Summary: Brittany's earliest memory is of finding her tiny crescent moon just below her collarbone. Her mom tells her that her soul mark will glow and turn a different colour - a special colour that represents her inner self - when she is in love with her soulmate. Falling for Santana was never part of the plan. Slowburn Soulmates AU (Part III)
***Alternate Universe - Genderswap
Boy!Santana/Brittany
This is a childhood friends to lovers AU and Santana is a boy in this but has the same name (I read that Santana is a unisex name).
Don't like, don't read. If genderbend!Santana just isn't your thing then you might want to give this one a pass.
There are some sexual situations in this chapter when they're over eighteen.
When he's sixteen, Santana looks grown up in a way that makes Brittany's face flush and gives her butterflies. His face is handsome with striking features. His jawline and cheekbones are more defined than ever, his arms are strong, broader than they ever have been despite how naturally lean and wiry his frame is. She catches a glimpse of perfectly chiseled abs when he takes his shirt off.
Maybe it's because they're Santana's but to her, his six-pack looks better than any other boy or girl's own, even the celebrities she sees in movies or in magazines. Even the most desired jocks at McKinley can't hold a candle to Santana, in Brittany's eyes. His black hair is the darkest it has been since he was a child, medium length and curly. Santana is self-conscious about the curls but Brittany loves them. She loves the roughness of his cheeks, now that he can grow a proper beard, when he doesn't shave for a few hours. If Brittany had her way, he almost wouldn't ever shave.
He's the hottest boy to ever exist. Santana is a spoiled rich boy but he has this edge to him, this rebellious bad boy appeal that makes him irresistible to what seems like every young girl in town and Brittany most of all.
They still change in front of each other sometimes like they always used to just for convenience and she secretly sneaks glances at him. Actually, she does that every single time. She knows Santana does to her as well and gets all flustered, staring at her even taller, more developed body for much longer than he should. They don't take their underwear off in front of each other. It feels like it would be crossing some line now that they're both so grown up.
Late that summer, the two of them run to the empty park together to make the most of the last days before school begins. He chases her and somehow she ends up on top of him, rolling around together, both of them laughing until Brittany's practically crying through her giggles as she tickles him.
She's pressed up really close to him, closer than Santana would allow her to be at school now or in any other public place. It's almost like those days when they were six and always had to be cuddling close, touching, and invading each other's space. She's breathing against his neck. Back then, their cuddles were innocent but now, every touch feels so heavily charged.
He always smells so good, not like the gross, cheesy smell the other teenage boys have at their school.
Santana's natural scent is intoxicating and musky. It makes her think of something powerful, like what she would imagine fire and lightning in a bottle would smell like, the wood and spice scent of a new leather jacket. It's the smoky, sweet smell of danger in the air of gunpowder after an old shootout. It makes her think of warriors charging into battle, fireworks, or bright, intense sun rays. It's what his bold blood red aura would smell like, so wild, intense, and exciting. If she could bottle that tangy, masculine smell, she would bathe herself in it, let it wash over her and never let the scent come off of her. She would drink a bottle of it and never get tired of it.
When he sleeps over at her house every week, she still smells it on his pillow after he's gone and buries her head in it, her cheeks flushing pink as she closes her eyes and imagines him.
At the moment, she's wriggling and rolling against Santana innocently as they both laugh without thinking. Everything feels so carefree. Summer is what the two of them do best and that never changed. Dandelions are pushing up everywhere, as pretty as ever and hot sun rays are beating down on them. Her pale skin already feels burned on her bare shoulders in her tank top. Her jean shorts show off her long legs.
Then Brittany freezes, gasping softly when she feels hardness pressing against her inner thigh. Her eyes go wide but she continues giggling. Santana goes quiet, his face serious now and his frown returning. She doesn't realize what's happening at first. He sees her face, notices the direction she is staring in, and clams up.
"Santana?" She says softly, trying to get her head around why he's acting like this. In the back of her mind she knows something is different but it doesn't register because this has never happened quite like this before.
Santana stiffens and gets a firm hold on her hips, trying to stop her from moving and pull her off of him even though she is holding onto his shoulders tightly and their legs are still pressed together, her hips pushing down against his. Santana's face couldn't get any redder than it is. She can practically feel the heat coming off of him.
"Brittany, stop moving." Santana hisses, sounding pained. She eventually stops and lets him go. He gets up and tries to hide the evidence from her but he's wearing loose grey sweatpants and she catches a glimpse of the outline of his raging erection clearly, pushing against the front of his pants and making a tent in them, even though he desperately pulls his white t-shirt down in a futile attempt to try to hide it.
Brittany's not complaining one bit about the view and thinks she'd do anything for him to wear those thin grey sweatpants everyday. His ass looks amazing in them too.
She can feel her own face turning red but she can't look away, fascinated. She has never seen one before like that up close in real life. Was it her who did that to him? Did it just happen randomly?
Judging by what she sees, he's really big in that area too. Brittany is fascinated.
Santana swaggers away, humiliated when he notices what she's looking at and she follows him. It's as if Santana expects her to admonish him about it. She doesn't know why he would think that she would hate him for it. Santana has had quite a few mortifying wet dreams over the years while sleeping over at either of their bedrooms that only Brittany knew about and never told a soul about. If her parents thought there was anything weird about him doing laundry for Brittany in the mornings, thankfully they never mentioned anything about it.
"Wait, Santana. It's okay. It's no big deal." She hopes that she can get him to understand he shouldn't be embarrassed or hide from her. He's a hormonal teenage boy, after all.
"Sorry. I couldn't help it," He admits in a low, trembling voice, finally turning to face her. "The way you were moving on me…"
Santana trails off, staring down at his feet.
"I know. You don't need to apologize."
Something clicks in her head and she knows now why he sometimes doesn't want her to look at him, why he keeps his distance from her all those times and runs away when they're laying together in her bed or watching TV. She feels so stupid for not realizing what he was trying to hide before.
The thought randomly enters Brittany's mind that she really didn't want him to leave her then, that she would have been fine with sitting on his lap and holding him just like that. Then what would have happened next between the two of them?
She runs up to him and pushes her body against his, pressing their lips together before he can get another word out.
Brittany half expects Santana to pull away, to snap at her or distance himself but his lips move against hers as he reciprocates, kissing her even more passionately, open-mouthed, and carding his fingers through her waves of soft, long blonde hair.
"Can't you tell it to behave?" Brittany jokes, amused when he pulls back again after she feels his erection against her thigh. He's awkward about it at first but calms down when he realizes she isn't offended at all.
"Britt," Santana is so breathless but laughs. "I really can't, especially around you."
"That's so hot. You're sexy." She kisses him again, sighing against his lips and feels him tremble in arousal when he hears her.
Somehow, they never stop kissing after that day. They kiss a lot now. It's not something they talk about, in fact, it's their biggest secret but they kiss so much that Brittany almost forgets he isn't her boyfriend. Brittany has learnt the exact way to unravel him, the exact way to kiss his neck perfectly, get him to pull back slightly and look at her with wild, dark eyes, consumed with some barely restrained animalistic intensity. Brittany even loves when his body is sweaty from working out and he hasn't shaved. It feels so raw and primal.
Brittany knows it's more than just attraction. She wants to be his girlfriend. Whenever she tries to talk about their relationship, Santana clams up or runs away. He gets that terrified look in his eyes that she hates. Santana can't handle the judgement and hate from other people. More than that, he doesn't want Brittany to get hurt.
According to Santana, Brittany and Santana aren't dating but it sure feels like it sometimes when he takes her out alone to her favourite places, buys her everything she wants when they shop together, gives her all his attention, and generally treats her like a princess. Santana has always been like this with only Brittany but now everything it's more intense than ever. He even still looks after her when she has terrible cramps and is whimpering in her bed.
For someone who's scared of others finding out about them, it's almost always Santana who is the one to initiate their kisses, pushing Brittany up against the nearest wall or down against a bed as if he can't handle the tension between them anymore.
Santana is on the football team, even though he was never much into sports before and Brittany has become one of the best cheerleaders on the team. His body is more toned than ever, his high cheekbones harder and more defined. They've become two of the most popular students in the entire school, much to Santana's glee. Brittany enjoys the popularity but she doesn't need to win at everything the way Santana does. She's content being where she is. She doesn't need to win high school.
That school year, Brittany becomes known for something in addition to being the stupidest blonde. She's now the school slut. Though truth be told she hasn't actually slept with anyone yet but people assume she has because of how she acts. She has made out with almost everyone though, boy and girl. Her reputation doesn't bother her too much.
Santana scowls a lot and he's known for his acid tongue. Everyone else is afraid of him. He verbally assaults or physically fights whichever boy gets on his nerves and he has no shortage of insults for anyone else. Brittany's the only one who knows how soft and romantic he can be. She's not afraid of him at all.
Santana kisses her fiercely when no one is around, up in his bedroom, or in empty classrooms or that empty field near his house but he won't kiss her in public. He says he doesn't want other people to get the wrong idea.
Something breaks in Brittany when he shows no sign of wanting to make what they have official, even though her soul mark burns until it nearly hurts whenever they kiss and she can tell he's into it too. She thinks maybe she can have fun because kissing is fun. Maybe kissing all those other people will get her mind off of Santana. It never works for even a second.
Kissing is fun but no one compares to how Santana's lips and body feel pressed up against hers.
Santana said that being seen as slutty will make them popular, so kissing everyone must be a win win for Brittany.
That's why she doesn't understand why Santana sulks one day when he walks in on her making out with that one dark-haired footballer on his team and doesn't speak to her for three days. She later finds out that he punched and threatened the guy. It makes Brittany roll her eyes. Maybe she was mainly kissing the guy to get back at Santana but he's being a jerk.
The next week she sees Santana dating Emily, officially, showing her off to everyone in school and Brittany feels like she can't breathe. He makes out with the ginger-haired girl at school, pushes his hands up her skirt in front of everyone and Emily clings to him. He tells Brittany he can't come over after school because he's taking his red-haired girlfriend out to Breadstix.
That place is special to Brittany and Santana. It's where he usually takes Brittany when they go on their dates that aren't quite official dates. Everything that's normally bright and colourful in Brittany's world becomes dismal and grey. She forgets how to get to her classes and forgets to eat for a while. She can't even sleep that night.
Brittany is not usually a crier, ever since she became a teenager. Though he would never admit it, it's usually Santana who gets so angry and emotional that he's reduced to tears before Brittany does. He loses his grip on his emotions much faster.
That day she just wants to cry when she's alone. Brittany feels hot tears sliding down her cheeks because Santana shares his whole life with her, he tells her about his deepest dreams of being famous and he tells her all his secrets that no one else, not even her mom is allowed to know but he gives his body and time to someone else who doesn't even know him.
She stops speaking to him for a while, pouting a lot until the silent treatment drives Santana insane.
Brittany starts dating other guys and girls in response to Emily, though their relationships never last long, especially when Santana interferes and ruins them in his typical, dramatic and harsh way.
Normally she'd think his possessiveness was hot but she just wants to argue that he doesn't have any right to be when he won't make things official with her. She wants more from him than secret makeout sessions.
Brittany and Santana never stop kissing in private even though all of this other stuff is going on. Santana asks her not to tell anyone what they do. There's this unspoken understanding between them that they're not going to talk to each other about other people they've kissed and dated.
She knows he has kissed and dated tons of cheerleaders and other hot girls. Brittany is almost certain he's still a virgin like she is though.
Santana still gets aroused a lot around her, though neither of them talk about it when it happens. Brittany always knows because of the way he looks at her with that intense gaze and his hands clench at his sides just slightly. He bites down hard on his lip and his dark brown eyes are smouldering, saying all kinds of things that he doesn't say out loud.
His eyes and body language always tell her what he won't say in words.
Sometimes he gets turned on when she's just stroking his wrist gently with the tips of her fingers, or when she's sliding her leg against his absentmindedly when they lay together on the bed, when she's wearing short shorts or a skirt that shows off her long legs, when she's at one of their pools wearing a new bikini her mom got her, or he's watching her dance in Glee Club from the back row of the classroom.
She has definitely felt him rock hard against her when they've danced together. She grinds her hips back into his until he eventually can't take it anymore.
Of course, there was that incident when she asked Santana what he thought of the new lingerie set she was trying on in the dressing room of Victoria's Secret at the mall and the boy's jaw practically hit the floor before he made an excuse about needing to go to the bathroom and didn't come back for a while.
Brittany loves teasing and flirting with him. Santana even flirts with her, when they're alone. It's so forbidden and maybe that's what makes it even steamier when they're together, bodies pressed close. They full on make out in his bed one day for the first time until she feels him completely hard within seconds against her and he pulls apart from her, gasping and rushing into the adjoining bathroom as Brittany giggles.
She knows he'll say they're not supposed to be together and Brittany doesn't want to hear that. The most dangerous part of it is that it thrills Brittany to know when he feels aroused this way and she deliberately does anything she can to make him get that look on his face again, to make him feel like he's out of control. Brittany flirts so much because she wants to know what he thinks about when he's giving her that look and she wants to make him finally let go of that restraint.
Santana breaks up with Emily but then there's a new string of dancer girlfriends Brittany can't remember the names of. They're all leggy and blonde. They're practically Brittany clones and she wonders how he doesn't see it. They never last for long. His reputation for being a womanizer is almost as strong as Brittany's reputation for being a slut these days.
No one except Santana knows that Brittany hasn't slept with any of those guys or girls.
She walks in on Santana once when they're both seventeen. Brittany doesn't remember to tell him she is on her way over to his house after school but Maribel lets her in with a smile, encouraging her to go downstairs because she's so accustomed to her coming over for years. Brittany's like part of the family almost.
She gets to his basement bedroom and hears him grunting, breathing hard with his door closed. She thinks it's weird, she has never heard him make sounds like that before and she wonders if he's in pain or maybe these are some new vocal warmups he's doing. She hears him groan her name and raises her eyebrows.
Brittany pushes right into his room without even knocking because most of the time neither of them bother to knock and they love surprising each other. She is shocked and feels her face heating up as she sees him as she never has before, with his hand down his pants.
"Oh my God... I'm so sorry!" She yelps when she's finally able to use her voice normally again. Her heart is beating so fast and she steps back out, about to close the door.
Part of her wants to go back and watch him. It's the hottest thing she has ever seen in her life.
"I wasn't!" Santana chokes out uselessly, pulling a heavy blanket over his lap and staring at anything but her, "Whatever, you might have thought, it's not what it looked like, I wasn't doing anything. I mean anything that you might have thought I was doing!"
He still sounds a little desperate and out of breath. Brittany takes pity on him. She carefully steps outside and let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, leaning back against the closed door.
She doesn't blame him. She's not going to judge him. Brittany isn't the type of girl who's gonna act like this stuff is gross. After all, he's only doing what's natural and maybe a little relief from tension would be good for Santana. Maybe all of the unresolved something between them is what makes him even more crabby and angry at other people sometimes.
Brittany goes back upstairs, Maribel watching her in confusion but not asking any questions as she sits around in the living room in a daze.
"It's okay. I didn't see anything." She tells him sweetly and gently, trying to comfort him when he goes looking for her five minutes later, letting her into his room. She's totally lying about not seeing anything.
She wonders if he... finished. Brittany assumes he did because the tension in his face seems to be gone. He gives her this skeptical look. He seems to have washed up in the bathroom.
"Did you… you know?" She can't resist it, sauntering up to him and touching his arm flirtatiously.
"Brittany!" He practically squeaks, even though his voice is normally so deep. It's practically a baritone now that he's on the cusp of manhood.
"You were so sexy doing that. Kiss me, please."
Santana sighs, sounding relieved and gives in to Brittany instantly when she comes close, sliding a hand behind his neck. He seems more relaxed when she ignores everything after that and doesn't make it a big deal out of what she saw.
She is never able to get the image out of her head. It keeps her awake some nights and she clenches her thighs because there's this tingling wetness between them that she always gets when she thinks about Santana.
Brittany always thinks of that frantic look on Santana's face, the way his jaw clenched and his eyes were squeezed shut, the low sound that came out of his mouth as he groaned before he realized she was standing there watching him.
"How do you... you know?"
She asks him this one day when they're laying around on his bed with their books out, doing homework. Or they're supposedly doing homework, even though Brittany hasn't read more than a sentence and Santana has spent more time with his tongue down her throat than anything else. Brittany can't think of anything other than his hips grinding against hers insistently when he forced her down against his bed earlier.
He gives her a funny look, raising an eyebrow at her flushed face and the curious lilt to her voice. As always, Santana is so patient with her.
"Huh? Know what? You're gonna have to give me something more to work with Britt. What do you mean?"
"I mean when you're," She lowers her voice trailing off almost to a whisper even though no one else is around to overhear. They've never talked about anything like this before. "Touching yourself. How do you make yourself... you know?"
Santana's back goes rigid and his eyes couldn't be any wider. He blinks at her a few times slowly and it takes him a while to respond, his voice sounding even more raspier than usual, a tone that she hasn't really heard from him before that makes her shiver.
"You're asking me how to make yourself come?"
"Yeah..." She rests her head in her hands and looks up at him shyly. Brittany isn't usually shy about anything but Santana brings out this side of her. Hearing that word from Santana's lips in his deep, gravelly voice makes the room suddenly feel ten times hotter.
"You've really never had one before?" He whispers back in amazement.
Brittany shakes her head and he becomes so visibly flustered, shifting beside her. She sees him squeeze his thighs together.
He looks like he's short circuiting and whips around to face her so fast.
"Have you touched yourself before?" He asks carefully, biting his lip as he watches her with a glazed over look in dark eyes as if he's imagining her doing that. He looks at her like he wants to ask her a lot more, or maybe devour her right there but he holds back, his jaw clenched tight. "Maybe for girls it's different."
"I do that to myself all the time," He inhales sharply when Brittany says this and she looks up at him through her long eyelashes coquettishly. "Like a lot but I just can't, you know. It feels good but I think I'm doing something wrong. It just keeps building to something good but I never, at least I don't think I have."
Santana is breathing harshly as if he's clearly imagining what she's talking about and closes his eyes as if he's trying to calm himself. It takes everything in Brittany not to kiss him right at that moment as she edges a little closer.
"Britt..." Santana says in his gritty voice and it sounds almost like a warning to her not to continue. She's pushing the limits of his self-control and she knows it. It's one thing to kiss but even making out is going a little too far and this type of talk is definitely forbidden.
"Will you teach me?"
"Teach you? H-how would I do that?" He stammers. Brittany just looks at him imploringly. She's definitely trying to seduce him.
"Look, Britt," He sighs, staring at anything but her - his shoes, his gold watch, the ceiling. "This is dangerous. I can't. You... we're friends, best friends... you're my best friend in the universe. Besides, you know. You know I have a sun and you have a moon mark. It's just... not right for two people like us to… "
"Oh." She doesn't bother hiding her disappointment and sadness as she continues to watch him closely. She doesn't bother arguing that they makeout all the time and how special he always makes her feel.
"When we were little kids I promised your dad I would protect you," Santana says firmly. "The world is harsh and you know what they'd do to anyone doesn't follow society's rules. Anyone who's not normal, not typical, is going to have a horrible time. I have to protect you, even if that means protecting you from myself. We shouldn't..."
"You say we shouldn't but you want to," Brittany blurts daringly, her voice more confident and it seems to startle him like nothing else. Brittany normally never pushes her luck this much, scared that he will shut down completely and not kiss or touch her anymore, or get angry with her. She's frightened of losing him but she can't help but always hope for more.
Santana shifts beside her in a mixture of what she assumes are nerves and arousal. He fidgets, running his hand through his dark hair. He says nothing but his silence and the look on his face is enough of an answer.
Brittany continues in a soft but firm tone.
"You really want me. Even right now you want me so much, you can barely handle it." She looks him right in those dark, mesmerizing eyes and says it as a statement in confidence rather than a question.
Santana can't seem to handle the temptation of her and gives in, pushing her back on the bed and sliding his lips to hers. They're both panting, red in the face and he has his hand under her shirt for the first time, feeling her up. Brittany moans softly, arching her back when she feels his plump lips tracing her neck.
The sound of Brittany's moan seems to trigger something in Santana and he pulls apart suddenly. Brittany watches him, trying to convey with her eyes how much she needs more from him.
He can't seem to handle her staring and gets up really fast and throws his bag over his shoulder. Brittany wants to say something more but she can tell that he's retreating and the conversation is officially over. He clears his throat but still sounds raspy when he speaks. She can tell he's so turned on.
"I'm gonna go. Have some homework and stuff to do. Bye for now, Britt."
Brittany whimpers, rolling over to bury her face into her pillow. She isn't sure what more she expected. Santana never seems to change nor does Brittany's desire for him ever go away.
She's seventeen and a half and she wants him so badly, it makes her ache. Brittany doesn't think you could ever want someone so much. It isn't possible to want someone as much as Brittany wants Santana. Her stomach twists up in knots and flips now whenever he holds her and she clenches her thighs together when he massages her back after cheerleading practice.
When their bodies are pressed together and when they're kissing, she feels like he can smell her arousal and feel the wet warmth between her legs. Brittany feels his heart beating really fast like hers when their chests are pressed up together.
He's avoiding Brittany all the time, as if he can sense the way she's watching him. Santana keeps holding back. She has never felt this feeling so magnified before, this strong desire for him.
"I have an idea. Why don't we get ourselves off but do it for each other instead of by ourselves?"
Santana stares at her astonished. He blinks several times and he looks flushed.
"That's just the same as having sex with each other, Britt."
"Not really. Not technically," Brittany tries to reason although even in her head she knows he's right. "It will be just like what we do when we're alone except we'll be doing it together. So it's like masturbation but with two people."
Santana lets out a heavy sigh. He's beyond flustered again.
"You're just not making any sense."
It's worth a shot anyway, she thinks.
"It won't technically be sex. Sun and moon people can't have sex, that's what everyone says anyway." She sounds unconvincing even to herself.
Although she's lying and she knows it deep down. She can imagine it in her head and it seems like sex in every possible way to her but she's telling him what she thinks he wants to hear.
It's late summer after their final year of high school now. Santana just had his eighteenth birthday and Brittany had hers months before.
Santana's bedroom in the basement of the Lopez house is always freezing and it's just as well because his skin always burns almost unnaturally hot so she can count on him to keep her warm. He's not wearing a shirt even and that somehow made Brittany's night way better. She doesn't even hide the way she looks at him now.
Tonight, she's quieter than normal though, feeling nervous and jittery. Santana eventually notices she's not her normal chatty and cheerful self.
"What's wrong, Britt?"
Santana watches her with concern. She doesn't know how to tell Santana this and she normally says nothing to him about what she does with boys but she feels like this is such a big step for her. Her best friend in the universe should know. Besides, she needs someone to talk to because she's secretly a little scared and unsure.
"Jack and I have a date on Saturday. He wants to go all the way," She whispers, doodling on her notebook. "I'm gonna do it."
Santana clenches his fists and looks like he's about to be sick when he hears this news. He starts to argue.
"Since when?! You know you don't have to do anything you don't feel like doing."
"I don't know, Chelsea says it's a good idea for me not to be a virgin. Plus, I think Jack's gonna be mad if I don't."
"Who cares what they think?" Santana scoffs, "He doesn't own you. Look, Britt, don't let that sleazy asshole put his hands on you. You deserve way better than that."
"He's a nice guy, San. You just need to give him a chance."
That comment causes Santana to fly off the handle.
"No, he's not! He's a fucking gross jock who's gonna use you and drop you as soon as he gets what he wants. I don't know why you can't see it."
"How can you say that about him when you don't know him?"
"He's just like any other Lima Loser. You deserve something more special than that douche or any of those other creepy jocks."
"Why does it matter to you so much if we're not dating? You shouldn't be so mean about them."
"It's just," Santana seems to try a more gentle tone, "They don't deserve you. You're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl in existence. Don't you think you deserve your first time to be special?"
Brittany says nothing, not wanting to argue and admit what she really thinks about everything. She feels breathless and warm inside about him calling her beautiful. He whips around to face her, still stuck on the topic of her and Jack.
"You're really going to do that?"
"Maybe it'll be fun." She shrugs. She tries to make it sound casual.
Santana makes a noise of disgust when he hears this.
"Uh, hell no. I can't believe you're gonna let that trash touch you. Goddammit."
Santana continues to grumble, in a terrible mood.
"Stop it," She finally goes up to him and says, placing her hand on his jaw and sliding her fingertips over the defined angle. He has the most striking bone structure. Her gaze falls to his plump lips and he's gazing at her lips heatedly as well. She always notices how his upper lip is slightly fuller than the lower one, in a sexy way. "Just tell me, so why can't I do it with someone else?"
"You just can't." Santana makes a face like if this is the worst thing he's ever heard. "I don't want to talk about this."
"Why? Why don't you want me to be with someone else?"
"I just, I…" He stammers nervously, swallowing hard.
Brittany eventually changes the subject, realizing he won't admit to anymore.
"You know it really would be my first time so that's why I'm a little scared." She blushes. As much as she is a flirt, she's not really as promiscuous as everyone assumes.
"I know," He pauses for a moment, sounding relieved, and looks away. "This is embarrassing to admit but I've done... stuff with girls. I've never gone all the way either."
Brittany isn't surprised somehow. Santana has always been girl crazy but it felt like he was holding back some part of him from anyone else. Maybe they both have been.
"About what you were saying before, about it being special for me," Brittany whispers her next words, unsure if she's allowed to say what she secretly feels out loud. "It wouldn't ever be special if it wasn't with you."
Santana falls into a stunned silence. Something seems to finally break inside of him, as if he can't take the tension between them any longer. She's only saying what both of them know deep down but have never admitted to out loud before.
"Look, I'll take care of you. If you really need this now, please just trust me."
Brittany is at a loss for words and then they're kissing deeply, somehow more heatedly than they ever have before, his lips slanting against hers and their mouths opening for each other. Brittany slides her tongue expertly against his and Santana groans. No one knows how to kiss each other the way they do.
"Oh, Brittany. I'll be gentle," He husks against her ear. "You're precious to me."
That's how Santana has always made her feel.
A warm, bright feeling comes over her and she finally understands how she feels. Brittany is in love with him. That is what this has been all along, starting as an innocent crush when they first met. She's so, so in love with Santana.
Brittany wants to tell Santana so badly, wants to shout it from the rooftops but she bites her lip, holding back because she knows Santana might not be ready and she doesn't know what she would do if he left her when they came this far.
He helps her strip off her shirt, then she shimmies out of the jean shorts she's wearing. She's left in a bra and lace panties. Santana is gazing at her lustfully and sighing in appreciation at every inch of skin revealed.
"You're so beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," He traces every freckle and soft patch of skin. "You look like an angel."
"Is that how you really feel?" Brittany feels a pink flush to her face, her heart fluttering. No one has ever made her feel like this.
Santana nods with one of his sexy smirks. He pushes her gently up against the wall and starts to touch her body more, her bra and panties ending up somewhere on the floor before long. He's still slightly shorter than she is but his lean body is stronger than Brittany's, made up of firm, defined muscle and Brittany loves having Santana manhandle her.
Brittany can feel how rock hard he is against her already, straining against those grey sweatpants slung low on his hips just from their kissing and their close proximity. She licks her lips, enjoying the view.
Santana presses his lips to hers again and their steamy kiss quickly deepens. She whimpers into his mouth when he takes a moment to palm her breasts. Santana's hand slides down her tight abs, pausing to stroke them and they both shiver, leaning close to each other.
Brittany sighs and whimpers as she feels the calloused tips of Santana's fingers brush against the softness of her inner thigh, admiring the silky wetness he finds there and humming low in his throat in appreciation.
Brittany feels so safe and loved somehow. Santana is so gentle with her just like he said he would be, whispering the sweetest things in her ear as he searches for and finds her clit. He touches the tiny nub, rubbing small circles. Brittany feels the tightness build in her core, the pleasure building until she can barely take anymore and whimpers.
Santana's fingers slide through her folds, circling her tight opening and she gasps when he slips one finger inside of her as his thumb rubs her clit. He strokes her sensitive walls, pushing in and out. It barely hurts because she's so drenched.
Santana keeps kissing her neck, licking and nipping all of the sensitive areas until she's going out of her mind with want. She doesn't feel afraid because it's Santana she's with.
It was always going to be her and Santana in the end.
Brittany can't imagine this happening any other way for her.
"Fuck. You're so soft. So tight." He groans into her neck adoringly.
"S-Santana," Brittany hears herself whine as he adds a second finger and stretches her out perfectly. "Don't stop. Please."
She winces a little at the third finger but then she adjusts and it starts to feel good.
"This okay?" He asks, kissing her ear and slowing the movements. "Am I hurting you?"
"A little but I don't want you to stop. Please. More."
"Lay back, Beautiful." Santana urges her, sounding pleased by her response and steering them toward her bed. Brittany does as he says, laying back while he climbs on top of her, barely pausing before continuing to pump into her slowly.
Santana doesn't stop, even though he's panting heavily and she notices the way he keeps pressing his hips down against the mattress as she continues to whimper and moan when he curls his fingers. The pressure bursts and she arches her back.
For a moment, she feels blissful.
She has done this to herself before but it's nothing compared to this. Having Santana gaze down at her with tender dark eyes and whisper the softest, sweetest things to her as he holds Brittany through it, keeping her anchored feels so much more intense. Santana's chest and abs are so strong and sculpted above hers. Brittany can't resist running her palms over them, loving the hardness of his body.
Suddenly it's not enough and all she can see is Santana's nervous, flustered face above hers. She wants Santana to feel the same things she's feeling. She wants to see him lose control completely. Brittany slides her hand into those old sweatpants that always drive her hormones crazy, feeling for him and he gasps loudly when she slides her fingers around his cock tentatively. Santana immediately thrusts into her hand as if he can't help it, inhaling sharply when she wraps her lithe fingers around him, stroking up and down the length of him. There's so much of him.
Brittany continues pumping, learning what he likes from his facial expressions and the way he twitches when she does something particularly good, moans escaping his throat. It's so hot just watching him. She feels like she's the one really in control here, somehow.
Santana can't handle the touching anymore. He gets a serious look of concentration on his face and looks like he's in pain, grabbing her wrist to stop her from moving her hand. He grabs her ass, grinding their hips together. Brittany gasps at the feeling of his straining erection pressing directly against her core. She knows what she wants and she needs it urgently.
"Wait, Brittany…"
She realizes she's going to have to take charge as he meets her gaze with a shy, flustered expression. With Brittany's help, they get his sweatpants off the rest of the way and Santana kicks it aside. He was wearing nothing underneath and the thought makes Brittany's lust for him grow even more.
Now they're both fully nude in front of each other. Brittany is finally seeing him completely naked. She hadn't seen Santana like this before except the few times she accidentally walked in on him in the shower but it's different like this. Brittany's eyes widen. His cock is so long, thick and tilted upward.
"You're sexy," She breathes. He really is sexy and gorgeous in every possible way. He's such a man. "Wow, you're so big."
Brittany always knew he would be but she practically groans in appreciation now, thinking about how good it will feel filling her. Santana seems a little embarrassed about her staring but so proud and smug at her obvious fixation on that one part of him. She tries to touch it again but he pulls away with a chuckle. Santana pulls her in close instead, kissing her deeply and she feels his hardness pressed firmly up against her thigh.
He's fully erect and throbbing, his hips already rocking toward her as if he can't stop. She leans in to nibble on his ear, knowing it's Santana's weak spot and he jerks up into her thigh with an aroused gasp. She realizes he's dripping so much just like she is, all over her thigh. Santana is just as turned on as she is.
"Britt, can I?"
He looks at her face for any sign of hesitation and their eyes meet. Brittany tries to convey her desire for him as their eyes meet, spreading her legs further and placing her hands on his hips encouragingly. She lifts her hips. Santana takes his erection in his hand, guiding it along the seam of Brittany's wet folds. He closes his eyes and hisses when he feels her heat and wetness against him for the first time.
Santana gives in to the insistent pressure and burn he no doubt feels between his legs. He begins to slide into her, caressing Brittany's cheek gently, as if trying to comfort her through it.
The feeling is foreign, different from her own three fingers or even his larger fingers but she wants it and she's so wet. It hurts, but she aches for more of it. It feels more sacred than anything else when they're connected like this, as close as they can possibly be to each other. The way it feels like part of Brittany's body is so perfectly made for this part of Santana to fit into like lock and key.
"Oh, you're so tight." He moans.
Then before she knows it Santana's fully hilted inside of her and he pauses for a moment, that serious look of concentration on his face again as he leans up on his elbows to avoid crushing her and she realizes he can barely hold himself back as he trembles against her.
He's so thick and long, definitely has to be larger than average. Brittany almost feels like she's being split in two, wincing at the intrusion but she craves more of Santana.
"Feels good." She groans, looping an arm around his neck as her body becomes receptive to him.
His firm, strong body is covering her own completely, his lips against her neck as her mouth opens and closes. She loves the heat of his sweaty skin searing against hers.
"Brittany, you're so wet… I need… "
Brittany can tell how much the pressure between his legs is getting to Santana as he shifts against her, an almost pained look of urgency on his face as he attempts to stay still for her sake, allowing her to get accustomed to this.
She's ready; she doesn't want him to hold back anymore so she begins to roll her hips up into his experimentally, trying to convey the message that it's okay for him to start moving too. The movement feels natural to her as a dancer and it's instinctual. Santana's movements are so frenzied, becoming erratic when he can't hold back anymore.
Brittany keeps whimpering, grabbing his ass and squeezing firmly then running her palms up over his back and shoulders, loving the solid feeling of him and warmth of his firm, muscular body. It's starting to feel better for her, heat building low in her core with each deep slide into her.
Santana keeps thrusting and she can tell that he's feeling really good but trying to remain stoic even though his eyes are fluttering and his lips are parting. His stamina is good for the first time but it doesn't take long before his moments start becoming more jerky and less controlled. He leans down, tasting her pink nipple and they both feel the rush of wetness from her as he fondles her breasts.
Santana looks at her as if he's ashamed that he's already reduced to panting and on the edge after just a short time. He's already losing any sense of control.
"Fuck, you're tight. I- I can't stop."
Eventually Santana can't seem to stop himself from grunting in pleasure into her neck as her breasts rub against his strong chest. Brittany whimpers each time he bottoms out, clinging tightly to him. It feels so good having him inside of her and then when he changes the angle of his thrusts, Brittany feels even more of the tingling sensation, her pleasure building higher. Santana pushes his pelvis hard into hers suddenly for one powerful thrust, losing his rhythm. Brittany squeaks.
"Are you close? I'm gonna come," Santana freezes up against her and then as soon as he says this, his expression changes suddenly. Then it happens. His lips part and he orgasms in her unexpectedly with a moan as he pushes as deep as he can inside of her. "Oh."
Brittany bites back a smile but it's also incredibly sexy watching Santana fall apart.
Brittany arches up into his frame with a whimper.
She feels a burst of heat as Santana twitches and spills himself inside of her for the longest time with a deep groan of her name, finally collapsing into her arms. His thighs push against hers and she keeps her legs wrapped around his waist. Santana's hips keep flexing against hers as he's not completely finished yet, rocking her body with the strength of his, which she thinks is so hot. Brittany tightens her hold on his back, clinging to Santana tightly and wanting to keep him locked inside of her forever. She loves everything about Santana. They both struggle to catch their breath.
Then, when she's slightly coherent again she notices something she doesn't expect. The little sun-shaped mark on him that he forgot to cover up that day is glowing dark red and hers is burning against her own skin, fully light pink. Santana notices the same thing and his eyes open wide…
To Be Continued