Chapter 3 - A Way Home

Crosshair is starting to get relatively certain something in his leg is broken with how bad it hurts to walk on. He's sort of limping on it, leaning on his rifle for support and expecting CX-1 to show up out of nowhere to try killing him.

There's nothing.

He wishes there was.

Is desperate for some sort of assurance that he didn't kill his brother what was he thinking what did he do that was Hunter that –

But it wasn't really Hunter.

CX-2 is Crosshair because he chose to be.

CX-1 could have chosen. He didn't.

He goes in search of a ship next. It wouldn't have been hard if not for his injuries but he makes it eventually.

But now that he has a way to get off-planet, he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know where the others are. He doesn't know where to go.

He knows – Kamino was important, but they left there already.

Ord Mantell.

That's the only name that comes to mind when he tries to remember what happened to them or where they might have gone. He doesn't know if it's even a lead, but it's the only one he has so he goes ahead.

The ride through hyperspace gives him too long to think. What happened to CX-1? Is he –

Continuing to think about it won't change anything and if – if he was still alive, Crosshair doesn't know what he'd do now.

Hemlock's going to come after him eventually anyway though. Unless – Tech should be able to do something. Hopefully.

He finally comes out of hyperspace over the planet, flying for the surface, and landing in the middle of a town.

It looks... familiar.

There's a stand selling some kind of... food.

"One more?" Wrecker looks so hopeful.

"Tech said we don't have the credits for this," Crosshair reminds, a little grumpily.

"But only one more isn't gonna make a difference, right?"

"We should make this a tradition after missions," Omega says, grinning brightly.

They really were here. Right in this place, even if he has no idea how long ago that was. He doesn't see their ship anywhere. He just keeps walking, unsure what else to do.

There's some kind of building up ahead with people lingering around. Lowlifes, by the looks of it.

"This is the parlor?" Tech sounds dubious.

"I've never been here before myself, but yes," Echo assures.

This place is –

What is this place?

Crosshair approaches the entrance, stepping inside and looking around. He doesn't see his brothers or Omega anywhere, but it still feels like he's looking into a ghost of the past. He's been here before. He knows he has been. Many, many times – there was a whole history here. A whole life that the Empire took from him.

He expects to see people in here. Familiar faces, ones he knows and remembers from his dreams. The ones he saw on Coruscant, who took him and asked him to come home. In his mind, he can see his brothers seated at the bar counter, can see Omega climbing onto one of the seats at a holotable. He sees... her. Them. All of them, but they're not real, and they're just memories of a different life. One that it feels like he's trying to cut in and claim for himself when it was never meant to be his.

A green Trandoshan approaches Crosshair, looking a bit taken aback. "What're you doing out here, Toothpick?"

What does that word mean?

"My name is Crosshair," he objects, staring at her.

This person is familiar, but he does not like her at all. He has the feeling that's always been true.

She waves a claw at him, as though dismissing the comment. "Why are you here? Your squad said you were gone."

"Where are they?" he demands.

"Haven't been in contact with them for a long time," she replies, "They took off with some other clones."

They're not here? Then where are they? "Can you contact them?"

The Trandoshan makes a noise of agreement, going over to the back to make the call. All he can do now is wait.

**w**

Crosshair wakes somewhere in the day from where he'd passed out in a far corner of Cid's parlor. "Your squad's here," she tells him, thunking his shoulder with her cane to wake him. "Might wanna go out and see them. Don't get all sappy in my parlor."

"I don't get sappy," Crosshair growls, batting her aside and storming out the door.

The hangar is right nearby, and he freezes when he sees the very familiar ship. Havoc Marauder. The same place he lived for so long and grew up in. The closest he's ever had to a home. It's familiar, though he could swear it has more dents and scratches than he remembers. Scorch marks. Their ship has seen a lot of action. Even since he last saw it.

The ramp is lowered, and he watches his squad come out.

Wrecker is first, freezing up and pushing his helmet up when he sees him.

Omega is behind him, and she runs down the stairs with a quiet gasp. He remembers her from before, something like a distant shadow, a ghosting memory of a time so long ago. A time the Empire ripped away from him. She looks different now. Her hair is more golden somehow, and it's longer. It's parted the same way as – as that girl on Tantiss who shadows Hemlock everywhere and Crosshair doesn't like for some reason he can't remember either. It befuddles him when she's never looked at him with anything but sympathy.

Maybe he just doesn't want the sympathy of some random Imperial.

Omega runs to him, her body slamming into Crosshair's. He stumbles a step back, forgetting to brace himself, and freezes up entirely. What's he supposed to do? What does he – is he supposed to hug her back? Awkwardly pat her? Crosshair has no idea.

She'd asked him not to go, but he'd left her anyway, and he thought she'd be angry.

She doesn't know what happened to Hunter.

Omega pulls back, smiling up at him brightly and teary-eyed. "I knew you'd come back."

"We all did," Wrecker agrees, trotting forwards.

They've stood here before. A lifetime ago. He remembers...coming here. Tech grumbling about the unsanitary-ness. He definitely remembers he fought with Cid. Just – feelings.

It's like a memory out of a dream.

Wrecker stands in front of him, hovering awkwardly like he's not quite sure what to say, and then he just reaches out to yank Crosshair against his chest. "We crossed the whole galaxy looking for you," he says, voice thick, "We missed you."

He knows. Crosshair's throat tightens with emotion. Not sappy. He doesn't get sappy. He's not – ughhh.

He buries his face in Wrecker's shoulder and just clings to him. It helps to know they never gave up.

"Crosshair." Tech's voice pulls them apart, and Crosshair looks up at his older brother. He's missing a shoulder pauldron now from stars know what, and his armor is dented and scratched in many ways that Crosshair knows it wasn't before.

How long have they been apart? He doesn't remember. Hasn't kept track of the time, because it never mattered. Time is mindless. All he knows is that it's too long. His brothers have really lost it in his absence.

"It is good to see you are safe. Come aboard. I should like to check you over."

Wrecker grips his arm to steady him when he stumbles at the burning in his leg. CX-1 shot him good.

Stepping inside the Marauder again is even more nostalgic. It hurts, really. He's so, so grateful to be back, even if it looks wrong and too messy – there's stuff all over the floor and he trips every step to the seats – and he could swear it didn't used to smell like this. Crosshair hates the mess – most of the time – and...

He wishes he was here to see it all change.

Echo clasps his shoulder briefly. "It's good to see you," he admits, "Why'd you come back, if you don't mind me asking?"

Crosshair sinks into one of the chairs with Tech's prompting and sighs. "I started remembering. The Empire didn't give me anything."

Echo and Tech exchange glances. Tech takes up his scanner again, and Omega unclasps Crosshair's leg armor so it can be treated and bandaged. He used to have to do this himself. CX-1 would, sometimes, but it never...

Never felt right.

Crosshair is still taking everything in. It's overwhelming.

Tech gives him a bacta injection, then takes his hand to look something over. He checks his pulse fully unnecessarily, touching the top of the metal in his arm. "What was this for?" he inquires. He can feel it through his sleeve, though the pressure is light.

Crosshair's jaw clenches. He doesn't know if he's supposed to talk, but he's not supposed to be here at all. "I couldn't keep it steady."

All four of them flinch in unison. "You couldn't keep your hands steady?" Wrecker asks.

Crosshair glares at the floor.

The question hangs heavily in the air.

Omega steps forward, laying her hand on Crosshair's forearm. "It's okay," she said, but it's not and he remembers a time he used to be fully human. He remembers being cut open and struggling against the restraints pinning him down and begging it all to be over. That's not something he could ever tell them.

Crosshair says nothing.

"May I see it?" Tech inquires. He wants to say no just because he has a choice, but it doesn't hurt anything, so he pulls his vambrace off and rolls his sleeve up.

"Did it work?" Echo asks.

Best thing anyone could say. Crosshair sighs. "I don't know."

Omega squeezes his arm again. Crosshair doesn't think she knows what to say, which is good, because he doesn't, either. Doesn't think anyone does.

"So, what are you doing now?" Crosshair asks finally. Doesn't know what else to say.

"We were fighting the Empire between running jobs for Cid for credits," Tech answers, "We had freed a group of regs who were being held hostage by the Empire in the hopes it would lead us to you."

"Cid's comm came through when we were out," Echo adds, "We think there's something more going on. I was hoping you could add something."

"Do you know what happened to Hunter?" Omega pipes up, "Do you remember him?"

Oh, yeah, he blew him up. Crosshair bites his lip and wishes he had something to chew on because his mouth tastes like blood already. "Yes, I do." He leaves it at that. Short and simple. Not explaining that he probably just fried him to death.

"I know you came back to us," Echo says, "And I do trust you, but considering what happened, I just want to make sure we have a way to know you're clear on where you belong."

"They put a tracker in me," Crosshair supplies instead. "We need to get it out before they realize I left."

"I did not detect one," Tech answers, "However, I can scan you again for a potential tracker."

"We all have them. To monitor us in case something goes wrong."

"It may be in your arm," Tech suggests finally as he studies the scanning results, "We would have to operate to look at and remove it."

That makes sense. It would be disguised as something else. But that will mean cutting him open again. "Do you have the facility to do it?" he asks.

"I am knowledgeable enough to make it work," Tech promises, "We will have to sedate you."

"You do that?" Crosshair asks, confused.

"Didn't the Empire?" Wrecker queries, wounded.

He shakes his head mutely. Still remembers the blade in his arm. It burns all the time. He can't believe he thought it hurt badly before. Now, if he twitches wrong and the skin is stretched or pressed against the metal, it's all he can do not to scream.

In short, it's agonizing, and he has to be careful all the time instead of just fighting on and off aches. He misses what it was like before. So much. It was good to be fully human. He never realized how much he appreciated it until he lost it.

"We can deal with it now if you want," Tech tells him, "AZI can aid us."

Crosshair doesn't have a reason to disagree so he just nods.

He's expecting it to hurt when the droid sedates him because it seems that inevitably everything hurts now, but he just fades into unconsciousness.

**w**

The room is dark. He knows that before he opens his eyes, but when he does, he doesn't see anything of major importance, anyway. Just... dark. The room is gray and full of all sorts of equipment. His body aches everywhere. It still hurts enough that he really just wants to cry. He definitely doesn't want to wake up at all.

Something hard is pressed against his side. Someone's – touching him.

He blinks up at Hunter's face and bites his lip.

"I'm sorry," Hunter tells him quietly, squeezing his hand. Crosshair wishes he had the strength to squeeze it back. "I wish you'd just talk."

"I don't know anything," Crosshair mutters, looking away. His head throbs. He feels numb.

Hunter sighs. "You have to know something. You haven't said where the others were staying."

"They didn't ask me."

"And I won't."

Crosshair nods a little, closing his eyes again. He's so tired, but not too much to be grateful. He doesn't want the others to get dragged into this. Hemlock does. He wants them for some reason, and he doesn't know how much more of this he can take. They're cycling him just enough he can still... think.

And the girl, whoever she is – Emerie? Was that her name? – is familiar. He hates that he keeps thinking about her. She's the one who's torturing him.

"When I took you in, I didn't know this would happen."

"You still would've done it," he mutters bluntly.

"I – yeah. I would've. I'm sorry." There's a long pause. "Do you really think this isn't me?" Hunter asks finally.

"I know it's not," Crosshair tells him, opening his eyes again, "You would never let this happen to any of us. You wouldn't hold me prisoner."

"Then I'm sorry," Hunter tells him quietly, "For everything I've done to you, and everything... I'm sure I will." He blows out a long breath. He looks exhausted. Almost as much as Crosshair feels. He brought him here to Tantiss, and... He's been here the entire time. While Hemlock was torturing him.

Not watching, but still here.

Not always here here, but still here, and not helping like he should be. Crosshair tries his best not to let that hurt. It's not Hunter's fault. It's not.

"I had a choice," Hunter tells him quietly, "To use you to lure out the others, and to take you here. With... how you were about the Empire, I didn't want to take chances with everyone else. I know it means I chose to give you up. I just... I don't want you all to die."

Crosshair doesn't, either. He's basically given up hope on himself.

Echo and Tech will never find him before it's too late.

"I know you are," Crosshair mutters, sighing. He bites his lip, though it's already stinging and bloody. "What – what happens now?"

Hunter's hand brushes across his hair. He looks away. "I don't know. I heard Hemlock saying something about transferring you elsewhere. He doesn't want to waste resources." He sounds bitter.

Crosshair definitely is. "We're more than this."

"We could've been. If you'd chosen the Empire. Chosen me."

Crosshair glares at him. "I chose our squad. I always will."

Hunter sighs and looks away. "I know." He's crying. His eyes are wet, and he tries to wipe it off in what he makes look like a perfectly natural movement, but Crosshair knows better. Hunter usually forgets how well he can see.

This is draining on both of them.

"Are you supposed to be here?" Crosshair asks.

"I'm allowed in here. I'm a Commander now. But I'm not supposed to talk to you."

"Why are you?"

"I don't want to leave you here."

"Then get me out."

Hunter shakes his head. "There's no way out, Crosshair."

He's never been one to give up. That was always Crosshair's role. He was always the pessimist. That role isn't supposed to switch.

Crosshair squeezes his hand a little, closing his eyes. Wishes he could sit up or move, but he's strapped down still – in a recovery room now – and is too exhausted to get up, anyway.

"Just sleep," he requests, "You'll need it."

"I know." He's too tired to be hungry but he's thirsty, too. Really wants to sleep.

Misses – Wrecker. And the kid. Have they continued their... tradition? Without him? It's been a while.

"I mean it," Hunter tells him quietly, "Just – sleep. I know you're exhausted, Crosshair. And please – try to be rational. I don't want to see you like this again."

"This isn't about you." Rude but true.

"It's about you."

"I'm not afraid to die. Tech and Wrecker would do it, too. So would you. Once." He didn't choose this. Hunter did that for him.

He took – everything.

And Crosshair still loves him. Somehow.

"Once isn't now. And I don't want that for you."

"You don't get to take care of me anymore."

"I'm trying."

"And failing. Badly." What is he supposed to say? We love you? We missed you? It's true and Hunter knows that. It won't be enough to shake the control his chip has over him. If he was willing to shoot Echo, he'd be willing to shoot any of them.

He already tried. More than once.

There's no way out. That was something Hunter was supposed to find, and if it means leaving him, Crosshair is at a genuine and complete loss of what to do. Even if he could somehow get out of this facility, he could never escape Hunter.

**w**

Crosshair wakes slowly, his mind still tangled in the memory of – of Hunter.

He didn't remember any of that. He didn't realize why Hunter did what he did. He thought... That he'd just abandoned him there. That he'd willingly let it happen, not that he didn't have a choice without risking the rest of their brothers and Omega.

And that – Crosshair may hardly remember them, but he's infinitely grateful that it was only him who was hurt, that Hunter didn't try to protect him at the cost of the others.

And Crosshair killed him for that. Didn't he?

He – Stars.

What did he do?!

That was Hunter and he just –

He doesn't know what happened but there's little chance he made it out. If he did –

Well, he might not be Hunter anymore, but that doesn't excuse what Crosshair did to him and he doesn't know what to – to think anymore. He wishes suddenly, desperately, that there was some way he could reverse that but he can't. He can't just undo it.

He's definitely never telling the others what he did.

He wants to stop thinking about it now. Can't stop remembering that explosion or – or anything.

"Crosshair?"

He opens his eyes, refocusing on his surroundings at the sound of Omega's voice.

She's standing right next to where he's lying. He sits up slowly, still a bit baffled that nothing hurts.

His hand looks... different. It's bandaged where it was operated on, so he can't actually see what it looks like, but it doesn't hurt to move much when he clenches it. The pain that sparks through it is minor, probably a result of being cut open. Whatever was put in it has obviously been modified enough that it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

"I did what I could," Tech tells him, appearing on his other side, "How does it feel?"

"Better," Crosshair replies, clenching it again. It hasn't felt this normal in so long.

"Good. I do believe Hemlock was using part of it to track you. I left it intact, so he should not have detected any changes, but we should leave soon."

Crosshair nods a little mindlessly. Hemlock might not have figured out yet but they better not take long.

Tech moves off, looking at something on his datapad and Crosshair turns back to Omega.

"I'm glad you're back," she says, smiling brightly up at him.

It's weird to see people smiling.

He just makes a 'hmm' noise. He wishes he remembered her better. There's a part of him that's already inexplicably fond of her either way. "How did we meet?" he asks. She wasn't there... before. Back when he was little. He knows that much.

"It was right before the Empire formed. Right after you came back to Kamino after being away for months," she replies, "I wanted to go with you. I... told Echo about it. I knew it was dangerous for you to stay on Kamino and I warned him when you and the others were loading up supplies on the ship, but he didn't want to take me."

He has a vague memory of running into her in some hall on Kamino, with the others.

He'd found her adorable

Still does.

"I'd been fighting with Hunter non-stop since the mission right before," Crosshair says, blinking a few times. He remembers something about that vaguely. He'd refused some order and Hunter had been so angry at them.

She nods. "That's what you told me later. You... came back to get me after some mission that the Empire sent you on which didn't go well. They had you arrested and thrown in the same cell as me."

He blinks again. "Why were you in a cell?"

"Uhh... I was in your barracks when I wasn't supposed to be. I thought Nala Se was going to come get me out, but she didn't, and then you showed up. Hunter didn't want to break out. He and Echo wouldn't stop arguing about whatever happened on your mission. But then troops came to take Hunter and... we broke out after that. We were going to go after him, but he found us her first."

Her face is tight, and Crosshair can see the pain in her eyes.

"He attacked us," he says. He remembers that – Hunter standing in the doorway of the hanger, his new Imperial armor looking so wrong.

They must have done something to his chip.

She nods. "It wasn't his fault but – It was hard. We barely made it out. I'd never been away from Kamino before, and I didn't know how to help but – none of you really knew what to do with Hunter gone."

He remembers a little of the emptiness he felt. Tech and Echo were fighting non-stop. They were basically sharing the leadership role, and it felt like all anyone did was fight.

He and Wrecker tried to stay busy with Omega. It was interesting to have a... younger sibling. Crosshair's been youngest all his life until then.

"What did we do?" Crosshair asks finally.

"We started working for Cid for credits since we didn't have any other way to get then. You helped me train with my bow."

His gaze drifts to where the thing is lying in the corner of the ship.

He doesn't really remember that. He really, really wishes he did.

Everything in his mind feels so empty, even if it's not nearly as bad as it was – before. It's frustrating, though, to know that there's so much about them he'll never remember. They know more about him than he does.

"We were considering going to work with Rex for a while," she goes on, "But Tech didn't want to take us into danger at first."

"But that... changed," Crosshair says slowly.

She nods, face shadowing. "After you were lost, we weren't going to stop looking for you."

Crosshair nods, unsure what to say. They would do anything for him. It's a strange concept he's still getting used to.

Omega's hand slips into his. "Maybe we can do something while we're still here."

Crosshair nods his agreement, standing. This is the place he spent so much time with his former squad after they lost Hunter. He'd like to see it one more time before they leave.

**w**

He's hungry. Honestly – the hunger never really has gone away. And not for ration bars. It's for something else. Basically anything else. He has been for all that he remembers, so when Wrecker shows up out of nowhere, happily asking if he wants to go out somewhere food shopping, Crosshair stands, rolling his shoulders with a snippy "why not?"

"You are not ready to consume junk food," Tech whines from somewhere nearby, "You have hardly been eating a sufficient amount for your size in what appears to be a very long time."

Crosshair rolls his eyes.

"C'mon!" Wrecker protests, "We just got 'im back!"

"That is all the more reason to take care of him and not let him get sick from overconsumption of a complete lack of nutrients."

"I'll be fine," Crosshair insists. Whatever they do couldn't hurt him worse than how much Hemlock did all the time on Tantiss.

Ignoring Tech's disapproving look, he follows Wrecker through the streets.

Omega trails along behind. He remembers taking this walk before, distantly through a dream, but still. He remembers.

It's so much better than what he had on Tantiss. Maybe there's no purpose here, but he isn't here because he has to be. He's here because this is what he wants, and it's the only life he wants.

And that, of course, is when he sees a flash of dark movement, and a very, very familiar dark armored figure disappears from view.

Crosshair jerks to a stop, panic welling up inside him. "He's here," he hisses, "We have to get back to the Marauder."

"What? Who's here?" Omega asks, drawing her bow.

"Hunter."

Final Notes: Reviews are always appreciated! ^-^

Come hang out on Discord (delete spaces), discord . gg / nqSxuz2 or find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes)

We've got a YT channel for tributes! (delete the spaces) youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

ALSO: We have SW gift request forms for General, Anakin-Clones-centric, and Bad Batch fics. :D (delete spaces) bit . ly / CourtesyTrefflinFicRequests