Disclaimers: I do not own Gravity Falls
Author's Notes: Thanks for reading and please review.
(Back with Dipper…)
[Three days later…]
He was never partying on a school night again, no matter how much Bill and Mabel begged him! Dipper yawned for the one thousandth time as the trio walked down the hall to their first class. It wouldn't have been so bad if Dipper had managed to get some sleep after their night out with Bill's weird friends, but that was not the case.
For the past three days Mabel and Bill had stayed up all night and day watching a movie marathon because Bill had never seen a movie before. Of course, upon hearing this Mabel dove into action and pulled out all her favorite movies for him to watch. And somehow Dipper had gotten roped into the madness of excessively buttered popcorn and cheesy chick flicks.
"Hey! It's that magic kid!" someone called out. Several people kept waving at them, including the janitor and several teachers.
"Dipper, Bill makes us popular!" Mabel declared happily.
"Of course, we're popular!" Bill said, waving back. "Who wouldn't want to know me?"
"How do you already know everyone?" Dipper groaned, hating his chipper mood; he was far too tiered for this amount of energy. "You've been here for less than week!"
"Shooting Star introduced me to social media after you fell asleep." Bill explained.
"Of course, she did." Dipper moaned.
"Everyone's so cool here, Dipper!" Bill said. "It makes me wish my parents had tossed me out of the castle years ago!"
"Oh, you haven't even met the coolest person here," Dipper said. Just then, a sophomore girl on a skateboard rolled by, doing a kick flip at one point. She wears a plaid shirt and blue jeans and her long red hair danced behind her in the wind as she skates.
"Sup Red!" Bill said giving her a high five as she stopped at her locker right beside them.
Dipper was floored, He knew Wendy! Feeling embarrassed Dipper opened his own locker and hid behind it.
"Hi, Bill, Mabel!" Wendy greeted them both. She then looked around them to Dipper. "Hey man how's it hanging?"
Dipper who is completely hidden by the locker door allows his hand to stick out so he can give her a shy wave. He never could talk to her. Every time he did it came out as a jumbled-up mess and it was so embarrassing.
"Well see you guys in class." She said before skating off.
Moments later Dipper finally mustered up the courage to close his locker door.
Bill who had been noticing Dipper's behavior grinned from ear to ear. "You like her!" He exclaimed.
"What?" Dipper stuttered. "No, I don't." He tried picking up the pace as they walked down the hall towards their first class, but Bill is relentless.
"I know." He said. "I need to hook you two up."
"Please don't." Dipper begged. "Mabel already tried once and it was a disaster."
"How was I supposed to know she was allergic to peanut butter?" Mabel asked defensively as they walked into their first class. Now Mabel liked math just fine, she wasn't as great as Dipper was, but she got by with a B average. However, she could really do without their teacher, Ms. Skullnick. Ms. Skullnick wasn't exactly mean per-se, but she did tend to have a nasty attitude, for reasons that were beyond her understanding.
"Come on I'm almost as good at matchmaking as I am with magic." Bill reasoned.
"So not at all?" Dipper joked as the trio sat down in the front row.
Ms. Skullnick was passing out the results of a test from a few days ago, slamming one on Bill's desk.
"As you can see, class, most of you have done a pathetic job," she said.
"Not me! I got an F for fantastic!" Bill said.
"Not even close. It's an F for fail," Dipper explained.
"Huh?" Bill looks confused.
"Look, I'm aware this kind of thing doesn't exist in the Nightmare Realm." Dipper said. "But here you get graded on stuff."
"Well what grade did you get?" Bill hissed obviously annoyed.
Dipper held up his test paper proudly. "Oh, just an A+ with a nice little smiley face. The best grade you can get!"
"That's because you're a total nerd!" a boy sitting behind him said. He takes this moment to bat Dipper in the head, causing his pine tree hat to fall to the floor.
The boy has shaggy black hair in a typical eye-covering "emo style" hairdo, pale skin and several piercings in his ears. He wears tight skinny jeans with a key-chain attached to the pocket, and a light black hoodie with a picture of a red bleeding heart with stitches on it, along with black finger-less gloves.
Bill sees red, how dare he touch Pine Tree's hat! But before he could do anything Mabel steps in.
"Robbie use your words." She said knowingly. Robbie was two whole grades ahead of Mabel and Dipper, but due to his low-test scores he was forced to repeat ninth grade algebra. "He's not usually like this." She explained to Bill.
"It's all his fault!" Robbie said kicking Dipper's seat this time as Dipper went to retrieve his hat.
"How is this my fault?" Dipper said peering over at Robbie's paper. The goth managed to do worse than Bill! Which should be impossible. "It's not my fault you didn't study."
"This isn't about the test." Mabel said. "Is it Robbie?"
Robbie groaned, he hated that Mabel could read him so well, he knew he should brush her off, and deny everything, but Mabel was always there for him. Without her he would have never gotten over Wendy and ended up with the love of his life. His heart ached at the thought. "She…she dumped me." He whispered.
"Tambry dumped you!" Dipper exclaimed a little too loud.
"Shut up doofus!" Robbie hissed kicking his seat again.
"So, this is all over some girl?" Bill scoffed. "Wait how is it his fault?" He asked pointing to Dipper.
"It's always my fault." Dipper said. "Even when it isn't."
"No, this time it really is." Robbie said looking cross. "You're always going on your stupid adventures and writing about them on your blog."
"You have a blog?" Bill asked.
"Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained." Dipper said proudly. "I post my findings about the town there." He explained. "Uncle Ford says most humans can't comprehend the supernatural, and a lot of the towns folk pretend it isn't real. But I like to keep people informed; even if they choose not to believe it, I did my job."
"Yeah well thanks to your job Tambry thinks I'm not interesting enough!" He yelled. "I don't take risk, or do anything exciting, I just write depressing music, and skulk all the time."
"She said that?" Mabel asked.
"Yeah all because I didn't want to go to some dumb concert with her." Robbie groaned.
"And this had what to do with me?" Dipper dared to ask.
"She said 'Why can't you be more exciting like that Pines kid.'" Robbie yelled. "She compared me to you!"
Dipper's eyes widen. "Really?" he said feeling pretty good about himself. He knew it was petty, but no girl had ever compared their boyfriends to him before, at least that he knew of. And while he felt bad for Robbie, it was nice to know he wasn't completely at the bottom of the social ladder.
"How?" Dipper asked. "I can't make you more interesting."
"But I can." Bill said.
"Bill!" Dipper warned.
"No this is perfect." Bill reasoned. "You say I suck at magic and love matching." He explained. "But if I get Robbie and Tambry back together you'll have to eat those words."
"You really think you can make me more interesting?" Robbie asked.
"No." Bill admitted. "But I can make her think you're more interesting." Bill assured him as he lifted his cane.
"Bill wait!" Dipper warned.
Too late! "Babe magnet love storm!" He shouted with a wave of his cane.
Bill's spell wound up turning him into a troll.
No, not an "ugly-looking man" troll.
An actual troll.
"Bill, what did you do?" Mabel asked.
"I think… I turned him into a troll," Bill replied, stating the obvious.
The other students and Ms. Skullnick were speechless; some even had their mouths wide open in shock.
But then one student yelled, "Bill Cipher just turned Robbie into a monster!" and the class began cheering.
"Bill Rocks!"
Robbie pulls out his phone and uses the camera app as a mirror to confirm he was, in fact, a troll. "Aahhh! I'm hideous!"
"Bill, change him back!" Mabel said.
"I don't know how to!" Bill replied.
"Well do something!" Dipper yelled.
"Okay, I'll think of something then!" Bill waved his cane. "Lightning Change Back!"
Suddenly they appear within Bill's room at the Mystery Shack.
"Huh? Where are we?" Bill asked.
"I think you zapped us home," Mabel replied.
"Ohhhh… I wish I knew how I did that. It could really come in handy if I don't feel like using my legs!"
"Uh guys." Mabel said looking worried.
The boys turn her way to see that they managed to snag another traveler on their unsuspected return home.
There beside Mabel stood a very distraught and still very troll like Robbie!
"Robbie…" Dipper said quietly at the nervous troll teen. "It's not so bad." He insisted.
"Not so bad!" Robbie yelled; his voice shook the walls around them. "I'm a troll! Now Tambry will never take me back!"
"If you ask me it's an improvement." Bill stated.
"No one asked you!" Robbie screamed as he began to throw things around, going on an angry rampage.
"We can fix this!" Mabel yelled. She turned to Bill. "Tell him you can fix this!"
"But I tried." Bill yelled over his screams. "Besides the jerk deserves a little karma!"
"Fine!" Dipper yelled, "I'll do it!" He mumbled something under his breath, and suddenly ropes came to life and wrapped around Robbie. Next a chair appeared, and the troll Teen was forced to sit down.
"How did you do that?" Bill asked.
"Haven't you been listening?" Mabel asked. "Dipper is a wiz at magic, that's why great uncle Ford put you in his care."
Bill's eyes widen as he suddenly remembered the conversation. "You can fix this!" He exclaimed.
"No, I can't." Dipper reasoned.
"Why not!" Robbie yelled as he tried to get free.
"Two reasons." Dipper answered. "1: I hate magic."
"You hate magic?" Bill was stunned and maybe a little hurt as well.
"He says it's like cheating." Mabel answered. "Magic is an alternative to one's actual physical and mental strengths."
"Okay so you're too proud." Bill reasoned. "What's reason number two?"
"The magic I know is like level one stuff." Dipper reasoned. "Like fairy and pixie magic." He went on. "You're a level five demon Bill, and your power comes from your own imagination, the strongest kind of magic out there."
"So, he's too advance for the great Dipper Pines?" Robbie scoffed. "Just my luck." He joked cruelly. "What's a level five demon anyway?"
"Demons are divided into five levels." Mabel answered. "Depending on their power."
"Not that you need to know that." Dipper cut her off.
"Did demon magic turn you into a troll?" Robbie asked.
Dipper rolled his eyes. "Demons are labeled based on their strength, one being the weakest, and five being the strongest. And spells cast by a level five demon cannot be undone by one of a lower status."
"In other words, only Bill or another level five demon can undue this." Mabel cut in.
"Which means…." Dipper gave Bill a knowing look.
"Which means what?" Bill asked.
Dipper rolled his eyes. He knew Bill knew exactly what he was getting at. "Bill, we can't keep stalling. You're going to have to call your parents. They'll know how to reverse the spell."
"No! I can't ask for help! If my parents find out about this, they're going to send me to St. Hugo's Reform School!" Bill wailed. "It's a terrible, horrible place, and no one who goes there ever comes out the same!"
"Sounds like you could use it." Robbie joked.
Mabel cut in. "Dipper's right, Bill, but maybe you can trick them into telling you how without getting into trouble." She reasoned. "Look, you just need to get the information you need, without letting them know all of the details. What they don't know won't kill them, and they will be none the wiser."
"Well, Mom is very wise…Okay, I'll try," Bill replied. He pulled back a curtain on his wall, revealing a mirror.
"Mirror, Mirror, Call Mother."
"Calling Py…" The Mirror said.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Bill exclaimed, obviously distressed.
"Py?" Dipper said. "That sounds nothing like mother."
Suddenly a feminine humanoid demon with horns and surrounded in pink flames appeared on the mirror's screen. "Hi, Bill!"
"No, no, no!" Bill said, trying to hang up.
"Well, you're here, I'm here-" She said.
"NO!" Bill yelled. "I said call Mother, not the Smotherer!" Bill said.
"No, wait, Bill! Don't hang up!" Py demanded, her flames began to burn the room around her.
Bill hung up anyways.
"Ugh… I really got to delete her off my mirror," Bill said annoyed.
"So that's the Ex uh?" Mabel asked.
"And you wanted to give me love advice?" Robbie exclaimed.
"Shhh." Bill hissed as his mother appeared on Bill's mirror.
"Oh, Bill and Dipper, what a pleasant surprise!" Luisa said.
"And don't forget Mabel!" Mabel said pushing Dipper aside.
"Mabel!" Dipper yelled.
"It's nice to meet you." Luisa gave a pleasant smile.
"You as well." Mabel exclaimed. "You know I have heard so much about-"
"Thank you, Mabel." Dipper said pushing her out of the way.
"Hey!" Mabel whined.
Bill cleared his throat. "So, Mom… let's just say that someone accidentally turned someone else into a troll. Not that I would do that, because that would be completely irresponsible, but what should that person do?" Bill said nervously.
"Nice one." Mabel said.
"William, I know you don't like him, but these are questions you should be asking Axolotl. He is your guide after all." Luisa reasoned.
Just then a loud crash and screaming filled the room.
"Bill, what is going on?" his mom asked.
"Got to go Mom, bye!" Bill said, hanging up and closing the mirror's curtain. "What happened?"
"Robbie jumped out the window!" Dipper replied gesturing to the new hole in the wall.
"Seriously?" Bill groaned.
"Maybe there's another way to fix this." Mabel said mostly to herself.
"What do you mean?" Dipper asked.
"I got an idea." Mabel said as she pulled out her phone. "You guys just make sure Robbie doesn't get far."
"That's not going to be easy." Bill stated the obvious as the boys raced down the stairs and out the door to find him.
They managed to catch up with him in the backyard where Dipper wastes no time tackling him.
"Wow! Good job, Dipper!" Bill said.
"Wow, Good job, Dipper!" a voice mocked from nearby.
They turned to find that Tad and his monster army have once again appeared.
"Tad! What are you doing here?" Bill asked.
"Catching you at your most distracted!" Tad replied.
"Seriously?" Bill rolled his eyes. "You do this now? I've been way more distracted than this,"
Dipper nodded in agreement. "We were watching movies for three straight nights in a row."
"And we went partying!" Bill added. "But you chose now, when I'm not distracted at all!"
"I don't know, you seem pretty distracted to me," Tad said.
"Nah, not really," Bill said.
"Oh, well... What's that over there?" Tad pointed at something in the other direction.
"What, where?" Dipper felt like an idiot for looking.
"Seriously?" Bill asked looking at him.
"GET THEM!" Tad yelled, taking this moment to strike.
At that Bill, and Dipper began to lead the monsters on a brief chase, knocking over Robbie in the process.
Bill waved his cane, he knew using magic was what got them in this trouble in the first place, but it really was his only defense. "Dagger Crystal Heart Attack!" he yelled.
Bill's cane shot red heart-shaped crystals at the monsters. "Yeah, that's right! Feel the deadly power of love!" he taunted.
Dipper faced off against three nearby monsters. "I'm obligated to warn you, I once took out a guy twice my size while sleep walking." Dipper said before he kicked the first one way, only for another monster to appear cracking his knuckles.
Buff Frog throws a few punches at Bill, but he easily dodges, and cast another spell.
"Razor Leaf Blast!"
Hundreds of sharp leaves were hurled toward Buff Frog, knocking him down and cutting him in some places.
Bill noticed one of the monsters had Dipper in a headlock, so Bill fired another spell at him, "Rainbow Blast!" which knocked him away, directly into Robbie.
Robbie wastes no time getting with the program and smashing the enemy around.
"Narwhal Blast! Narwhal Blast!" Bill continued fighting only to stop as he noticed Robbie was actually fairing pretty well on his own. However, due to his absent mindedness Dipper wound up getting cornered and surrounded.
"Hey, any chance I could get some help here?" Dipper asked hopefully.
Bill shook his head focusing back on the task at hand. "Turbo Nuclear Demonic Blast!" Bill yelled, an explosion of blue and yellow filled the area along with multiple smoky skull shapes.
After it was over, the yard was in shambles, like a tornado had torn through it. Several lingering fires from Bill's spells littered the yard.
"Whoa-ho-ho-ho!" Bill said, clearly surprised. "That was awesome! Who else saw that?"
Tad was shaking a nearby monster who was out cold. "Get up! Get up!"
"Told you we weren't distract-" Bill said. "Wait, did we just kill that guy?"
"No, he's not dead. He's probably just bleeding internally and being a total baby about it! Stupid wuss!" Tad replied, kicking him in the head.
"Oh, good cause I already used my one freebie for murder." Bill said relieved.
"You killed someone before?" Robbie and Dipper say in unison.
"Kill is a strong word." Bill reasoned as Tad opened a portal and called out to his army.
"Get up, you dipsticks!"
His monsters began to get up and limp through the portal, except for the one Robbie was still holding.
Robbie dropped him and the monster runs away.
"So how did it feel to kick monster butt?" Bill asked slyly.
"It was…kind of exhilarating." Robbie admitted.
"Then my work here is done." Bill said proudly.
"What?" Robbie yelled. "As if, you haven't even tried to turn me back."
"You asked me to make you more interesting." Bill said. "And you are."
"You think Tambry will go for this?" Robbie yelled.
"Why don't you ask her?" Bill said.
Robbie and Dipper turned to see Mabel walking up with Tambry and Wendy in tow.
"Robbie is that you?" Tambry asked.
"Don't look at me!" Robbie cried. "I'm hideous!"
"Are you kidding?" Tambry took his head and smiled. "You look amazing, and the way you fought that monster. I had no idea you had it in you."
"You saw everything?" Robbie asked.
"Yeah, I was so stupid to judge you like that. I was just angry about missing the concert. Will you please take me back?" Tambry asked hopefully.
Robbie smiled. "Of course."
"Great now if you'll stay still, I'll change you back." Bill lifted his cane.
"Are you crazy?" Robbie bat the cane away. "Didn't you hear? She likes the new me and so do I." And with that the two walked away into the sunset.
"Well that's a relief." Bill said. "Because I had no idea how to fix that."
"Some things don't need fixing." Mabel reasoned.
"Wow, Bill that is so rad of you to do this for Robbie!" Wendy said. "Even if it's a little unorthodox."
"Thanks, but actually, it's Dipper Pines who deserves all the credit," Bill replied pushing Dipper towards her.
Dipper smiled nervously.
"Sweet, but next time you might want to try other methods before turning people into trolls." She reasoned. "Robbie's parents are going to flip." She realized before racing off after them. "Bye Dipper!" She waved as she went.
"Well that didn't go as plan." Bill said looking disappointed. "Sorry Pine Tree."
"Are you kidding?" Dipper's smile grew. "She said bye to me, just me!"
"Yeah it's like we didn't even exist." Mabel praised. "Which means she was impressed!"
Bill smiled. "That means I'm even better at matchmaking than I am with magic!" He exclaimed before accidentally blasting Dipper giving his head colorful moth wings and antennae, one of which was on fire.
"BILL!" Dipper yelled.
"It's not so bad." Mabel said as she tried to blowout the flame.
"I can fix it!" Bill assured him, he waved his cane, but nothing happened. "Eventually…."
"And this is why I hate magic." Dipper stated. "Nothing good comes from it."
-To Be Continued