the process, the straw hat boy grabbed his fork to plant it in the plate of sausages while bringing closer that of ham and salami placed on the swordsman's side. Licking his lips in anticipation, he was surprised when his cutlery hit the empty plate of sausages. He looked up and fell on the captain of the Hearts who silently ate the last one while finishing his omelet.

"Torao! My sausage!"

The man raised his head to stare at him. "What do you mean?"

"You took the last sausage! It was mine!"

Law looked down at his plate then at the empty dish before looking again at the angry face of the other captain. "You've already eaten dozens of them," he pointed out, his eyebrows furrowed. "And you chose to take the rolls," he added, pointing to the pile on his plate.

"I wanted to eat them with my sausage to make a hot dog! Sanji said there's no more left!"

As fast as lightning, Luffy's chocolate-dripping fork tried to steal the remaining piece of sausage from the surgeon's plate but the man blocked his path with his own knife, annoyed. "There's plenty of other food left and I don't eat bread so don't come near my plate with your dirty cutlery, Straw Hat-ya. It's disgusting."

With that, he swallowed the rest of his sausage, glaring at him, and Luffy glared back, outraged. Across the table, Usopp grimaced and Nami sighed. For her part, Robin chuckled while the others continued to eat serenely, happy that their captain's attention wasn't on their own plate.

"You're gonna pay for this, Torao!"

The straw hat boy suddenly jumped out of his chair, armed with three loaves of bread in each hand, and the surgeon instantly stiffened in front of him. Law made a room to protect himself and he was about to deflect a volley of bread in his direction when the cook's foot landed on his captain's head.

"I know you'll end up eating it all but don't play with food, moron."

The breads rained down on the table and Law wrinkled his nose, disgusted, while Luffy massaged his head and stuck his tongue out at him. As the calm returned, the cook began to clear the table and his friends had almost finished emptying their plates when Chopper spoke again.

"Sanji, I think this is a good time to tell you. The antidote is ready." The blond was grabbing the empty basket, leaning over the straw hat boy's chair, and at these words, it slipped from his hands. He then turned to the little reindeer, in shock. "R-Really?"

Chopper nodded. "Franky finished it a few days ago. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away, I had my reasons."

Puzzled, the blond glanced at the cyborg who raised his thumb in his direction to confirm the little reindeer's words. Sanji then looked back at him. "Why?" He asked, sincerely surprised.

"I decided to wait until you felt as best as possible because despite all our efforts, we can't promise you that it'll work."

The cook processed the shock. This possibility had always been in the back of his mind since the first day and he himself had imagined it many times. Yet hearing it from his friend's mouth when the antidote had finally become reality made it all the more plausible. His hand tightened on the back of his captain's chair and he took a deep breath.

"I know you did your best. It'll be enough."

"It does not mean that it'll be a failure either," Nami couldn't help but chime in.

"Franky and Chopper are the best; it's bound to work!" The sniper added enthusiastically before seeing the little reindeer glaring at him, "I mean, we have a reasonable chance…" The gunner then shrank back into his chair, uncomfortable, and Chopper spoke again. "Don't get me wrong, Sanji, the chances that this treatment will work are not zero, far from it. But I can't guarantee it and I want you to be aware of that."

"I get it," the blond murmured, "I-I'm not gonna get my hopes up too high. We'll see."

"You've made huge progress in cooking despite the absence of your sense of smell and taste," Jinbei pointed out, "That's a victory in itself."

"And you've already won the hearts of the inhabitants with your dishes," Robin added.

"No matter what happens, our support will always remain yours," Brook reminded him.

Their crewmate nodded, still dazed. "Thank you, I just need to… get some air."

Sanji stepped through the doorway to reach the outside and his friends exchanged a pained look. Zoro stared at the little reindeer.

"What are his chances?"

"I don't know." Chopper whispered, "Maybe a fifty-fifty chance."

His friends shuddered and Law leaned over the table to grab the coffee pot to pour himself another cup. "Either way, if he recovers his sense of smell and taste, your cook won't be out of trouble."

The entire crew turned to him at these words, their eyes wide. "What do you mean?" Usopp asked worriedly.

"The main problem with Blackleg-ya is his mental health," the surgeon replied calmly. "If he recovers his senses, the balance he is currently experiencing will be disrupted again."

"It's gotta be a good thing for him," Franky protested, "He's a cook!"

"Indeed, but it is still another psychic reorganization."

When the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates frowned, Chopper stepped in. "Law's right. Sanji is doing better because he's able to get around his disability now, but it is his vision of himself that has been suffering from the beginning. Being a cook is a large part of his identity and if he recovers all his faculties, he must not invest all his value in it again as if he had nothing else. In the same way, we cannot let him collapse if it turns out that he will never be able to recover his senses."

"Even for someone who wouldn't suffer this crisis, the stakes would be high," Jinbei noted.

The little reindeer nodded and Zoro glanced towards the door where the blond had disappeared. In the end, Luffy stuffed the last roll into his mouth. "Sanji's strong; he'll be fine."

Zoro walked through the galley door shortly before lunch. After their ship's doctor's speech, the crew had silently gone about their business. The shuttle wouldn't be in sight for another day or two, so the blond had plenty of time to start his treatment, hence Chopper's announcement. Yet Sanji hadn't moved from his lair all morning, and the swordsman had finished his meditation before deciding to get him out of his ivory tower. Sanji had had plenty of time to digest the news, so the fact that he hadn't shown up could only mean one thing: the cook was hesitant to take the plunge.

As he closed the door behind him, the blond was stirring something in a pot and had his back to him. Zoro took the time to think about his next words. The day before, they had parted ways out of breath and gazing into each other's eyes when Sanji had realized that he had left all his things in town. The cook had once again rushed off to the market and the swordsman had had time to come to his senses. When they had met again for dinner, they had not exchanged a word and then cautiously retired for the night.

Zoro was aware of the huge change they had initiated and Sanji had to navigate with all this new data now. The swordsman was determined not to let the silence drag on though. Silence had cost them much more than their relationship last time and he was now decided to face their feelings without looking away.

"I've been having a weird feeling when I cook lately. I feel like I can distinguish the quality of food when I can't smell or taste it and sight isn't enough to spot such things. That's what happened this morning with the rolls. I used a flour I don't even know and it makes no sense."

Zoro stared at his companion's back, surprised. This wasn't the conversation he was expecting and when Sanji put his spoon on the pot to face him, he frowned. This apparently good news didn't seem to please the blond.

"I thought the bacteria was spreading, that it was messing up something in my brain or… somewhere else. But Chopper did some tests and there was nothing conclusive. There's no sign of evolution in my body so he thinks my other senses are compensating by picking up signs that I didn't perceive before."

Zoro shook himself, finally regaining the ability to speak. "What about you? What do you think?"

Sanji shrugged softly, his gaze shifting. "It's possible. But it may also be an unconscious desire. I wanna cook like before so much that maybe I think I can do it when this impression only exists in my head. Maybe… I convince myself that I know what I'm doing so as not to collapse internally. It wouldn't be the first time…"

Sanji suddenly ran a nervous hand through his hair and Zoro saw him pull on his locks without realizing it. "Are you afraid that this ability will go away if you take this treatment?"

"I don't know." The blond breathed between his fingers, helpless. "I don't even know if it really exists…" Zoro approached to slide his hand into the blond's hair and grab his hand in order to make him let go. "Do you wanna do it, cook? Do you wanna take the antidote?"

Sanji sighed heavily, keeping the swordsman's hand wrapped around his own to help him think. "Yeah, I'm just… a little afraid of the consequences," he admitted after a moment. "If I put this weird feeling aside, it's mainly because I'm just starting to get my head above water. I don't want to lose sight of my goal when I'm finally feeling better…"

"Whether your sense of taste and smell comes back or not, some things won't change." The blond looked up at the swordsman and Zoro squeezed his hand in his own to emphasize his words. "The crew will be there. I will be there."

The cook swallowed before placing his other hand near the swordsman's jaw in a trembling gesture. In doing so, his thumb grazed his lips and Zoro pressed a kiss to them. Sanji couldn't help but shudder. "I know."

Zoro leaned towards his lips and the blond closed his eyes. Their breaths mingled softly and the swordsman felt his companion relax against him. He was about to deepen their kiss when behind them, someone cleared their throat.

"I just came to get something to drink. I still have to hydrate myself very regularly."

Sanji immediately straightened up to stare at the newcomer, his cheeks red. "Yes, yes. Wait a minute…" He took a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to the surgeon of death who took it before walking away.

As soon as the door closed, the blond turned back to the swordsman, a nervous chuckle escaping him. "I don't know if you wanted to keep it a secret but-

"I didn't care what anyone thought before, I haven't changed my mind," he cut him short calmly.

The cook nodded. "I-I don't mind either, it's just… With everything that happened yesterday and what Chopper said, I'm having trouble knowing where I stand," he admitted, biting his lip.

"Take your time, cook, I'm not going anywhere. Not this time."

At these words, the blond looked up to plunge into the swordsman's eyes, his throat tight. "I'm the one who left, Zoro," he reminded him in a breath.

"And I took the opportunity to close my eyes. I didn't do anything to hold you back or to try to understand. I won't make that mistake again."

Sanji suddenly felt his heart swell with emotion and beat a little too quickly in his chest. He took the last few steps to join his crewmate and looked him straight in the eyes. "I have no intention of backing down from now on, Zoro. Never again."

This time, he was the one to close the last few inches between them.

"The treatment will be diffused through the Raid Suit's mask. That's how the air was filtered, so it's the best way to reproduce its effects."

"That's also why Chopper wanted to wait," Sanji understood.

Franky nodded while spraying his solution on the fabric. A few moments later, he handed it to the cook. "We'll check regularly to make sure the bacteria disappear. I guess you won't need to wear it for more than a few hours."

Sanji stared at the mask in the shipwright's hands for a second before slowly grabbing it. He had walked through the door of his workshop late in the afternoon.

After taking the time at lunch to weigh his decision again, the blond had found Chopper to share his fears with him. The little reindeer had listened and approved each of them, which had surprised his friend at first. The doctor had then explained the different issues Sanji was going to be subjected to and to what extent this stress would increase his still vulnerable state.

Sanji had appreciated his honesty but hadn't wanted any more time to think about it. Postponing the deadline would only make him more anxious because he knew he would end up taking the treatment. He couldn't miss his chance to recover his senses. For the rest, he had decided to trust his friends. Whatever the consequences, he would learn to live with them thanks to his crew.

"Thanks, Franky."

"Don't worry about that. And between you and me, I'd rather you thanked me when you have recovered your sense of taste and smell." Sanji was still staring at the mask that was now resting in his hand and the cyborg sighed. "Sorry, bro, I couldn't come up with another system to diffuse the antidote…"

"No, that's not it. Sure, the Raid Suit reminds me of the Vinsmokes, but it's not really them that I think of when I put it on. Actually, this suit has always aroused my guilt even more."

"Your guilt?"

The cook sighed. "Believe me, I wanna recover my senses more than anything in the world, but I also don't know how to… stop thinking that in one way or another, I deserved what's happening to me."

"Why would you think that, bro?" Franky wondered.

"I don't really know… There was Zeff who saved me and lost his leg, Luffy who came to get me and I pushed him away. Zoro who…" Sanji shook his head. "Despite the decisions I made, I can't help but think that I'm simply paying the consequences of my choices, you know?"

Franky leaned against the desk next to him, his eyebrows furrowed. "Then the punishment has lasted long enough, don't you think?"

"Who knows?" The blond murmured sadly as he contemplated the Raid Suit piece, "Who knows how much longer I'll have to feel this guilt before I realize I've had enough…"

The cyborg shook his head. "Remember when Luffy asked me to come and I didn't want to leave Water Seven? I said that Zambai and the others couldn't do without me."

The blond looked questioningly at him and Franky crossed his arms over his huge chest.

"Iceburg pointed out that it was my way of punishing myself for what happened to Tom-san. That I was protecting the city like he did. He was right. Guilt was deeply rooted in me while I pretended to do what I wanted."

"But you came anyway," the cook pointed out.

"Yeah. Because I remembered something really important at that moment. The only time Tom-san hit me was when I wanted to stop building ships because I felt like they were responsible for what happened to him. Even though it was the thing I loved most in the world. Tom-san reminded me that it wasn't the ship's fault or even their creator's fault. It was the fault of those who had used them. And that changed everything."

"How so?"

"At that moment, I sincerely wanted to move on. I knew that no one else but me could have allowed me to live fully again," the cyborg explained.

"What made you realize it?" The blond wanted to know, his eyes wide.

Franky shrugged. "Nothing. Iceburg made me face reality but honestly, I already knew it. I simply decided that it was time. I could have let the Sunny sail away and lived quietly at the head of the Franky Family. But I could never have been as happy as I am today."

A minute of silence passed during which Sanji pondered his words before running a hand over his face, his throat suddenly tight. "I already… Nami-san already pointed out that I wouldn't move forward if I didn't forgive myself," he finally breathed.

"You took a step in the right direction by agreeing to leave your restaurant and then lean on Luffy in front of Big Mom," the shipwright reminded him. "It's just that you haven't decided if you deserve it yet."

"You're right, but I don't know what's still holding me back…"

Finally, Franky got up to put the rest of the treatment in his small fridge. "Torao said you were still in the middle of a psychic reorganization or something. You've made a lot of progress so it is normal that everything isn't in order in your head yet."

"I caused these changes." The cook sighed, "I made some decisions and it seems to be working. Only, I can't continue to improve if I don't figure out what's wrong…"

"Give yourself time, bro. When the opportunity presents itself, you'll recognize it."

More mystery and suspense for our favorite cook…

I wanted to give a special place to Franky in this story because I like him a lot and he's often underexploited in my opinion.

Next chapter will be about Law!