AN: This story took place after volume 17
"Didn't you say that you had defeated the Demon King?"
As I was comfortably lying down on the sofa in front of the fireplace, Megumin asked this question.
"That's correct."
I continued patting Chomusuke, who also laid down beside me.
This cat has grown rapidly recently, although that growth was focused more on her belly.
"And with the Demon King gone, the monsters all around the world would grow weaker, right?"
"That's what I was told."
I respond without turning to Megumin and continue to brush Chomosuke's fur.
I was starting to expect that she would start turning into a catgirl when I first found out she had gained more weight.
But it seems that this cat was merely being too spoiled.
"So why are you holing up inside in the winter again?! Let's go outside and give those toads some retribution!"
Suddenly, this very emotionally unstable partner of mine had snatched my precious Chomusuke away from me.
"Oi! Give her back! Or I'll sue you for custody!"
"She is my familiar in the first place! What right do you even have to take her custody away from me?!"
Despite having leveled up tremendously after defeating the Demon King, for some reason Megumin is still much stronger than me and she easily repelled me away.
"And why are you so eager to go outside anyway?! Just because the monsters are weaker, doesn't mean the cold is any less a hindrance! What if I get a really bad cold and die?!"
Megumin, who had started playing with Chomosuke's bloated tummy, suddenly turned towards me with glowing eyes.
"This man! Yesterday you were reading those articles in the newspaper which were praising you as 'The Hero of Belzerg' and how children all over the kingdom had started to idolize you, then you said that you want to go out adventuring for the sake of 'returning to your roots'! What happened to that?!"
What happened is that after I had a good night's sleep and thought about it carefully, all of that started to matter less to me.
Why would I go out there, risking my life, for the sake of a bunch of children who I would probably never meet anyway?
However, before I could conjure up a comeback for Megumin, I could hear some hurried footsteps coming from the upper floor.
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san! Please talk some sense into that muscle-brained ojou-sama! She's spouting some really stupid stuff!"
Aqua, still clad in her pajamas, ran down the stairs with Emperor Zell on her head. Behind her, a muscle-brained ojou-sama followed.
"Stop calling me muscle-brained! And I was just waking you up to go adventuring!"
Aqua immediately hid behind me and starts pointing her finger at Darkness.
"That's a lie! When I elegantly refused, you threatened to throw a bucket of water on my bed, intending to accuse me of wetting the bed in my sleep! That's blasphemy!"
"That's not it! That's really not it! I was just trying to wake you up with cold water!"
"H-Hey! If you want to fight her, do it yourself! Don't use me as your shield!"
As I struggled to get Aqua away from me, Megumin started to approach Darkness. It seems that she grabbed her staff while I was not looking.
"Darkness, it's as expected. This man has already walked back on his words like the wimp he is."
"I see. I've grabbed the 'thing', so let's use plan B."
"Sure, but Aqua might overpower me if we were to fight head on, so I would like to handle the lazy NEET instead."
Such a menacing statement did not miss my ear.
I immediately stopped my struggle with Aqua, who seemed to have also overheard the conversation.
"Kazuma-san, Kazuma-san. Although my hearing is the most perfect in the world, but did these two truly plan to fight me, a goddess? Have they lost their mind?"
"I doubt that part about your hearing, but I agree. Just how delusional must these two be to think that they could take a legendary hero like me?"
While we were whispering to each other, Darkness and Megumin took a stance in front of us.
Darkness is unarmed, hiding her left hand behind her back, while Megumin swung her staff wildly before settling in a position resembling a baseball player.
"You two, please don't take this as a gesture of hostility between us. We are just merely trying to prove to the both of you that your idleness has taken a toll on your fighting capabilities."
"I'll bust your knee caps."
Even though they are on the same side, there is a large gap between how they're going to approach this fight.
"Aqua, cast some boosts on me. Let's teach these impudent fools a lesson."
"Right away! Have you come up with some dirty plan for this?"
Don't call it dirty.
As the two of them slowly approached us, Aqua and I also took our stance. In fact, our current position, whispering with each other while strong opponents were in front of us, kind of reminded me of something.
It was after I had been revived from a failed plan to assassinate the Demon King.
"Hey Aqua, do you remember that fight in the Demon King's castle?"
Aqua turned her head towards me with a dumbfounded look on her face. However she seems to finally understand what I'm referring to before long.
"I see, so you're going to use that flashy spell right? I understand, I will close my eyes right now, thanks for the heads up this time."
"No, I was reminiscing about that fight in the throne room! Also hurry up and open your eyes, I need you to hold back Darkness!"
The nostalgia I felt about our most memorable time as a duo was immediately ruined.
In order to recompose myself, I turn towards the other two.
"Do the two of you realize who you're dealing with? This is Satou Kazuma-sama, the heroic adventurer who single handedly defeated the Demon King! What could a sheltered ojou-sama and a middle-schooler even do to defeat me?!"
Seeing me hurling insults towards our opponents, Aqua immediately chimed in.
"That's right! The two of you have declared your hostility towards the Great Goddess of Water, Aqua sama! I will now lay a divine punishment upon you so that your warm bath water shall turn into cold water faster than usual!"
I failed to see the threat from such a lame punishment.
"I don't know what this 'middle-schooler' thing is, but I feel like I should be offended by it! You both really have been getting cocky recently, huh?! I shall enjoy every tear dropped from this battle today!"
"S-Stop calling me ojou-sama! That's it, I've tried to be civil and polite, but now I will show you the real power of The Shield of Belzerg!"
I dashed towards them, trying to take the initiative.
The battle began, now!
"Waaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Bwaaaaaah!"
The battle was over in an instant.
"No use crying now. We won, so now both of you should come adventure with us!"
Call it my mistake, it seems that I've grown to underestimate my opponents.
I have leveled up to an insane degree from the experience points I gathered from defeating the Demon King. And Aqua also has received her full goddess power after returning to heaven. So theoretically there should be no way we could lose, but...
"A-Aqua, can you stop crying now? The people on the street are starting to look at us in a weird way..."
Once the battle started, Darkness immediately pulled out the secret weapon they had planned to bring in advance, Aqua's precious bubbly. Using a bottle of liquor as their hostage, they easily knocked Aqua out of the battle.
I know I will never be able to best both of them at the same time, so I decided to use Drain Touch on Megumin. I managed to get behind her and reach out to her neck, only to find out that she had put Chomusuke there and thwarted my attempt to subdue her.
It didn't take long at all for the two of them to pounce on me.
In my defense, she had started to grow her hair out lately. So in the moment I could hardly differentiate Megumin's black hair and Chomusuke's black fur.
"What is it, Heroic Adventurer-sama? I have a feeling that you are currently crafting a revenge plan in your head."
Megumin said that as she poked my cheek with the tip of her staff.
She knew me well.
"Just you wait, when you least expect it, retribution will come. And by that time I wouldn't even care if you cry."
"Is that so? Then I guess I should cancel our date next week for my own safety..."
"... W-What? You really think that kind of a threat would scare me?"
Although, I'm really looking forward for that date.
Next week, Darkness said she would go back to her house since a couple of delegates from foreign countries had come asking for her hand in marriage. She already said that she would decline it, but as a noble she needs to at least show them proper courtesy.
Aqua also said that there would be a big party that would be held in the local Axis Church, and that she would be out attending that event for its entirety as she was invited as the guest of honour.
With that, Megumin and I would be the only ones left in the mansion, so we decided to plan a date.
It's really rare for the both of us to have a date that doesn't accidentally turn into a family picnic, so this is a golden opportunity.
But this kind of opportunity would come again in the future anyway, so it's fine.
...
I-It's fine, right?
...
...
Is it too late to prostrate myself and ask for forgiveness?
"Open up! Open up! You wretched parasite that relishes in human anguish, the water goddess Aqua sama has blessed your pathetic existence with her presence. So open up!"
My train of thought was abruptly broken by Aqua's incessant screaming.
We are currently in front of Wiz's store. Even though we're not planning to go on a long adventure, it's still better to have someone to at least look after Chomusuke. Zell is a special case, since that chicken has somehow gained a monster repellant trait with the massive amount of mana it has.
A hurried footstep could be heard coming from inside the store, before the front door opened slowly. From behind it, we could see a beaming Wiz with a smile on her face.
"Aqua-sama, and everyone too! It's been so long since you last visited. Please come in, I will grab the tea and snacks."
Aqua already walked inside even before Wiz finished her sentence. The three of us entered the store once invited, and we found Aqua already sitting on her favorite seat by the window. Megumin and Darkness took their seats next to her.
Like Wiz said, it's been a while since we last visited this store. So I decided to check around the merchandise on the shelves. It's not like I would buy any of them knowing this store's particular reputation but I couldn't help but be curious.
"By the way, where is Vanir?"
"Vanir-san and Zereschrute-san left yesterday to meet an important person in the capital. They should be coming back soon."
Important person, huh? I wonder who that could be...
From what I heard from my acquaintances in the guild, it seems like that weird devil had taken an important role in the defense of the town during the battle against the Demon King army.
While most of Axel's garrison consisted of local adventurers and armed townfolks, there some men were sent by nearby towns adventurer's guild.
One of those helpers might have reported the sight of a former Demon King General actively helping to protect the town, which would have gained the attention of nobles and other high ranking officials.
It seems that crow-slaying devil has gotten some extra weight on his shoulders now.
For all I know, he might be meeting with the King right now.
But if that's so, it's nothing to worry about. The King is a wise man with a good head on his shoulders, since he hadn't ordered my execution after witnessing Iris talk to him using those gamer slangs I taught her.
"Nee, nee Wiz. What is that?"
I turn my attention to Aqua, who is now fixated upon a single jar placed on the highest selves. It contained a weird blue colored liquid which was moving in a way that made it seem really sticky and jelly-like.
"Ah! That is the newest product we have. It's really popular among the housewives."
Darkness stood up and grabbed the jar, inspecting its content without opening the lid. Both Megumin and Aqua stood by her to also watch the weird liquid moving around, almost being mesmerized by it. Megumin asked curiously.
"What does this do?"
"It's a mutated slime that was found living in the Fountain of Youth. It can release a small amount of rose-smelling gas that if inhaled could make customers look younger!"
"Slime—?! Please, can you sell this to me? And also, please tell me how to feed it!"
Woah, haven't seen that one in a while.
"I wouldn't recommend opening the jar Darkness san…."
As Darkness continued to pester Wiz, Megumin grabbed the jar from her.
"I thought the Fountain of Youth was just a myth created by desperate unmarried old women. Is this really not a scam?"
"No, no, of course it's real Megumin! Do you see the color of that slime? It shares the same beautiful blue color as my hair, me, the Water Goddess! Only divinely blessed waters like that so-called Fountain of Youth's could produce such an effect on a slime!"
Is that true?
Is there a way for me to fact check this?
"Younger look... I could get a younger look..."
For some reason Darkness is repeatedly stealing glances at me while saying that.
Oi, what does she mean by that?
Why does that make me feel inexplicably offended?
While all of this was going on, the door to the store opened.
"Shopkeeper-dono, we're back—"
"Sacred Highness Exorcism!"
"Piyaaa!"
The former noble who had become this store's mascot is now gone, in his place was a penguin suit laying flat on the ground.
"Why is that rabid woman here?!"
And right behind him is a livid Duke of Hell.
"I noticed an awful stench coming in, so I just blasted my magic."
"Brat who has lost all of his credibility as the hero of this land and is more commonly called loiter by the townsfolk, Moi ask you to put a leash on this troublesome goddess so she would stop coming to the store!"
"Right, spill out the name of those people who were badmouthing me. It's about time I settle things with them."
With a heavy sigh, Vanir began to work on reviving the penguin. It didn't take long before the suit started inflating with life again.
Vanir told him to work in the back as to get him away from Aqua's radar.
"So where have the two of you been?"
"Moi was asking a certain granddaughter of a chirimen restaurant owner for a favor."
What the hell is a chirimen restaurant?
Though considering this world, the chirimen I knew might simply be different than this world's.
"Speaking of which, brat who is still regretting his answer to the crazy girl earlier, moi has a preposition for you."
"Wha— I'm not— Stop reading my mind!"
From the corner of my eye, I could see a smirk developing on Megumin's face.
I will make sure to drop her by a toad when we come back from today's quest.
"... I'm telling you this beforehand, but I'm economically very secured right now."
"Worry not! Moi assures you that this will serve your interest well! Let's talk about this outside."
Once we were removed from the ruckus inside the store, Vanir started telling me about his ordeal in the capital the day prior.
It seems that my guess was right, he was meeting with the King.
During said meeting, the King had expressed that he wished to start integrating demonkind into human society.
Apparently the existence of this part-time working devil was enough to convince the King that such an idea could work.
"There are a lot of intelligent monsters and demons that remain after the Demon King was defeated. They're severely weakened and by now are not considered a threat. But still, the king argued that it's best if they sided with you humans and coexist instead of fighting for survival every day and causing casualties on both sides."
That's true, the demons and monsters we faced seemed to have reasonable amounts of intelligence so this could work.
The King argued that their integration would help the nation recover, especially now that the vast alliances against the Demon King are starting to fall apart.
But the problem is how he would convince and gather public support for such an endeavor.
So the King asked Vanir for help.
And the solution he came up with was the succubi.
Those kind-hearted succubus that run a lovely cafe in Axel have managed to develop a friendly relation with the locals, to the point where they'll fight tooth and nail to protect them. They hope to recreate the same thing in the capital.
But since the succubi of Axel operate under the guise of running a secluded cafe, the capital must provide the same guise too while slowly making people more comfortable with monsters they were fighting with just some time ago.
And this scheming devil suggested to open a branch of the magic shop there.
"The succubi will operate as normal employees of the shop, while running their secret services in the background. What do you think?"
It sounds like a really solid plan, as a man I can only hope they succeed for the sake of my fellow brothers in the capital, but...
"I fail to see what I can do here."
"Moi only asks for permission to use your name to boost sales."
"... And what would I get from that?"
"A huge thank you from those lower demons, you would become well respected with the denizens of hell and when you eventually die and go to hell, everyone will treat you rather nicely."
"..."
"And a steady stream of income from your 15% ownership of that branch."
I didn't care too much about most of those benefits and the slight indication I'm going to end up in hell, but that last part doesn't sound so bad. So it's like one of those investment thingies...
"How about 30%?"
"Too much, Moi also has a shop to run, so it should be 20%."
"25%, final offer."
"Deal! Pleasure doing business with you!"
Vanir's booming laugh soon followed his words. The way he didn't haggle below 25% makes me suspicious, but it's not like I need that much money now.
I will make sure to visit that shop tonight to receive my reward and further my business ventures.
Recently, I've been looking forward a lot to what the future holds.
My relationship with Megumin is developing in a nice pace. The reward from defeating the Demon King ensure that I would never get into debt again. And I'm currently experiencing a level of popularity I have never even dreamt of.
If I could say anything, it's that I hope this state of serenity could last fore—
Suddenly, a really strong gust of wind started to blow and when I looked at where it was coming from, the front door of Wiz's shop was flung open with a thick mist of blue.
Along with the mysterious mist, Wiz came out with tears in her eyes.
"Kazuma-san! Vanir-san! We have a big problem!"
... Eris-sama, why are you so cruel to me?
We quickly rushed inside the store, which for some reason was filled with the smell of roses.
My eyes were quickly pulled into one— no, three shadows within that mist filled room.
"Dustiness-sama, please wear this cloak while I find suitable clothing for you. Ah, Crimson Demon girl! Stop trying to open my zipper— Piyaaaa!"
The penguin was surrounded by three familiar-looking kids. I looked around and noticed their original clothes were laying flat on the ground. My party members' clothes.
"W-What happened here?"
Seriously...
Wasn't I supposed to be lucky?!
Another AN: Thank you for everyone that been reading this story. It's my first ever fanfic, tho not the first thing I ever wrote. I tried to write this story in a way that resembles the original as much as I can, this includes canons and even Akatsuki's writing style. And such, I'm open for all kind of suggestions and criticism, especially on the characters.
Special thanks to Goku0 for the help on constructing this script and proofreading.