Till We Meet Again Chapter Three: A Dream's End
Her life started in a pod.
From the moment she gained consciousness, she knew her purpose. When she woke for the first time in her long and dreamless life, she was greeted with a voice for which she could not find a speaker.
"For Her Majesty… Feel glory in your birth… For Her Majesty… Accept your honor and your destiny… For Her Majesty…" The voice repeated, masking whatever thoughts she could've formed. A pair of mechanical hands scooped her up, blinding lights skewing her vision to the point of blindness as she was brought into the world, and with not a moment to catch her breath, she was whisked and thrown into life.
She walked through an untended garden, its bushes overgrown and unsightly, navigating through colossal insectoid carcasses and even more incubators for where her siblings lay dormant.
Her mind ground to a halt when she and countless others entered a council chamber.
Only one person was inside, a woman with a blurry face upon a throne, her body dainty and thin, as if she was barely clinging to life. A warning was ushered to her in a whispered breath from another, but when she found herself staring, it was already too late as a voice called to her from the far recesses of her mind.
"Come closer… my child…" The soft voice sent shockwaves through her mind and invoked an unexplainable frenzy upon her consciousness, but she listened—her body commanded her to.
Kneeling and kissing the woman's fingertips, the girl couldn't help but remark in her mind the cold, icy skin that met her lips. As if she was frozen solid and undeserving of whatever warmth the world would give her. Whatever consciousness she had left was flayed at the contact, an unknowable complex emotion amidst the frenzy in her mind replacing it.
"Ignite yourself to the last moment, for the future of Glamoth…" AR-26710 could feel the words crash against her skull like turbulent waves on a beach.
"For Your Majesty…" The words slipped out of her mouth. Whether it was her speaking or some unknown force, she could not tell. All that she knew was that her life of servitude had started and that whatever unease she had felt before was replaced with an unflinching pride to be alive.
She was born for their empire. She was born for their empress. At that moment, pride was all that replaced whatever doubts she had. So, as a proud member of the Iron Cavalry of Glamoth, AR-26710 served her empress with undying fealty, for it was their empire that she was born to serve, and it was their empire that she would serve even in her death.
She quickly grew accustomed to her life. She grew accustomed to death. She saw her comrades fall; others replaced them, but even they joined them shortly after. She unblinkingly accepted that fact, for she knew she would join them one day. Paving a path for her future comrades that would do the same.
For Their Majesty…
Moments of rest, however, were greatly appreciated.
She would look up into the stars and bask in their radiance. No matter what emotion she could carry, only tranquility existed beneath starry skies. Despite the looming threat of entropy loss, she would shed her battle armor at those moments, for she yearned to glimpse the world's true nature, even for the briefest moments.
A comrade she had was similar in that aspect to her. She, too, voided regulations in the search for personal satisfaction. It was an odd concept to AR-26710, who would gladly give her life for her empire and never so much as questioned her place in the pecking order, but in moments like those where peace reigned, she couldn't help but hope for something more from her life than war.
She heard stories from AR-214 of how civilians lived their lives. What many would consider 'normal' from everyday life, AR-26710 did not think as such. They were anomalies to her, but that only intrigued her more. She wanted what they had. She wished whoever would listen to her would give her that kind of life.
That wish was left ungranted, as was every other personal desire of hers. Not even now, when not a person was around.
Not even when she was at her absolute lowest.
No matter where she looked, innumerable corpses met her vision.
The bodies of her brothers and sisters she fought alongside, ones that she bled with. The same ones that she'd watch die and be replaced with a simple drop of the hat. This time wasn't supposed to be any different.
For their empire, they lived. For their empire, they died.
For Their Majesty…
What did that amount to at the end of it all? The only thing left now was the scent of viscera, ash, the earth, and the continuous flapping of thousands of wings.
Her comms were dead; a part of her knew that they would continue to be so for the rest of her life. The air was still, unnervingly so, and only a barren wasteland was left in the wake of the explosion that wiped out the rest of their forces. The only signs of life were the ever-propagating Swarm up above. For the first time in her life that she could remember, she was well and truly alone. The freedom she'd wished for had finally arrived.
She never imagined liberation could feel so suffocating.
But she couldn't falter now. This was when she'd bear her teeth. If no one remembered their sacrifices, she'd endeavor to. Everyone, including the brothers and sisters she had never met. Especially her squadmates. AR-53945, who had long perished under the Swarm's constant assault. AR-214 victim of her entropy loss after the multiple extended rendezvous outside her armor. She'd even remember AR-1368, that austere woman who always followed regulation with an iron resolve.
AR-26710 would remember all of them. Even the nameless masses. For who would if she wouldn't? She alone would bear that cross. She'd carry on the wills of the fallen.
Tears she didn't know she'd been holding back streaked down her face. The silent grief she'd hidden away now washed over her as she looked up at the Swarm flying overhead.
AR-26710's job wasn't done. As the last standing Iron Cavalry, she had her oath to uphold. The Swarm was her eternal enemy; she couldn't permit a single member to live. But she wouldn't let her story end afterward, either. She would fight to live, not to die, but to cherish the life she had left.
Then, an epiphany hit her as she stared at the sky above. A saying came to mind in a flood of thought—a mantra that resonated deeply in her soul.
For the first time, she had a thought that was well and truly her own.
"I dreamed of a scorched earth…" A burning land echoed in her mind, a place she'd grown accustomed to calling 'home.' "A new shoot sprouted from the earth… It bloomed in the morning sun…and whispered to me…" She could feel the ambient heat rising alongside her, the sun bathing her body as it breached the horizon and washed the land in its light. "Like fyreflies to a flame…" Her tears boiled and evaporated alongside the donning of her armor, her flames never feeling as comforting in her entire life as they did at that moment.
Her armor had always felt like a prison, but this time, it was different. She now wielded it for a purpose she believed in, one she would strive for. "…life begets death." Then, wings sprouted from her back like a chrysalis, giving way to new life.
The flames that burned her life away were no longer so. They were the flames of her liberation. Ones she would let reverberate across the very stars she'd looked up to.
Without another thought crossing her mind, she took off. Then, from her suit, flames spilled, and from her swords, a pillar of light descended upon the horde of insects and planet with equal fervor.
Everything remained still for a moment, then with the force of a dying star and her flames bathing her armored body, the planet erupted into light, cracking and splintering from the sheer force she exerted. The target of her attack—The Swarm—stood no chance against the sheer force of her blow as they were vaporized. Then, with one final flash of light that echoed across the surface and spilled out to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, it split.
AR-26710 looked over the sight, making sure to watch it all unblinkingly.
It was a somber sight. It was home to many at one point. Home to families that laughed and lived to the fullest, even against dire straits. The empire was gone. The birthplace from where her life started had been erased. Now, it all ended on a desolate planet they'd long since abandoned. Her comrades were finally laid to rest for good. There would be no more death for her unborn brothers and sisters. She only hoped that her flames would cleanse the ones that had died and deliver them to a happier place—a warmer place.
Glamoth was gone now, but she was still here.
The last remaining Iron Cavalry. The Molten Knight.
Her consciousness faded shortly after that, her suit shutting down in the vacuum of space, thus beginning her long and dreamless slumber.
She came to, slowly but surely, her consciousness fading in and out intermittently. Eventually, she found enough of a foothold for her consciousness to return, like running water finding its path toward a stream.
An unfamiliar galaxy met her eyes. No matter where she looked, no sight was recognizable to her. It seemed she'd been floating for quite some time. She tried moving, but the action was futile. Her suit had most likely diverted all power to life support in an attempt to preserve her. It probably assumed an evac would come for her eventually. An evac that she was keenly aware would never come.
Luminescent cosmic plankton twirled and danced around her as if surveying whatever it was that absently floated through space. All she could do was watch as they dispersed into the unseeable distance. She wondered then where her journey would lead.
She felt no despair at that nor grief. She was simply content. As long as she would live, that's all that mattered to her.
"For what do we die?" Her lips moved. The modulation of her suit distorted and warped in desperate need of repair. "For what do we live?" She couldn't help but repeat those two questions. A testament to her life that she'd lived so far.
The concept of a "dream" remained elusive to her; however, as she stared into the boundless darkness of space, her mind continued grappling with the search for answers. Answers that would have to wait as she felt her consciousness slipping yet again, her suit initiating its cryo-sleep procedure.
Would she find her answers in the stars she'd always admired? That would be seen the next time she woke. "Like fireflies to a flame, life begets death." Her mantra laced her lips as she succumbed yet again to her dreamless sleep.
"And thus, the Republic of Glamoth met its downfall, leaving behind mere rumors about the Iron Cavalries." Her reawakening was abrupt as her eyes shot open, her breath hitched only to be met with the liquid that submerged her body. She choked as she wrenched herself free of the capsule she found herself in. The voice she heard was the only thing anchoring her to reality as she fought off unconsciousness and her coughing fit. Steam filled the room as she used her flames to warm her cold body. When she got her bearings, her alertness told her one thing.
Someone else was in control.
"All Iron Cavalries were genetically engineered babies to ensure control over the Republic's most powerful weapon. They each carried a predetermined genetic defect that would accelerate their aging at a certain spot of their life, leading to their premature death…" The footsteps drew nearer, the woman's voice grew clearer. Something about it sent a chill down the spine of AR-26710.
"A predetermined fate… much like ours, wouldn't you agree?" The door of the cabin opened, revealing the origin of the voice she'd been hearing. A woman in her late 20s, maybe early 30s, red wine-colored hair tied into a messy ponytail, her eyes a similar shade, she wore a white dress shirt, a black jacket draped over her shoulders, wine-colored gloves, black, high-waisted shorts and nylon tights, and black boots. One look at her told AR-26710 that the woman was into fashion, but what irked her more was what she felt like.
It was like she was trapped in a spider's web.
Flames enveloped her body as her Molten Knight armor materialized as if in response to her survival instinct.
"Who are you?" The modulator on her suit crackling alongside her words.
The woman before her smiled, as if they were old friends reuniting after a long time.
"Do you believe in fate? Those who walk in the same direction will eventually find their peers, and now… here we meet." She took another step forward, fear obviously vacant from her eyes.
"I asked a question. State your name." AR-26710's voice boomed in the room, her flames burning even hotter than the moment before.
"Prickly one, aren't you?" The woman spoke with a droll. "Kafka." The name slipped out of her mouth like a venom. "You?" The innocent-sounding question wasn't something she'd expected out of the woman. Before AR-26710 could answer, however, the woman laughed. "Sorry, I almost forgot you people go by codes." She wasn't openly hostile, but something about her demanded that she remain on guard.
"Where am I? What do you want?" Her flames, however, dissipated along with her will, and she lowered the arm that she had raised. She relaxed an alarming amount in a moment as if her body—that only a second before screamed at her that the woman was dangerous—had decided that she was no threat.
"Finally calm?" Kafka didn't move, simply staring at her with her unchanging smile, her eyes peering through her being. Something about this person was dangerous. She couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but if she had to guess, she'd been in her grasp the moment she responded to her. Her voice was her weapon, and AR-26710 had already lost.
"You're on our ship. Well, I say 'our,' but there's still only the two of us so far." The woman scoffed slightly.
"Us?" There was another? Outnumbered and possibly outgunned. The longer she stayed the more hopeless this was beginning to look.
"My boss." The woman corrected herself. "Your boss, too, if you'd fancy that." Her words cut through the air. The meaning to them clear as day.
"You have to be joking—"
"AR-26710, the last remaining Iron Cavalry after the destruction of the Republic of Glamoth." Hearing her say those words made everything sink in just that little bit more. "Glamoth fell quite a while ago. You're technically older than an Aeon even. Though I guess you wouldn't know that, considering that even after Tayzzyronth's death, your empire desperately clung to life. It didn't last long, though. The Swarm continued to propagate endlessly, and with the dissonance between the government, the public, and the Iron Cavalry, the empire eventually met its end." The woman drew closer, to the point where either could reach out and touch the other.
"You saw the death of your empire. Then, as the last Iron Cavalry, you dutifully sealed the fate of Glamoth by sending them off with one last bang." She stared up at her, a pop to her words. "Now, you just want to find an answer to your remaining life. Why do you live? Why do you die? Sound about right?" It felt like she was reading her mind. It was unnerving in a way AR-26710 had never felt.
"How?"
"Elio, our leader." She was clearly getting ahead of herself. "He follows the Finality. You could say he's Terminus' only emanator." The words struck a particular nerve in the knight. Did she think she was gullible enough to believe that?
"You're a fool." She spat the words out. "Terminus has never looked favorably upon anyone—" Without missing a beat, a laugh erupted through the cabin. The woman's cackle was eerily different from what she expected out of her.
"Right?" She held her sides, laughing at the Molten Knight's words. "That's exactly what I thought." The woman brushed her hand along her armor as if admiring it. "But I've seen it more than enough now to know it's true."
"It?"
"His script." The woman's smile returned. "We're all in it, just actors playing our parts. The only difference is that They love Their little scriptwriter enough to give him all the juicy details." The woman's eyes peered right into her visor. "Elio, after his audiences, continues to write his ever-extending script. Of course, he needed staffing to enact his plans, so he kindly invited me. Of course, that meant I was let in on his script all the same." The woman turned back around, her back facing her now. "Now he extends his invitation to you. You help him, and he'll lead you to what you want most. Those are the deals he makes with us." Now, those words struck the girl the most.
Her armor disappeared at that. In its place, AR-26710 stood with wide-eyed shock. "You mean—"
"A cure to entropy loss… A means to continue living." The woman's arms quickly laced around her, offering no escape, her hand quickly guiding the girl's head to her bosom. It was the first hug AR-26710 had received in her entire life. It was an embrace a mother would give to her child. "You don't have to be lost anymore." The words tickled her ear, but she paid them no mind.
She couldn't remember a time she'd ever been this warm.
Kafka slowly pulled away from her. The woman's hands traced down toward hers and grabbed them. "So, what will you do? Refuse or accept? Though, I think we both know it's pointless to resist fate." The woman was already keenly aware that she had sealed the deal.
Everything had already gone her way.
AR-26710 exhaled a breath she didn't know she had held. "If it means gaining the life I wish for. Then there's no other option but to accept." This was the only conclusion that made sense to her in a galaxy where she didn't know her left to right. She needed whatever help she could get, and it just happened to arrive on a silver platter. She was given her choice. It was a simple give-and-take.
"Well, with that settled, Elio's been expecting you; I'll lead you to him." With a gesture, Kafka walked toward the door, and AR-26710 found herself following. "With all that boring drivel out of the way, I welcome you to the Stellaron Hunters. I hope we get along." The woman spared a glance back to her. "Firefly."
"Firefly?" AR-26710 repeated slowly. She didn't understand.
"I'm not calling you a code, so I'm giving you a name." Kafka gazed down toward the shorter girl, her eyes oozing with a caring and nurturing energy. "You remind me of them. Fireflies. Despite their tiny size, they shine brighter than any star at night." The woman continued with a tilt of her head, her smile growing softer. "What? The name not to your fancy?"
"No, of course not… Firefly." She repeated it even slower this time. It was as if she was testing it like you would the water from a hot bath. Saying it made her happy.
She wasn't part of the Iron Cavalry anymore. She is the Iron Cavalry. She was no longer part of a group. She was an individual now.
Firefly couldn't help but smile at the older woman. It didn't matter anymore that her senses told her she was dangerous. It didn't matter if she knew that Kafka was someone you shouldn't trust. Firefly would trust Kafka because that was what she wanted to do. "Pleasure to be working alongside you, Kafka."
All she got was a short nod in response. "Likewise." The woman hummed to herself then. "Though if you want to keep your identity secret, you should probably use a different name for fieldwork. Wouldn't want your perfect life after our work is done to get uprooted because of it, would we?"
From that day on, AR-26710, the last remnant of the Iron Cavalry of Glamoth, became known as Firefly. The cosmos, however, would know her as the Molten Knight, Sam the Stellaron Hunter.
She got used to her 'job' relatively quickly. That was partly thanks to Elio himself giving her tasks she was already good at. For a person like Firefly, who was only ever taught how to burn The Swarm into nothingness, incinerating anything else wasn't much different. Also, most things in the universe weren't as dangerous as the Propogation was back in its heyday. So, most of her jobs were comparatively easy as opposed to what she used to handle. The killing, however, not so much.
At multiple points, Elio had to assure her that the people he sent her after were evil and that getting rid of them got them one step closer to their end goal. The end was what she was aiming for. It was where she would get what she wanted—the cure to her entropy loss syndrome. That's what Firefly worked tirelessly toward—her freedom.
She didn't ask questions after that. She just got to work. She didn't even bother counting the days that passed. When Elio told her to scorch a planet infested with the antimatter legion, she happily dived in to deliver them some much-needed scorched earth operations. No matter the occasion, she followed Elio's scripts with effective brutality when needed.
That was just how Firefly operated.
Then, their motley group grew before she knew it. First, it was a man named Blade. Elio told Firefly to go along with Kafka and help the woman recruit him. He was a moody swordsman that she didn't quite get along with. Of course, she didn't help his first impression of her when she had to promptly pin him to the ground by breaking more than a few bones upon meeting him, but that was semantics. Then, a while after that, there was a girl from Punklorde around her age named Silver Wolf. Firefly just didn't quite get along with her. That one was probably because she had nothing to relate to the girl. Their just hobbies just didn't align whatsoever.
It wasn't that she didn't want to get along with either of them. It was just that there was some kind of barrier between everyone else and her.
Firefly just couldn't bring herself to understand them.
Then, finally, she met the future holder of the stellaron.
He didn't have a name when Kafka went to pick him up. She didn't even deem it necessary to name him as the woman had her. He was a blank slate. A person who was thrown into this world with nothing and had no one he could rely on. It was almost painfully familiar.
Firefly understood him.
Still, she had no intention to get closer to him than necessary. She had her own problems to deal with. She had a goal to work toward. At least, that was the plan until he found her in that hallway and spoke to her for the first time.
Then, before Firefly knew it, they changed. Kafka changed. Blade—slightly changed. Silver Wolf changed. Even she changed. Caelus slowly but surely changed all of them. Even if it was in minor ways, he left his mark on them.
He left his mark on her.
For the first time in her life, she found something she wanted. She fell in love for the first time—and what she hoped would also be the last. She found someone that she trusted. That she was willing to even give the life she'd been so carefully guarding.
To Caelus, she was just an ordinary girl. Something she'd always wanted to be. Something she feared she'd never be able to have, but with him, that didn't matter in the slightest.
They loved each other. No matter what. Firefly, for the first time in her life, was truly happy.
From then on, their lives became forever intertwined by fate. The same fate that would betray her one last time.
The walk back to their room was slow and painful in a way she never thought possible.
Silver Wolf passed her, but neither talked to the other. There was, however, a shared glance spared between the two. Silver Wolf looked conflicted, like she was walking on a tightrope, words on the tip of her tongue all the while.
Firefly just turned back and kept walking. She didn't want to speak to anyone… Not right now.
The door to her room opened before she even realized she'd taken out her keycard. What met her eyes was an uncharacteristic tidiness. Everything was in its place. As if nothing of importance had taken place this morning. Even the bed was made… She was the one who'd always have to fix it after they slept together. He usually forgot to. He never made the bed before.
Idiot. It was like he thought that doing that would make her feel better. It didn't. It just made her feel worse. It was like he was saying he wasn't coming back.
She'd have preferred to come back to find the room trashed. At least then, that would've told Firefly that Caelus wasn't so accepting of everything that happened.
The ever-growing pang in her chest only swelled as she entered their room.
It was odd. She didn't feel nearly as at home as she used to. It felt foreign. Cold… Just like the pod from which she was born.
Caelus wasn't going to burst through the door anymore. He wouldn't surprise her with an oak cake roll when she was feeling down. They wouldn't stargaze with each other. They couldn't pour over her stupid bucket list together. They couldn't love each other. There would be no more moments between the two.
All that was left were sweet memories that held an unbearable bitterness.
"It doesn't even feel like you lived here." His belongings were still here. His clothes were still in the closet. All of his mini trashcans were as well. But he was so obviously vacant.
Now, she just felt tired.
The only thing that caught her eye was their desk lamp. It was on. She didn't remember it being left on when she left the room in the morning. At least he forgot something. At least there was proof that he was here.
She moved toward it. Leaving it on wouldn't hurt, but she needed the room to be dark. Caelus always said that a dark room made it easier for him to sleep. She couldn't help but agree.
She noticed it then. There was a letter on the desk. One that wasn't there earlier.
Her armor was gone the next moment as her hands gently brushed its surface. Only one person she knew had handwriting as bad as what she was looking at. The singular word scrawled across its surface made it even more abundantly clear who it was for "Fly." The word died on her lips; even mentioning the nickname did more harm than good.
Firefly slowly picked the letter up as if she would tear it by the simple action. That was when she noticed the other item left on their desk. She couldn't help but feel her heart drop, tears falling down her cheeks shortly after with little protest.
It was a simple band, no jewel or engraving. It was just a simple ring… Just looking at it made everything feel so much more real and hurt even more.
Through her better judgement, she started reading.
"You're probably thinking, 'A letter, what is he ancient?' And while I would love to say that you keep a bucket list as a comeback. I won't… I just wanted to air out my thoughts to you somehow—the ones I couldn't say last night, and I figured writing my thoughts down was better than having someone else tell you for me.
I'm writing this a few hours before the operation begins. I woke up a couple hours after we passed out. I didn't want to wake you, and while you may disagree, I think having you sleep through all of this is better. I won't start lying to you now, Fly. I'm scared. I can't even bring myself to think about leaving the room. The only thing keeping me grounded is seeing you there, sleeping. Just seeing you is enough for me. It gives me the courage I don't have right now to keep writing this out.
Did you know that you always look sad whenever you're resting? Do you think you're alone? Do you want someone to be there for you when you wake up? You're an adult, so I'm sure you can get by, but I can't help but realize how lonely you must've been throughout your life. I'm sure being in that suffocating metal box isn't much better. Maybe that's why I can't bring myself to leave you alone without anyone here for you when you wake up… I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I'm sorry I won't be there to watch over you like this anymore.
I'm worried, too. How will you feel when I'm not here by your side when you're in there? Every time I've seen you submerged in that medical cabin and writhing in pain, I wish I could just take your illness and give it to myself. I know you'd do so much more with your life than I ever could. But that's a no-brainer, considering we're talking about you.
Anyway, I'm startin' to cry just writing this, so I'd better stop while I'm ahead. I don't want you thinking your boyfriend went out a loser.
As for the ring, it was going to be my present for your birthday. There was supposed to be a dress too, but—you know… It's measured for your middle finger. So, sorry, it's not an engagement ring or anything like that. But if that's what you take issue with, just come and knock some sense into this idiot. I never even asked how they did those things on Glamoth. Maybe it was because I just didn't want to pry, but honestly, I don't think it would make much sense with our lives the way they are. I figured this way was the more typical 'Caelus' approach.
I really do love you. You might think differently, but I don't think I tell you that enough, Fly. I love you so much that there isn't a single thing that'd beat you out in my heart. Not even my trash obsession, which you'd know isn't an insult. I know that if I were given the choice to do it all again right now, I know I'd still choose you 100% of the time. Even if it all ended the same way.
Now, please, just listen to what I'm about to say.
I know I went through all the trouble last night asking if you'd remember me, and just know that what I'm about to say isn't meant as an order. But if it hurts you to think about me, please just have Kafka erase every notion of me from your memory… I know you're probably pissed at me for even saying that, but I'd rather be forgotten than hurt you any more than I have to because if I do, I don't think I'll ever be able to face you again. It'd make me happier knowing that you weren't grieving over me.
Look at me, acting like a big shot, thinking that without me, you'd crumble. I really am self-centered, aren't I? How did you even fall in love with a guy like me?
That being said, that doesn't mean that I wasn't serious about what I said last night. I really do hope you won't forget me. I know I'm selfish and weird and don't understand how to express myself at the best of times, and I say some pretty crude things at some points, but I hope you remember me. I know I'll do my damnedest to remember you after everything is gone from this dunce skull of mine. So, if it ever comes to it, I hope you'll let me fall in love with you again, Fly. I'll make sure it's the last time you ever have to sweep me off my feet.
This would be the spot where I'd say you'd have to work hard to make it happen and give you tips on how to do it, but I'm a sucker for you, and you know me better than even I do, so I know you'll break me real quick."
Forever yours, your beloved Galatic Baseballer, Caelus.
P.S. The next time we meet I'll take you on that date I promised you. You remember, don't you? Well, even if you don't, you can hold me to my word. I love you, Fly."
As she stood there quietly reading in her head, she felt an indescribable anger boil the farther she got.
Why even leave a letter like this? Why did he even think that doing this was a good idea? She didn't need to hear this from a letter. She didn't need to know this at all! "You idiot!" She screamed to the walls through her sobs. Her tears weren't something she could willingly stop anymore.
It would've made it so much easier if he had just vanished without a trace, but that wasn't who Caelus was. Sure, he had his quirks that would weird out anyone but her, but he was kind—unbelievably so to a fault. No matter what, he wouldn't leave her without saying everything in his mind. He wouldn't let her have the last word. Even if he was still here and she yelled at him, he'd brush it off like it was nothing because he knew he loved her.
Firefly's eyes pointed toward the ring that still lay on the desk. Contempt ran through her like pain from a hot brand for a moment, but by the time she grabbed it, the sobs that racked her body made her knees give out from underneath her.
She had never hated that Caelus was a sappy romantic. She was grateful for it because she wasn't any better herself.
She had never hated that simple fact more than now.
There was no more anger. She couldn't bring herself to feel that way anymore. She just cried into their sheets as she desperately clutched onto the ring as if her life depended on it, her knuckles going white from the tightness of her grip.
Firefly just wailed. Letting her voice run itself haggard and her tear ducts empty until all she could do was sniffle and choke.
Before she knew it, a knock resounded from the door. "We have a new script, Firefly." Kafka's voice seeped through. Sultry and sickeningly sweet as always.
Firefly didn't even react to the door opening to reveal the woman in the same attire she always wore.
"Kafka?" Firefly's voice cracked and warbled. "Why're you back already?" Kafka stared at the girl on the floor, sympathy evident in her eyes as she did so. Her smile quickly morphed into a more caring, almost motherly one as she slowly approached the kneeled girl.
"It's been a few hours since we left." That long? She'd been in here crying for that long? Just knowing that made her feel worse.
Kafka bent down to face her. "It went without a hitch." The woman tilted her head to get a clearer view of her face. "Elio needs some Scorched Earth." Kafka's hand gently stroked Firefly's head, trying to offer any kind of reassurance she could to the girl.
Firefly was used to this behavior from the woman. The Pterugean Devil Hunter was just like this. Always pretending to be the mother of the group.
Firefly brushed away the woman's hand, trying to preserve whatever dignity she had left in the process. "What're the details?" The ring she'd been holding onto so desperately was slid onto her left middle finger without a moment of hesitation as she stood up.
"Elio says you can go all out. It'd be a good way to blow off some steam anyway." Kafka gave the briefest glance toward the jewelry and note on her person. A knowing nod and a small sigh escaped her as she stood up after the girl. "So that's what the ring was for." Her constant smile never left her face all the while. "What a stupid boy."
They spared no other words after that, and taking that as a sign of her departure, Kafka took her leave. "Remember what I told you earlier, Firefly. My door is always open to you." The woman's back disappeared as the door shut behind her. Leaving almost as soon as she had arrived.
Yet again, Firefly was alone like she had been long ago.
"Scorched earth… I can do that." Firefly couldn't stop the sigh that escaped her as she spoke.
That's all she needed. Just a little stress relief.
Firefly couldn't quite place the last time she'd given herself a breather, but she probably could pinpoint it roughly, though she'd much rather not dwell on those times that often.
Jobs came and went, and she just moved along with them. Events that would live on in the minds of the planet's denizens were mere footnotes in hers. She was too distracted to care about anyone else's problems.
She was just there to make sure everything burned.
She felt it, though. That she was slowly running herself ragged. Firefly knew her body better than anyone—save one person—so she knew it was barely keeping up. The only saving grace was that she rarely left her suit, so at the very least, she wasn't wasting too much time. Still, however, time was being wasted. Precious time that she'd never be able to get back.
The rest of the Hunters had already noticed.
"What?" Her tone's uncharacteristic snap did nothing to change the swordsman's expression. "Are you waiting for Kafka or something?" Blade stood in the hangar, seemingly waiting for someone or something. For her part, Firefly hadn't expected a welcome like this when she returned from a solo mission. "If so, you can find her admiring a coat somewhere."
"No." The man slowly nodded his head along to his statement. "I've come to escort you back to your room." He spoke matter of factly. His tone only made her scoff.
"I'm fine, Blade." The bite to her voice didn't wane a fraction as Blade only met her with his same indifferent face. She decided not to pay any more attention to the man as she walked by him.
When she realized she was falling, his hand had already caught her.
"Your body disagrees." She wished that was his form of mocking her, but she knew better. "When did your brain start to outpace your body?" The two stared at each other, Blade's eyes never leaving her's.
"When did you start trying to pry into my life?" She brushed him off of her, only to stumble forward yet again. Her body wasn't managing to keep pace with her thoughts, and her legs refused to listen at that moment.
Blade simply caught the falling girl yet again.
"The moment a certain someone started to try cutting ahead of me on death's waiting list." With a tenderness so utterly uncharacteristic of the man, Blade slowly helped Firefly begin walking to her room. His hand was placed gently on the square of her back as if she were an elderly woman in hospice. "When did this start?" His face—while expressionless—held a certain level of bitterness.
"A month ago." Her response was curt. The only intention in her mind was to get out of her current situation.
"A month after Caelus left, then." Those words, however, drove barbed spikes into an area of her heart she'd been carefully keeping sheltered away.
"Saying he left is like saying we weren't the ones that abandoned him." She bared her teeth, her anger knowingly beginning to fester underneath her cold facade.
"That includes you, you know?" Blade didn't falter in his rebuttal.
The melting pot of emotions inside Firefly's mind began boiling over. "You have no right to say anything—"
The man's stern and familiar voice cut off her angered shout. "Neither do you." The silence between them was all that remained then. That and their quiet footfalls on the hallway's floors. "You're killing yourself."
Firefly didn't respond. She couldn't bring herself to. She knew he was right, after all.
"He's not dead. I've met him. He's different, sure, but even I can tell he's still Caelus." As he continued, the distance between them and her room only seemed to grow so painfully distant.
"Have you ever wondered what makes us, us? Blade?" Memories of her time as AR-26710 flooded her mind. It was the formative time in her life that was stripped away by something out of her control, but they were memories that would forever live on inside her head. "I think our personal experiences shape who we are and who we become."
"Your point?"
"My point is that if memories make the person, then Caelus isn't the same person I knew." He wasn't a Stellaron Hunter anymore. He was a Nameless. A member of the Astral Express. She bit her lip as a thought surfaced from the far corners of her mind. "He's better off having fun with the Nameless than for me to go and ruin the life he has now."
"…" The quiet between them lengthened for an uncomfortable period. "I had no idea you're just stupid." An uncharacteristic snark came from the man, and alongside it, the urge to put another hole through his torso. However, before she could, Blade readorned his stern expression just as quickly as he had lost it. "I agree with you about memories making the person, but I don't agree with what you've been doing. You're just making excuses in your attempt to run away." A tired sigh escaped his lips. "I was in love with a woman a long time ago. She's the only one I can remember loving."
Firefly grimaced at the perceived sob story the man was about to spill onto her unwilling self. "Can we not start with some sappy—"
"She's dead." The bitterness in his words was so obviously pointed at himself that Firefly didn't even have to bother asking what had happened. "Then, instead of mourning her like I should have, I threw away my life in a vain attempt just to be able to see her again." A dark chuckle escaped Blade's throat as he kept walking. "I can't even recall her face anymore." The sight of the door to her room entered their view. She almost felt tempted to run to it to escape the conversation.
Blade must've got the message as he picked up his pace. He was most likely tired of all of the talking as well. "You're constantly running to your predetermined death, and I'm fruitlessly attempting to run toward mine. We both seek the opposite of the other, but our paths in life have reached a crossroads."
"If that's your attempt at a pick-up line, you suck." She couldn't help letting the dry remark escape her lips.
"You're not my type." Blade was utterly unamused by the matter.
"Neither are you." A much warmer chuckle escaped the man at her comment.
"You may technically be older than me—you may be my senior as a Hunter, but you are not my senior in life experience." Finally, after what felt like hours, they arrived at her door. "So, at the very least, try to heed my words. Don't throw away your chance to live a normal life. He's still alive. That's all that matters. In the meantime, I'll be the only one dying around here."
Firefly had never had Blade talk to her as much as he had in the last ten minutes. It was bizarre. Bizarre in a way that felt so utterly forced by the man.
Which only meant one thing.
"Who put you up to this, Blade—really put you up to this?" She didn't bother showing gratitude, knowing the man wanted none.
"Who do you think?" Without fretting the repercussions of his answer, he spoke.
That's all she needed to know.
"I hope you get yourself killed somewhere then." The door to her room snapped open and then shut as she left the immortal swordsman in the hallway.
She couldn't tell if she felt betrayed or heartbroken. Even now, when he was doing Aeons know what. He was still looking out for her.
It only made her feel that much more pitiful.
"Then you know what they did after that?" Silver Wolf flicked through her phone fast enough that even looking at the girl's blur of a screen made Firefly's head throb with pain. If that was due to Silver Wolf's dizzying pace or the fact that Firefly had just been pulled from her resuscitation pod mere moments ago by the girl, the Glamothian didn't know. "They had the gall to delete all of my accounts! I had to go to Pier Point to get them back, and I didn't even get all of them!" Firefly could practically see the anger radiating off of her.
"I'm sorry to hear that?" Firefly wasn't shocked that the hacker would start venting to her suddenly, or unused to it for that matter, but she couldn't say she was particularly in the mood for something like this at the drop of a hat.
"Yeah, your boyfriend—" The color in her face seemed to drain at her comment. "T-they really pissed me off." Silver Wolf lost whatever snap she had to her tone as she bit down on her tongue. The accidental mention of Caelus apparently did more harm than good for their conversation. "It was all a huge pain in the ass." The girl awkwardly rubbed her neck, her once boisterous voice now meek and her eyes seeming to find anything to stare at that wasn't Firefly much more appealing.
"It's fine, Wolf." Firefly's words betrayed her voice. Each one coming out much more strained than the last.
It was anything but fine. She was just trying to dissociate and deflect. Firefly was hurting. More than she ever had, and it was all because a singular person had left her life.
If her old squadmates could see her now, what would they think? Would they reprimand her for idling by? Or would they encourage her to continue her life like nothing had happened? No matter what situation Firefly could create in her mind, it all sounded like a pitiful excuse she tried to use to escape from it all.
"It's not, though." Silver Wolf sat still, her shoulders scrunching. Her device practically bending at the force she was squeezing it with. "We just threw him away like some useless drop in an MMO after we were done with him. None of what we did was okay." Silver Wolf sounded different. She sounded hurt. So much so that Firefly couldn't do anything but listen and watch the Punklorde hacker.
The girl stopped then and released an exacerbated sigh, only to stand momentarily. Her head quickly turning to face Firefly. "But none of that matters if you go and kill yourself before you work up the courage to meet him again." Her harmless, sheepish look from before had turned into a poignant glare directed straight at Firefly.
"What are you talking about? What I'm doing has nothing to do with—"
"Oh c'mon, it has everything to do with Caelus." Silver Wolf stood there, her arms crossed in a defiant stance. "You and I both know that."
"Wolf. Whatever you think you're trying here won't accomplish anything." Firefly's voice came with an edge. She wouldn't just sit there and take something like that, not even from her friend.
"Yeah?" A smirk crossed Silver Wolf's face as she looked down at the girl. "Then catch." Before Firefly could register what was happening, Silver Wolf threw her phone at her. Only for the device to harmlessly bounce off her chest without any resistance. Firefly never moved. She'd tried to, but her body wouldn't listen in time.
Her body wouldn't even move when she told it to now.
Silver Wolf's stare turned into a grimace at the sight. "How long do you have left?" Silver Wolf's usual demeanor was long gone now. Now, an almost uncomfortable seriousness that Firefly couldn't recall having ever seen took its place.
Firefly's suppressed guilt over the matter only made her speak hushedly. "If I'm lucky, I have a few system months." The air between them quieted then. Neither of them dared to make a sound as they both just stood there staring at the other.
Then, without the slightest stutter to the action, Silver Wolf's hand met Firefly's cheek, and an almost deafening smack echoed across the room at the impact.
Firefly couldn't hide her shock as she reeled back from the slap. Firefly's eyes quickly darted to Silver Wolf's face. The girl seemed to be on the verge of tears. Her strained face was a melting pot of emotions that Firefly couldn't even begin to understand.
"What the hell was that for?!" Firefly nursed her cheek as she yelled at the shorter girl before her.
"Because someone ought to hit you for being an idiot around here!" The girl's tears began to fall without pause.
"Do you think you're the only one hurting?" Silver Wolf pressed her hand against her chest. "Who gave you the right to go and try offing yourself?!" Silver Wolf's anger was made well enough known. Firefly couldn't remember a single time the girl had shown as much clear emotion as she did now.
Firefly thought she'd get angry at the girl. She thought she'd want to tear her in half with SAM, but the pain in her cheek refused to let her. The guilt she knew she had let build up was unwilling to let her move.
"Do you think killing yourself will make anything better?! Have you never thought about what that'll do to us?! To the people that give a damn about you?!" The girl screamed to the floor as she clenched her hands into tight fists.
Firefly's anger quickly outweighed her guilt, however. She couldn't take sitting there silently anymore.
"Then have you ever considered how I feel, Wolf? After all this time, I finally found someone I could understand. Someone who didn't care if I was some weapon." Firefly stood only to look down at the girl easily a head shorter than her. "Have you ever thought how much it would hurt to lose the person you love—the person you'd been looking for your entire life to something as stupid as fate? I'd never been as happy as I was then! Not once in my entire fucking life! Now look at where I am! By myself, just like how it started!" Tears built up in the corner of Firefly's eyes.
Another slap struck her before Firefly could continue any further.
"You're not alone!" Silver Wolf gritted her teeth.
"Have you ever considered how it feels seeing your friend killing herself over being separated from the guy she loves?!" Firefly felt her reddened cheek. The warmth of her face grew alongside her forgotten anger.
"I only have two friends in this entire Aeon-forsaken universe! One doesn't remember anything about me and treats me like an annoyance, while the other is trying to be some martyr." Silver Wolf looked up to Firefly, her face marred in tears.
Her teary eyes told the Iron Cavalry knight one thing. You're not the only one hurting. Silver Wolf's words hadn't been a lie. She'd only spoken the truth. Maybe the same went for Kafka's reassurances and Blade's unique way of comforting her.
Maybe everyone was just trying to hide their pain from her. Perhaps they were trying to help ease the pain Firefly had held in her heart in whatever way they could. Maybe everyone was hurting in their own way. But instead of breaking down, they decided to trust their fate and continue to hope that their paths would cross each other again.
Maybe she was the only one unwilling to look toward a hopeful future. She didn't want to believe in fate. Not now. Not after all it had done to her.
Whenever she thought about meeting him again, a pit formed in her stomach. He didn't need her. He never did. No matter what came his way, Caelus would always find a solution. That's how he'd always been, even before they became closer. Caelus would thrive in an environment like the Astral Express. He was always destined for more incredible things—brighter places.
No, he didn't need her. She needed him.
She'd always been alone. For her entire life, she served other people's purposes. She was a puppet that had only recently had its strings cut. Then she found something—someone that she felt she could give her life to. Something that felt so absolutely right.
She hadn't even noticed that she'd grown too attached for her own good.
Without Caelus, she felt lost. That letter hit a little too close to home for what he could've guessed, but he knew her better than anyone else, so it only made sense. She'd read that letter far too many times to count. She'd found herself crying at the mere thought of it an insufferable amount of times, too. She was borderline miserable. She was nothing like she'd used to be.
She'd tasted her forbidden fruit, and now she was beginning to find herself unable to live without it.
Now, she was just scared. Scared of dragging him back down and ruining whatever life it was that he'd build for himself. No matter what negative thoughts dredged up from the far recesses of her mind, she'd always excuse her silent suffering with his perceived happiness.
It's all for him. As long as he's happy. He deserves a better life.
She didn't want to drag him back down, but she couldn't help but want to see him again. To be with him again—if only temporarily. Even if it was only as friends—or enemies. As long as she could see him again.
She didn't know what she wanted to do. Firefly thought leaving it all behind would be the best for them, but it wasn't working. Not one bit.
So, if it ever comes to it, I hope you'll let me fall in love with you again, Fly. She couldn't help but think of those damned words.
"Wolf." Her voice cracked. Whatever composure she had left slipped through her fingertips at an alarming pace.
"Yeah?" Silver Wolf fared no better.
Firefly had no idea the Punklordian could be like this. She figured the only things in her mind were her games, but maybe she wasn't as simple as she let on.
Perhaps no one was.
"I really want to meet him again. I—I really want to live." Firefly wiped the ever-increasing tears from her eyes. A flood of emotions she'd be keeping in came flooding out in waves. "But I'm scared of losing him again. I'm scared of what he'll say to me. I don't want to be alone anymore—" Two small arms reached around her then.
It didn't take Firefly a second to realize Silver Wolf had wrapped her arms around her in an awkward hug.
"That's the one thing I can promise you." The girl didn't dare loosen her grip, fearing that Firefly would see her embarrassment.
Firefly didn't want to believe that fate had her best interests in mind. Not after every other hand she'd been dealt in her life, but just this once, she wanted to believe she'd have her happy end. She wanted to bet on the fact that Elio truly was leading her down a better, brighter path.
She wanted to meet Caelus again and be able to look him in the eyes and tell him her name. Not as Sam—nor as a Stellaron Hunter, but instead, as Firefly.
Neither Silver Wolf nor Firefly moved much after their heated interaction. Maybe the cause was Firefly's unwillingness to move, or perhaps it was because of Silver Wolf's obvious embarrassment, but neither bothered enough to discuss. Instead, they eventually mutually agreed to separate, and the previous tense atmosphere was gone and replaced by an equally awkward one.
"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Firefly fidgeted slightly under the gamer's now returned uninterested stare.
"We're well past friendship level five, Firefly." The girl remarked with a slight snicker to her tone, but Firefly could spot the slight blush of embarrassment dusting the girl's cheeks from a mile away.
Her question, however, only made the girl raise her eyebrows. "Did you like Caelus?"
Silver Wolf slowly turned toward the girl, a questioning gleam in her eyes as if asking the intent of her question.
Firefly, however, gave no such clear indication.
"I don't know if like is the correct word." The girl stuffed her phone back into her pocket with a nonchalant movement. "He was the only person to never blow off one of my invites. Sure, we'd push each other's buttons occasionally, but neither of us would ever go overboard, and I liked his company whenever he was willing to spare it… Maybe some people would call what I felt love, but I've never liked one of you over the other…" The previous embarrassment came rushing back into Silver Wolf as her cheeks turned red. "Gaagh! Why are you making me say this bullshit?! I like both of you, okay?! I want you guys to be happy or whatever!" With as much trepidation as a wild boar, the girl stomped over to Firefly, a finger stabbing into the Molten Knight's chest. "So if you ever pull all this shit again, I'll be right there to smack the shit out of you and knock some sense back into that lovey-dovey-filled noggin of yours!"
Firefly only offered a weak surrender to the girl, receiving a slight glare from the girl.
"For both me and him. You better keep your word." The girl spoke in a lower, sadder tone. Whatever damage Firefly had done to her body was bad enough, but they still had time. Time to hope and time to find a solution to her problems.
The time she had left was invaluable. It was just a matter of how she would use it.
"Feel free to ask for help from now on. It might be a pain, but I'm willing to help the two of you out. You're the only people in this universe I can even begin to care about, after all." Silver Wolf clicked her tongue as she exited the room a moment later, a quick departure in contrast to the heavy situation they had found themselves in.
It seemed their hacker was a tsundere.
Firefly couldn't help but imagine how Caelus would've reacted to a scene like the one they had.
She'd tell him all about it if they met again.
A moment later, the door reopened, and Silver Wolf's head popped back out. "Oh, by the way. Kafka put me up to this. So you better pay her a visit soon. You know how she gets with being ignored." Then, without another syllable, she vanished again.
Now, that was a whole other can of worms that Firefly didn't know if she was ready to tackle yet.
Apparently, when Silver Wolf said to pay Kafka a visit soon, she meant within forty-eight system hours because by the time Kafka found herself back in their hideout and hadn't been given a surprise visit by the girl, she instead decided to drag her junior colleague to a pseudo meeting in the woman's bedroom.
Firefly could only whimper out for a reason why the woman was doing what she was, but she only received a smile and a simple, "You know I hate waiting when it comes to things like this." Somehow, Firefly felt the woman was angry—well, not somehow. Firefly could pick up these sorts of things from the woman after being around her for as long as she had.
Kafka's room was as much as you would expect it. Rustic, very fashion-focused, and somehow homey. There were also some things that the girl hadn't necessarily expected to see. Firefly wasn't going to point out the fluffy handcuffs by the bedside, nor was she going to mention the other objects of highly questioning purposes. Like, why did she have a cello relaxing next to a submachine gun? Who just did that? Kafka. That's who.
"A girl's talk is nice occasionally, wouldn't you agree?" With a demure smile, Kafka walked over to where Firefly had been seated. A white porcelain teapot was held in her hands, the price of which Firefly could only assume was so astronomically high that it could easily buy everything she had ever owned.
With a practiced grace, Kafka poured tea into a matching cup for the girl. "It's nice, but this is more akin to a forced therapy session." Firefly sipped the tea. The sweet flavor that hit her taste buds slightly confused her relaxed demeanor.
With her own cup of tea now in hand, Kafka sipped at the obviously darker liquid. Did she spike me? The alarmed thought she had only gave way to an apprehensive stare. One that only made Kafka sigh.
"I wouldn't stoop to the point of poisoning my comrades, Firefly. I just made yours the way you like it. Y'know, with milk and sugar, the whole shebang." The woman sipped her tea again. Firefly liked sweet things. Sure, her favorite dessert may or may not have wood shavings in its recipe, but she always preferred sweet over bitter. Kafka was very much the opposite. There might be an analogy about how the two of them lived their lives there, but Firefly couldn't bring herself to care. "Also, this doesn't have to be a therapy session if you don't want it to be. I just figured a good heart-to-heart with sweet old Kafka would do you wonders." The woman's closed-eyed smile only furthered Firefly's apprehension.
"A heart-to-heart with you sounds like a death sentence." Kafka didn't so much as flinch at the comment.
"I'm not that cruel…" The woman feigned her being hurt as she paused—as if knowing what she had just said was a blatant lie. "I just prefer to keep things interesting." If interesting meant doing things Firefly would consider cruel and unusual punishment, then sure.
"Then you're not gonna interrogate me?" Firefly's dry remark only made the woman chuckle in response.
"Dear, there isn't anything I could ask you that I don't already know." The woman tipped her cup back up to her lips. "But if it would please you, you can ask me a few questions instead. Consider it my gesture of good faith and trust." Kafka's smile was as charming as it was bewitching. Firefly knew firsthand why the Devil Hunter had the highest bounty in the Stellaron Hunters—and it wasn't just because she was their eldest member.
Firefly steadied her breathing at the woman's proclamation. "Then don't mind if I do." Firefly carefully set down the cup. "Why do you care about this?" The woman simply tilted her head to that. "Why do you care so much about Caelus and me?" After everything that had happened. After all of Kafka's inaction regarding Caelus. Firefly needed to know just what it was that she was after.
Red wine met sunset as they sat across from each other, and then, as if her voice was a record player that just starting up, Kafka began to speak slowly. "I used to love a man." Those words alone told Firefly more about the woman than she'd ever known. "Well, I say love, but it could've been anything. Lust. Infatuation. Yearning. Maybe I even naively thought he could understand me, but I believed it was love… That was until I saw the two of you." Kafka sat there, a somewhat somber look on her face as if betraying the smile on her lips.
"I'm getting off-topic." The woman giggled to herself again. "We were both young and entirely foolish. At the time, I was still trying to find my way in life. I hadn't quite set down the path I'm on today, you see? He was trying to prove himself for some idiotic reason or another. Eventually, we started seeing things differently and went our separate ways." Kafka drummed the armrest of the chair she sat in. "I met him again sometime later." Then, as if it never vanished, her usual smile returned. "He wasn't the same man he once was—and I wasn't the same woman… It must've been then that I realized I had never loved him." The woman gave a short chuckle to herself. "I imagine the only thing on his mind then was the bullet I put between his eyes." The woman didn't move.
"What?" The only emotion left on Firefly's face was bewilderment.
"Expect it to be a happy end? You know well enough that our lives hardly leave enough room for those things." Kafka smirked at that, and Firefly couldn't help but grow tense. "There were others after him, but none of them lived long. You could guess who it was that made them meet their maker."
"Why?"
Kafka's eyes never left Firefly's. "Because we were on the opposite sides of the chessboard." What exactly was it Kafka was trying to tell her? What was it that she was looking for in her eyes?
"Not that." Firefly's voice grew stern, but Kafka's faze only grew more puzzled.
"Whatever could you mean then?"
"What does this have to do with Caelus?" Firefly felt like she'd already had this conversation not too long ago.
Kafka sat there and stared at her for a while. Her thoughts obviously went into contemplation of what her following words would be.
"I don't hate Caelus but don't confuse that lack of hate with an affection. He's an interesting boy, sure. Who knows. Maybe I'd even have him wrapped around my finger if you weren't around." The woman could tell from the glare that she was receiving that stopping where she was would be better for everyone involved. "He was a person we all were attached to in our unique way, but you shared a bond with him that went deeper than any surface-level attachments we had." As she continued, Kafka's usual serene voice turned slightly more serious. "But that doesn't mean that one day an issue will arise where we share different ideals."
Something clicked in Firefly's head then. It was as if the entire conversation had been leading to this point. "Are you trying to insinuate that I'm going to kill Caelus?" There was no anger from Firefly. Only a dreadfully cold glare she pointed straight to the woman.
"Not that you'd kill him. I'm just saying that the world can be a cruel mistress." The woman was trying to reason with her. That wasn't going to work on Firefly.
"The Astral Express isn't our enemy. They never have been."
"That doesn't mean we won't get in a conflict with them in the future."
"When it comes to that, the last thing on my mind will be killing Caelus. I'll be too focused on keeping him alive."
The woman sat across from Firefly, utterly idle for a moment. Only for her frozen state to turn into a semi-relieved smile.
"You've grown a lot in your time here, haven't you?" The woman's kind voice flayed her consciousness. This, too, was something Firefly was used to.
Kafka's Spirit Whisper.
"It seems I haven't grown nearly enough." Everything she'd done in the short time between Caelus' departure and now was tantamount to that fact.
"But you have. That's all that matters, dear." The woman stood to approach her. The chill that rushed down Firefly's spine oddly comforting at that moment. "Back then, you would've exploded at me. Or maybe you would have been indifferent to all of this back then?"
The woman's hand grazed her face in a tender motion. "You really don't want to vent? I'm here for it." Kafka's smirk by itself was reassuring enough for her.
"I'm sure. I did enough whining with Silver Wolf." Firefly couldn't handle another repeat of that, especially with the woman who was the closest thing to a mother figure she ever had in her life.
"I heard."
"She told you?" Firefly didn't necessarily feel betrayed. After all, Silver Wolf only did any of that at all because Kafka gave her a little push.
"I was outside." Well, that solves that.
"I see." At least Silver Wolf wasn't that insensitive.
There was one other question Firefly wanted an answer to.
"Do you think I deserve the life I want, Kafka? For as long as I could remember, I've been chasing some unknown dream, but now that I can see it, it seems so far out of my reach." She wasn't lost anymore. She hadn't been lost for a long time, but that didn't mean she knew where she was going. "Do I deserve Caelus?" She just wanted someone to tell her if her actions were right or wrong.
She just needed something—anything.
"I think you're posing the wrong question, Firefly." The woman hummed along with her words. "It's not about if you deserve him. It's if he deserves you." Kafka dragged Firefly to her feet, her head dipping down to meet Firefly's height. "We both know that's redundant, though. Because there's only one guy out there that deserves you."
She couldn't help but laugh at that comment.
Everything was just so simple to the Pterugean. More often than not, frustratingly so. Still, that was just one of the many reasons Firefly knew she could rely on her in times like these.
"Anything else you want to pick my brain for?" Kafka's voice cut through the air like a hot knife, driving Firefly away from her thoughts.
"Is this script of yours done yet?" The woman's smile grew ever so slightly.
Ever since Blade had gone out of his way to talk to her, she'd figured something was happening behind the scenes and behind her back. Silver Wolf's stunt only further cemented that fact in her mind.
At some point, she realized that Kafka and Elio had been working against her little temper tantrum in ways Firefly hadn't even considered.
"Can't ever go against the script, Firefly." The woman shrugged, and Firefly couldn't help but sigh.
"Why would any of this be that important? It wasn't like I was ruining missions or anything." Elio's time was precious to everyone. For him to waste it writing something like this was so incomprehensible to the girl that it was almost funny.
"It doesn't make sense to you?" Kafka scoffed at the girl. "If Caelus is shaping up to be the main character in this play of ours, wouldn't that make you the heroine?" The woman gingerly approached the girl, placing her hands along her shoulders.
The matter-of-fact way it left Kafka's mouth only made Firefly want even more answers to whatever was happening.
"That doesn't make any sense, Kafka. He doesn't remember—"
"But he remembered me." The words left Kafka's mouth without missing a beat, and with it, Firefly could feel her mind and heart stop as if those four words were all it took to steal her entire world away. "He remembered my face and name, but that was all. He didn't seem to remember anything more than rudimentary information.
"But you—how did he?" Kafka only shrugged at the girl's question.
"I'd love to tell you. Honestly, I would, but I simply have no idea. Nothing like that's ever happened before." She stared squarely into the girl's eyes. "You know what that means, though, don't you, Firefly?" The woman's smile only seemed to get more cheery as she spoke.
"You don't mean…"
"If he remembered little old me, he most certainly remembers you." Kafka wrapped her arms around the smaller girl. Her warmth enveloped her as if it would never let her go. "That batter of yours is still in there, Firefly. So, I'm not lying—there's hope for you two yet, dear. He told you himself, right? That he'd pick you 100% of the time?" Kafka's smile was infectious.
Firefly couldn't remember the last time she'd received news that had made her this happy… Truthfully, there hadn't been a time. Her entire life was filled with constant mishaps and tragedies, but today, one blessing shone through her life like nothing ever had.
A hope she hadn't been willing to look for had shown itself, and she didn't want to ever let it go.
After Caelus left, Firefly waded around in the dark for a while. It was lonely, and no matter where she looked, no directions were given on where to go. She wasn't actually alone, however. She hadn't been for a while now, and now some of that weight on her shoulders had finally been lifted, and she realized that maybe she could still hope for a future. Perhaps she could live the life she had fantasized about ever since Caelus told her he loved her. Perhaps she could finally find her happiness.
Of course, that would have to come after Firefly chastised the older woman for reading a letter she wasn't supposed to read and not telling her that Caelus had remembered anything about his time with them.
Sometimes, she couldn't tell if Kafka was the most responsible out of their bunch or simply presented herself that way.
For right now, though, Firefly would be fine.
"The new scripts are here." Kafka strutted through the doorway into the longue, waving a stack of papers, the size of which Blade, Silver Wolf, and Firefly immediately noticed.
Whatever it was they were going to do, it would be important.
"What? No questions right off the bat?" The woman stood there, a fake pout on her lips as if she was dejected.
"What, so you can just tell us off? No thanks." Silver Wolf lifted herself up from the couch. Her unamused stare pointed straight at the woman.
"Well, color me impressed. You would've hopped on this opportunity to ask what we were doing a while back. Did a certain grey-haired boy change you that much, Wolfie?" Silver Wolf's expressionless face grew just a tiny red through the woman's teasing.
"Whatever, Kafka. Just tell us where we're going." The girl, without much fanfare, stole the papers out of the woman's hands.
It didn't take long for Silver Wolf's unamused expression to turn surprised. "Are you serious?"
"Yep." Kafka nodded along mindlessly to her words. "You and Firefly are going to Penacony." The declaration should've meant nothing. Sure, it would be a novel experience for Firefly, a person who couldn't dream, but that was skipping over how she'd even get into the former penal colony in the first place.
No, what made that information such a revelation was what Firefly had heard not too long before all of this.
The Astral Express was going to Penacony shortly.
"Firefly will be going into Penacony and assimilating herself into the populace as much as possible. Then, when the time is right, she's to get the Astral Express to chase down the Watchmaker's Legacy. Wolfie's just the assist and backup if need be." The woman turned to Firefly, her eyes shining under the fluorescent lighting. "As long as you get the Nameless to do their part, nothing's stopping you from doing whatever you want."
The only thing she could think of was seeing him again.
"I can do what I want?" Firefly's question was met with a nod.
"With some boundaries, but yes. Outside of your mission, it's up to your discretion."
"I…" She could feel herself getting flush just thinking about it. Living an everyday life for a while. Just being an ordinary girl. Being able to do everything she had never been able to before.
Meeting Caelus as Firefly and not SAM.
"I-I'm gonna go get ready!" Firefly rushed out of the room, much to the chagrin of Silver Wolf, who still held the girl's script in her hands.
"You didn't bother telling her that the operation starts in three days." Silver Wolf couldn't help but deadpan at everything as she pointed toward the operation start date on the front page of their papers.
"Neither did you." The woman shot back with a grin. "She's better like this anyway. A smile looks better on her face than a frown." The woman turned to the silent man in the corner, who had simply stayed quiet during the interaction. "Don't you agree, Bladie?"
The man just growled at the displeasure of being asked the question. "As long as the kid doesn't end up dead before me. I won't complain." Without saying another word, the man returned to his silence.
Silver Wolf, however, just stared blankly at him. "Dude, you didn't even answer the question." The man let out a deep sigh at the words. "See, that's exactly why no one besides Kafka wants to fuck you." Wihtout much of a second thought, the man slowly leaned away from the wall and walked out of the room, his footsteps only followed by Kafka's laughing fit.
"This is why I hate couples." With an exasperated sigh, Silver Wolf relinquished herself to deliver Firefly's script to her.
The one thing the Punlorde hacker knew for certain was that they were all in for a wild ride.
Authors Note: This took longer than expected but stuff happens I guess. So far this story is definitely longer than I originally intended for it to be, but I guess those things happen too. If any of you haven't yet, I'd really recommend you to read "The Sunset In Her Eyes". Of course, I'd assume most of you have, but there are a couple things in the first chapters her that were inspired by it.
Nevertheless this story only has two chapters left so with chapter three we're one step closer. Next up is a lover's rendezvous in Penacony? Until next time.