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We continued onwards after the devil had disappeared from the road. I think we were all as reeling as each other. It was a lot to take in. Our plight, as much as it had seemed to be our own, was clearly more widespread than we realised. Except that we had control still. And that was what I think drew the devil to our door. Raphael wanted to use our predicament to his advantage – and as much as he had talked, he hadn't actually said what the price would be. Of course not. That would come later. In bloodied small print and a snatching claw of victory. But still… We potentially had another route out of all this, if everything else turned out to be folly. Which I admit, had crossed my mind.
The creche was just over that next ridge. Or rather, the temple where we had heard the creche was based. The closer we got the more I could sense Lae'zel's impatience. This had been her goal since we left the nautiloid. Since she knew where she was. I hoped her people welcomed her like she wanted them to, or prayed they would? It was hard to tell with her sometimes how deep a want went. Was it a passing thing? A trusted thing? I couldn't tell, and I sensed the others couldn't either. On top of that I wasn't sure exactly what to expect – she kept saying we could be cured within the Creche, but trusting that was difficult. Seemed more likely the Gith would want us dead, rather than cured. But it was time to put some trust in our companion, so I kept my mouth shut and followed–
Pain.
Ringing filled my mind.
My knees smacked against the stone track and I curled over on myself. My breaths guttered, choked. My voice thin as I cried out in agony. But I wasn't alone, they were all doing the same, all around me, all of us seemingly struck by the same thing. Gale clasped his head, teeth bared. Karlach was much the same, only she looked more panicked as her eyes met mine. Shadowheart was whimpering, muttering prayers. Lae-zel was straight faced, jaw clenched tight but the odd groan escaped her. And Astarion was pale, pursing his lips and looking to me. I met his gaze. As horrible as this was, at least we weren't alone. But what the hell was happening–
I jolted.
My vision went dark.
A voice. Echoing, enormous, sourceless, it bellowed unknowable words that rattled my skull. And then they appeared. Three figures. I knew they weren't really there, but their silhouettes loomed like nightmares all the same. Three chosen. Three faces we had to know and deal with in turn. An elf, a man and a woman. But she wasn't human. Not really. Something in my gut told me that, and her silhouette turned my blood cold. I knew her somehow. Or something in me seemed to. And it was afraid of her, very afraid. Panic. It seized me like a vice and while the others were clearly still beside me, still on the road, nowhere near these figures in reality, I had never felt more cornered. At least, not in my memory. True fear. It flooded my system and my mouth ached in that way it does before you vomit. Why do I know her? Why do I fear her?
Alone. Like the earth just opened under me and swallowed my entire being. Darkness. I only know darkness and cold. Iron bars. Laughing. Blood. Shit, why is there always so much blood? No. Please. Please make it stop. I have to get out. Don't bury me, don't leave me down here, don't make this all there is.
What?
My mind cleared.
What was that?
Like I had stepped into someone else's body, akin to when memories flickered into place in the Spider Cavern. I'm not alone. Not really. Stop it. I'm on the road to the creche with my allies, with those that have travelled with me. Just focus on that.
As the pain subsided and my sight returned to normal, I tried to take deeper breaths. But my lungs kept spasming. Like I had run a mile. And that woman. Damn it. Her visage remained in place. Stuck. Branded. And I was still on the ground, staring ahead as the others began to come back to themselves, looking around to confirm that we were all released from that strange episode. But I couldn't move. My fingers curled, as if my hands wished to make fists, but I just scraped against the stonework and shuddered. Laughter. I could hear laughter. Was it hers? Did I actually know this woman and not simply know of her? Shit. Who was she? Or is she?
A hand touched my shoulder and I flinched away. All my body wanted to do was flee, run, get away from anything and everything. Astarion was very still, watching me closely, his hand outstretched. I tried to speak. To explain that it hadn't been him I was afraid of. But the words stalled. My voice was stolen by that outright terror. That woman. Whoever the hell she was, had been a part of my past somehow. My body trembled from head to toe, and now the others had started to notice my reaction. Suspicion bubbled. Of course it did after what had happened last night, but it wasn't Astarion. He had done nothing wrong.
"That… Woman…" I choked and shuddered, breathing faster as I closed my eyes and saw the silhouette. The image alone lit every instinct to flee inside of me."Sh-Shit…"
Astarion knelt, but didn't approach. "Breathe."
I tried.
It took a couple attempts, but grew easier.
He spoke again. "It was a vision of some sort. None of those people are here, whoever the hell they were. You're safe, Little One."
Little One. He had called me that a couple times, first when he saw me outside the Nautiloid. At the time it had confused me, but now it was a welcome familiarity. I clung to it. He knew me. I knew him. We had travelled together, been through a lot together, and he was telling me I was amongst friends. Trust that. Find the solid ground beneath it and hold on. Right. Breathe.
"I…" I gulped and reached, clasping his arm and holding tight. Probably too tight, but he didn't object. "I know that woman."
They all shared a look.
I swallowed hard, accepting some water from Karlach. "Didn't you all see her in the vision?"
"I did." Astarion confirmed and the others nodded. "How do you know her?"
"I… I can't be sure. But she's laughing, I can feel it in my head like a damn drum. Laughing." I sipped again and closed my eyes, opening them as the image seared back at me along with a nauseating grin. "I know her the same way you know a fuckin' nightmare."
Karlach smiled softly. "Pretty sure I knew one of them too, Soldier."
"How? D-Do you know how?"
"Sure. He was the prick that sold me to Zariel."
I winced. Suddenly feeling very foolish for my intangible fear. But that wasn't how she would see it, and I knew that in her ongoing soft smile in my direction.
She shrugged. "Gortash. He's a high roller in the city, piece of shit had my trust and he used me. He's pure shite." Karlach sighed and then glanced to the others. "Anyone know the others?"
They shook their heads.
I hung mine. "I dunno how, but I know she's bad news. Very bad. I… It's like I can't move. My knees are filled with w-water."
Lae'zel approached and loomed over me. "They are not filled with water."
"I–"
"They are strong. Like the rest of your body and your mind. Do not let these delusions get in the way of that. Get up."
I tried, my legs crumpled under me.
She bared her teeth. "Get up."
Astarion stood and held a hand out. "There's no need to be so–"
Lae'zel slapped the hand. "She can get onto her feet herself. Pale Elf, you are not some soft touch fool, do not become one out of something so fickle as guilt. You apologised for your folly, and it was accepted. This has nothing to do with that. She is allowing the image of this woman to scare her to this extent? We cannot allow that."
He closed his mouth and looked to me, a sorry look in his eyes but he did not reach out again. I looked down. I braced against the ground. Lae'zel was brutal, but she was right. An image. That was all it had been. Fair enough it had been forced into our minds by some terrifying unknown source. But the three figures didn't seem to be that force itself. If anything, the force was either warning us of them, or trying to scare us with them. And I was playing into that.
"Sorry." I ground out, getting onto my feet and forcing myself upright. I wavered. I shivered. But I stayed upright and set my jaw tight. "You're right."
Shadowheart crossed her arms. "Debatable. But we do need to move."
Lae'zel glared. "She's on her feet, that is what is importan–"
"Or her fear is something to note. What else does this woman flinch from? Not much." Shadowheart rolled her eyes. "You're just being impatient because we're close to the creche. I'm glad you're upright, Amne, but we shouldn't ignore that fear of yours. I don't take it lightly."
I nodded and did my best to knock the laughter out of my mind. It wasn't so loud now. It had dimmed to only echoes. Alright. Just take it one step at a time. One step. And nothing else. We fell back into our tread and made for the creche, the sun at our backs and no sign of another vision. Astarion kept glancing at me, and I gave a soft smile. He hadn't been anything to do with my fear. My flinch had been something else entirely. I hoped he knew that.
Safe to say, getting into the creche was a pain in the arse. But it wasn't nearly as bad as what followed.
Firstly we were sneered at by every single Gith, I narrowly avoided punching out a trainer who was about to slaughter a damned student, and even Lae'zel seemed put out by how we were being treated. But finally we had found our way to the infirmary. The doctor regarded us with the same snobbery, but she did at least seem to have the cure that Lae'zel had been hoping for.
Purification they called it. But as we stood before the machine, my blood turned cold. Something about it was horribly familiar. And as I stared at it, my mind ached with the notion of seeing similar parts elsewhere. On the Nautiloid. It made sense that Gith tech might hold some resemblance, sure, but this was more than a resemblance. This was an echo. A warning.
But there was no holding Lae-Zel back. This was her choice, her decision, and really none of us had any right to stop her. She climbed the stairs and got into the machine. It hummed, it closed in around her, and I held my breath. Please, let me be wrong. Let this work. Let her be alright and for this to be the cure we've been hoping for…
And then it began.
Every limb of the machine tensed, and I could see the pain written on our ally's face immediately. That wasn't necessarily a sign of danger, but it hardly helped. We all watched. The machine grew louder, and Lae'zel bared her teeth. She was in so much pain. And the machine didn't seem to be doing anything but creating more.
It seemed to go on forever.
How could this actually be helping?
Karlach shook her head. "This is killing her!"
And it rippled through the whole group. We were all thinking it, fearing it, seeing it. This wasn't helping, it was tearing her apart and the doctor looked pleased about it.
As Lae'zel continued to struggle, her teeth gritted so tight she looked ready to crush them. She wasn't about to listen to us though. She wanted this to be true. No. She needed it to be true. Because if it wasn't, if this was all a ploy to simply kill the infected instead of purify them, then so many other things in her life, her culture, could also be a lie. That was too much for anyone to handle, let alone someone as dedicated as Lae'zel. So I stopped saying anything. Instead, I showed her. Not only my fears for her life, the emotion ripping through my thoughts, but also the way I recognised the look on this doctors face. That wasn't someone watching their work come to fruition in terms of curing, that was the look of someone enjoying punishment. Someone drinking in the agony of another and relishing. I hoped it was enough. Losing Lae'zel to this would be awful. Especially when she had pinned so much hope on it.
I reached. My mind latched on and I let it all flow. I knew I was wavering on the spot, as Astarion took my arm and held tight. If he was talking to me, I couldn't hear a damn word. But as an arm wrapped round me, supporting me, I had to wonder if he realised what I was doing and was trying to help. Warmth appeared on my other side, close by. That had to be Karlach. I focused on the comradery we had all shown, how well we had fought, how hard we had all shown we would struggle together. As much as Lae'zel confused me at times, or her culture's harshness worried me, I knew she was good. Steadfast. Loyal. And I wanted her to know that within us as well. As wayward as our group was, we had stuck together. And we would continue to do so.
At first, she refused. Because of course she did. It wouldn't be Lae'zel without that defiance. But then I snuck by those defences and I knew she was watching, because her cries became more desperate. Her mind more scattered. Shit, how can it be true? No. NO! Panic surged through her, and it was such an alien concept to her mind that it made me feel like my own might give way. But I held on. I let her search my own mind for falsehood, for deception, because there was none. None at all. I was sincere. We all were. And we just wanted her to be safe. Please. Don't leave us Lae'zel, we need you in this fight, and beyond that, we want you in this fight! We appreciate your strength! We value you!
Boom.
I was thrown back, Astarion falling with me as we were pushed aside by some great force. It wasn't even clear to me what had happened, all I knew was I was on the floor, sprawled against Astarion, my ears ringing with a high pitch squealing. And the machine was no longer humming. I blinked. My vision cleared enough to show the machine smoking on the podium, and then I could hear the doctor crying out for her work. Lae'zel was staggering back from the machine. But she was upright. That much at least was clear. No doubt there had been damage done, but we would tend to her when we could. And right now, we stood in the belly of a creche. A fight awaited.
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