Every single one of those dawn-tinged moments are hard to shake off when they come back, not that Akihiko wants to forget any of it, but simply dull the aftermath until he can function and not become a twitching mess. That usually implies an intense workout as soon as the rest of the dorm gets up. Mornings are ideal for training under this kind of crushing temperature and it's best to slot the grueling exercise early for questions of sanity anyways. Then, he can work on his summer studies and replenish his energy before Tartarus tonight.
Perhaps sometimes he goes a little overboard to compensate for the lack of boxing club practice during vacations, but the burn in his limbs feels good and evaporates some of the rattling tension associated with red he's trying to learn to cope with. Once Akihiko's done driving himself ragged to distraction and finally takes a well-deserved shower, his grumbling stomach is killing him and all that's in his mind's eye is one of his hearty portioned meals to calm the pain. Unfortunately, the smells coming from the lobby are anything but appetizing when he comes down.
Did someone microwave something weird for lunch again? Mitsuru would have a field day if she was here.
Even Koromaru is hiding at the foot of the staircase instead of his usual spot near the sofa, as if the downstairs AC blasting nearby can dispel the foulness. Iori, half-melting over the furniture, seems completely unconcerned, munching on the content of some takeout box while holding his handheld console with the other hand.
What happened here?
Junpei looks up at him and does a vague gesture with his chopsticks, mouth full, as if to greet him and Akihiko nods back with a frown. Swallowing hard, the teen clears his throat to explain.
"Fuuka tried to bake something by herself again. Min came to the rescue and helped her clean it up, but it seems to linger."
She tries so hard, but as soon as Minato isn't here to coach her, it goes downhill. Now if Shinji was here…
It's a weird feeling of nostalgia that hits him at the memory of his oldest friend, pan in hand, whipping out wonders from a few ingredients like it's just so very easy and now the hunger pangs are much sharper.
"I'm not a great cook, so I can't judge from experience, but hopefully she figures it out. Her rice attempts aren't too bad now. Well, sometimes."
He rummages in the fridge for one of his premade chicken meals and scowls when he discovers it's the last of the lot, he'll probably have to do his homework in the kitchen today and make a new batch for the week. Grabbing a drink, Akihiko waits for the microwave to do its magic and notices the recipe Fuuka taped on the fridge, written in bright red ink, detailing instructions for sweets.
There are traces of her everywhere even when she's not here.
He's smiling a little when he looks at Minako's elaborate scribblings, highlighting how many of everything is required and exact measuring for the spices and extras. He remembers why the mention of ginger on the list is so familiar now; these are the cookies she's always sharing with the other girls when they study downstairs. Apparently, they're popular enough that Yamagishi wanted to pitch in to save her from some cooking, which is nice of her.
Except it didn't go as planned, but it's the thought that counts.
Wolfing down his heated plate's content at the lounge table before his stomach turns inside out, he feeds a few scraps of unseasoned chicken to the dog in passing, who gratefully licks his fingers and sits at his feet. Once done with his meal and petting Koromaru under the table absently, he can't help but notice that Junpei left a pile of trash and dirty dishes on the coffee table and resumed his game with both hands, loosely sprawled across the sofa like he's a part of it.
Akihiko scowls at him and steps back into the kitchen to clean his dishes, running the tap water until he gets the hint but all he hears are zombie growls and gunshots.
Apparently, when Mitsuru steps out, you revert to your natural state. And Minako cleans after you all the time.
"Iori, are you gonna pick up your mess?"
"I'm busy, why?"
And the shotgun shells boom over a catchy music when he steps out of the doorframe to glare at him.
"Because this is not a hotel? Clean up after yourself, everybody else does."
"Technically, it's a refurbished one, so you're wrong."
Junpei resumes his game with a snicker at his own quip, not a care in the world as he headshots some more undead.
I don't mind you most of the time but you're starting to piss me off.
"Do you want to feel wrong? Cause I can fix that for you."
Iori sits up to look at him and throws his hands into the air in exasperation, eyes a little wild when he hears his fists crack. Akihiko roughed him up once or twice when he joined SEES, nothing too hard but he clearly remembers.
"Holy crap, what's up with all the violence today? First Mina-tan, now you? Is the heat getting to everybody?"
She's actually so tolerant of his immature behavior that it's a surprise to hear she even got angry at him, they're best friends and she's used to his antics. Crossing his arms, he glares at Junpei until he pauses his game and looks sideways.
"What did you do now?"
"I borrowed her chocolates last night because there was this special horror show at 1 am I wanted to catch and I had nothing to snack on; I thought I could replace it all today before she noticed but she needed all of it this morning with her breakfast for some reason. I got an earful, and she even kicked me. I thought Yukari was crazy, but Mina-tan can give her a run for her money."
All of that because of sweets? All the girls are fond of them, and Junpei to an extend, but that seems a tad excessive so early during the day. Akihiko's about to say something back when a comment Takeba made a thousand years ago about desserts and chocolate dawns on him, and he blushes furiously.
That might… be because… err…
"Just... you know what? Throw the trash out and I'll take care of your dishes. That seems… rough alright."
"It sounds like pity, but I'll take it. Thanks man, dude bond, am I right?"
"Just… make sure you do replace it."
I'm not even going to think about why or I'll burn in Hell.
Trying to look busy and wanting nothing more than to flee to the kitchen, he takes the plate and utensils in a rush before the lanky teen can register the state of his face. He bites his cheek absently as he goes through the cleaning motions very slowly in the sink to keep his mind focused on something else than her nails scraping his neck in some kind of crimson-tinged frustration. Iori is still playing his game, but he did put his trash in the proper place by the time Akihiko goes upstairs and back down, meal plan notes and wallet in hand.
"Going somewhere senpai?"
"I need to make a grocery run, I'm out of premade lunches."
He shuts his console and stands up, replacing his cap absently.
"Might as well fix my mess before she decides to bench me from Tartarus. I'll go with you."
He nods and they head together toward the train station for their mutual shopping.
They're in the plaza when Akihiko spots Aragaki near one of the restaurants at the strip mall and tells Iori to go on without him. It's an unexpected surprise, perhaps conjured by his thoughts of his adoptive brother and all that earlier talk about cooking.
I haven't pestered you in a while, but I have an ace this time.
The truth is, Minako's comments about permanence and temporary rattled him quite a bit after the festival. It implied she's been quite lonely before coming to Port Island, sliding in quicksand with only her brother as an anchor, and that breaks his heart because she deserves everything and then some.
At the same time, he's a tad envious of her close bond with her brother, he'd trade a lot of things to get his own one back, but he keeps running out on him. Funny how trying to build up on that meshing of red and silver that makes his whole being sing also makes him yearn for the other chains that used to wrap around his life and broke along the way.
Shinji was a permanent fixture for so long and it's not the same without him around.
He sees him just as he starts going for the stairs and furrows his brows like a thundercloud before Akihiko even opens his mouth.
"Dammit Aki, I'm tired of your nagging. You got better things to do than haunt me. Get lost."
Aragaki sounds instantly angry, and for once, instead of biting back impulsively, he keeps his voice level.
"I'm sorry, but I won't take no for an answer."
The brown eyes shine dangerously but the growl that accompanies them doesn't match. If anything, it sounds tired.
"Well, the answer's still the same: I'm not coming back."
He's had some recent practice in being cheeky because of a certain red-eyed vixen but he tries not to smile too much when he looks sideways and throws the hook.
"You know, another new Persona-user joined us… and he's not human."
It takes Shinji a few seconds to muster a low-voiced reply.
"…What?"
Oh, the bait is on alright.
"It's a dog. He lost his master six months ago because of the Shadows."
I know you; you always had a soft spot for pets and craved one to love all to yourself. Wait till you meet Koromaru.
"He's incredibly loyal… Up 'til now, he's been guarding the spot where his master was killed… despite the bad memories."
Akihiko narrows his eyes at his brother, trying to convey what kind of wrenching isolation his lack of presence does to him. It seems to work because while he grumbles in annoyance, he can't sustain his gaze fully.
"Shinji… We saw someone die right before our eyes, too… But it's been two years since then… How long do you plan to beat yourself up over it? You're always at that spot behind the station, even though you don't hang out with the crowd there."
I bet you're lonely too. Come back.
"It doesn't matter. It was my fault, and it can't be erased. What difference does it make if I come to terms with it? It won't change anything. This isn't the same as what happened to Miki."
"Shinji…"
And I thought that would work… What is it going to take for you to accept?
Aragaki seems deflated nonetheless and his last words as he flees have no bite at all.
"That's enough, already. I just want to forget it ever happened."
Akihiko takes his time walking toward the stairs of the station near the grocery store and sits down, letting the blazing sun cook him alive for a while to shake the unease of their exchange. The scorching warmth reminds him of her, and that's comforting because at that moment, the thought of coming back all by himself to an empty sunless dorm where she's not and cook some food that won't taste at all like what Shinji can make just plain sucks.
Junpei eventually joins him, a large bag from the candy store in hand and a worried frown on his face.
"You okay dude?"
No.
"…Yeah, it's just damn hot, I had to sit for a minute."
Ruffling the strands that stick to his forehead, he gets up like this was all nothing except a bout of heat. Iori narrows his eyes at his purchase and looks at the sky.
"It's boiling outside, I think I'm going to take the monorail straight to the mall and give them to Mina-tan at work before all this melts. She's bound to get a break soon and perhaps I can apologize by taking her to the arcade. That way she can share with the girls when they go shopping after and they'll think I'm da man!"
Wow, how to twist a mistake into self-praise.
Akihiko chuckles all the same because that's an elaborate stretch that just might work.
"Don't let me keep you then."
He's not sure why he deviated from his usual recipes for his premade meals but he's going to blame all of this on his numerous mental associations that connect her to almost everything. There's the red ink of her handwriting on the fridge, those cookies he distinctly remembers smelling coming out of the oven at one point, the sunlight at the strip mall that felt like her arms around his neck the other morning and the crushing void her absence drapes like a blanket over him while he's cooking in the empty dorm.
Well, not quite by myself, at least the dog's here. It counts.
Koromaru seems to have a very pointed interest toward the sizzling chicken in the pan, head cocked to the side from his spot on the kitchen floor and Akihiko must admit that it does smell good. As a bonus, it seems fresh ginger is excellent at chasing off the noxious aftermath of Yamagishi's earlier baking attempt and the whole lobby is now very delicately fragranced.
It's not that he never adds seasonings to what he cooks, but it's usually a bit of black pepper and a dash of garlic for show and he calls it a day. The goal is to devour the results to chase the hunger and get the proper nutrients as per the plan he fleshed out; the flavors are for his restaurant outings when an actual chef takes care of it for him because he never was much of a cook except when it's functional.
He even added more vegetables than just the greens for iron he usually slips in in small amounts, because the ghost of Aragaki followed him in the grocery store and berated his protein obsessions like he used to do back then. It was quite the funky shopping experience, guided by two different invisible hands that seemed determined to torment him and nag at his loneliness by their lack of presence.
Finally done with everything, he starts packing his weekly lunch boxes so he can get on with the dishes and his homework but keeps a small bowl to snack on. Koromaru starts whining and paws his leg like he's afraid he's not going to get any.
"Let me taste it first, just to be sure."
It's somewhat spicy and it has some heat that feels like an aftertaste of sunlight but just enough, and it's delicious. It also definitely reminds him of her and that makes his head fill with explosions of red sparks.
I… have no idea how I managed this, and perhaps I can never do it again. But wow.
The dog seems to have the same reaction because he takes to his scraps like it's the best thing in the world and keeps asking for Akihiko's attention when he's done.
That should be him, here, feeding you something delicious, and if one day he does come back, you'll see the difference. But in the meantime, we'll make do, I guess.
Koromaru sits and yips at him, impatient for some ruffling and he obliges with a smile, Japanese history can take a hike for now.