Wrangling emotions is not his strong point, he's more of a fighter than a contemplative person. Sometimes Akihiko wishes he could shoot his evoker in his forehead and force what's crawling in his brain out in a bang; pummeling his feelings might make them stop wriggling and he's really good at breaking things.
Who cares if they spend time together?
There's no reason this should annoy him just because it's Shinji of all people; she has very little free time with all her engagements and perhaps him dropping at work is how they make time to chat in private. She hangs out with whoever she likes and he never minds; it's how she is, and he admires that about her.
He certainly has absolutely nothing to complain about; the two of them get their own moments in privacy and it's breathtaking, to say the least. But team bonding is important too, it's their lives at stake when everyone naps in a coffin and a leader needs to build a rapport to do the job efficiently, which she strives to do.
I'm the first to encourage this, too.
Aragaki is barely approachable by most people on a good day, especially since the incident, and yet Minako spun him around in short order with a dazzling smile and bubbly brute force. Perhaps that's how he started to mesh in with the others a bit too, coaxed by her to drop his walls, and that's a good thing. He needs to stick around.
At least Akihiko gets to fight tonight and hopefully forget the whole evening with some cleansing violence. Takeba's excited ramblings are living rent-free in his head, and it makes him grind his jaw whenever he reflects on them for a reason he can't figure out. It feels ridiculous because she's completely wrong and he knows it, yet he scowls and looks ahead distractingly as they walk to Tartarus, the urge to dig his knuckles into something is an itch he needs to scratch.
This is so irrational, but I can't stop thinking about it.
Junpei is being his usual boisterous self at the front, talking about his visit to his Chidorita after school or whatever silly nickname he invented this morning to designate their Strega hostage. He's loud and Shinji eventually lags at the back of the line to join him before they reach the gates, escaping the noisy party of juniors at the front.
"Who pissed in your ramen today?"
"…Rough day."
Its not exactly a lie.
Looking at him with a calculating glance, Shinji smirks.
"Too bad you missed your little firebrand looking like a walking nosebleed earlier, that would have shaken you out of your funk."
Akihiko snaps an elbow in his ribs a little hard in annoyance, Yukari's words echoing stronger at the back of his skull.
"…Don't talk about her like that!"
He's not supposed to know what he's referring to except he does, and he can't comment further without admitting his sneaky deception earlier. What would normally pass as just teasing now has a different flavor because of what he overheard, and Akihiko doesn't care much for it right now.
"I'm just saying… You sure know how to pick them Aki, she's something alright."
Shinji's smugness doesn't abate one bit because his ears are turning bright red, and he just loves getting a reaction out of him.
"I know, she's…"
There's some unease he can't explain meshing into his mental static when he notices his friend is smiling; he's looking absently at Minako further in front too. It's because she's the current subject of discussion, of course that's all it is, yet his brows furrow with some vague anger directed at himself for even being bothered by it. This is so stupid; Junpei could act in a similar way, and it would not annoy him one bit. Well, no, perhaps it would, but not like this.
When it's you it… riles me up for no reason.
And feeling irked at a gentle little grinmakes no sense, they discussed Minako numerous times before, Shinji is at the very least vaguely aware of them and he keeps roughly egging him on. Akihiko swallows the weirdness and tries to push it all aside when they enter Tartarus shoulder to shoulder; they got a job to do and it's hardly the time to get distracted when they risk their lives.
This whole ludicrous feeling of unease would be easier to digest if Shinji was acting like he used to, he always was one of the most predictable elements in his life. His chronic truancy comes with no need for a regular schedule, and he is up at odd hours now.
He'd skip classes and doze off on the school roof sometimes, but this is different.
The next morning, Aragaki is napping on the lounge sofa with Koromaru sprawled all over him like a fur blanket when they come back from their early run, making things awkward.
At least he's not awake. I'd never hear the end of it.
If he thought he looked a little funny the other night, he'd have a riot at the wild look in Akihiko's eyes and how bright his lips are. Sometimes Minako is pretty… affectionately assertive.
The dog flicks its ears but doesn't move and he mentally notes to slip him a choice bit of meat later in thanks. They sneak upstairs in subdued silence, and by the time Akihiko innocently comes back to prep his usual protein shake after a shower, Shinji's awake, brewing coffee.
"Hey, you up for some ramen tomorrow? It's been a while since we had a meal together. Just like old times."
Scowling at the coffee machine as if it offended him, his friend just sips his drink despite the copious steam indicating it's too hot for human consumption, cradling the cup in both hands like he's freezing.
"…Tch, we both got better stuff to do. Besides, isn't it that Culture Fest crap?"
Mixing his bottle, Akihiko can't help but ponder how much time Shinji really needs to get back to his old self.
It's like only the outline of you came back to the dorm. The rest is... elsewhere still.
"It's only during the day, we can go after. C'mon, my treat."
There's noise in the stairs and Aragaki gets out of the kitchen with a morose sigh, not even looking back when he replies.
"...Piss off, Aki."
Grumbling with disappointment, Akihiko hears Junpei accosting his retreating friend.
"Hey senpai! If you got nothing to do tonight, we're having a little video game brawl in the lobby! Let's see if you're a badass with a controller too!"
The comeback doesn't take long to fly, detached in tone.
"…I didn't move back at the dorm to pal around with you guys. I do my stuff, you do yours."
It's a slightly deflated Junpei who comes to rummage in the fridge and Akihiko winces a comment, apologetic.
"Don't take it personal, Iori. He's always like that."
Even with me now, apparently. And it sucks.
Brooding, Shinji hangs near the front windows to avoid the usual pre-school chaos, petting Koromaru and enjoying his beverage as if he's waiting for silence to finally exist again. To be fair, everyone's loudly commenting about the news looping on tv: there's a very large typhoon out at sea and it's unclear if it will hit inland yet.
It's only when they're about to leave that he moves from his solitary vigil and accosts Minako, who's the last on the way out, to speak to her. Turning around to check why she's lagging in the doorway, Akihiko frowns, tempted to overhear, as the other juniors continue toward the station as a group.
I shouldn't do that; it just perturbs me and it's not my business.
To his credit he tries to ignore it and even takes a few steps away from the dorm, but still catches some words about work, dropping by, what time and favor. A little voice that sounds suspiciously like Takeba starts whispering in the back of his mind about secrets, and he tenses all over, extremely annoyed.
Why can't I just stop thinking about what she said?
Minako suddenly beams brightly at Shinji as if he just offered her the moon, and he has that little gentle smirk on full force like he's so pleased with her reaction, making Akihiko's stomach roll and coil backward on itself for no good reason.
Deep down, he knows in part why this display irritates him but it's hard to swallow because it's childish. They warmed up to each other very fast while he was busy at the hospital, and he wasn't there to see it happen live. Now he's faced with an accomplished complicity that doesn't include him, it makes Shinji act in a way he never witnessed before and can't decipher, and it bothers him. A lot.
He breathes a few times to push the stupid unease out, berating the irrationality of it, he just talked to her and that shouldn't be weird. By the time the door shuts and Minako quickly catches up to him, Akihiko feels slightly recomposed, focusing on her rubies burning with excitement when she speaks to distract himself.
"I completely forgot to ask you earlier... I know there's that junior championship event you need to handle next Tuesday, but do you have anything planned afterward?"
That's a bit random.
"I don't think so, why?"
"Can you keep it this way? There's something I want to show you, and it's only available that specific day. It's really important, too."
What's unique to Tuesday?
"Of course."
The joy dancing in her eyes washes out the rest of his silliness and they quickly make their way to the station. It's when they cram on the monorail, mingling with the crowd to ride to school that it comes back like whiplash.
"Do you mind if we go for ramen a little later than usual? I need to drop at Chagall for a bit beforehand."
But you don't work on Fridays.
"No, that's fine... Does it have to do with what you talked about with Shinji?"
Now why did I ask that?
But she just smiles at his question and nods.
"Actually, yes, I need to talk to him about something and it's important. You know… He's really a nice person, I'm glad he's here."
Nice? That's not part of the first ten words I'd attach to him.
Everyone around them is talking about the storm or whispering about break and his mind is full of confusing echoes. He's watching the scenery to distract himself from the tightness in his ribs, letting the thoughts fizzle upward. Her hand slid into his glove earlier and he's holding her fingers tight against his, never wanting to let her go.
The whole school population is frantic because of the Culture Festival tomorrow, so Akihiko spends his lunchtime in the club room to flee the chaos, jotting notes in the stats binder in preparation for the upcoming junior event during break.
The team will do great, they drastically improved.
He's been very scatterbrained during class all morning and having less babbling floating around him helps him blank out his mind. Closing the binder once he's done disturbs the pile of papers nearby and makes the equipment expense forms for the semester fly off.
Why is this still here? This should have been delivered to the student council earlier this week.
Minako comes to mind immediately because she's in charge of collecting these, and she's currently spending lunch in the council room to help Mitsuru.
This sounds like the perfect excuse to see her, right now, and he quickly folds the sheet into its corresponding envelope before making his way over. She's sorting through paperwork when he cracks the door open, eyes catching fire as soon as she looks his way.
"Hey, what brings you here?"
Waving the envelope in his hand, he closes the door behind him.
"Big surprise; Edogawa dropped the ball again, figured I could be helpful. You work too hard."
It's true, but I just needed to see you.
She takes a few steps toward him and tugs playfully at his red vest, her matching eyes sparkling with happiness.
"You're a nice surprise, you should drop by more often."
There's absolutely nobody in the room right now; it's just her and a pile of forms and supplies; the rest of the council students must be all hands on deck to coordinate the stands in every corner of the school before tomorrow. Winking, she takes the envelope from his hands and turns around to file it where it's supposed to go in the cabinet near the door.
"Thank you, that saves me some time after class, this whole planning is nuts. I don't want to be late to Chagall, since-"
The uneasiness feels very surreal, a quick slap on something raw and painful as his mind makes some leaps. It's impulsive and for all the wrong reasons, but Akihiko gently takes her hand and spins her around, leaning in to kiss her suddenly. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she leans into it with a dreamy sigh when he pins her against the wall behind the door, his arms wrapping around her frame to hold her close.
I can't even explain, but deep down I…
There's an undercurrent of desperation to his touch, imprinting the feel of him on her, his shaking fingers digging gently into her uniform jacket. Its foolish, really, why he feels so possessive suddenly, but he can't shake the urge to immolate in everything that's her and it's maddening.
I just want to be selfish.
There's usually a tentative buildup to how they do this, but he goes straight to licking across her lips and entwining his tongue around hers like he'll die otherwise; only that closeness will soothe the invisible wound and she's only too happy to oblige. She hums into his mouth and pulls on his shirt lapels with both hands hard, trembling when Akihiko uses a hand at the small of her back to push her frame further into him.
It's because it's you. All of you.
There's no rope anymore, no bar suspended in the air as a safety net, and he can't seem to care about where they are right now. Out of breath and intoxicated with the burning taste of her, he trails open-mouthed kisses down to her throat and her knees buckle when his teeth graze its curve, a wordless gasp escaping her lips. He moves to her pulse, savoring the quick fluttering and broiling his sanity with the flowery smell of her skin as her nails bite the back of his neck. His lips latch on the burning silk and there's a flash of red velvet under green haze through his brain with all its tantalizing suggestions, tempting him to suck on her warm flesh harder, until it leaves a mark for all to see.
Ask first, you need to ask first.
He's too dizzy to find words and articulate anything, but that little glimpse of sanity is enough that he avoids applying too much force with his lips.
It's fortunate, or not, that the doorknob rattles at that moment and they part in a confused shuffle. They both look a bit too rumpled and dazed, her uniform jacket is all askew and he quickly tries to straighten it for her before whoever enters gets through the doorway, mortified. She picks at her bow absently while biting her cheek, slipping on a flimsy mask of polite attention to her friend, while he tries to slow his heartbeat to something that won't explode.
Please don't be Mitsuru. Please don't be Mitsuru.
"Hi Chihiro, did you need something?"
The lithe treasurer enters the room tentatively and suddenly clamps her folder tighter against her chest with both hands when she spots him, wide-eyed.
It's all over my face, clearly.
She folds inward and blushes furiously, looking back at Minako with blinking eyes.
"Umm, I… Oh, um… Sanada-senpai i-is here?"
Suddenly very uncomfortable with the way Minako's neck glistens slightly still and the enormity of his impulsive slip up, at school no less, he sidesteps to the exit and goes fishing for any kind of answer to gracefully exit.
"I was just…"
Losing my mind. Clearly.
Her rubies are so vividly dark and full of questions when she meets his gaze that he forgets what he wanted to say and slips through the door quickly, almost bumping into Odagiri who's coming toward the room. The hard black eyes stare at him quizzically and turn to Chihiro, who's so flushed she looks ill.
"Fushimi, is everything alright?"
"Y-yes, nothing h-happened, don't get the wrong idea senpai!"
He hears her panicked little voice clearly despite walking fast through the corridor. Those words send his mind spinning backward in time to sometimes in spring, and the feeling that was gnawing at him even back then.
"Is it true you're going out with Junpei?"
Even way before everything, the thought of her being with anyone, much less Iori, made his flesh crawl. Akihiko lost a lot of sleep over it; just watching the two of them have fun together filled him with some irrational turmoil that it wasn't him. Now he has a label to attach to that feeling, it's the same unease he feels now despite what they currently share.
I'm jealous.