Chapter Three

Trying To Understand Dwarves

~~Elaina's POV~~

There were now twelve dwarves in our home and they were making so much mess. The once laid out food were now half eaten, leaving in its wake a lot of crumbs. The only thing they had not touched, I realised, was the cheese and the strawberry cake that were now near the edge of the table. I walked towards the table and pushed them futher back.

I step back and nearly knock someone over. Turning around I look aghast as I saw a very nervous looking dwarf nearly on the floor.

"I am so sorry," I reply steading him back on his feet "are you alright?"

The dwarf looked at me shyly and blushed.

"I'm f-fine really." he replied, blushing even more.

I nod my head, smiling at him.

"I'm Elaina."

"Ori at your service." Ori replied, smiling shyly back at me.

"Ah Ori has found a lady love!" laughed the dark haired dwarf named Kili.

I turn my head round seeing Kili watching Ori and I with a massive grin on his face. He was in the middle of grabbing a handful of sauage rolls on the table.

"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me." I heard Bilbo remark.

I return my attention to Ori and saw he was walking away from me.

"Don't mind him lass," I heard someone say behind me "Ori is very shy!"

"Well," I began, turning around and facing who I was speaking too "as long as I haven't offended him in some way."

"No," the dwarf started saying "his always like that to newcomers...Bofur at your service."

"Elaina." I reply, noticing his hat, Bofur was the only one wearing a hat.

"Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?"

I turn around again seeing Bilbo glare at another dwarf who was holding onto all the cheese that was once sitting on the table.

"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." smirked Bofur.

I catch Blibo's gaze and just shrug, not knowing what else to do.

Hetti came in the living quarters, wearing beige trousers, white shirt and had her ruby hair tied neatly in a bun. She clearly looked shocked by all these newcomers. Walking to where Hetti's gifts were, I leaned forward and grabbed my gift for her, taking no notice of all these dwarves. I then went up to Hetti and beckoned her to follow me away from the others.

She took the hint and followed me outside. We both walked over to the bench and sat down.

"Happy birthday Hetti," I began handing over my gift to her "I really hope you will like this."

Hetti smiled before tearing the paper of her present. I watched her face and saw her look at my gift, then at me with tears in her eyes.

"You don't like it!" I asked her.

Hetti then took me by surprise and embraced me.

"Elaina," she whispered, looking at me with tears running down her cheeks "This must have taken you ages."

Hetti looked back at the gift and smiled. I glance down at the present. It was a self portrait of Hetti, Bilbo and myself at a picnic we went to a few months before. The drawing had Bilbo and I holding Hetti with a lone horse in the background. In the drawing I was leaning on Hetti's right shoulder, while Bilbo was leaning on her left shoulder, each of us looked carefree and happy.

"This is the best present ever Elaina," whisperered Hetti "I'll shall treasure this forever."

"You have other presents to open up," I chuckled "so ask me again later on whether my gift is the best one ever."

"No, yours is special as it comes from the heart," said Hetti "thank you so much."

Again Hetti hugged me and I return the hug back.

"So," began Hetti "Just who are those men in our home?"

I then explained to Hetti just what had happened while she was searching for apples.

o0o

A little later and I was sitting next to Loki, watching these strange dwarves. They were very loud and laughed when someone happened to burp or fart. I caught one of them throw a sausage roll towards a larger than life dwarf named Bombur and he caught it in his mouth straight away.

Gandalf I noticed, had hit his head on the chandelier and despite myself, laughed a little at that.

"Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...Ori." I heard Gandalf say.

Bilbo was in the process of trying to retrieve of a lot of tomatoes from another dwarf. Hetti sat down next to me now with a look of horror on her face.

"What's the matter?" I asked her.

"Um, well it's that dwarf over there, by that tall man."

"Gandalf," remarked Loki listening in "that's the tall man's name."

"The dwarf next to Gandalf," began Hetti once more "seems to have something lodged in his head."

"Aye, he does," remarked Dwalin plonking himself next to Hetti "he has an axe stuck in his head."

I was shocked, surely something could be done.

"Is there no way of taking it out?" I ask Dwalin who was downing a mug of ale.

"No, it could kill him, if someone even tried to remove it. Bifur can only speak in our native language Khuzdul and body language but his still the same, just got to have patience to understand him." replied Dwalin.

Glancing at Bifur, I saw how he was near Gandalf and was saying something to him. Gandalf was nearby and I heard his reply.

"Yes, you're quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short."

There was another coming? Just what was going on here?

"He is late, is all. He travelled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come." replied Dwalin catching my gaze and winked at me again before having another drink.

"I think you pulled." whispered Hetti in my ear, snickering at my expense.

I pretended I didn't hear her, as I watch a dwarf named Dori holding a glass of wine in his hands and was approaching Gandalf.

"Mr. Gandalf?"

"Hmmm?"

"A little glass of red wine, as requested. It's, eh, got a fruity bouquet." said Dori, handing over the glass of wine to Gandalf.

"Ah, Cheers." smiled Gandalf who then downed the wine in one gulp and seems to be upset that there is no more wine in the glass.

Again, many dwarves have become rowdy and I watch in amusement as Bofur throws some food at his brother Bombur and again, Bombur manages to catch it in his open mouth, where everyone except Loki, Gandalf, Hetti and I cheer at what Bombur has just done.

I could see that Bilbo looked a little put out and walked out in disgust. I got up and followed Bilbo who was now in our now empty lauder.

"Why are they even here?" asked Bilbo, more to himself than to me.

"I have no idea Bilbo," I whispered, placing my arm around his shoulder "I'll stock up on groceries tomorrow."

Bilbo turned slightly, so he could look at me.

"Elaina, you should not have to do that," Bilbo sighed "Those dwarves should replace what they are currently eating."

"I know," I reply "I do know something though!"

"Oh!"

"I don't think I will ever understand a dwarf."

Bilbo chuckled.

"No, me either. Come on, let's see what more they can do."

We walk back in the room and see that every dwarf were causing more mess. When they drank their ale, the ale left a tell tale sign on their beards and when they ate, crumbs were now sticking on their beards. It was disgusting to watch and even Bilbo didn't look too impressed either.

Bilbo walked of in a huff, while I stayed where I was, by leaning on the wall. I saw Hetti appear to be having a conversation with that loud outspoken dwarf Kili. Bilbo comes near me again with Bofur close behind. Bilbo was holding something in his right hand.

"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" exclaimed Bilbo, waving the doily at Bofur's face.

"But it's full of holes!" remarked Bofur.

"It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet!"

"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it." replied Bofur.

For which I found that funny and laughed at Bofur's reply, causing some onlookers to glance at me. One of them, decided to come up to me.

"We haven't been introduced," he says to me "Fili at your service."

"Elaina."

"Are you and Hetti related?" asked Fili, tilting his blonde head a little "only I noticed you both don't really look alike!"

"No," I reply "Hetti and I are not related to each other but we are honorary sisters though and are very close friends."

"That's how it should be," smiled Fili watching me intently "So you and Hetti lived here your entire life?"

I was unaware that both Gandalf and Loki were listening in to our conversation.

"No, we have stayed with Bilbo since Hetti and I were five years of age. We've been with Bilbo ever since."

For a second, we watch one another.

"Where were you before you lived here?" asked Fili.

I was about to answer when Gandalf said,

"Elaina, could you be a dear and pour me another glass of red wine?"

I nod my head and head towards the kitchen, looking for a clean glass, again I was unaware of the look Gandalf was giving Loki.

I return with a clean glass and pour a generous amount of red wine before returning to Gandalf who was now near Bilbo who was complaining again.

"Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!" snapped Bilbo, shaking his head in frustration.

"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" enquired Gandalf, while I hand over his glass of red wine to him.

"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?"

"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them." replied Gandalf, taking a sip of his wine.

I watch in amusement as a dwarf had a string of sauages round his neck and Bombur was trying to grab them.

"I don't want to get used to them. The state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet, they've pi-pillaged the lauder. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom, they've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!"

"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" asked the shy dwarf Ori.

"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." said Fili walking over to him.

I then watch in complete shock to what happened next.

Fili took the plate out of Ori's hand, he then threw the same plate over to Kili who then throws the plate to Bifur who had his back turned. After that, Fili and Kili then decide to throw the other plates and bowls in the air, noticing every dwarf catch them without dropping them on the floor. The plates were being piled up to the sink, to be washed.

The plates, when washed are then thrown in the air again and the circle is repeated before being neatly stacked on the table. No plates or bowls were ever broken.

To say I was was speechless was saying something.

"That," I began watching all the dwarves slow down a little "was very impressive. That must have taken you all years to be perfect like that!"

"Oh aye lass," smiled Bofur "It did."

"Excuse me, that's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!" scoffed Bilbo.

Bofur and the other dwarves are now drumming knifes and folks on the table, which sounded like a little beat to me.

"And can-can you not do that? You'll blunt them!" demanded Bilbo, getting more angry now.

"Ooh, d'hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives." remarked Bofur.

I then hear Kili sing a song which the others soon join in.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

When you've finished, if any are whole

Send them down the hall to roll

That's what Bilbo hates!"

Despite myself, Hetti and I start laughing as the song finishes. Bilbo huffs around the room completely angry. When three loud bangs make everyone stop what they were doing.

"He is here!" said Gandalf, somberly.