Episode 1: Overture
The story begins with a deception of the universe, where heaven lies in the sky with its golden gates shining. Charlie Morningstar, my mother was telling me the story of how entities called Angels made the universe. Charlie liked to tell me these stories on Extermination Day to help me cope on this day.
Charlie: "Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light, Angels that worshiped good and shielded all from evil."
As the narration goes on, the images show the silhouette of her father, my grandfather, Lucifer Morningstar, making fireworks, which draws the ire wrath of the angels for his behavior.
Charlie: "Lucifer was one of these angels. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. For they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world. So, he watched as the angles began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Adam and Lilith, equals as the first of Mankind."
The angels then created a planet called Earth where they produced the first humans, Adam and Lilith.
Charlie: "But, despite this, Adam demanded control, and Lilith refused to submit to his will. She fled the Garden. Drawn in by her fierce independence, Lucifer found her, and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love."
Lilith rejects Adam and flees, where she meets Lucifer and falls in love.
Charlie: "Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with the humanity, offering the Fruit of Knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted."
They came to Adam's new bride, Eve, to offer her an apple from the tree to bring free will to humanity.
But the Earth was shattered by darkness unleashed by them. The angels banished Lucifer and Lilith from Heaven and Earth and into the depths of the black and dark realm now called hell.
Charlie: "But this gift came with a curse. For with this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin. And the order Heaven worked to maintain what was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created, never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream."
While Lucifer stagnated, Lilith thrived and brought hell to new heights, leading the angels to start the yearly Extermination as population control for the overpopulated demons and sinners.
Charlie: "But Lilith thrived, empowering demonkind with her voice and songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year, they would send down an army, an Extermination, to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilith's hope remained. And her dream was passed down to their precious daughter, the Princess of Hell."
As Charlie finishes narrating, she closes a book titled "The Story of Hell" and looks out to the Pentagram City. I sighed as I watched the souls being killed by the exterminators.
"Mom? Do you think we will ever get them to stop this extermination day?" I asked.
"I don't know, sweetheart. I'm hoping one day we can though." Charlie said. Charlie puts her hand on my shoulder and then looks out the window again. "Don't worry, Mom. I'll make you proud."
Charlie and I soberly look out the window to Pentagram City burning to the ground, just as Vaggie, my other mother comes into the room.
"Charlie? Lana?" Vaggie said.
The key Charlie is holding transforms into KeeKee who scampers away and Charlie and I turn to Vaggie in surprise.
"Aah! Oh, shit. Did you hear all that?" Charlie shouted.
"Uh, yeah. I was right there." Vaggie said and points her thumb to the doorway.
"Sorry. I get pre-tty worked up after an extermination happens. The story helps..." Charlie said.
Vaggie chuckles. "I know. Don't worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?" Vaggie asks. Vaggie sits down with Charlie.
"I'm fine. Just... thinking, ya know? Family stuff." Charlie said.
"Did you hear from your mom yet?" Vaggie asked.
Charlie shakes her head in dismay.
"Oof... how long has it been now?" Vaggie asked.
"Not that long, only...seven...years, off doing something important, I'm sure! But, this kingdom was something she really cared about. Something I care about." Charlie said.
"Well, at least you aren't alone," Vaggie said.
"I just hope what I'm trying to do here will work," Charlie said.
"It will. I have faith in you." Vaggie said.
"So do I," I said.
KeeKee leaps into my arms and Vaggie stands up. I gave KeeKee a pat on the head. KeeKee is mine and Charlie's pet that we own and the hotel's key.
"Alright, come on. Alastor says he has something he wants to show us." Vaggie said. Vaggie walks out of the room.
"Oh, okay," I said.
I follow behind my mother's. As Vaggie leaves, a loud bell rings throughout the city, and Charlie turns to the Bell Tower at Heaven's Embassy. She looks on with sadness, knowing that it's another year before the Extermination comes again. I hate Extermination Day. I wished it was not a thing.
The scene turns static before it fixes itself to reveal a sinner stabbing another demon to death with a knife before Alastor caught their attention.
The camera turns static before Alastor speaks. "Well hello there, you wayward sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and a depravity of sexual nature? Of course, you do. That's why you're in hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?"
As the camera rolls, the scene switches from the front of Hazbin Hotel to Charlie on camera as she waves at it before Angel comes into view, putting two fingers over the head prank behind her, to Charlie's interview with Katie Killjoy.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar, and her daughter, Lana Diane Morningstar!" Alastor said.
Then a picture of her and me crying as we face away from my grandfather who was in the opposite direction under a spotlight then showing her plan via poster to a confused crowd.
"Come place your fate in their inexperienced hands, as Charlie tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!" Alastor said.
To the bartender, Husk, who was clearly drunk, passing out on the ground as Niffty, the hotel maid, tries to stab and chase after a bug, and then to Angel, with a support beam falling close to KeeKee, scaring the demon cat before running off, and Angel flipping Alastor off.
"Here we offer fun things, such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow!" Alastor said.
The scene switches to a poor drawing of the hotel before the commercial ends.
"All of this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your late desperate attempt at salvation starts here!" Alastor said.
Alastor turns off the television.
"So, what do you think?" Alastor asked.
On the couch, Me, Charlie, and Vaggie were surprised of the commercial being poorly misleading and very offensive to their nature, that Vaggie throws a fit at Alastor.
"I'm sorry. What the fuck was that?" Vaggie said.
"I agree. What the actual fuck, dude?! That was terrible!" I shouted.
"Uh, yeah. One note, Alastor, I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit... off? We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um..." Charlie paused for a minute, unsure of the words to use.
"Bad. The word you're looking for is bad." Vaggie said.
"Funny. I was going to say hilarious." Alastor said.
"It's not hilarious to me," I said.
"It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point," Vaggie said.
"Vaggie is right, Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them," Charlie said.
"Well my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself. But, you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement." Alastor said.
He taps the television twice with his microphone staff.
"So, I had a little fun with it," Alastor said.
"Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it?" Vaggie stands up. "Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you're mocking us. Nobody's gonna wanna come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time."
Angle raises his hand from the couch, catching everyone's attention.
"What?" Vaggie said.
"If'n filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?" Angel said.
Angel takes the bottle with one arm before pointing all three arms at himself but neither Vaggie nor I likes it.
"Angel, you're a porn star," I said.
"A famous porn star. I'll have the horniest sinners knocking these walls down to get in." Angel said.
"We are not filming porn as a commercial," Vaggie said.
"Yeah, no porn," I said.
"Why not? Sex sells, doesn't it? I swear if you film me goin' at it with mister fancy-talk creepy voice here, you'd be rollin' in participants willing to stay at this tacky hotel." Angel said.
"In case you forgotten we are trying to redeem sinners here," I said. Angel groans at my comment. I rolled my eyes at him.
As he was explaining some more, Alastor appears right beside the couch next to Angel and laughs with amusement.
"Haha! Never going to happen!" Alastor said.
"Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don't want to exploit you in that way," Charlie said.
"Why, Mom? Because it'd be fucking gross?" I said.
"Watch your mouth, Lana," Charlie said firmly.
"Oh please, baby. This body was made to be exploited. I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs. I got the lung capacity." Angel laughs. "Oh, I got the legs. The gag reflexes, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits."
Charlie laughs nervously until Charlie's phone rings from Lucifer.
"Hold that thought! I'll be right back!" Charlie said.
"I could keep going all night, baby," Angel said.
While Angel Dust drinks his beer, Charlie breathes nervously and answers the call.
"Hello? Dad?" Charlie said.
"Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can't he just make people stay here?" Angel asked.
"Oh, trust me," Alastor said, smiling in a mischievously creepy look with dark magic. "I can."
"Why do you think I'm here?" Husk said. "You think I'd be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn't forcing me."
As Husk cleans a bottle, Niffty pops up from behind the counter with a hand raised.
"I like being forced," Niffty said. I cringed when she said that.
"Keep that to yourself, Niff," Husk said.
"What? You don't love being here with me, Whiskers?" Angel said.
"Call me Whiskers again and I'll jam the bottle down your throat." Husk threatens.
"Kinky. Come on, keep talking dirty." Angle said.
Vaggie sighed. "Angel. Let Husk do his job. And no, we can't force sinners to stay here. They need to choose to." Vaggie said.
"I'm choosing to be here, and I think it's all stupid. We're in Hell, toots. That's kind of the end of the road, ain't it?" Angel said.
"Well, maybe it doesn't have to be. Just because nobody has made it out before doesn't mean it's not possible." Vaggie said.
"You know what they say, there's a first time for everything," I said.
Angel places a hand on mine and Vaggie's shoulder, giving us a deadpan expression while the latter makes the same one.
"Hey, whatever means I can keep crashing here rent-free. Crack is expensive." Angel said.
Back to Charlie, after the phone call she seemed really happy with the news her father brought her.
"Yeah, I can totally, yeah. Lana and I will head over there right away. Okay?" Charlie said.
Charlie hangs up the phone and gasps in excitement.
"Yes... YES!" Charlie screamed.
Charlie giggles in excitement when she hears about the news until she calls Vaggie and I in gibberish, waving very franticly that freaks Vaggie and I out.
"VAGGIE! LANA! HOLY SHIT!" Charlie screamed.
"Ah! What?" Vaggie said.
"What is it, Mom?" I ask.
Charlie waves us to come to her for some exciting news. I was curious as to what this was all about.
"Get over here you two!" Charlie mumbles excitedly.
Vaggie and I looked at each other. Vaggie sighs and comes to Charlie while she is jumping around in a very happy mode. As Angel Dust drinks in the background, Vaggie and I meet Charlie behind.
"What's going on?" Vaggie asked.
"What's this all about, Mom?" I asked.
Charlie breaths in and out to calm her nerves so she can explain, but she was explaining so fast due to her excitement that it was hard to keep up with her.
"My dad just called, he said that the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet. He asked if Lana and I could go instead." Charlie said.
Charlie hyperventilates and grabs Vaggie and I to get up close. Vaggie, however, was confused since the Angels were already done with their extermination and won't be back for another year. I was confused as well. Why would they want to see us again after they just got done here? As much as I am confused, I was also excited about the news.
"But- but the extermination just happened. What could they want this soon after-" Vaggie was cut off. As Vaggie went on, Charlie and I were in the mood to get our hotel project to work and remained hopeful. Charlie and I begin to sing.
Charlie and Lana: I can do this! Somehow, I know it!
We'll get Heaven behind our plans!
Vaggie: "Charlie, Lana hold on..."
Charlie and Lana: There's just no way I could blow it.
Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!
Vaggie: "It's just a meeting."
Charlie and Lana: To change their minds
And touch their hearts
Or... whatever angels have!
Vaggie: This could be bad...
Charlie: Cheer up, Vaggie!
This could be swell!
Something tells me that today will be a happy day in Hell!
Vaggie: "Okay, but just don't... sing to them."
Just before Vaggie could warn us, Angel, Alastor, Niffty, and Keekee were already at the open door where they can see Charlie and me singing out in the destroyed Pentagram City, as Angel turns back to Vaggie still drinking from a bottle.
Angel: "Those bitches are halfway down the street!"
Vaggie: "Are they—?"
Angel: "Oh, they're dancin'!"
Vaggie: "Ugh, no..."
Charlie and I are making our way down the street, oblivious to the destruction and bodies of dead demons everywhere as we continue to sing our song.
Charlie and Lana: There's a warm, fuzzy feeling.
That wafts through the air.
Every street so revealing. It's hard not to stare!
Charlie and I come to a window of a sex dungeon where a Hellhound is humping against an imp wearing a sadomasochism mask. They notice her, and Charlie and I awkwardly flees before continuing to sing.
Charlie and Lana: It's a realm so appealing it beats anywhеre.
If you don't mind the smell...
Charlie accidentally steps on a dead shark demon that was releasing a very bad smelly fume into her nose. She cautiously avoids the corpse and presses on the street.
Charlie and Lana: It's a happy day in Hell!
Charlie and I waves at a demon who was holding a newspaper before we catch his attention, revealing himself to be a meth addict with a spoon full of meth.
Lana: "Hi, mister!"
Demon: "Go fuck yourself!"
Lana: "Fuck you, too!"
One demon opens his window, revealing his apartment on fire.
Demon #1: There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul
Charlie: "Hello!"
Demon #2: And a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole!
Charlie: "Ah, excuse me!"
Demon #3: Doing what is required, we all have our role.
Sinner #1: I'm not doin' well!
Demons: Another shitty day in Hell!
Charlie and I climb on the trunk of the destroyed car and face the other direction.
Charlie and Lana: If I can show them the dream we've dreamed.
That any soul can change!
From the Hazbin Hotel, Vaggie comes into the watchtower, as if she's calling out to her girlfriend and daughter.
Vaggie: Those angels' minds are hard to change.
Then they will know everyone can be redeemed.
From the evil to the strange!
Vaggie: They're bloodthirsty and deranged!
I can hear all their stories.
The lost and displaced.
And I know that they're more of an acquired taste.
But! if I open the door and I give them a place.
At my Hazbin Hotel. It'll be a happy day in Hell!
A truck comes by, and Charlie grabs my hand and we hitch a ride from behind so we can get around the city such as the porn studios, and the Cannibal Town.
Charlie and Lana: From the porn studio.
Where the cinephiles go.
To watch award-winning demon bukkake shows!
To the Cannibal Town. Where they don't wear a frown 'cause.
Charlie was shot in the eye with blood from one of the corpses that the cannibals were eating on.
Charlie: "Holy shit! Ew, my gosh! WHY?!"
Lana: "That's gross!"
Charlie and Lana: And I don't give a crow that. His brain's got in my eye!
Cause I know I can spare them. From Heaven's genocide!
We can do this, I just know it!
Sinner #1: There's an endless trash fire that's burning my soul.
Charlie and Lana: We'll get Heaven behind our plans!
There's just no way I could blow it.
Sinner #2: I kinda like the barbed wire that's shoved in my hole.
Charlie and Lana: Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!
To change their minds.
Right in the moment, a slug with a trenchcoat comes into picture, exhibiting his nudist body in front of me and Charlie, which creeps us out.
Trenchcoat Demon: "And touch my parts!"
Lana: "Fuck no!"
Charlie: "Uh... No thank you. I'm just gonna..."
Fulfill my destiny!
Trenchcoat Demon: Your loss, bitch!
Charlie and Lana: I can already tell!
Today is gonna bе a fuckin' happy day in Hell!
Charlie and I have gotten to right where we want to be, the Heaven Embassy with the watchtower. We open the door to peek inside.
"Hello!" Charlie called.
I held onto Charlie's hand a big nervously as we entered the door and find the whole embassy deserted. We walk into the front desk to check-in.
"Hello?" Charlie called again—her voice echoes.
"Is anyone there?" I called.
"Creepy..." Charlie said.
Charlie and I come to the front desk with no one but a single bell. She taps the bell to ring it, and at the instant, a golden scroll and feather ink pen float from above over to her.
"Oh, okay..." Charlie signs the paper. "Also creepy."
The scroll and the feather fly up before disappearing. Right then, the twin doors slide open and show Charlie and I the meeting room, and we enter inside the dark room with no one around.
"Mom, I thought we were having a meeting?" I said, confused.
"Yeah... hang on," Charlie said. "Uh...hello? Is anyone there?"
The lights suddenly switch on, revealing two angels at the end of the room, with one being an exorcist lieutenant, Lute, and the big boss leader of the angel army, Adam, who is eating a rib in his hand.
"'Sup?" Adam said.
"Holy, shit!" Charlie cried.
I screamed, startled by their sudden appearance, and jumped on Charlie's back. "Fuck!" I yelled. Charlie and I fell down after getting surprised. I took a moment to catch my breath and stop my hands from shaking. Charlie helped me up and we readjust ourselves to introduce ourselves properly.
"Hi, I'm Lana. The Princesses' daughter." I said.
"And I'm Charlie. My dad asked if we could meet you." Charlie said.
"Yeah, I know," Adam said.
"Okay, well," Charlie said. Adam eats his rib like a buzzsaw.
"It's nice to meet you," Charlie said.
"Yeah, same," I said.
"Totally. It's nice to meet you, too." Adam said.
Adam reaches over to give Charlie and I a handshake, and as we were about to shake his hand, our hands slip right through, revealing him to be a hologram, fizzing on and off after being touched, which freaks both me and Charlie out.
"Hah! I fuckin' got you guys!" Adam shouted. Adam turns to Lute. "Did you see that?"
Lute nods once.
"Hah. Good shit." Adam said.
"I do not like this guy," I whispered into Charlie's ear. Charlie nods in agreement. Charlie was trying to get something straight with Adam being a hologram.
"Uh...so wait. You aren't here?" Charlie asked.
"No, you think I'd come down there?" Adam laughs before continuing. "No, I mean, I love the vibe, totally, I love your tunes. Pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong. But! It's such a bummer! Everything down there is just so "eugh", ya know? Ew."
"Right. So I'm happy we gotten this opportunity to meet. There's a project that Lana and I have been working on that we really want to talk to you about-" Charlie was cut off when Adam puts his finger on Charlie's lips to quiet her down for a moment.
"Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. We've got time. How about we get to know each other a little, hmm. How about lunch? You hungry? I got you." Adam said.
Adam takes his plate of rib's he's been eating towards me and Charlie.
"Here's my personal favorite. You'll love it." Adam said.
"Uh...thanks," Charlie said.
Charlie went to take a piece of rib, but her hand past right through them, also revealing to be a hologram, as they fizz off and on from the touch, and Adam laughed.
"I got you again, bitch!" Adam shouted while laughing. "Fuckin' hilarious!"
Charlie makes a small unamused chuckle alongside Adam's hyper laughter. I did not laugh because I didn't find it amusing.
No POV:
Back at the Hazbin Hotel, the workers and residents are summoned by Vaggie to discuss their poorly misleading commercial. Angel is constantly looking at Husk with seductive gaze while Husk is glaring daggers at him.
"Okay, so. Charlie and my daughter are dealing with something important, so while they're gone, we are making a new commercial. One that represents her version what we are doing here. So, we need a camera." Vaggie turns to Alastor. "Alastor?"
Alastor snaps his fingers to conjure up a camera for Vaggie; however, the camera is a folding-type old photography camera from the 1930s with no recording films at that time. Vaggie is unamused.
"A video camera?" Vaggie asked.
"Hmmm," Alastor said.
Despite his extreme distaste for modern technology, Alastor adheres to Vaggie's request and snaps his fingers again, conjuring up a video camera that's poorly used with pieces of tape stuck together.
"Alright! Let's do this!" Vaggie said.
The camera switches into the point of view of the video camera recording the bar scene, with Husk behind the counter reading a script in his claws and Angel Dust sitting on a bar stool. The camera whirrs as it brings the two into focus.
"And… Action!" Vaggie shouted.
Husk carefully reads the lines on his script, bringing the script closer to read.
"Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel. Can I help you with anything?" Husk said.
"I've been a bad boy, and I need a big, strong daddy to put me in my place…on the path to redemption!" Angel said.
Husk groans with displeasure and read the script again.
"Well, you come—" Husk was cut off by Angel.
"Oh, yes!" Angel moans.
…" to the right place." Husk said in a board voice.
Vaggie has had it and stops recording.
"Cut! Okay, Angel, I need you to be less horny if possible, and Husk, can you maybe not have the script in front of your face?" Vaggie said, annoyed.
"I ain't no actor! I can't memorize this shit!" Husk said angrily.
"Well, we could improv this shit, baby cakes," Angel said. He gets closer to Husk's face. "Rrawwr." He purrs seductively.
Husk gets irritated by Angel Dust and shoves him off the counter painfully hard.
"Whoops," Husk said. Husk grabs a bottle and drinks it.
"Husk, come on," Vaggie said, annoyed.
Lana's POV:
The meeting continues with Adam. I mostly let Charlie and Adam do the talking. I chimed in every once in a while, but to be honest, the meeting was getting to be boring. And Adam was a jerk. Charlie looks board too, propping herself on her elbows while listening to Adam exaggeratingly boasting about himself and his sex life.
"So, I was playin' this gig, and for some fuckin' reason, this virtue chick was diggin' on the drummer, and it's like, "Do you know who I am? I'm fuckin' Adam. I'm the original dick!" Adam is pointing to his penis down the table. "All dicks descend from me. You think you want drummer dick?" Lute is shaking her head. "No way! I'm the Dick-fuckin' master!" Adam eats a mouthful of ribs sloppily. "So, anyway, then we fucked, and it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?"
"Wait, your name is Adam? Like, the first man, Adam, that means... Oh..." Charlie said. Charlie puts the pieces together, realizing this is the reason why my grandmother left him, making her wince.
"That explains so much," Charlie said in a low voice.
"I know. I fucking rock." Adam said. Adam holds up his hand in the sign of horns.
Charlie brushes off the awkwardness from Adam.
"Mom, aren't we gonna talk to him about our project?" I asked Charlie.
"Oh, right!" Charlie said.
Charlie quickly gets to our subject in matter of hand.
"Well, Adam, sir. Mr. Adam, sir." Charlie said.
"Call me dickmaster." Adam said with a smirk. I nearly gagged at his comment.
"Adam. You seem like a smart-" Charlie pauses before continuing. "...well. Stand-up guy."
"Uh-huh," Adam said while picking his teeth.
"And I know you are the leader of the angels. And you are a big thinker, a revolutionary, A- a genius!" Charlie said.
"I mean your words, babe," Adam said.
"Who would really love to put his name on something," Charlie said.
"Fuckin' love putting my name on shit! Shit's the best!" Adam shouted.
"It's a solution to our biggest problem!" I said.
"Oh, herps. Yeah, that's a bitch." Adam said.
"No! Our... other biggest problem." I said.
"Oh... uh... ugly people? Math? Global warming? Nah, wait, that's Earth's problem." Adam said. "Umm..."
Charlie and I shared glances, then we stare at Adam with deadpan annoyance at how ignorant he is.
No POV:
Back at the hotel, Niffty tries to stab a bug. She tries to stab the bug, but misses, and starts stabbing the bug multiple times before Vaggie stops her.
"Stab! Stab! Stab!" Niffty shouted.
"Alright Niffty, Niffty. Niffty! Your line is "We have the cleanest rooms", okay?" Vaggie said.
"Got it. I'm ready." Niffity said.
Vaggie turns the camera to Niffty.
"Action!" Vaggie shouted.
Upon saying action, instead of saying the line, Niffty freezes and stares blankly at the camera without a breath or blinking from the scene. Vaggie lowers the camera, looking puzzled. Angel also peers in. Close up on Niffty making a blank stare with an ominous shrinking pupil. Angel slowly backs away, already creeped out.
"Uhh, cut," Vaggie said.
Niffty snaps out of it and back to her cheerful self. Niffty giggles. "How was that?" Niffty asked.
"Well, Niffty, you actually have to say the line, so let's roll again," Vaggie said.
"Ok!" Niffty said.
"Action!" Vaggie shouted.
Niffty freezes again, leaving Vaggie irritated, as Angel comes close to her face.
Angel smugs. "You're doing great, Vagina." He whispers.
"Cut! Alright, uhh… maybe we can try to… fix it in post," Vaggie said, now irritated.
"Do you even know what that means?" Angel asked.
"I'll figure it out!" Vaggie yelled angrily.
In a dark room, Vaggie sitting in front of a broken TV, watching the poorly edited shots of the commercial. She groans with frustration before Alastor enters the room.
"Seems like you're having a bit of a trouble there, hmm?" Alastor said.
"Ugh, este pendejo (this asshole)... Why are you even here?" Vaggie demanded. Alastor takes a seat on a couch next to her.
"For the entertainment," Alastor said. Alastor's shadow slips out of his form before reappearing behind the couch, making laughing gestures.
"I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and." Alastor's shadow disappears. "Fail spectacularly, like you are doing now. Good job!"
Vaggie, getting ticked off by Alastor and his carefree insults, stands up and turns the camera toward him.
Vaggie points the camera to Alastor. "And here is Alastor, the egocentric piece of shit that—"
As Vaggie is panning the camera scene up to Alastor's face, the video camera glitches violently from green to red and Vaggie freaks out, dropping the sparking camera onto the floor.
"UGH!" Vaggie cried.
"I wouldn't try that, my dear," Alastor said, pointing to his face. "This face was made for radio."
As Alastor explains, his pupils turn into the shape of radio dials, and the scene goes nearly static before fixing itself back to normal on Vaggie. She has had it with Alastor's insults and walks up to him.
"That's it. I don't care who or what you are. If you're staying here, you're going to make this work, because it won't be so" Vaggie stops to mimick Alastor's voice. "entertaining" Vaggie goes back to her normal voice. "To watch over an empty hotel, will it, shitass?"
As Vaggie returns to her chair, Alastor watches her with narrowed eyes.
Alastor shrugs. "Fair enough," Alastor said and approached her. "I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal."
"Pfft, you think I'm that stupid, making a deal with a demon like you?" Vaggie spat.
"Not for your soul, just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again." Alastor said.
Vaggie has second thoughts on letting Alastor do the work for her.
"Or…Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing. Your choice." Alastor said.
Vaggie glances away for a brief moment before making her decision. "Fine," Vaggie said. Vaggie sighed.
Vaggie picks up the camera and places it in Alastor's hand, where green energy skulls start swirling around it.
"Now then!" Alastor said.
Alastor evaporates the camera with a clap of his hand, then snaps his fingers, conjuring equipment for a film set, summoning Angel Dust, Husk, and Niffty, and dressing up everyone in the Roaring Twenties. Ink demons are conjured up as additional film crew members.
"Alright everyone, let's make a fucking commercial," Vaggie said with her newfound confidence.
Lana's POV:
Charlie looks exasperated with another of Adam's sexist rants of women and his masculinity.
"You know when you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check but you're like." Adam changes to his high-pitched voice. "Hey, I thought you wanted equality."
"NO! Our shared problem of overpopulation in Hell!" Charlie shouted.
"Yeah, dickhead! That's the whole point of this meeting." I said as I crossed my arms impatiently. Charlie nudges me on the shoulder.
"Ohh," Adam said. Adam pauses then laughs. "Well, that's not a problem! We got that covered!" Adam turns to Lute. "Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?"
"Got a good 275 this year, sir," Lute said.
"275! Woah! Awesome job, dangerous tits! Pound it!" Adam shouted.
"That's not something to be proud of," I said.
"Um, no. Lana's right. Not awesome. Those are our people. You know that, right?" Charlie said.
"Oh, yeah. That must suck for you!" Adam shouted. Adam bursts into laughter. I growled, my face turning red with anger. Charlie puts her hands on my shoulders to calm me down. I took a deep breath and sat back down.
"But these are souls... human souls just the same as the ones you have in Heaven," Charlie said.
"They are not the same. They had their chance and they earned damnation." Lute said coldly.
"You're wrong. Sinners made mistakes, sure, but everyone makes mistakes." Charlie said.
"Angels don't make mistakes," Lute said.
"You really think that?" Charlie said.
"I know that," Lute said.
"Yeah, I never made a mistake in my fuckin' life," Adam said.
As Lute comes around the table, the scene turns slightly darker with ominous red.
"The only reason you're still here is because daddy gave you and your hellborn kind a pardon from an exorcist blade. How does that feel, to know how little you matter?" Lute said.
"Oops, almost out of time. Guess we should get into it." Adam said.
"Oh, fuck!" Charlie shouted.
I laughed nervously before Charlie and I rushes to present our plan as fast we can, summoning a stack of papers to the table.
"Okay, We've got a lot to get through and not a lot of time, and I feel like you weren't hearing me before, so here it goes." Charlie clears her throat and begins singing.
Charlie: I know Hell's population is out of control.
It's a bad situation.
It's taking a toll.
If we rehab these Sinners.
And cleanse all their souls.
At my Hazbin Hotel—
Charlie puts down the drawings she's holding and reaches for another.
Charlie: Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!
Right! Extermination!
I know you guys fly down.
Just to kill once a year.
And it must be annoying.
To schlep all the way here.
If they join you in Heaven.
That trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell.
(deep breath) It'll be a happy day in—
Adam: Let me stop you right there.
Charlie: "Oh—"
Adam: Save us all precious time.
Charlie: "Okay..."
Adam: If what you're suggesting.
Is letting them climb.
Up the ladder.
Oh, they'd rather cross the Pearly Gates?
Charlie: "Well, uh—"
Adam: Sorry, sweetie. But there's no defyin' their fates!
'Cause Hell is forever.
Whether you like it or not.
Had their chance to behave better.
Now they boil in the pot.
'Cause the rules are black and white.
There's no use in tryin' to fight it.
They're burnin' for their lives.
Until we kill 'em again!
Charlie: "Okay, but—"
Adam: Just try to chillax, babe.
You're wasting your breath.
Charlie: "Hehe..."
Adam: Did I hear you imply.
That they don't deserve death?
Are they Winners?
Are they Sinners?
'Cause it's cut and dry.
Charlie: "Well, actually, if you take a look—"
Adam: Fair is fair, an eye for an eye!
And when all's said and done (Said and done)
There's the question of fun (Fun)
And for those of us with Divine Ordainment.
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-nownow
Guitar solo, fuck yeah!
Adam sings guitar solo
Charlie gets up after being knocked down by Adam. I step in to protect her but Adam too pushes me down.
Charlie: "Ugh..."
Charlie helps me up again.
Adam: Hell is forever.
Whether you like it or not.
Had their chance to behave better.
Four golden mirages of Exorcists appear, surrounding Charlie and me from all sides.
Charlie: "Where the hell did you people come from?!"
Now they boil in the pot.
'Cause the rules are black and white.
There's no use in tryin' to fight it.
They're burnin' for their lives.
Until we kill 'em again!
Fuckin' Hell is forever.
And it's meant to suck a lot.
So give up your dumb endeavor.
'Cause you don't have a shot!
Charlie gets so angry that she turns into her demon form, making a growling noise as she burns the paper she's holding. My eyes widened, knowing shit's gonna go south quick.
Long as I've got your attention.
I guess I should probably mention.
That we've made the determination.
To move up the next Extermination!
Lana: "Dude, what the fuck?!"
He brandishes a scroll reading "FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT!"
Charlie: "What?!"
Adam: Can't wait a whole year.
To slaughter those little cunts.
I know it's just been a week.
But we'll be back in six months!
Despite being a hologram, Adam grabs Charlie and me and throws us right out of the door. Lute throws Charlie's papers after her.
"Um, wait, you-you—" Charlie cried.
As Charlie tries to get to Adam, the door slowly closes while he continues to do a guitar solo shredding. It fully closes before she can reach him.
Charlie tears up. "Ugh, SHIT!" Charlie cried.
Defeated, Charlie slams a fist on the door. I was so angry right now that I kicked the door with my foot.
"FUCK!" I yelled, grabbing my foot in pain.
I began to cry. Charlie went over to comfort me. "They moved up the Extermination... Mom, what do we do?" I said in between sobs.
"I... I don't know. But don't worry sweetie, we will figure this out." Charlie said, hugging me.
"What are we gonna tell Mother and our friends?" I asked. Charlie stayed silent at my question, her face blank. Suddenly, I had an idea. I was gonna try to negotiate with Adam one more time. Surely he has to agree to something.
Charlie started walking away but stopped when she noticed I was still standing at the door. "Lana? Are you coming?" Charlie asked.
"You go on ahead. I need to do something first. I'll meet you at home." I said.
"Oh, okay," Charlie said.
When Charlie left, I nervously opened the doors again. "Adam? Are you still here?" I called.
Adam appeared in front of me. I got startled again. "Ahah! I got you again! What do you want, bitch? I already threw you and your mother out a few seconds ago." Adam said. Adam looked annoyed but I didn't care.
"Can we please... negotiate again? Find an agreement?" I asked.
"There's nothing to negotiate. My decision is final." Adam said.
"Please... surely there has to be something you want. I'll do anything!" I shouted. Adam turned his head towards me with interest.
"What did you say?" Adam asked.
"I'll do anything!" I shouted.
"Anything?" Adam said with a smirk.
"YES!" I screamed.
Adam lifts my chin up, making me look into his eyes. "Okay, then. I want you to be my wife." Adam said.
My eyes widened with shock. "W-What?" Was all that came out of my mouth. I was hoping I heard him wrong.
"Yeah, ya heard me. Be my wife, and make me change my mind. If you pleasure me and satisfy me with all my needs then I will cancel the Extermination." Adam said.
"Of all people, why do you want to marry me?" I asked.
"You're the daughter of Lucifer's bitch, Charlie. Lucifer stole both of my wives. It's the least he could do to make it up to me. Having a member of the royal family taking my hand in marriage." Adam said. Adam backed me into the wall, getting dangerously close to me. He put his hands in between me with his body pinning me. "Be careful of your decision, babe. Might have to move up the Extermination if you say something to piss me off." Adam said, his voice low and dangerous.
"I..." I stuttered, my mind wrapped up in emotions. Adrenaline rushed through my body. If I accept his proposal, then my freedom would be taken away. I would be his forever. But then there would be a chance of the Extermination not happening.
Adam slammed his hands on the walls, startling me. "Well, what's it gonna be? Don't keep me waiting." Adam said.
"I'll marry you," I said. I can't believe I just said that.
Adam got off of me. Adam cheered at my answer. "Fuck yeah!" Adam yelled. "By the way, the wedding will be in 2 months. I'll send you all the information you need."
Adam slipped a ring on my finger, marking me as his. "2 months, babe. Prepare yourself." Adam said. With that, Adam disappeared.
I sank to the ground in despair. I let out some cries of agony. How was I going to face my mom's and my friends now?
I walked outside with tears streaming down my face. I looked at my wedding ring on my finger and started singing.
Lana: It starts
With the unexpected loss
Of something dear
The warmth
That comforted and cradled
Just disappears
And in its place there's nothing
Just an endless empty hole
The light that showed the way is gone
And darkness takes control
Bitterness and anger
Are quick to fill the void
The path to isolation
Is littered with the dreams that lay destroyed
The cold
Seems to grow in my soul
It's consuming me
Confused
And I'm losing myself
In the storm
Growing jaded
Being pushed being pulled
I'm unraveling
Can't find myself when I'm
Constantly forced to conform
Enemies surround me but
The worst appear as friends
Liars and pretenders
Only seek to reach their ends
Everything is breaking
Right before my eyes
Looking in the mirror
I see someone that I don't recognize
The joy
That my heart used to know
Is eluding me
Removed
And the one thing I feel is alone
Smile's faded
And I'm spinning and sinking
I'm weakening
Frozen in solitude
Loneliness chills to the bone
Memories escaping
As my heart begins to drain
Scars that cover wounds
Can't hide the self-inflicted pain
Everything my mind wants
In conflict with my heart
Fighting back surrender
But every day I'm falling more apart
Mirror what's this thing I see?
Who is staring back at me?
A stranger to my heart has filled my mind
Mirror
Help me
Who am I?
I was so wrapped up in my singing that I didn't realize I was at the Hotel. I sighed before walking in the Hotel. Angel looked at me as I slumped on the couch.
"Geez Lana you look like shit. What happened?" Angel said.
"Nothing," I said.
Angel notices the wedding ring on my finger. "Holy shit, is that a wedding ring?!" Angel shouted. I quickly hid my finger in my lap.
"No!" I shouted. I didn't want to tell anyone about my recent engagement. I looked at Husk who was standing at the bar. "I need a drink. The strongest one you got." I said.
Husk sighed before handing me one of his strongest drinks. I took a few shots at it, hoping to forget about everything that happened. After I finished my drink, I basically dragged myself to my room and threw myself onto my bed. KeeKee suddenly jumped in my arms, startling me a bit. I gave a small smile and petted her fur.
I was about to go to sleep when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in?" I said. Charlie entered my room with a look of concern on her face.
"Lana... are you okay?" Charlie asked me.
"No..." I said.
Charlie sits down next to me. "Were you able to negotiate with Adam on an agreement?" Charlie asked.
"Sort of..." I stuttered. I took a deep breath, then spoke up. "Mom... I... I... I'm marrying Adam."
Charlie's face turned white when I said that. "What?!" Charlie shouted.
"Adam made a deal with me. If I marry him and if I satisfy his needs, then he would cancel the Extermination." I said.
"Oh... when is the wedding?" Charlie asked.
"In two months. I'm supposed to live with him in Heaven." I said.
Charlie's face was full of worry and concern. Charlie pulled me into a tight hug. I returned her hug. "Whatever happens, sweetie. I'm here for you. Both me and your mother." Charlie said.
"Thanks," I said. "Did the others know that the Extermination moved up?"
"Yeah. It was on the news earlier." Charlie said.
"Also, Mom. Can you do me a favor and not tell anyone? I don't want the word spreading. I'm okay with you telling Mother, but not anyone else, please. Just keep it between the three of us." I said.
"Sure," Charlie said.
Charlie was about to leave the room, but I called out to her. "Mom? Can you sit with me? At least until I fall asleep, please?" I asked.
"Of course," Charlie said.
I laid down in bed, pulling the blankets over me. Charlie sat down next to me. She rubbed my shoulders and whispered words of comfort to me. KeeKee cuddled next to me. In a few minutes, I fell asleep.
Adam's POV:
My mind was still processing the recent events that took place earlier. I am marrying the princess's bitch daughter, Lana in only two months. I am looking forward to this wedding. After all, it's the least Lucifer could do after stealing both of my previous wives. As I was still processing, a drone an area until it found a dead Exorcist corps with its head missing. The drone scans the corps.
"We found the body, sir. They never managed to kill one of us before. We should just go down there now and destroy them!" Lute shouted.
"No, no. We can't risk them catching on. Besides, I have a wedding in two months. But don't worry. When we come back there, there won't be a demon left alive to pull a stunt like this again. And the princess's daughter will pay the price for it!" I shouted.
I slammed my fist on the projector, destroying it and causing the light to disappear, leaving only my glowing evil smile.
A/N:
Hey everyone, welcome to the first chapter of this Hazbin Hotel story! I truly hope you enjoy reading it. I just finished watching the show and I'm obsessed with it now so I decided to write the story. I don't own Hazbin Hotel. I don't own any of the characters or the songs either. The only character I own here is Lana. I will do the next chapter for the story this weekend, I wanna work on my Harry Potter and Titanic story first before I post the next chapter for this story.
Again, I hope you all enjoy this story. Please follow, favorite, vote, and review! Thank you all and have a good day.
- Rosebuds722