Blazed and Confused Bart and Hugo finally get a new teacher. However he's EVIL! EVIL? EVILLL! (Mermaid Man screams and flees.)
Plot
The Couch gag is the Simpsons on a ski lift.
In town Kang and Kodos arrive to the town meeting that evening late.
"You and your stupid makeup. We missed Halloween!" yelled Kang.
"D'oh!" said Kodos.
The Red WildForce Ranger was chasing Bart with a samurai sword.
Bart screamed.
"This isn't funny!"
Yes it is! A Power Ranger killed people in real life!
"Oh great you're making a reference to that..." Lisa sighed.
Oscar was still prince of Cannock from the episode [Medieval Mayhem].
"Mr President, Banning straight time Disney films seems a bit excessive even to me. How about we just ban CGI and Live action remakes of Disney animated films..." said Oscar as the Prince of Cannock.
"Okay very well, that's a good idea. I won't allow Live action Jungle Book to sully my fond memories of Cartoon Baloo singing Bear Necessities." said Dictator Stewie from that time he killed Lois.
"And the Simpsons are still funny and I am not refuting that..." Oscar frowned at him.
Stewie sighed.
They go to the meeting.
The meeting was about the town budget. And suggesting things to make the town better.
"Giant rats!" Barney suggested.
"No Barney..." Quimby sighed.
"Here is a monkey, and no you don't get it." said some weird woman from Arkansas or Maryland or possibly the south.
Oscar whined.
"Oh um... This town is also putting on a Blazing Guy Festival deep in the Akali Flats." said Mayor Quimby.
"Fire tastes burn-y when I lick it." said Ralph.
Oscar laughed.
Bart sighed bemused by Ralph's inane comments.
People chatted interested.
"Any more suggestions?" Quimby.
"More brothels!" said Moe.
"No!" Marge protested.
"Hey midge us guys with no wives to commit to are entitled to lust after women!" said Moe.
"Lusting after a woman is a sin! And it's creepy!" Marge yelled.
"Well I've got news for ya Marge. Not everyone in town is Christian! In fact not everyone is religious!" said Moe.
"I'm Hindu!" said Apu. "We wrote the Karma Sutra!"
"I'm worshipping Bacchus the Roman god of booze and debauchery right now. And he likes brothels..." said Oscar.
Marge seethed.
"Marge quit being a buzzkill..." said one of the band members of The Who.
Marge grumbled to herself.
...
And so Marge tried to protest against a brothel being built because it didn't suit her Madison Avenue plastic fantastic apple pie suburbia life style.
Belle of the Maison Derrière sighed.
"Let us bachelors, the kind waiting for wives not the college graduates... have some fun before we settle down!" Moe yelled.
"Fun? Women aren't play things! They're to be loved! Maybe even kissed..." said Marge.
"Midge you have Homer. Some of us guys have no one so we're free to ogle at babes all day." said Moe.
Marge seethed.
Then the brothels and drag queens um encouraged Rod.
"I'm jealous you get to wear Mommy's clothes..." Rod said to Lisa.
She grimaced.
"He means girls clothes like a dress..." said Ratchet Kimura.
Lisa looked freaked out.
"You freak!" Oscar yelled at Rod.
"Oz that's transphobic..." said Ratchet.
"And you're a kid. You're not supposed to be exposed to subjects like people cross dressing yet!" said Oscar.
"Come on Oz... this is embarrassing... let's watch Martin after karate beat up Nelson that missed out on when Homeboy insisted on making me eat my broccoli." said Bart to Oscar. They went to find Martin who was fighting Nelson.
"Eat your broccoli!" said Homer.
"ENOUGH! Beta Dad!" Oscar reduces him to a gibbering Beta Dad like Caillou's Dad.
Bart and Oscar went home to 7 42 Evergreen Terrace to watch Martin beat up Nelson.
Bart arrived dressed up as Bartman to keep the peace during the brawl.
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" kids chanted.
It was exciting as Bart imagined it to be as Martin after karate classes put up a good fight.
Sticky-Fingers Stella was there. And yes her name means she's a thief.
"Holy mashed potatoes, Bartman! She's stealing from the kids in the crowd!" said Milhouse as Houseboy.
Bartman winced.
"No! No! No! We are not doing Batman things! Stop comparing me to him!" Bartman yelled.
"Hurry! We must catch her!" said Milhouse.
"Wait, I wanna see if Martin wins." said Bart.
Milhouse frowned.
Luckily a new superhero stopped Sticky-Fingers Stella. Oscar as a new alter ego Mr Fahrenheit. Yes named after the song by Queen.
"No singing the lyrics..." Bart frowned.
Oscar sang as he flew at super sonic speed after Stella.
Bart winced.
Milhouse shrugged.
The Red Wildforce Power Ranger was still stabbing people...
"Is that your obsession right now... that a Power Ranger actor killed someone..." Bart frowned at Oscar.
"That and Jared Fogel..." said Oscar.
...
School. There's a meeting of Principals. Chalmers is laughing like Count Von Count.
"Ah Ah Ah!"
Bart is watching from the stage lights above the stage.
"Must cause trouble! And prank Chalmers and stuffy, boring principals!" Bart was consumed with the need to prank.
"I'd like to welcome all of the principals from the Springfield School District, including Skin-ner!" said Chalmers.
Skinner bolted upright in his chair stammering. "Y-y-yes sir?"
"Just making reference to." said Chalmers.
"Wein-berg!"
Possibly a Jewish principal.
"Sack-ett!"
"And Gwendolyn Hertz-feld-Mastroantonio!"
"Fake name!" Oscar heckled.
"Uh um... Yes thank you for your contribution Oscar..." Chalmers sighed.
"We are here for the annual Dance of the Lemons," said Chalmers. Which hopefully involves Lemongrab! "Where each of you gets to trade your worst teacher to another school."
"Hmmmmm, acceptable." said the Earl of Lemongrab.
"The union's happy, the parents are placated, and only the children suffer." said Chalmers. The suffering! Mwuhahahaha!"
"Children suffering is acceptable..." said Lemongrab.
(over video, whispering): Chalmskinn.
Stop doing that! That episode sucked!
John C Reilly was the ghost of Groundkeeper Willie.
He did a really stupid zombie groan mixed with a terrible Scooby Doo impression.
"That was terrible John..." said Chalmers.
"Behold your lemons!" said Chalmers pulling back the stage curtains revealling several bad teachers sat in chairs.
Crickets chirped as the principals gawked at the bad teachers. Ie drinkers, thieves, bullies like Ms Cantwell etc.
Lemongrab stood up. "These lemons are UNACCEPTABLE! UNACCEPTABLLLLLEEEE!"
Chalmers gave him an annoyed look.
"A MILLION YEARS DUNGEON! NOW!"
Lemongrab stop...
"Sociopathic child haters who are only teachers because they got tenure after two short years." said Chalmers.
"Stupid Lisa... Stupid Lisa... Stuoid Lisa..." Miss Cantwell muttered still angry about Lisa Simpson and strangely hostile towards her. Apparently the conclusion was that she hates pretty girls.
A teacher drank from his metal whiskey canteen.
"That's mean!" said a bad teacher they couldn't get rid of easily as they behaved long enough to get tenure before doing bad things like drinking in class.
"You know what you are." Chalmers said disgusted by the bad teachers.
(Taser buzzing) He zapped them with a taser.
"Coooooool!" said Oscar.
Bartman frowned at him.
...
Streets. The perverted, drunk bachelors looking for a few hours of ogling at underdressed whores were still fighting Marge and her religious brigade trying to enforce a wholesome but boring Mom and Apple pie lifestyle.
"We are not objects!" Marge yelled into a megaphone.
"Won't someone pleeeeeeaaaase think of the children!" Helen Lovejoy cried.
"Let's kill them all and make this place into a sexy, sexy brothel!" said a sweaty cigar chomping man in a sweaty, filthy vest and pants.
"Uh... No..." said Moe. We're not killing people!
The Red Wildforce Power Ranger scowled at Moe.
Back at the school principals teacher swap meeting with lemons!
"Uh, first lemon: from Springfield Elementary, going to West Springfield, third grade teacher, Sticky-Fingers Stella." said Chalmers.
A ginger haired lady teacher's briefcase at an inconvenient moment spilled its contents everywhere. Toys, a white pearl necklace and other things pile out. Yeah Stella's a teacher too.
"There's the stolen property!" said Milhouse as Houseboy.
"Bingo!" said Bartman smugly. He took a photo with his spy camera.
"Now, going to Springfield Elementary..." said Chalmers picking out a teacher to replace her.
"God have mercy." said Skinner stammering. Dreading the sort of bad teacher they might get.
"God has no place in these walls!" Oscar yelled.
"Uh yes Oscar..." said Chalmers.
"Seymour, your new teacher is..." said Chalmers. Apparently they were awful!
"Everybody pray!" He yelled despite being against that when Ned was principal.
"This is a public school." said Skinner.
"I said pray!" Chalmers yelled.
"Separation of the church and the state!" Oscar yelled.
"Finally one of our kids learnt something..." said Chalmers.
Bartman glared at Oscar.
"What?" Oscar asked.
"Are you deliberately trying to give our presence away?!" Bartman yelled.
"Bartman I know you're here..." said Chalmers.
Bart seethed.
"Duh maybe?" said Oscar smirking and rolling his eyes in a coy manner.
Bart glared at him.
"Third grade uh? Stella's your teacher Oz!" said Milhouse.
"Nuh uh. My teacher is Ms McConnell the teacher Bart moved down a grade to and Lisa moved up a grade to. She is also the second fourth grade teacher. Stella is the second third grade teacher. I don't know who's in her class... hopefully they're quirky and fun like me..." Oscar chuckled.
Bartman sighed flustered.
Oscar summoned a snarling slice of key lime pie. The dessert growled at Bart.
"Oz stop being a total spazzoid..." Bart seethed.
Oscar lunges at him and throttled him.
Milhouse shied away nervously, he seemed traumatised.
...
Elsewhere at the Command Centre from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
"Ay yi yi yi! Master Zordon!" Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature was dressed as Alpha 5.
Oscar face palmed.
"Voice actor joke..." Teddy grinned.
Plot 2
At Evergreen Terrace.
The red WildForce Power Ranger was stabbing people with a katana.
"Wild Access!" He powered up. It's Morphin' Time! Was better...
"Oh god! Snap out of it!" A guy tried to make the Red WildForce Ranger see reason.
"I don't wanna live anymore..." said the Green Power Ranger.
"I quit because I was bullied for being gay." said the blue ranger. Yes the original blue ranger is gay...
Mighty Morphing Power Rangers actor Maurice Mendoza died mysteriously at a very young age of 39.
"MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAA!" McBain screamed.
The Red Wildforce Power Ranger was still trying to kill people.
We pan over to Hank Simpson. Yes he's in this episode.
Hank was drawing cartoons.
"Hank?" Bart asked.
"Je Suis Charlie!" He chanted.
"Oh yeah, the Aloha Snackbars Aka Mohammed Maniacs murdered all those French satire comic illustrators because they can't handle people drawing their prophet." Oscar stated in rage.
"Oz not all Muslims are like that." said Bart.
"We're all like that. Filthy infidel! Aloha Snackbar!" Bashir yelled trying to stab Bart. Oscar karate chopped the knife out of his hand.
Batt sighed.
"Stop mocking their prophet!" Cartman yelled.
"It's a free country! We can draw satire of who we want! Fatass!" Oscar yelled at Cartman.
"Ey! I ain't fat!" Cartman yelled.
"I'm gonna do whatever I can... to get this episode pulled before this gets out of hand." said Cartman. "You're pissing people off!"
"I don't care if terrorists are offended! This is a free country! Besides I will stop you Fatass!" Oscar yelled.
"I'd like to see you try, Hippy!" Cartman snarked.
"Don't try me..." Oscar seethed.
Cartman did a mocking dance and sang an annoying tune to provoke Oscar.
Oscar beats the shit out of him.
Bart winced, freaked out by the serious injuries Oscar inflicted upon Cartman.
...
Skinners office.
The new teacher transferred over was a scary guy voiced by William Defoe.
"Mr. Lassen is here." The teacher was allowed in.
He lit up a cigarette.
"No smoking." said Skinner. Now we need him in a post office with Tommy Lee Jones later for the Men in Black II reference...
Mr Lassen stubbed the burning cigarette out on his own tongue and ate the cigarette. Ugh! He sat there glaring at Skinner.
"So, Mr. Lassen, you began your career at Shelbyville Prep." said Skinner.
"It seems that certain wealthy parents didn't like seeing their precious darlings duct-taped to the wall." said Lassen. Eep!
"Mm-hmm. And then you entered the public system." said Skinner.
"That's where I got this scar." said Lassen.
"What scar?" Skinner asked.
Lassen cut his own cheek with a scalpel. Ouch!
Skinner was horrified.
"Oh, I see you're left-handed." He broke the ice.
"Yes. I hear there's a leftorium in town." said Lassen.
"Yes. Owned by Ned Flanders. Stupid Edna stealing Flanders." Skinner muttered. Well you shouldn't have ditched her at the alter!
"Ahem, anything else?" Skinner asked.
"I was in Finding Nemo." Lassen sighed.
Skinner winced.
"Yeah it seemed odd given my career of playing scary psychopaths but I managed to put my usual cold, merciless character into the role of Gill." said Lassen.
"Um..."
"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED!" Lassen screamed. Yes we're including Norman Osbourne!
Skinner flinched.
"Also he was in Platoon, as the marijuana smoking guy..." said Oscar.
"Eh... Still better than most of our current teachers. Enjoy fourth grade." said Skinner.
Lassen coldly shook his hand.
"Now if only we could replace Willie..l" Skinner sighed.
We're not getting rid of Groundskeeper Willie...
...
Fourth Grade classroom. Well what was Mrs Krabappel's class before she died.
Bart and his friends had heard they were getting a new teacher. Finally...
"Guy, there's something I have to tell you." said Martin.
"We're getting a new teacher..." said Hugo.
"I was about to tell you that!" Martin yelled in a girlish tone because he is voiced by Minnie Mouse.
"Yes but I deduced that you were gonna say that. My dear Martin." said Hugo wearing a Sherlock Holmes hat.
Nelson punched him in the gut for being a geek. "Oof!"
Bart frowned at Hugo.
"How are we twins again..." Bart seethed.
The chatter between the Fourthies continues.
"So, any dirt on the new teacher?" asked Lewis.
"Nope. Not unless Mudboy threw mud at him or her." Oscar replied.
Bart winced.
"That means any info!" He yelled.
"Is he stingy with the pumpkin stickers?" Richard asked.
"I dunno." said Bart.
"Does he have OCD? OCD? OCD?" Milhouse asked. OCD sufferers repeat themselves.
"I don't know." Bart sat down at his desk.
"But in ten minutes, I'm gonna have him kneeling before Zod." said Bart. Hehehehe!
Everyone shrugged.
"In this example, I'm Zod." said Bart.
"KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!" Oscar screamed.
Bart slammed his head down upon his desk frustrated.
Richard sighed. "Oz why are you here? You're in third grade..."
"I'm the narrator. I have to be here. Besides I like making references to Zod... Kneel!" Oscar laughed.
"Shut up!" Bart yelled.
Oscar laughed while typing up this very episode.
Elsewhere in the other fourth grade class. Nikki is reading Twilight novels. As such Ace hates her for ruining vampires.
The twins who are a boy and a girl are busy doing their assignments.
Ms McConnell was smoking, in school...
...
We continue with Fourth Grade waiting for the new teacher to arrive.
(thumping)
Bart has something in the storage cupboard trying to get out.
"When he opens the door... Boo! The anatomy skeleton pops out!" said Bart.
"You mean Willie in a Halloween costume..." said Oscar.
Bart face palmed. "We got a new anatomy skeleton. Loser..."
"That's kind of scary, but it doesn't make me pee my pants." said Milhouse.
Mr Lassen arrived. He's scary...
"Hello." said the scary teacher.
(screams) Everyone screamed.
Milhouse peed himself as he had a wet patch on his red shorts.
"Haw Haw!" Nelson laughed at him.
"Eeeeewwww!" Bart groaned.
"So? I wet myself too!" Oscar frowned. He had a wet patch on the front of his brown shorts.
Everyone sat down.
"I'm Mr. Lassen." Mr Lassen wrote down his name.
"You mean Mr. Less-than?" Nelson smirked.
(students giggle)
"So, a comedian, are you?" Lassen snarled.
Nelson gulped.
"I got a pretty solid ten minutes." He said smugly regaining his confidence.
"Well, I could do five minutes on your pathetic vest and five minutes on your ugly buck teeth." Lassen snarled.
Everyone went "Ooooooooooo!"
Lassen continued insulting him.
"And I've got a whole HBO special's worth on your fat mama!" said Lassen.
"Ooooooooo!"
"Aw hell no! You did not just start insulting his Momma!" Oscar said in a sassy manner.
Bart face palmed.
"My mom can't afford to be fat- she's an exotic dancer." Nelson whimpered.
(chuckling): "Oh!" Big mistake Nelson... You gave Lassen ammo...
"And in what exotic location does she dance?" Lassen asked.
"A Touch of Class. But the "C-L" fell off." Nelson explained. Just like her Assy Lady Tattoo in Season 22...
"Son, there was never a "C-L."" said Lassen smugly.
"I-I think I always knew that!" Nelson stammered. He started crying.
...
"An overdramatic whiny crybaby." said Lassen.
Martin put up his hand.
"Yes..." Lassen sighed.
"I do not wish to question your reasonable authority Sir, but insulting his mother seemed a bit much!" said Nartin.
"Well look who ate all the pies!" Lassen insulted Martin for being fat.
"Hehehehe! Pies..." Oscar chuckled.
"Troll Doll..." Lassen insulted his hair.
Oscar seethed.
Milhouse could tell this teacher was not to be messed with...
"Bart, this guy served two tours in middle school. Abort prank!l said Milhouse.
"Abort!" Richard stammered.
"I will not." Bart frowned.
"Let women abort! You fascist!" Oscar snapped.
Bart frowned at him.
"Anything to delay a spelling test." said Bart muttering to himself.
(thumping)
Lassen heard something trying to get out of the supply closet/cupboard.
He looked in there. He wasn't the least bit startled by the skeleton popping out at him...
"Looks like I've got a prankster on my hands." said Lassen. He twigged Bart was responsible.
(chuckles) "You know, son, school code says a student's hair should be of uniform length." He said to Bart. His spikes are uniform.
"What are you gonna do to him?" Nelson stammered.
"Quiet... Smellson." said Lassen sharply.
"Smellson? I prayed no one would ever think of that!" Nelson cried.
"I did! In season 12!" Homer was suddenly sat at a desk. "When Mad Magazine came up with it first. To insult Party Posse."
Everyone looked deadpan.
"It's continuity people!" Homer yelled.
(razor buzzing)
Lassen shaved Bart's hair...
"Ay carumba!" Bart yelled.
Bo-Bo-Bo Bobobo wouldn't stand for this head shaving!
"Snot for you! Fist of the nose hair!" His nose hairs knocked Lassen away.
Bart winced exasperated.
"I love this anime..." Oscar chuckled.
And so we end Act 2 on absolute madness!
Plot 3
Simpson's house. Dining room. The family are having dinner.
"How was your first day at school, Bart?" Homer asked.
"First day with a new teacher! He's been stuck in a limbo of being in fourth grade since 1989!l Oscar corrected him.
"Well Smart Mouth. Bart would be 36 years old by now then!" Homer scoffed.
"Please do not bring logic to our lives... We get it... it's weird that Bart is still a kid..." said Lisa.
"Terrible." Bart groaned wearing his red cap.
"You want to talk about it?" Homer asked.
"No." said Bart.
"Oh, thank you." Homer sighed.
Marge started a conversation.
"Why are you wearing your hat at dinner?" Marge asked.
"This new teacher I got gave me a haircut." Bart sighed.
Hugo nodded.
"Hmm? A haircut? Let me see." Marge was concerned as teachers are not supposed to cut hair.
"No." Bart whined.
"Come on. Please?" Marge asked.
"No, you'll laugh at me." Bart whined.
"I won't laugh at you. Let's see." Marge took off his cap.
He had been shaved bald.
(laughing) Everyone laughed.
"Look at me. I'm Bart." Homer laughed.
Bart glared at him.
"We're sorry." Marge apologised, frowning at Homer.
(laughing) Everyone laughed.
Bart hid under the table cloth.
"Stop that, all of you." Marge scolded everyone.
Lisa giggled.
Maggie giggled too.
"It's not Bart's fault that his haircut looks so stupid." said Marge.
(Homer giggles)
"I didn't know that a teacher could cut kids' hair." said Lisa.
"Teachers' union won the right in their last strike." said Homer.
"No they didn't! Ding Dong! It's a clear violation of school rules. Lassen most certainly should be sacked immediately for shaving Bart's hair!" said Oscar.
"Yeah but then there's no episode! Smarty Pants!" Homer yelled.
"I'm going to go to that school and talk to that teacher." said Marge.
"Marge, please don't say anything. It never makes a difference, and then the teachers give us stink-eye during the school fairs." Homer groaned.
"Well, if he's gonna get a haircut, Bart should at least have gotten a balloon with it." said Marge.
Oscar dropped his knife and fork in furious shock about being misled. "YOU LIED!"
Everyone groaned frustrated.
"He's been like this all day..." Bart groaned.
"Nobody told me I'd get a balloon at the barbers!" said Oscar.
Everyone groaned.
"Thanks Mom. But please don't... Lassen will only pick on me further..." said Bart.
Marge sighed softly and rubbed his back comforting him.
Then we start the next part of the episode. You see, the Simpsons have a vacation planned!
"Well, anyway, Bart, you'll cheer up on our camping trip this weekend." said Marge.
"What camping trip?" Homer asked. He obviously didn't book it...
"The one you booked for us at Owl Haven." Marge glared at him. She could read that he had obviously forgot to book the vacation.
"No! Owl House!" Oscar yelled.
Everyone groaned. Bart looked ready to strangle him.
"Oz that doesn't exist yet..." Lisa sighed.
"I need a magic school franchise after Harry Potter and UBOs!" Oscar yelled.
Hugo face palmed.
"The one you have to reserve a year in advance." Marge nagged at Homer.
"Oh, uh, you told me not to do it a year ago. Remember?" Homer stammered.
"I don't remember that." said Marge.
"You're right. No one can be expected to remember something from a year ago." said Homer.
"I remember Krusty's dad dying." said Oscar.
Homer growled at him for embarrassing him.
"Certainly not me. Pass the gravy." Homer tried to end the conversation.
(gasps) "Don't tell me you didn't reserve a campsite." Marge was annoyed. "Labor Day is next weekend." said Marge.
"I want Conservative Day!" Oscar screeched.
Bart face palmed.
"There'll be nothing left." Marge explained.
"Hey, there's always room at Buzzard's Roost." Homer stammered.
"Excuse me, but Buzzard's Roost is a converted parking lot." said Lisa annoyed.
"Excuse me, but grass is poking through." Homer retorted.
"Why do I ever put you in charge?!" Marge yelled.
"Parking lot! of the littlest thing?" Lisa was exasperated.
"Poking through!" Homer yelled.
"Parking lot!"
"Poking through!"
(crying) Homer sobbed.
"Parking lot!" said Lisa.
"Poking through!" Homer yelled in tears.
And so on and so fourth...
...
Dinner. The Simpsons and Oscar were still eating their horrifyingly large dinner.
"I'd starve on British dinner..." Homer groaned as he ate his biscuits with gravy. What Yanks call a biscuit is actually a large savoury scone.
They had biscuits with gravy, collard greens, corn, mash, sweet potato pie etc.
"Fried chicken butt!" Oscar blurted out.
"Oscar! Now really..." Marge frowned at him.
However she was upset at Homer. Because he didn't book the vacation to go camping.
Marge cries.
"Oh, Marge, I can't stand it when you cry at dinner." said Homer.
"The pork chops look traumatized."
"Yeah! Because the poor innocent pigs they came from were violently slaughtered for dinner!" Lisa shouted.
"The mashed potatoes can't stand to watch." said Homer.
Oscar was sculpting his mash into a circus tent.
Everyone stared at him.
"Even the children seem upset." said Homer.
"The teacher shaved off all my hair! Of course I'm upset!" Bart replies annoyed at Dad.
"So trust me, I will come through for you, baby." said Homer.
Maggie sucked her pacifier.
"Not you." Homer said to her annoyed.
"So what do you say, Marge?" He asked.
"I want so much to believe you." Marge sobbed.
"And I want you to believe me, too. Isn't it great how much we agree?" said Homer.
Marge grumbled annoyed.
At Owl Haven.
"Luz I have no idea why the author is referencing us when we don't exist yet..." said Eda.
The Harry Potter books are all published and UBOS stopped making episodes and having reruns years ago!
Comic Book Buy and Kumiko arrived with their paper work to stay at the campsite.
Kumiko giggled and kissed Comic Book Guy.
Back at the Simpsons.
"This vacation you forgot to book is just like that time you cancelled Eric's booked birthday party at Chuck E Cheeses!" Marge yelled.
"Um I'm pretty sure that was Peter Griffin and that was Stewie's birthday party." Homer stammered.
...
School, fourth grade.
Bart wrote on the chalkboard in pink spray paint "Lassen is a loser!" And signed it El Barto.
"Looks like our blackboard has been defaced." said Lassen.
Bart smirked. He still had his silly hair cut.
"Lucky for you, I can take a joke." said Lassen in his creepy William Defoe manner.
(grunting) He punched a hole in the chalkboard and wall behind it.
Lisa in the classroom behind the wall winced as she was reading an essay when Lassen's fist came threw the wall.
"Hello?" Lisa stammered.
"Carry on as usual... Ms Hoover's class..." said Lassen.
"Hello? Is everything okay?" Lisa asked.
Milhouse's nose was poking through the hole in the wall. "Here's... Millie!"
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Milhouse atop being stupid!" Bart yelled.
"Excuse me, you ruined my report." Lisa sighed.
"Fine. You got an "A."" Lassen sighed.
"Oh! Yippee!" Lisa cheered.
"Oh shut up..." Lassen sighed annoyed.
"A!" said Fourth Grade.
"I love the letter A!" Hugo squeed. "Because it means successful."
Lassen twigged it was obvious Bart vandalised the chalkboard.
"You might fool some people, El Barto, but not me." He said in a creepy manner.
Spider Man was sat there.
"I'll deal with you later! Web Slinger!" Mr Lassen yelled. Because he's Norman Osbourne/The Green Goblin...
Lassen decided to get Bart back for his vandalism during science class.
"Class, this is a Van De Graf generator." said Lassen with that metal sphere on a poll that makes your hair static...
Rod put up his hand frantically.
"Yes... uh... Rod Flanders..."
"Can I be excused from this heathen subject? My daddy doesn't believe in science..." said Rod.
Lassen glared at him.
"If I excused you I'd have to excuse everyone! No! Sit down!" said Lassen.
"Please sir! Don't subject us to this devilish machine!" Ishmael and Ezekiel the Amish kids cried.
Mr Lassen sighed.
He continued explaining the Van de Graff generator.
(electrical buzzing)
"Now we're gonna learn about electricity." said Lassen.
Ezekiel and Ishmael screamed.
"It's evil! Eviiiiiiil!" Ishmael screamed doing a cross with his fingers.
Lassen sighed.
"Hey, live wire. Come up here." He called Bart up to demonstrate the Van de Graff generator.
Bart gulped and got up.
"Touch the generator." said Lassen.
Bart did so and got zapped.
Bart making goofy sounds as he got zapped.
"Even I think this is too far." said Nelson.
"Quiet, Smellson." Lassen snapped.
"It's sticking!" Nelson cried.
Bart was soon allowed to sit down. He was buzzing with electricity and twitching.
(grunting) Milhouse stuffed his Mypod charger in his mouth.
"I just need to get to 60%." said Milhouse.
Bart glared at him.
Plot 4
Recess.
"Milhouse, I'm gonna get back at Lassen." said Bart still buzzing with electricity.
"Now, The Hobbit taught us that every dragon has a chink in its armour." said Bart. "Wait! I hate reading!"
"I made you watch the film with me." said Hugo.
"It also taught us that New Zealand's beautiful landscapes and attractive tax credits add up to a filmmaker's paradise.
For more information, visit..." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse stop advertising websites!" Bart yelled.
"The Hobbit also taught us that our last hope to defeating apocalyptic forces of evil are tiny men with furry feet and that the angry dwarves and tree hugger elves are useless." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
"Now Oz... Gimli and Legolas helped out by slaughtering loads of orcs in a gory manner that ought to have piqued my twin's interest but he slept through out the entire film..." said Hugo.
"Okay stop geeking out over the Hobbit!" Bart yelled.
"You go my lad! Hohoho my lad!" Oscar and Hugo sang.
Bart face palmed.
Nelson arrived nervous and shy because of Lassen.
"Are you gonna get back at Lassen?" He stammered.
"Maybe..." said Bart.
"Please! You gotta teach that bully a lesson!" Nelson whined.
"To find out Lassen's weakness, I hid a camera in the teachers' lounge." said Bart. He was on his laptop. It had a live feed of the teacher's lounge.
(grunting)
"Ach! Wrong order!" Willie got the wrong coffee from the coffee machine.
"You seem lonely and kind of weird." said Miss Hoover to Mr Lassen.
"You left out "single."" Lassen smiled seductively.
"Mind if I heat up some goulash?" Skinner asked putting goulash in the microwave.
Ace the Romanian vampire kid seethed outraged. Well it's actually Hungarian but it's likely eaten over Eastern Europe. Also I get Budapest and Bucharest mixed up...
"Well don't!" Ace frowned.
"Let's continue this online." Lassen and Miss Hoover went online. Possibly Twitter.
Bart shuts off the live feed and goes on a forum.
"I've created a fake Ms. Hoover profile. When Lassen friends her, we'll know everything about him." said Bart.
"I don't know, Bart. You're lying about your identity?" Milhouse asked.
"That's against the terms and conditions."
Bart winced.
"We've all read the terms and conditions, Milhouse." He sighed.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
Lisa was playing a trombone.
"Shhhhh! Don't tell the fans..." said Hank holding her saxophone.
"Anyway about Nelson reduced to cowering because of Lassen..." said Oscar.
"It's against the natural order. He's supposed to be our school bully." said Bart.
Tremors shake and rock the place as if an earthquake is happening. The sky turns red.
"YOU FOOLS! YOU'VE MESSED WITH THE NATURAL ORDEEEEEER!" Sir Raven screamed.
"Okay, don't bully Nelson into a blubbering, wimpy state and Mandy, don't ever smile!" Oscar yelled.
...
Homer's work station at the plant.
Homer was desperately trying to book a last minute place at a lovely campsite. He was on the phone to Mrs Pommelhorse who is now a campsite ranger and still hasn't had her surgery to become a man.
"Look, I really need a campsite. My wife is making sandwiches." said Homer.
Omg! Super Franchise Me reference!
Hank face palmed.
"Sorry, reservations are a year in advance." said the campsite manager.
"What about Mosquito Cove?" Homer asked.
"Booked." said the lady.
"Skunk Canyon?" Eeeeew!
"Booked every year since 2003."
"Ooh, how about the campsite where the guy in the hockey mask kills all the campers?" said Homer. XD
Oscar laughed hysterically.
"Sir, that's a movie." The campsite manager sighed.
Jason Voorhees grabbed her and stabbed her to death! And yes this actually happens!
Homer: Hello? Hello?
Um Homer she's dead...
Jason takes the receiver and listens to Homer.
"This is Homer Simpson. 742 Evergreen Terrace. Looking for a place for my kids and me. And my pretty, pretty wife. You know, alarm code 3679. 3679!" said Homer.
Damn it Homer! He's writing it down in her blood! Now he's gonna come after you!
Elsewhere I have no idea why jerk face tried to remove this episode when there's no mention of diapers or Oscar being a pervert in it. Oh well, to spite him there's now a scene with Oscar wearing just a diaper being sniffed by Teddy in his bedroom.
Oscar sat kneeling on the bed while Teddy was sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose.
Hank seethed.
Teddy was still sniffing Oscar's diaper. Oscar blushed and sweated. He moaned submissively.
...
Back at school. Still at recess.
"So I hear you're getting back at Lassen." said Nelson repeating himself.
"Maybe I am. So?" said Bart.
"I have the slightest feeling of Deja Vu..." Hugo sighed.
"You got to do it, man. He preys on the weak." Nelson stuttered. "Now, give me your lunch money."
Milhouse handed home his lunch money.
"I'll take that." Mr Lassen snatched the stolen lunch money from Nelson.
(whimpers)
"Okay now you've gone too far! That's theft!" Oscar snapped.
"I'm not firing him." said Skinner.
Oscar seethed.
(cat screeches) There was a cat for some reason. I think Lassen kicked the poor feline...
"Here's Lassen's profile." Bart was on his laptop again.
Milhouse: What the...?
Bart: Tagged as Lassen?
(groans)
Lassen was at a Burning Man festival. But Matt thinking they could sue him for referencing them called it Blazing Guy. Also there's annoying surfers there.
"It says these were taken at Blazing Guy." said Bart.
"What's Blazing Guy?" Milhouse asked.
There was a video explaining what it was,
"Oh, that's convenient." said Milhouse.
"Helloha. Do you want to make your home in a self-sustaining city that only exists a few days a year?" said an annoying surfer guy. Gnarly...
"One that combines nudity,"
Oscar squealed delighted.
"Oz no!" Bart yelled.
"dust storms, children and all-consuming fires?" The surfer guy continued.
"Yaaaaaay! All consuming fire!" Oscar cheered delighted.
Bart face palmed.
"Then you, my bro or brah, are dreaming of Blazing Guy." said the annoying surfer guy.
"I'M GONNA KILL HIM! LET ME AT THAT STUPID SURFER GUY USING THAT BRAH WORD!" Oscar tried to get at Bart's laptop.
"Oz it's a video! He can't hear you..." said Bart.
"On the last day, the chosen one, or lgnis, sets f*re to the giant wooden Guy in a ritual dating back to 1986." said the surfer guy.
"Coooool! Paganism!" Bart cooed.
"The Blazing Guy Council of Elders, in conjunction with Duraflame, is very pleased to announce that this year's lgnis is Jack Lassen." Lassen was gonna be there.
(both gasp)
"So if we go there with a camera to film Lassen humiliating himself, I'll get revenge for him making me into this." said Bart showing he was now bald completely.
(chuckles) Milhouse laughed.
"I was trying to even it out." said Bart.
"You're starting to look like your dad." Milhouse laughed.
"No." said Bart.
"Baldness is hereditary!" Season 2 Homer with hair from Simpson and Delilah yelled.
"Oh no! It's true! I'm bald!" Bart sobbed.
"I'm lucky. I look just like my mom." said Milhouse.
"No we've determined in a previous episode that you take after your dad. If we put a tie on you and do it up tight you sound just like your dad." said Bart.
"Oh god the pointless, sad reminders of continuity! Get a life!" Hugo groaned at the fourth wall.
"Respect the continuity!" Oscar yelled.
"Yeah uuuuuuuhhhh... you should really, really get a life pal..." said Yakko.
...
Home.
(Marge and Lisa grunting)
"Gosh, that was a hard sleeping bag to roll up." Lisa groaned as they had folded something up.
"Those were your father's sweatpants." said Marge.
"Gah! The crotch! The crotch!" Captain McCallister was still having nightmares about Homer wearing out the crotch of his sweatpants.
Marge winced.
Homer came in.
(sighs) "Marge, I have a confession to make about this trip." said Homer.
"Homer I know. You forgot. That's why I'm still mad at you..." Marge seethed.
"Well actually I have good news! I-"
"I got us tickets to Blazing Guy." said Bart.
"Is this a vacation?" Lisa asked.
"It will be a fantastic vacation!" said Bart.
"Yeah well forget it boy. I'm the breadwinner here and I have to make up for carelessly not booking Owl Haven a year in advance. So I booked us the weekend in this lovely campsite in Crystal Lake!" said Homer.
The Simpsons including Hugo and Eric stared beguiled at him.
"What?" Homer asked.
"Dad that is from that horror film Friday the 13th..." said Bart.
"That Oscar put on once and you and Mom were really cross with him and he turned into Dark Oscar and tried to kill us in a violent tantrum..." said Hugo.
"It's about that Jason Voorhees guy who murders everyone who goes to Crystal Lake..." Marge winced. "Your father and I used to watch spooky films when we were dating."
Oscar laughed. "Coooooool! I wanna be killed by Jason!"
Bart winced at him.
"Well everyone get packed for camping. And possibly prepare yourselves to get murdered by Jason." said Homer.
Marge face palmed.
Oscar was delighted by the idea of Jason killing him.
"No! No! No! We have to go to Blazing Guy!" said Bart.
"Why?" Homer asked.
"So I can prank Mr Lassen and get revenge for him giving me this hair cut!" Bart yelled taking off his cap and showing he was bald.
His Family all laughed at him.
Bart groaned.
Marge stopped laughing. "Bart I don't approve of you pranking people! In fact I forbid it!"
"Oz... make with your evil powers and scare Mom..." Bart groaned.
"No!" said Oscar.
"Why not?!" Bart yelled.
"Because I want to go to Crystal Lake and be murdered by Jason!" said Oscar.
Bart head butts a door repeatedly in frustration.
"Bart don't give yourself a big boo boo..." Marge sighed.
"Hehehehe... boo boo..." Oscar chuckled.
Plot 5
Packing to go on vacation.
"Guys! The script says we go to Blazing Guy." said Bart.
"Well don't particularly want a masked psychopath trying to kill us..." said Marge.
"Blazing Guy is a Druid style wicker man burning party but with nudity and drugs..." said Oscar.
Marge gasped. "Certainly not!"
Bart seethed.
"Oz stop being annoying!" He growled.
"I want to be killed by Jason!" Oscar said delighted.
Lisa did a "He's crazy!" Gesture.
"And I wanna meet those grey cartoon squirrels from Grim Adventures again and let them sniff me with their big wet shiny black noses!" Oscar screeched.
Bart face palmed.
Elsewhere Jerk face insisted there be Scooby Doo!
"Like groovy man! I have the munchies!" said Shaggy.
Jerk face insisted there was poop eating...
Also Jerk face what is with the poop eating?! And I'm the weird one apparently?!
(It was for a joke based off a song. not some fetish.)
Shut up jerk. People can write about diapers in stories if they want...
Black Velma arrived.
"Like Zoinks! It's an impostor dressed up as Velma!" said Shaggy.
"I am Velma. SJWs black washed the new spin off so the gang has at least one minority character."
"Why didn't they just give us a new friend? The more friends the better! We're not racist, Anyone at school can join the mystery gang!" said Fred.
"It was easier for the writers to change my skin colour." said Black Velma.
Also Moe got fat.
"Yeah someones clearly got a fetish here." Moe said.
Hank seethed.
...
However unfortunately for Oscar the plot states they go to Blazing Guy.
He sulked in the car.
"I hate sand, it's corse and gets everywhere."
"Stop quoting Anakin..." Bart sighed.
"Sorry sport but this is Bart's episode and he wants his conclusion where everything goes back to normal..." Homer sighed.
"I wanted to be killed by Jason Voorhees..." Oscar seethed.
They arrive at the desert festival with cake cars and glow in the dark paint etc.
"Oh. (gasps) A world of anarchic free expression." said Lisa who seems to like the place for its free expression.
"Cars shaped like cupcakes!" Homer squealed with glee. "I'm home. I'm home."
(gasps) He tries to blow out the candle on some guy's head as he rides in a cupcake car.
"No, no, no, don't blow me out, wise guy. Not in the mood." said the hippy guy.
Homer groaned.
"LET HIM BLOW YOU OUT!" Oscar snapped.
Marge sighed.
"Oh heaves! Sand! Horrible, horrible sand! They were like animals! I slaughtered them like animals!" Anakin screamed angrily about the sand.
Bart winced.
"I'm not sure this campground is family-friendly." Marge noticed the under dressed people.
"All camping is pointless. You drive hundreds of miles to shower and sleep in a place with no bathroom or beds." said Homer.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is: Where's Maggie?" Homer screamed.
Marge gasped. Maggie was being breastfed by a statue.
"We brought Cheerios for you." Marge groaned.
"Marge! Breastfeeding is natural!" Their hipster neighbour's wife from [The Day the Earth Stood Cool] yelled.
"Mother of little Sir Bites-a-Lot!" said Marge holding Hugo by the scruff of his t shirt. Hugo growled and snapped his teeth like an angry dog.
...
They set up their tent.
There was a sign that said, "Please do not shoot the road signs."
Oscar pulled out a black handgun and fired a few rounds at the road signs.
"Oscar!" Lisa yelled.
A man was helping Marge and Homer make sure their tent pegs were buried deep.
"Now, you know the wind does kick up here. Hope you went three feet down with your tent stakes." said the guy.
"Uh, listen here, Desert Arnaz. Homer Simpson knows how to pitch a tent." Homer said in a pompous manner like he knew what he was doing.
The wind plucked up their orange tent and it flew away.
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.
Oscar laughed.
"Hey man, can I bum a tent?" Homer asked the carnival guy.
(groans) Marge grumbled annoyed at Homer.
"I was promised nudity..." Oscar said feeling grumpy that they came here and not Crystal Lake still.
"Oz no! No taking your clothes off!" Bart groaned.
Marge grumbled.
"You seem stressed. Have some calming tea." asked a lady at the carnival, druggy artisan free expression event. She poured Marge a cup of tea.
"Finally. A normal person." said Marge sipping the tea.
"Ah. Thank you, Miss, um..".
"Calypso Self-Knowledge." said the carnival cosplayer hippy lady.
"That's not a real name..." Oscar sighed annoyed.
Calypso unfolded her butterfly wings. Yes she's cosplaying as a butterfly...
"Is that tea... adulterated?" Marge asked. Omg! Cannabis tea!
"Does that look like something I'd do?" the lady said slyly.
"Give then all tea... it will make my time here a lot more fun..." Oscar whispered.
"Hey, Marge." Homer had a big green tent. "We got a new tent from a guy who just O.D.'d."
"Coooooool! I wanna see his dead body!" Oscar cheered.
"Eeeeeeew! Oz!" Bart groaned.
...
Still at Blazing Guy.
The Simpsons we're outside their new tent.
"Your gonna like this episode if you have the most stupidest thing I can imagine. A Fursuit." said Bart.
"Hey quit hating on furries! Jerk!" said Oscar. We cut to him wearing a fursuit. He's dressed up as a purple and green cartoon wolf.
"Well it's pretty stupid to wear a fluffy furry costume in the middle of the desert, Oz..." Bart sighed.
Maggie was sucking on a syringe like it was a pacifier.
Marge gasped horrified.
"Awwwww! Cute!" Homer cooed. "Let me take a picture." He took a photo with his smart phone.
At the Nuclear Power Plant.
The Power Planet is on fire! With the screaming and wailing!
Carl got a photo of Maggie with a syringe in her mouth texted to him from Homer.
"Aawwwww!" He cooed.
"Smitty is still in there!" Charlie yelled.
"You mean Spitty." said Lenny.
"Lenny that is not funny!" Carl yelled.
At the desert Blazing Guy festival.
Lisa had her saxophone with her. She looked at all the free expression performers.
"Brass Brand..," They were barely wearing anything except loincloths!
"A barbershop quintet..." it's supposed to be four not five...
"A guy dressed as a kazoo playing a kazoo..." Those are stupider and gayer than barbershop quartets and accordions...
"An accordionist..." Kill it! Kill it now!
"Oh a drum circle!" said Lisa.
The guys with drums were playing by hitting their drums. Lisa joined in playing her saxophone.
A guy had a flamethrower tuba! Cooooooool!
"I want a flamethrower tuba..." said Oscar.
"Oz we're not letting you have a flamethrower tuba..." Homer sighed.
...
Bart is paying on Lassen with Milhouse.
"There he is." said Bart,
(gasps) "His nipples are asymmetrical. This could ruin him." said Milhouse.
Bart took his binoculars and frowned at him for pointing out weird things like his nipples.
"Milhouse, everyone here is a total freak. We have to find a way to completely humiliate Lassen." said Bart.
"Get a picture of a restaurant check with no tip, put it online, say it was him." Milhouse asked. "Kaboom, he's finished."
"Mmm. No." Bart thought that was a ridiculous idea.
"Mmm. Oh. Suddenly this place doesn't seem so bad." Marge was uh... high...
"This place is great. Just have to avoid these inseam-high cactuses." Homer carefully stepped around some short cacti. "Hup, hup. D'oh!" However he pricked himself on one.
"That's cacti..." said Hugo reading a book.
"No one likes a smarty pants..." Homer frowned.
"Oh. Are you Mr. Clean?" Marge high on the weird tea asked someone.
(scoffs) "Compared to the rest of these people, yeah." said the Blazing Guy festival performer.
"I'm Mr Cleanz. I must destwoy you!" Marge started seeing things... like evil Mr Cleanz.
Marge screamed.
"Marge what's wrong?" Homer asked.
"Uh... nothing..." said Marge.
"Then stop screaming so loud!" said Homer.
Marge moaned quietly as the imaginary Mr Cleanz attacked her.
Milhouse was hogging the only phone.
"So give the Tooth Fairy my forwarding address, 'cause it's pretty loose." said Milhouse putting down the phone.
"About time." said a performer.
"It's the only phone." said another.
"You don't count." One said to a guy dressed up as a huge phone.
Back at Bart and Milhouse.
"Maybe we should just give up on Lassen." said Milhouse.
"No. This lgnis thing is the biggest deal of his life. And I'm gonna wreck it. Because he scarred me forever." said Bart.
Hos hair was growing back.
"Hey, it grew back." said Milhouse.
"A little better, even." Bart smiled.
"So full and lush." Milhouse stroked his hair...
"Enough." Bart snapped.
...
"Mmm. It's like someone ironed out all the wrinkles in my brain." Marge was high...
She hallucinates a folded up green sleeping bag turn into a cartoon green worm with glasses and a big shiny red nose.
The hotdogs on the barbecue had little faces and the barbecue became a xylophone as music played.
There was a cartoon tambourine with a face. He kept punching himself.
Oscar laughed.
The purple Chinese lanterns turned into fat purple flies.
And Red space coyote from Homer's chilli induced hallucinations returned!
"Marge find your soul mate..." said red space coyote.
And Homer was a trombone playing elephant. He produced gay rainbows as he played his trombone.
In reality a sandstorm had started.
"Get in the tent! Get in the tent!" Homer yelled.
Marge was too high...
Homer carried her into the tent.
But she was sand. And sand Marge collapsed into sand.
"D'oh!" Homer put on a red bandanna and went back out and found Narge.
"Thank you trombone elephant..." said Marge.
Homer didn't know how to respond so he made a stupid noise that was an elephant sound apparently.
Plot 6
The Simpsons and Oscar and Milhouse all retreated to the tent because dust storms are dangerous.
"Uh Dad... Mom's pupils are dilated..." Lisa winced as Marge was high...
Marge was still seeing the green cartoon worm, the dancing hotdogs and the cartoon tambourine punching himself.
The dust storm didn't leave until night fell.
Bart was still pondering how to humiliate Lassen.
He saw a container of fire retardant.
"Bingo!"
Milhouse made a beguiled sound.
"I got it Milhouse! If Lassen as Ignis can't light the burning man then he'll be humiliated!" said Bart.
"I'm scared Bart, and I don't get scared." said Milhouse.
"Milhouse you always get scared. You get scared of the Pixar movie Cars!" Bart frowned.
A person in glow in the dark paint wearing a ridiculous costume walked past.
"Ugh! hideous..." said Bart.
"These kids are gonna ruin the ceremony. It's too bad I'm just an illusion." said a big blue cartoon octopus with a big round shiny blue nose.
"Shut up cartoon octopus! Or I'll tweak your big wet shiny blue nose!" Oscar yelled. "I drank the weird tea too..."
"Well this is a great vacation Homer. And that tea really ironed out all the disappointment I had over you not booking our trip to Owl Haven." said Marge high.
"Note to self get butterfly lady's tea recipe..." said Homer.
"No! I'm suburban, plastic conservative housewife! No to drugs!" Marge nagged.
"Have some tea..." Oscar offered her the weird tea.
The ceremony began.
"Ignis! Light the burning man, I mean Blazing Guy..." said a lady with blue and teal hair.
A guy was in a wheel rolling about.
Lassen arrived. He threw a torch at the Blazing guy effigy. It went out.
Awwwww...
Mr Stay Puft the marshmallow man was unhappy.
"Oh great the marshmallow monster from Ghostbusters is unhappy, now we're all gonna die!" Oscar yelled.
"Oz that is a man in costume!" Bart groaned exasperated.
"Make it happen!" Someone yelled.
"You're not helping..." said Lassen.
He threw two flaming torches at the effigy. They were snuffed out.
"Ignis has failed his duty! Strip him of his nudity!" said the blue haired lady.
The festival performers put his clothes back on him and removed his face paint.
"Why is there a jester burning money..." Lisa winced as a jester burnt money.
Bart and Milhouse laughed at Lassen.
However Bart in his fit of giggles kicked a can of fire retardant towards Lassen.
He seethed. "You!"
Bart gulped.
"We May not have a Blazing Guy... but we can always have a Blazing boy!" Lassen said menacingly.
He grabbed the flamethrower tuba and blasted fire at Bart.
"Ay carumba!" Bart screamed, fleeing the flames.
(Tuba sounds) and fire!
"Coooool! Burn Barty! Burn!" Oscar cooed menacingly.
"We have to stop him!" said Marge.
"Well looks like Bart has another murderous arch enemy..." said Lisa.
"Can't I have one vacation without you curs mentioning my obsession with killing that brat Bart Simpson?!" Sideshow Bob groaned.
Bart flees Lassen as he tries to burn Bart. Bart yelled as flames licked the air where he was. He climbed a sculpture to flee Lassen.
"(panting) Come on! Help me you freakishly dressed weirdos!" Bart whined.
Homer decided to be a hero. He took Calypso's butterfly wings.
"Sting like a butterfly! Float like a- Uh oh..." He fell and crashed into the effigy's leg. Destabilising it.
"I can't actually fly with those wings!" said Calypso.
Homer groaned.
Bart panted as he was chased about a smaller sculpture by Lassen shooting fire at him.
Suddenly a web bungee cord stuck to Bart and yanked him away.
He winced as Spider Man rescued him.
"Accursed Wall crawler!" Lassen yelled.
"Narrator no! Just because he's voiced by William Defoe..." Bart groaned.
"Hey Goblin! Where's your costume? said Spidey.
"Form a Human prison! And hold him for five days!" said the blue haired lady.
The performers trapped Lassen.
"No!" Lassen yelled.
"How many days?" A performer making up the cell of bodies asked.
Spider Man took Bart and Milhouse to safety.
"Well that was disappointing but you got him Bart." said Milhouse.
"Well I think we should get my folks to call it a night and get home. My dad forgot to pack drinking water..." Bart was smacking his tongue from dehydration."
"We could have been chased by Jason Voorhees all night..." Oscar groaned.
Bart rolled his eyes.
We cut to Marge.
"Oooooooh! When is this tea gonna leave my system..."
She hallucinates Milhouse with an even bigger nose as some sort of muppet. Bart dancing and his face moving up and down his paint can head. Lisa was a saxophone creature with her dis embodied head sitting in the spout of the saxophone where sound comes out of, she was making saxophone sounds.
There was also a giant blue cartoon octopus with a big round shiny blue nose.
"Holy crap! She's high!" Oscar yelled.
...
School, principal office.
"Lasseeeeeeen!" Chalmers yelled. "Your behaviour at this Blazing Guy festival was so bad I am doing the one thing I rarely ever get to do! Fire a teacher! You're sacked! Get out!"
"Oh and hand in your red pen." said Skinner, taking in his red pen.
"Where will you go now?" Skinner asked.
"Oh I'll find a job somewhere..." said Lassen.
He got a job as a warden at the Springfield penitentiary prison.
"Okay scum! Lights out! You too uh-" He notices Sideshow Bob was throwing darts at a poster of Bart. "You hate him too?"
"Yes I loath that brat Simpson..." said Bob.
"We should team up. Together we'll have our revenge!" said Lassen.
"Uh that seems a little cliched." said Bob.
Oh go on! It would be cool!
"Oh fine! Death to Bart Simpson!" They shook hands.
The end!