Another au chapter! remember folks, every 15 chapters you get one. last time we saw if heaven got to iruma first... now lets see what happens when somone else in hell got to him
Teien smiled as the circle around the swan began to glow. "It's working, honey! It's actually working!" Originally, they were planning on eating the bird and selling the feathers for money, but a tradeoff for having all the money they could ever need at their fingertips was good, too.
"We're going to get a demon for money!" Her husband shouted with glee. A magic book that allowed anyone to summon demons... incredible! Now, they would have a super-powerful entity on their side!
The bird cawed and cawed, its body bulging... exploding into a fountain of white, shimmering feathers, blood lightly raining down... as a gray skinned woman stood from within, standing on her toes with long heels, eyes filled with a glare. "What was..." She turned to them with a glare. "Who do you think you-" The woman bounced off the air itself. "What..." She looked down at the pepper circle. "What is this!?"
"It actually worked!" Haichi smiled, hugging Teien. "We summoned a demon!"
"All of our dreams will finally come true!" No more work... or rather, no more having to rely on their little money maker to provide more money for them with various jobs. He wouldn't mind being sold to a demon. After all, a child's purpose in life was to make their parents happy and absolutely nothing else. She didn't have to do it because her parents died early, lucky her!
"I demand an explanation, swine!" The woman shouted.
"Yes, yes, terribly sorry." She smiled. "I'm Teien Suzuki. This is my husband, Haichi. We found a book on summoning demons and used it to make a deal. And we got you!"
"You… summoned me.." The tall demon lady looked around suspiciously. "This doesn't look like any part of the pentagram I've visited… the air's too clean, and there's no blood anywhere…" She gazed upon them, looking intently at their faces or, apparently, their skin. "Your bodies... They look… human."
"Because we are." Haichin grinned. "Welcome to Earth, Ms. Demon Lady."
The woman's eyes widened as she gasped. "I'm back... But… that shouldn't be possible. I'm not supposed to…" She pressed against the invisible barrier. "This isn't right. Have you summoned me here!?"
"Do you have a hearing problem?" Teien asked. "We just said we summoned you to make a deal, just like the book said we could!" She smiled. "You know, like endless riches? Is that within your power?"
"...You wish to bargain with a demon?" The lady looked at them with suspicion and disbelief.
"Well, yes. We did this half expecting it to fail. But now that it worked, in for a yen, in for a buck." Her husband grinned. "So, can you do that?"
"... Yes, it is within my power to make deals." The demon lady glared at them. "But seeing as your time in the living world has yet to pass, I should be remiss if I didn't warn you about the consequences of such a bargain."
"Oh, don't worry, we can pay the price." She smiled. "We can just sell our son's soul."
The woman paused again, her scowling red eyes widening before narrowing. "You wish… to bargain… your child's life?"
"Of course! We want money, and it's his job to provide for us!" Haichi nodded excitedly.
"If you did this, then his soul would belong to me. He would automatically go to Hell."
"Yes. Isn't that what selling a soul to a demon means?" she asked.
"We're talking about Hell, objectively the WORST place in the universe!"
"But you're giving us money, so it balances out that we can't use him anymore." Haichi pointed out the easy gain.
"You'd NEVER see him again."
"... So are we going to do this, or should we try a different demon?" This was beginning to take a while.
"... Qué coña, cómo soy yo el demonio aquí?" The demon muttered something in what sounded like a demonic language. "We can make a deal... just... let me work out the paperwork for you to sign." The woman glared at them as she turned around, a silvery piece of paper floating in the air.
"Oooh, shiny." Teien awed at the sight. "Pretty lights."
"Cómo diablos no han muerto ya estos dos?" The woman muttered again. After a few minutes, they folded it into a single stack. "Sign here, here, here, and here." She gestured to a few pages, handing them a pen.
"Really, no blood oath or anything?"
"Not for a transaction like this, no." She stated. "I believe in a higher class of deal-making."
"Sounds good to me!" Haichi began signing away. "And there's no underhanded clause here that's going to bite us in the back later, right?"
"...No. You'll get exactly what you deserve." The woman nodded.
"Excellent!" Teien deserved all the riches the world had to offer, after all. She signed all the spots one after the other.
"Espero que te marquen con hierros calientes en el cuando mueras... " The demon muttered in that weird tongue before pulling the papers away.
"So... how long until we get our money?" Teien asked.
"Never." The woman unfolded her arms and crossed them.
"... Huh?" Haichi asked. "What... what do you mean?"
"That wasn't a contract for money, Idiota. That contract was a transaction for you to lose everything of value."
"But... but you said-"
"Exactly what you two deserve. And for two parents without any care for their child... you signed away every object you owned to me... save for the pen in your hand." The walls began to melt away. The expensive vases… The golden forks… all began disappearing.
"No… No. No!" Teien shouted. "Give it back!"
"I can't. The deal has been set." The very roof of the house vanished into thin air. "You two will live your life on the streets for however long you have left on this plane of existence. Every piece of money and valuables you'll own in the future will vanish into thin air, you will wear nothing but the rags you find in the garbage, and your food will barely be fit for a dog to eat." Their own clothes began to vanish into fluffs of feathers. "But you have a pen. Take comfort in that."
"This wasn't what we wanted!" Haichi shouted in rage.
"Ustedes, idiotas, son tan codiciosas, you didn't even bother reading the fine print." The gray-skinned demon showed off the contract.
"Because you wrote it in a demonic language!" She screamed.
"And you're so ignorant you can't even tell when someone's speaking fucking Spanish." Flames began consuming the woman. "It seems that I'll be leaving this plane of existence as well..."
"You BITCH!" Haichi tried to punch the woman… but the invisible barrier was still up, reflecting the man's punch in the face. "AGGGH! HOAR!"
"And not that you'll be wondering…but I'll make sure your child is well taken care of." She grinned. "Nice home in a mansion, gourmet meals, the finest clothes, you know, everything you'll never have again."
"You're not even gonna USE him properly!?" What an absolute outrage. "What kind of woman are you!?"
"What kind of woman am I?" The demon lady grew twice in size... Her eyes and very aura convey dominance, control, death, and absolution. "I am a mother, unlike you, Puta. A mother who knows what it means to look after someone under your care." The world seemed to bow in respect to the bitch, even as she vanished. "And if it wasn't for this damned barrier... I would have murdered you on the FUCKING spot. And believe me… when you get to Hell, that WILL be the case."
The flames finally died down, leaving her and her husband... naked and unsheltered... with no money to spend... "FUUUUUUCCCK!" She shouted in the air. "This is all your fault!"
"My fault!?" Haichi yelled. "You're the one who suggested a swan!"
"You're the one that found the stupid book to begin with!"
"Well, you're the stupid one for not learning Spanish!"
"You didn't know it either!"
"Because I don't like Mexican food!"
"That's no excuse for being a dumbass!"
"Well, you married me, so who's the bigger dumbass there!?" Why the fuck did everything have to fall apart like this!?
Carmine gazed at the book in her hand as she returned to her own realm. "Satanic rituals and bargaining for dummies'..." She'd save that for a rainy day. Right now, she has a more important matter to focus on.
"Mom!" Clara shouted as she and Odette ran to her. "What happened!? You vanished in a flash and-!"
"I'll explain in detail tonight. I have an important meeting to attend and need privacy. Clara, check our account's new balances. Odette, read this book thoroughly before putting it in the vault."
"Satanic rituals for, why is… Is this from Earth?" Odette questioned as she flipped through the pages.
"Like I said, I will explain in detail tonight. Right now, I need to be alone, understood?"
"Y-yeah, yes, mom." Clara nodded as she scrolled through her phone. "Whoa, that's half a billion extra… What kind of soul was worth that much?"
"... An innocent one." One that would probably be very overwhelmed once they arrived... but given the alternative of being found by those parents again, probably needed this.
She made sure her daughters obeyed her instructions before going inside her room and locking the doors. This was a very unorthodox situation, one that she was still having a hard time believing… She was actually in the human realm… She was on Earth for the first time since she died… If only it wasn't soured by those bastards that dared claim themselves, parents.
If they could master that book, truly learn its ways... maybe there would be a way to return to their old life... away from extermination… they could live in peace… a dream she's wanted since her little blessings were brought into the world…
Carmila shook her head. The time to dream would have to wait for way, way, WAY later. Right now came a more important problem... Bracing herself, she pulled onto the contract, summoning the recipient... the child.
"Who-what-where?" The small, scared, blue-haired child looked around frantically, confusion and unease evident in his voice and eyes. "What just… What just happened!? There were those red guys. They were trying to shoot me… Then an Eyeball monster came and... Wait, wasn't I just on fire?" The child, with wide eyes of fear, anxiety, and innocence, looked around, frantic for an explanation, escape, or shelter.
Seriously, how low had Earth fallen for a child this innocent to have parents like that? "Greetings, young one." She drew his attention. "My name is Camilla Carmine."
"Um... okay." He shrank further. "… Iruma Suzuki?"
She smirked just a little bit. "Are you telling me your name or asking it?"
"... Telling. Sorry, it's just… been a bit crazy in the last year or so." The boy sighed. "I joined job after job, only for these giant red opossum people to come in and get me fired from each one. Then there was a flaming eyeball person and... then she... teleported... " He trailed off, staring out the window. "… Why is the sky red?"
Well, there was no beating around the bush with this. Might as well come out with it sooner rather than later. "What do you know about the afterlife, Young Suzuki?"
"You get hurt, you die, and then you enter an endless black void of non-existence. So you keep on living no matter how much it hurts 'cause the alternative is worse."
"... Not an unwise mentality to have." So young and yet already so cynical. "Unfortunately, it's not quite what you expect. You're in Hell. And I... am a demon."
He blinked. "… I... don't know if I have a concussion or not." The boy winced. "I feel dizzy... I don't usually feel dizzy, but I feel dizzy… Is there someplace I can sit down?"
"Please, take the bed." She waved off.
"Okay." There seemed to be a slight shift in his mood as he moved to the piece of furniture. "A real bed... Wow, it's been years since I've sat in one of these… this must be one strong concussion."
"… You've never sat on a bed?" She questioned.
"Rent's too expensive for an apartment. So I had to make do with newspaper and leaves." He responded as if it was normal. "… This feels shockingly real... Oh god, this is real." He muttered. "Did I not do enough good in life? Or was it because I was an atheist? There was just no proof I could see in front of me, or was the fact life existed proof enough…"
"Sssh, calm down, calm down." Carmilla placed her hand on his chest and allowed him to breathe slowly. "I assure you it's nothing like that… the answer, though, is a bit more complicated." And cruel. "Your parents sold your soul to me."
"What? That's not possible- What am I talking about? That's completely in character." Even he wasn't that blind, it seemed. "… So... what now?" He asked hesitantly. "You set me on fire or..."
"… What do you think demons are?" She questioned.
"Until today? Red pitchfork-wielding creatures that like pain and fire." He nodded but blinked. "...Wait a minute, that perfectly describes those red Opossum people! No wonder they never left me alone. They were probably sent to torture me for laughs."
Red opossums basically described how most people saw imps… Imps on Earth… She would make a mental note to remember that tidbit later. "Demons are much more… layered than that, which is a byproduct of Hell's growing environment." She pointed to the outside city. "There are those that, yes, like to spread fire and pain, but more often than not, you'll find someone out there that just wants to live their lives as peacefully and quietly as possible."
"Okay... so you got me for slave labor then." The boy nodded. "Workable. Nothing I haven't been through before."
"No, child, that's not what I've brought you here…" She sighed. "Your parents wanted to sell you for money... and they offended me... so I tricked them into losing everything they own when they made the contract for your soul."
"… To use me for something, right?" He asked, sounding almost confused.
"No, that's not it at all." Of course, a life pounded by cruelty wouldn't respond well to kindness. "You can live the rest of your life in comfort without ever having to worry about them again."
"... I... I don't buy it." The young Suzuki shook his head. "There's always a price for sincerity. Nobody is kind to anyone without some kind of caveat to be made or a limit to be met." The boy winced.
"That's not sincerity you're talking about. That's emotional abuse."
"That's life." He countered. "You want something, you give something. You don't get money without jobs. You don't get food without hunting for it. You don't get hugs without doing what your parents ask. It's just something that happens anywhere on the planet to anyone you ask."
"Child, please listen to me when I say this…" She placed a hand on his shoulder as she looked into his eyes… those hurt and beaten-down eyes. "I am a mother of two, and I can assure you, no good parent does what yours have done to you. I love my daughters more than anything in this life, or any life, and my love for them is not a caveat, or reward, or a carrot to dangle in front of them. I love them because I love them. And that is the minimum any decent parent should do."
"Then... But...if that's true… then… Then I just got bad parents… Parents that didn't love me… parents that I didn't need to prove anything to…" The boy's eyes began to water up. "Parent's I didn't… I didn't need to put up with just for a hug... "
She pulled the child into a small hug. "You need not worry, pequeño. You are safe now... you need not concern yourself with those awful people anymore." They'd die in their own time. And then she'll personally kick their heads off their shoulders the second they come to Hell. "You can trust me on that."
"... I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a good person… but… maybe I'm just not…" The boy curled up as he sniffed, pulling away. "I've never been able to trust anyone."
"… Then how about a job?" Carmilla offered the child, whose eyes perked up on hearing her. "Free room and food for metal work. Not many demons are willing to touch angelic steel."
"A factory job?" He questioned.
"In essence, yes." Carmilla nodded as she stood up. "My family runs a weapon manufacturing business, the most efficient and profitable one in Hell. And there are only so few that I can trust to handle the load." She made sure to emphasize. If she was going to help this child, then it would have to be a slow-burn acceptance. She'll have to let him come to terms with his situation on his own time. "You'll run deliveries to clients under the supervision of my daughters, and under my tutelage, you'll learn how to craft and manipulate the strongest resource Hell has to offer."
"Delivery and weapon making... I can do that." He nodded.
"Good. We'll start tomorrow. For now, get some rest." She told him.
"Understood." He stood up. "The backyard is fine for a makeshift tent, right?"
"…" She really wanted to slice those idiotas up with her heels... as slowly as possible. "We'll have a room set up for you in due time. For now, rest where you are."
"Oh… are you sure-"
"Go to sleep, please."
"... Okay…" The boy slowly nodded... and in a blink of an eye, he was fast asleep, as if he was already on the verge of passing out.
"Good night, pequeño." Now then... to go tell her daughters they have a human brother.
Cherrie Bomb cackled as she blew a fuckers head off. "Come on ya morons! Make this shit interesting!" So many explosions, so little splatters. Being a turf owner wasn't easy. For one, she didn't own souls, at least not nearly enough to count into overlord territory, which meant every other mother fucker every other day waltzed into her territory thinking they could take a piece of her territory.
"How's this for interesting!?" A mole man shouted, firing off a machine gun... that completely missed.
"... Who gave the gun to a fuckin blind animal?" She questioned, gently tossing a bomb to the fucker's feet. Then again, blowing up motherfuckers was her favorite hobby ever since she came to Hell, and the fun was always to see which of these losers came back to get blown up a second time.
"Can't anyone rip off this crazy broad's arms!?" A bull-man with a fuckin sword of all things came running at her.
"You can sure as Hell try, but bigger ones than you have failed before!" Cherrie jumped over the raging demon and shoved a bomb in his mouth. "And they had way bigger balls than you do, or well, did."
Ah, the splatters were always so mundane. She needed either bigger booms or bigger targets... "Okay, so Fear Street, Tail Cutter Motel, room sixty-nine." She heard some childish voice speak up from nearby. "Anyone around here know where Fear Street is!?" The source was a short boy with blue hair who looked so baby-faced he had to be a newcomer. And like a dumbass, the kid was calling attention to themselves in the middle of a turf war.
"Man, you guys can NOT make yourself subtle." Then again, neither could Cherrie, but at least she had the excuse of a loud weapon.
"Eh?" He looked up at the multiple guns. "... Right, should have accepted Odette's assistance." The boy muttered. "If I just walk away and don't say anything, will you let me live?"
"No, turf war rules. Anyone not on your side you shoot the fuck out of." A parrot demon explained.
"Then what about him?" They all turned... to absolutely nothing, looking back to the kid to see he already ran a block down.
"Huh, little shit's smarter than I thought." Cherrie snickered. Cowardly and with no spine at all, but smart. "Or you're all dumber than even I gave you credit for."
"Hey, no one makes a dumbass out of me!" Shouted a donkey-looking demon. "Turn that kid into Swiss cheese!"
They began firing bullet after bullet as the kid skittered around like a rat. "Bad day, bad day, bad day!" The kid jumped, ducked and dodge with... rather impressive agility. "I'm working for a mob boss, of course most days are going to be like this on my own, why did I expect anything less than Hell!?" A machine gun was taken out,... and the kid somehow dodged all the bullets.
"... Is this thing busted?" A demon questioned.
"Naah, you're just a dumbass!" Cherrie laughed as she tossed him a bomb, running up to the kid. "Hey, brat, you're pretty cool!"
"Thanks! I'm going to start running from you now before you shoot me!"
"Nah, I ain't gonna shoot ya… my thing is blowing people up, but you've piqued my interest... for the moment, that is." She chuckled as the kid avoided the resulting explosion.
"Well, at least you're honest about it…" The kid grumbled as he kept running from the bullets.
"So, first time in Hell?" She asked, flipping out of the way of a thrown knife. "You're pretty green for someone with blue hair."
"I've been here for about a... week or so." He said, flipping over a few bullets. "I'm kind of processing a lot of things at the moment. All I know is to go to this address and deliver this package." He held up a wrapped-up box.
"Kind of a lot to risk your life over one little box." Cherrie snickered.
"Maybe, but for a full-paying job with free room and three meals a day, I won't question it." The kid groaned as he pushed her out of the way of a collapsing building. "That was close."
"Wow, aren't you a little gentleman?" She smirked.
"Carmilla is big on manners and respect, and I just don't like people dying."
"Wait, did you just say Carmilla... as in Carmilla Carmine?" A nearby Hellhound from the other side asked.
"Yeah, my parents sold her my soul, so now she owns me." He nodded.
"Fuck." Cherrie winced.
"Eh, you get used to it." The kid shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.
"… Guys, this brat has a package from Carmilla Carmine! Kill him and grab whatever it is!!"
"Are you kidding!?" A beaver shouted. "Didn't you hear what happened to the LAST guy who fucked with a Carmine delivery!? Fifty-seven pieces scattered across all of Pride!"
"That's because it was one of her daughters. This is just some random brat working for her; there are no consequences whatsoever!"
"Eh, good point... fuck 'em up!" And the bullets returned.
"Oh, like they weren't trying to kill me hard before!" The kid shouted as he ducked and rolled out of the way.
"Here, take this." She handed him a bomb. "I'll toss it right, you left, then they'll be forced into a center for a massive bang."
"I really don't like fighting!" The kid shouted.
"Fight or die!"
"Why not run!?"
"Because it's HELL kid, no one can run anywhere! That's the whole bloody point!" She shook him. "And it's not like they're gonna die! They'll respawn in a day or two and come back to do other stupid shit somewhere else!"
"Wait, really?" The kid questioned. "So no one dies in Hell?"
"Pretty much." She'd figured if he did work for Carmine, he'd learn about the angels soon enough. "I've seen someone get their head ripped off and reduced to nothing but a heart. He was fine the next week when he tried to kill me."
"Oh... alright then." The boy shakily accepted the weapon. "Just throw and blow?"
"Pfft, ha, Angel would have too much fun with you." The guy did have a soft spot for kids.
"Wait, there are angels down here?" He questioned curiously.
"Nah, a friend of mine, Angel Dust. If we get out unscathed, I'll introduce you to him." She grinned. "Count of three, we blow their brains out. One-Three!"
"Ah!" The kid threw it as she did. "Why not two?"
"Like I'd actually announce out loud when I'd throw them." Cherrie cackled. "Fucks with their heads." Once they were all in one spot, she threw a particularly large one straight in the middle. "Goodnight, fuckers!"
BOOM
She cackled as the blood rained down on them. "Ooooh man, this is the best!"
"Yeah… nothing better than getting drenched in demon blood…" The kid shook.
"Oh, don't be such a wanker kid. You did great, you know, for a pussy that doesn't know what he's doing." She poked him in the head playfully. "You survived, and that's what matters the most in Hell. Ya can't do that here if your hands don't get down and dirty."
"... I understand... I did have to struggle pretty hard to survive on Earth..."
"Right. So just have some fun and struggle. It's not like sin matters when you're in the place all sinners are in, right?"
"Yeah, that's a fair point." He looked around. "Ooh, this is where I'm supposed to go!" He knocked on the door. "Hello! I have a package for Mr. Sir Pentious!" Wait, What-?
"Fffffinally, Itssss Arrived! The lassst component I need for my war macchinneeeee." the edgelord opened the door. Cherrie and him locked eyes in contempt and shock. "YOU! Time to die, HOOOAAR!" He took out a ray gun.
"Not before you, bitch." She grinned savagely as she took out her bombs.
"Um... can I get a signature first?" The kid raised a clipboard.
"Oh deepessst apologies, it's ssssorta our traditttion." The loser nodded as he signed it. "Are you new to the buisssinesss? I havvven't sssseen you around before."
"New hire. Soul got sold." He nodded. "Right now, I'm trying deliveries before I do factory work."
"Oh, wissssh you besssst of luck."
"Thanks! That's two nice and helpful demons I've met today." He nodded as he started walking away. "Hope you two don't kill each other so we can see each other again!"
"... Sssstrangely hopeful little one." The bitch nodded.
"Kind of fucked in the head... but in a cute way." She nodded. "… Now die, you old-timey geriatric!"
"You firsssst!"
Odette ducked under another explosion in the air. "Well..." Clara gulped. "Isn't this quite the way to introduce someone to extermination..." Her sister nervously chuckled.
"Yeah, that would've been nice to know about before it happened!!" The human boy/their adopted brother shouted as he ducked for cover.
When mom disappeared and reappeared suddenly about a month ago, neither she nor Clara could've anticipated what that would've led to. Suddenly, they were somehow richer than ever before, out of the blue, and now owned what was apparently some kind of human tome of demonic summoning. It was something that she didn't even know was an option for sinners!
And to close off the insanity of crazy event after crazy event... their mother announced that they have a brother. A human that she acquired from a group of, in her words, idiota parents. At first, Odette and Clara were a bit skeptical of just allowing someone else into their family. Even Zestial didn't exactly just come out and live with Mom, in spite of all of their planning.
But that quickly changed when they saw the kid at work. The boy, Iruma, was a pretty quiet kid, but he always worked in some way, like cleaning and maintenance. He was surprisingly adept at factory work… he worked pretty much first thing in the morning and didn't stop until someone told him to stop… which led to a bit of odd speculation on their end, mainly whenever someone told him 'pleas.'.
Once they learned that the child was mentally fucking conditioned to do shit for others... they fully switched the tune to 'dotting older sisters.' Their family was affectionate before, but with Iruma around, they probably gave and received more hugs in the last month than they ever did in all their years on Earth and Hell combined. Even their mom's usual cold demeanor lightened a little.
Of course, said opinion was currently being strained as it seemed. "Why did no one tell me angels came down to beat people up!?" He screamed. "That should have at least been a week ahead warning!"
"I was getting to it!" Odette chuckled hesitantly as she pulled him out of the way of an incoming spear. "You know that conversation we were having about the compensation and melting point of angelic steel?!"
"Yeah, for the weapons we sell to people that don't actually kill them, so I feel significantly better about my choices in life!"
"Well… there's an interesting property about angelic steel." Clara gulped as she threw a flash bang at an angel trying to fly above them. "You can't regenerate from weapons made out of it… they're meant to permanently kill demons."
"… Hello, old nightmares." The boy muttered as an explosion went off, letting them flee into a back alleyway.
"Look. We weren't trying to hide this from you. It's just that it's taken you so long to be this comfortable with us as it is!" Odette shouted as she took out her own flashbangs. "Mom said you needed time to accept being in Hell and given your mental conditioning. We didn't want to screw with your head any more than it already was!"
"And waiting until our current AND after lives was the best time to drop the bomb!?" He shot back as another angel was blinded.
"No!" Clara shouted. "… It was going to be the day after when the carnage died down. You know... in the safety of a bunker…"
"And why aren't we in said bunker?!"
"Today, we had a 'stay at home' schedule going on! We made sure it was on the calendar in your room and on your phone!" Odette shouted. "Why were you in an entirely different section of Pride!?"
"Well, I had a delivery to Sir Pentious again, and he invited me inside for tea, and we started talking about Mary Shelley when I asked about his Egg Bois…" He went off. "He's really fun to talk to, even when he's fighting Cherri Bomb." The kid blinked. "Is it weird that they fight each other to the death but have the same eyes Zestial and Carmilla have whenever they look at each other?"
"Honestly, half of all relationships in Hell start with two people wanting to kill each other," Clara noted. "Come on, we just got to keep our heads down till we reach our house. Mom's going to kill us there, but at least it won't be permanent!"
"So this is how I finally lose my mortal body." Iruma nodded with acceptance. "And by an angry adult... didn't think it would be-." His eyes widened as he pushed Clara out of the way-
SLAM
Only for an exorcist to nearly kill them on the spot. "Laaaame. I was hoping for a double kill surprise."
"Fuck!" Odette shouted, pulling the two up. "You guys okay!?"
"Just fine... fuck I wouldn't have dodged that in time." Clara gasped.
"Just run before-" Iruma moved out of the way of a slice.
"Just stand still and die like the worthless crap you are!" The exorcist shouted.
"Iruma, we're running low on flash-bangs. Tell me you packed before you left!"
"Bombs, no!" The kid said as he held up a crossbow. "The only thing I have on me is the first weapon I crafted in the factory, and I only have one arrow!"
"Better than nothing! Go for the eye and get ready to run!"
"Pfff, with that little pile of sticks, you'll be lucky if it even tickles me!" The angel swooped in again and made the three of them jump out in different directions. "Blueshit, here's too jumpy, but I'm willing to bet you're not!" The angel was coming at Odette's face, and there wasn't much she could do. Running was doing jackshit, and she didn't have any more flashbangs. Was... was this actually it? The end of the line?
"NO!" Iruma screamed, firing off an arrow-
Shick
… That went through their skull. The angel fell onto the ground, leaving the three of them in silence. "… Was... was that supposed to happen?" Iruma asked with a face full of fear.
"No... no, it was not..." Clara muttered. "... I thought angels were immortal?"
"They are... the arrow shouldn't even have pierced the skin, let alone the skull... unless.." Odette pulled out the silver metal out of the angel. "… Angelic steel kills souls... regardless of demon or angel."
"... That seems like a fucking oversight on their part," Clara muttered. "No armor? Leaving every weapon they have down here?"
"They treat killing us like a game. It isn't much to imagine that they probably believed they were invincible."
"… I... killed someone..." Yeah... an angel. "I... I killed..." His eyes were frantic as his breathing became more and more shallow. "I killed... I killed... I..." Odette recognized a panic attack when she saw one. "IkilledsomeoneIkilledsomeoneIkilledsomeone-"
"Iruma.." This was all their fault. They shouldn't have been out here today, they should've told Iruma beforehand, they should've-
"Girls, pequeño!" The voice of their mother called out as she flipped off a building down to them. "What were you thinking, bringing-!"
"Mom!" Clara shouted, pointing to the dead body. "Not the time!"
Their mother looked at the dead body oozing golden blood. "How did… what-?"
"IkilledsomeoneIkilledsomeoneIkilledsomeone…" Iruma was hyperventilating, eyes watering. "I'm a monster, I belong down here, I... I..."
"Sssshhhh… there there pequeño, it's alright, it's okay…" Mom picked him up and held him like a newborn.
"But... but I've killed someone... I... killed them forever…"
"There are many sins that people have committed, Iruma. Self-defense is among the least of them." Their mother reassured. "The world doesn't care what actions you take... life is a cruel mistress... but in every reality, I'd choose this over any world where my children are no longer in it.. all my children."
He was focusing on her... "... What..."
"Iruma, you are my son, just like Odette and Clara are my daughters. Never think otherwise, alright?" She stated gently. "I am proud that you are alive, and I assure you that you did NOTHING wrong, okay?"
"But..."
"Iruma. You saved me." Odette placed a hand on his shoulder. "Heck, your ability to dodge anything saved the both of us. You saved us because we acted stupid... if that doesn't make you family, I don't know what does."
"We probably didn't even need to come out here to save you, little guy." Clara chuckled. "... Although we should probably save this discussion for when the city isn't being attacked by angels with permanent kill weapons."
"Excellent point." Their mom looked at the dead body. "Cut off the head and take it with us."
"Mom?" Odette asked. "Why-"
"If we take the whole body, they'll purge all of Hell just to find it immediately." She explained. "Take the head. They won't find out what killed her... or who."
She understood the message. Iruma didn't need the heat. "On it..." Odette looked down. "He killed her with a holy weapon. I'm going to need your heels."
"..." Mom blinked. "... It was that fucking simple this whole time?"
"They're brutal. No one said they were smart." Clara nodded.
"Todos los de arriba y de abajo son tontos." Mom shook her head.
"I can handle a bunch of old windbags, Vox." Velvette groaned as she walked into the room. This entire day was going to be annoying. "Just focus on your own shit, alright?" The overlord hung up, taking a seat as she focused on the latest trends. No one could trust Valentino, and Vox was cooking up ways to undermine that damn hotel. Meaning it fell onto Velvette to deal with the fossils in the city.
A meeting of overlords wasn't something new to anybody that's been in the game long enough. Every extermination, they all gathered around to reassess resources and souls, which was a nice way of saying they were all figuring out who lost the most souls in the last extermination, who was weakest, and whose territory was up for grabs, yadda yadda, and all that shit. "I take it your colleagues won't be joining us today, Velvette?" The head windbag spoke up with narrow eyes, next to her two nepo babies and one other strange addition, strange in that the child, with blue hair with a cowl look, sharp squinty eyes that had blacked crows feet surrounding it, indicating he was an owner and a scowl on his face. His skin almost made him look fuckin alive, of all things.
"Course not. They have better things to focus on instead of old nobodies like you." She waved off.
SHING
A fucking blessed arrow passed through her pigtails, creating a gaping hole in them. "This is a meeting. In a meeting, you show respect." The blue-haired boy glared, holding up a crossbow.
Velvette let out a low chuckle. "Says the little bitch boy only in here 'cause his mommy has a soft spot. And a crossbow? Really? I guess you're not all that spoiled if it means you got such an outdated weapon."
"It's called sentimental value, something you clearly can't comprehend with your unoriginal look and style." The brat glared.
"Unoriginal?" She scoffed. "You with your fucking cowlick looking like you've never had a haircut in your life?"
"We actually did try... with holy weapons even." One of the little girls looked away with a traumatized look. "It just grew back..."
"If you don't mind, we'd like to get back to the meeting with the important overlords, thank you very much." The little brat spoke, turning to Carmine. "Sorry for the interruption, mother."
"It's fine, pequeño, no harm done." How was such an old sentimental bitch become the fucking mother arms dealer queen of Hell? "I've called this meeting in light of the latest extermination. This year's extermination was brutal, with an estimated 16 percent lost in population." The old bitch recounted. "With the upcoming six-month limit for the next one, it is imperative that we find a way to minimize the casualties of our-"
"Heya, head bitch, mind if I take the floor for a sec with some actual important shit?" Velvette raised her hand as she kicked her feet up on the table.
"That would be a first." The brat muttered, causing Missi to snort.
"I'm liking this boy's attitude." Fucking Alastor managed to even grin... though that wasn't really anything new, in all honesty.
"If it's relevant, you may share." The bitch rolled her eyes.
"Sweet." She began texting Vox. "Special package will be here in three, two-"
Smash
The headless body of the exorcist was thrown through the window by one of Vox's drones and slammed on the table. "... Now, this is a delivered meal I could get behind," Rosie muttered, looking at the corpse, softly poking it.
"You're paying for the window." The brat said without missing a beat.
"Is that what I fucking think it is?" Missi chuckled with curiosity.
"Where did you acquire this?" The head bitch raised an eyebrow.
"Me and the boys found it after the last extermination. Like we wanted you to be hogging all the leftover goodies for yourself." Velvette chuckled. "If these holy rollers can be killed, then the rules of the game have changed. We can take the fight to them." It was the perfect plan. Get the fuckers to fight off angels, no extermination, and they'd be weak and ripe for the picking. "Now, me and the boys made a plan of-"
There was a long sip of tea, cutting her off. Everyone turned to the oldest and most cobweb-filled head of the table. "If doth wishes to wage war with such meager proof, thou art more foolish than thy previously assumed."
"A very low bar." The brat nodded.
"Proof, whataya mean proof!?" Velvette shouted. "It's a fuckin headless exorcist!"
"And Lucifer lives in Hell. One wrong move against a Hellborn in front of his eyes, and pop goes the fuckin weasel." The brat deadpanned. "Unless you can show us here and now how to cut up the body."
"Excuse me!? Exactly who the fuck are you to question anybody!?" Velvette stood up on the table and marched up to the brat. "No, seriously, who the fuck are you!? The only fucking thing that's obvious is that your under this windbag's contract and constantly sucking her teat like a baby fucking cow."
"I am Iruma Carmine, one of the people at this table with a brain. And a job that actually has value to Hell." He continued. "And the joke's on you. I've never sucked on a teat in my life, ironic coming from the woman that doesn't have any."
"I have killed fuckers for less than the bullshit you're spewing!" She screamed, feeling her body morph.
"So you feel the need to prove to every overlord in Pentagram City that you lost a verbal argument with a fourteen-year-old?" One of the other girls hanging around Carmine brought up.
"No, I'm going to silence a little mouthy twerp that was obviously too stupid to live if he died so early-!"
Shink
The old hag swept her leg past Velvette's face, a small cut crossing her cheek as the force sent Velvette back. "You are not here because we need you to be. You are here because I allow it." Carmine growled. "You V's are self-absorbed wannabes, too inane to think anything through, and so uninformed you'd risk all of Hell over something you can't prove."
"Ooh, striking a nerve, am I?" Velvette glared. "Cause I couldn't help but observe that out of everyone here, you and your nepo babies were the only ones not to have a reaction."
"Because you broke our window, bloodied our table, and refused to so much as incline you were going to pay for it." The brat spoke up. "And for the record, I'm smart enough to survive Hell, considering I'm not dead like the rest of you."
"Ohh, little bluejay, here's a living soul, is he?" Rosie questioned with a sharp-toothed grin. "A bit of a mouth, but a charmin' young lad he is, Carmilla."
"A living soul in Hell, eh?" Velvette raised an eyebrow. "Boy, you must've fucked up big time up top to end up here without even croaking."
"I did. It was believing my parents cared about me." The brat responded without a second thought. "I haven't been living in Hell for a long time, but I've learned about it... and from what I've seen, with King Lucifer not doing a damn thing about anybody and the Goetias sticking to their prissy and self-serving selves, the overlords are the only semblance of structure Hell has... and you and your little trio of clout chasers, are the most useless among them."
"... The fuck was that?" She growled.
"Who cares about a couple of horny people, phone calls, or stuff on a screen. It doesn't improve living. It's just fads and short-term entertainment." He stated. "My family provides self-defense weapons, Missi Zilla provides engineering on vehicles and alcohol production, Rosie is a major source of food and the only one preventing the cannibals from attacking all of Pride, Zestial stores and collects information and history... but you... the only use you can provide is an icon on a screen that nobody can touch, taste, feel, or anything other than look at a screen for hours, making more and more of Hell DUMBER as a result."
At this point, smirks were on MOST of the room's faces, barring the chuckle from Rosie and the laughter from the fucking kaiju. "Bwhaahaahahahahaahahaaahahaa!" The dumb dino bitch roared. "Best fucking meeting ever, haahaahaahaha!"
"What about Alastor?" She questioned. "All he does is make talk shows."
The radio demon opened his mouth... "Alastor's only an overlord on the technicality of owning souls. He barely cares about his own image, power, contributing to society, or control." The human said. "In fact, the only reason he's here is probably wanting a front-row seat to any infighting."
The bastard blinked. "... Seriously, Ms. Carmine, I MUST have an interview with this boy. This is the best laugh I've had since I heard about Ms. Morningstar's hotel for wayward souls."
"Oh fuck all of you! I thought I was actually going to get somewhere with you irrelevant hacks, but clearly, I was wrong if all you get out of a fucking DEAD ANGEL is a cheap fucking laugh from the braindead babyfaced fleshbag!"
"A dead angel with no method to harm. Is thou aware of the weapon used to slay it? If so, we shall take this matter with slightly more... interest."
"If not, I suggest you leave now and let the adults carry on with actual important matters." The old bitch glared. "Or, by all means, stay and get knocked off your high horse by my son again and again if you haven't learned your lesson."
"She's a media influencer. She probably forgot why she came here already." The brat smirked.
Velvette growled, storming out of the office. "Little brat..." She was going to RUIN him!
"Alright, folks, here's the deal," Blitz smirked. "Somehow, a live human came to Hell, and we got paid by a Velvette to deal with it." About a million souls, to be exact. No way was Blitz going to correct the bitch by telling her about their 'kids die for free' policy.
"An Overlord paid us? An Overlord is aware of us?" Moxie questioned. "I find that both tremendous news and incredibly hard to believe."
"When you advertise to kill, you do it well." He smirked. "So... has Millie finally gotten over the whole... kid train?"
"Well..." Moxie turned to Blitz's office.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-" The sound of clashing and smashing echoed in the air.
"...We're going to therapy to help her cope with it." Moxxie sighed.
"Don't know why the bitch is so upset." Loona rolled her eyes from the couch. "It's not like it was her kid. In fact, wasn't it the kid that you always ruined his job for?"
"Eh, nothing too egregious. It's character building and preparing him for a horrible life as an adult with no prospects or aspirations for the future." Blitz grinned.
"You know, I know there was no stopping you, but a little tact wouldn't hurt," Mox grumbled.
"And a little salad wouldn't hurt you either, Mox, but we don't see you chowing them down."
"Seriously, you're in on those jokes too now!?" The shrimp yelled. "I am not FAT!"
"Then your bitch isn't sleeping with you because of your limp dick." Loona grinned. "It's one or the other, fatty, you chose."
"...I hate you both... SO much right now." Moxxie groaned.
"You won't be hating me for long after today's job." Blitz grinned. "The client offered another mill for offing the brat when it was over. Now come on, let's gear up."
Knock knock
"Loonie, could you get that? Daddy's packing his shotgun shells." He asked as he prepared.
"Fuck you." His lovely daughter got up and walked towards the door.
"Sir, the last two times our target was a kid, it went horribly." Moxxie reminded him.
"The first time was because that angel bitch got in the way, and the second was because you freaked out for no reason." Blitz waved off. "And there's never been any consequences from either that's bitten me in the ass since then."
"Blitz, it's some kid saying he wants to hire you!"
"Tell him unless he has two mill in his pocket, no dice!"
"... Three mill!" She shouted back with a hesitant voice.
"Wait, really!?" Blitz shouted, shoving Moxxie into a wall as he ran up. "Where's this kid that's now my number one priority/ someone I want to adopt?"
"Right here."
POW
In the blink of an eye, before Blitz could react, he found himself flying across the room and into the eel tank, getting electrocuted all over. "Gaaah... someone has a mean kick." He grumbled through the electric and impact pain. "What the fuck kind of greeting was that!?"
"The kind that you've shown me for the last year." The vaguely familiar voice announced as a blue-haired kid with a cowlick-oh fuck. "Remember me?"
"Oh yeah... so, you finally died and went to Hell... oh wait." He blinked. "Your skin looks the fuckin same... makeup?"
"Yeah, I call it screw you, red possum." The kid grabbed him by the horns and slammed into the secretary's desk. "It's done wonders for me since I got bound to Hell, asshole!"
"I… remember you being... a lot more sackless and spineless…" Blitz coughed up a tooth.
"What can I say? I met a woman who taught me I can be better." He growled, turning to the Hellhound. "You gonna interrupt this, or can I beat these imp fuckers senseless?"
"Go ahead, you clearly need this." Loona backed off.
"Loonie!"
"Well, you did kind of screw him over, sir." Moxxie pointed out.
"Oh, don't think I forgot about your part in it!" The kid grabbed Moxxie by the tail and threw him into Blitz. "You may have been nicer about it, but you STILL would've let this bastard kill me if that eyeball creature didn't intervene! Along with that lady who constantly waved her knife at my face!"
"What the fuck's goin' on-" Mills came out, confused and angry, before just confused. "Tot?"
Pow
And he punched her in the face. "The name is Iruma Carmine to you."
"Hey, mistreated or not, you don't get to touch Millie like-" Moxxie tried to jump the brat... Who just moved out of the way and grabbed the shrimpy imp by the neck, tossing him into the ground with a huge slam.
"Anyway, that little beatdown was for messing up my life." The kid pulled out a holy knife. "This is for trying to kill me."
"Hey, hey, hey, let's just calm down now!" Blitz shouted, raising his hands. "It was nothing personal on that last one, just a job!"
"...THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE, DIPSHIT!" The kid shouted, slamming Blitz into a wall. "I may have always been heading to Hell no matter what, but YOU still ruined my life, over and over and OVER again without apology! You fucked it up so much that things got better BY living in Hell because at least I didn't have to see any of you."
SHINK
"AAAAAHHH!" Blitz screamed, feeling the burning sensation of a holy weapon in his arm, the wound almost catching on fire.
"I'm not a violent person, I'm really not... But I've learned not to be a doormat…I'd be really…really satisfied right now with killing you right here and now." The kid brought him in close. "So give me one reason, one good fucking reason to keep you alive..."
"I'm fine with you beating them up, but I will speak up about killing them," Loonie spoke up from the couch, her tail wagging. "The tall guy's fucking a goetia, who would probably get pissed."
"... Are you serious?" The boy blinked.
"How do you think they got access to the human world?"
"... I don't know what to be more insulted over. That I was going to be killed for a dead man for money, or that I was about to be killed because someone had good sex."
"Hey, my dong's amazing, don't knock it till you-" The kid pressed the knife deeper.
"Yeah, if you finished that joke, I'd kill you out of mercy over what my mom would do to you." The kid groaned. "You still able to access the living world?"
"As long… as he... Keeps sleeping with… Prince Stolas… we always… have the grimoire." Moxie explained.
"... One week from now, a contract's going to be made. You'll give me access to the human realm and do labor work for the Carmine family." The kid glared. "You won't get ratted out to the higher-ups of Hell, you'll have a more steady and ensured supply of wages, and most importantly, I won't kill you and mount your head on the wall."
"Suck… my…"
"We'll do it!" Millie shouted before Blitz could finish.
"Alright." The kid pulled out the knife and marched out the door. "Good day, I.M.P." He stated, slamming the door shut.
"... Anyone else think that was kinda hot?" Loonie asked.
"Really Loonie?! He was beating me the fuck up!"
"I know… That's why it was hot."
"And you, Mills!" Blitz shouted. "I would've died before letting MY company fall into a shitty sinner's hands!"
"I didn't do it for you, Blitz. I did it for the tot!" Millie called out. "We wrecked his life enough, bout time we did something to fix it."
He groaned. "Oh... this is just the worst." What the fuck did he do to deserve this?
Iruma smelled the air. "No pollution... no acidic humidity... I can't believe I missed this." It didn't even feel homey in the slightest. His first time back to the human world… he thought that he would have some kind of catharsis when he came up here... but... It was just a huge void of empty feelings.
The sun felt wrong compared to the hellfire that burned in the city , the grass was weird compared to the fleshy pavement and buildings, the sky… it was too blue! Red was probably his favorite color now… staring at the red sky of Hell was more relaxing.
Iruma struggled, he strived, he grew within the confines of Hell... and he found his family. People who loved him, and he loved them back. Maybe a little too much, if Clara's teasing about 'matching mom's looks' were any indication. To be fair, he may have subconsciously done this after the extermination to the point he didn't realize just how much he was trying to be like Mom… heck, he was able to call Carmilla his mom without any struggle.
He was usually more skeptical and untrusting than this, more cautious… but Camilla had been nothing but kind and nurturing to him since he came to Hell. She wasn't obligated to. She didn't have to treat him with any kindness… he could've just been another soul for her to own… but she went out of her way to take care of him… which was why Iruma wanted to do the very same for her.
Hell... Hell was his home... Carmilla was his mom…Clara and Odette were his sisters... They were more family than his parents… heck, they were still probably alive, even less reason to live on Earth and visit. Other than making sure IMP didn't fuck up Mom's missions for them… he didn't have a reason to linger around this planet anymore... He simply... Outgrew it.
"... Thank you for giving me life… Earth... thank you for giving me the skills to survive..." He said to the world. "But now, it's time to say goodbye... I would be lying if I said I was gonna miss you." With a chuckle, Iruma turned back, ready to trek back to his home... to Hell.
"Why... why... Why did he have to suffer…" Iruma paused, hearing a strange but oddly familiar voice. "Iruma… I'm sorry... I'm sorry I failed you…"
"Huh?" Who would remember his name on Earth? And who would actually feel SORRY for him on Earth? His parents definitely didn't fit that bill. "Well… guess I have nothing better to do now." It was another while before he could hang out with Cherrie again. She really wanted him to meet that Angel Dust friend she kept talking about.
He walked forward, finding his way to a small park... where a familiar lady cried on a bench. Oh, it was that crazy eyeball lady from the day he got dragged to Hell... honestly that entire day was weird, he wasn't sure what part was a hallucination and what wasn't. Should… should he even approach. "I failed you... And now you're suffering… Iruma.. I'm sorry…"
…He may have been slightly hardened by Hell, but wanting others to be happy was always at the top of his list. "I… I don't know why you need to be sorry." Iruma took in a deep breath as he walked forward, making himself known. "I mean, we only met once, and you didn't really do anything wrong."
She turned to him, eyes wide. "IRUMA!" She flew forward and hugged him before he could even blink. White feathers fluffing in the-white feathers. White feathers. Angel. "I'm so happy! I thought I lost you! I didn't know what happened. I tried searching everywhere, but no one could find you, and you're alright."
"I… I..." He… He wasn't sure how to approach this... on one hand, she seemed nice, and Iruma already learned in Hell that when people were nice, there was actually a good chance they were actually nice, so judging a book by its cover was out of the question… on the other hand, the last time he ran into an angel, they tried to kill him… and he… he...
"Iruma, you're breathing fast, are you having a panic attack?" The angel lady asked him with concern and care in her tone… a tone that Carmilla had given him in the past few months.
"... Yeah... sorry, it's just... not a good experience," Iruma muttered. "I... am so confused and... memorizing something I don't like thinking about." He may have been open to murder now… but that didn't mean he liked it… the extermination still gave him nightmares.
"Just relax, Iruma." She rubbed him gently. "You're safe now. No demons to hurt you... you're safe."
"I am… though… it's actually kind of because of demons." He explained.
"...Did you develop Stockholm syndrome?" She asked.
"No, that implies that I grew to love abuse, and I actually haven't suffered any," Iruma explained. "Apparently, my parents tried selling me to an Overlord in Hell, but she tricked them into giving up everything. Ever since she's been caring for me with her two daughters..." He smiled. "It's been... nice."
The angel looked a bit baffled before thinking a bit curiously. "... Well, that explains why your parents are homeless in spite of the blessings... That's literally been the only consolation I've had since you disappeared."
"I'm confused, sorry. How do you know me?" Iruma asked. "You're talking like you've known me all my life?"
"I... I'm your guardian angel..." She looked down. "Emily... and I failed you... I tried so hard to help, but a demon managed to do that before me..." Her wings lowered, almost sagging. "I… I wanted to do more for you, to be seen by you, to hold you, but I was told never to be seen, and if I intervened more I would've-"
"...You're the reason I've survived Earth." It clicked in Iruma's head. "...Every close call… every time my fan broke down in the desert… every cave collapsed... I survived it because of you… didn't I?"
"... I did..." She cried. "I just... wanted you to be safe and happy... I'm so sorry..."
"Thank you." He teared up as he hugged her... Her warmth felt so comforting... And familiar.
"... I love you, Iruma." She said. "I always will." They stayed like that for a few moments.
"You know, I was kind of scared of you being an angel. Given the exterminations." He chuckled.
"... The what?" She questioned.
"You know, the exterminations?" Iruma asked. "Led by that Adam guy or whatever? You guys come down once a year to kill demons permanently with holy weapons?"
"... We do WHAT!?!??!" Emily screamed as white fire came out of her head. "Adam said he didn't… and he never... Sera… you FUCKING HYPOCRITE!" Emily yelled to the sky.
"... Umm..." He was both confused and freakin terrified.
"She's been lying to me for over two hundred years, she's fucking kept this a secret... Killing human souls, I didn't even know that was possible!" Emily looked at him. "Did he hurt you?! Did any angels hurt you? I swear to god that I'll make them pay…"
"No... I didn't get hurt… they-They were trying to kill my family… the new adopted one I have... so... I... killed one..."
"..."
"I'm sorry..." He said. "I… I'm doomed to Hell either way by this point… I'm probably just a sinner to you and-"
Emily hugged him. "You can never be anything less than the most pure and selfless boy in the universe. If you killed an angel, then you could ONLY ever be in the right."
"... Thank you." He mumbled. "... Do you..." He hesitated. "... Want to meet my mom?"
"YES!" She twirled him in the air excitedly. "I mean… if she's taken care of you, then I'd be honored." She gently put him back down. "Let's meet and have a wonderful night together."
"Yeah… okay." He nodded with a small smile… this felt good… weird but good. He took out his phone and dialed Odette. "Yeah, I'm done exploring up top. And I'm bringing a..." He looked at Emily. "...I'm bringing a friend over."
"Is it a girlfriend?"
"Odette…" He rolled his eyes.
"Oh, is that your girlfriend?" Emily asked curiously
Iruma groaned into his hands. "Cuál es mi vida?"
"I don't remember if you spoke Spanish before."
"It's something Mom's rubbed off on me… one of the many great things she has."