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The Glass Horse:
The Suitor, Continued Again
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June 482
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I awoke to the swaying of the ship. I felt my stomach lurching, but there was little I could do about it as my arms were still bound, tied now to something large behind me. At least the gag is gone, I thought as I lost the battle and all of the food and wine I'd consumed the night before soaked into the front of my gown.
Choking and sputtering on vomit, I jerked up into a sitting position as much I could manage. The injury on the back of my head throbbed more with every heave. By the end of it I was sobbing, wanting nothing more than to have my arms loose enough that I could wipe my mouth.
"Deep breaths, Lia," Wil said from behind me. He moved the back of his hand to rest against mine, and I realized that he was the something large that I was tied to. "Try to calm down."
The skin contact and his words were enough to help me calm myself. I leaned back against him, breathing deeply. Neither of us spoke for a time. I used the silence to appeal to the gods for help.
"How old was it?" Wil whispered, startling me from my prayers.
"What?" I asked, willing my brain to catch up with my ears.
"That tiara. How old was it?"
"At least two hundred years," I told him.
"And the bracelet?" Wil continued trying to distract me from having a panic attack.
"That was Grandmother Thayet's, on loan to me for the ball," I said, trying not to cry as I was flooded with memories of my dear grandfather.
"Thank you," Wil said quietly. "For getting them to bring me too."
"I couldn't just leave you wounded on the beach. I'm just glad those two went for the bribe." He grunted and I took a moment to listen to his labored breathing. "How do you feel?"
"Like I was stabbed by a pirate," he quipped. I felt a brief sense of relief that he was well enough to tell jokes, but then he sighed and admitted he was in pain. "It's not good, Lia."
The backs of our hands were still touching, so I twisted as much as my bindings would allow until my fingers were grasping his tightly. My Gift was feeling sluggish and weak after the spell I'd done for light in the catacombs. I reached for my magic nonetheless, prodding the injury gently. It was a neat stab wound, one that still bled slowly. I was relieved that his lungs and ribs seemed to be unharmed, though I knew that would mean nothing if our captivity went on too long and infection set in.
I urged the trickle of magic that I could muster to stem the bleeding and help the wound close. Being what it was, my Gift worked slowly and refused to stitch the skin and muscles back together completely. It did, however, stop the bleeding, a victory I was grateful for.
"You should have saved your magic, Lia," Wil said sleepily.
"It was barely a tickle to begin with," I replied. "I don't know how much good I did you, but I had to try."
"It feels much better," Wil said. "Cool and tingly instead of the fire that was there before."
"Good. Try to sleep, Wil."
He scoffed softly. "I don't have time to sleep; I need to plan how to single-handedly win a fight against thirty pirates and then row you to safety, My Queen."
"I don't think I'm getting to safety," I confessed, tightening my grasp on Wil's hand.
"We have to get through this," he said, sounding closer to sleep. "I want to kiss you again."
"I want that too," I whispered, and Wil finally drifted off. Between the traumatic events of the evening and the magic I spent healing, I wanted to give in to slumber as well, but instead I forced myself to listen to Wil's breathing to make sure it was steady.
We were so far below deck that I didn't even have a porthole or window to tell me how long we'd been captive. Eventually delirium set in, and I swept in and out of consciousness. I remember being force-fed watery porridge twice during our stay in the brig. I was also roused and forced into the corner to use a chamber pot, an experience that was too dreadful to commit to memory.
The next time I woke it was to needle-sharp pricks in my lap. I opened my eyes to see a black cat kneading my skirts. I blinked heavily trying to discern what was real and what was illusion. I had convinced myself that the cat was a figment of my imagination when it turned its violet eyes to me. Relief poured into my very soul in that moment. If Faithful was here, then so was help.
I squeezed Wil's hand to let him know that it was going to be alright, but he didn't respond, and I dared not even whisper the news to him, lest I alert any nearby pirates.
Nothing happened for a long time. I was simply left to listen to the sound of Faithful's purring and Wil's uneven wheezing.
Then suddenly, everything happened at once. Queen, Cat, and barrister alike were enveloped in a bubble of silvery magic. Brace yourselves, Faithful commanded. Seconds later the ship blew apart around us, an explosion of black and violet magics. I shuddered, knowing that I would have nightmares from the sight of half-burned vicious pirates flying through the air. The bubble hovered a couple dozen feet above the ocean, and I couldn't help but watch as some of the ship's crew surfaced and began to clutch onto debris from the explosion.
The survivors cried out as a massive ship appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. The Gilded Griffin was one of the Royal Navy's fastest ships, now free of the disillusion spells that had allowed it to overtake the pirate vessel without being detected.
I made out Master Numair Salmalín and the Lioness themselves on board, both wielding magic. One of them seemed to be in control of my bubble, for it glided down gently to the deck of the ship, landing near their feet before dissolving with a soft pop. They both turned to deal with the remaining pirates. Sarralyn, who had been watching fretfully beside her father, rushed forward to free me from my bindings.
I must have been a sight, with my torn, vomit-covered party dress, wild hair, and smudged face paints. It felt like months had passed since the ball, yet here I was in the same attire. Sarralyn didn't seem to care, for as soon as Faithful hopped off my lap and up onto the Lioness's shoulders, my friend pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. "Lia, I am so sorry-" she began.
"Later," I interrupted, turning to Wil. "Help me with him?" Sarralyn nodded and we both began to pick at the knot in his ropes, her with her belt-knife and me with trembling fingers. Now that I could see Wil's face, dread was setting in. I had never seen anyone so pale, and his breathing was faint. We'd almost gotten him free when I heard the voice of the healer that I'd grown up calling "Uncle Neal."
"Let me see to the queen," he called, pushing his way through the ship's crew to get to me. The knight had chosen not to follow in his father's footsteps and take over as the chief healer of the realm, but through his friendship with my parents he had ended up being the preferred healer for our small branch of the royal family.
"I'm fine," I insisted, trying and failing to stand on my traitorous, wobbly legs.
"My dear, you look like a fish someone was cleaning for their supper," Uncle Neal quipped, reaching towards me with his magic.
"A bath and some fresh clothes will do me a world of good," I said stubbornly, shifting out of the way of a group of men who were trying to help. They gently transferred Wil onto a cot and carried him into one of the cabins nearby. "Barrister Wiliem is much worse off. Please help him first."
"Come now; he'll be seen to by one of the navy healers. You know your mother would want me to tend to you personally."
"That's because she trusts you, as do I," I argued as Sarralyn helped me stand. "I want you with him."
"They are plenty trustworthy, my young queen," Uncle Neal drawled.
The back of my head was throbbing again. I grew dizzy and my legs gave out once more, and with them went my patience. I hauled myself up, ignoring a wave of nausea as I clung to Sarralyn's shoulder. "Wiliem of Masbolle sustained his injuries whilst saving my life." I drew on every bit of height, strength, and authority that I had left, throwing it all into my voice. "It is my wish that he be seen to by you. Now, please."
The Lioness had been half-observing us as she cast her magic. She ended her current spell and came to my other side. "Go on, Neal. Numair and the Own can bring in the rest of those soggy pirates. I'll see to Lianokami."
My Auntie Kel stood at the door to the room where they'd taken Wil. "Wiliem is family, Neal."
Uncle Neal held my gaze for a moment, then looked between myself, Sarralyn, and the lady knights. He sighed dramatically, turning on his heel. "It's my lot to be surrounded by stubborn women," he mumbled as he followed Kel into the room.
"And it's good for him," Lady Alanna, leading me away. I was soon settled in a small, neat room. The bedding consisted of crisp, white linens. Sarralyn fussed with my clothes, ushering me into clean garments, while the Lioness looked me over. It turned out I did need some healing, particularly where the pirate called Heb had hit me in the back of my head.
"That's a nasty wound, but you'll survive," Lady Alanna said, tying off the bandage she'd wound around my skull. "You'd better get comfortable, because with the healing you've just had, you'll sleep well."
"Thank you, my lady," I said, forming the words around a yawn.
"Don't thank me just yet," she said with a grimace. "I had to cut your hair a bit to get at the wound, and I'm no stylist."
"That's easy enough to tend to when we get home," Sarralyn said, sounding overly cheerful for my benefit. I barely heard her as I rested my head against the pillow. My last thought before drifting off was a quick, sleepy prayer for Wil's healing.
…..
When I awoke again the ship had stopped swaying. As soon as I stirred, Sarralyn bolted out of the chair she'd been occupying. "Lia, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there. I should have stayed-" she began again.
"Stop," I said, holding up a hand. "Don't you dare apologize for being with your family. Helanni did just as she was supposed to. Where is she? I'd like to thank her in person."
"Lia, Helanni is dead," Sarralyn whispered. My heart dropped.
"Oh, no," I breathed, thinking of my dear friend and guardian. "How many others?"
"None. Helanni kept them all safe. She's a hero." I nodded. I felt like crying, but no tears came. Sarralyn's arms closed around me, and I let her hug me as a numb feeling settled over me with the news.
"May the Black God watch over her," I whispered at last.
"So mote it be," Sarralyn added, wiping away her own tears. "Are you alright? Sir Nealan wanted to be notified as soon as you woke up. I should get him."
"I feel better than I did before my nap. How long was I asleep?" I asked, noticing the dim sunlight that was peeking around the shutters.
"Almost two full days," Sarralyn answered. She opened the door and conversed briefly with the guard outside, then came back to her chair next to me. "We're in Port Caynn now. The crew has spread the word that the ship is docked for repairs. No one in the city knows you're on board, so you'll be able to rest here safely for as long as you need."
"And Wil?" I asked, at last giving voice to the question that had been gnawing at me even in my sleep. Sarralyn didn't get a chance to respond, as a knock sounded on the door, signaling the arrival of Uncle Neal. I sat obediently as he poked and prodded me, making sure the Lioness's healing was up to his standards. It took every ounce of restraint that I had left, but I waited until Uncle Neal was finally satisfied that I was healing properly before I asked after Wil again.
"The boy is quite ill," he said with a sigh, sinking into Sarralyn's chair. She was perched next to me on the bed now. "His injury was severe, and his body is so busy trying to mend itself that it doesn't seem to realize that we've healed it with magic. He needs more care than I or Lady Alanna are trained to give him, so when we made port last night, she and Kel hired a wagon and took him on ahead to the hospital at the Royal University."
"Will he be alright?"
"Well, it's still dicey, but he'll have a better chance at the University than anywhere else."
"I see." I couldn't think of anything better to say. First Helanni, and now Wil was likely to join her in the Land of the Dead. Sarralyn stayed quiet but pressed her shoulder against mine comfortingly.
"You saved his life on that ship, you know," Neal said after a moment.
"How could I have?" I asked, searching his face with my eyes. "My magic was barely enough to stop his bleeding. I didn't actually heal anything."
"You did enough. He would have died hours before you were rescued if he'd lost any more blood," Uncle Neal spoke placidly. "It's because of you that he has a chance at all."
"You're a hero too," Sarralyn said in agreement. I shook my head sadly, certain that Wil wouldn't be lying in a hospital bed now if I had truly saved him.
"Believe it or don't. Either way, you did a wonderful thing," Neal said. "Now, I am going to send in some food. I want you to eat every bite. I'll have the crew heat some water for a bath so you can get cleaned up more before your mother arrives."
My head whipped up, and I winced at a sharp ache. He reached for my neck with glowing fingers, pausing to get my approval before allowing his cool magic to chase away the headache that my concussion caused. "My mother is coming here?" I asked when the pain had dulled.
"We tried to talk her into waiting for you in Corus, but she would not be swayed. My wife is accompanying her. They left this morning, so should be arriving in a couple of hours or so," Uncle Neal said. "With Your Majesty's permission, I will attempt to intercept her upon arrival long enough to explain the injuries and healings you've had, and to try to soothe away any worries she is still harboring before she sees you."
"That would be much appreciated," I told him. "I can only imagine how sick with worry she must have been this whole time."
"Yuki said it was…intense, but your brother and grandmother helped her through it." I nodded, treating my head with care this time. "I'll send in that food and a tea to help your head," Uncle Neal continued, patting my hand. "Eat and get cleaned up but try to take it easy. I want another days' rest under your belt before you even think about traveling home."
"Thank you, Uncle Neal. For me, and for Wil." He nodded deeply and then left.
The food he sent in was nothing special, but after my healings it tasted like the best meal I'd ever eaten. I especially enjoyed a tiny pastry that was stuffed with bits of apple and rolled in chunks of sugar before it was baked.
The bath was ready by the time I'd finished eating. Sarralyn helped me remove the clothes she'd gotten me into when we were still at sea. I was happy to see them go, as they smelled as bad as I did. The hot water was delightful, and I spent the first twenty minutes simply soaking, resting my head on a pillow Sarralyn stuffed between me and the edge of the wooden tub.
After a while I scrubbed with sweet, strong soap. I wasn't sure what the scent was, but I did pick up hints of my favorite lavender.
Once clean, I asked Sarralyn to fetch a mirror so that I could inspect the damage that had been done to my hair. She propped the mirror up on the chair beside me and went in search of a comb. I glanced at my reflection while I waited. Instead of my own face, I saw my father as he had looked the day he died, blue eyes open in shock and head bandaged to hide the wound that had killed him.
Most of the time I could feel one of my panic attacks coming, but this one took effect instantly, commandeering my entire body. I froze, eyes locked on the imaginary ones of my father in the mirror. I couldn't talk, couldn't breathe, couldn't move. It was though I was paralyzed. Sarralyn heard me gasp airlessly and turned to look. She cried out, dropping the bag she was holding.
She was at my side in an instant, urging me to breathe, or blink, or move in any way. My ears roared and I felt dizzy. I was very vaguely aware of her shoving smelling salts under my nose, but they had no effect. She pinched my arm sharply, but all I felt was a breeze. Just before I blacked out, I heard the sound of glass breaking and Sarralyn swearing softly.
The panic attack's hold on me faded as I took in the sight of the broken mirror. With my father's eyes gone I could breathe again. Sarralyn sunk down next to me, watching my face to make sure I was truly getting air. She was pale, and her eyes shone with the tears she was holding back.
"I'm okay," I said hoarsely, reaching to give her hand a squeeze. She nodded tensely.
"What was it?" she asked. "You were fine one second, and not breathing the next."
I nodded towards the glass shards on the floor. "The mirror. I saw my face, and the bandage- I looked just like my father the day he died." I whispered the last few words, afraid that they'd beckon for another attack, but the absence of the mirror seemed to steady me. "That was smart thinking, breaking the mirror," I told Sarralyn.
"It was an accident. I caught it with my elbow when I turned." Our eyes met, and both of us dissolved into soft laughter, more out of relief than amusement.
"Thank you for being clumsy, then," I said.
"Thank you for breathing again," she returned. I was about to ask her to help me get the bandage off, but the words were lost by a commotion outside of the door. It culminated in a shout of "Neal, move aside and let me see my daughter!"
"Your mother is here," Sarralyn said softly.
"Help me get the bandage off," I said, reaching for its ends. Sarralyn came to my aid quickly and was pulling the cloth away when my mother entered the room. She stood with her back against the door she'd just entered, staring at me as she removed her hood. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I just said a soft "Hello."
"You're alright," she said. It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyways. Mother knelt beside the wooden tub and took my face in her hands, looking me over to reassure herself that I was whole. "My sweet girl," she said, resting her forehead against mine. I drew comfort from the touch, ignoring the sounds of Sarralyn as she cleaned up the broken mirror. Mother kissed my forehead, then looked at my friend.
"Thank you for caring for my daughter, Miss Salmalín," my mother said, pulling her into a hug of her own. "It eases my heart to know Lianokami has a friend like you at her side."
"We were just about to see to her hair, ma'am," Sarralyn said when she was free again. She retrieved the comb and a pair of shears, passing them off to my mother, then looked to me. "I'll be just outside if you need me," she told me, heading for the door.
"Thank you, Sar."
After gently washing my hair with more of the lavender soap, Mother helped me out of the bath and into a clean nightgown. Then she urged me onto a chair and had me sit up straight so that she could even out my hair with the shears.
We sat in silence for a time, Mother combing and snipping my poor hair, while I wished desperately that I could make my brain stop overthinking everything that had happened in the last few days.
"We're alone, you know. It's okay to have a good cry," Mother said at last. I immediately burst into tears, as if I'd only been waiting for her permission. She dropped the tools and gathered me into her arms, succumbing to her own tears. The story of everything that had happened since the Midsummer Ball began spilling from my lips. I told her every detail- from Wil's kiss during to our rescue from captivity.
"That sounds terrifying. I am so glad that you are safe," Mother said weepily.
"I've never been so scared. I can't believe I wasn't in a panic the whole time." I thought for a moment. "Maybe it was because Wil needed me?"
My mother had been watching me thoughtfully while I spoke. "You really care for him, don't you?" she asked gently.
I nodded and confessed, "I think I love him."
"Sometimes love makes us do things we thought were impossible," she said, pulling me in for a tighter hug. "My babies were the reason I kept going after your father died."
"You were exactly what we needed," I told her, still thinking about my ordeal. "I just don't understand why the panic attacks are coming now that the danger is over. The one I had today was awful- maybe the worst I've ever had. I completely lost it when I saw that bandage around my head. I really wish Sarralyn had gotten it off before you came in."
"I understand," she said, tucking a shortened lock of hair behind my ear. "I caught a glimpse when I came in, and I saw your father in it too."
"I am sorry, Mother. I didn't want you to see me like that," I told her.
"It's alright, my brave girl. You are safe now, and that is what is most important to me. We'll get you on your feet and you'll be back to overworking yourself running the kingdom in no time."
I tutted softly, my thoughts turning to how it would feel to return to work without Wil and Helanni at my side. "I think I'd feel better if I had an update on Wiliem," I said to Mother, mostly to distract myself.
"We can ask, but I don't think there has been any news yet. I'm sure the healers at the University are doing everything they can."
I nodded, knowing that was all there was to do.
…..
Two days after the ship docked in Port Caynn I boarded a carriage and began the journey home. I felt a great deal better, but Uncle Neal insisted that I keep resting. Mother and I rode in the carriage with Sarralyn and Uncle Neal's wife, and the carriage itself was surrounded by five squads of the King's Own.
"So much for traveling stealthily," I whispered to Sarralyn.
"At least we're not traveling with pirates," she whispered back. The other five squads of the Own's First Company had marched out the previous morning, towing the pirates that they had rounded up after their ship exploded. They were to escort them to Corus to await trial.
"That's true," I agreed. Privately I felt that being trapped in the carriage wasn't much better. My mother and Lady Yuki chattered briskly in Yamani while Sarralyn sighed out the window every time she saw a flock of birds she couldn't join. I tried to read a book until my head started to hurt, then took a nap to pass the time.
A surprise in the form of mounted riders awaited me a mile or so outside of the city gates. At the front, my brother was standing in his stirrups, waving excitedly as he waited with my Uncle Liam. Behind them the rest of First Company was lined up, ready to join my already hefty escort through the city. I hugged Kazu tearfully, wondering when he had gotten so tall that he matched my height.
My uncle gave me a much briefer hug, and then reassured me that my duties had been seen to in my absence. While we chatted, Uncle Liam sent my brother on a quick errand. When he returned he was leading my horse, Marigold. Descended from one of my grandfather's favorite steeds, my mare was all black, with bright yellow eyes that had earned her the floral name.
"Liam, she is still healing. She needs to rest," Mother began, but Uncle Liam was ready for her objections.
"Rumors are spreading, Shinko. The people need to see that their queen is alright. We have plenty of guards with us, and the Provost's people have been put on alert as well. They'll be stationed across the city. Lianokami will be perfectly safe."
Mother looked at me appraisingly and I could tell she was about to protest, but Uncle Neal came over before she could really start in.
"A few miles in the saddle won't hurt her healing if she takes it easy," he said, and I felt a surge of appreciation for him. "Prince Liam is right that it would do the people good to see her."
Mother sighed, glancing at me again. "I suppose if she feels up to it."
I stood a little taller, eager to prove that I was up to my escape from the carriage. "I do, I promise." In the back of my mind I began preparing myself to mount up even without her approval.
"Alright, then. I will require a horse as well," Mother conceded, and Kazu scrambled off to find her a spare mount.
We rode out again with me flanked on one side by Sarralyn, and the other by my brother and mother. My uncles, both real and honorary, joined us, with the Own spread out alongside and behind us. It felt very much like how I'd left the city when I'd gone on Progress at the beginning of the summer.
I agreed with Uncle Liam that it would be good for the people of Corus to see me up and about after everything that had happened, but I didn't realize how much it would bolster my own spirits. Children cheered and waved, and grownups called out well-wishes. One woman even complimented my shortened hair.
Despite the boost in my mood, I was growing weary by the time we reached the palace. I was happy to hand over Marigold's reins and head straight in. My rest was delayed, as Grandmother Thayet and all my little cousins swarmed me almost as soon as I'd entered my private sitting room.
I had hoped that I was past crying, but I was assaulted by more tears when I saw my grandmother. I tearfully explained and apologized for losing her precious bracelet. She pulled me into a hug tighter than my mother's had been. "Don't think on it for one moment. You are much more precious to me," she whispered. Grandmother pulled back, taking me in. She brushed away my tears with her thumbs, then nodded amicably at my mother. "Our girl needs a hot meal and a good night's sleep in her own bed."
I barely remember the meal or getting to my room. I slept soundly through the whole night and straight on until midday. After making sure I was fed and dressed, Mother asked if I would like to attend a service to honor Lady Helanni. Her family had plans to travel to Meron and bury their daughter the next morning. It was an awful afternoon, watching Helanni's poor parents grieve, knowing deep down that her devotion to me caused her death. I somehow held myself together. Sarralyn helped me say a few nice words and present her family with a medal. When I'd finally said farewell to the tearful family, I was done in and returned to my bed.
The next day I awoke at a more normal time. Uncle Neal arrived to check on me once again, doing some small follow-up healings and prescribing another foul tea to help me get my full strength back. I asked after Wil again and was told once more that there had been no changes in his condition.
In the afternoon I met with my advisors. I was relieved to hear that things had been rather quiet during my absence, other than my attempted kidnap, of course.
I then met with Lord Edmin of Nond, who had succeeded Duke Turomot when he'd finally retired from the post of Lord Magistrate. Lord Edmin wished to speak to me regarding the trial for the pirates, which was due to begin the next day. He asked me to tell him what had happened, and I obliged, though I left out the private, romantic details that I had shared only with Sarralyn and my mother. The magistrate listened without judgement.
"The trial should be fairly straightforward. We have fifteen men who were pulled out of the ocean after the ship's explosion, as well as two more men who were captured while trying to leave ransom notes at the city gates. We confiscated this from among their possessions," Lord Edmin passed over a thick envelope. I tipped the contents into my hand and was relieved to see the silver and pink glimmers of my grandmother's bracelet. I thought wryly of Alv and Wimund, not a bit sorry that they didn't get their extra bribe money.
"Thank you for returning it, my lord. I look forward to reuniting this little piece of my grandfather with my grandmother." I tucked the bracelet into my pocket. Lord Edmin cleared his throat and went on.
"Your Majesty, you should know that besides the seventeen pirates, there is one other who will be on trial. Your maid has been taken into custody as well." Anneta, I thought with a pang.
"Her betrayal stings. I've been trying not to think too hard about it, or I'll start suspecting all the maids of misdoings."
"Don't go dismissing your staff. They've been thoroughly questioned in your absence. This lass seems to have worked alone, and she will see justice," Lord Edmin said. He had a reputation not unlike that of his predecessor, Duke Turomot, who was known for being unmovable. I had no doubt that Anneta would be punished. Lord Edmin ended the meeting by telling me that he would order any warrants that needed my royal seal and send them over after the trial.
I took supper with the whole family that evening. Meals with my cousins were always lively. Uncle Liam and his wife Princess Embla had four children, and Uncle Jasson and Aunt Barira had two more, all under the age of ten. I was able to get a seat in a quieter corner of the table, with my mother, brother, and grandmother nearest me. After the meal Kazu led our littler cousins, who adored him, off to play in the nursery before bedtime and I was left with the adults. I listened to their conversation off-handedly, but I was thinking more of the next day's trials.
"You don't seem yourself this evening. Are you feeling alright?" Mother asked me after a time.
"I'm fine, a bit tired, but I'll be off to bed soon," I reassured her.
"Is something bothering you then?"
"I'm not sure," I said honestly. "I think I'm just overwhelmed with everything that's happened. I'll be on edge until the trials are over."
"Speaking of the trials, how was your conference with Lord Edmin?" Uncle Liam asked.
"It went well. He's a good man for the job." I didn't elaborate on the gnawing feeling that the meeting had left in the pit of my stomach.
"He is," Uncle Jasson said. "He knows the rules and follows them unapologetically."
"That's a good way to put it," I agreed.
"He will set things to rights, Lianokami," Uncle Liam added. "A few more days, and the miscreants will likely be executed, and you can put this whole mess behind you." My dinner threatened to make a reappearance at the idea of watching all those executions.
"I am eager to move on from the whole thing," I said, standing. "I am going to get some rest before tomorrow. Good night, everyone."
"I'm done for as well," Grandmother said. "I'll walk with you."
I hugged my mother and nodded deeply to the others before I left with my grandmother. I felt a touch lighter upon reaching the hallway and escaping the conversation.
"My dear, I know it's a difficult thing, but do keep in mind what those people did to you," Grandmother Thayet said, taking my arm as we walked.
"I understand," I said, but I was uncertain even as I said it.
"If your grandfather was still alive, he would have been beside himself these last few days," she told me. "He loved you so much and was always so very proud of you."
"Oh, that reminds me!" I said, reaching into my pocket to retrieve Grandmother's bracelet. "I've been so wrapped up in my thoughts that I almost forgot- the provost's men got this back from the pirates when they arrested them."
Grandmother Thayet's eyes glistened as she let me fasten the bracelet around her wrist. "I meant when I said you are more important that jewelry, my dear, but I did miss this little bracelet."
"I'll never borrow it again," I promised, and she chuckled.
…..
I slept poorly and awoke the next morning feeling nervous. I wanted to do anything but attend the trials, and even briefly considered calling a healer for a calming draught. Forcing myself to be steadfast, I sent Sarralyn after an update about Wil instead, and settled in for a bland breakfast of tea and bread in my study.
After Sarralyn returned and said there was no news, I dressed in a dark frock and situated my crown on top of my head. With a quick glance in the mirror to make sure I looked regal enough, I left my sanctuary and made my way to the courtroom where the day's trials would be held.
My family was to be in the audience, part of a full crowd of nobles that included Master Numair, Uncle Neal, and both lady knights. I greeted them, thanking them again for their part in my rescue. I recognized a few faces that had been guests at the summer palace during the attacks. Sarralyn and I made a pass through the crowd, checking on each one of them.
When Lord Edmin signaled that they were ready to begin, I made my way up to the magistrate's dais and situated myself in one of the thronelike chairs.
The trial began with the pirates being escorted into the room. Shackled and shoeless, they looked much less fearsome than they had at sea. Their captain, Ries Rock, had not been one of the pirates fortunate enough to survive the explosion. I had been told that without his leadership, the pirates were a bumbling, submissive group. To my eyes they looked pathetic and terrified.
"This would be so much more fun if I could turn into a wasp and sting them a few times," Sarralyn whispered from where she stood beside me.
"Don't you dare leave me up here alone," I whispered back, keeping my expression blank. In honesty, I could have kissed her for breaking the tension that had been about to break me.
The relief didn't last long, as Anneta was brought in next and chained next to the pirates. She looked small and disheveled, her clothes hanging off her. She kept her eyes on the floor.
Sarralyn's face was stony now. "Be strong," she whispered to me.
From his desk, Lord Edmin began to address the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we are going to hear the case of the Crown versus the sailors that you see before you. These men are charged with treason, after conspiring amongst themselves to kidnap her Majesty Queen Lianokami I of Conté. The attempt led to the death of one of the queen's personal guards, Lady Helanni of Meron." He went on to explain what I'd told him the day before about the kidnapping and rescue, though he went into great detail about the cost of the resources it took to recover me. He also spoke of Wil's injuries and how his absence in his advocacy firm was taking a toll on his masters.
The pirates were quickly found guilty and ushered back to their cells. Lord Edmin turned then to my former maid.
"Anneta Beck, you have been charged with treason against queen and country," Lord Edmin said. "In aiding with Ries Rock and his crew to kidnap Her Majesty Queen Lianokami I of Conté. Do you deny these allegations?"
"I do not," she said quietly.
"As the queen's former maid, your involvement is doubly heinous. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" he asked. I leaned forward in my seat, trying to keep my face blank as I listened.
"I had to do it," Anneta said, still looking at the floor. "I didn't have any other options."
"What was so dire that you were forced to participate in such a foul plot?" Lord Edmin pressed.
"I needed the money to pay my daughter's healer," Anneta admitted.
"What sort of healing did the child need that your normal pay was not sufficient?" he asked.
"When my Millie was born, we knew she wasn't like other children. From day one she looked different- big, wide-spaced eyes, sunken chest. She grew slowly and was never as fast or big or smart as the others. Even so, I loved Millie all her life, and my man did too. After he died, I had to find work. When I was hired here at the palace, Millie stayed with my sister's family in the city. I see her every chance I get, and that has worked fine for us for almost six years. Then, a few months ago, Millie started having dizzy spells and she'd get to where she couldn't breathe. The local healer said it was her heart, and there was nothing to be done than buy a casket," Anneta paused here, crying too hard for words. I tried to keep my face impassive, but I was filled with guilt- I'd had no idea. Lord Edmin cleared his throat, prompting Anneta to calm herself enough to go on. "Well, I wasn't taking that for an answer, so we saw a dozen more healers before one could help us, and this one is mighty expensive. I spent all my savings trying to find out what was wrong, only to be told I'd need more money to pay for her treatment- and not just her heart. Millie's got a whole laundry list of healings to be done." Anneta looked up and straight into my eyes. "I am so sorry, My Lady. It nearly broke me to betray you, but I had to take the opportunity to pay for my baby's healing. She's all I got. Please don't let them kill me for it!"
"You may address me, and me alone," Lord Edmin admonished, but Anneta did not seem to hear.
"Please, My Queen, be merciful!" Anneta continued, but then a guard stepped closer to her, and she fell silent. A single tear escaped to roll down my cheek, but otherwise I kept myself from reacting.
Lord Edmin cleared his throat and addressed Anneta loudly, so the whole room could hear. "Mistress Beck, having confessed to treason, you are hereby found guilty, and will remain in custody until you are called to return for sentencing. This court is now adjourned for the day."
Anneta didn't speak as she was led away. As I watched her dreary figure retreat, I felt unsure what to make of the day.
The audience waited for Lord Edmin to leave before they rose, discussing the proceedings as they left. I didn't move from my seat, waiting for the crowd to thin. By the time I felt I would be able to escape without too much fuss, Mother had picked her way over to me.
"I need to lie down for a while," I told her. Her eyebrows rose and I saw her start to scan the crowd for Uncle Neal. I put my hand on her arm to reassure her. "I'm fine. This just took a lot, and the crown is giving me a bit of a headache. I'll have a nap and all will be better."
"Alright, Darling," she said, looking as though she was barely stopping herself from testing my forehead for fever as she had when I was a child. "Send for me if you need me."
"I will," I promised, rising from the throne and walking quickly around the outskirts of the crowd, Sarralyn at my heels.
"What do you think of her story?" she said as soon as my door closed behind me. I needed no prompting to know she spoke of Anneta.
"My heart breaks for her, and for her daughter. I wish she had felt like she could come to me with the problem, instead of committing treason," I said.
"She makes a good case for why we need more healers, or at least some way to help struggling families with the cost," Sarralyn said thoughtfully. "No one should have to make a choice like Anneta made- betray you or lose her daughter. I honestly don't know what I would do in her shoes."
"I can't think about this anymore," I told Sarralyn. "I feel like I'm losing a battle for my sanity."
She came to my side, gently removing my crown. "Put on comfortable clothes, drink some of Sir Nealan's horrible tea, and then take a nap. You'll feel better, and then I can help you talk through it all."
"Thank you, Sarralyn," I said, my heart warming at her devotion. "When things calm down, I promise I'll find another guard so that you can have free time again. I know you miss running with your animal friends."
"I'll be alright, Lia. I know this is temporary, and I'm happy to be here when you need me."
…..
I slept for hours. It was dusk by the time I awakened. My mother had asked the kitchens to send up a vegetable stew, which Sarralyn and I were enjoying when there was a knock on my chamber doors.
"That's probably a courier with the warrants," I said solemnly. We had not yet broached the subject.
"I'll get them," Sarralyn said, wiping her mouth on a napkin as she crossed the room. She adopted a tone of surprise when she was conversing with the manservant. "What is it?" I asked when her attention returned to me.
"Master Gavvin from Wiliem's firm is here to see you. I told the servants to show him to your study and fetch some wine."
"Thank you," I said, smoothing the wrinkles out of my tunic before following Sarralyn from the room. My worries about the trial vanished for a moment, as I found myself nervous for a whole new reason. In the back of my mind, I wanted Wil's trusted mentor to like me.
Master Gavvin bowed deeply when I entered the study. He had kind, blue eyes, a forehead creased with wrinkles, and there were flecks of gray in his brown hair and mustache.
"Forgive my appearance but I did not expect any visitors this evening," I said with a polite bow in return. "You honor me with your presence."
"I apologize for the intrusion," he said in the deep brogue that was common in the hill country. "With the Masbolle lad out of commission, I intend to personally see to the work he does here, at least for the time being."
"Have you any news of Barrister Wiliem?" I asked.
"I was able to visit him at the University yesterday. He looks good but he is still unconscious. I didn't get to speak to the healers much, but they have orders to update me immediately with any changes."
"Barrister Wiliem speaks very highly of you," I told him. "It is easy to see why."
"He's a good lad. Works hard, and never complains about it. After all these years, I'm afraid I've started to see him more as family than as a trainee," Master Gavvin told me. The bells began to chime the hour, reminding me that it was getting late.
"As good as it is to talk to someone who cares so much about Wiliem, I'm sure that's not why you came here tonight," I said.
"You are right, Madam. My purpose is business, specifically today's trial. Lord Edmin ordered warrants of execution for all parties. Our firm drew up the documents today," he said, passing over a thick file. It felt a boulder in my arms, and I was quick to place it on my desk. "You'll just need to sign them and give your royal seal."
"Thank you for bringing them," I said. "May I hold on to them until the morning? I am much wearied from the healing still, and I'd like to approach them after a good night's sleep."
"Of course, Your Majesty." He bowed and turned to leave, but stopped to look at me with an expression I couldn't read. "Barrister Wiliem speaks very highly of you, as well. I am sure you've heard whispers of people saying you're not fit for the throne, being female and so very young. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't had my own concerns, of course, I'm an old man who is set in my ways. However, from the lad I have learned that you are patient, fair, brave, and wise beyond your years. I am proud to have you as my queen, my lady."
"Thank you," I said, stunned to near silence.
Master Gavvin nodded towards the case of warrants. "Unless I miss my mark, you are uncertain if you want to sign those, correct?"
I sighed shortly, following his gaze. "I don't want to send eighteen people to their deaths simply for vengeance's sake."
"Would it help to think of it as standard operating procedure? In The Book of Law, it is the first suggested punishment for treason of this sort."
"I do understand that, and I appreciate Lord Edmin's desire to be harsh and discourage others who might try something similar, but there are so many factors to consider. Ries Rock was the mastermind behind the kidnapping and he's already dead. After hearing how desperate my maid was, it makes me wonder how many of his crew joined for similar reasons. Yes, they did an awful thing, but do they deserve to die for it?"
"You are within your rights if you refuse to sign the warrants, and Lord Edmin knows that. He has a backup plan. In the end, the decision has to come from you. Trust your instincts," Master Gavvin said kindly.
"My instincts got Wiliem and me lost in the catacombs and captured by pirates. My instincts sent your best barrister to lie unconscious in the hospital." The words spilled out before I could stop them, and it felt good to say them. "I don't have a lot of faith in my instincts at the moment."
"Any of us would have gotten lost in that labyrinth," Sarralyn piped up. She'd been listening quietly this whole time, but it seemed she could contain herself no longer. "It was a good plan when Helanni or I could have been down there with you, but there was no contingency for what to do if one of us wasn't there."
"Besides, I know my young barrister. He's got a good heart and an impressive memory for law and procedure, but he's horseshit with a sword." Sarralyn snorted and even I couldn't help a smile.
"Thank you for talking with me. It truly helps to hear my thoughts out loud," I told him sincerely. "And thank you again, for bringing the warrants over. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for Wiliem."
"There is one favor I could ask," Master Gavvin said, his eyes glinting mischievously. "When the lad awakens, do kiss him and put him out of his misery."
My jaw dropped as he bowed and left the room. Sarralyn looked at me with a smirk. "I like him."
"You would," I said dryly, sitting down at my desk chair and pulling the file of warrants closer to me. Sarralyn perched on the edge of my chair and we spent some time reading through each warrant, though they were pretty much the same.
"What are you going to do?" Sarralyn asked after a time.
"I don't know," I groaned, throwing my head into my hands. "It's just too much."
"Well maybe it's because you're so close to it. Maybe you should think of it as if it were your mother or brother who had been kidnapped." My eyes moved to my father's old glass horse. After the fiasco at the Summer Palace, it had made its way safely back to Corus and was now in its rightful place on my desk. I wondered what Father would decide in my shoes.
"Thank you, Sarralyn," I said. "I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I think sleeping on it would be best."
"Your head will probably be clearer in the morning," she agreed. She helped me straighten up my desk, then walked me back down to my bed chamber, leaving me at the door.
I went through my evening routine trying to empty my mind as I did. Once I had donned a nightgown I crawled into my bed. As soon as my head touched the pillow, my weariness vanished. I ended up staring at the canopy on the bed, counting the embroidered flowers again and again.
For hours I chased sleep, but the harder I tried, the more awake I became. Finally, I conceded that no rest would be had. Instead, a wild idea formed in my head.
I rose, stuffing my nightgown into some leggings like it was a shirt. I was still tugging my boots on when I rapped on the door across the hall from mine. Sarralyn opened the door quickly, staring at me groggily.
"What's going on?" she asked through a yawn. "Are you alright?"
"I can't sleep," I told her, calm washing over me now that I was in action. "I need to go the University."