It was a day like any other. His arrival didn't change that. "Go on, go say hi to him if nothing else," Nerissa teased, but there was something about him that rubbed me the wrong way, a scrape of stone rough against tender skin. I huffed and gathered my belongings, making it a point to look as miserable as possible as I packed up my easel. I've been alone most of my life. I liked my solitude, or, I'd gotten used to it, rather. It was my sanctuary, a shield against the indifference that had long since been my reality. Forgotten, overlooked, and alone — just another day in Silta Vie. Palace life revolved around others' obessions: the need for validation, the pursuit of fleeting highs, and the relentless quest for physical perfection. One sought the throne, another craved infallibility, while others still chased the ephemeral pleasures of superficial beauty. I just wanted to escape, and at the time, I didn't care how it was that I got out.I wish I had been more specific.
"Hey, I'm Vexx," his voice dripped with confidence as a burst of scarlet appeared before me. His unnaturally red hair commanded my attention. I looked him up and down, curiosity took hold. There was this arrogance settled in his features, the piercing eyes of a predator dissected me. He was a cunning fox and I was a vulnerable rabbit. It annoyed me at the time — that fucking smirk — but I couldn't help but be drawn to him. "This is the part where you tell me your name, Princess," he winked, sending a slight shiver down my spine.
"Raina," I said, my voice involuntarily raising to a betraying pitch. I aimed for indifference, a cool, authoritative air, even. I sounded flustered and a bit girly.
Iamgirly. The art of transformation through makeup and fashion has always captivated me. I feel an unshakable sense of confidence when my hair is curled elegantly and I'm dressed in my finest. The opportunities for such are fleeting, but I cherish the rare moments I did have. Nerissa gave me her hand-me-downs sometimes. When I was younger, we would spend countless hours, unfettered by reason or occassion, lost in the whimsy of our own private fashion shows. I'm on the cusp of adulthood now, but, I find myself longing for those carefree days, of having someone to just be myself with.
"You like to paint?" he gestured to my paint-splashed easel.
"No, I just haul this around all day. Good exercise." I said, injecting a hint of sarcasm in my tone. He raised an eyebrow and I relented, "I do like to paint. I'm not very good at it, but I find it soothing. I only paint flowers, and the sky, but never a flower in the sky. That would be ridiculous."
He chuckled, then asked to see one of my paintings. I hesitated before showing him. He attempt at admiration was endearing, if unconvincing. "Is this one of those paintings that looks better from far away?"
A laugh escaped me. He asked so innocently, not a trace of insult to be found. "No," I grinned, "it looks just as bad from far away."
I run my hand through my hair, lost in thought as I stared at the ceiling, a faint sigh escaping my lips. "That's adorable," Ryona smiles. Her gentle smile and soft voice are a welcomed contrast to my mood. "Are your paintings really that bad, though?" she asked, amusement dancing in her eyes. They were, unless I was remembering wrong.
"Yes… I used to cycle through hobbies trying to find something that resonated with me, or really showcased my aptitude. Photography and fiber arts were my brief forays into excellence…" My voice trailed off, as I had gotten tired of listening to myself speak at that point, but Ryona insisted on listening to my stories, no matter how mundane.
Ryona is the only one who knows my darkest secret. I'm desperately in love with the man who murdered my entire family.
Memories of my old life are fragmented. Talking to her helps. For a long time, I didn't remember anything at all. I still don't remember it all, I even had to make a guess at my name. I was right, turns out, but I could've chosen something else for Peg'asi? I don't know when I had no clue who I was, I had the urge to run away, to hide, to get as far away from the Andromeda 6 as I possibly could. I've always had that desire to go as far as my feet could take me, I was just waiting for someone to run with.
Vexx name feels like a curse word, a forbidden phrase, a secret I must keep hidden away. Our encounter in Nos Vega had left me reeling. A hate-filled man I had no memories of left a dent in my soul. He told me the most horrible things, none of which sparked a memory for me at the time. I felt disconnected from the girl he was describing to me. A useless little brat of a person, an entitled princess, one so lonely and sad that I was putty in his hands, molded to his whims, and I gave him everything he . I was no princess, and I was no ?
It's still embarrassing to admit, but when he vanished into the night, leaving me alone on the cold streets, all I knew is that I love him. It was absurd, impossible, yet undeniable. Even his name was a mystery to me at the time, but the feelings bubbling up inside of me weren't. It drives me crazy. Why do I feel this way? Is there a good reason? Was he kind, charming, or adventurous? Was he funny, was he a dreamer? Did I really not see it was all just a game? Blind to the cruel reality of it all, just because he's attractive? Was I desperate, settling for the first guy who looked my way? Do I like red flags? Speaking of red flags…
"I hate this fucking music," Damon growls under his breath. I slide into the empty seat next to him at the bar and he orders me a drink. The notorious Krill Bomb — this nasty concoction of blueberry, lemon juice, and… crustacean-based is bugs.I only drink it as a little challenge I have with myself. I gulp it down, I keep a straight face, I prove Damon wrong about me, for this one little thing. It's lose/lose for me, though, because I know he knows I can't stand it, and he knows that I'm just doing it to - ugh - impress him. He watches as I drink it, moderating my expression and form. 10/10, I survived again. The glass slams victory. It's not long before the warmth fills my chest, a heady buzz taking control of me and flooding my senses. God I love this song. Does Damon like to dance?No, stop. Be quiet.I step outside, hoping the cool air clears my head.
I think I understand why Damon likes these so much. They might not taste good, but they pack a seriously potent punch. Maaaaybe downing it in one gulp wasn't the best choice. I float through the streets of Cursa, lost in a haze, with not a single care in the world. People turn as I walk by, but I glide past, invisible, unstoppable, a ghost. I just want to be alone, to have some time to think away from the loud cacophony of the club, away from Damon and his provocative jabs.
"I thought I told you to lose the crew."
"Vexx…" his name escapes my lips like vapor, a toxic mist suffocating me. My gaze fixes on the barrel of his rifle. I thought I'd never see him again. The ability to breathe slips away from 't do it, Raina. You'll only make things worse,my last brain cell tries to reason with me, but the alcohol wins. My hand flies from my side — it would feel so good to slap him, if only he weren't so much faster and stronger than I am. He seizes my wrists and slams me against the wall, the concrete scraping against my sweater. It's not even really my sweater, it's Calderon's. One of his moms knit it for him when he first joined the Guard. I don't have much to my name, anymore, but I love this sweater. It's so big on me, a warm hug from a cold man, and his scent is intoxicating.
"You've got some fight in you. Is this what you wanted, Princess?" Vexx's eyes seem to glow with hatred as he leans in close, his voice an oddly seductive rasp piercing through my thoughts. No, it's not what I wanted at desires lurk within everyone, even Damon once told me echoes through my head. Vexx is my darkest desire, but not like this. Tears well up in my eyes as every single painful feeling I've felt since I woke up on the A6 fights for dominance in my mind. Something changes in him, for a moment. His eyes turn soft, his brows furrow in what has to be mock concern. I brace myself for his snide words, the painful sting of his condescension, how I was soeasy. "I'm… Raina, I'm…. so…" he hesitates, frustration etched onto his face. His grip on my wrists loosens, his thumbs tracing gentle patterns on my skin as he presses his forehead to mine, our breath mingling. His fingers lace in between my fingers, a tender gesture at odds with the uncaring facade from earlier. Words tumble out of his mouth and scatter. A coherent sentence fights to find its way to the surface in vain. Our eyes lock, I can sense the depth of his inner turmoil, a glimmer of vulnerability and regret pairing bitterly.
A dark figure detaches from the alley, looming behind Vexx. Before I can even react, Vexx has him pinned on the ground with a blade to his . Shit."Vexx, don't —" I start, but Calderon moves faster than my words can travel, his gun pressed to Vexx's temple, freezing time. "NO." It wasn't a plead, it wasn't a question, I wasn't begging. I was commanding, a shout that echoes through the alley ways. The strength of my cry was sure to catch attention, attention that we didn't need. The Andromeda 6 crew has a bounty on their collective heads, and as for me? I shudder to think of what the K'Merii would do if they got their hands on me.
Damon brushes himself off, eyes narrowing at Vexx. "You?" Vexx blows him a little kiss, a wicked smile dancing over his sharp features. I roll my eyes, fighting the smirk from growing over my lips, as well. His playfulness is 's something I love about him, I recall. Seeing him tied up like this pains me, but I don't want to see what he'd be doing right now if he were freed.
As we return to the ship, I keep stealing glances at Vexx, finding his eyes locked on me each time I do. I don't think he's taken his eyes off me for a moment. His intense focus unnerves me. I can't help but wonder if this was part of his plan; his capture seemed too easy, as if he wants to be here with us, heading to the ship full of people he's been contracted to murder.