You grimace as the familar ache began in the depths of your abdomen. What started as a dull but persistent ache, very quickly turned into you feeling like you were being stabbed repeatedly with a sharp knife. You bite your lip hard so that you dont cry out and try to immerse yourself in the latest case that had only just come in. You begin to squirm uncomfortably, trying desperately to find a comfortable position that would ease some of the pain. You had started your period that morning, waking up to your stomach cramping and blood on your bedsheets because you were early and hadn't been prepared for it. They had always been irregular, ever since you had started them at the age of 11 and they'd been hell since the start. You'd had an awful relationship with your Mom and she'd never explained to you about periods or growing up. That had been left to your Auntie Liv, your father's sister who'd looked after you and loved you as her own. A small tear falls from your eye as you remember the first time you started your period.
You awoke with a start in Olivia's guest bedroom, feeling wet and uncomfortable. Your stomach was cramping in a way that it never had before and you felt strange, something was wrong. You had flicked the bedside lamp on and stared down in horror; there was blood on the bedsheet and immediately you start to scream, your heart was beating so much that it felt like it might just explode out of your chest altogether.
"Auntie Liv! Auntie Livvie..." you had bellowed from your bed, sobbing so much that what you were saying was unintelligible. It felt like hours but really it was only seconds, seconds until your favourite Aunt and second Mom came barrelling through the door, her hair tousled from sleep and her eyes wide with worry.
"Y/N sweet girl, what's wrong? Are you ok? Are you hurt?" She spoke softly and lovingly, brushing some strands of your hair away from your sweat soaked forehead and placed her hand over your rapidly beating heart.
"Auntie Livvie! Auntie Livvie! I'm dying... there's blood and I'm bleeding, please help me Auntie Livvie. I don't want to die!" You let out sobs and screams and immediately you see a look of realisation cross Olivia's face and she let's out a small giggle, only stopping when she sees the geniune fear and panic written across your face.
"Oh baby, shhh. It's ok, you're safe. You aren't dying, honey." Olivia cooed and helped you stand up, wrapping you in a soothing hug and pressing lots of kisses to your cheeks and forehead. You cuddle in close and whimper as though you're a wounded animal which makes her heart clench.
"Shhh... you're growing up, baby. Come here into the bathroom and I'll run you a hot bath, Auntie Livvie will tell you what's going on. Everything's going to be alright, Auntie Livvie's here now and I'll help you feel better ok?" Olivia gently took you by the hand and into the bathroom, she quickly made a start on filling the bath with hot water and put in your favourite bubble bath.
"There we go, let's get you out of those pyjamas and into the bath." Olivia whispered lovingly and pulled the pyjamas off of your body, letting you climb in and relax. It felt really nice, especially when you felt the hot water soothe your stomach and all the pains in your back. She waited for you to get settled before she spoke again, you leaned into her touch as she poured warm water over your hair.
"You started your period, sweetheart. It's something that happens to every girl and it means that you're developing into a woman. Your period happens because your ovaries release hormones which causes the lining in your uterus to build up. If you then don't have a baby, your uterus lining breaks down and that's what causes the bleeding," Olivia spoke calmly as she washed the conditioner out of your hair and you let out a horrified gasp and to your horror, you let out a wail and throw a tantrum that is more fitting of a toddler.
"No Auntie Livvie! I don't want that to happen... I don't want to be an adult. I don't want to bleed... it's not fair! I don't want to bleed forever, no! It's not fair..." You thrash in the water and instead of getting angry and impatient with you, she holds you tight and rocks you in her arms.
"Hush now, little one. You don't bleed forever, you will only bleed for about a week at a time every month. I know this is so scary and overwhelming, but Auntie Liv is here to help you through this. These mood swings are normal, especially when you start your period. You might feel angry, sad, happy and not understand why.. that's ok and perfectly normal. You might crave foods that you normally wouldn't such as chocolate or salty foods, again that's normal and nothing to worry about." Olivia held you even tighter when you began to sob, gently running her fingers through your now silky hair.
"I don't wanna be a grown up Auntie Livvie! Please don't make me... this hurts and my tummy hurts too... oh and my back as well..." you hiccup softly and tighten your grip on Olivia's shirt, nuzzling your face into her chest and she giggles whilst disguising it as a cough.
"Oh baby, you're not a grown up. You're Auntie Liv's little girl and you always will be, I know it's so hard and I will admit it's not my favourite part about being a woman but it is necessary... now then let's get you out of this bath before you turn into a shrivelled prune and I'll show you what you need to do..." Olivia lifted you out of the bath whilst you giggled tearfully and she sat you on the toilet. She came back a few minutes later with some of your clean underwear and rummaged in the cabinet underneath the sink, pulling out something that looked strange to you.
"Auntie Liv is that a diaper?" You blush and Olivia laughs so much that she nearly falls over and has to steady herself. You giggle too because you know that she's not laughing at you and that makes you feel better.
"No, sweet girl. It's called a period pad which will help protect your underwear from the blood. There's different things that you can use such as a tampon or a menstrual cup but for now, we will stick with this. To put a pad on, all you need to do is unwrap it and pull the paper off like so," she pulled the paper off of the back revealling the sticky bit at the back.
"Then you put the sticky part against your underwear and wrap these wings around to keep it in place. You need to change your pad every 3-4 hours and this is important because it will prevent leaks and also period pads can start to smell if they are left on for too long, not to mention it can be uncomfortable to have them on for too long." Olivia said soothingly and handed you your underwear, turning around whilst you put them on to give you some privacy.
"I leaked in my bed Auntie Liv... I didn't mean to, it was an accident!" You exclaim worriedly and she wraps her arm around you. It feels safe and secure, you feel even more safe when she helps you into a fresh pair of pyjamas and immediately places you into her bed. She makes you hot chocolate, brings you a heating pad and two ibuprofens, she settles you on her chest for a cuddle and places the heating pad on your stomach.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, it happens and it's normal. I've leaked even as an adult, sometimes you dont expect your period to come or it's heavier than you're used to. I'm so proud of you, honey... if you need to ask me anything then I'm always here for you, just cuddle up with Auntie Liv and get some rest." She cooed and you had fallen asleep immediately, safe and warm in Auntie Liv's arms.
You come around and let out a gasp of pain, feeling your tummy and back cramping even more. This was the worst period you'd ever had and you double over in your seat, missing the concerned looks that were being sent your way. After a while, Amanda gets up from her seat and strides over to you, gently bending down to your level.
"Y/N hon, are you ok? What's wrong?" She places her arm around you, getting increasingly concerned when you wail like an anxious child. Everyone knew of course that you were Olivia's niece, she'd made no effort to hide it and neither had you. However, you were both always professional; never ever did you call her 'Auntie' at work, it was always Captain or Liv and never ever did she give you special treatment. If anything she was firmer with you because she expected more from you. So, when Amanda heard your next words she knew that something was very wrong with you.
"Manda!" You said through sobs and hiccups, your hormones all over the place. It hurt so badly and you didnt understand why; you'd tried everything! Pain killers, a heating pad, hot mugs of sugary tea, soup and you'd even walked to work this morning as you'd heard that exercising helped with period cramps.
"Manda! I want my Auntie Liv... please can you get her? I want my Auntie Livvie!" You scream and a few Detectives glance at you and whisper amongst themselves, only stopping when Amanda shoots them a sharp glare and hisses at them to back off. Her heart aches; she imagines you as a little girl toddling around after Olivia and calling her that when you're hurt or scared and immediately she gets up and barges into Olivia's office without knocking.
"Amanda what are you..." Olivia trails off and immediately she gets up from her chair, sensing the urgency of Amanda's presence there. She moves over to her and Amanda wastes no time, immediately blurting out what she came in to tell her.
"Liv it's Y/N... she's in pain and she's crying out for you! I've never seen her so upset..." Amanda was pale and Olivia was out of her office within two seconds, immediately making a beeline for you. You glance up and before you know it, your arms are reaching out of their own accord and she picks you up gently, allowing your legs to wrap around her.
"Auntie Livvie... it hurts, my tummy and my back! I've tried everything... please make it stop, make the pain stop Auntie Livvie!" You cry out and hide your face against her neck, childishly hoping that if you couldn't see the other Detectives that they couldn't see you. Most of them figured out what was going on and shot you a sympathetic glance and moved away, allowing you to be cradled in Olivia's arms. However, one seasoned Detective called Carter who was known to be childish and inappropriate whispered to another.
"God, how childish! Isn't she 20? Shouldn't she have that under control by now! Fancy not being able to handle a bit of bleeding" immediately you stiffen and you feel Olivia's arms tighten around you. You hear Olivia's loud voice silence any laughter that Carter's comment had illicited.
"What did you just say?! How dare you make fun of her! This is my niece... my family, she's going through hell. How dare you make jokes when she's in such a vulnerable state, Carter you know nothing about the female anatomy so keep your mouth shut!" Olivia screamed and immediately everyone shut up, leaving the two of you alone. Olivia rocks you in her arms and kisses your cheeks, forehead and nose.
"Hey... hey. Auntie Liv's here, Auntie Liv's got you and you're safe. It's ok, you're ok... let's get you home and I'll help you feel better. We'll make you some tomato soup and hot chocolate... yeah, with extra whipped cream and marshmallows just the way you like it," she cooed in your ear whilst carrying you out of the precinct and to her car, lovingly whispering to you when you apologise to her for crying so much.
"You have nothing to apologise for, sweetheart. You're scared and in pain, I love you so much and I'm always going to be here to look after you." Olivia got buckled in and pulled out of the car park, keeping one hand on yours and one on the wheel. She spoke to you so lovingly and gently for the whole 15 minute journey back to her apartment and parked her car. That's when she got out and lifted you with ease, allowing you to snuggle into her for a cuddle while she got you into the apartment.
"Hush now baby, it's ok. I love you so much..." Olivia cooed and planted more kisses wherever she could reach and placed you on the ground. She then went into the bathroom and filled the bath up, once again putting your favourite bubble bath into the water. She then went rummaging through her wardrobe and got you out some of the softest sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt you'd ever felt and placed them on the shelving unit.
"There we go, take a nice hot bath and just relax. I'm going to get started on your favourite soup, make you some hot cocoa and then we can snuggle ok? Get you feeling a lot better, yeah?" Olivia cooed and you nodded, smiling when Olivia kissed your forehead and left the room, giving you privacy to change and have your bath. As you got undressed and sunk into the hot water, immediately your muscles relax and you close your eyes, already the pain is decreasing and you feel slightly better.
You soak in there for an hour or so until the water turns lukewarm and you get out, making sure to dry yourself and put on a pair of clean underwear, a sanitary towel and the comfy clothes that Olivia had left out for you. Just being clean made you feel good and you leave the bathroom, the smell of homemade tomato soup, grilled cheese and rich hot cocoa wafted through the entire apartment. You sit at the table and immediately a massive bowl of soup, a huge sandwich and a big cup of cocoa is placed in front of you.
"Eat up, kiddo." Olivia smiled warmly, keeping her eye on you and making sure you ate a decent sized portion. She smiled approvingly once you had and praised you as though you were still the little girl who toddled after her and clung to her legs when you had needed her comfort.
"That's it baby, I am so proud of you. Let me get you a hot water bottle and some painkillers then we will get back into bed for cuddles and a movie," Olivia handed you some tylenol and sent you into her bed whilst she made you up a hot water bottle. It wasn't long before she climbed into bed beside you and pulled you in close, allowing your head to rest on her chest and placed the heating pad on your stomach.
"Let's put on a movie Y/N. Your choice!" She exclaimed and you put on a chick flick, snuggling in close to your safe place. The person who'd been more of a Mom to you than your own had been.
Two hours had gone by and you were dozing off to sleep in Olivia's arms, not that you'd admit that you were tired. Olivia turned the tv off and you struggle in her arms, you don't want to go to bed yet!
"Come on, sweetheart. You've had a very long day and you're tired, come on. Come and snuggle with Auntie Livvie." Olivia cooed and rocked you in her arms, to your horror you fling yourself back and have a tantrum.
"No! No sleep... I'm not a baby Auntie Liv! I'm not tired... I am an adult. You can't make me..." you ball your fists and kick your legs, your hormones raging and Olivia just laughed and pulled you on her chest. She was so patient, loving and understanding, just rocking you back and forth as you had your tantrum until you'd tired yourself out.
"That's enough of that, young lady. Come on and get comfy with Auntie Liv, you're tired and in pain! You'll do as you're told... I'll even sing to you." Olivia cooed lovingly, placating you with a smile, a kiss and a cuddle until your dozing in her arms.
"I love you Auntie Livvie..." you mumble and press an innocent and childlike kiss to her lips which she reciprocates, giving you all the love that your Mom never had. She sings to you and brushes her hand through your hair, soothing your inner child.
"I love you baby, I love you so much," she whispered, a feeling of love washing over the both of you as you fall asleep safe in the arms of your Auntie Liv, your safe place, the only person who knew how to make you feel better and who knew exactly what you needed in your moment of vulnerability.